#bc that was important and it proves the ones that say it’s abusive wrong

[valewritessss]

If I read one more “annabeth is toxic” analysis where they leave out the part where Percy laughed after the judo flip and where they subtly make Percy out to be some weak and submissive victim while they’re at it I’m going to scream

[macsimagines]

hiiii!! I saw your "yanderes who will resort to murder" so can I request separate HCs for Yandere Kisaki Tetta and Ran Haitani where they cheated on their darlings bcs "she couldn't keep them entertained" and ofc the yanderes won't allow their darling to leave them so their darling becomes more and more lifeless day by day... thank you so much!

TW: Yandere, Abuse, MINORS DNI

Yandere!Kisaki

He doesn't cheat. Don't get me wrong, he's tried. But he can't stand the feeling of someone's lips on him if it's not you. Nothing will ever matter if it doesn't revolve around you.

What he does though is make it look like he cheated. He needs to test you. Sure you were here before he became a rich mogul, but are you really going to stay no matter what? Will you really keep your promise?

Kisaki is shocked when the answer is no. "You think you can leave me?" "Don't give me that crap! YOU cheated! YOU'RE the cause of all of this!"

The second you try to walk out that door, bags in hand, Kisaki is grabbing you by your hair and dragging you back. He has never once been physically violent with you, that's why you're so shocked and can't even react right at the action.

"You're not fucking leaving, Y/N. That ring on your hand means you HAVE to stay."

It's your turn to shock him when you throw your ring on the ground. You've never taken it off since the day he slipped it onto your finger...

"FUCK YOU! I WANT OUT OF THIS MARRIAGE!"

But there is no out. Not anymore. The doors are bolted, you're chained and collared, and no matter how hard you try there is no escape.

The light fades from your eyes, day after day, and he's so broken seeing you slowly start to loose your light. You're everything to him, and like an insecure fool he's ruined you.

"Y/N please," he'll beg, "It was all a lie. I just...I needed to know you'd stay with me no matter what."

Your eyes start to water and Kisaki feels sick because that's your first emotion in weeks. "That makes everything so much worse..."

Kisaki will try and fail to build you up again. He's been trying to prove how much he loves you, how devoted he truly is. "Of course I'd never be unfaithful. The thought of anyone else makes me nauseous."

"I wish you would cheat... I wish you loved anyone else and not me." "...That's never going to happen, darling."

Yandere!Ran

He treats you like you're replaceable and you've let him for years. Eventually though, you've finally decided you've had enough.

"Haven't I been good to you!? I take all your bullshit and love you through it, why can't you just be loyal!?" His words make you sick "Not my fault you don't excite me anymore."

Well if that's how it is then you're not going to waste one more second of your time. The bastard has the audacity to actually leave you there crying.

"I actually have something important to do than listen to you cry, Y/N." and just walked out.

If that's the way he wanted to play it then you were going to leave. You had more important things to do as well, like rebuild your whole life without Ran Haitani.

When he returns home you're gone. You packed a bag and dipped out even emptied out your bank account. "She's bein' real dramatic."

Doesn't take it seriously until his brother says something. "Bro... I really think she's done this time. My guys just found out she bought a ticket outta Tokyo."

Thats when he really starts to get pissed. Goes out and finds you. "Look, I'm soooo sorry," he tells you rolling his eyes, "Now will you quit bein' hysterical? Do you get how bad you're makin' me look?"

The cold empty indifference in your eyes shakes him. Like you don't even care that he came all this way to get you. You're not even saying anything to him.

It goes on like that, him making demands ordering you to come with him, you not even acknowledging him. "You have your whores. You don't need or want me." is the only thing you say before you're making a move to get on the train.

Fuck making a scene. No one leaves Ran Haitani.

Its been months now. And you still won't talk to him. He's tried everything from isolation to starvation and physical violence. You might scream here and there, but verbal communication? Nope.

That empty look in your eyes is starting to really scare him. Ran really had no idea how much he needed you until you were really gone. Physically you're there, but its like he's holding a husk.

Once again, his brother has to speak up, the younger Haitani always did have a soft spot for you. "Bro, c'mon already. You broke her. She's got nothing left."

[ptsdangeldust]

tw rape / abuse / suicidal ideation / self harm

can i just fucking say that the "poison" scene was just fucking flawless to me. as a survivor of rape and psychological abuse it was so fucking hard to watch and hit on every note i wanted it to. the suicidal ideation, the self destruction, the pain, the torment, the addiction, the hopelessness, everything.

[this got long LOL big analysis of ep4 basically]

also it's a little funny how easily i called it when the pilot came out that angel was gonna have ptsd and cope with it through hypersexuality . like this was obvious from the start to me and they do telegraph / foreshadow it from the first episode pretty well in my opinion. like ALMOST too much. but at the same time i'm kind of glad. like that's what i like about the show is that it *is* so raw and over the top when it talks about this kind of thing. that's why i like campy edgy uncomfortable shit bc where the fuck else am i gonna hear anyone specifically hit the perfect sweet spot of just exploitative-feeling enough to feel palpably uncomfortable in a way that just like. perfectly conveys this message. in my opinion, obviously.

it's like so crazy to me that i had this exact high expectation for the show and adjusted for edginess and got exactly what i wanted and then some. like. god. they hit every note in succession all at once and then tied it off with a beautiful, nuanced but genuinely well paced and well thought out resolution.

"loser, baby" was so fucking perfect as the counterpoint to "poison" in this episode. also charlie coming in and being purehearted but not knowing what she's doing and making it worse. but angel ultimately understanding that she meant to help and it's not her that's the problem obviously. and then husk is ultimately the one to give a shit about angel (with some encouragement, which like i honestly appreciate that he doesn't take angel's bullshit and isn't just the like Token Black Savior who has no character or agency of his own [of course i'm white so don't take me as the authority on this issue but i'm certainly aware of it]) and like not only try to stop him from self destructing but like relate his experience and make him admit he has a fucking problem. sooooo much of abuse is built on making the victim think they're at fault for what they're going through. the way val makes him look in the mirror and say "yes" outloud to himself over and over while literally holding his head and threatening him was such a good way of driving that home. and then we see angel have so much pride poked at so easily when he's called fake because he's SO aware he's putting on an act. he lets himself be exploited because he thinks it gives him a sense of control. can't be called fake if i'm an actor. can't prove i'm ever real. never have to BE real. never have to admit that anything is wrong and come to terms with it.

and so husk comes right the fuck out and says it. you're a loser. you're washed up. you're a has been. you're self destructive. you hurt everyone around you. ..... and you're not alone. THAT'S the important part. that's the real thing that gets you out of abuse. people. not being alone. like not just KNOWING that THEORETICALLY you're not alone but actually having people show up and help you and put in the work and relate to you and listen to you and let you listen to them. that's why abusers chronically work to isolate people. because it's so much easier to exploit someone who has absolutely no support system. who only answers to them. who has no one to turn to if shit goes sour.

ok also the fucking hypersexual self harm? i have NEVER seen that portrayed so accurately and so explicitly before. i feel like basically every single time i see it talked about at ALL in media it's either 1) portrayed as like sexy or ultimately good 2) strays totally the opposite direction and is talking more about cycle of abuse shit (which yes that's also important but not what i'm after) 3) really just hinted at / i have to like extrapolate it from vague hints or 4) exists in shitty media that is not ultimately trying to tell a story about escaping abuse it's just talking about a tragic waif and trying to make you feel sad. which is just another kind of exploitation really. so it was very refreshing to see it made very clear that angel was going around *trying* to get drugraped (which is NOOOOOT the same as consent. but i'm not going to get into that) because he was trying to hurt himself. he knew it wasn't good for him and he sought it out anyway. he could have wound up dead and he did not care. that's how low his self esteem is. that's how little he thinks of himself. that's how absolutely terminal his suicidal ideation is. i like used the word 'passive' at first but no i would not call that passive he is clearly actively suicidal hsuidguhds (ftr passive suicidal ideation is like. 'i wish i could go to sleep and not wake up.' but not actually acting on it. active is when you start purposely not looking both ways when you cross the street. that's basically what angel was doing)

anyway yeah. ep4 was kind of the peak for me i'm ngl HUIDGHIS obviously i'm very excited to see where things are going in general but especially more huskerdust........ i would like live if they didn't actually end up together but it feels clear to me that they genuinely care about each other and at least angel does seem to have... romantic-leaning feelings for him. would be cool if they had some scene where husk is like just cuz i care about you doesn't mean i'm going to be your magic saviour through love or whatever. bc i feel like it would be so easy for angel to immediately want and/or expect that. i did personally coming out of my abuse where i was absolutely desperate for real actual non-abusive love of any kind but i was NOT remotely healthy enough to truly accept it then even if it had actually been handed to me and i wound up in something that was..... better, yes, but ultimately still toxic and not completely ideal. not abusive, no, just not like. healthy. lol. but i do have good healthy happy love now so i'm glad lol <3 but like anyway this is a common thing with abuse survivors and it would *make sense* to see it but like i wouldn't put it past them to just go straight into "and then angel got better immediately and they got together and everyone lived happily ever after the end" HSDUIGSHUID but like idk man. we'll see LOL

also i did want to comment on like...... the fact that the scene was worked on by someone with a legit rape fetish who was like straight up into angel/val as a ship and thought it was like cool and fun or whatever. like. i really don't think the scene itself came off as glorifying rape or abuse. it's blatantly obvious that it's not good and the emphasis is placed entirely on angel's pain. and like it's. it's not porn. it's evocative. it's explicit. but the purpose of the scene is not "look at this hot sexy sex" it's "look at this horrifying abuse". like yes obviously there are gonna be people who get off on it but people can get off on anything if they try hard enough. porn is art explicitly meant for jacking off. not everything about sex is porn. i think if you interpret it as glorifying sex you're honestly out of your goddamn mind. the song ends with angel talking about how he wants to fucking die because of it. is that glorification to you?? really???

ultimately, *I* think it's good. i think, objectively, the team did an extremely good job. give them an award or something. i swear. where's the oscar. my boy angel needs his oscar LOL

... one last note, because this is tumblr: this is very triggering material. probably it should've had a better warning of some kind. but it is telegraphed/foreshadowed like i said and the show is rated 16+ on amazon (i feel like it should be 18+ imo but it's like. it's repeatedly listed as being for adults/"R rated" in promo material at least) and sex and violence are listed right there at the top of each episode where it shows the rating so like. idk man. that's as much warning as is usually given for this kind of thing ngl. i absolutely am not saying it's not triggering. but it is important to portray triggering things. it is important to talk about these things to give people in these situations someone to relate to and to give them the language to understand how to escape abuse, first of all, and like also art in general *should* be challenging. i think they genuinely said important, unique things and said them well. they did wayyyy better than i thought they would. for real. like esp coming from viv knowing her past like. clearly someone in the room actually knew what they were doing lmao (one of the writers for hazbin also worked on the episodes in helluva that covered similar abuse recovery material so. you know)

[richkidcityfriends]

your opinion on 2022 winter Olympics

okay so im assuming this is only about figure skating and i mean oml there was so much going on. below the cut bc i think this is gonna be long.

okay so FIRST OF ALL the kamila valieva situation. where to begin. (as a note: none of this is a statement on her except in relation to the 2022 olys)

the positive test being from rusnats and only being found out in february is weird. idk if we ever found out exactly why that happened? but i can only assume it was meddling from the russian end.

i think the media response was cruel, and i think part of that was a lot of people were trying to talk about it without knowing the full situation, but the amount of vicious hate and blame kamila received was unjustified. she was fifteen years old and in an abusive situation, to what extent she knew about the doping is irrelevant in my mind, the blame falls on the adults in power (mainly her coaches). eteri tutberidze is notoriously controlling and abusive, and there is no way any of that was happening without her being responsible. she controls the amount of WATER her skaters can drink. skating at that level, especially in russia, your coach is practically your primary guardian; if eteri told her to dope then there was pretty much nothing she could do. only eteri girls were ever going to go to the olympics, if she switched coaches that would have ended her life's goal (and the way they train is so all-consuming that to not get to the olympics at all would have felt life shattering).

should she have been been allowed to skate? i dont think so. at least partially bc it essentially proves to coaches that you can "get away with" doping as long as the people you are drugging are children. obviously having an athlete who has taken performance enhancing drugs is unfair to everyone else, but that goes without saying. HOWEVER i do understand the worry that the test could have been wrong or she might not have known, either way it would have been unfair to her. (the "irreparable harm" quote is always taken out of context - they meant that if she skated and was found guilty they could strip her of the medal, but if she was banned and found innocent there was no fixing it). ultimately though i think letting her skate was the wrong decision (especially since the case STILL hasnt been settled).

i dont think eteri told her to throw the free to make sure the others got their medals, because she looked so traumatised afterwards and eteri reacted so badly (ive never understood this theory tbh)

that was the first scandal from the olys but oml it was definitely not the last. there was so much going on. olympics from hell. lets talk about the womens podium.

(but first a note on ultra c elements: do i think the sport is suffering because of the increased value placed on jumps? yes. do i think artistry is important? absolutely. do i think there is a conversation to be had about the morals of training young children (especially girls) to do dangerous jumps that cause permanent damage to their bodies? one hundred fucking percent. things need to change in this sport. however. i will make repeated references to whether or not someone is jumping ultra c when discussing the podium, because that is how its scored atm, and i do think that they aren’t irrelevant (it is a sport, athletic feats are also important) just please please know that i am also taking artistry into account its just harder to objectively phrase in a short paragraph and this is already long enough). okay caveat over. please no one attack me. lets go.

look i KNOW the most pressing question is do i think anna deserved gold HOWEVER. have you considered. did anna deserve to be sent to the olympics at all. and this makes me insane because like?? skating like she did at the olys?? yeah she probably deserved to be there!! so it kinda seems mean to talk about this but ALSO i feel like we definitely have to not forget it so. the russian olympic team was pretty much based off of the podium for rusnats, which that year was kamila, sasha, anna. but anna in third place was veryyy controversial bc like. she had no ultra c elements at all (and her tech is DODGY so without them it gets even harder to justify her high scores) but elizaveta had a triple axel (and better tech) so a LOT of people thought that she should have come third, but rusfed just wanted to send anna to the olys instead (which i pretty much agree with).

but okay whether you like it or not she DID make the olympic team so. womens olympic podium. a grenade of a question. everyone is allowed their own opinions on it im not saying anyone is wrong if they think differently!!!!! also im only going to talk about the top five bc this is already wayyy too long.

i know on tiktok a while back the popular opinion was that wakaba should’ve been gold, which i don’t really agree with, however she absolutely should not have been fifth. no doubt in my mind she should have been at LEAST fourth, if not third. kamila should have been behind her i don’t care how many quads she was attempting, she fell like five times. she got through on reputation and the eteri bonus alone. kaori did skate cleanly, but with no triple c, and her tech isn’t great on some of her jumps, so wakaba (who fell on a jump, but had a triple axel, and generally better tech and artistry imo) could have come third and i would have been happy. anna i go back and forth on, because her artistry is alright, and technically she does jump quads, but her tech skills are SO questionable (her quad lutz is neither a quad nor a lutz). the tech bar for quads is lower than for triples, and i do kinda think that makes sense, but her quad tech is worse than most of the other quad jumping girls so it’s a fair comparison. i don’t think she deserved gold, but im never fully sure about silver either. honestly her, wakaba, and kaori can fight it out for second/third/fourth. in terms of actual skaters i like wakaba best, in terms of who performed best on the day i think you could make a compelling argument for any order.

that of course leaves sasha in first place. i know she fell on her triple axel in the short, but the only people who didn’t fall at all were anna (i’ll talk about her last) and kaori, and while triple c elements aren’t the only important thing, the skater who fell on one and landed five kind of has to be above the skater who attempted none at all, imo, so that puts kaori out of the running. wakaba fell once as well, and she definitely has the edge on artistry, but i don’t think sashas artistry was as bad as a lot of people say, especially in her short, so i don’t think thats quite enough to put wakaba ahead of sasha overall. sasha’s tech skills were so much higher than the rest of the skaters that i think it would be almost impossible to bridge that gap with artistry alone. lastly theres anna, who ofc actually won the ogm. two clean skates, slightly better artistry, much worse tech (i know sasha’s tech isn’t perfect either, but she’s definitely better – id say thanks to plushenko). annas tech should have been called, if not her edges then at least for prerotation. sasha fell on a triple axel and anna landed a double in the short, sasha landed five quads and anna landed two in the free. taking into account how poor her quad tech is, i don’t think that her artisty is enough to pass sasha.

however!!!! again i want to reiterate!!!!! everyone is allowed their own opinions on this!!! i do not give a damn if you think that anastasiia shabotova should have come first!!!! go you!!! to each their own <3

now for something that i do think you can wrong about. the reaction to sashas reaction to the scores was appalling. she was seventeen years old (a CHILD) in an extremely high stress situation and had been told by her (abusive, manipulative) coaches that if she landed all five quads she would win, and when this turned out to be untrue she got upset and had what was clearly a panic attack, asked not to be filmed and was ignored by every cameraman in the area, had to immediately go in front of millions of people while still being a mess, and was then attacked from all angles for being “ungrateful” and “showing bad sportsmanship.” show some empathy. (especially ppl who are still giving out about it now “on behalf of anna” when they seemed to be at least friendly again as soon as the very next day)

OKAY WE’RE ALMOST DONE i mostly only follow women’s so the rest of this is going to be brief

sui/han deserved ogm, my sister and i were rooting for miura/kihara to do well but we knew there was no chance for a medal. loving seeing them do so well rn.

nathan chen’s costume was ridiculous. last time i said my nathan chen take i got eaten alive on tiktok so im not gonna say much about him. he did deserve gold tho.

scoring felt harsh on yuzuru. wish he’d gotten another ogm but it wasn’t meant to be. im glad he got to attempt the quadruple axel at the olympics at least.

papadakis/cizeron ogm deserved.

oh MY god i forgot about the team event. pls someone save me. im so sorry i know no one wants this much. this isn’t even the worst i can do. i have talked at my friends for hours straight before about figure skating. i cant help it i have no control. we are going to ignore the team event okay. Just give them their medals. pls. i beg. they still don’t have their medals. i know it sucks for the rest of the russian team if they lose the gold bc kamila was stripped but you have to give the rest of them their medals.

anyway if you made it until the end here is a gold star ⭐ i don’t know how you did it.

[dreamgirlvibes]

My thoughts on “Unconditional Love”

Love isn’t a feeling- it’s a commitment everyday to choose to be there for someone physically and emotionally. Loving someone doesn’t stop when the “butterflies” fade away- if anything real love proves that you’re still there even when they are uneasy to love. When someone is hard to love is when you test yourself to see if you truly do love this person. So ask yourself a question: do you love conditionally or unconditionally? Are you basing your love on feelings or do you truly love someone every single day even when they are unlovable? I can admit, I definitely have loved based on conditions before and ended some things based on if I’m being “treated properly” and no I don’t mean physical abuse or any of that matter. I mean the days when people aren’t so romantic, aren’t so nice, aren’t so sweet. The days when people become “normal” and love feels “normal”. But what is unconditional love? We see and hear about it everyday even if we ignore it. It’s what Jesus did for EVERYONE- even those who rejected and will reject him. He gave Himself for everyone. He showed the world that love is not based on feelings bc if it were- He would have only died for the people that believed in Him, not the ones who didn’t care or believe what He did mattered. He gave everyone a chance. He showed all of what Paul described to be love in the Bible- Patience, Kindness, He didn’t boast about it, he remained humble, what he did wasn’t self seeking, he didn’t even become angry about it, didn’t dishonor anyone and most importantly He did it so that God can keep NO RECORD of wrong! He did to to protect us, He trusted God’s plan for His life when He was here and hoped for us, preserve it through the end. That is love! What He did showed that if Love was truly conditional, there would have been conditions for who got to receive eternal life- and He literally gave it to us as a free gift- to just accept Him and believe that He did it. You didn’t have to be anything or anyone- you didn’t have to own much or own anything at all- it was LOVE. And to think I’ve loved unconditionally? Nah…lol I haven’t. Maybe I thought I did, but I know for me- the first time someone doesn’t make me FEEL appreciated or special bc of course MY FEELINGS are more important- who cares if they’re having a bad day? MY HEART means more, MY emotions need to be catered to, who cares if someone else can’t reciprocate what I need immediately right? Wrong. If Love was truly based on conditions, imagine how much even your own children will have to prove themselves to be worthy of being your child? Your kid can stab you in the foot, crash your car, rip every dollar you have and even talk about you negatively to everyone they know but you’ll still love them. You may be livid, but that doesn’t mean you’ll just throw them away, right? Where’s the care and concern for people you CHOOSE to love? Not everyone is capable of unconditional love but that’s why we need to be at His feet every single day- looking at the cross. Looking at the example and reminding ourselves that at our MOST unlovable- Jesus said “I still love you”. That even after years of being the world’s best friend and coming to the fact that the world is a backstabbing, lying, toxic person- Jesus says “I love you still, I’m still here”. Just waiting. But us humans? We don’t really know a thing about unconditional love and we need the Lord every single day- to teach us, to show us, to help us become like Him. To LOVE and find LOVE that resembles the Father’s heart.

[ghosttbeef]

I love how major studios are using AI in place of paying artists for things that would not make a dent in their infinite budget, how so many artists I follow are panicking bc their stuff isn't selling at cons or online and their stuff is getting stolen, how the number of fics I was able to see fucking Doubled on ao3 once I made an account bc everyones terrified of their stuff getting scraped, how 99% of the ads I get on YouTube (i mostly use it on mobile) are AI voiced or TikToks the company paid pennies for instead of producing themselves, how many artists have had to jump through hoops to prove they actually made their own art after getting attacked about it and how I've run across multiple art posts on twitter w community notes saying "we were wrong guys this wasnt Ai generated lay off now", or how disney/marvel keeps putting fucking dead people in their movies by abusing their woefully underpaid overworked SFX team to make an uncanny puppet of them bc brand recognition is more important than respecting the dead, or how many photos I've seen circulate that even I, who am skeptical and I'd like to think keen eyed, couldnt tell until it was pointed out that they were fake. How you Need to stay eagle eyed and suspicious of everything one of the 500000 horrors you see a day despite every major news event of the last several years sounding like parody. Isn't it cool and fun and normal.

[spikeinthepunch]

okay... i am starting to see some issues more with sheezy's pretty consistent tagging that feels like a Bit Much. like on one hand its very straightforward and literal in definition but. it still has me concerned on potential policing either from user side (users getting too comfy with being saved from seeing any content they dont want to see) or potential bad actors on the moderator team (and this isnt to accuse anyone on the team, its just a 'what if' that could come to fruition bc of these circumstances). this drawing was marked by a mod for nudity. is the character nude? yeah. their rule for General category nudity includes barbie-doll characters with skin. their nudity tag also includes barbie-doll skinned characters that have on pants or only a shirt.

issue is its not to say this description is invalid, the character is technically naked, despite no nipples of genitals. but i cant be the only who finds this a bit much. because they allow furry characters without nipples to not be tagged as nudity. (if they have defined nipples they need a nipple tag. if they have not nipple-esque belly spots its fine). now this is where it starts to get specific in a way that almost contradicts things. skin vs fur doesnt make a lot of sense when technically theyre both naked. the furry has no clothes and is anthropomorphic. if they say feral animals/non-anthro creatures are obvious animalistic and not need to be tagged as nude, then what kind of abomination could i create that muddies these rules?

im gonna keep going under the cut actually to point out some issues i have with the visuals for the rules. which you can find their rules here

i already mentioned the nudity stuff enough so im not gonna pull those up now. but then other one has to do with gore/blood. this one is waaaay to subjective on what can be considered too much or too little.

this is for the General category blood/gore rules:

this is for the Mature category

there is no visual for Explicit, its honestly described very much like Mature but additions to 'cannibalism'. they also say candy gore should be judged by the artist for severity (more being too vague or subjective here! contradicts the strictness of other rules).

so like, the biggest issue i have with the above is the shopped lim thing. "undetailed limb cross sections" look nearly the same. what if there is shading on a limb that makes it look like the mature category? what if their wacky colo style makes it look like that? what if the amount of dripping blood is just too much? etc etc.for the body-- if you allow open/chopped limbs in the General Category AND the Mature one... what is the difference? and again, how much blood is too much???? is putting a darker shade of red in the center of a chopped limb too much?? how and why? this is just far too subjective. artists have to judge what they deem fitting to these rules, and mods do too. and there will undoubtedly be loads of instances where this manual tagging from mods will happen.

there is also the rules regarding "substance abuse", not being allowed in General but can be in Mature-Explicit. now i didnt get manually tagged for substances abuse BUT i mentioned this the other day-- a mod manually tagged a drawing of mine with "alcohol". but the drawing had zero indication the bottle being held was alcohol in the first place.

now, the mod happened to be correct, i knew what it was in my head. but thats the thing. i knew it, only i did. what if it was a soda? and if they truly assumed it was alcohol and was wrong, and i disputed it, what would stop them from just saying "well i think its alcohol". i cant really prove it, and id just have to hope the mod is kind enough to let it be changed instead of just deciding for themself that i was right and they made a mistake/assumption.

i only really ramble about this bc i think its important to consider.... i have no ill will for sheezy either, but its a young site and its being run by young people (some even younger than me), and i think myself and others have seen some not great trends from this generation and younger regarding puritanism and censorship-- which i am not accusing these people of. but as i said in my last post, some times this "over tagging" can make a situation where the users expect the website to be safe and curate the space for them. the website/mods should not be become the parent figure hiding the gross things you dont want to see. you curate your internet experiences. the more specific they get with tags the more likely people would get upset if they pulled back from it, made changes, missed tagging something, or mistagged/misused the system.

[sorikkung]

♕ of princes and princesses ♕ | s.mg, j.yh

✒ pairing: princess!song mingi x trans!prince!reader x prince!jeong yunho

✒ wc: 16.7k

✒ genre: royalty au, angst, romance, smut, heavy on the themes of queerness and identity

✒ summary:

"Only princesses like princes," you were all told. Mingi figured that must make him a princess, because he knows he loves the Crown Prince of Choeya, Jeong Yunho.

"You're a princess," you've been told, but you know you're a prince - and if it takes recruiting the estranged princess of Reuji to help you prove that point on your last stand, so be it.

Yunho is throwing a gala between the three kingdoms to forge alliances, and has no idea just how successful he will be.

✒ warnings! blatant transphobia and homophobia, verbal and emotional parental abuse, implied dysphoria, smut, anal (m. receiving), mirror sex, first times (mingi is a virgin), both of them have stupidly huge cocks, unprotected sex bc this is medieval times did they even have condoms? usage of the title "sir"

✒ a/n: this piece is very, very, very important to me, so i really hope you'll give it a shot! i especially invite cis readers to give it a chance to boost more marginalised identities within the reader insert community, to help even one other queer person out there feel more seen and normal. any reblogs or feedback would mean the world to me <3

as this fic is about queerness and acceptance, i will happily rewrite it for other queer identities upon request, whether that be trans woman, nonbinary, or any other shade of queerness, so just let me know!

The scalding syllables of the name that is not yours linger in the air again, ringing in your ears – the painful reminder of who you are expected to be. Princess.

“I’m not your princess,” you snarl, but like always, your words fall on deaf ears as the Queen pivots around to glare at you, shoulders tense and fists clenched.

“You are going to drop that attitude right this instant, young lady. With the gala coming up we cannot afford to have you dragging our kingdom’s name through the mud even more. Do you hear the things they say about you? First Reuji’s boy princess, and now our own Uchian Princess parading around as a prince. It’s a disgrace.”

“Yeah, just like your parenting.”

Wrong move. Nevertheless, you smile at the rage reflected in her eyes, storming towards you, but you don’t flinch. She won’t hit you. You know she won’t – such would reflect badly on her, and she has a role to play; the role of a kind, benevolent Queen. So gracious that she houses you, despite the dirt you put on her name. How generous and understanding of her, to not cast you out for the crows to finish off for defying her so constantly. Truly.

She grabs your wrist harshly and drags you out of an earshot from the seamstresses sorting out your dress, lowering her voice. “This is your last chance, child. I have been merciful thus far, but if you keep up your ‘prince’ act and ruin things any more than you already have at the gala – in front of both our neighbouring kingdoms, may I remind you – you’re out. I don’t care where you go, but it will certainly not be here.”

You swallow down the bile that rises in your throat at the threat. She’s insinuated such things before, but never has it sounded so final, concrete. You suppose perhaps she has been waiting for this – a chance for you to publicly fuck up badly enough that exiling you won’t reflect on her as a Queen, and more on you as a failure. After all, the problem has always been you, hasn’t it? No one else seems to have a problem with their name, their role, how they’re referred to or how they’re supposed to act. No, you’re just some spoiled princess who craves attention since her older sister is the heir to the throne instead. How spoiled you are, to have it all and still have the nerve to ask for some basic respect and understanding.

Who else could possibly even begin understand you, anyway? You don’t see anyone else rejecting the role they were born with, living the life of another – except, maybe, the name you hear scandalously gossiped about in the courtyard and throughout the town, the estranged firstborn of the Reujian Royal Family. Princess Mingi.

The princess, to your knowledge, is actually a man. At first you though perhaps he wasn’t, and he simply was born that way and like you, wanted no part in it – but word got around that he fell in love with a man, and was told much like you were, and only princesses like princes. He took this and decided that he would simply be a princess. It was a bold move. You respect it. You only wish you could speak with him, maybe then you’d feel more sane.

The Queen would never allow it, though, as she remains boring her eyes into yours with an icy cold warning. Whether to scream, laugh, or cry, you’re not entirely sure. Instead, you meet your mother’s gaze for a few long moments, hoping she can feel the piercing hurt and bitter hatred that seeps from your very being, and wordlessly turn around to leave. She is not worth the breath you have to spare on words to change her mind; there will be no such thing. You know that much by now.

You have better plans now, more important ones. The first step? Writing a letter and finding a way to contact the infamous Princess Mingi.

“So are you going to tell me why you’re sneaking around and trying to keep something hidden from our mother, or what?”

Your older sister blocks the doorway you were attempting to go through, leaving you without many options. Finding the privacy to write a personal letter was easy; finding someone who would be willing to keep secrets from the rest of the royal family was not, and as trustworthy as your selected messenger may seem – a pretty servant boy called Wooyoung with a fine eye for shiny stones and a certain distaste for the rules – you were not willing to bank on him not ratting you out if your sister, or gods forbid, your mother, interrogated him personally.

“Bold accusations to toss around,” you huff simply, buying yourself some time to formulate a cover. “I swear everyone’s just looking for an excuse to get me in trouble. You, too?”

The Crown Princess sighs deeply, seating herself on the plush study chair you were writing in not long before. “Not if you help me with something. And promise you won’t tell mother.”

“Now that’s more like it.”

You grab yourself a chair to sit across from her, crossing your legs and waiting for her to talk. She doesn’t meet your eye, which is rather uncharacteristic for the woman; not for her to be shy, or even anxious, but for her to be so around you. Usually, it seemed like she cared about just everyone else’s opinions except yours.

“The stable boy,” she breathes out quietly, “I think... no, I am... I’m in love with him.”

Had you been sipping a drink, you surely would’ve spat it right back out.

“The stable boy?”

“I know, I know,” she sighs, pinching the bridge of her nose and seemingly trying to shrink into herself, shield her ego from the blow of such a confession. “It’s… I don’t know. I tried to ignore it. I know Mother really wants me to find a prince or nobleman to marry, she’s been so insistent on me attempting to court the Crown Prince of Choeya at the gala… but I cannot do it. Not while I know my heart belongs with another. Not while his belongs with me.”

It’s reciprocal, then, that changes things. You let the new information bounce around in your head to really process it before offering any sort of advice or reaction; a learned behaviour taught to you by the royal court since the moment you were old enough to speak. Since, you have commonly opted to not bother filtering or formulating your responses based on other’s reactions, but this situation is far more delicate than most – at least to you. For your sister was the only one who tried to treat you the same despite it all.

“What do you want me to do about it?”

She wouldn’t have come to you just to confide a secret, you’re sure. Well, mostly sure, though royal life is rather lonely and there is a chance she came to you as the only person she could get it off her chest with, barring the stable boy himself.

“Truthfully, I don’t know.” She plays with the sleeves of her dress, staring at them like the answers lie within the intricate lace patterns. “But you’re good at these things, usually. Figuring out how to do things we’re not supposed to do. You find a way.”

“Find a way?” You scoff, unable to believe what you’re hearing. “Is that what it looks like to you? Our mother threatened me with exile this morning.”

Her movements halt, hands dropping from her sleeves and looking up at you with wide eyes. “She... surely she doesn’t—”

“She means it this time.”

The silence is deafening, ringing through your ears. She means it this time. A probability that neither you nor your sister ever wanted to face, and thought maybe, just maybe, it would never really happen. What else would keep the young going if not foolish hopes and dreams? It was a wilful delusion, one that you wished didn’t have to be over so soon.

Like usual, however, fate has other plans.

“What do you plan to do, then?” Her voice is edged with worry, more than you’ve ever heard from her before. More than you ever thought you’d ever hear from her.

You shrug. “Pack my things, maybe. She says this gala is my last chance, and if I ruin it I’m out for good. Good riddance, then,” you snort dryly, bitterly attempting to seem like this could be any sort of desirable outcome, a feeble attempt to regain any sort of control over the situation. “I’ll have to raise hell on my way out. This is going to be one hell of a party.”

“You’re not even going to try?”

“Why would I?”

It’s as clear as day to you. If there was any chance of pleasing your mother without sacrificing who you are, you would’ve done it already. You aren’t about to sacrifice who you are for the sake of what other people think. You refuse to live a lie, no matter how easy it would be. Easier on the outside, maybe.

“Is the luxury worth it if it comes with no real power, no real respect? Living as a commoner seems more appealing than this if it means I finally get seen as a man. Not being watched and scorned for my every move.”

She has nothing to say back. There’s a silent but mutual understanding that you won’t change your mind, and that she will miss you. She toys with her sleeves again, trying to think of something, and you let her. Not that you think it’ll make much of a difference, but you let her, just because.

“Court Prince Yunho for me, then.”

“Huh? Did you not miss the part where—”

“Lie. Lie to our mother, tell her you’ll shape up and you regret acting up and you want to make things right by courting the Crown Prince. Convince her that you’re the better choice to send, since if I marry the Crown Prince and he wants to lead his own kingdom and not ours, that will leave you next in line to the throne. That’d be her worst nightmare, right?”

It stings, but she’s right. She’s right, and the more you think about it, the better of an idea it seems – not just will you get the dramatic exit you would make sure you get regardless, but with a big enough scene, Prince Yunho wouldn’t want to go anywhere near your sister, nor would any other potential suitors from all three kingdoms.

“…and then I wreak as much havoc as I can in one night.” You finish her train of thought for confirmation, and she nods slowly. Who knew your penchant for disruption would ever be useful?

“Then we both win, no?”

“I don’t need to do this to win, though,” you point out. “I could get what I want without bothering. What’s in it for me?”

She rolls her eyes, folding her arms crossly. “Can’t do one favour for your older sister before seeing yourself out, huh?”

“Can’t give anything in return to the brother you’ll never see again?”

 She bites the inside of her cheek. “Alright. I’ll try and organise you a safe place to stay after it all goes down. The court still listens to me, I’m sure I can get a holiday house. I’ll say you’re my housekeeper, and then when I leave the palace, I can say I’m going there and go stay with my… my stable boy.”

“Wait, really?” Truthfully, you’re stunned. You were hoping for a memoire of hers to keep with you in your exile, maybe one last home-made meal she used to make when she picked up cooking as a hobby in her teen years. “You’d do all that… for me?”

“I would. I may not understand why being a man is so important to you… but that does not mean I want to lose the only sibling I have. It’d be different if you were married off and moving kingdoms, at least I’d know you’d be happy and well looked after – but exile is not so kind. You deserve this kindness.”

Suddenly feeling indebted to your sister, you crush her in a hug far too tight and too improper for anyone else to see, but she isn’t as surprised as you anticipated. She hugs you back, holding you just as tight, and no more words are needed to express your gratitude, nor her appreciation for you so rarely voiced.

When you finally pull back, you’re smiling genuinely for the first time in far too long.

“Thank you. I’ll make sure this gala is unforgettable – but first, I need to rewrite a letter.”

Dear Your Royal Highness, Princess Mingi of Reuji, I hope this letter finds you well.

I’m sure I don’t need to remind you about the upcoming gala. Are you excited for it, perhaps? Or are you dreading it? You can be truthful with me, Princess. From what I’ve heard, your family sounds a lot like mine. Gatherings such as this are usually such a chore, and keeping your cool in front of such rude guests questioning the very things that make you, you… it’s tiring, isn’t it?

Word does travel. We seem to have a lot in common, I think, so I would love to meet you in person when the date arrives. If your parents are anything like mine, they’ll be warning you to stay away from me, right? Gods forbid we sully their reputation any further. I don’t know about you, but that only makes me even more keen to meet you.

Within this letter I offer you a gift – the custom-made dress my mother forced me to order as a condition to be allowed to talk to Prince Yunho at the gala. That’s a long story there, but the short of it is that my sister does not wish to marry him, and to save her the strife, I am offering to be the one from our family to court him instead. I don’t imagine I’ll actually succeed, especially once I tell him that despite what my family likes to tell people, I am, in fact, a man. Being born otherwise does not change that. Unless the Crown Prince is like us, it will probably not lead to much. If he is… well, wouldn’t that be interesting?

Anyhow, I doubt the dress will fit you, so I included some of the locally sourced, luxury fabric used to make it so your seamstress can adjust it accordingly, if you so choose to wear it. It’d make quite a statement, don’t you think? Considering your reaction to being told only princesses can like princes was to become a princess, I figured such bold statements would bode well with you. It’s a beautiful gown, truly, but alas, it is simply not me. I have a feeling it will look better on you than it ever would on me. In fact, I ordered it with you in mind – I heard you were a fan of the colour pink, and it certainly pleased the Queen to hear I was getting a dress so feminine. I’ll be fine stealing one of my late father’s suits for myself.

I apologise in advance if any part of this letter is presumptuous. If you wish not to interact with me nor wear the dress, that is perfectly fine by me. I hope you enjoy the gala either way.

Yours truly,

His Royal Highness, Prince of Uchia.

Mingi has to read the letter three times before it sinks in that he was really just contacted by the infamous Prince of Uchia. The prince, which he had heard was “actually a princess,” but dressed up in suits and cut his hair and declared himself a man to the public – that’s prince enough as far as Mingi is concerned. He had been so damn curious ever since the word got out, wondering if maybe you were like him, or at least, understood him, but the thought left his mind up until the gala between the three kingdoms was announced.

He was shocked that the King and Queen permitted him to attend, after they had forbidden him from travelling outside the city’s walls ever since he first confessed his crush on Crown Prince Yunho of Choeya, at the tender age of fifteen.

They were visiting so he could meet the Choeyan Princesses, not the prince, but the Princesses simply never caught his eye the same way Prince Yunho did. He was kind, charming, funny, tall – well, taller back then, Mingi briefly wonders if he’s now caught up to him or if Yunho towers over him still – and everything Mingi could dream of… except that he was a man.

It didn’t strike Mingi as a problem, back then. After all, he had travelled to meet potential suitors, see their chemistry, court them, and that is exactly what he planned to do, until he realised just how much of a problem that actually is.

“Mother… I think marriage doesn’t so bad after all.”

“Really now? That’s wonderful news darling, which princess caught your heart, mm?”

That was the last time Mingi remembers his mother calling him darling.

“Actually… it’s the prince.”

“The prince?”

“Prince Yunho. I really like him, Mother, I’m–“

“You’re delusional, is what you are.”

He often wonders what would’ve happened if he never said anything. If he feigned interest in one of the princesses, got along with them well enough, and got married like everyone else wanted. Everyone else but him. Would it have been easier, to not have ever been cast aside? Or would it have been harder, to keep a secret and live a lie? Would the way his heart beat for Yunho have ever gone away? He still thinks about him now, years later, and he would be lying if he said he wasn’t looking forward to seeing him at the gala and seeing if that spark he felt between them was real or just part of his imagination.

Because when he thought back to the moments they had spent together, the long sparring matches or chess games – both of which, he was no real competition for Yunho, but he couldn’t say he minded losing too much when the other boy would pat his shoulder and tell him he did well and offer to go again, obviously going easier on him so he could feel good about winning, and it worked. He knew what Yunho was doing, but it still worked, not because he actually felt better at sword fighting or chess, but because it meant that Yunho wanted him to feel better, and Mingi was sure he would give Yunho anything he could ever want from him.

The look in his eyes back then, the mischievous sparkle when he had him at sword-point or checkmate, or the warmth when he praised him for being able to beat him when it was too obvious he let it happen, they made Mingi feel something. Something he hadn’t felt anywhere else, something that had been described to him hundreds of times on paper and out loud.

“But Mother, I don’t get it. All those things you said about love, I feel those with Prince Yunho more than any of the princesses I’ve met, I really like him and–“

“Only princesses like princes, Mingi. Not princes. Princes like princesses, and you are a prince, are you not? So you will turn around, rid your mind of the thought and never bring this up again.”

Little Mingi scrunched up his nose. Like all teenagers do when being told they can’t do something, he figured he would do exactly that no matter what anyone said – that being, in this case, loving Crown Prince of Choeya, Jeong Yunho.

“I think I’d rather be a princess, then.”

He had stormed out that day, prideful and stubborn as ever, and truthfully? He doesn’t regret it at all, not anymore. He spent enough years regretting it, crying himself to sleep over the parents who detested him and the boy who he could never have. He’s older now, wiser, and he knows better – if his parents would detest their son over who he fell in love with, is their love even worth anything anyway? Is it really love if it’s conditional? Hiding may feel safer, be safer, but he no longer wants to hide. He wants to be heard, seen, witnessed – maybe he foolishly hopes Yunho will catch wind of it and reach out to him. Or maybe it’s just been far too long since he’s got to truly make a scene.

What better way to prove that than wearing the prince’s dress to the gala? Mingi doesn’t know you well, but from what little he’s gathered from rumours and from your letter, he decides he likes you. Maybe he just likes the idea of you, considering you’ve never met, but he has a good feeling about you. Someone kind enough to make him a dress, but someone so bold, even bolder than him, daring to make such a statement to be who they are… it’s hard not to admire such gall. He wants to be more like you, he decides. Playing princess was a good start, but he needs to make a bigger statement. He needs to be louder, speaking over those speaking over him, instead of playing docile in his defeat – and that starts with you, the gala, and this dress.

He isn’t used to sneaking around much, but he figures now is a good time as any to start – his palms are sweaty and everything feels twitchy as he tries to duck through the castle unnoticed, and he stutters when he tries to explain to the tailor he chose what he wants fitted and that he’d pay for her silence, but he does it in the end, and the thrill it gives him is exhilarating.

It helps that the dress is absolutely gorgeous, too. He doesn’t stop grinning the whole time the tailor takes his measurements, unable to hide his excitement at the thought of wearing it – and meeting you. Talking with you, just for a night, for once in his life since that fateful day feeling normal around someone else – he briefly wonders if his parents would allow him to wed you, considering how people still see you as a princess, and what better fit for the man that calls himself a princess than the “woman” who calls himself a prince?

No, no, he’s getting ahead of himself, he realises, blushing at how far that thought had gotten. It has been years since he’s genuinely gotten to consider the possibility of a romance, but he figures he should slow down until he meets you at the very least. Just one step at a time. He takes in a deep breath, takes out a fresh sheet of parchment, and grabs his trusty quill.

Dear Your Royal Highness, Prince of Uchia, it was lovely to hear from you.

I will not hide the truth from you; I have been intrigued with your character ever since I first heard of the wayward princess calling himself a prince. I wondered if maybe, you were just like me? Well, I do not call myself a Princess as a woman, but simply as an act of defiance, so I suppose we’re different there, but I will happily go along with your plan of defiance and take this gift with much gratitude.

I wasn’t completely dreading this gala, not really – I am trusting you with this secret, but I was mostly just excited to meet Prince Yunho again. I have not seen him in many years. I do not know if he is like us – we had some sort of connection when we met, but before I could ask him if he felt the same, we were torn apart. I have not been able to see him since. Now, however, I am counting down every day towards this party – I can barely conceal my excitement to meet you. For the first time, it feels like someone understands me.

I sent the garment to my tailor the first thing after reading your letter. It’s gorgeous, I’m honoured to have such a gift – but that would leave you without a custom piece for the gala, and I could not accept that. With this letter I am sending you a suit made especially for you, although without your measurements, it likely won’t fit, so I followed your lead and included some fabric as well. I hope it’s to your liking; I may have been presumptuous as well, and made our outfits match.

I am aware of how this may come off. But I figured I will ask anyway if you would be my date at the gala. I think we would make a good pair. I hope you think so, too.

I doubt any reply will arrive before the gala anymore, though, so I suppose I will hear your response in person. It’s alright if you say no. I look forward to meeting you regardless.

Sincerely,

His Royal Highness, Princess Mingi of Reuji.

The night of the gala.

As much as you wished to reply to Mingi’s letter, he was right – it wouldn’t reach his kingdom in time. The suit he sent you was positively beautiful, the perfect partner piece to the dress you sent him, in the same style but opposite colours – black and red to match his ivory and pink, the embroidered patterns and glittering jewels mirroring the dress’s patterns. Truly the most stunning garment you had ever laid your eyes on, and all the more meaningful that he had you in mind when designing it.

The tailor certainly had questions, but nothing the right price couldn’t dissuade – after all, a humble but talented tailor that didn’t work for the castle always dreamed of taking work for royals, who could possibly refuse? Even if it was for the estranged prince.

Since, you had kept it hidden somewhere your mother nor the servants would ever find it – with the stableboy that had won your sister’s heart. You gave him your blessings in private, and he wished you well in turn.

Everything led up to now. All the secret letters, the gowns, the planning, the sneaking around and colluding with your sister to buy enough time to change into the suit and make it to the carriage before your mother could see you. The stableboy ended up a more valuable asset to your plan than initially thought, getting you your own carriage to sneak into, your sister feeding your mother the fib of leaving early to meet the Crown Prince and win his heart.

You’d certainly try, just for the hell of it – just to humiliate your kingdom further when you try to court him as a prince. You wonder how he would react to that, though you suppose it didn’t seem like it would be the first time Prince Yunho was courted by a prince.

The Choeyan Royal Family run the gala, the richest and most influential of the three powers, and when you arrive at the castle it sure does not disappoint. Tall stone spires shrouded in ivy and flowers, and yet – not a single stone brick out of place, not a tendril or vine out of place, falling perfectly symmetrically  on the sides of every archway and fireflies dancing around them. How such a feat was achieved is beyond you, but you marvel at the view nonetheless.

Stepping inside, the interior is just as impressive as the exterior, polished marble floors and stairs, art on every available surface, and the biggest jewelled chandelier you’ve ever seen above your head. It speaks louder than words of the success Choeya has accumulated, just comparing it to the castle back in Uchia; you start to see why everyone is so hellbent on marrying into the Choeyan lineage. It would probably help your kingdom immensely if you could actually succeed in what you told the Queen you would do, the allyship could bring so much good to your people, the people you swore to protect – but what have those people done to protect you? Perhaps there is only so much a commoner can do against the word of a Queen, but either way you don’t feel too bad about burning the bridge between you and Choeya tonight. You’d be exiled by morning anyway, and your sister is determined on her stableboy.

You’re gazing up at the kaleidoscope of lights in wonder when you hear a deep voice clear itself behind you, and only then do you notice the strange looks of the guests around you – for once, not fixated on you, but rather, behind you.

Turning around with curiosity tugging at the corners of your lips, you set your sights on a tall, broad figure with soft eyes and plush lips, donning a bejewelled prince’s crown and the very dress you ordered yourself, the silky fabric hugging his waist then flowing all the way to the ground and trailing behind him. He’s curled into himself nervously, offering you a shy smile as he curtseys low, polite, then meets your eyes again, brimming with excitement.

“Princess Mingi,” you breathe out, smile widening. You almost forget to bow in response, about to curtsey back out of habit before you realised that you are not, in fact, being forced to wear a dress this time. You still wear the tiara of your birthright, but it’s liberating, proudly presenting yourself as you are and defying the rules like this, and you notice the way Mingi straightens up a little when you stand back up with your shoulders set and head held high – partially to look up at him towering over you, partially because of your newfound confidence from your expression and your absolutely stunning date. “My answer is yes; I would love to be your date tonight. You look ethereal.”

“And you look incredibly handsome.” His voice is far deeper than you expected, and any jealousy it would make you feel is washed away by how it turns your knees to jelly. He can’t stop smiling, wide and gummy and showing too much teeth for any royal to consider it proper, but it takes your breath away. “I confess I have been thinking about this moment non-stop since I received your letter.”

“And? How is it, now that it’s happening?” You prompt, absolutely buzzing at just the sight of him. Him, a man, a princess, a Reujian, in a traditional Uchian dress, and positively thrilled about it.

“Exciting.” he admits, taking a step closer to you. He offers you his arm and pausing in confusion earns you a raised brow. “What is it? Surely you’re not bothered by the gendered etiquette we use? If you’d prefer, I can take your arm instead, but…”

He giggles softly, gently placing his large hand atop your head, slowly enough for you to move away if you so wished. You don’t.

“Yeah,” you chuckle in response, getting his message loud and clear. “Suppose I’m a little too short for that to work well, huh?”

The Princess shrugs, and you’re amazed at how he manages to seem both awkward and easy-going at the same time. “We could try-“

“No worry,” you insist, stepping closer to him and taking his arm gracefully, just happy to have a point of contact between you. Enough to ground you, remind yourself that this is real, he is real, and live in the moment for the night while you still can. “I’m fine with this. You’re right, I’m sick of people telling people what a prince or princess can or can’t do.”

Mingi seems pleased with that, whisking you past the gaggle of whispering party guests and onto the dance floor, long before anyone else has started dancing, the live orchestra only just getting started – but that doesn’t deter him, gloved hands finding your shoulder and your hand, yours taking his waist and following his lead. You’ve never danced the gentleman’s part in a ballroom dance with a partner before, only watched longingly and tried to learn the steps by yourself in the privacy of your room, but Mingi is a natural dancer. He leads you through it, twirling himself around and giggling bashfully at how the dress twirls around with him, and when you pull him back in, chest to chest, his breath hitches at the proximity. You can feel him this close, feel his pounding heartbeat, and it’s almost like you can feel everything he’s feeling like this, too. Like you’re on the same page, like he can feel you too – he’s a complete stranger, yet you feel closer to him in this moment than anyone you have ever known.

“You’re quite the talented dancer,” you hum, getting more in the rhythm of it – you truthfully expected to be more bothered with all the scornful eyes boring into your skull, more spiteful, but all you could focus on was the man right in front of you in all his beauty and natural talent, swaying with your arms around him. “You do this kind of ballroom dancing often?”

“Kind of,” he replies a little bashfully, “Never with a partner. I just watched a lot, practiced with my hat stand in my room…”

“Me too!” You gasp, grinning at the mirrored experience. “Well, not with a hat stand, just the air – I’m not sure which is more amusing, though.”

Mingi’s stare bores into you in place of a reply, and at first you think it’s something you said, until he blinks twice and shakes his head, like he’s snapping himself out of it. “Apologies,” he mutters quickly, “But your smile is simply breathtaking, I find myself at a loss for words. Um– right, the dance– I think the hat stand is more embarrassing, personally. You can laugh if you want, I don’t mind.”

How he manages to seem so shy and confident at the same time is beyond you, but if there’s one thing that you’re sure of it’s that you find it incredibly charming. As far as first impressions go, he’s definitely won the grand prize in your book. When was the last time someone has treated you with such casual attention? Made you feel so normal?

“A charmer, are we?” You tease, but you can’t hide the way you only smile wider at his sweet words. “I do hope I’m at least more entertaining of a dance partner than a hat stand, though.”

“Of course!” Mingi exclaims, as if he thinks you would be genuinely threatened by the dancing abilities of a hat stand. “You’re very graceful.”

“Thanks,” you chuckle, leaning forward to rest your head on his chest. You’re completely relaxed, the heavy weight of anticipation from earlier melting away in Mingi’s arms. It feels right, not just because of your similarities in status and identity, but simply the warmth he regards you with that only makes you want to return it tenfold. Is this what falling in love feels like? You never thought it could happen so quickly, that being merely a thing of fairy tales, but you can’t deny the magnetism between you that has nothing to do with him being a boy princess or you being a prince without the parts. If Mingi had shown up in a suit, addressed as a prince, and still treated you the same, you don’t doubt you would’ve been just as enamoured, and that isn’t as alarming as you thought it’d be. It feels… normal. Like it only makes sense that you’re already falling for a man like Song Mingi, like it is inevitable.

You wonder how this must look from the outside – the two outcasted royal children, dancing together, wearing the ‘wrong’ things, dancing the ‘wrong’ way, sharing what seems like an intimate moment in the middle of the dance floor. It’s only now that you’re not mesmerised by Mingi’s features and hear the pounding of his heartbeat – from you or from all the negative attention, you aren’t sure – does the sick sense of satisfaction finally start creeping in, childishly poking your tongue out at an old woman giving you a particularly scandalised look and giggling at how she immediately turns away and starts muttering something to her husband.

“What are you giggling at, my prince?” he asks, and you feel it rumbling in his chest with your head laid there. It’s grounding, and you find yourself dreading letting go with each passing moment.

You tilt your head in the direction of the judgemental old lady with a scoff. “Look at them, princess. They’re quivering in their boots at the very sight of us. We disgust them.”

Mingi’s grip on your shoulder and hand tighten, steering you in the other direction almost protectively. “Don’t look at them, then.” He moves his hand from your shoulder to your chin, lightly tilting your face up to meet his. “Just look at me.”

“That wasn’t a complaint.” His lips fall into a surprised ‘o’, which is almost as endearing as finding out he practiced dancing with a hat stand. “We disgust them, and that feels good. If being ourselves makes their blood boil, then I hope they keep boiling until it scalds their very skin. Is it not satisfying?”

“Why would it be satisfying?” Mingi asks quietly, not able to meet the crowd’s gazes for too long, even with more couples making their way to the dance floor, he can’t escape all the eyes on him. “What’s satisfying about knowing your very being is repulsive?”

“Repulsive to them,” you remind him, your turn to cup his face and pull his attention away from the bystanders. “The same people who make our lives so difficult. The kind of people that are so averse to anything that isn’t them that they have to be hateful… they deserve to be repulsed, I think. So if we’re so repulsive, I will take pride in it, as I have no interest in earning the approval of those who don’t deserve my effort. Is that not why you became a princess?”

Mingi gnaws on the inside of his cheek. “I became a princess as an act of teenage rebellion. I stuck with it to prove a point but – while I refuse to feel shame about it, I don’t think I’ve ever been truly proud, not really. Not until I wore this dress, I think. Not until I met you.” He smiles, and when he looks back at the disapproval around him, he doesn’t shy away. “You’re right. They don’t deserve my effort to be palatable. I hope they boil in their misery, too.”

You can hear what they’re saying about you. Uncouth, unheard of, unnatural – who allowed them to sully their kingdom’s names like this? Who do they think they are? There is something wrong with them. They’re multiplying. Keep them away from the children!

In truth, despite the front you would wear as much as you could, those words always did hurt, but within Mingi’s warm embrace, they ricocheted right off you. After all, you finally had proof they were wrong – you’re not the only different one out there. You have someone.

Your little reverie is shattered by the shrill voice of your mother crying out the name you abandoned, shoving past party guests to get to you two in the centre – and when she sees you, the chalice of wine she was carrying slips from her grasp and clatters to the ground.

“What is the meaning of this?” she demands, anger boiling over the edges and cascading down to her trembling fists. “I told you young lady, you had one chance, and you were to court the Crown Prince–“

“Man,” Mingi interrupts, and the Queen whips up to glare at him, appalled at his nerve to cut her off.

“Who do you think you are, boy–“

“Young man,” Mingi corrects calmly, “Not young lady.”

You’ve stopped dancing now, so when your mother crosses the line of your personal space and pulls you off Mingi rather ungracefully and steps up to him rather threateningly, Mingi takes a step back.

“You don’t tell me how to speak to my own daughter, you miserable crossdresser. Now get out of my sight.”

Mingi briefly makes eye contact with you, uncertain, and you’re not sure what he sees in your expression – you’re not sure if you’re pleading for him to stop or keep going, frozen under the pressure – but he seems to find his answer there, turning back to the Queen.

“Son.”

“Guards!” she bellows, calling the attention of everyone who wasn’t already staring uncomfortably at the altercation, even the members of the orchestra quieting in caution. “Get this man out of here, he is disrespecting the royal family–“

“He is the royal family,” the nearest guard says slowly, stepping forward carefully. “With all due respects, Your Majesty, you are not the only royals in attendance. We can only take orders from Choeyan royalty.”

She’s fuming, which would usually strike a chord of fear in you – today instead it’s glee. You have never seen your mother look so powerless.

You try to make a break for it with the Princess while she’s distracted arguing with the guard, but she catches your arm, giving you one of the most furious glares you’ve ever seen from her – and you’ve seen a lot of furious glares from her.

“Yes, mother?” you ask as daintily as you can, wearing a saccharine smile you were sure her and everyone else spectating could see was as genuine as thieves’ gold.

“You. Said,” she starts slowly, voice shaking in her desperate attempt to not start a screaming match in the middle of a gala between three kingdoms, “that you would wear a dress and court the Crown Prince–“

“I promised I would get the seamstress to make me a dress, not that I would wear it.” You grasp Mingi’s hand, pulling him back to your side. “Isn’t it gorgeous? I think it suits his long legs better than mine“ – she scowls your birth name again, but you continue without paying her any mind – “and I’ve yet to see the Crown Prince. I was just sharing a dance with a princess, since when was that disallowed?”

“That is no real princess,” the Queen spits, glaring directly at him. “That’s a prince playing dress-up.”

“No, I’m the prince playing dress-up whenever I put on your silly dresses. But you’re right,” you add on the end before she can continue, earning Mingi a shocked tilt of his head in your direction, “I have a Crown Prince to court. Guards, do you know where his Highness, Prince Yunho is?”

The Choeyan guards point you towards the refreshments table before your mother could get another word in, and you tug Mingi along into the sea of people without giving her the chance to, weaving in and out of as many circles of people as you could to shake her off your tail. It works rather smoothly, her continually being stopped by all sorts of nobles trying to get in an important word with Her Majesty herself.

As it turns out, finding Prince Yunho wasn’t very hard – not just from his extravagant crown, but much like the Princess, he towered over most of the crowd around him, standing tall and regal, the very image of princely masculinity – everything you wanted to be, everything the world wanted Mingi to be. You have never been more ready to publicly make a fool of yourself.

Waltzing right up to him rather determinedly, the Crown Prince notices you right away, and only a split second later, your company. He immediately loses the remaining words in whatever sentence he was saying to a group of noblewomen next to him, murmuring a brief apology to them before taking long strides to meet you both.

“Mingi.” His eyes linger on the Princess, then flicker to you. “And- you must be the Prince of Uchia?”

You bow before him, giving him a cheeky wink on your way back up. “That’d be correct. It’s an honour to meet you, your Highness.”

“You as well, I’ve heard a lot about you. You look amazing tonight. And…” He turns to Mingi expectantly.

Mingi seems torn on whether to bow, curtsey, or crush his old friend in a hug, but when he fumbles with his words for a second too long, Yunho beats him to it, pulling him into an embrace that has the partygoers all around you gasping in astonishment. You wish they could just turn around and not scrutinize every action any of you made, but Yunho nor Mingi seemed to pay them any mind.

“I thought I’d never get to see you again.”

Mingi is frozen completely still, but it’s no brief embrace, either – Yunho stays there until Mingi melts into his touch and carefully hugs him back, burying his face in his shoulder. “Yunho… I missed you too.”

They stay there for a moment longer before Yunho finally pulls back, beaming brighter than all the crystalline lighting hanging above you. “You’ve– You’ve grown taller! More handsome, too.”

Nothing could stop the flush colouring Mingi’s cheeks and ears at that, turning away at the intensity of looking at him – only to settle his gaze on your knowing smirk, which only deepens the shade of scarlet adorning his face. Seeing him so flustered is a real treat, and you only wish you could have had more time with him before reuniting him with the man he obviously still has feelings for.

It doesn’t upset you though, not really. You’re happy for him, and you’re happy you at least got to be his date for the night. It’s a night you’re sure you will never forget, and you’re immensely grateful to him for it.

“U-Um,” he pauses to clear his throat, gathering his courage. “You too. Both the taller and more handsome parts. It’s really… been a while, hasn’t it? Uh– the Prince has something to say, though, before we catch up.”

“Huh?” He nudges you forward, and it takes a second for what he’s expecting you to do to click. Oh. Right, the favour for your sister, the promise you made your mother – courting the Crown Prince. It’s now or never; time to throw this party into chaos the three kingdoms will be talking about for years to come. The cataclysm of your life and possibly the future of Uchia as you know it.

Whirling back around to Yunho with your most bedazzling smile, hyperaware of the noblewomen that were staring daggers at you, you ask him.

“Prince Yunho of Choeya, are you interested in men?”

The gasps you get in response are louder than all the previous ones you’d heard that night, the most shocked, the most scandalised. Exactly what you wanted to hear – exile be damned, the Queen would never recover from this. Her entire family name would never recover from this, and that is precisely the legacy you intend to leave, for your sister’s sake and your own spite.

Mingi evidently did not expect you to be so forward with your approach, jaw hanging open and eyes flitting between you and Yunho in disbelief – but you don’t miss the way they linger on Yunho longer, bated breath waiting for his response. Yunho seems equally taken aback, glancing not just you and Mingi, but all the party guests around you and their looks of varying degrees of disapproval, all centred on you two. Not him.

Your mother finally finds you among the sea of people – suppose all she had to do was follow the condemning glares and muttering – and steps between you and the Crown Prince, plastering on the fakest of apologetic smiles you know are exclusively for the public. A well-rehearsed façade that speaks volumes to the commonness of her insincerity.

“Sincerest apologies for my daughter’s outlandish behaviour, I assure you she is just–“

“Yes, I do like men, actually.”

The orchestra stops completely.

He didn’t even say it that loud but somehow the entire castle seemed to hear, everyone falling silent with surprising quickness, and for once, your mother is truly, genuinely, speechless. Possibly the most genuine thing she’s ever been.

Yunho grins, that same beaming grin he wore when he met you and Mingi again. He loops a strong arm around each of you possessively, standing tall and with his head held high in defiance – in direct contrast to how Mingi shrinks into his side, bracing for the metaphorical impact. You though, you gawk at him in amazement, clearly expecting some sort of negative response, a conflict and a swift exit to leave him with Mingi – but you can’t say you aren’t pleased with this turn of events.

“These two? They’re with me. If you lay your eyes on them, let it be with respect.”

Oh, you are definitely pleased with this turn of events.

You can’t believe your eyes; the way with just a few sentences, all the looks on the crowd’s faces changed, brows unfurrowing and looking at you with a new curiosity and intrigue rather than warped in distaste – so quickly? So soon? Is that the power of the Crown Prince, the only suitable heir to the most powerful throne out of three kingdoms while the King is rumoured to be on his deathbed – a lifetime of prejudice, gone with just a few words?

Upon closer examination, you realise what’s written on everyone’s faces is hardly awe, but fear. A special kind of fear, a kind of fear you know – the fear of doing something wrong. The fear of stepping a single toe out of line, and suffering consequences, whether it be reputation, possessions, or worse.

Yes, that is the true power of the Crown Prince of Choeya.

“Well? Were we not in the middle of a party?” Yunho questions loudly, clear voice ringing through the castle and just challenging anyone to step up to him. “Go on, start the music again, dance, mingle. There is nothing for you to see here.”

Just when you think people will finally do exactly that, Yunho decides he isn’t done with his spectacle. He tugs the two of you closer, earning him a gasp from Mingi which he quickly covers with his lips, a kiss that lingers, his eyes half open to glare at whoever was bold enough to keep staring, and Mingi hasn’t even caught his breath before Yunho pulls away and leans down to kiss you.

His lips are soft, warm.

It’s the only thing your brain can process with it whirling so wildly, and it’s over as soon as it starts, the only proof that it happened being the lingering warmth on your lips and the way the partygoers finally stop blankly staring and hustle to move away and avoid eye contact. They can’t look, but they can’t not look either, sneaking stunned looks in your direction before quickly looking away as soon as Yunho even so much as blinks at them.

“Come on,” Yunho insists, breaking the shocked silence between the three of you, and tugging you away towards the stairs.

“Where- Where are we going?” You manage to get out, finally coming to your senses enough to form words again, but the Crown Prince’s pace only quickens. With no idea what to think of any of it, your words are hardly in protest, hurrying along to keep up with him. “What about your father, what will he think?”

“Have you seen him all night? The rumours are true, he’s bedridden with illness and has been for a while now. I am running the kingdom in his stead.” At the top of the spiral staircase, he tugs you down a corridor and around a corner, you and Mingi barely able to exchange bewildered glances as you’re dragged along. He speaks of his father’s illness so casually, to foreign powers no less – such would be considered weakness by any other member of the royal court. Just how much is he risking be being so open with you two – how much is he risking by pulling the stunt he just did?

“Where am I taking you? Away from that stuffy party, and those stuffy people, all of it. I thought it’d be refreshing, having people from other walks of life over to mingle and gain new perspectives on the world – but all anyone wants to gain is power and status at the cost of others. The only breaths of fresh air in this godforsaken palace right now, are you.”

A couple more staircases later, the three of you finally end up on a balcony, high above the party beneath you, and Prince Yunho finally lets go of your hands with a sigh, leaning back on the stone railing. He gives you the most sheepish look you’ve seen from him all night, and it’s uncharacteristically cute for how charismatic he had been the rest of the night.

“Apologies,” he says at last, knowing the two of you were likely waiting on him to explain, well, everything. What this means. Whatever it means. “I got carried away trying to make a statement. I think you two do it better, though.”

Mingi finally speaks up, carefully leaning on the railing next to him. “Is that all that was, then? A show?”

He’s hopeful, it’s written all over his face all the way down to the way his hands can’t keep still, rubbing the details on his dress mindlessly, the way he’s practically holding his breath. He must have been waiting for this for a long time. There is so much left unresolved between the two, and here you are, spectating.

“Should I go?” You ask awkwardly, not wanting to impose on their reunion, but Yunho grabs your wrist as you turn to leave.

“No,” he assures firmly, not leaving any room for doubt in his voice. “Stay.”

“Okay.”

Mingi gulps. Yunho stares at the ground and bites his lip, and the palpable tension is driving you insane a lot quicker than you have the patience for.

“Oh just say it out loud already, you’ve been in love since you were boys! What do you need me here for?!”

You realise Yunho’s grasp on your wrist never loosened, only gripping firmer at your outburst, abruptly tugging you forward before you could turn away again. You’re close, intimidatingly so, and you almost think he’s going to kiss you again, but he doesn’t. From up close you get to examine every detail of his perfectly sculpted face while he waits for – whatever it is he’s waiting for, whatever it is he’s looking for in your eyes.

He’s beautiful, you think. Too beautiful for a world like this. Just like Mingi.

“You’re right,” he admits, breath fanning over your face, looking at you and not Mingi. You’re not sure why he isn’t looking at Mingi when he says this. “But you… you’re incredible. You and everything you stand for. The courage you had, coming up to me like you did tonight.”

You can’t help but shy under the praise, and the way he says it with all seriousness. The way he says it after outright confessing his feelings for Mingi, as if the two facts had equal importance. Your heart quickens at the implications. “Oh… wow. Thank you.”

“I want to get to know you more,” he continues, then finally turns to Mingi, gently taking his hand. Cautiously, unlike his unrivalled bravado from earlier. “And… I get the feeling our Princess does too.”

“I– I do!” Mingi confirms, eagerly stepping forward and taking your remaining hand in his free one, joining the three of you together. “I didn’t think– I didn’t think there was a point in hoping for anything with Yunho. But you…” The warm flush returns to his cheeks under the torchlight, but he doesn’t lose his resolve this time, squeezing your hand. “…I hoped about you. Since the day I got your letter. I hoped, if our kingdoms see me as a prince, and you as a princess, then maybe they would allow us to marry. And if they saw I was marrying a ‘princess’, I could be the heir again, and when its my turn to rule– I never wanted to rule, but if I did, I could fix all this. Make things right. It’s… presumptuous, I know, but–“

“You do tend to be presumptuous at times,” you cut in teasingly, recalling his letter. “But I’d be lying if I said I don’t find it endearing. Or that you’re wrong, really.”

He seems to light up at that; perhaps it’s just the reflection of the fireflies, but his eyes really do sparkle – and then he acknowledges Yunho again, deflating slightly. “I’m– I’m sorry.”

“Sorry for what? Wanting to marry him? I’m the last person who would fault you for following your heart, Mingi.” Yunho stands up straight, intertwining his fingers with each of yours. “But I have a better suggestion. Marry me instead.”

“But–“

“Both of you,” Yunho clarifies, looking at each of you in turn. “Your parents don’t need to approve. Not if you stay here with me. It’ll be a moon at most before my coronation, we could have our wedding shortly after, and no one will be able to refuse.”

“Both of us?” you echo in disbelief, but you can already feel the hope flaring up in your chest at his suggestion. Your history tells you to crush it, suppress it, stomp out that spark – but you don’t want to. Not this time, not when this spark is landing on kindling to a bonfire, hot as ever. “Can we even do that?”

The Crown Prince shrugs. “I’ll be King, then. We can do whatever we want.”

It’s overwhelming. Mingi is overwhelmed, too, so instead of saying anything he grabs Yunho by the collar and pulls him into a passionate kiss; one that is instantly returned with just as much fervour, but he doesn’t let go of your hand. Having the two of them kiss right in front of you is expectedly a little bit awkward, but it’s heart-warming, too, the way they smile into the kiss like they just can’t get enough of each other.

Yunho is hooked, leaning forward for more every time Mingi pulls back, breathlessly laughing against his lips, but he seems to remember your presence when you loosen your grip on his hand. He must like holding hands a lot, you think, based on the way he refuses to let either of you go, and you can’t say you mind. Not when his hands are so warm, soft from the lack of any menial labour, and large enough to completely envelop yours.

He pulls away finally, and to your surprise he pulls both his hands away too – only to hoist you up in his strong arms onto the cold stone of the balcony railing, pinning you there.

“Hey,” Mingi whines, leaning over him to try and shoulder his way into your space too, “He was my date first, and you already stole the first kiss from me.”

“Oh?” Yunho challenges, leaning in closer to you, “Don’t be so demanding to your future King, Mingi. What if I wanted to kiss him first?”

“Wait your turn! Are you seriously pulling rank with me right now–“

“How about we let him decide, hmm?” His breath fans over your face again and its blurring all your senses, but Mingi shoves his face next to his and suddenly those plump lips of his are so close, but he stops inches away to give you room to make your decision.

“You’re both dorks.”

Grabbing each of them by the back of their heads, you pull them in at the same time, faces pressing together as all three pairs of lips meet each other in the centre. It works out a lot better than you expected in the moment, not really expecting it to work at all, but being able to kiss them at the same time makes you unreasonably giddy.

It doesn’t last long, Yunho pulling away when Mingi hungrily presses for more and more of you, the two of you giggling at the little disgruntled noise Yunho makes from being pushed aside. You make quite the show out of it, wrapping your legs tightly around Mingi’s waist to hold him flush against you – and so you won’t fall backwards off the edge – and tangling your hands in his silken hair, careful not to knock off his crown but still pushing it off-center, giving Yunho the same cheeky side-eye he gave everyone else when he kissed Mingi that first time.

Yunho scoffs at this, crowding into your space behind Mingi to cage both of you there, kissing along Mingi’s neck and shoulder and making him shiver against you. Either Yunho knew what he was doing more than you and Mingi or he was really good at pretending, because the way his hands and lips dance across Mingi’s body and the reactions he pulls out of him seem practiced. That, or Mingi is just extremely sensitive to touch, and extremely vocal about it. You’re not sure which possibility has you more heated.

When you finally pull apart for air, you glance over your shoulder down at the party below, and luckily it doesn’t seem like anyone has spotted you in plain sight, storeys above them. “We should take this inside,” you murmur, caressing Yunho’s face, your lips brushing Mingi’s with every word they spoke. “Before someone sees us out here.”

“Let them see,” Mingi growls, pressing himself closer to you, holding you tight against him. “Let them look and ridicule like they always do, let their hatred boil over and know there is nothing they can do in their power to stop it.”

You laugh in his embrace, forehead to forehead. “Princess, I’m sure they’re boiling already, but I was more implying feeling a different kind of warmth beneath our skin that they frankly don’t deserve the luxury of spectating.”

Mingi freezes up at that and blushes wildly, Yunho chuckling against his neck and pressing a soft kiss there. “Glad we were on the same page, at least,” he hums before detaching himself from him, “Unless you’d rather do something else?”

“I-I’ve never–“ he swallows, peeling off of you and letting you hop down from the railing.

“That’s okay,” Yunho soothes, taking each of your hands again and squeezing them reassuringly. “I’ve had a bit more freedom as Crown Prince. If you want, we can wait, or I can lead you.”

It wouldn’t be your first time – there were some select few knights that were attractive enough for you to see past the fact that they saw you as a princess still – but it would certainly be the first time it ever meant anything to you, and your heart is nearly beating out of your chest at the mere thought.

“I want it,” Mingi whispers, his voice getting caught in his throat with just how badly he wants exactly that. “I want both of you.”

“Then both of us you will have, my princess.” Yunho accentuates his promise with a peck on the lips, and you find yourself uncharacteristically shy under their confidence.

“Even though I’m– my– I–“

“I don’t care,” Yunho says simply. “I’m not as attracted to body parts as I am to the people who own them. I’ve brought enough women to my bed to know what I’m doing in that regard, too.”

Ah. You nod slowly in understanding, then turn to Mingi, who just smiles back at you. “I just want to be as close to you as physically possible,” he murmurs, “A-And make you feel good, too. Everything else is irrelevant to me.”

“Thank you,” you breathe out, not exactly sure what you’re thanking them for. They’re already ushering you back inside to follow Yunho to his chambers by the time they tell you that you have nothing to be thanking them for.

Yunho can’t help but grin as soon as the door behind you clicks shut, a certain glint of playfulness and excitement – maybe the tiniest bit of cockiness, too – adorning his features. His room is expectedly spacious, colour-coordinated in navy and gold, but the first thing that catches your attention isn’t the impressive, jewel-encrusted swords mounted on the wall above his bed – but instead, his headboard. Detailed gold frame, taller than the headboards in you or your sister’s chambers, but most notably – glass. Reflective glass.

Crown Prince Yunho’s headboard is a mirror.

You and Mingi notice this at the same time, the curious raise of your brows earning you a chuckle from him.

“I do hope you aren’t that self-conscious,” he hums, the cheeky grin not leaving his face, “because I would love to let you see just how beautiful you are.”

Mingi nearly chokes on air, and if he could get any redder, he would; you almost think he is about to ask Yunho to cover it, or face away, but once he gets his breath back he’s excitedly tugging you towards the massive bed.

“Eager, are we, Princess?” Yunho teases, gently pushing Mingi – who is far too happy to be malleable for him – down onto the bed, remaining standing between his legs so he can look down at him and tilt his face upwards. “I think I like the view of you looking up to me like this.”

Mingi gulps. “I– I can’t say I dislike the view from here either.”

“Do you prefer being on the bottom, then?” you chime in, sauntering over and kneeling before him, resting an arm on the bed and your head on his thigh. Both you and Yunho smirk at the way he looks like his head is about to burst. “Or do you like the view of me on my knees for you, too?”

“You two are going to be the death of me,” he exhales. “Both, both is good, can one of you please just touch me already?”

You grab at his dress to bunch it up on his lap before Yunho grabs both of your wrists and moves to hold them in only one of his hands – a feat that already has you reeling – then uses them to tug you up to your feet, and then back on the bed beside Mingi.

“Rewards come to those who wait.” That playful energy has quickly warped into something darker, but equally as heart-pounding. He must notice this, because when he leans in closer and places your hands in your lap, he pushes you onto your back with only a single finger; you find yourself obeying him without a word. “And trust me, my prince, I can be very, very rewarding. So are you going to be patient for me, or are you going to defy your future King?”

“You really like being the one to call the shots, don’t you?” you blurt out, but you love the way he his tongue pokes the inside of his cheek at your attitude. “Just because you’re going to be in charge of a kingdom doesn’t mean you have to be in charge in the bedroom. What if I wanted a turn, hmm?”

Yunho is quick on the uptake, giving you that same smile that looks far less innocent now than it did out at the gala. “You have to earn that privilege, my prince. So I will ask you again – are you going to be good for me, or are you going to disobey?”

As tempting as it is to disobey him and see what he does next, Mingi looks at you like he’s pleading for you to say no so he can finally be touched already, and the offer of having your turn in charge at a later point is one you cannot refuse. You simply smile back at him, sweet as you can muster.

“I will be good today, sir.”

“Sir,” Yunho echoes, increasingly pleased with himself. “Yes, that’s more like it. Now, stay still. Mingi, climb on top of him.”

“I– Okay.” Mingi doesn’t look incredibly sure of himself, but he definitely is keen either way, the mattress dipping as he awkwardly climbs over you in his haste to please Yunho. His legs sit outside yours, his hands on either side of your head, and when he meets your eyes from his new angle, his eyes widen and his tongue darts out to wet his lips. “Oh. Hi.”

“Hi,” you parrot back at him with a giggle, craning your neck up to peck his lips once. “You’re very cute, you know that?”

He beams from above you, and it doesn’t matter that his head is blocking most of the light above you because his smile is positively radiant enough to outshine them all. “Thanks. I try.”

“Unbutton his shirt,” Yunho orders, tracing a hand down Mingi’s spine, and he is quick to follow, long fingers working at the buttons of your suit. Yunho gives you a warning look as you reach to help him, but you cut him off before he can say anything.

“I’m fine with it up to here,” you state clearly, holding the shirt at its most open without exposing your full chest, leaving a button done in the middle. “I would rather not take it off. After all, I look so good in it, wouldn’t it be a waste? Our Princess gifted me this, you know. Custom made.”

“You do look incredibly handsome in it,” Mingi confirms, returning your affectionate peck. “I’m glad you decided to wear it after all.”

“Very well. That’s still plenty of room to work with,” Yunho nods, understanding your deflection and not pushing it. As your buttons were coming undone, he was slowly undoing the lace on the back of Mingi’s gown, and he seems to finally notice it when Yunho grabs the fabric and starts pulling it down enough to reveal the expanse of his back. He leans over Mingi again, much like when he had him between the two of you and you against the railing, both of them caging you in place, to whisper right next to Mingi’s ear. “Go on then, kiss him. Mark up what’s ours, even, if you’re so inclined.”

The question is directed to you as much as it is to Mingi, checking your face over Mingi’s shoulder for any objection, but you meet him with a smile. “Go ahead, princess. Don’t be afraid to use teeth or leave them visibly.”

Mingi’s breath hitches, looking at you then glancing over his shoulder at Yunho. “Um. How do I…?”

“Oh, I was hoping you’d ask that,” Yunho chuckles, voice rumbling deep in his chest, before attaching his lips to Mingi’s neck and sucking, grazing his teeth against the skin before soothing it over with his tongue. The way he stiffens and gasps beneath him, eyes going wide, has you biting your lip in anticipation. “Like that. Keep doing it and it’ll leave quite the scandalous bruise. How do you like it?”

“I really like it.” He speaks in a hurry, not able to reply fast enough. “C-Can you do it again?”

Yunho nods towards you, breath still fanning over Mingi’s neck. “Try it on him, and I’ll mirror your every action.” Yunho obviously must have been planning this ever since he put you in this position, but you don’t get the chance to wonder how many steps he’s planned ahead.

Mingi wastes no time, diving down to kiss and suck at your neck far less timidly than you expected or were prepared for; the sound that leaves your lips has you heating up with embarrassment – among other things – but it’s mostly drowned out by the way Mingi moans against your skin at Yunho doing the very same to him. For how shy he seemed before, he’s surprisingly shameless; while you bite down on your lips to spare yourself just an ounce of dignity, Mingi keeps humming softly as he kisses down your neck to your chest, Yunho copying his movements down to his upper back.

Getting increasingly excited, he bites down at the soft spot right above your collarbone hard enough to make you whine and buck your hips on instinct, Mingi moaning again when Yunho bites his shoulder hard enough to leave a matching bite mark there.

“You two really like being bitten and marked up, don’t you?” Yunho muses aloud, delicate fingers trailing over the marks he and Mingi both left. “Princess, let me give you a tip.”

His tip isn’t verbal; instead he shifts back on the bed and grabs Mingi’s leg, shoving it between yours so his knee presses up at your core before resuming his position hovering over the both of you. “Now, try that again.”

You already know he must’ve noticed how your body reacted the first time, but you don’t try and fight it when Mingi bites you again and your hips move on their own accord, grinding on Mingi’s leg. He lets out a pleased grunt at the realisation, repeating the action but this time grabbing your hips and pulling you harder against him.

“Is that okay?”

“More than okay,” you breathe out shakily, clutching at his shoulders, conscious of leaving enough space for Yunho’s lips to roam still. “Th-Though, shouldn’t we be focusing on Mingi, sir? It’s his first time after all.”

Yunho clicks his tongue, pulling back to admire his handiwork. “And such, he likely won’t last long. Forgive me for being greedy, darlings, but I want to drag out this moment for as long as you’ll allow me. Besides,” he shoves Mingi’s head down back towards your chest, who obediently doesn’t even need to be told to put his mouth back to work, “He’s just so eager to please us. I hardly hear any complaints from him.”

“I have none, sir,” Mingi confirms, his cheek pressed to your rapid heartbeat, like he can’t break that contact between you even if he needs his mouth to speak. “I could kiss you all day.”

He shudders when Yunho’s hands venture lower, pushing up his dress then caressing his thighs up to his ass. “Have you touched yourself here before, Princess?”

“Ah– y-yes, I have.”

“Oh? Our sweet princess not so innocent after all? And tell me, love, what did you think about when you did?”

You have a feeling he already knows what the answer is gonna be, and the way Mingi dips his head to avoid your gaze confirms it.

“You, sir,” he mumbles, biting his lip as Yunho pressed his clothed hips forward to the curve of his ass. “Sometimes the guards, or this one really pretty advisor, but... it always came back to you.”

Yunho surges forward, pulling Mingi up back to his chest, one hand firmly holding his jaw and the other gripping his inner thigh. “That’s right. Because this ass is mine, isn’t it? Always has been.”

Mingi moans weakly in response, which is adorable considering Yunho didn’t even touch him where he’s aching for it. Wanting to join in on the fun, you grab Mingi’s frankly impressive length with both your hands and squeeze, him gasping and instinctively thirsting into your grip.

“In that case, his cock is mine,” you declare boldly, twisting your soft hands around the head, collecting the wetness gathering there and spreading it across him, drinking in every twitch and detail of his face as he melts under your touch. “How does that sound, mm?”

“Hmm...” Yunho pretends to think about it for a bit as he slips two long fingers into Mingi’s mouth, pressing down on his tongue. “Seems agreeable. Though I do expect you’d be kind enough to share if I so desired it?”

“Of course,” you hum in response, spitting on Mingi’s dick and laughing airily as he whimpers around Yunho’s fingers, effectively reduced to a mess before even reaching the main event. You suppose it’s to be expected, having never done this before, but it’s no less amusing to see just how quickly he crumbles. “I do expect the same, of course. Granted, I may not be able to claim him the same way you can, but I’m sure I can put my hands and tongue to good use.”

“Please,” Mingi whines, a string of saliva connecting his plump, kiss-swollen lips with Yunho’s fingers. “Stop teasing.”

“What did I say about patience, princess?”

He doesn’t get to reply, whatever he was going to say cut off with another sinful sound as Yunho’s fingers finally breached his rim. With the other man not holding him up anymore, he keens forward, bending over until he’s once more hovering over you with arms on either side of you.

He really, really likes kissing, evident in the way he brings your mouths together once more and moans against it as Yunho’s skilled fingers work him open. His lips stutter as the two of you work your hands on him in tandem, him barely able to kiss you back, haphazardly just trying to press his mouth to yours. You can’t keep your hands off him, running them along his sides, his thighs, his back, his neck, and not-too-gently grabbing a fistful of his hair at the back of his neck, greedily swallowing all the pretty noises he makes.

“I‐I'm ready,” Mingi parts from you – barely – to insist, but it only earns him a dark, rumbly chuckle from Yunho. “You can—”

“No, you’re not,” Yunho says simply, continuing his leisurely place and sliding in now a fourth finger.

“Just because it’s my first time doesn’t mean I don’t—”

“Trust me,” Yunho chuckles again, leaning down to kiss the top of his head, “You aren’t.”

He finally works his belt off and pants down with one hand, and it very quickly becomes apparent exactly why; Yunho is huge. Mingi is already impressive enough, much bigger and longer than your limited experience with the guards, but Yunho is thick and heavy, making his large hands looking normal-sized as he strokes himself.

“Oh.” Mingi swallows as he looks over his shoulder, seeing it for himself, eyes blowing wide. “Y-Yeah, suppose you’re right.”

The quick change of mind has you giggling lightly, unable to resist pecking him on the cheek, but he doesn’t even acknowledge it, staring directly at Yunho’s dick.

Yunho hesitates. “If it’s too much we can—”

“No, I want it,” Mingi affirms, pushing back onto his fingers with a newfound determination. “I really want it. I want you. Please.”

You’re content to just watch them and wait your turn, but Yunho seems to notice you resigning yourself to a spectating role, and pulls you back in. He leans over Mingi to kiss you sweetly, just long enough to acknowledge you there still before he pulls away from Mingi completely.

“Princess, on your back. We have to please our dear prince too, don’t we?”

Mingi nods so quickly and intensely his crown slips sideways on his head, which is a cutely messed look on him. You like it, but you have an idea of a look you’ll like even more, taking the crown from him and swapping it with the tiara atop yours. It compliments him far better than it does you, you think, and seeing him wearing what’s so uniquely yours has your heart swelling and the heat between your legs throbbing.

“A tiara fit for a princess, don’t you think?” you muse, and Yunho nods with a smile.

“It suits him. You should see yourself like this, Mingi. You’re a vision.”

He truly is, flushed and thoroughly tousled from his hair to his dress, his hard cock resting heavy on his stomach and dripping onto the expensive fabric. You only wish you could ask a court painter to preserve such a sight, but depending on how he feels about it, you wonder if that could actually be possible once Yunho becomes King.

Shockingly enough, Mingi doesn’t appear embarrassed at all, not this time. He’s now just staring at you, eyes glittering in the warm light of the bejewelled chandelier above, mouth hanging slightly agape.

“It’s perfect,” he murmurs, and you know he isn’t referring to your tiara on him. “So handsome… my perfect prince.”

“You’re right,” Yunho confirms assertively, nuzzling your neck and gently grazing his teeth along it. “Our perfect, pretty prince. Now it’s our time to thank you, hm? For changing both of our lives so drastically in the span one evening. Truly, Choeya will be lucky to have such a wilful King Consort.”

Mingi beams, almost in a daze. “I think we’re the luckiest to have such a perfect partner.”

“That we are.”

Now it’s your turn for your face to burn under the earnest praise and title, dumbstruck smile playing on your lips before you can do anything to stop it. For someone always running your mouth, it renders you positively speechless, and you’re hastily shedding your pants and undergarments to hover over Mingi in just your barely buttoned suit blazer. You’re about to tease him again at how responsive he is before your core has even touched him, but a chuckle from behind you informs you it was the work of Yunho’s long fingers once more.

“Relax yourself for me, princess, or this will be harder for you,” Yunho instructs once he’s satisfied with his prep, pressing his tip to Mingi’s quivering hole.

“I sure hope it’s hard for me,” he blurts out without thinking, and after a beat of silence, the three of you crack up into laughter at the same time. It’s silly, corny, and a little bit unfitting for the mood, but you find yourself endlessly endeared with his humour nonetheless, pressing more and more kisses to his face, neck and chest in between your giggles. “Sorry, couldn’t resist.”

“Good,” Yunho breathes out slowly, “I don’t want you to hold anything back from us.”

The drawn-out sound he makes at Yunho pushing into him proves he doesn’t plan on it, his body tensing beneath you before catching himself and taking a shaky breath in an attempt to relax.

“That’s it, my love,” you coo, lifting his tiara to stroke his hair softly as Yunho pushes in single inch at a time, giving Mingi plenty of time to adjust. “Just like that. You’re doing so well for us.”

Once fully sheathed, Yunho lets out a throaty groan that’s the first indication of his controlled façade beginning to crack, but he holds himself back from moving just yet.

“Fuck,” he growls, hands digging into your hips rather than Mingi’s as to not overwhelm him while he still gets used to the intrusion and giving you something to focus on in the meantime. “So good for me, princess, so good for us.”

Mingi’s face falls to the side, teeth digging into his bottom lip, but when he opens his eyes he’s met with his reflection staring back at him in crystal clarity, able to see just how thoroughly messed up he is already.

“Oh gods,” he breathes out, “I almost forgot about that. This is why it’s there, isn’t it?”

The wicked grin on Yunho’s face confirms his suspicions, the man still unmoving to give Mingi more space to breathe, but busying his hands with running them all over your body. “Quite the bright one, aren’t you? Yes, I like to make sure I don’t miss a single detail. After all…”

He spreads Mingi’s legs wider apart for a better view in the mirror, pulling out and pushing back in only the smallest amount, but it’s enough to make Mingi’s breath stutter.

“This way, you can see me inside you and you inside our prince at the same time.”

Mingi groans at the mere words, head rolling back on the sheets. “At the same time? Oh gods, if I die here, I’m dying a happy man.”

The two of you giggle at that, Yunho nodding at you to go ahead and sit down on Mingi already, so you wrap a hand around him and line him up to your entrance, sinking down on him incredibly slowly for both you and his sakes.

He’s so tense and wound up you can see it on just about every muscle on his body, and you don’t doubt he’s gripping Yunho like a vice with the way he’s taking deep, controlled breaths behind you. You appreciate the mirror now even more than you initially thought you would – looking to the side allows you to view the taller man situated at your back, and see the way he bottoms out into the man beneath you; the vision alone almost has you as dizzy as the stretch. You can only imagine what Yunho’s would feel like.

“How are you faring, darling?” you ask down at Mingi after a few moments, who’s finally starting to breathe normally again.

“I think… I’m good. You can move now, but maybe start one at a time…?”

Yunho takes his chance as soon as he hears it, his controlled demeanour crumbling under the sensation of Mingi wrapped so tightly around him, and starts very shallowly rocking his hips into him with a low grunt from the back of his throat. It’s a stark contrast to the almost melodious moan Mingi lets out in comparison, his deep baritone voice raising in pitch at the feeling, and it makes you clench around him on instinct despite sitting perfectly still.

“Ah– o-oh gods, that’s heavenly– ngh–!”

His cute, broken-up whines are music to your ears as Yunho steadily ups his pace until he’s no longer fucking just the tip of himself into the other man, but bottoming out completely with each thrust, the movement making Mingi shake enough to give you some sort of friction while waiting for your signal to move. It comes not long later with a desperate grab of your thighs, nails digging into the soft flesh and a broken out “Y-You can– you can– move…!” from the very overwhelmed princess.

Both Mingi and Yunho hiss at the same time when you finally lift yourself up and drop yourself back onto him, gasping at the fullness of how well he stretches you out, but the pleasure from it is white-hot. Repeating the movement again and again, you find both of them grabbing at you in an attempt to ground themselves, but it doesn’t seem to be working well – at least for Mingi, who has his head thrown back and eyes squeezed shut, body quivering with very thrust and bounce of your hips.

“You’re fucking huge, Mingi,” you moan through gritted teeth, savouring every drag of his generous length against your walls, “S–So fucking good, gods, fuck!”

“Quite the foul mouth you have on you, hmm?” Yunho teases, sticking two fingers in your mouth and turning your head towards the headboard mirror so you can see the way he smirks darkly at you while fucking Mingi still, his other hand intertwined with Mingi’s on the sheets. “One of these days I’ll have to clean it out myself, I think.”

You can’t do much but moan around his fingers and keep rolling your hips into Mingi’s, reaching down to rub at yourself to heighten the feeling of it all, but Mingi is quick to yelp and grab your waist with an almost startling strength.

“Wait– stop– hold on!” Mingi stammers, pulling you off him abruptly as both you and Yunho still to a complete halt, glancing down at him with wide eyes.

“Are you okay? Did I hurt you?” Yunho is the first to mutter, pulling out of him completely, but Mingi shakes his head, slumping back down on the bed and covering his face with an arm in embarrassment.

“Sorry. I was really about to come like that and it was just too fast.”

“Oh!” With a smile, you sigh in relief at the reassurance that it was okay, then giggle at how worked up he must be right now. You understand his embarrassment, but truthfully, it’s more complimentary than it is a letdown – you can’t resist teasing him for it, though. “That close so soon? My, my, what ever will we do with you?”

“Tease!” Mingi whines, muffled behind his arm, “It’s my first time, give me a break!”

Yunho chuckles, gently prying Mingi’s arm away. “That we will, princess, don’t worry. I know it must be a lot. Do you want one of us to stop?”

He frowns at that, pouty lips only making him look all the more irresistible. “But… I want to make you both feel good still.”

“Think you can try using your mouth?” you suggest helpfully, not minding to be the one giving it up if it means avoiding any further close calls – as alluring as the thought was, you didn’t want to risk any scares for later. You don’t expect Mingi to nod so eagerly, but he does, and before you can suggest to change positions, he’s already pulling you over his face by your thighs and keening up towards you.

“You’ll have to guide me a little,” he mumbles, “but I want to learn. A-And Yunho, you can… keep going. It feels really, really good.”

The Crown Prince didn’t need to be told twice for that one, repositioning himself to slide right back in and continue the pace where he left off, Mingi’s face instantly contorting into one of only the utmost pleasure. You slowly lower yourself to his waiting tongue with the gentle command to suck, a hand in his hair guiding him to finding your clit, and as soon as your body jolts in response he is relentless. Sloppy and uncoordinated by all means but with enough eagerness to more than make up for it, he holds you there and laps at you enthusiastically, the vibrations of his moans as Yunho continues to pound him sending all sorts of pleasurable waves through you.

“Keep fucking him like that, Yunho,” you pant, grinding against his tongue, “He moans so fucking pretty for us, doesn’t he?”

“The prettiest,” Yunho agrees, brows scrunched tight with tension and a thin sheen of sweat accumulating on his skin that only made him glow under the light of the chandelier. “He’s so fucking tight, too, fuck, if only you could feel this.”

You don’t get to linger on how much you wish you could do exactly that, because Mingi flicks his tongue in a way that has you crushing his head between your thighs, but his muffled groans sound like he’s more than happy to be there. With all the movement and violent jerking of your body, Mingi’s – your? – crown slips off your head, but Yunho’s reflexes are fast enough to catch it and prop it back on.

“A prince needs his crown,” he coos, slowing down to lean forward and kiss your temple while making eye contact in the mirror. Mingi whines pathetically at the change in pace, but Yunho only finds it amusing. “Aw, our sweet princess. Need to come?”

Mingi nods fervently – well, as much s he can from between your legs, so you lift yourself off his face to let him catch his breath. “P-Please, I’m so close!”

“Me too,” Yunho grunts, abruptly snapping his hips forward again and making Mingi cry out as the rapid pace from earlier resumes, the bed shaking in the onslaught of pleasure. Noticing your hesitancy to sit on Mingi’s face again, the princess looking far too blissed out and gone to be of any help right now, Yunho takes the initiative to pull your back to his chest and hold you with one arm, hand diving down to press and rub at your clit roughly. He’s hasty, but a lot more controlled than Mingi’s mouth was, and you find yourself struggling to stay upright if not for Yunho’s steady grip on you.

“Ohh fuck– you’re both so– ngh– I’m gonna– c–“

Mingi’s back arches off the mattress as his voice cuts out completely, writhing and thrashing about as his cock stains the under layers his dress with long ropes of white, over and over until he has no more left to give. The sight is ultimately what sends you over, moaning their names as your high finally crashes down on you, grinding down onto Yunho’s large hand to ride out the wave.

“Fuuuck,” Yunho growls, low and guttural with none of his cool composure left as he pulls out and frantically strokes himself to completion after holding back all this time, spurting his seed across your thighs. You and Mingi watch in the mirror with heavy breaths as he keeps bucking into his fist until he’s twitching from the overstimulation, then finally crumbles back down on his knees, panting.

He looks to the mirror at his side, eyes half-lidded and dark, cursing under his breath again at the vision before him; the two of you thoroughly messed up, sweaty, covered in come and with crowns crooked atop your heads, while he remains almost fully dressed and put together. He flashes you two a hazy smile.

“How about a bath?”

When you aren’t seen for the rest of the gala, no one says a word in protest. When you don’t take your carriage back to Uchia, they don’t wait for you. Neither do the Reujian carriages for Mingi, but neither of you have a problem with that.

When Yunho’s Coronation finally comes, you and Mingi have only seen the start of the beauties Choeya has to offer, from the perfectly sculpted face and body of its King to its beaches and rolling hills – Yunho insists he’ll take the two of you to their mountains someday, maybe he’ll even marry you up there – but you already know you’re going to love every part of it. The less beautiful parts of Choeya, Yunho has already been working hard to fix, getting your input on how to improve the country’s poorer regions and make transportation routes safer for merchants, and you know that things will quickly change under his rule as King.

When that large, jewel-encrusted crown finally is placed upon his head, Mingi slips his hand into yours as you stand by Yunho’s side; while he has yet to announce any plans of marriage to the  kingdom, it’s obvious that the three of you are in separable, and since have already been referred to as the King’s Consorts. While a part of you holds some bitterness at being given the respect you deserve only after being accepted by someone as powerful as a king, you bite that down to make the most of your newly gained privilege and acknowledge that it was your hard work and bravery that got you here in the first place. Almost as if he can read your mind, Mingi squeezes your hand as if to remind you that.

“I now present to you, His Majesty King Jeong Yunho of Choeya.”

The crowd cheers from beneath you, and you and Mingi clap for him too – he turns around and smiles at you from ear to ear, like the two of you make him happier than his coronation ever could – and then he turns back to his people.

“My first act as King is an important one,” he starts, projecting his voice to be heard as far as he can reach. “I hereby declare that anyone has the right to be whoever they want to be, and love whoever they want to love. Anyone who objects this can have a hasty escort to the dungeons.”

Your eyes grow hot with tears threatening to spill, almost unable to believe the dream you’re living in. Finally. Finally. With a quick glance you see Mingi much in the same boat, eyes glossy but unable to keep from smiling so wide his cheeks probably hurt. This is the freedom you’ve been praying for since you were a child, the freedom you had given up on long ago, but it’s here, it’s finally here, and it’s so much better than you could’ve possibly imagined – even with the barely concealed looks of discontent of some of the townspeople on the courtyard below. You couldn’t care less about them; things are changing now, and they’ll either change too, or spend the rest of their lives staring at iron bars.

Yunho turns back to gesture the two of you forward, taking one hand in each. “This is Princess Mingi of Reuji, now of Choeya. He is still a man and you will address him as such.”

He shies a little under the attention, but a reassuring nod from you makes him stand a little taller.

The King introduces you by your name, your real name, not the one your mother forced upon you, loud and clear. “He is also a man, and a prince, and you will refer to him as such.”

He releases your hands, only to reach into the deep pockets of his extravagant royal regalia, pulling out a small box and taking a step back – onto one knee. Opening the box, there are two rings that lie inside, fitted with the very same red and pink jewels from your gala attire. You and Mingi gasp at the same time.

“And I will be marrying them both, if they will have me,” he continues, voice steady and refusing to falter under all the eyes on him. “As they are the loves of my life, and I wish to have them ruling Choeya by my side. Will you—”

“Yes!”

You and Mingi cut him off at the same time, giggling quietly together at your own combined eagerness. Yunho gazes up at you with all the fondness of the world in his eyes, taking each of your hands and sliding the respective rings on and standing back to his full, impressive height, then giving your hand each a kiss.

“Together, we will bring Choeya to a brighter future,” Yunho promises, ending his speech – and with your whole heart, you believe him.

Any future is bright so long as Mingi and Yunho are in it with you.

Dearest Sister, Her Royal Highness, Princess of Uchia.

I miss you. How have you been? I heard the news about your upcoming coronation, congratulations. While the news of Mother’s sudden passing was most unfortunate, I do hope you don’t expect much grievance from me. She wasn’t much of a mother to you either, was she?

Times are changing now. I’m sure you’ve heard of Yunho’s coronation by now, I understand if any letter you may have sent simply hasn’t arrived yet. He proposed to both me and Mingi and we said yes. The three of us are going to get married in the Choeyan mountains later this year, and I would love for you to come. You can bring your stableboy, too. Will you marry him, now that you have the freedom to do so? Please do invite me to the wedding if so.

We hope to unite Choeya and Uchia with this marriage, then Reuji will have no choice but to follow suite. May I have your blessing as future Queen, dear sister? We will be able to be family still, and both our kingdoms shall prosper for generations to come.

I would also like to thank you once again for the kindness you offered me before the gala, even though I didn’t have to use it. With this letter I am sending gifts of my gratitude – please take them. You and your stableboy are always welcome in Choeya at any time.

I love you. Long live the future Queen.

Your Brother, His Royal Highness, King Consort of Choeya.

Dearest Brother, His Royal Highness, King Consort of Choeya.

The bitch is dead, you and I are now free. I shall see you at the wedding – whichever of ours comes first.

Long live the King.

With love,

Your Sister, Her Royal Highness, Queen of Uchia.

taglist: @absentcaryatid, @svnthpop, @the7thcrow, @syunderful, @mingirn

[tarobytez]

disability in the Six Of Crows Duology; an analysis of Kaz Brekker, Wylan Van Eck, and the fandom’s treatment of them.

****Note: I originally wrote this for a tiktok series, which im still going to do, but i wanted to post here as well bc tumblr is major contributor to what im going to talk about

CW: ableism, filicide, abuse

In the Six of Crows duology, Leigh Bardugo delicately subverts and melds harmful disability tropes into her narrative, unpacking them in a way that I, as a disabled person, found immensely refreshing and…. just brilliant. 

But what did you all do with that? Well, you fucked it up. Instead of critically looking at the characters, y’all just chose to be ableist. 

For the next few videos paragraphs im going to unpack disability theory (largely the stuff surrounding media, for obvious reasons) and how it relates to Six Of Crows and the characterization of Kaz Brekker and Wylan Van Eck, then how, despite their brilliant writing, y’all completely overlooked the actual text and continuously revert them to ableist cariactures.

Disclaimer: 1. Shocker - i am disabled. I have also extensively researched disability theory and am very active in the disabled community. Basically, I know my shit. 2. im going to be mad in these videos this analysis. Because the way y’all have been acting has been going on for a long ass time and im fuckin sick of it. I don’t give a shit about non-disabled feelings, die mad

Firstly, I’m going to discuss Kaz, his play on the stereotypical “mean cripple” trope and how Bardugo subverts it, his cane, and disabled rage. Then, I am going to discuss Wylan, the “inspiration porn” stereotype, caregivers / parents, and the social model of disability. Finally, I will then explain the problems in the fandom from my perspective as a disabled person, largely when it comes to wylan, bc yall cant leave that boy tf alone.

Kaz Brekker

Think of a character who uses a cane (obviously not Kaz). Now, are they evil, dubiously moral, or just an asshole in general? Because nearly example I can think of is: whether it be Lots’O from Toy Story, Lucius Malfoy, or even Scrooge and Mr.Gold from Once Upon A Time all have canes (the last two even having their canes appear less and less as they become better people)

The mean/evil cripple trope is far more common than you would think. Villains with different bodies are confined to the role of “evil”. To quote TV Tropes, who I think did a brilliant job on explaining it “The first is rooted in eugenics-based ideas linking disability or other physical deformities with a "natural" predisposition towards madness, criminality, vice, etc. The Rule of Symbolism is often at work here, since a "crippled" body can be used to represent a "crippled" soul — and indeed, a disabled villain is usually put in contrast to a morally upright and physically "perfect" hero. Whether consciously on the part of the writer or not, this can reinforce cultural ideas of disability making a person inherently inferior or negative, much in the same way the Sissy Villain or Depraved Homosexual trope associate sexual and gender nonconformity with evil. ”

Our introduction to Kaz affirms this notion of him being bad or morally bankrupt, with “Kaz Brekker didn’t need a reason”, etc. This mythologized version of himself, the “bastard of the barrel” actively fed into this misconception. But, as we the audience are privy to his inner thoughts, know that he is just a teenager like every other Crow. He is complex, his disability isn’t this tragic backstory, he just fell off a roof. It’s not his main motivation, nor does he curse revenge for making him a cripple - it is just another part of who he is. 

His cane (though the shows version fills me with rage but-) is an extension of Kaz - he fights with it, but it has a purpose. Another common thing in media is for canes to be simply accessories, but while Kaz’ cane is fashionable, it has purpose.

The quote “There was no part of him that was not broken, that had not healed wrong and there was no part of him that was not stronger for having been broken.” is so fucking powerful. Kaz does not want nor need a cure - its said in Crooked Kingdom that his leg could most likely be healed, but he chooses not to. Abled-bodied people tend to dismiss this thought as Kaz being stubborn but it shows a reality of acceptance of his disability that is just, so refreshing.

In chapter 22 of SOC, we see disabled rage done right - when he is called a cripple by the Fjerdan inmate, Kaz is pissed - the important detail being that he is pissed at the Fjerdan, at society for ableism, not blaming it on being disabled or wishing he could be normal. He takes action, dislocating the asshole’s shoulder and proving to him, and to a lesser extent, himself, that he is just as capable as anyone else, not in spite of, but because he is disabled. And that is the point of Kaz, harking back to the line that “there was no part of him that was not stronger for having been broken”. 

I cried on numerous occasions while reading the SOC duology, but the parts I highlighted in this section especially so. I, as many other disabled people do, have had a long and tumultuous relationship with our disability/es, and for many still struggle. But Kaz Brekker gave me an empowered disabled character who accepts themselves, and that means the world to me. 

Keeping that in mind, I hope you can understand why it hurts so much to disabled people when you either erase Kaz’s disability (whether through cosplay or fanfiction), or portray him as a “broken boy uwu”, especially implying that he would want a cure. That flies in the face of canon and is inherently fucking ableist. (if u think im mad wait until the next section)

Next, we have Wylan.  

Oh fucking boy. 

I love Wylan so fucking much, and y’all just do not seem to understand his character? Like at all? Since this is disability-centric, I’m not going to discuss how the intersection of his queerness also contributes to these issues, but trust me when I say it’s a contributing factor to what i'm going to say.

Wylan, motherfucking Van Eck. If you ableist pricks don’t take ur fucking hands off him right now im going to fight you. I see Wylan as a subversion another, and in my opinion more insidious stereotype pf disabled people - inspiration porn.

Cara Liebowitz in a 2015 article on the blog The Body Is Not An Apology explains in greater detail how inspiration porn is impactful in real life, but media is a major contributing factor to this reality. The technical definition is “the portrayal of people with disabilities as inspirational solely or in part on the basis of their disability” - but that does not cover it fully. 

Inspiration porn does lasting damage on the disabled community as it implies that disability is a negative that you need to “overcome” or “triumph” instead of something one can feel proud of. It exploits disabled people for the development of non-disabled people, and in media often the white male protagonist. Framing disability as inherently negative perpetuates ideals of eugenics and cures - see Autism $peaks’ “I Am Autism” ad. Inspiration porn is also incredibly patronizing as it implies that we cannot take care of ourselves, or do things like non-disabled people do. Because i stg some of you tend to think that we just sit around all day wishing we weren’t disabled. 

Another important theory ideal that is necessary when thinking about Wylan is the experience of feeling like a burden simply for needing help or accommodations. This is especially true when it comes to familial relationships, and internalized ableism.

The rhetoric that Wylan’s father drilled into his head, that he is “defective”, “a mistake”, and “needs to be corrected”, that he (Jan) was “cursed with a moron for a child” is a long held belief that disabled people hear relentlessly. And while many see Van Eck’s attempted murder of Wylan as “preposturous” and overall something that you would never think happens today - filicide (a parent murdering their child) is more common than you would like to believe. Without even mentioning the countless and often unreported deaths of disabled people due to lack of / insufficient / neglectful medical care, in a study on children who died from the result of household abuse, 40 of 42 of them (95%) were diagnosed with disabilities. Van Eck is not some caricature of ableist ideals - he is a real reflection on how many people and family members view disability. 

Circling back to how Wylan unpacks the inspiration porn trope - he is 3 dimensional, he is not only used to develop the other characters, he is just *chefs kiss* Leigh, imo, put so much love and care into the creation of Wylan and his story and character growth that is representative of a larger feeling in the disabled community. 

That being said, what you non-disabled motherfuckers have done to him.

The “haha Wylan can’t read” jokes aren’t and were not funny. Y’all literally boiled down everything Wylan is to him being dyslexic. And it’s like,,,, the only thing you can say about him. You ignore every other part of him other than his disability, and then mock him for it. There’s so much you can say about Wylan - simping for Jesper, being band kid and playing the fuckin flute, literally anything else. But no, you just chose to mock his disability, excellent fucking job!

Next up on “ableds stfu” - infantilization! y’all are so fucking condescending to Wylan, and treat him like a fucking toddler. And while partly it is due to his sexuality i think a larger portion is him being disabled. Its in the same vein of people who think that Wylan and Jesper are romantically one sided, and that Jesper only kind of liked Wylan, despite the canon evidence of him loving Wylan just as much. You all view him as a “smol bean”, who needs protecting, and care, when Wylan is the opposite of that. He is a fucking demolitions expert who suggested waking up sleeping men to kill them - what about that says “uwu”. You are treating Wylan as a burden to Jesper and the other Crows when he is an immensely valuable, fully autonomous disabled person - you all just view him as damaged. 

And before I get a comment saying that “uhhh Wylan isn’t real why do you care” while Wylan may not be real, how you all view him and treat him has real fucking impacts and informs how you treat people like me. If someone called me an “uwu baby boy” they’d get a fist square in the fucking jaw. Fiction informs how we perceive the world and y’all are making it super fucking clear how you see disabled people. 

Finally, I wanted to talk about how the social model of disability is portrayed through Wylan. For those who are unaware, the social model of disability contrasts the medical model, that views the disability itself as the problem, that needs to be cured, whereas the social model essentially boils down to creating an accommodating society, where disability acceptance and pride is the goal. And we see this with Wylan - he is able to manage his father’s estate, with Jesper’s assistance to help him read documents. And this is not out of pity or charity, but an act of love. It is not portrayed as this almighty act for Jesper to play saviour, just a given, which is incredibly important to show, especially for someone who has been abused by family for his disability like Wylan, that he is accepted. 

Yet, I still see people hold up Jesper on a pedestal for “putting up with” Wylan, as if loving a disabled person deserves a fucking pat on the back. It’s genuinely exhausting trying to engage with a work I love so much with a fandom that thinks so little of me and my community. It fucking shows. 

Overall, Leigh Bardugo as a disabled person wrote two incredibly meticulous and empowered disabled characters, and due to either lack of reading comprehension, ableism, or a quirky mix of both, the fandom has ignored canon and the experiences of disabled people for…. shits and giggles i guess. And yes, there are issues with the Grishaverse and disability representation - while I haven’t finished them yet so I do not have an opinion on it, people have been discussing issues in the KOS duology with ableist ideals. This mini series was no way indicative of the entire disabled experience, nor does it represent my entire view on the representation as a whole. These things need to be met critically in our community, and talked about with disabled voices at the forefront. For example, the limited perspective we get of Wylan and Kaz being both white men, does not account for a large portion of the disabled community and the intersection of multiple identities.

All-in-all, Critique media, but do not forget to also critique fandom spaces. Alternatively, just shut the fuck up :)

happy fucking disability pride month, ig

[worstloki]

Do y’all Loki apologists hate Thor or something and if so like why? Odin gaslit him too... Odin gaslit and girlbossed all of the nine realms lmao

Odin may have erased Hela and glorified/painted their past as more justified and peaceful than it was on Asgard but we're not shown him doing this to the other realms. for all we know he simply abandoned places like midgard because muspelheim and jotunheim still know Odin and hold grudges.

How to explain that specifically taking and raising Loki, Jotun, in a place that is explicitly xenophobic towards Jotuns would specifically be a specific thing pertaining to Loki which is a huge central thing shown in Thor 1 without calling you an idiot. Because it's not Thor's reaction to the lies that is important in Thor 3 even at the "end" of his "arc" in that film where he "realizes" the "truth" of their "history". But in Thor 1 Loki's is. It's a huge deal because it is literally King Laufey of Jotunheim, Loki's apparent biological father, that is the co-antagonist of the film and it is finding out he was not just adopted and lied to but was taken a political pawn and lost this use after finding out this fact, that drives the plot forward.

Thor is not shown finding out this truth. The other realms are not shown finding out any supposed truth about any supposed made-up history (I really doubt Odin cared to spread propaganda past Vanaheim tbh, but whatever).

Thor is not given false hope or misconceptions in gaining Asgard's throne because it is to be given to him. Thor has the support of loyal friends who will commit treason and die to save him. Thor, though also abused, was on the other end of things, where we're shown he is adored and given attention and is confident in his reckless decisions. Thor at the start of Thor 1 is loud and arrogant and brash and admittedly immature but part of that involves speaking over his brother in a way that wouldn't be short of abusive itself if it was long-standing, while Loki isn't shown arguing back or defending himself but shutting down and literally sinking into shadows until the vault scene where he finds out the truth of where he came from.

And Loki, admittedly, has a better grasp of how Asgard works. He finds out he's Jotun, that confirms he was taken at the end of the war, just like the Casket was. He asks why he was taken and upon being told he was an innocent child immediately knows that is not it. Knee-deep in Jotun blood, 'peaceful relations' are hardly that even now. He finds out he was adopted, he asks what purpose it was for. And he's right in saying there is one. He's constantly right about worst-case scenarios. (Compare that to Thor who is being dragged the opposite direction into calling Odin a wise king and superspendicular father. Because they were both abused, but Loki is the one who now must see himself as the monster that parents tell their children about at night.

"It all makes sense now. Why you favored Thor all these years."

And sure, don't take his word on this, it's his POV of things, of course it's skewed. Except he has yet to be wrong. Except Thor is the one shown with a weapon from the vault. Except Thor is the one who was chosen to be King. Except we see how Loki is treated and we see how he reacts.

Regardless, Loki feels, knows, that he was not treated equally to Thor, and if he was given the same opportunities he does not feel he was favoured the same way.

"Because no matter how much you claim to love me, you could never have a Frost Giant sitting on the Throne of Asgard!"

Whether or not objective (again, it's Loki's POV, it's how he sees things, and Loki is GOOD at seeing things) the line expresses his opinion on the entire matter. I don't call it apologism to say that he was hurt and reacted. Since that's. Literally what happened. It's not an excuse to say he was mistreated and went mentally off the rails in trying to prove himself worthy or whatever else bc he was abused, but it's a compelling reason that makes sense imo that he would attribute this to w h y he was never worthy and then went through so much villainous effort to prove he still could be useful.

Thor does not understand what Loki speaks of when they argue on 'imagined slights' because he somehow missed that Loki was being mistreated. Genuine mistake, perhaps, but it left Loki in a position where he was getting treated as dirt whereas Thor was put on a pedestal. Both not great situations, and you can't compare abuse, but Loki was additionally shown having to deal with fallout of leaving the situation while Thor 2 was the last time Thor seriously got to reconsider his relation with Odin as a being other than perfect. That conflict and Thor leaving adds a neat layer of depth to Thor's character in my opinion, not unlike what Loki gained at the end of Thor 1.

I can't speak for everyone, and certainly not for apologists since I don't consider myself one, but I don't hate Thor. Loki's suffering is just. not his fault. I don't blame either of them for what position the other was in. But Loki's problems are, on top of everything, things he was born with. Things he can't change and shouldn't have to but still sees as bad.

Also, Thor's redemption arc is great on it's own but not, in my opinion, as fleshed out as Loki's downfall in the same movie. it's not something specific to his identity that he's overcoming because those we're shown on Asgard are also arrogant! they're also into fighting and violence and acting superior! that's standardized Asgardian values for you babey! it's behavioural and stuff Thor can and does attempt to move on from! and then Loki comes along and he's trying to live up to these expectations that he wasn't ever going to be able to live up to because of who he was because whether or not Asgardian-ness is considered Valid In A Given Situation is dependent on Odin! The system of Righteous Judgement is flawed! It's why I blame Odin and Frigga for everything rather than either Thor or Loki, even though I see Thor and Loki as also having an abusive dynamic going for them!

To me Thor as 'the hero who gains humility' is in huge part unique because it occurs at the perfect time for Loki to be fallout damage. (And vice versa with Loki's arc!). Because Thor and Loki act as foils (is that the word?) in Thor 1 and take each other's positions by the end of the film, because Thor learns something was wrong about himself before, he knows something is wrong with his brother right now, even if the entire morality-of-killing discussion has no real part in their discussion.

Thor's own arc through Thor 1-3 means he's genuinely trying to be better, he's just. still working on it. And struggling to acknowledge the past is bad for reasons is difficult bc they were indoctrinated and unlearning stuff is hard. But it CAN be interpreted that way and I love to do so, because Thor being smart but not being self aware until he stops and contemplates things properly is >>> and v/ heroic imo.

Odin gaslights and girlbosses everyone but he does so to Loki far more specifically and about Loki's own identity. Thor gets gatekept about how he's not the firstborn child AND how his brother is adopted and Jotun, Loki gets being the third child PLUS that he's a different species specifically one Asgard doesn't like PLUS a son of Laufey who is literally an enemy king PLUS that he was originally taken as a political token PLUS that being raised as a prince of Asgard with a right to the throne was a lie PLUS even though they raised him they see what he really is as a negative thing and probably intended never to tell him because of it. Loki's downfall is basically showcased lmao.

They were both abused but not in the same way, they were both lied to but I don't consider it equivalent, they're different characters in and of themselves, psychology is up to interpretation, etc.

So whether or not someone dislikes Thor is literally people's choice but I don't particularly hate him, no, though I feel you were being rude in the way you've asked.

I do hate the MCU though so jot that down. So much wasted potential smh.

tldr: yeah odin girlbossed the nine realms. loki was in those nine realms. odin also personally girlbossed loki on top of that. sure thor would get caught in that too since he's closest to loki BU T that's not a central part of his narrative in any film now is it. no, it just serves a temporary 'oh no! ...anyways, moving on so we can fix this' role while Loki's lies stick around.

[mohluskiepedard]

Rating ATLA Characters literally only from what I’ve seen in fandom

or: posts that probably shouldn’t be on my writeblr except I don’t have a sideblog

the context here is it’s half midnight and I have never seen ATLA except I have opinions now apparently so here we go whoop de do- 

I’m also not actually rating them like numerically that’s too much work i’m just stating opinions I know I’m a fraud

AANG

- A child?  - A son?  - he is Baby. but also. he has had It Rough  - would make the updog joke - has unspeakable power or smth and everyone says he’s better than the Korra girl who comes after him but honestly tastes like sexism to me - doesn’t kill people because he’s like twelve, right? he’s like twelve so he refuses to kill people - I stan honestly - less twelve year olds should kill people - Some people say his name WRONG and they are BAD but i don’t actually know what the right way or the wrong way is so. have fun w that yall - lived in peace unTIL THE FIRE NATION ATTACKED 

KATARA

- She is also like twelve???  - Is everyone here twelve - Cortana?? Katana?? Catbug??  - She has good hair, - Her mother is dead??? her mother is dead n she has a brother but she cares about her mother being dead WAY more than him (or apparently the entire fandom??) - Badass - She seems soft. good. sweet - she’s a water breather or whatever??? her brother is NOT but he is a meme - I love her 

SOKKA

- NGL looks like a fuckboy  - The meme brother! does not do the water things, but he has an aXe???  - dates BAMF lady - ngl until I talked to my ATLA watching friend I thought he canonically dated Zuko  - kinda mad he doesn’t - I haven’t actually seen anything about him except like. in zuko ship posts and also Suki appreciation posts - joined the white lotus not-a-cult by accident???  - dark ATLA tumblr show me more Sokka posts - is his name prounounced the same way as Soccer or isn’t it I need to know - HIS FIRST GIRLFRIEND TURNED INTO THE MOON - (AND THAT’S ROUGH, BUDDY) - He and Suki are a good ship, but also, Sokka Has Two Hands

SUKI

- the BAMF herself - she says STOP in that photo but also to sexism - Rlly all I see of her in fanon is abt her teaching Sokka to drink his respect women juice and I appreciate her doing that but also it’s sad she never gets talked about outside of what she did for a man - I hope she has other badass moments w/o him it would suck if she didn’t - she is NOT the girlfriend who turned into the moon, she is the one who didn’t - I don’t know much else about her ATLA Fandom y’all should appreciate her more

ZUKO

- Look at him... my son... - He has a good redemption arc - he and his sister are evil lesbian and redeemed gay guy??? - has a straight canon ship but should’ve been with Sokka this boy is gay - I Want To Protect Him - That’s literally it - he has a cool uncle and his dad sucks  - people ship him with Katara and I Do Not Get It that’s his sister in law except not really - “We don’t trust Zuko’s change of heart” [the next day] “so Zuko is my closest friend now,”  - His dad was like “fuck up the avatar to prove your worth to me” and Aang was like “counter argument you already have worth and we should fuck up your dad” and I think that’s beautiful - he becomes the fire man and he’s very good at it - Zuko for President 2020 - in the words of myself, half an hour ago: “ I was like "that kid with the burn on his face seems like a sad but then happy mlm who needs found family" and I was RIGHT” - took too long to find a happy picture of him :( Zuko rights NOW please - His mother’s story got compared to an OC of mine and all I can say is oh no and they deserve better based on that alone - I have had Zuko for five minutes but if anything else happens to him I will kill everyone in this throne room and then myself

TOPH

- She is badass but like also will murder you while laughing maniacally? - for some reason reminds me of Nott from Critical Role, another show I Have Not Seen - Is blind but gets more out of making jokes abt being blind than she would from being able to see - “Sight is just a cheap tactic to make weak benders stronger!!!” - Literally the opposite of Aang and has killed many people?? - She Can Tell When You’re Lying. But I do not know how and Am simply mildly threatened by this - Therapist: Toph’s ability to know if you’re lying isn’t real and can’t hurt you. Toph’s ability to know if I’m lying:  - She and Zuko.... buddies???  - if not they should be - tiny sad boy needs friends like toph

AZULA

- Evil Lesbian Culture - [BDG Voice] You committed a war crime! Oopsie! - took be gay do crime too literally - her and Zuko have accurate sibling writin except instead of “you ever want to murder your sibling for breathing in the same space as you,” being a Joke Azula took it seriously - okay but with a name like azula she should be the blue bender this ANNOYS me she should NOT be red bender - AZULa  - AZUL - IT MEANS BLUE - She was half of y’alls gay awakenings and it SHOWS - Should have maybe been redeemed too??? Jury is out no one knows - Was she gay for Ty Lee or wasn’t she I can’t tell how much of that Audio is a joke - IS SHE ALSO TWELVE??? IS EVERYONE HERE TWELVE?? IS THIS TWELVE YEAR OLD COMITTING ATROCITIES? 

UNCLE IROH

- A Good Man - Finally, Some Good Fucking [Adult Figures]  - he has the tea. literally and figuratively - Ozai is like “and I will permanently disfigure my son and throw him out” and Iroh is like “What The Fuck, Ozai,” thus voicing the entire audience’s thoughts - Literally the only adult in this that I trust - I? I love him. this is all I have to say. my love for him is unending. Some1 protect this man from all harm   - he’s Zuko’s uncle (and also Azula ig) but he does not seem related to Ozai. is it just a theme in this family that one sibling is chill and one sibling commits horrendous atrocities against your fellow human beings or  - something happened to his son???? :((((( I Don’t Want Him To Have Suffered Like This

OZAI

- A BAD MAN - Uh Oh (stinky)  - THE WORST OF THE MEN  - I do not like him - Bastard man. nasty. committed war crimes and then went “but what if - get this - i also abused my son,”  - I would like him to Not Be Like This - by Like This I mean present and alive  - :/ 

TY LEE

- She’s NOT the There Is No War In Ba Sing Se lady and I don’t know why i thought she WAS but until I looked up her photo I thought that was her  - She looks like a sweetheart tho - I hope nothing bad happens to her????  - talks about auras??? or smth??? let her vibe - She would talk animatedly to me about warrior cats if she was in my year seven class and I was sat alone and I would understand none of it but appreciate her anyway - if azula bullies her I’ll be :( at Azula and Azula will not care because she has Mommy Issues and therefore is slightly unhinged - She seems like that one kid with no trauma vibing at the edge of [every other kid having trauma] and not really getting it but trying her best - Is she also twelve?????? She maybe looks twelve

CABBAGE MAN 

- HIS CABBAGES - fulfills my favourite trope: ordinary person repeatedly has life disrupted by the inconveniences of relying on actual children to save the world - probably has a campaign post canon for letting trained adults fix the worlds’ problems in the future - or sets up the Very First Cabbage Insurance Company - look at him. he loves his cabbages so much. you go you funky lil cabbage man

ALSO THE MOST IMPORTANT ONES MOMO

- LOOK AT HIM HE’S SO GOOD - small. fluffy. big ears - Lord Momo of the Momo Dynasty: his Momoness - a Good Boy...

APPA

- he looks so soft... - he can fly but he just does it by??? vibing through the air?? motionless??? iconic - I saw that one post about mishearing it as Abba and thinking he was Aang’s dad and he looks like he would be a good stand in dad ngl - he’s so LORGE - a chonky boy - love him

that is everyone I have heard of it and if I left someone out it’s a sign that y’all should talk about em more bc I have no clue they exist put more ATLA On my Dash ig I’ll do Legend of Korra ig maybe apparently that one has canon wlw and i love me some canon wlw

[captainninej]

my literary analysis of a rhysand stan/apologist got deleted, so here it is again bc i'm proud of it lol

lets pick this apart shall we

Before Feyre accepted the mating bond, Rhys was extremely upfront about why he did, what he did UTM. there were no lies or anything.

rhys being upfront about why he did what he did does not change the gravity of his action. a murderer confessing to murder isn't suddenly absolved of their crime - they still killed someone. the same principle applies here. he can be all moany and wishy washy as he likes, but he still did it.

He said 2 important things: the first was "I made the bargain so u wouldn't fuckin die and I needed Amarantha to think that you were my play thing" and the second was "I wanted to make Tamlin angry because he's the reason my sister and mother were slaughtered" and TBH??? Same bitch??

i see this around a lot, that rhys made the bargain with feyre so she would survive. but this falls apart pretty quickly when you start to wonder: how did parading around feyre and drugging her so she vomits and dressing her in pretty much nothing help her survive?? would she have died if he hadn't done that? probably not. none of it was necessary - not the clothes, not the drugging, not the trauma, not the twisting her broken arm. also, rhys didn't do it to save her life - in the same monologue you're talking about, he literally says he made the bargain 'to get back at [tamlin] for my mother and sister, and for...having you.' and that feyre was so hateful of him, somehow this meant he 'knew he had done his job well.' what job???

think about it. why did he need amarantha to believe feyre was his plaything? what did this prove? what did it contribute to freeing them?

If my mama and sister were slaughtered because of you I would literally do anything in my power to make u suffer??? Even if that meant parading your bitch around as my own?? Might I mention that Rhys didn't make Feyre do anything more than dance for him??

umm...

i'm not going to pretend any of us will know how we would act in that situation. but that's another conversation - what matters here is feyre. FEYRE DOESN'T KNOW ANY OF THIS. SHE IS AN INNOCENT THIRD PARTY HERE. regardless of personal history, rhys has no business implicating an innocent HUMAN girl in his beef with tamlin. that's between them, and it does nothing to change the ugliness of how he treated feyre. 'parading your bitch' hi the misogyny is showing

also 'rhys didn't make feyre do anything more than dance for him' and that's okay?? oh as long as it didn't go further than roofying, lap dancing without consent and dressing in cobwebs, it's fine?? i worry for you

Because like if I'm being completely honest I'd probably do worse??

i'm not even sure what to say to that

And Rhys was actually protecting her from more of Amaranthas weird ass punishments?? Like idk guys if you're anti rhys maybe ACOTAR just isn't for you and you can leave it at that.

was he? i would argue going through what rhys put feyre through was a form of punishment in of itself.

also, so if i don't like rhys acotar isn't for me...got it, acotar is for people who think this behaviour is acceptable. i'll make a note to stay away from them and keep them away from young children.

just a tip: when someone picks up a book, especially a popular one like this, they don't know what's in it before they read it. can you imagine a rape survivor reading through these books, seeing what rhys did to feyre, and then have to go through his explanations justifying all of it?? and have feyre forgive him?? what kind of message does that send??

Another point that's brought up a lot within the fandom is "choices" and how Tamlin didn't give Feyre choices, but Rhys did. And while I think that might be a point stressed in the novels, I don't think Feyre falling for Rhys is supremely entwined with "choices". I think what Rhysand gave Feyre more than Tamlin did was a voice and knowledge.

someone saying 'it's your choice' over and over while not giving you a choice doesn't make it any more true. just saying. you can say that rhys gave her knowledge and a voice, but two things: rhys only told feyre what he wanted to if it would serve his own purposes, see: him not telling her that he was using her as bait for the attor in acomaf, him not telling her about the mating bond, him not telling her that her own pregnancy will kill her. and the second: feyre doesn't need to be 'given' a voice. she has one. a voice is not something a woman needs to be given by a man, especially not some 500 year old creepo with a god complex.

Rhysand would tell her straight up, "look I can't tell you this unless you do this" and that's more an ultimatum than a choice. And we can go over the dynamics of ultimatums but Rhysand never bullshitted Feyre (ACOSF isn't canon oops) and ALWAYS heard her out. Rhysand always told her the dynamics of a situation. And more importantly, it was Feyres fuckin decision, and also it's fucking fiction so just be honest and say u don't ship it rather than trying to tank Rhys as a character.

um...and that's better than a choice? the fuck? think of the power in that sentence, that he wouldn't tell her something unless she did something. why does he have the right to withhold information from her?? why does she have to earn it, if they're such a pOwEr cOuPLe? rhysand's entire ARC is bullshitting feyre. he never once apologised for his behaviour. he only justified it while crying into soup. so if you don't want acosf to be canon, you know that rhys bullshitted feyre. you know that hiding medical information from her was a dick move. but it was completely in character for him if you notice the patterns in his behaviour right from the beginning of their relationship.

when did rhys tell her the dynamics of the situation?? when he traumatised her to beef with tamlin when she was human? when he made her agree to a bond for eternity when she was canonically with tamlin and was in no place to say no to the bargain? when he didn't tell her they were mates but told all his friends? when he used her as bait for the attor? when he hid her OWN PREGNANCY INFORMATION from her and told all his friends?

And more importantly, it was Feyres fuckin decision, and also it's fucking fiction so just be honest and say u don't ship it rather than trying to tank Rhys as a character.

you literally just proved yourself wrong in one sentence. 'it's feyre's decision and also it's fucking fiction' my dude you're right feyre is not a real person so you know who's making these decisions? the author. you know what the role of fiction is? to tell a story and spread messages, even unintentionally. people are reading this relationship and are guided to think that it's okay when it is literally textbook abuser behaviour. this shit has consequences. i read these books at 13 and didn't see a flaw in rhys' behaviour because the author told me not to and because i was too young to have any experience with relationships. i'm 19 now and i'm horrified to look back on these books i once loved.

you sound a lot like rhys there, 'it's feyre's choice'. no it wasn't. it was the author's choice to depict the relationship like this. all of us are being honest you fuckwit this is more than not liking a ship, it's pointing out alarming behaviour from a character who is portrayed as a hero.

i don't need to tank rhys as a character. the author and the fandom did it for me.

[absentmoon]

hunter thoughts!!! i have a lot to say and tbh im probably only confident enough to criticize bc i know im qualified lol this one is LONG LONG

okk SO i do have some problems with how hunter is written.. not hunter himself actually he's really great i think!! he's very understandable i think hes very realistic representation imo :)

i just hate how other characters are written to treat him. i think from a purely storytelling perspective its mostly understandable (even if idont find it justified tho i know im emotional about children So im biased), but from a writing and representation standpoint its! often extremely uncomfortable!

first and most important to me is the multiple throwaway lines (..jokes? gags? i cant tell tone) about hunter going back/being handed over to be.los? i could understand if these were brought up again but they just Arent ^^; and like thats deeply discomforting! this is a plotline that needs to be handled with care. there are going to be people and especially children who empathize with hunter and his situation. seeing jokes about being handed over thrown out and then dropped are just..well to be honest kind of triggering! :') like beyond that its just not... good in any way to joke about that? if it was picked up more and carried out as a plotline i could be more understanding definitely! but (for the most part) theyre just kinda There

it also rubs me the wrong way how hunter is consistently made to prove himself, or how its shown that he's completely in the wrong for believing his uncle. like yes, hes done bad things, but bel.os is 1) a mass manipulator 2) the only adult and probably the only person hunter knew for at least most of his life 3) the emperor. ofc hunter isn't going to be totally good right away- he's only just now gotten a support system!!

ive gone super off topic WHOOPS. but back to my point its just kinda eughh to me that its implied that hunter should've been against bel.os wayyy sooner. thats not how abuse works! its extremely common for victims to latch onto and defend their abusers thats just? a normal reaction? and i get writing characters to be upset with him, that's understandable, but sometimes it gets to the point - mostly with the adults - where its just too much for me :( especially when hes very clearly trying to learn? for someone whos been isolated forever thats super impressive and needs to be encouraged!

honestly idk i forgot my main points im just protective ^^; the first paragraph is the thing that upsets me the most for sure

[makiema]

finally finished writing about how much stormbringer enhances the skk dynamic which was at a nascent stage in Fifteen and anticipates the developments which happen later and culminate in Dead Apple where the faith they have in each other is absolutely remarkable! the fact that i said i’d do this in a few hours yesterday but it took me like 24 hrs to finish i have an attention span of a whole 2 minutes 💀

my favorite thing about stormbringer is that it actually builds up on the concepts/themes introduced in Fifteen so it's a glimpse into what has changed in dazai and dazai & dhuuya after one year of being together. As much as it's about chuuya confronting his past and his identity this is also about dazai’s development from who he was in fifteen. chuuya and rimbaud both left their marks on dazai and in Stormbringer we see him, actually trying to emulate or follow in a sense a way of life, that chuuya and rimbaud represented. Stormbringer is not just about chuuya, abt his test of humanity, or he coming in terms with who or what he is. it's about dazai too. it's about dazai developing or at least attempting to develop what he calls “boyish”/ “ordinary” in Fifteen. its not about chuya having an identity crisis. in fact what we understand from Code 04's last section is that chuuya never considered it as his crisis and neither did dazai. so to dazai “saving chuuya is important, human or not doesn't matter” and when dazai gives chuuya time to think abt what the operation will cost him chuuya doesnt so much as flinch form his purpose. This goes on to show unlike verlaine he doesnt care about memory and certainly doesnt consider it as the only determinant of someone being human. He cares more abt yokohama and his friends and in that, in caring abt his “family”, he is just as human as the next person. whether he’s factually human or not comes secondary to his desire to save people. This is a message that the quality of being human has more to do with embodying human qualities or humanity than having memories and lineage. so yeah stormbringer is essentially about embracing humanity but this happens on 2 levels: both chuuya and dazai embrace humanity. Going back to the boyish or ordinary bit, im talking abt this segment:

here dazai is shocked because he assumed everyone “gangsta” and everyone crazy powerful delighted in homicide, in deliberately indulging in the macabre. but he is proved wrong. He logically concluded that anyone with power more than average and belonging to the underground would kill people and delight in that because it’s a given they lack any kind of moral understanding. To that end, they’d be exalted at the prospect of relentlessly shooting a dead body, mutilating it and dishonoring it. The mafia code (any general mafia code) works in a way where honor and death goes hand in hand. So only the lowest of the low would do that to a dying person, who even when faced with certain death is loyal to his own organisation. This really shows that even within the mafia dazai is the only person whos like the devil incarnate. So yeah dazai at this sate far lower than even a mafia member. But chuuya who actually embodiess the mafia code and is incredibly loyal to his organisation and “family” [ putting family in quotes bc he himself calls his friends family 🥺] ofc kicks the gun away. From dazai’s pov chuuya being as insanely powerful as he is should also do the same. But chuuya comes along and suggests that even enemies should be shown respect where it’s due. And that is what an ordinary person, oblivious to mafia life (mafia life as in waht dazai makes of it) thinks. So in undermining the binary between “ordinary” and “mafia” chuuya proves that being mafia doesnt necessarily mean selling your soul to the devil and giving up the last smidge of humanity. In fact by embodying qualities like compassion and kindness and mutual respect, you can make the mafia a better place for yourself and for the other members. Now in Stormbringer, we see how this affected dazai. here dazai is introduced as someone mercilessly killing to set up the channel. 

Now to expand the channel one would need to keep doing it right? To mercilessly kill ppl and stuff but instead what he does is hand the channel over to chuuya bc he knows chuuya wouldnt handle it like him. im not suggesting that dazai miraculously becomes v good or anything with dazai the key words is “try” or “to some extent” like in Fifteen when Chuuya asks “do u wanna live” he’s like “ not to that extent”. similarly its not to say he doesnt kill people anymore. it is that he tries to lessen the number of casualties by handing over one of the most troublesome channels to chuuya who would manage it in a much more humane way. That dazai draws from his friends/at least tries to is smth we’ll see again later on when he deals with akutagawa. He talks about odasaku and ofc its baffling to him that a mafia member as powerful as him would be taking acre of orphans. and dazai says but he cant afford to be that kind and proceeds to shoot akutagswa but again does so in a calculated way such that he doesnt end up killing him ( im NOT justifying dazai’s abuse not at all im just saying that its hard to believe he coincidentally knew the exact no of bullets that aku could block. and had odasaku’s words and his way of life not been in the back of his mind he could’ve ended up killing aku) coming back to chuuya and dazai we also see him avoiding further conversation on the jewelry channel thing as he says “leave that for now”. He does a similar thing again when mori brings up the concept of double suiciding with chuuya.

 Its a HUGE thing for him to digest that him suiciding would inevitably spell the doom for chuuya. this puts an unimaginable responsibility on him. And he avoids further discussion on this. Now we know dazai is the rambly type. Even in the most dire moments he goe son with his LOONG monologues so really he is the last person who’d avoid a conversation but he deliberately does it in these 2 instances because its hard for him to grasp these things. That he can go against his nature and do a conscientious thing by handing over one of the most grisly channels to chuuya (i dont think dazai’s nature is evil. Or even if it is, its a a social construct keeping in mind the war ravaged times or its mori’s construct because he does exploit dazai to the hilt. but dazai ofc thinks of himself as non-human, devious. perfectly devilish...etc.) And also the fact that someone as suicidal as him is actually responsible for the life of someone else is really too much to take in. a whole 10 seconds pause indicates just how much he was thrown off when mori opened his eyes to the reality of things: if he dies, chuuya inexorably dies as a consequence. also i dont think the “wow” here or the next bit :

is something jokey. if it was like haha double suicide with chuuya is the worst haha wanna do it w pretty lady kind of a deal. that pause would have been unnecessary. dazai’s immediate reaction would’ve been whining and shit. the use of “froze” too implies the gravity of the situation. so ofc what is “wow” is how much meaning his life has for someone else. and for some so much....better than him. and what is unacceptable is this sad, sad truth that his life (to which he ascribes no value) would be so inextricably linked with someone else’s and hold so much meaning to them. it is like when a suicidal person at the brink of suicide understanding his life is not his own. his life and death holds consequences for ppl surrounding him. so both of these are huge things to grasp and at both these times dazai is visibly shaken up so much so that he doesnt want to do his favorite thing- ramble in a condescending tone. smth he does in so many instances. this really is a testimony to the fact that things are changing in him. the redemption process has begun. he’s no longer the kind of maniac he was before he encountered chuuya. when zuko underwent his transition in atla he was so shaken up after one (1) right decision he had a fever. i think this is true for anyone who’s trying to change. change is after all a huge thing for everyone. ofc he’ll be unsettled. so anyways this is proof that he has indeed come a long way from being someone who revelled at the prospect of meaningless bloodshed.

now coming to the concept of love he assumes he’d get sick of love and die:

and that death is the singular goal worth chasing after because it makes you feel more alive/get a fuller picture of what living entails. but here he is erring by supposing love is something that’ll bore him/have no meaning. and it cant provide him that “something” he’s looking for. at this point he hasn’t loved so he doesnt know whether he’ll be sick of it or if it'll have no impact. And yet he’s morose and regretful. this is a kind of self-imposed constraint hes putting on himself. he cancels out the v idea of love because hes convinced it isnt worth it. he hasnt even been in love okay scratch being in love that sounds romantic and i really dont mean love in a romantic sense here...its just love. in general. any form is cool. anyway so dazai is not familiar with any kind of love. He is entirely alien to the concept. he doesnt even know what a friend/partner is so he doesnt know what love is. this is cleared out here when rimbaud confesses he did everything for paul and dazai is unconvinced:

chuuya ofc admonishes him and shuts him up for good, he says dazai has no right lookind down upon smth he doesnt understand. he doesnt understand friendship, love. or loyalty. or how important those feelings are at this point. now this situation is turned on its head in stormbringer. but before we go into that let’s look at the message rimbaud had for both of them. ik he specifically asks for chuuya to “live” but there’s purpose behind including both of them in the frame. it’s a message they should both take to heart. and at the end of it its implied both are changed after hearing it:

and in this message the first bit is for chuuya. what he says is basically memory doesn’t make u human... ”you are you” just a frame or not doesnt matter. and even if hes just a frame, he is still beautiful. beauty actually is a v important concept in literature starting right from Plato to Shakespeare. i’d not bring this here but because bsd is so deeply rooted in literature i feel like the reference to beauty, and later on to soul and even warmth and also the universal tone of this message carries some meaning. so the thing is  both Plato and Shakespeare were endorsed the idea of love as a force awakened in the world by beauty which then leads the soul to perfection. so humans and by extension, all life are beautiful frames that can inspire love. this concept is also there in Romantic poetry like Keats and Wordsworth all of them talked about loving beauty in nature and how that can elevate the body mind and soul. so essentially in telling this to chuuya what ehe basically means is that chuuya just by being him, by being a beautiful framework can inspire love and warmth in others and thats a great purpose! how much chuuya understands of this purpose with his one (1) braincell and his low self esteem is questionable but he gets some sense of belonging. now this is a two way relationship so ofc dazai has to be factored in. he comes in the next part: 

these are from 2 different translation so the disparity im sorry ;-; but anyway,  this last part abt the world being a cold place. then paul. then “warmth” is a message to dazai who’s been introduced to us as cold-hearted and having like no bearings of a human being. this is the reason why its important for both o f them to be there. now going back to chuuya being a beautiful framework, the framework can be beautiful in so far as its beauty is appreciate by someone and inspires warmth and love in someone. this again is the whole beauty/beholder nature/the romantic concept that is there in shakespeare and in Romantic poetry where both are a part of a codependent relationship. so what rimbaud implies here is that dazai can have that kind of a relationship with another person (chuuya) just like rimbaud had with paul which makes him warm and the world doesnt feel cold anymore. rimbaud has no regrets about what he did because. so the idea is that dazai and chuuya can share the same dynamic. also after this, the narrative says that their hearts are now changed and wont return to what they were before....and even their souls are refined in a way. but in Fifteen we dont have a concrete proof of how this happened bc the novel ends at this point. Instead, Stormbringer shows exactly how deep the impact of those words is: 

this is the third instance of dazai showing hesitation and once again this has to do with chuuya. the seed of the dynamic that rimbaud was talking about  is already germinating in him. his reactions, his fidgeting, his hesitancy, in response to chuuya’s situation is such a big contrast to his cocksure self when he’s conversing with adam and verlaine. after this of course we have: 

not only does he clearly express his concern but he gives chuuya 2 whole mins to make a decision and based on that he’s prepared to overturn the operation. the success rate of an alternative plan will ofc be lesser than the og one but that doesnt faze dazai. he’s ready to turn the tide for chuuya’s sake and if this is not development idk what is. just a year ago, he was someone to whom the concept of rimbaud going thru all that trouble for his friend was a lost concept. ironically enough, now he finds himself doing something that is along the same lines. he puts chuuya above his mission. to him, chuuya is more important than getting a satisfactory result. another bit that i wanna talk abt is that one controversial section where dazai says he’ll save chuuya, human or not, and then the justification is: 

i think a lot of people got mad bc of this and honestly at first glance i was peeved too. as a chuuya stan some of the shit dazai has done so far did rub me the wrong way. i love skk obv but still those were moments that kind of left a bad taste in the mouth. i’ll discuss them later on bc stormbringer helps allay that feeling. coming back to the “i wanna see chuuya suffer” part firstly context is important. ofc someone like dazai cant be expected to be upfront about his feelings with ppl (or AI) he barely knows. so what be relays to adam, is only partly true and its actually a kind of a twist in concept. the things is, and this is  smth dazai knows all too well is that ppl suffer simply on account of being human. human suffering is brought on because humans, by virtue of being humans, feel. so when he says he’s willing to acknowledge chuuya as human despite what N and Verlaine said he’s already admitting that chuuya suffers. so there is really nothing “new” to see for him. he knows chuuya suffers already and he does too because they’re both humans trying to make it thru their messed up lives. also chuuya “ceasing to be human” is a p huge concern for him bc he himself is like that. just like with the suicide thing, it bothers dazai when someone else shares his situation/his fate like as long as his life is his own, he has no problem ending it whenever but the situation is complicated when someone else’s life span is determined by that decision. and similarly, as long as he is “no longer human” its not that much of an issue because he’s like resigned to a doomed fate but someone like chuuya ceasing to be human or worse yet never getting to know if hes human or not are pressing matters. so anyways what he actually means here is that in saving chuuya, he saves someone who suffers just like he does and in their case, even the cause of suffering boils down to a shared psychological conflict: what essentially constitutes being human and if im human or not. now this sharing of pain and suffering is the foundation of forming a connection with someone, which makes life a little better. here again, what rimaud imparted to dazai and chuuya is driven home. also dazai’s key anxiety is not finding meaning/anything. this “anything” can be assumed to be something that justifies life. so all his anxiety and frustration stems from the fact that there really is no discernible meaning to be found in the mechanism of life. so it is an empty pursuit because it is true that nothing can explain why feelings of pain and suffering are exponentially heavier than feelings of happiness or why after getting to experience one (1) free day we’re back to square one where life is grueling. these are questions that really dont have an answer so every time dazai like gazes into the abyss and says he didnt  find anything, he is not so much asking if he’ll ever find anything as swallowing the hard truth that there is nothing to be found, no singular entity exists that can magically justify everything. again drawing upon literature or philosophy more specifically, there’s a concept called Absurdism which says the only philosophical truth so to say is this that life is absurd and looking for meaning is futile. instead what we can do is accept that it is absurd and deal with it in the best way possible, by finding little sources and moments of happiness, and strewing them together so we feel somewhat content. even if it is just for a fleeting second. and this happiness/contentment amidst a wretched life (altho temporal) can be found in friendship, in sharing, and even in having fun with people you’re comfortable with! this is actually why dazai wants to save chuuya and now it may seem like im interpreting his words through the shipping lens but thats not so and it can be corroborated by looking into dazai’s words to odasaku. after chuuya, dazai’s next attempt at friendship was odasaku who he found “interesting”. now when odasaku sort of like threw hands and chose death over having to live a life without the orphans, dazai tried to stop him not by saying stuff like life is good. and things will def change for the better. but instead he admits that living is hard and the sense of void is ubiquitous and yet he doesnt want him to  up and die because then he would be sad. because the little comfort that he got from odasaku and something he probably assumed odasaku also got from him would be gone. [how much odasaku considered dazai a source of comfort remains unclear. in fact the reason odasaku gave up and died was because he did not have this. this feeling of sharing in someone else’s suffering and seeking comfort in friends in the real world. instead he was too vested in his ideal world. his over reliance on an entirely idealistic concept is actually what pushed him over the edge. and this would have been the case for dazai too had he not encountered and sought comfort and companionship in chuuya and eventually in odasaku ] so this again goes on to show how rimbaud’s words changed dazai’s heart. and in a way dazai really has been doing this unconsciously form the v beginning like by teasing chuuya continually in Fifteen. you dont expect someone as cold as him to indulge in friendly bickering and taunting so often but he does. that there is significance and even happiness in that is something he learns over time, after rimbaud’s words to him. although these things seem futile on the surface they give a moment’s respite. so although chuuya spinning dazai on a rope in stormbringer might seem weird to everyone, they still serve a purpose:  

what shirase puts forward is particularly relevant here because neither dazai nor chuuya is fully aware of the extent of their feelings (or even what those feelings are like they dont know what label to put. so typical oblivious lovers) for each other or what they stand to gain just by driving each other nuts but there is something intangible but satisfying to be felt. a kind of contentment that helps him continue. one day at a time. there is no one great “thing” that can make him like wake up one day feeling like he doesnt want to die ever again. but again like i said before, the key word for dazai is “extent” so, these little things to some extent contribute to a sense of fulfilment which helps him keep death at bay. thats why he’s bent on saving chuuya bc he knows they can share in their suffering and make life better for each other. its not like he wants chuuya to suffer. chuuya will suffer nonetheless like every other human. but in suffering together there is something to be found so he doesnt want him to cease being human. 

this covers more or less the intertextuality between Stormbringer and Fifteen. i just wanna talk a bit more about a couple other moments in Stormbringer that i feel are p important because they put some things in the series in perspective and also made the dead apple moment 10x more emotional 🥺 one thing that really strikes me is the absolute fanon level of comfort that dazai and chuuya share in Strombringer. its like scenes form k-drama lol. 

so yeah this stuff. compare this with dazai’s reaction @atsushi when he drops im not saying that its not just a joke and that what im saying should be the right way to look at this contrast. its not like that at all. but what this does is give an estimate to the readers just how close and comfortable dazai feels when its chuuya. and this plus everything i rambling on abt for so long also gives us an estimate about the sincerity of dazais feelings. now 2 things always bothered me : the fact that dazai actually left chuuya and the fact that after the fight against lovecraft he actualy deserted him (this again can ofc be construed as just a humorous bit but still it did leave a bad taste in my mouth) dazai leaving the mafia is ofc something he had to do to fulfil oda’s dying wish but it still dint sit right with me that he would abandon chuuya. just like oda levaing is harder on dazai, dazai leaving is harder on chuuya. its always harder on the one left behind. so anyway, these sorts of things sometimes made me doubt dazai’s feelings but now that stormbringer clears it all up i do think there is a larger motif at work here. when mori offers dazai to come back to the mafia in s2 we see him saying that it was mori who kicked him out and that he did so because he was afraid dazai would usurp his position. so he set it up in a way that dazai would be forced to leave but on his own accord. now more than usurpation i believe what mori really did fear is that dazai had no allegiance to the mafia (which is actually true) bc he doesnt have that sense of loyalty and that to him his friends were more important than swearing allegiance to mori. (which again is true). so by getting oda killed, the message that mori seemed to be giving out was if dazai didnt leave he would do it again. and if we consider ango’s betrayal which had already transpired at that point, the one mori would next target to sort of get at dazai would inevitably be chuuya. this is only conjecture but still, i do believe this might as well be true because then it would explain why dazai didnt carry chuuya back to the base after their fight [something he was v comfortable doing in Stormbringer. in fact in the first case he carries chuuya back to the billiards bar and not to the mafia’s base so he could hear albatross’ last words 🥺] its because mori needs to know unlike dazai, chuuya is absolutely loyal to him which regrettably he is. it kinda becomes imperative therefore on part of dazai to make it seem that way to mori. that they really are at each others throats and that dazai is insignificant to chuuya. and that the mafia comes before dazai. (which is not true bc we see chuuya protecting his friend [shirase] while also staying loyal to the mafia in Stormbringer) 

mori also in his own way tries to provoke hostility b/w them like in Dead Dpple when he was all like yeah so dazai is the star and chuuya is merely bait. so it kinda makes sense if dazai left the mafia not only to like do good work but also to protect chuuya from mori. also the fact that chuuya did the same thing— left the Sheep and joined PM to protect Shirase from the mafia makes be believe that my speculation is plausible given all the parallels we find between dazai and chuuya. 

and the last bit is about the brilliant Dead Apple scene and how much added context it gets in light of Stormbringer. 

in this scene dazai first says: “you used Corruption believing in me?” and then the translation is “how beautiful” which is an okay translation but the exact thing dazai said was “nakasetekurerune” which literally is : youre gonna make me cry you know? now my knowledge of japanese is like duolingo level but i do know “nakasete” has to do with crying and “kureru” is used by the receiver to indicate he’s receiving a feeling/object from someone close. so basically chuuya trusting him is something so beautiful that it could almost move him to tears. now lets look at dazai’s intro in Stormbringer:

dazai, being dazai, ofc would be able to tell genuine trust from fealty out of fear so ofc the fact that chuuya has this kind of blind faith in him is overwhelming for him. also stormbringer really expands on the sight effects of Corruption in full detail. its so PAINFUL and to think that chuuya would jump into it right away for dazai’s sake.....no wonder he is so soft when deactivating him. and then he proceeds to flirt for a little bit with the Snow White and the kiss of life reference. but this flirting doesnt seem even a little out of place now. it doesn't feel like smth meaningless or smth that dazai is just saying as a joke. that there is absoluetly no subtext to making a statement like that. instead that kind of flirting feels like smth inspired from a deep, deep familiarity with someone who really shares his heart and soul. when he talks to chuuya abt the problem of not knowing whether he is human or not, it is a problem that is as central to him as it’s to chuuya. not feeling fully reconciled to a human identity is a problem thats fundamental to both of them. I don’t think familiarity gets any deeper than this where you share the exact same psychological problem. so its really wonderful how we can trace the skk development now: what starts out as a crush on part of dazai or not a crush exactly rather, a feeling of perplexed admiration because chuuya is breathtakingly beautiful inside out, eventually gain all these layers and develops into something meaningful where they have so much faith in each other and where they literally help each other live. knowing someone out there shares your exact issue so you’re really not alone in this is perhaps the greatest comfort in the world. also now its clear how both of them would have turned out had they not met each other and had they not taken in rimbaud’s advice. chuuya in his desire to learn about himself and frustration at not being able to do the same would have perhaps spiralled downward and ended up becoming like verlaine. he is his double here after all. and had dazai not seen chuuya up close being the wonderful person he is, he too would have probably ended up developing a god complex and becoming like fyodor. dazai is there to save chuuya literally from dying a monster and chuuya is there to remind him he too can try and mend his ways and embrace his human side. after all chuuya has so much trust him in! (despite him having questionable methods) for both of them, it starts out as an attempt to be more human, then establishing a fruitful partnership, and finally coming in terms with their feelings to some extent. for dazai, he’s comfortable enough to engage in occasional flirting at this point and for chuuya it’s playing along with dazai’s antics (well with the ones he get 💀 pretty boy has half a functional braincell) and openly showing his concern for him. so really by confirming their feelings what strombringer does is enhance the skk development in a way that Dead Apple doesnt seem like fan service anymore. the fact that dazai would casually flirt or be comfortable with chuuya landing on his crotch 💀 all that isnt as ridiculous as it first seemed because stormbringer lays the groundwork and anticipates all the intimate/flirty skk moments that have happened till now and ig will happen again soon. 

[hoodieofholland]

If this is too much to ask I understand, but I was wondering if you could write something with the reader telling tom the reason why she has trust issues and didn't want a relationship with him at first, and that's because all those times men in your life hurt you? 🌷

This is somewhat personal, cause ive been through a bad relationship. I still have worries that are related to things i experienced in it, things that have me thinking about postponing looking for smth serious bc i dont want it to be drama all the time. Anyways, there's love out there and you don't have to hold on smth bad, if anyone is passing through this, just let go and put yourself first, always.

Warnings: mentions of heartbreak, mentions of abusive relationship.

You play with the hem of you shirt as the two of you sit beside one another on the small sofa of your living room. Tom was worried -- his entire face showed that off. He cared about you and about your feelings in a way that got him thinking if he had taken a much more larger step than he was supposed to.

"Is it something that I did?", he asks softly, as if his words could hurt your in some sort of way. You looked up at him, blinking a few tears away as you tried to regain some strength to talk about it.

"No, it's just- I love our relationship, Tom. I truly do, but...", you try to speak.

"But you don't wanna be with me?", he can't help but ask, and then he closes his eyes briefly, "I'm sorry, I'll let you speak. Go ahead"

You sigh and smile thankfully. "I want to. Don't get me wrong... I can't stop imagining what it'd be like to be your girlfriend. We spend such a great time together and I love everything about our relationship, from everything that is physical to our conversations", it's good to finally be honest with him.

You and Tom were in a really... delicate situation. Since the first time you hook up, you made it very clear that you wanted no strings attached. You liked him since the first time your were introduced to one another, through common friends, but you still didn't want anything serious with anyone.

It wasn't Tom. It was your past.

Everything was proving to be much more difficult through months being together, because you couldn't help but fall for the brown haired boy. He was kind, sweet, always kissed you passionately and treated you like you were a really important person for him. And there were not many people who did that to you.

You were grateful for it and you thought that maybe could deal with that feeling, hiding it, in sake of your friendship with him and the time you spent together. But right after the last time you slept together, when you were laying your head on his bare chest, his slender fingers tracing circles on your back, he whispered something that made both of your chest ache in realisation.

"I'm in love with you".

You felt a coward, but you still did what you thought was the best -- you gathered your things together, just like your deepest feelings, and made your way out of his bedroom.

It's been a week since then and Tom decided to give you the space you needed, as your replies to his messages made it clear enough. When you finally felt the courage to tell him what was going on, you called him up to your place, and that's how you ended up here.

"So what's wrong, love?", Tom asks, his voice still low as he tries to understand what's going inside your head. "Look, I know I agreed with this whole no strings thing, but- I changed my mind. I mean, I thought you did too, that's why I brought it up. I'm sorry if I disrespected your space, but I had to tell you how I felt. I couldn't betray both of us this way anymore. This is much more than just a casual hook up for me now, y/n".

You bite your lips. Yes, that's exactly what you did, you lied to him and tried to lie to yourself. All because you were too afraid to say the exact same words that he is saying now.

You run your hands over your cheeks before crossing your legs on the sofa and taking a large breathe. "What is wrong, in fact, is that... I- I'm afraid. I'm afraid this might go wrong, I'm afraid that we ruin what we have".

"By taking our relationship more seriously? How come?", Tom frowns, "I'm sorry, but I'm not understanding your point-".

"I'm afraid that we might end up like my old relationships!", you finally let out, in one loud shout, facing the ground as you close your hands in tight fists. The emotions you so hardly buried inside of your chest comes out and you feel it. You remember how miserable you felt when you were dating your last boyfriend, how he made sure to put you in the lowest mindset so he could make himself more of a man, how he always wanted to get the spotlight when he was with you. He needed to be the smartest. He needed to put you down, so he could feel like a winner.

Tom goes silence, he watches as you try to come up with a better explanation, reading through your face as you lick your lips and finally look at his face again.

"It was awful. I felt awful. And what killed me for a long time was that I couldn't trust anyone. I couldn't trust anyone could truly want what was good for me. I felt so hurt. And people always acted like I was doing drama, like I was overreacting, but that's not how I felt. I- I don't wanna go through that again, Tom, and I'm just so afraid"

Tom's frown deepens on his forehead and he gets closer to you on the sofa, hesitantly asking to bring you to his arms in a soft hug. You accept it, closing yoir eyes as you let yourself get lost in his scent.

"I'm sorry about that, darling", he whispers, kissing the top of your head. "I'm so sorry that you had to go through this, you don't deserve it at all. You deserve to be loved, and whoever on this earth has the lucky to call you their and treat you like this... whoever did it doesn't deserve a shit. You're so- so kind and loving. And loveable", he pulls you away for a bit to look at your face, cupping your cheeks with his hand, thumb caressing your skin. "I love you, y/n. I love every piece of you, and believe me when I say I tried really hard to be loyal to our agreement and not to fall for you, but it was just... unnatural", he chuckles, rubbing away a single tear that drop from your eyes.

"I understand your worries and I'm gonna respect whatever choice you make, but... I need to say that I'm not gonna treat you like this. I'm gonna love you, if you're willing to try it. To try and be my- my girlfriend. I can give you the love you deserve, sweetheart".

You sniff, blinking away the wetness on your eyes. Tom kissed the tip of your nose, his thumbs rubbing small circles on your cheeks.

"It's up to you, y'know. I don't want to push you. But I need you to know it all", he sighs and rests his forehead against yours.

You nod slowly and smile. He was kind, he carried about you. He was your Tom this whole time, not just a hook up, not just your secret lover. He was one of your best friends. He would never put both of you in a competition, when he was always trying to put you in the spotlight, to make you laugh, to make you shine. He wasn't a dick, like your old boyfriends. Love wasn't over just because of bad experiences. Tom has showed you that, that you could fall for another man again.

You smile widens when you give him a slight peck on the lips, making him open those beautiful brown eyes.

"I want it. I want to be your girlfriend".

He smiled. And when you thought you've seen the greatest joy in Tom's face already, you were watching him glow now, taking you into a passionate kiss as both of you giggled and held into one another to share a love none of you expected in the first place.

[darlington-v]

I know different interpretations of a work are generally enriching and cool... but c!dream villan interpretations is like how to tell me you only watch Tommy without saying you only watch tommy.... which would be fine but its not a great place to be making statements about the whole nature of the dsmp lol

Wild speculation, but sometimes I wonder if like, because the dsmp didn't really start as a narrative, and a lot of fans don't nessecarily enter it expecting a narrative, but then there is one and the fandom is really discourse heavy and everyone is sort of excpeted to have an opinion while maybe not expecting to form one from the begining or not having a ton of experience with narrative in a way that would "expect" them to have an opinion or not take things at face value??, I don't know if I explained that well at all... and I don't really even think thats right nessecarily... but like wow sometimes some of the takes about power and government and villany...

Honestly, it makes sense!!!

I think something interesting is like.... looking at how animatics have shaped the like tone and culture of the fandom essentially. Like, an interesting fact that I didn't really fully grasp until SUPER recently is like...

c!Wilbur out the gate admits he is manipulating c!Tommy. Like his first youtube video on the Dream SMP he admits his goal is to manipulate c!Tommy and people like c!Tommy into helping him achieve a potion ("drug") empire to monopolize on potions because there were a lot of people on the server who like to min-max, which is to put all of your effort into this one specific skill essentially. so like... i know minecraft doesnt have a skill tree but if it did, it would be putting all your points into that one specific branch of a skill tree. So he wanted to exploit the labor of all the TommyInnits to.... maintain a Potion Empire.

THIS IS A LONG POST BC I GOT CARRIED AWAY SO BUCKLE UP

And I don't think a lot of the fandom who joined later on knows this. I certainly didn't until like a week or so ago? Like... I knew c!Wilbur had been manipulative from the start because I'm a mod of (shameless self promo incoming) @dsmpanalysis and we have a lot of different POVs in that mod team and discord and we talk about it really frequently. I joined the fandom as someone who was really big on L'manburg ESPECIALLY crimeboys, and have turned into.... *gestures vaguely to my blog*

And ngl I owe a lot of it to @1-michibiki-1 in terms of c!Dream "Apologism" but all of the mods there have expanded my thoughts and views on the storylines of this narrative.

My application consisted of like largely essays about like... how I think Dream was the villain but he was meant to be the villain because you don't get any insight into his character WHICH.... IS A FAIR ASSUMPTION AT FIRST GLANCE. People are easily villainized when you cannot get a glimpse into their thought process. It's easy to dwindle someone down into this flat character and starting out I knew Dream didn't stream the SMP on purpose.

And I personally came to the conclusion of "Oh! So Dream is supposed to be the villain." However as the story continued and I learned more about what Dream went through I began to realize that... it's more than likely a form of a red herring. My opinions on this were immediately solidified when I watched Ranboo's 2 MIL stream because both Ranboo AND Dream agree on enjoying red herrings.

There have been MANY times were Dream has said that c!Dream is a complex character and he's not a wholly evil guy and there have been times where the narrative has honestly just proved that.

Anyways, what's important though was that... I learned most of this from other people who were more focused on c!Dream rather than myself. Eventually I shifted from c!Tommy to c!Ranboo and c!Techno after c!Tommy betrayed c!Techno and I began to realize.... everything I learned before hopping in wasn't exactly what it seemed.

Part of this is because I'm older, I heavily identify with c!Techno's sense of loyalty and philosophies on government, but I especially identify with the anguish c!Techno voiced in... a lot of lore but especially the lore around Doomsday.

I'm not 16 anymore. I don't always feel wronged by adults, or older people in my case, whenever they absolutely have done something wrong by me, but I do feel wronged by my close friends. I also felt like c!Tommy's sense of loyalty didn't line up with mine after what felt like him constantly flip-flopping and refusing to understand c!Techno's morals on government didn't line up with his.

In short, it was easier to identify with Tommy in these animatics versus in the actual stream content because c!Tommy is played by a 16 year old. I'm not a teenager and my line of thinking doesn't entirely line up with people that age anymore. It's harder to place myself in the same shoes of someone's OC who is played closer to their actual age, because I'm not that age.

Regardless, I was still on the c!Dream is a villain train. I wasn't ever like... c!Dream is repulsive I hate him, but I was like omg hot villain lad go brrr.

Even when the first like... mellohi, panic room, Ranboo lore stream popped up I thought "Oh! c!Ranboo corruption arc?"

And I was excited because I really wanted this shy, nervous character to turn into villain buddies with his good pal c!Dream. I'm a total sucker for villains and corruption arcs and all that good shit.

SO I STARTED GETTING REALLY INTERESTED IN ENDERSMILE. I'VE BEEN ON ENDERSMILE SQUAD OUT THE GATE. NOT THE SAME WAY I AM NOW, BUT I'VE ALWAYS WANTED THEM TO TEAM UP.

So... upon not really keeping up with c!Dream and being relatively??? indifferent? I don't think I started arguments on c!Dream back then, but I might have. But I remember like... starting to participate more whenever c!Dream came up and looking more into Dream's character BUT ESPECIALLY TALKING WITH OUR SERVER'S C!DREAM SPECIALIST MICHI ABOUT DREAM A LOT MORE.

And because Michi has been a watcher since day one and was a DTeam fan rather than a SBI fan, she was able to provide me with more information on how the server worked pre-Tommy but especially pre-Wilbur.

Now, you could definitely argue well Michi probably has clear bias but it made sense to me when I looked back on how the storyline had been constructed and was going along, and everyone in the server talks a lot about our own biases and how we want people to maybe not lean so hard on them. Michi would also provide like anecdotes on what had happened and I'm sure links were probably provided at one point but the point was I felt like Michi had no reason to lie or manipulate how the story was told and if she did, eventually someone would have pointed it out because... Group of like... right now it's around 20 or more analysts but I don't remember how many at the time there were. POINT BEING, WE'VE ALL GOT POINTS TO PROVE AND IN MY EXPERIENCE NOT MANY OF US HAVE BEEN SHY TO PROVE THEM.

So if anyone ever had any differing opinions they would be talked about and we literally had and still have discussions.

REGARDLESS.... I DIDN'T FACT CHECK IN DEPTH BECAUSE I THOUGHT PEER REVIEW WAS ENOUGH WHEN YOU HAVE LIKE HOURS UPON HOURS OF STREAMS TO WATCH.

Anyways. Eventually I started paying closer attention and looking more into c!Dream lore but only recently have I started to triple check before speaking about c!Wilbur lore because I know everyone has biases and while I did trust everyone's thoughts and analysis in the discord, whenever I make essays I typically like it to be largely air tight and if theres a mistake, I want it to be because I forgot not because I just trusted what was said. Plus, I wanted to get down to the specifics of how Wilbur had always started with manipulation on the mind.

SO I WATCHED HIS FIRST VIDEO ON THE DREAM SMP.

AND WHAT I WAS NOT BY ANY MEANS EXPECTING WAS WILBUR TO SAY WORD FOR WORD, VERBATIM,

"SO WHY DON'T I START AN INDUSTRY WHERE I USE THE TOMMYINNITS OF THE WORLD TO WORK FOR ME, TO CREATE THINGS THAT THE MIN-MAXERS OF THE WORLD WILL WANT."

Like... this is in no way an attempt to like hardcore villainize c!Wilbur like everyone does Dream, it's just more so to like REALLY outline how far off a lot of fandom interpretation of c!Wilbur is....

Because of SBI focused animatics.

Now, when I joined I watched A LOT of animatics that really highlighted like... Wilbur being this self-loathing JD-esque, "I destroyed it because I had to because the world was against me because no one loved us, Tommy" type of character. At least... that's what it came across as.

And it definitely highlighted the fact that Tommy was a victim, which he is. He is undoubtedly a victim and no not even any dream apologist can change my mind otherwise. Tommy, despite being an instigator sometimes, didn't deserve the abuse he received.

But these animatics never shown the fact that c!Wilbur started L'manburg as a shady ploy to exploit people like c!Tommy and vilify c!Dream so he could have power.

And that was easy because Dream and Tommy had wars before. They had spars and pranks and here's the plan to take back my disks and here's the plan to out smart the thieving little child etc etc.

And all of the animatics I watched never mentioned this. Neither did the recaps though. The recaps gave the events flat out, there didn't sound like there was bias, and honestly I don't really know if there was rather than like... a lack of nuance. And it's hard to provide a recap with that much nuance in a short period of time for a youtube video, to be perfectly fair.

However, this creates a perfect formula for entirely rewriting the history of a server. c!Wilbur quite literally fucking succeeded TO A META LEVEL. He slandered and ran smear campaigns against Dream and like he even does that with Sapnap in the beginning. But what's crazy is that it transferred over into the meta! Most of this fandom understands Wilbur as a victim of mental illness, and yeah maybe? He definitely wasn't mentally well by the end of pogtopia, but he never started out with honorable intentions. L'manburg was never a victim, only its citizens. The TommyInnits of the world.

I just think it's like... such an interesting case study. Because this is like... an opinion like shared by at least half of the fandom, but the vilifying of c!Dream is shared by MOST of the fandom I would argue. Which is like even more crazy for me because that was c!Wilbur's goal!!!

LIKE I GO INSANE WHEN I THINK OF THIS BECAUSE HIS REACH IS JUST TOO POWERFUL. HE'S NOT EVEN ENTIRELY REAL, JUST A MANIPULATIVE PERSONA OF SOME BRITISH GUY.

And I mean... maybe people who have watched Wilbur's video on the SMP still maintain this idea that Wilbur wasn't always the bad guy, but honestly... I wouldn't be surprised if their introduction was still an animatic. Like bias is hard to check and I'm not going to lie I could have sworn I watched both Wilbur's AND Tommy's video on the SMP in the beginning and yet I STILL was a ride or die for tragic yet on some level still honorable Wilbur and a resilient Tommy.

Like... upon watching Wilbur's first video... possibly again I was surprised because I thought I did watch it like right before I even started watching the streams and yet I was still so invested in c!Wilbur as this tortured anti-hero.

It took 6 months of... not being in an echo chamber, full of multiple different people of different ages, different stream POVS, and people who joined the fandom at different points in time.

IDK IF THIS WAS EVEN ENTIRELY RELEVANT IT JUST FELT TANGENTIALLY RELEVANT AND THIS WAS SOMETHING I'VE BEEN THINKING ABOUT FOR A HOT MINUTE AFTER LIKE WATCHING WILBUR'S FIRST VIDEO AGAIN.

TLDR;

SBI CENTRIC ANIMATICS HAD A LASTING AFFECT ON THIS FANDOM AS IT'S HARD TO GO BACK AND ACTUALLY CHECK THE NARRATIVE FOR SOLID FACTS FOR YOUR OWN INTERPRETATION BASED ON THE FACT THAT THIS NARRATIVE SPANS OVER HUNDREDS OF HOURS WORTH OF TWITCH STREAMS.