#bc of this and other circumstances I can't work

[rejoiceandcomplain]

.

[t-u-i-t-c]

"You're running on your own, and that makes you slow."

[narcissusneverknewme]

they wouldn't let me write the live action Disney adaptions because I would have had the best Ping you have ever seen. He and Shang would have had chemistry that took your breath away. They would be Yearning. the audience would be Yearning. it would be electric and terrifying and by marika would Mulan/Ping be hot. Shang is obsessed, the audience is obsessed. there would be hardly be a person in the attendance that doesn't Get where Shang is coming from. who wouldn't rend their clothes and scream to the heavens over Mulan/Ping. she takes no prisoners.

and yes, Shang kisses him in the snow as he cradles Ping's injured, dying body.

and yes, from the opening scene to the rolling credits he's going slowly mad.

and the first time you see Mulan she's dressed in the most feminine, floaty, light-colored dressy robes, with bone white makeup and painted lips and you fall in love with her. and there's something underneath, too. and it's so intriguing.

and then she shows up as Ping, and it takes a while to get used to, and it's kind of funny and awkward. but then it looks better and better to you. and soon you find you can hardly bear it when the camera turns away from him for even a second. and Ping isn't awkward to be around at all, he's stunning and brave and resilient and determined to be kind and you're desperately in love with him and you decide he looks incredible in the warriors' robes, actually. and his smile makes you want to kiss him. it makes Shang want to scream. and to kiss him.

and then comes the last leg. and she's got the gender-neutral robes, the "neutral" stage makeup. the loose updo. and you've never been as attracted to anyone in your life as Shang is to her. and you get it. you really, really get it. and wow the way the cuff of her sleeves and the silhouette of her robes make your heart clench. and the way her posture, her gait, make a new kind of sense. you can feel this is It. this is The Costume. you're obsessed and Shang is obsessed.

And then in the end, she's wearing pretty soft-colored robes and it makes you think for a moment that she looks like she did at the beginning. but then actually something makes her strength visible too. is it the cut of the costume? her posture? the framing of the shots? Yes it is. and you know, when Shang shows up, You know he can see it too. and he doesn't want to stop looking any more than you do. and he isn't going to even when you do.

every kid that ever watched my Mulan would recall it as Formative, like y'alls Danny Phantom but on the sickest steroids ever invented. She'd be irresistible. and so very gender.

[morrigan-sims]

Knight-Commander Theodore Marshall

Carrion's former mentor and father figure, and the commander of the Knights of the Silver Order. Just a Dad trying his best. Regrets nothing more than leaving the boy he knew as Reverence for dead. Unfortunately for him, Reverence Carrion is alive, and wants him dead...

[closeup of his face and official art reference under the cut]

[curioscurio]

Most of my sinus infection has cleared up besides the occasional cough and irritated throat but now this ear infection.... everything hurts can I please have a break before I have to go back to work just a day without pain so I can clean up my sicknest without feeling like ass

[proteuus]

my ex boyfriend keeps posting pictures of the person who I assume is his new girlfriend, because they're on some vacation together or something, and yet 1) she isn't hard launched 2) no valentine's posts, no posts for any milestones like 6 months or 1 year or etc. can't even be jealous bc that is disrespectful tbh

[britneyshakespeare]

well i didn’t get my paycheck in the mail but i did get a referral notice from my doctor saying that i can expect to see an endocrinologist... in SIX. FUCKING. MONTHS.

[curlybiter]

nsfw curly headcanons

whaddup mouthwash nation i don't normally make posts but i was sick in bed thinking abt curly all day n i got inspired by other ppl's hc posts on here ☺️ so im throwing my hat in the pile.. these are kinda disorganized but the first part is curly x long-distance reader (reader doesn't work on the tulpar), second half is more general stuff.

this post features; afab reader, cunnilingus, masturbation, various other things

when he's single it's pretty easy to get in his pants but it's embarrassingly easy for him to catch feelings for ppl he sleeps w. nd once that happens it's OVER he can't even Look at anybody else bro he is Dedicated

during hauls when he can't be with u it's rlly hard for him to get u out of his mind, esp when he's working bc there's no immediate outlet .. under normal circumstances he doesn't rlly masturbate that often, but when hes away from u it's a lot more common^^; just whenever he can get some privacy alone tbh. he prob does smth rlly lame like look at a picture of u while he does it LMFAOOOOAOA

he gets rlly pent up in the week or so before he gets home especially... once he finally gets home to u he can keep himself in check in public + around others, but once u two are alone at home he's all over u for basically the rest of the night DJFKG hope u dont have work the next day

100% service top no question. nothing turns him on more than your pleasure. he's fine w piv sex if that's what u want but honestly i think he rlly prefers to give oral/handjobs/etc. he'll make sure u cum at Least once before he gets any, especially!! when he's just got back from a haul. he likes to put off his own satisfaction as long as possible bc he tends to fall asleep after he cums but he doesnt want the night to end so quickly^^;

after hes finished getting u off he likes to hold u for awhile while u calm down.. n then he'll let u do whatever u like to him^^ i think he likes when u touch him the most, but really as long as you're enjoying it he's not too picky abt how u get him off

honestly he prob cums pretty fast bc he stays turned on for so long w/o stimulation, but he likes it when u edge him a little bit (not too much tho!)

i honestly don't think he's that much of a talker, esp while receiving. he gets too into it to form coherent words. u can try dirty talking him but u won't get much more than an enthusiastic nod or a whispered "yes" .. oh but he does love saying yes to you::3

THIS MAN WHIMPERS BTW. esp if u pull his hair while he's eating u out, it drives him crazy😭

very much an oral fixation kinda guy, he likes putting your fingers in his mouth, kissing, biting, licking, marking, anywhere he can get to but mainly ur neck/chest

SAYS I LOVE YOU DURING SEX IDC‼️ he melts if u say it too..

reaaaally really likes it when u take charge n tell him what to do, he'll follow ur every word

also into body worship, both receiving and giving. he works hard on his physique! tell him he's beautiful!! (he also thinks your body is perfect and will appreciate it at any opportunity ofc)

he is addictedddd to your voice n it's a big reason why he's so into pleasing you over himself, he lives to hear you whimper n gasp and moan for him. doesn't matter if ur loud or quiet, he loves ur voice bc it's yours

he also really likes to watch your expressions to see how he's doing, and because he thinks you look beautiful writhing under him, but!!!! he'd understand if u were a shy type who gets embarrassed easily, n he'd hide his face in ur neck or vice versa so he cant see u^^ he'd prob just verbally check on u a liiiiitle more often::3

[gay-impressionist]

Hi! I’m starting to learn French and one thing that’s both cool and weird to me is how everything is gendered in a way (referring to someone/whose saying the statement/etc.) and I was wondering how that relates to people who identity as non-binary or gender fluid in France? Are there equivalents to they/them pronouns or neo pronouns in French?

I do plan on doing my own research about this but I figured since I love your blog and you’re really open about different cultural lgbtq+ communities I’d try here first!

That's an awesome question... with a complicated answer lmao. So buckle up and bear with me !

Basically, you can't be non-binary in French. The community found ways to do it but it's not mainstream. Most of the time, they're going to get misgendered or will have to misgender themselves to get understood.

Some things I'm going to list here are not proper French. Actually, they can even be forbidden in some circumstances, according to the law (the use of inclusive language, and more specifically le point médian, was made illegal in schools in 2021 for ex) or simply because your company etc forbids it. So use this wisely, there is a time and place for inclusive language in France.

That said, things have greatly developed over the last two decades. Which was partly because of the queer community and mainly because of feminists, who are tired of the way French erases women. More and more people are using inclusive language, at least in some circumstances and circles (for ex, i wrote my master's thesis in inclusive language and it was accepted bc i was in a leftist faculty). And inclusive language is debated as a serious issue now, which is saying something.

So, how do you use inclusive language in practice?

There are different ways, as it's informal and mostly new. People are still testing new things and trying out various methods. You can stick to one or alternate or mix them up.

Pronouns

Officially, there isn't a gender neutral pronoun. We don't have an equivalent to they. You're either talking about a man or a woman. If it's both, you use masculine pronouns ("masculine trumps feminine" rule). Same thing if you don't know the gender of the person ("masculin générique").

The most common neopronoun is "iel" (plural : iels), which is obviously a contraction of the masculine pronoun "il" and its feminine equivalent "elle". It works for nb folks or to avoid talking about someone's gender or to refer to a group of men and women. So it's equally used by the queer community and feminists.

I'm pretty sure other neopronouns exist but I can't think of any at the top of my head.

Choosing the right words

Sometimes, inclusive language is just about learning to use alternatives.

Instead of using gendered words, you can choose to use gender-neutral words or words "épicènes", aka words which are identical in their feminine and masculine form. For ex, instead of "homme politique" or "femme politique", you can use "personnalité politique". Personnalité is a feminine word but it's actually gender-neutral as you can use it for women and men alike. "Élève" (student) is épicène, as a female student and a male student are both referred to as "élève". Although épicène words as a gender-neutral option only work in their plural form, as you have to choose either a feminine or masculine article for the singular ("les élèves" is inclusive but it can only be "un" or "une" élève).

As good as this method is, it can be quite limitating. Your vocabulary will be drastically reduced and it can be quite hard to master that kind of speech so you can reach the point where you don't have to think everything over for ages before you open your mouth.

With oral French, you can take it a step further by choosing words that sound the same even if they have a different spelling. Ex, friend is "ami" or "amie" but it's pronounced the same way so if you say it out loud, people can't know how you're gendering it (as long as there isn't a gendered article/word with it ofc).

It avoids misgendering people but the downside is that, as masculine is considered neutral in French, people will often think : no gender specified = masculine. Not even because they're sexist or whatever, it's just so ingrained in our brains that it's a knee-jerk reaction.

That's also why most feminists often prefer to use explicitly feminine words when talking about women. For ex, they prefer the word "autrice" to "auteure" (female writer) because the second one sounds the same as its masculine version "auteur". And as previously mentionned, out loud, people will assume by default you're talking about a man. It's a big debate though, lots of women prefer words that sound masculine - going as far as refusing to use feminine words at all! Which sounds cool and gender-bending as fuck but in reality comes from feminine words traditionally seen as less legitimate and serious. Even today, if you look up the word empress "impératrice" in a French dictionary, the first definition that comes up is "wife of an emperor". "Woman ruling a country" comes second. Using a masculine title to refer to women can also be a way to mock them and show they're not welcome (a french deputy got fined in 2014 because he called the female president of the national assembly "Madame le président" and refused to use the feminine title "Madame la présidente").

Recently the tendency and official guidelines have been to feminize words, so I'd say go with that by default, but respect other people's choice if they specify how they want to be called.

Anyway I'm getting off-track but what I meant was that in French, if you avoid talking about gender, you're automatically erasing women (and nb people). So if you want to include everyone, you need to make it obvious.

Inclusivity as a statement

The most common way to make women and men equally visible is the "point médian" rule, which you can also use to refer to non-binary people as it avoids picking a specific gender.

Basically, it means pasting together the masculine and feminine forms of a word and using dots/middle dots/hyphens/parentheses/capital letters to create an inclusive word. For ex, instead of saying acteur (♂️) or actrice (♀️) for actor, you'll write "acteur.ice". For the plural form, there are two schools of thought : either you separate the feminine and masculine form AND the suffix used to signify the plural, or you don't. Aka, "acteur.ice.s" or "acteur.ices". Personally I prefer the second option because less dots makes it easier to read and faster to write, but it's an individual choice, both work.

There are two major downsides to this method : it only works in writing + it isn't doable for every word, as feminine and masculine words can be quite different and pasting them together that way would be unintelligible. Ex, "copain" and "copine" (friend or boyfriend/girlfriend depending on the context) would give something like "cop.ain.ine"...

You can work around that by choosing alternative words (as previously stated!). And it's still a pretty good method, especially as it works for any type of word (adjectives etc). Some people argue that it's hard to read and ugly but personally I think it's just a matter of habit (although it does pose a problem for people using screen readers). Be aware that it is the most controversial version of inclusive writing, as it's the furthest structure from how languages typically work.

If you don't like dots or want an alternative for oral speech, you can also straight up create new words that sound both feminine and masculine, making them gender-neutral. To use the previous example, "copain" and "copine" become "copaine".

Obviously, this only works if it's obvious which words they're based on. I think it's a great way to make French more inclusive but I'd advise against using it with uninitiated people as it would probably confuse them more than anything. This method is still quite niche.

An inclusive, yet binary language

As you've probably figured out, inclusive language remains quite binary in the way we approach it. It's more about making things both masculine and feminine than transcending gender and creating gender-neutral alternatives. Probably because inclusive language was more often a will to stop women from being erased rather than a non-binary friendly gesture.

Which means, there are also some rules that were created to avoid the "masculine trumps feminine rule" but don't allow room for non-binarity at all. I'll still explain them because they're interesting and you might encounter them at some point.

The proximity rule ("règle de proximité") is one of these. It existed in Ancient Greek and Latin but was dropped in Modern French in favor of the masculine trumps feminine rule. Basically, you gender things according to what's closest in the sentence instead of systematically using masculine words to gender a mixed group. For ex, instead of saying "Les hommes et les femmes sont beaux" you say "Les hommes et les femmes sont belles", as the subject "femmes" is closer to the adjective "beau/belle" than "hommes".

Another method is to systematically use both masculine and feminine words (which I personally find excruciating to write and read). Meaning, instead of writing "Les étudiants mangent à la cantine" (students eat at the cafeteria), you'll write "Les étudiantes et les étudiants mangent à la cantine".

This is mainly for the subject of the sentence : adjectives and such are gendered according to the masculine trumps feminine rule. The point is to explicitly include women, not to make the sentence unintelligible or gender-neutral.

When following this method, you also have to pay attention to whether you put the feminine subject first or the masculine. The rule is to follow alphabetical order. For ex, in "l'égalité entre les femmes et les hommes", "femmes" comes first because F comes before H. But in "Les auteurs et les autrices de roman", "auteurs" comes first because E comes before R. Etc.

This method is common as it's the only inclusive language you can get away with, given that it's a valid way of speaking French. It's even mandatory in some situations now, like in job descriptions for the french administration, in the spirit of gender equality.

So, how do I gender a non-binary person?

In short, you can use the pronoun iel + avoid gendered words and/or use the point médian and/or make up new words.

But keep in mind that if you're not talking to someone familiar with these rules, you'll have some explaining to do. And looots of people are still very anti inclusive language, because they're sexist and/or transphobic, ignorant, language purists, etc. A few years ago it was the thing to be angry about for conservatives and anti-feminists so it's still very controversial. But if you're in a trans inclusive queer space or talking with intersectionnal leftists, go for it !

I hope I covered everything (fellow french, don't hesitate to comment!) and didn't put you to sleep lmao. If you want to see some examples, you can look it up on Wikipedia or check #bagaitte on tumblr (it's the french queer tag) 😉

[castielsparkle]

hey guys im sorry to e-beg so much but i unfortunately have had no money for awhile and i can't go any longer without asking for financial help bc i have payments due and i need basic necessities that i haven't been able to buy in a while.

i was working two jobs, now have neither bc of health complications (physical and mental) as well as the second job just becoming money for transport to the first job bc i can't drive. i was walking to the second job but the first was only accessible by car. on top of this, i was experiencing mental strain while working the second job, as it was across from a building i'd previously had to leave for my own wellbeing because i was being harassed by one manager and assaulted extensively by another. the second job also had an hour walk commute each way on foot, which was very taxing as i have chronic pain. i have been out of my medications for about a week now as well, and i spent the last money i had, which was thankfully given to me by some lovely friends, on food for my cats, and a ride home from being with a loved one in the er. my meds help treat a variety of mental illnesses i struggle with, as well as physical pain, and i am also out of hrt supplies. i also have been having troubles w accessing my own money bc of it being withheld by companies i am still trying to sort out rn. (for example i just got done dealing w/ an issue selling a concert ticket i'd bought a year ago in advance, unfortunately through circumstances that had nothing to do w/ the company, me, the customer, or the mail service i used, the tickets had trouble in the mail. due to this i was not able to make the ~300 dollars i sold the ticket for [retail price 400+ when i bought it over a yr ago] but also i was penalized the charge of a replacement ticket incorrectly and didn't receive back the 220+ usd they took for that for weeks. i'm having similar unfortunate issues happening w/ other places still and have no clue when, or if, i will get my money back at all)

i am open for commissions of all sorts + design customs + i have adopts if anyone is interested. please message me/mention on this post if you'd like commission work. these are open whenever unless specified otherwise - however, the payments i have to make are due within about a day (as of 11/11/2024) so i am really scrambling right now.

i'm so sorry again to ask. i don't want anyone going broke trying to help me of course tho, i am not entitled to anything and please only send anything if you can without worry. also even just interacting means the world, tysm 💙🫂 hope you all are well

ca/vm: luvrwulf

pp: darklydreaaming

('dreaaming' with two a's)

[ilanarose7]

Some outcomes of Critical Role episode 91 (that happened either because of or completely separate from the big thing)

SPOILERS!!!! YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!!!

Starting with the ones not due to FCG's sacrifice:

Liliana has some level of trust and attempts at redemption with her daughter (those 31's on deception and persuasion Laura you legend!), which means a major player (and VESSEL?? tf was that about) who was formerly (and maybe kind of still) on Ludinus's side is swapping over

Ashton and Fearne are about to be exhausted from being Titans (Ashton much sooner since they powered up in ep. 90)

Zathuda is both proud and angry towards Fearne which is both terrifying and a bit heartwarming(?)

Nana (I think/hope it was her bending fate) was able to help Team Infiltration escape the Weavemind after Orym reached out

Now for the other outcomes due to FCG's sacrifice:

Orym's deal with Nana should be void since the group cannot return as they were (VM Spoiler Note: Liam's PC was finally saved from a deal leading to a life of service by Sam's PC after he wasn't able to in C1)

Chetney is ALIVE! I'm counting this as part of the sacrifice bc due to weird leveling circumstances Sam sacrificed his one brand-new 7th-level spell slot to take Revivify, which is a major thing to give up

Otohan is DEAD! GONE! That is a MAJOR player off the board and another one of Ludinus's high-ranking members off the board

FCG is dead, seemingly unrevivable based on how Matt phrased it (asking to make sure Sam understood what it meant). That will have MAJOR implications going forward.

On a D&D technical level, there is no primary healer meaning that Fearne has to take some healing spells or the party can't heal at all (pretty sure they used up all their potions during that fight).

On a character level, this is going to be devastating. Ashton, who started this whole adventure with FCG and has been saying for a LONG time that FCG was going to get themself killed, was unconscious when FCG made the ultimate sacrifice. Sending works, which means when they get back to Exandria, Imogen will probably be the one to let FRIDA know what happened.

On a slightly lighter note, I feel like Travis is going to shine next week. It's been said before and I'll say it again, Chetney is the heart of Bells Hells. He knows how to be there for this family and I have a feeling that will come to the forefront as we see the aftermath

I'm sure there are more outcomes, but these are the ones on my mind after barely sleeping last night following that episode. Sam knows how to play this game well and cuts straight to the heart while doing so. It was masterfully played and while completely devastating to watch, was also incredibly heroic and beautiful.

Good game, great players, amazing DM, and of course thank you Fresh Cut Grass for being a Faithful Care-Giver until the end

[skitskatdacat63]

One makes him up, so the other can break him down.

This is a little terrifying but hello!! Posted my first fic on ao3!! I would've saved the illustrations for the fic's eyes only, but I'm too happy with them haha. Hope you'll still go on to read regardless!!

As always, my thoughts and progress, since I can't help myself:

I'm soooooo proud of these. I never ever really do dramatic lighting, so I'm really surprised that I pulled it off.

It's surreal actually posting this because for a while, I've thought about how if I ever post a fic, I'll have to make illustrations too because I can't do anything not full force. Look at me now! I'm shocked. Also didn't think I'd finish it tonight, but here it sits before you nevertheless(though as always, I'm writing this past my bedtime before class, time efficient as always.) So with that being said, here are some notes, though if I had known I'd be writing this so soon, I would've prepared more lol.

First of all, I hope it's clear both of these are Mark's perception. Gah, the fact that his face is the only one you can see clearly. The first is obviously him unwillingly fantasizing about what exactly went down last night.

Aghhhhh the difference in colors and settings of the two drawings is so important to me. The warmth and intimacy of the bed behind curtains in the first one, and the coldness and openess of the second. It's so clear Mark feels like he's been distanced, like he's been ousted. It's like he's been thrown outside on a cold winter's day, no longer able to feel the heat from the comfortable warm stove inside.

Mark was probably assigned to Seb bcs he has a much greater appreciation for the Spanish etiquette, which Seb has very little interest in. He'll abide by it when he absolutely has to. But he's just a very non-typical Emperor. People find it charming so it's not a public death sentence for him, but it is an issue. Thus, Mark is there to keep him in line. Though important to note that when Fernando, who has an equal if not greater respect for the showmanship of etiquette, realizes Mark is interested in that as well, they start warming up to each other.

The inherent disrespect of Fernando just. Throwing Seb's clothing onto the floor. Meanwhile he probably took like, 20 minutes folding his up(that's what Seb was gonna tell Mark at the end of the fic.) Borderline ripping off Seb's clothes only to edge him. Its not even like the ripping off the clothes is because of passion or anything, he's deliberately being an asshole. Don't worry Nandl, Seb's turned on by it!

So sorry to marknando fans if their dynamic feels like a complete 180 haha. Its not like I'm like, they actually hate each other!! It's just their relationship under completely different circumstances. They're like two dogs in a dog fight, they don't have any real reason to hate each other, but they're put against each other regardless. They don't understand their hatred, just know that they have it and that they're supposed to have it. The inherent hatred the mistress has for the spouse, and vice versa. If they actually were able to talk without barriers, they'd realize they actually get along pretty well. They kinda just hate each other because of their respective relationships to Seb. And then there's Seb who's mostly completely oblivious to his effect, though of course plays with it a bit.

Seb's marriage completely recontextualizes their relationship in Mark's eyes. Though there's something incredibly sado-masochistic about the way he can't blame Seb for it at all. He's a loyal dog after all. But when it was just them, he was obviously Seb's main companion and lover. Seb definitely slept with people on the side, but Mark brushed that off: 1. Bcs its very period typical. 2. He was the main, they were the side, what more needs to be said! But now *he's* the side piece, and is left wondering if their relationship was down to proximity alone. Not to pull a Mark and completely excuse Seb, but it's not. Just very different perceptions of love and relationships. And again, as I've mentioned before, he was raised to always be the most important person in the room, so he obviously has very different understandings, especially since he's always the center.

NANDL!!!!!! In my Habsburg book I've been reading lately, they randomly referred to one of them affectionately as "Nandl" and it's stuck in my head ever since. Can we start a movement to canonize that as an official Fernando nickname? I'm sooooo fond of it, I litrally ended the fic that way just so I could shoehorn that nickname in.

Speaking of the ending. It was really tough, I almost wanted to have Fernando burst in, looking for his ring, and then coming across whatever that is. But I didn't want to disrupt their moment anymore, it felt cruel. Though shame I couldn't mention that the reason why Seb's pants are nowhere to be found is because Fernando accidentally put them on and didn't realize till he was out of the room.

*I FORGOT TO POINT OUT ONE OF MY FAVORITE PARTS! Truly the danger of writing a post while falling asleep. There's something so incredibly funny to me the way they're talking so refined and then Seb just throws out: "that guy." It's a way to show his own disrespect of Fernando, not even using his name, implying he's just some guy(nur ein Kerl.) I laughed writing it cause it reminds me of the random dry humor anecdotes I've read lately.

[nightlyrequiem]

Hello, so I was wondering if you could do a fic where the reader and Valeria are in an on again off again relationship. They obviously love each other very much but the circumstances of Valeria's life and occupation just make it hard to have a stable relationship but they both do try to make it work though.

I absolutely can!

I like messy relationships. Complicated relationships. Gives me angst and fluff (Depending on the situation.)

Realistically, I think this would be how being in a relationship with Valeria would be like. On and off again and so much fighting. It's okay though bc it's Valeria

Tags/Warnings: Light Angst, Mildly Happy Ending, Complicated Relationship, Making Compromises

Complications

Valeria is a hurricane and the calm that comes after it. A candle and it's flame. The flame will melt the candle down to nothing and burn itself out of existence. You slam the door to your apartment shut. Furious and certain that this is the last time. You swear it. You can't stand Valeria. So bullheaded. She takes any kind of criticism as a personal attack. You wipe your eyes and walk into the kitchen, grabbing a bottle of water and chugging it. She insists on putting herself in danger every day and can't seem to understand why you seem to have an issue with that.

She doesn't know that you're plagued with nightmares about her dying. Always just out of reach, cold and alone. Screams you've never heard echoing in your ears after you jolt awake. She doesn't hear you as you get up and move to the bathroom to cry without disturbing her. It's a never-ending fight. One you've had before, and it always ends the same way. You're not sure why you even bother trying to talk to her about it. You can't even bring up wanting her to be safer without her blowing up at you.

Not only are you always worried about her, but you're also always lonely. Whatever it is she does at work keeps her there for most of the night every night. You eat most meals alone and you go to bed alone in the too-big bed. You're tired of being worried about someone who seems to not hold any grievances towards putting themselves in danger. The fact that you kept your apartment in case of you two breaking up again should be a sign, a blaring, bright red one, that things just aren't going to work out between the two of you.

As you lay awake in your own bed that night, you're overcome by guilt for leaving. You know Valeria isn't putting herself in danger and avoiding you because she wants to. It's apart of her job. Many times she did manage to make it home before you went to bed she collapsed in your arms. Silent but heavy. The stress of her life clearly taking a toll on her. Those nights you stayed up with her, soothing her with whispered words and physical touch.

You wonder how often she needs those things during the periods of time where you are broken up. Does she run herself a hot bath and pretend the warmth is from you or does she go straight to bed with a heavy heart? You're not privy to that information. Valeria has never told you what she does and you feel weird asking. You turn over with a sigh. Is Valeria also struggling to fall asleep? Your thoughts are on Valeria when you finally drift away early into the morning.

Valeria can't focus on what Diego is saying. She can't bring herself to care about what he's saying. 

"-Shipment to Colombia, there's a team waiting." He says.

"Hm." Valeria acknowledges with little enthusiasm.

"And the shipment to Brazil went over smoothly-"

"So why are you telling me about it?" Valeria asks, voice deceptively calm. Though anyone paying attention would be able to see the agitation rolling off of her in waves.

Diego stops talking. Having spent enough time around her to sniff out when things are getting dangerous. If he keeps speaking, he'll enter Valeria's 'red zone.' Such a volatile and violent woman. Valeria narrows her eyes and slowly encroaches on him.

"If something is going over the way it needs to-" She grits out. "then I don't need you to fucking tell me."

Diego backs up and nods. He doesn't say anything, but he knows something happened between the two of you. Valeria has always been a private person but having worked so closely with her for years he's managed to gleam a small amount of trust from her. Enough to have learned about you.

Whenever the two of you separated, work became a lot less pleasant. And considering Valeria has been on the war path for weeks, Diego thinks it's safe to assume that you two have called it quits again. Something, for whatever reason stops him in the doorway. He turns and hesitates. Working so closely with her also had the side effect of him caring, just a little bit.

"Is everything alright?" He asks, knowing that prying is likely to just piss her off even more.

Valeria stiffens and glowers at him. "I'm great."

She's like a dog showing the first signs that it's going to bite. Raised fur and bared teeth.

"... They'll come back." He says stiffly. "Partners leave but they come back."

Valeria looks like she's about to lunge at him for a few seconds. She sighs and her shoulders slump. Raising a hand to rub at her face she replies.

"I don't think they will." She mutters before she straightens and scowls. "It's none of your concern anyway. Go do something useful and leave me alone."

Diego leaves and in a flash of anger, Valeria grabs the nearest object and hurls it at the wall. The result isn't very satisfying as it was a simple little lighter. She stays late. Later than usual and later than she needs to. She has always considered herself to be solitary and independent, but she's grown used to having someone around. Valeria used to love having the house to herself but now it's just lonely. 

Avoiding it will only work for so long though. Valeria has to go home eventually. She pushes open the door and steps inside, greeted by silence. It's incredibly late. 4:56AM. You should be standing in the hall with a hand on your hip, ready to argue with her over it. She hated that. The arguing. It's the last thing Valeria wanted to do after a long, awful day but you could never let things go. Now she'd gladly listen to you yell and chastise her if it meant she could hear your voice again.

It's only because you care. Valeria knows that. You aren't trying to control her you just love her and worry about her. And, like she always does, she's driven you away. Chose the Cartel over you, like she's done many times before. She doesn't want to do that. Doesn't want to lose you. She has a choice to make, and she decides to make it.

Knuckles rap against your door loudly. Disturbing your peace. You set down the shirt you were folding and get up, going up to the old door and peering out the peephole. Not that surprised to see Valeria standing there stiffly. It's all a part of the cycle, after all. You're tempted to not open the door, pretend you aren't home and let her walk away without ever speaking to her. You know her better than that though. She'll sit outside your door, waiting.

You quickly adjust yourself and open the door. Determined that things won't repeat themselves again. 

"Hey." Valeria says, face immediately softening and you hate it.

"Hey." You mutter. Silence settles between the two of you like a spectator. Her eyes dart over your face. "Can I come in?"

You think about it. Tempted to say no, but she's wearing a shirt that shows off her toned arms and tattoos, and she's a little sweaty from the heatwave. And despite your better judgement, you're thinking with your heart, not your head. "Sure." You relent, turning and giving her room to walk in.

She looks around your space. Then at you.

"I miss you." Valeria admits. You're impressed, it usually takes a small argument before she says that.

"... Okay." You respond. You miss her too, but you don't think she deserves to hear those words. You also don't want to utter them for fear that it will be the catalyst for you going back to her again. As if you haven't already pushed forth the first domino by letting her inside your home.

A frown graces her features.

"We can't keep doing this." She says. Looking at you closely.

You wrap your arms around yourself. "I know." You murmur. Suddenly afraid that maybe this really is the last time. You're not as ready to let her go as you thought you were.

"I'll..." She trails off and frowns. Looking as uncomfortable as you've ever seen her. "I'll be better." She promises. Reaching out and unfolding your arms, holding your hands in hers.

Your frown deepens as your hit with longing.

"You said that last time." You murmur softly.

Valeria closes her eyes and rests her forehead against yours. Breathing in your air. "I know, but I mean it this time." She whispers. "I'll come home at an agreed time and take breaks to text you. I'll make more time for you."

"You'll be safer?" You ask.

Valeria takes a moment to respond. "I can't promise that, amor."

"Valeria-"

"I can't." She interrupts. Leaning back to look at you.

You look upon the face of the woman you love. Not your other half but your other whole. You've imagined that face looking up at you from a coffin. Her dying is a real possibility. She's your other whole but when she dies she'll take half of you with her. Leaving you incomplete for the rest of your lonely existence.

"Why do you want to put me through that?" You ask angrily. "Why would you risk yourself when you know what it will do to me? Why?"

Your voice rises and Valeria pulls you into her chest. protecting you with her warmth. "Because as much as I'm your person I'm also my own person." She whispers into your hair.

You close your eyes, saltine tears squeezing themselves out from beneath your eyelids.

"This is my job. My livelihood." She continues gently. "I know the risks, I've had to claw my way up from the bottom to get to where I am, and I like being where I am. I like what I do."

You exhale. "I know."

"It's not fair to ask me to give that up."

"I know."

You pull away and wipe your eyes. Valeria grabs your hands gently and lowers them.

"I'll do things differently, but I won't give up what I've worked so hard for." Valeria says. Wiping your eyes for you.

"Okay." You relent. Deciding that it's good enough for you if it means you get to keep her in your life for just a little while longer. She kisses your forehead.

"Have more faith in me." She says. "It's going to take a lot to kill me."

You avert your gaze. People always think they're immortal until death catches up to them. "Let's go home."

[cursedvida]

It's really crazy to me to see the hate Mae gets, like I was reading some reviews and I can understand not liking a character but as soon as they start with the name calling their opinion is invalid to me because they have no reason to be calling her a bitch, among other things, like it just reeks of mysogyny, (it's like they just want an excuse to call women names) and seeing it coming from other girls makes it worse like..

"Oh the girl was such a bitch why did she do that 🙄" ..is it really that hard to think for a moment about the circumstances in which mae was raised?? Do they need it spell it out for them?? Like, c'mon guys do you really think that the people trapped in a bunker for generations have anything nice to teach/say about the apes?? Wes Ball please give us Mae's backstory in the sequel!! Your audience needs it bc they are out there calling Mae the real villain and saying Proximus was right 💀 (when he was literally everything Caesar hated in an ape)

Look, I'm usually a polite person when expressing my opinions, but I'm fed up with the hate towards Mae, basically because the arguments people give seem incredibly basic to me, typical of people with little to no understanding. Sometimes I doubt if these people have watched the same movie as me or maybe they have some sort of cognitive dissonance, but seriously, I find them ridiculous. Either that, or they are basically the typical comments from misogynistic guys or women with internalized misogyny who can't stand morally gray and questionable female characters.

And well, having said that, I'm going to present my doctoral thesis on this topic:

One of the things I've seen the most is people saying that Mae is evil, the true villain, or an ungrateful traitor to Noa. This argument seems quite incomprehensible to me because, even though we don't have much data about her, I believe there's something very important that explains why she acts as she does: the Proximus apes killed the people in her group, including her mother. I mean: her damn mother. If we add to that the UNDERSTANDING (I mean, you have to be very short-minded not to assume something so obvious) that she has been raised in an environment where they've probably told her all her life that the apes are the reason for all the evils of humanity and the main reason why humans live in shitty conditions, I think anyone with half a brain has enough information to understand why she does what she does.

Yes, Noa is a good guy, but he's not helping her. Noa and Mae have a common goal and decide to ally themselves momentarily to achieve that goal, which is to reach Proximus. As much as they've formed a bond throughout the story, it's not yet strong enough for Mae to set aside what she has worked for so hard. Mae not only bears the weight of humanity on her shoulders but also emotionally carries the idea that she, as the sole survivor of her group, must complete the mission at all costs. Are those who criticize her telling me that if they truly thought that with certain actions they could not only save their species but also honor their loved ones who have been killed infront their eyes, they wouldn't do them? And that they wouldn't do them for someone they've just met, no matter how much they like them? That's just not realistic, it makes no sense. We would all do the same as Mae in her situation. I mean, I have no doubts.

Another thing I love is when they say she's the "true villain" as if it weren't clear enough that she feels bad every time since she forms a bond with Raka and Noa when she does something that she knows may harm them. She feels pain for Raka's death and clearly, you can also see the conflict and remorse when she detonates the bomb. It's not something she enjoys doing, but she HAS to do it. In the final scene, even though she's carrying a gun, you can also clearly see her in conflict with herself. Clearly, she doesn't want to kill him. Clearly, she has nothing against Noa, and this is evident when she finally accepts the necklace and they even shake hands. You can't tell me that's the attitude of a villain, narratively it's not presented as such, and seeing it that way is to have understood nothing.

Mae is a complex character whose life is based on survival, she's no different from the characters we're used to loving and idolizing in other post-apocalyptic series, the difference here for me is that she's human and humans have to be bad by default and also that she's a woman. Because female characters always have to be the support, the romantic interest, or the unconditional friends of heroic male characters, and Mae is none of that. Mae is a character with her own story and ambitions that go beyond Noa's plot. Mae has her own plot, and it seems that's something that bothers people a lot.

I'm sorry, but the hate towards Mae seems very similar to the one people had for Sansa Stark in Game of Thrones, which basically stemmed from people being misogynistic and hating complex and imperfect female characters, combined with how much they hate seeing protagonist characters with such human and real characteristics that they can't bear the idea of seeing themselves reflected in them.

But hey, for Sansa Stark, I would have killed, and now for Mae too. Mae haters basically DNI

[reignpage]

k so I read a jjk one shot about pegging nanami and toji and my mind wandered. how would the eden au men react to being asked to be pegged? bc lowkey I feel like gojo would be so down for it...

gojo:

ecstatic. enthusiastic yes. buys her a black strap. asks geto and Nanami's reader for advice, and they're just like bruh keep us out of this. he has a great time. it's a lot of work so it stays as a special occasion thing.

geto:

no. and reader wouldn't ask. she'd be aghast. jokingly punishes her for asking with a spanking

choso:

confused. doesn't really understand why she would want that but he'll do it if it makes her happy. he does enjoy it, but it's more the humiliation and the ability to please reader that gets him going.

toji:

lol

nanami:

he has a serious conversation with her about the process and what it involves and asks her lots of questions. she breaks out laughing and tells him she's joking. he gives her a disappointed look but does let out a sight of relief

sukuna:

surprisingly he would actually do it. but only for reader, and under very specific circumstances. since they're both competitive, they'd fight each other for who take sit up the ass. so it's either, reader wins the right to peg, or if reader weaponises their past against him. really lays it on thickkkkkk and then he'll go, fuck you can't keep holding that shit against me, well fucking hurry up then

[mins-fins]

ANGEL EYES. — [L.MH] [PREVIEW]

❝ sometimes, it feels as if mark lee is your guardian angel ❞

SYNOPSIS: innocent cherub eyes, gently soft hands, a heart of gold, mark lee is the golden boy whose experienced as much love as he gives back. his grades are high, his smile is wide, and his laughter is sweet. the only reason mark lee gets embroiled in a world of trouble is because of his pairing with the 'messed up foster kid' in a school project. it would be stupid to ever let himself get involved, but mark does anyway.

PAIRING: mark lee x male!reader

GENRE: mid–2000s au, high school au, strangers to lovers, fluff, angst, hurt/comfort, humor(?), slow burn, one sided pining to mutual pining, sadness as a romantic segway, relationship study, reader is a foster kid, mark pov, happy ending.. (i suppose)

WARNINGS: swearing, explicit language, violence, drug abuse, child abuse & neglect, family issues, mentions of death, smoking, homophobia, reader simply has the worst time and mark sobs about his circumstances, an awful amount of love that isn't realized to be love

WORD COUNT: 2.7k (preview) | ..pending (full fic)

NOTES: hello everyone, this is my baby, the birth was very special, i love my baby so much 💗 listen! i started this in early august and i am STILL going, this going to be LONG.. longest mins-fins work ever long 😞 im estimating 30–40k, the power of mark lee yall 😇 it's going to go on forever, and it's definitely going to be sad in some ways, i am currently about to hit 20k words.. sooooiooooo 😊😊 i hope you like this preview bc i really dk when the real thing is coming out 😭😭 im in so much pain rn, let me nap now 😴

BEFORE IT WAS IN THE CRISP AUTUMN ATMOSPHERE, mark lee had met you at the local police station. it was only a few months prior, august of 2004 brought the prospect of donghyuck doing everything to try and get arrested, prospects that mark could only respond with under the breath swears. he loves donghyuck, he really does, but driving shouldn't have been his first choice. in all of the friendships mark has had with other people in his life, donghyuck has always brought a wave of chaos along with him, the exact opposite of who mark's mom would advise him to stay away from, but she'd always had a soft spot for him, mark can't exactly blame her.

fresh off turning seventeen and utterly clueless as to what the future would bring, mark only found himself at the police station for one reason. donghyuck had driven without a license. yep, sixteen years old and he assumed doing an illegal u-turn was the way to end his summer.

mark has always been a stand up kid. the kind who handed out his mom's cookies to the neighbors. the kind who called for stray cats in alleyways. the kind who was simply an innocent bystander to all the bullshit his friends would pull.

so when donghyuck called him from a jail phone, voice heightened in indignation as he begged for mark to come make a case for him, the older really had no choice but to do so. mark had never been to a police station before, afraid of catching sight of real criminals in the flesh by just walking past the building. he had heard too many scary stories, had terrible ideas of human beings planted in his head.

and even as a seventeen year old who had experienced life enough that such things shouldn't have terrified him anymore, there was still a small pit in his stomach as he rounded the corner in direction of the building.

"and how exactly am i supposed to bail you out?" an eyebrow raise accompanied mark's inquiry, and donghyuck scoffed as he shook his cuffed hands.

"you don't have to bail me out, my dad knows the sheriff, i'm just getting off with a warning" he whispered, sweat on his brow as he shared that familiar 'no shit' look with mark (an ironic expression really, he's the only one between the two of them that's been in cuffs).

mark snickered. "you talk so much when you're the one handcuffed".

"watch your mouth, you need me".

just as donghyuck was about to let out a swear in addition to his snappy response, said sheriff walked into the room, tight lipped smile painting his face. "don't try that again donghyuck, or next time you'll end up in a cell".

in a instant, donghyuck's blood ran cold, mark almost laughed at the sight, but he remained still, watching. the older man glanced up, catching mark's anxiety ridden eyes. "and you are?"

"this is mark, my best friend" donghyuck was quick to quip, a hand placed onto his shoulder.

mark's stomach dropped to his feet, it isn't as if he did anything wrong, it was simply on par for him to be severely anxious around law enforcement in general, he was just afraid he'd somehow get arrested for nothing at all.

"ohhh i remember you, i used to assume you two were brothers".

mark let out a breathy (and clearly faked) chuckle, trying to bury his anxiety. he could never explain it, even if you gave him all the words to, it's not like he's a bad kid, he just finds himself tensing often. "no, just friends.."

"it's good to have someone so close as support" he narrowed his eyes at donghyuck, who stifled his scoff at the clear sarcasm lacing his tone. he then scrunched his nose, watching as donghyuck placed a performative smile on his lips. "now you, sir, we need to have a talk".

donghyuck frowned, whining out complaints as he's dragged away by the sheriff. "can you wait, mark?"

mark blinked, shoving his hands into his pant pockets. he nodded, out of words. the two bantered back and forth like friends, something mark could only stare idly at. he made his way over to the seats beside the door, where, nestled in the corner of one of them, was you.

you were scribbling something into your notebook, unaware of the eyes on you. mark sat two chairs away from you, tapping his feet onto the floor as he heard the faint sounds of scoldings. safe driving, don't get into a car without a license, your future won't be any better if you continue this shit.

swearing at a child, mark found that rich. he glances beside him again, now watching you intently. you were engrossed in the manner your pen scratched against your paper, mark had figured out through endless staring that you hadn't been writing, but drawing.

you avoided his eyes for a while, ignorant to the eyes gazing you up and down. you then glanced in mark's direction, almost startling him out of his seat with the sudden stare. you blinked, puzzled out of your mind. "is there something on my face?"

mark tensed in his seat, feeling his stomach swirl, was he staring so much that you felt offended? he felt guilty immediately, his lips parting immediately and releasing a silent breath. "no.. no i'm sorry, i didn't mean to".

you shrugged your shoulders, one click to your pen. mark recognized you, but he simply couldn't conjure up an explanation as to why you were sitting in a police station at this time, drawing whatever into your notebook. "so why are you staring then?"

"i'm trying to figure out why you're here" mark muttered, fingers fiddling with his necklace as he tried to get his tone straight in fear of again offending you. "i'm sure you aren't committing crimes".

"i can say the same for you, mr golden boy".

mark's lips turned up slightly, his hands twitching from where they rested on his lips. "i got kicked out.. always come here to let dad and mom cool off for a few hours".

the words earned an eyebrow raise from mark, that was strange to hear, especially from another person in regards to their own parents. mark had never really experienced such a thing, the way you described it made his nose scrunch. "what?"

before you could respond to that one, a police officer entered the room, one you seemed to recognize by the way your eyes lit up. "come on l/n, time to go".

a frown settled onto your lips. "do i really have to go now? you know how my parents are.."

"i can't keep you here, it would technically be illegal".

"it's not like they'll care anyway.." you mumbled, slamming your notebook shut with yet another click to your pen. "just an hour longer, please?"

there was a sense of hope in your eyes, maybe he would actually take your words into account. mark simply stared, staggered by what he was witnessing. the officer watched the change of your expressions, your thumb playing at the button on your pen, continuously clicking over and over. as the clicks amplified, so did the sound of your labored breathing.

"you know i can't do that kid".

your frown deepened, teeth sinking into your bottom lip. worry, that's what mark remembered. your eyes widened, but not in the usual shock, simply in disappointment. you cursed under your breath, muttering something about your parents getting pissed at your reappearance. you stopped clicking your pen, letting the chagrin settle onto you. "yeah.."

you sucked your teeth, imitating the look of a sulky child. mark was consumed by his silence, completely confused by the situation. he didn't give a comment, simply watched the whole entire thing happen. "i'll give you a few minutes, don't worry".

you didn't respond to that one, your eyes following the police officer who strolled out the door towards his car. you bit into your lip again, hands grasping onto your notebook and thumb still pressing onto your pen. "what bullshit".

mark continued staring, his hands clutching at his thighs. you then glanced at him once more, causing for him to flinch back. you stayed silent, watching him as much as he did you a few minutes prior.

"are you alright?" he muttered, leaving his voice at a low volume. he didn't want to raise it, he wanted to keep it at a volume that kept you comfortable.

you snickered, clicking your tongue against the roof of your mouth. "fine, going home is just my worst nightmare".

mark's fingers found themselves sliding across his legs, teeth sliding against each other in back and forth motions. he blinked his big brown eyes, staring with an assured gaze he hoped would somehow make it's way to you. "i'm sorry".

he whispered those two words as if he was in physical pain, eyes watering for an inexplainable moment. he couldn't help it, and he had no idea why he couldn't help it. it was embarrassing how much he felt at the moment.

you stared back, lips pursuing. your expressions did at least seventy transformations, as if you were in disbelief at someone having empathy for you. you seemed distraught, why is he tearing up? that's so strange.

you chuckled, hoping it would quell his worries. "it's okay, not like it's your fault".

"still, you shouldn't have to feel that way about going home.. your parents shouldn't be kicking you out".

you grimaced, put off by the words. it isn't as if they were terrible, you just seemed.. astonished. why did he care? it was simply weird to you.

"well thank you for your concern but i'll be fine".

mark blinked away the tears threatening to escape his eyes, god what was wrong with him? why did he even tear up at that? he totally weirded you out.

"yeah um.. i'm sorry" mark bit into his inner cheek, letting out a heavy sigh. "just have a good day" a theatric smile placed itself on his lips, he was definitely trying to convince himself that it wasn't that bad of a situation.

you stared longer, seemingly itching to say something. there were words resting on the tip of your tongue, mark could practically sense it. "yeah, you too".

and when you stood up to walk out of the door, donghyuck coincidentally escaped the clutches of the sheriff, stumbling out of his office with his arms crossed over his chest. the door closed behind you, and mark watched the entire time.

"what took you so long?" mark uttered, eyes casting donghyuck's way.

the younger huffed in his usual donghyuck manner, hands on his hips. "he was giving me a big talk about safe driving" he placed heavy air quotes around the last two words, lips curled into a frown.

mark licked his teeth, his thoughts retracing back to you. "do you know him..?"

donghyuck blinked, his mouth opening to ask about who until he saw the way mark motioned his head. "y/n? oh yeah, he's around here all the time, the officers basically take him in whenever.."

"why?"

his voice scratched like sandpaper, donghyuck wincing at the tone. he then shrugged his shoulders, his attitude puzzled. "something about his parents not really caring, it's pretty shitty".

mark's lips parted in a freezing motion, his stomach pain only worsening. "that's scary.. feeling safer at the police station than your own home".

"i don't know much about his situation, just know his parents have a terrible temper".

mark swallowed the lump in his throat, his head beginning to pound at the information given. he tried to distract himself by thinking about school coming up soon, but he was snapped back into reality by donghyuck.

"why are you even asking me about y/n?"

mark glanced up at his childhood friend, a small whisper in his mind telling him to lie. "just curious that's all".

the lie laid bitter on his tongue, but he didn't allow for donghyuck to dwell on it, rising from the chair he's practically glued himself to. "promise me you'll never illegally drive again, the officers here look like they wanna kill me".

donghyuck rolled his eyes, tease evident in his attitude. "okay markie, promise".

mark pushed his shoulder in retaliation.

that? that was two months ago.

before the crisp autumn weather drifted through the atmosphere, before the leaves began falling to decorate the ground in orange and brown hues, mark lee had met you at the local police station. your legs crossed, pen clicking, and nose buried into your notebook.

september came and went rather quickly, the scorching heat of the summer air transforming into the russet autumn scenery which drifts into october. the temperature steadily dropping, sweaters becoming more and more common in his closet, mark can't exactly focus in class during the first few months of school.

when mark hears his name fall from his teacher's lips in pair with yours, he snaps out of an episode of disassociation, blinking up. "what?"

his teacher deadpanned, readjusting her glasses. she doesn't even seem surprised by his lack of focus anymore, his exhaustion is constantly evident. "project partners mark, you'll be paired with y/n".

mark only parts his lips in response, the words rendering him speechless. he glances around the classroom as he listens to the older woman's voice blurs into the background, catching sight of you in the far back, again scribbling into your notebook, your manner reminiscent of how you acted the first time you two met.

he stares for a while before again looking forward, his mouth going dry as he tries again to focus, but of course, he can't. his mind stays focused on you throughout the whole class, even after the endless words he lets blur away.

you spin your pen between your fingers, it's the same pen you had that day, maybe you have some sort of attachment to it or something, maybe it's your favorite pen, maybe someone special gifted that pen to you.

maybe mark's letting it all get to his head, why is he even making assumptions when he hasn't walked up to you yet?

while everyone else rushes to leave the class, mark rises from his seat and again glances over at you, slinging his back over his shoulder.

you're riveted by what you're doing in your notebook, so absorbed that you barely hear the shuffling footsteps making their way around the many desks towards yours. your lips turn down as you smudge the ink on the page, a small suck of the teeth adding to your frustration.

"um.. hi" mark whispers, watching as you glance up and pause, one click to your pen. you don't respond immediately, studying mark for a while, and mark tenses up under your gaze, sucking a breath between his teeth.

"hi".

"we uh— were partners for the project".

your smile is neutral. "i know".

mark began biting the skin off his lips, hands gripping at his backpack. "i don't know where you want to start, uh.. maybe we could go to the library?"

he's just saying what he's hoping will work. he doesn't exactly know you yet, he assumes your one off interaction at the police station left a sour taste in your mouth.

but unbeknownst to mark's anxious inner voice, you smile, not exactly a neutral one this time, a much better smile ('better' in terms of expression, your lips stretch into an aspect of satisfaction).

"that'd be nice".

mark nods, almost too enthusiastically he thinks. how embarrassing. you let out a silent yawn, oblivious to the battle mark is having in his head. "tomorrow maybe we can start?"

your smile again becomes neutral, but at least mark doesn't think you want to kill him. "yeah, tomorrow is fine".

tomorrow. tomorrow is fine.

"okay, have a good day y/n".

mark rushes out of the classroom much too fast, he feels a little terrified of you. maybe you don't exactly want to kill him, maybe you just look at everyone else in that way, maybe it won't be that bad to be paired with you.

still, mark isn't sure why his mind tells him he should stay away from you.