gay-impressionist

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The Look.

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my mom is soooo upset because she dropped and cracked one of her chicken’s eggs that she knew was fertilized. it’s her first time trying to hatch chicks and she was so excited. this was one of two eggs she’d seen moving while candling them. she feels so bad.

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You shoukd totally learn how to make gifs and make some for Otalia. Even if they're a bit crap to start with it's okay.

Be the change you want to see in the world!

Unfortunately I have neither the time neither the motivation 🥲

[gay-impressionist]

My foster dog’s adventures in motherhood

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he’s cringe and he’s not even free

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a surprisingly pleasant result

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What’s your hair color?

Black

Brown

Blonde

Ginger

Dyed

With highlights

Nuance

Bald (literally)

[gay-impressionist]

why is this mangione official court sketch kind of giving tumblr fandom check my carrd before interacting

[gay-impressionist]

Tonight I am Searching for An Image that May Very Well Change My Life

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people keep reposting my comics without credit or permission so heres a dump of my comics frome my twitter @/cuptoast

do not my reposts my art, if u see one of my comics uploaded to here, it was not with my permisiions!

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She used to work in IT

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⚠️ Warning: Super gay thing ⚠️

You 🫵

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Comic by PetFoolery

Hands up if you'd also adopt that little noodle! ✋

[gay-impressionist]

i'm learning absolutely insane fucking things on the wikipedia page for penn jillette of penn and teller

[gay-impressionist]

Sometimes I think a lot about my mom's cat

My mom's cat is a common domestic shorthair we found on the side of the road as a kitten

Regular cat, not a maine coon or one of those massive breeds. His mom was smaller than a loaf of bread

But in a sort of a Clifford The Big Red Dog situation, he grew super fast, and really really big, and took a super long time to stop growing

Worried that she was overfeeding him, she eased back his portions, but he stayed a massive round baby

When he started having kidney problems, she took him to the vet.

The vet took a look at him and said, "holy fuck, what are you feeding him", checked the nutritional listings on his chow, and told her "Yeah, maybe he's reacting badly to the amount of grain in this, try a meatier diet"

So my mom wound up special-ordering this specific high-protein prescription cat food made of like. Kangaroo meat or some shit that cost like sixty bucks a bag

And, as typical act two in an episode of House, he somehow got worse on the fancy specialized stuff that was supposed to be Primo Athlete Olympic Feline Blend

Like. WAY worse. His guts were inflamed and his kidneys were shutting down and he was all sore and HE WAS STILL HUGE, just miserable and sad

So shetook him back to the vet, where they had to help him pee (he was apparently close to bursting and had some kind of blockage too) and went "Yeah no this is NOT normal and we don't know what's going on, we're gonna do some tests but in the meantime you should go back to what he was eating before, at least that wasn't actively killing him" so she did

And he still wasn't great, but he also improved

And so they take his blood and do an ultrasound and a couple g's later she gets a call back like "this is gonna sound crazy, but we want you to put him on a low-meat diet. Just the least amount of protein and iron and shit. We need you to find the grainiest, filler-iest dollar tree kibble available and give him some of that bad bad shit"

And my mother is a woman of science. So she did

And he GOT BETTER

His energy picked back up, inflammation went down, he started drinking normally again, got back to pissing like a fuckin champion

And so it turns out that out of all the random ass freeway bonus cats we possibly could have scooped out of a ditch, WE got the one-in-a-million freak of nature with a SPECIFIC genetic defect that means a paleo protein free range diet is essentially poison and he THRIVES on cheap ass garbage

Like. He medically NEEDS junk food

I dont really understand how that works, but i cant argue with results.

If we had four of him, they'd outweigh my mom. And he's FINE

Also blind, but that's unrelated

Im not using him as a symbol or a metaphor or anything. I just keep catching myself thinking about my mom's Big Fucking Cat

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if i knew how to makes gifs, i would make soooo many otalia ones. it's a crime that barely none exist on tumblr