#mar my bb
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It's really crazy to me to see the hate Mae gets, like I was reading some reviews and I can understand not liking a character but as soon as they start with the name calling their opinion is invalid to me because they have no reason to be calling her a bitch, among other things, like it just reeks of mysogyny, (it's like they just want an excuse to call women names) and seeing it coming from other girls makes it worse like..
"Oh the girl was such a bitch why did she do that 🙄" ..is it really that hard to think for a moment about the circumstances in which mae was raised?? Do they need it spell it out for them?? Like, c'mon guys do you really think that the people trapped in a bunker for generations have anything nice to teach/say about the apes?? Wes Ball please give us Mae's backstory in the sequel!! Your audience needs it bc they are out there calling Mae the real villain and saying Proximus was right 💀 (when he was literally everything Caesar hated in an ape)
Look, I'm usually a polite person when expressing my opinions, but I'm fed up with the hate towards Mae, basically because the arguments people give seem incredibly basic to me, typical of people with little to no understanding. Sometimes I doubt if these people have watched the same movie as me or maybe they have some sort of cognitive dissonance, but seriously, I find them ridiculous. Either that, or they are basically the typical comments from misogynistic guys or women with internalized misogyny who can't stand morally gray and questionable female characters.
And well, having said that, I'm going to present my doctoral thesis on this topic:
One of the things I've seen the most is people saying that Mae is evil, the true villain, or an ungrateful traitor to Noa. This argument seems quite incomprehensible to me because, even though we don't have much data about her, I believe there's something very important that explains why she acts as she does: the Proximus apes killed the people in her group, including her mother. I mean: her damn mother. If we add to that the UNDERSTANDING (I mean, you have to be very short-minded not to assume something so obvious) that she has been raised in an environment where they've probably told her all her life that the apes are the reason for all the evils of humanity and the main reason why humans live in shitty conditions, I think anyone with half a brain has enough information to understand why she does what she does.
Yes, Noa is a good guy, but he's not helping her. Noa and Mae have a common goal and decide to ally themselves momentarily to achieve that goal, which is to reach Proximus. As much as they've formed a bond throughout the story, it's not yet strong enough for Mae to set aside what she has worked for so hard. Mae not only bears the weight of humanity on her shoulders but also emotionally carries the idea that she, as the sole survivor of her group, must complete the mission at all costs. Are those who criticize her telling me that if they truly thought that with certain actions they could not only save their species but also honor their loved ones who have been killed infront their eyes, they wouldn't do them? And that they wouldn't do them for someone they've just met, no matter how much they like them? That's just not realistic, it makes no sense. We would all do the same as Mae in her situation. I mean, I have no doubts.
Another thing I love is when they say she's the "true villain" as if it weren't clear enough that she feels bad every time since she forms a bond with Raka and Noa when she does something that she knows may harm them. She feels pain for Raka's death and clearly, you can also see the conflict and remorse when she detonates the bomb. It's not something she enjoys doing, but she HAS to do it. In the final scene, even though she's carrying a gun, you can also clearly see her in conflict with herself. Clearly, she doesn't want to kill him. Clearly, she has nothing against Noa, and this is evident when she finally accepts the necklace and they even shake hands. You can't tell me that's the attitude of a villain, narratively it's not presented as such, and seeing it that way is to have understood nothing.
Mae is a complex character whose life is based on survival, she's no different from the characters we're used to loving and idolizing in other post-apocalyptic series, the difference here for me is that she's human and humans have to be bad by default and also that she's a woman. Because female characters always have to be the support, the romantic interest, or the unconditional friends of heroic male characters, and Mae is none of that. Mae is a character with her own story and ambitions that go beyond Noa's plot. Mae has her own plot, and it seems that's something that bothers people a lot.
I'm sorry, but the hate towards Mae seems very similar to the one people had for Sansa Stark in Game of Thrones, which basically stemmed from people being misogynistic and hating complex and imperfect female characters, combined with how much they hate seeing protagonist characters with such human and real characteristics that they can't bear the idea of seeing themselves reflected in them.
But hey, for Sansa Stark, I would have killed, and now for Mae too. Mae haters basically DNI
#i’ve been very intense#but sorry i’m such a scorpio with a scorpio’s classic rage#i would kill for her#mar my bb#kingdom of the planet of the apes#planet of the apes#kotpota#kotpota mae#kotpota noa#mae#freya allan
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again looking over the reworked history what the hell happened with Ripwater, I wanna know. What *was* that? How did Riverclan kill it?
Oooooh, quite a request! Ripwater, Queen of the Lake, one of the episodes of BB!Po3!
Ripwater is a Wels Catfish, the largest freshwater fish in Europe. The biggest specimen EVER caught was just landed last year, in 2023, 9.4 feet long. It wasn't weighed, but smaller fish than this one have broken 300 pounds.
And it's not a good thing that we're catching so many big ones.
Wels catfish are extremely invasive across most of Europe, introduced for anglers who want to land record-setting catches. They're massive, intelligent carnivores, sometimes called the "freshwater orca" because they will lunge out of the water to catch land prey. They DESTROY the population of anything big enough to fit in its terrible mouth, including fish, amphibians, and even turtles.
They get that big from a mix of constant food and hot temperature. It's a sign that they're devastating their surroundings, and that nothing has been able to kill them for the decades it takes to get so large.
So of course, some dunderhead put them in British rivers, where they've been spreading upwards ever since. Thankfully they thrive better where it's warmer, so they're not too massive of a threat to BB's modeled regions in Northwestern England, but they're fucking coming.
Ripwater's name isn't an exaggeration. That's how they hunt. They gape their jaw and beat their fins like dragons, creating eddies and currents that suck their hapless prey in. When RiverClan names her, it's because they see her ripping the water in half. I was thinking about her recently, and came up with some new stuff. I'll take a brief break from my drafts to serve up some fragments for you.
[A gray cat with blue eyes, Lakepaw, later BB!Lakeheart, swims in bluegreen water surrounded by lilypads. Below her is the massive shadow of Ripwater, a gigantic Wels Catfish. Its eyes flash in the depths.]
SMALL RECAP OF BB!PO3: (to set the stage)
It is now a breather arc, just dedicated to some worldbuilding!
I feel pretty strongly that Po3's strength is how AWESOME of a slice-of-life arc it could have been. To this end, I removed the Kin of your Kin prophecy from it, until it's revealed only at the very end just before Cruel Season.
That's so I can focus on The Three and their adventures around the lake, without this big prophecy looming over them and making the lower-stakes conflicts look small.
Instead, the various episodes of Po3 are related to problems that their new home presents, with just a teeny bit of Sol's magical influence to spice things up.
While Lionpaw learns about the "meaning of strength" and ultimately learns a terrible lesson he will extend to his kits, and Jaypaw finds his limits and learns to prevent others from defining them for him, Hollypaw is grappling with Fire Alone and how to reconcile her grandfather's legacy with her strict dedication to the Warrior Code.
And SO we find ourselves in one of the earliest episodes of BB!Po3; Ripwater the River Demon. This is like... episode 3 or 4, it's a REALLY early one.
I'm just shuffling it around with ANOTHER RiverClan-centric episode; the Shinewater Plague. The oilspill from TNP is now going to be bumped up to Po3 so it's more about establishing Mothwing and her apprentice Willowpaw, to contrast Leafpool and her apprentice Hollypaw, before Holly swaps to being a warrior. Jaypaw completes warrior training before becoming a Cleric apprentice.
So I don't want them to be TOO close together. Maybe put Ripwater in Book 2 and have RiverClan comment that they don't really want to ask for help because of the last big event, Mistystar hates feeling indebted to ThunderClan.
After all, it could basically replace the "flood" episode from Canon Po3, which is often forgotten about anyway. I'm already having ShadowClan construct dams instead of RiverClan anyway...
ANYWAY RIPWATER
I want to start this episode off with Sol/Harry, who is unnamed, messing around near water. He has a bit of a fish motif going on that I want to establish, and I need to get him to start messing with the Clans good and early.
(Specifically his motif is going back and forth between the koi, also an invasive and notably domesticated species, and the atlantic salmon which is famous for its changing life cycle.)
The Wels Catfish is an invasive species to England, slowly making its way up the island from the South. The fish who will become Ripwater, at this point, is already HUGE but not cat-swallowing huge. She's an 80-pounder.
Sol hits her with some godly magic, which allows her to grow at a rapid rate.
The sort of thing where it wouldn't be COMPLETELY implausible. He just... helped it along.
When we get to her first true on-screen appearance interacting with RiverClan, she is nearly 300 pounds of monstrosity with a length of about 8 feet
I'm unsure how, exactly, ThunderClan comes to know of this. But I DO know that I want Hollypaw to be snooping, and heavily encouraged by her mentor Brackenfur to do so. So, somehow, SOMETHING starts going wrong across the lake and ThunderClan catches wind of it.
Thinking about it, this should probably be her first big action after swapping out of Cleric apprenticeship.
One of the few things she's missing about Clerichood is the way she could be close to Willowpaw without needing to sneak around so much. It's easier to just pass it off as "friendship" and "Clerics need to be close." Leafpool and Mothwing are a similar way.
Possibly work in that Hollypaw's also already seeing Heatherpaw in the tunnels, contrast the two things...
At this point, Hollypaw has a crush on Willowpaw, which is requited, but... it's kinda fading.
She still loves her like a friend, but she's liking Heatherpaw a lot more. It doesn't mean she doesn't CARE for Willowpaw, of course, but
Willowpaw is still IN love, and it's slowly becoming unrequited, when it didn't used to be.
And from RiverClan's POV...
The first disappearance is so sudden they have no idea what's happened. I'm planning for it to be Robinpaw.
(I go back and forth on if it's Robinpaw or Dapplepaw, but I'm leaning towards Robinpaw again, because I like Dapplenose too much to have her get killed off here.)
She went out clamming in the lake with her sisters, Lakepaw and Otterpaw, there was a swirl in the water, and that was it. She was gone.
Just like that.
She never came back up. RiverClan searched for her, following the currents, checking the shoreline, everything. It was like she vanished.
Mistystar is suspicious and doing everything in her power to figure out what happened, but... let's face it. It's the word of two apprentices, who were swimming alone, who swear Robinpaw just went under.
Misty JUST got done with the Shinewater Plague and isn't trying to make RiverClan look like it can't keep track of its own young. The most likely situation is that Robinpaw was sucked down by an undertow that the three of them were too inexperienced to recognize.
So... she's pretty adamant about not sharing this information until Robinpaw's body is found. Jaws Style. "We cannot let the other Clans be alarmed by this, else they might meddle in our affairs..."
(and she's still maybe a little paranoid that some snoop in another Clan is going to find out that Leopardstar wasn't killed by a rogue, y'know.)
I don't want it to be TOO much of a bloodbath, so I'm capping Ripwater's body count at three and just aiming for two deaths total.
I'm also going for a coincidence RiverClan is going to interpret as a pattern; this happens a lot, specifically, when they're hunting Freshwater Pearl Mussels.
Ripwater doesn't like the river as much as she likes the lake, but it has nothing to do with their clamming. They're just going to interpret it as such.
Anyway.
The next one she goes after was lucky. By some stroke, she opens her jaw, and the victim is able to grab onto something before they're sucked in. (Maybe toss in something here were it was Holly who was able to help save them.)
Since the WHOLE Po3 Apprentice Generation is going to be getting more focus, there needs to be more input from the RiverClan apprentices. Lakepaw and Otterpaw obviously need time here, but I also NEED to involve Ripplepaw, to establish how he's going to be seen as one of the strongest in RiverClan by OotS.
EDIT FROM THE FUTURE AS I FIGURED STUFF OUT:
It was Ripplepaw, Otterpaw, and their two mentors on a raft who were attacked next. They were fishing for mussels in a shallower part of the lake.
Otterpaw was tethered to the raft with a flax lead, so it wouldn't float off. Or just tugging it in her mouth. Either way she had a line.
When Ripwater attacks her, she is swallowed on the line like a worm on a hook
And it starts pulling the WHOLE RAFT down, just a crummy bundle of sticks
One of the mentors started shouting to cut the line, else it would drag all of them under, but Ripplepaw dives right down to beat its ass without telling them he's not gonna cut it
Hollypaw just rushed right in, didn't think about it, forgetting she was supposed to be trying to sneak around
Taking control as the natural leader she is, she ordered them to shut up and start pulling the opposite way
Underwater, Ripplepaw braced himself against the fish's lips, grabs Otter's tether, and YANKS
Abovewater, the adult warriors are pulling together, Holly grabs the raft and pulls too
Once their paws touch the bottom of the shallows it's over, one last HEAVE-HO and POP!
Otterpaw is FREE
And when it's finally known that the apprentices weren't mistaken, there's a monster in the water, THAT'S when the debate really starts up. Mistystar does NOT want ThunderClan meddling, and she'll already be pissed off that Hollypaw (and any OTHERS who tagged along with her, I wouldn't put it past Honeypaw to wriggle her little yellow butt into a later draft, or Lionpaw for his massive strength) witnessed something that's not her business.
There's a moment from canon I desperately want to keep; where Squirrelflight comes to fetch her daughter.
(more reason to just say this is replacing The Flood Episode from canon lmao)
It's such an interesting moment, and so forgotten. In a nutshell, Squilf is both furious and concerned that her kit went missing and meddled in another Clan's affairs, but... understands the impulse.
Because it's something she would have done.
So when she scolds Hollypaw, there's this aching feeling that she's scolding a younger version of herself. Calling her arrogant and disloyal, that an apprentice's opinions mean less, and that she needs to listen to "older and wiser" warriors within her own Clan.
In BB, I want to do something big with this. Firestar is the figurehead of Fire Alone, who encouraged Hollypaw's behavior through his deputy, Brackenfur, who he set as her mentor for a reason.
But Squirrelflight is being abused. By Brambleclaw.
This is one of the lowest points in Squirrelflight's life, and she is walking a line between self-worth, the warrior code, and her personal beliefs, just like her daughter is.
SO, since I'm already using Brambleclaw's enabling of Ashfur's physical abuse as one of the contributing factors to Hollyleaf's descent, I ALSO want to show how he acts on other characters.
Brambleclaw, Clan Culture, the pressures of their strength-obsessed social system. So it's gotta be Squirrelflight that reminds her, or even plants the seed in her head;
"What you did isn't consistent with the Warrior Code."
Maybe even have Mistystar herself state this earlier, to be echoed by Squirrelflight, offering an alternate perspective to Hollypaw. Make her realize that ThunderClan's political leanings are not universal or even popular.
But when Hollypaw comes back to ThunderClan, whoever set her to be a snoop wants her to spill the beans. This is also a big WIP part, as Hollypaw struggles with if she's going to obey or not, and I still need to set all the political "players" in this moment.
I know for sure, though, that Firestar's IMMEDIATE desire is to meddle like it's an episode of Scooby-Doo. Though he's savvy enough to be smart about how he phrases it and what actions he takes, his ultimate goal is to put his little cheeto-dust paws all over this. And Hollypaw is starting to question how appropriate that actually is.
This is where it starts to really be a rip in Holly's mind. Clans aren't JUST big, blanket groups with united opinions, they're collections of individuals. Mistystar doesn't want meddling, but Willowpaw is in danger. Otterpaw and Lakepaw went all that time without being believed, after they watched their sister die, because they're lowly apprentices like her. Squirrelflight and Brambleclaw are angry and disappointed, while Firestar and Brackenfur are secretly lathering her in praise.
Now imagine me standing in front of a big board where I'm writing ??? because there's a missing chunk here.
I need to connect THIS part to what comes next, which is where ThunderClan DOES come in and help out. Here's the thought process going on in RiverClan;
Willowpaw comes in to do something important. She adores Hollypaw, knows her value as a Cleric, and knows that StarClan can sway Mistystar.
I want her to have a couple of pieces of a vision... BUT. She decides to interpret it in a way that's convenient, and add a few details.
It's not a tooootal lie lmao. It's just 75% true.
This is the true power of Clerics, when they realize it. No one can actually challenge them without just ignoring them or stripping them of power. They are accountable to StarClan alone.
A mentor simply doesn't say this out loud to their apprentice. It's a quiet secret. And Willowpaw just realized it.
and thinking about it... this should be the thing that finally breaks the budding romance Holly and Willow had. Holly is sickened by this, when Willow confesses how she convinced RiverClan to work with ThunderClan.
But, without even being a full Warrior, the apprentice leverages her power as Cleric of RiverClan, and 200 skill points of Improv Acting, to tell them these things;
"StarClan is so angry with us that they've sent a hog to the water! It's why they've sent a ThunderClan apprentice, we must work with them to eliminate the beast that lurks in our waters. With spears and plans, we must hunt it honorably!"
(Mistystar is defensive, but it's not known why) "We haven't disobeyed StarClan in any way. We'd already accepted their help once before, when sickness drove us to weakness, and it's only let them think they can disrespect our borders as they please. This can't be the holy will of our ancestors."
"It's-- We've been disrespecting this bountiful new land that they've so generously given us. That's what the pile of shells in my dream was. Think about it! The last attack was on the shore where we collect mussels. The second attack was on a cat latched to a raft, and it was only the tether that saved them. And the first..."
IVE GOT AN IDEA, Robin, Lake, and Otter WEREN'T clamming when they were attacked. She gestures over to Lake, knowing that if she doesn't back her up, the theory crumbles.
(Otter is in the Cleric's den, unconscious.)
Lake hesitates, not wanting to lie. Willow jumps back in,
"It's why Otterpaw was attacked," does those little jazz-hands to be like 'come in bitch work with me,' "And it's why Lakepaw has to be involved in killing it, to end what she started, and appease StarClan."
Lakepaw more like I LIKE-what-you-just-saidpaw, "It's true, we were so ashamed to admit it, Mistystar, this is all MY fault, I wanted my siblings to dig up mussels, PLEASE let me atone by stabbing the fish to death"
AND AFTER THAT IT'S NOODLIN' TIME
Mistystar, begrudgingly, accepts Firestar's help, or perhaps reaches out to him. Ripwater is a "Hog in the Lake," a beast too big for them to kill honorably on their own.
ThunderClan is the ONLY Clan that uses spears, and only for boar hunts. To protect themselves and to give their quarry a quicker death.
No other Clan touches weapons for dishonor reasons, as they're heavily associated with the demon Shredtail.
I should have Willowpaw explain her half-truth to Hollypaw here, and it's where Hollypaw just... so very suddenly can't look at Willowpaw the same way.
Jaypaw would definitely face an ableist moment from someone, but it's going to have to be one of those times where he accepts that there IS a very real limit to his ability here. Spears are range-weapons and his whiskers don't reach that far. He can't tell where he's stabbing, and the water is going to make it too hard to smell where Ripwater's dangerous mouth is. He can't be chosen for this hunt.
Meanwhile Lionpaw learns from Willowpelt how to make a spear and it is one of the most satisfying things he's ever done in his life, he's like "this is so awesome oh my god i love weapons"
just gently setting up that he's going to eventually become ThunderClan's head of hunting, and also that he's a lil violent
I feel like him and Lakepaw should hit it off a little because they both think the idea of stabbing a fish in the face is super cool, only for someone to growl at them that they shouldn't be enjoying themselves so much
Maybe Blackclaw, fuck that guy
(absolute tangent but BB!Lionblaze is kind of evolving into a little dork and I love that for him. Local himbo only capable of making friends or enemies, all Clanwide opinions on him are polarized, more at 11)
THE PLAN
So how DO they kill that thing? First of all, it's all about strategy.
Immediately they started making a couple of specialized spears. Most spears they make are exclusively for boar-hunting, so they have a distinctive "lug" that prevents a boar from impaling itself down the shaft to get you.
Someone in RiverClan explains that you don't want a fish having the chance to get off a claw. If Ripwater escapes, they might not find her again until she kills someone else
The solution is that these need to be custom-made, with special claw-shaped prongs, so they're chevron ^ shapes instead of tear-drop points. They stab in, and don't pull out.
So they need to make spears from scratch, which is an intensive process, and they don't have time to waste. RiverClan doesn't want to hunt by water that has a chance of having a freshwater orca spawn and drag you in; they'll starve
And there's only so many artisans in TC that can MAKE spears. Glue, twine, shafts, blades... these are all things that take hours of labor to create.
And MORE IMPORTANTLY, they realized from the Raft Rescue that a tether, attached to a floating object, can be very useful. Each weapon has rope tied through it and is tethered to a raft-- which is even MORE intensive, RiverClan had to repurpose several nets to create so many lines, and they only own three rafts, so the rest have driftwood.
So they only have time to create 3 special water-spears, and bring in 2 modified boar-spears.
Lionpaw is like visibly disappointed he can't have one lmao
The only apprentice given a spear is... Lakepaw. And it's a boar-spear
Because she's gonna be bait. They believe the litter is cursed for their "sin" and she'll be the next target.
But still, they chum up the water near the last sighting with blood and crowfood, like hog slop, and wait.
(Heavy WIP stuff here as we get to a play-by-play I haven't fully figured out yet)
Their plan is to get it on the shore as quickly as possible.
Four cats could pull Otterpaw from its mouth, so 5 spearcats and a dozen strong warriors could pull it onto the shore. Surely.
shorely.
It comes as expected, lunging at Lakepaw. She leaps back and tries to use her spear on it, but she is NOT properly trained with it, she stabs its face, but can't break the skull
RiverClan manages to toss a net at the beast, but it's NOT heavy enough
And they managed to get LAKEPAW with it, pressing her to the beast, her spear is dropped into the water
Someone shouts that it swims like an eel, able to just reverse course unlike a REAL fish which must turn
In the panic, warriors start mobbing it.
she thrashes, and splashes and the net is barely holding her back at all
She smashes a warrior with her tail, buffs another with her powerful head
She's stabbed in her side by a ThunderClan warrior (probably Sandstorm), and she turns on the raft they're standing on, breeching and SMASHING it to bits. Lionpaw and the rest of the cats on this raft get dunked
In the water, ThunderClan cats are useless, and RiverClan cats can't properly handle spears.
Someone from RiverClan, probably Blackclaw, tries to free Lakepaw but is scooped up in Ripwater's mouth.
He's screeching and yowling and trying to hold onto its upper jaw, regularly cut off as she dives under
When Willowpelt gets her spear in, she holds onto that damn stick with her LIFE, getting swung around and dunked in the water and then going back up into the air
Thornclaw, holding the other boar-spear, aims for its tail
But it's not enough; Even with several warriors of RiverClan, five spears, a net, and the weight of the two remaining rafts, Ripwater's managing to pull them towards the depths
She's too big to bite, too large to claw, and too strong to hold down
LIONPAW TIME
He grabs the spear that Lakepaw dropped
Ripplepaw seems to zoom right passed him, running away from the fish. He thinks he must be some kind of coward, the fight's NOT OVER YET!! WE NEED TO HELP LAKEPAW
(In a later draft I might have Lionpaw be on the smashed raft, and Ripplepaw brings the spear to him before turning and bolting back to shore. Either way he doesn't explain himself)
He paddles near one of the rafts, and is pulled up onto it
Firestar calls him a WONDERFUL BOY for bringing the spear
Lionpaw mumbles something enthusiastic around the stick in his mouth, wriggles his butt, and jumps back into the water
Grabbing the net sticking to Ripwater and using it like tree bark, he pulls himself on
Bites the spear by the lug like a handle
And stabs it in like a knife
But it's already starting to pull out, too shallow
Filled with anger and resolve, he bites the shaft, and PUSHES
Harder and harder and harder until there's a crackle, the twine breaks loose, and the lug snaps
The rest of the spear slips in as if Ripwater's made of butter
Figuring that's probably deep enough, he lets go of the net, breaching the surface, sputtering and hacking
He's about to dive again to go get Lakepaw, but to his surprise, she breaks the water next to him
and then he feels the fish bump his paws
His name is called from the shore, and there's Hollypaw and Ripplepaw waving. Ripplepaw TOOK HIS SPEAR'S ROPE. Like a GUY WHO THINKS.
Now there was a team of cats on the shore, all the spent warriors who got thrown off, pulling Ripwater to the shore.
And from the feeling of slimy fish under his paws, it seemed like her fight had been all but spent.
And more cats were swimming to shore now, with the ropes attached to the other spears.
Once on the shore, they're able to discover that, tragically, Blackclaw has died. Mistystar in particular looks deeply torn by this, as their relationship was notoriously toxic. But still, he had been the father of her children, and drowned trying to save a Clanmate. She jumps up onto the massive fish, giving a speech about sacrifice, how Blackclaw and Robinpaw would be honored, and that RiverClan has learned its valuable lesson.
Ripwater was symbolic; it's the greed they had unleashed upon the lake by over-exploiting one resource. From now on, they would be respectful of StarClan's bounty. She thanks ThunderClan for helping to fulfill a prophecy, and offers that their debt be repaid by splitting the meat of the hunt.
Hollypaw, internally: "Oh she's doing that on purpose. She knows ThunderClan hates fish and it would be rude to refuse."
Firestar: "well. how could we refuse."
Sandstorm, quietly, in the distance: "easily actually ew"
CLOSING STUFF
I kinda want some kind of "epilogue festival" where the two Clans legitimately celebrate with a somewhat somber meal sharing. Some of these episodes in Po3 will result in lasting traditions and holidays that are celebrated annually.
At that little "fish festival," it works for Holly to officially break it off with poor Willow, to leave this episode off on a bit of a sad note.
This was one of the first times Lionpaw's power becomes obvious, and it's the sort of thing that wasn't really noticed. I figure it would be good for Lakepaw to ask how that lug snapped, she could barely even get the spearhead in. Lionpaw just brags and says it must be because he's SUPER STRONG.
For some reason he's just making a ton of friends whenever I write these out, I think I'm going to lean into it. Lionpaw's got friends when he's a kid lmao, starts losing them over time as he gets more violent.
It's probably because I really need a comic relief in The Three's dynamic. Hollypaw is very dramatic, Jaypaw is dealing with legitimately stressful social issues, and Lionpaw is violent. Someone has to lighten the mood up a little and it's probably because he's The California Girl himself lmao
At this fish festival he also discovers fish isn't actually that bad. Everyone's being weird about this. It's not really that slimy. It's got a strong taste but that's kinda nice, actually?
Could use some berries but like... "damn why don't we do this more often. this would go great with blackberries."
Ripplepaw: "You think so? I can taste sweetness, can I try to make it at home and tell you how it works out at the next Gathering?"
Lionpaw: "It's not hard, you just mash the berries and stew them in a little water before pouring it over your meat. I learned it from Willowpelt, she's got a mad sweet tooth."
Lakepaw: "No offense Lionpaw, but I always thought you were a total lunkhead. I never thought you'd like, cook?"
Lionpaw: "I mean not really, I'm an awful cook, I can just make simple stuff. Willowpelt's just nice enough to be patient with me, my mentor Ashfur says if I can learn something anyone can, haha."
Just a nice little moment for him.
Blackclaw is being mourned in the mortal plane, but secretly, getting a SCATHING trial up in StarClan. His death was heroic, but his ENTIRE LIFE was treacherous.
From teaching Hawkfrost to follow in his father's pawsteps, to joining him in WindClan's Civil War, and his constant arguing and undermining of Mistyfoot back when she was just a deputy trying to do the right thing.
He goes on trial for a bunch of things he did in TigerClan, too, facing his victims who took his misdeeds to their graves. He's not the only cat in RiverClan who is getting a review like this.
Leopardstar is already in the Dark Forest, and soon, Blackclaw's sent there too.
I decided to kill off Blackclaw here so he could have a VERY cool Land Mar;
(context: all Dark Forest demons now get a cool little evil playset area just for them, where they spawn into after they're thrown out of StarClan. These are called Land Mars)
It's still unnamed, but it's basically an even BIGGER Ripwater. It goes above and below the river and lakes of the Dark Forest, popping up in any body of water big enough to hold her.
#better bones au#Land Mar#Ripwater#BB!Po3#Better Bones AU#BB!Lakeheart#BB!Willowshine#BB!Hollyleaf#Fallenleaf#Wels Catfish#I NEED to make an art tag for my partner#Gamer-the-kittypet art#THEIR SUGGESTION NOT MINE
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♡ lotus flower picked from the garden of eden ♡
#ts4#sims 4#s4#sims#the sims 4#simblr#sim: mars#my bb#this is just random af#I LOVEEE THIS HAIR SO MUCH#jumped in game to take these quick
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patpran x words related to love that aren't easily translatable to English [insp.] [x]
#this is probably my favorite edit#bad buddy#bad buddy series#bad buddy edit#bbs#bbs edit#patpran#patpran edit#mars
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back to my comfort zone of a 5gb mods folder
#ts4#f: guzman-lee#i took out all of my gameplay mods and my bb folder except for like pandasama toddler toys photo frames and polariod camera.#and took out most of my cas folder like most clothes except for hairs and skin details etc because im not about to fully rawdog this game#oh and i kept overrides#this hair is from outdoor retreat and its kinda cute with the hairline!#using mostly the stuff in game is like ok embrace the tacky embrace the absurd embrace not being perfectly aesthetic and the woods not mar#matching ever. revel in the chaos
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WHOEVER GAVE BEVERLY BAINES THAT PICKLE, I WILL GIVE YOU A SOLID BAR OF GOLD FOR A JAR.
Delicious stuff.
#IC#((Yagi's the only one of my OLD 3 OCs who has a refined palette.#((She likes savory and sour in equal parts while BB and Mar have sweet tooths that exclude them from sour things
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Do u guys think vanitas is a chronic deftones listener bc I think be is.
#kingdom hearts#vanitas kh#kh bbs#ENTOMBED INSPIRED ART COMING SOON GUYS!!!!#his fave song is around the fur or diamond eyes !!!!#nomura is in my basement he told me so!!!#mars speaks (tm)
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I have dual brainrot and I want a kingdom hearts Owl House world so bad. I think Hunter should get to meet Xion and Roxas I think it’d be good for him. I think Willow and Sora should have a talk. I want Sora to meet all the palismen. I want an owl house themed keyblade do you see my vision here?
#I am thinking so much here#Alternatively if kh existed as a video game in the owl house world I think both Luz and Hunter would fall in love with it#Hunter would get so emotional about the nobodies Luz would sob over bbs 500 times#Toh#Kh#Mars yells into the void#My posts
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what happened to AJ? why is she not posting? sorry if you do not wish to answer but it has been a few days and i know you are close 🙂↕️
nothing happened to my love!!! she’s safely tucked in my arms i promise & she’ll come back soon to blr 🫶🏻
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I have some of the most wonderful and attentive friends ever 🥺😭
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Super interested in how you plan to write Leopardfoot! I feel like both fanon and canon tend to make her into a sweet mom(tm) who’s super sad that Tigerstar is evil, very similar to how Goldenflower is usually treated. What’s her thoughts on Pinestar and him leaving? How did she influence Tigerstar? What are her political beliefs?
Society has progressed past the need for sad moms who stare tearily at their evil sons and boohoo about all the murder. It's MOTHER AGENCY TIME
BB!Leopardfoot was FEROCIOUS. Her father was the indominable Adderfang, and he taught her about the importance of honor and glory. When Tigerpaw was given to Thistleclaw as an apprentice, she was proud of it. It felt perfect to her-- that her father's apprentice was now her son's mentor.
For his brief rule, she supported Sunstar completely. It helped that he came after the disastrous and embarassing exit of Pinestar, which ruined the legacy that she wanted him to give her son. Pinestar was a damn coward and a codebreaker... and she assured Tigerkit that he was more HER son than his.
She even gives him a life, for Legacy, in defiance of StarClan
She was friends with Bluemoon for a time, but after ascending to StarClan, she learned about the Forget-me-nots.
This changed her opinion of her. Leopardfoot supports Thistle Law, STRONGLY so.
She supported THISTLECLAW when he tried to forcefully void the Queen’s Rights. If Bluemoon hadn't broken the code, then what did she have to hide?
She backed off when Thrushpelt leapt to her defense though, "She didn't reveal it because she doesn't love me are you happy now??"
Leopardfoot: *awkwardly turns away feeling like an asshole now, tea SPILLED, her friend's dirty laundry EXPOSED, thought she was crusading for the law but she just dug up drama*
Towards the end of Pinestar’s reign, he was getting exhausted. He wanted peace. Leopardfoot wanted kittens around that time, and figured that there was no better cat than the son of Oakstar, architect of the infamous Crusade Era.
If Pinestar had no children, a glorious bloodline would have died out. She wanted it for her kits. Pinestar agreed on the condition that he would be their Mi, which she happily accepted.
So when Pinestar left, she jumped into the nursery to take over and had to explain to her kits where their Mi went.
She drove it home to them that he abandoned everything, because his weakness took over. They would never be like him, she promised.
Mistkit died very young. Nightpaw made it to apprenticeship before she also succumbed. Tigerclaw remembers very well how hard it was to lose his sisters.
Leopardfoot herself was taken shortly before TPB, in Spottedleaf's Plague. Her death causes Tigerclaw to have a bit of a moment.
After the trial in Bluestar's Flowers, Leopardfoot leaves StarClan along with a bunch of other Thistle Law supporters, including Thistleclaw himself. She joins the BOTTE at the end of OotS, fighting to the end with her son.
She misses him a lot, and remains in the Dark Forest to the current arc. She chose her path; and has the dignity to walk it.
She does miss StarClan sometimes though, and will tell you stories about it if you ask.
In terms of demon friends, she's somewhere in the clique between the harsher and softer spirits.
She dislikes Morningstar, Cloudberry, and Ryewhisker on the softer end, and has come to resent Thistleclaw and Finchflight on the other, but likes Darkstripe, Leopardstar, and Silverhawk.
Gets along with a range of "mid" level demons.
In particular I imagine she hangs out with Darkstripe a lot. Taste test buddy, he asks her to try his experimental recipes because she's honest but not mean. One of the few Thistle Law supporting cats he hangs out with after the double-death of Tigerstar.
He calls her Lefty. Her official nickname is "Left" but he calls her Lefty.
(Clanmew: her name is Saorpwyyar. Others call her Saopr. He calls her Sapyy.)
Her mom and dad Swiftbreeze and Adderfang are here too, following Thistleclaw like she did, but she's been minimizing her contact with her dad. She feels like she is owed an apology somehow but also doesn't have the emotional intelligence to know that it's what she wants.
She just knows that she feels really bitter talking to him, and that's unpleasant.
She used to be VITRIOLIC with Pinestar, who is also here, even going after him physically when he chose to join in with the Dark Forest trainees. But now... honestly so much shit has happened, she just doesn't like seeing him. She wishes he wasn't here.
I write her being very dignified. She doesn't like to admit publically she was ever wrong and speaks with confidence, quietly backing off and not wanting to speak about her mistakes. She loves her children and her family, but explores the world in a very "self-centric" way, trusting her feelings and personal judgement over anything logical.
A reactionary sort of person, if that makes sense.
Her Land Mar has to develop over time because she is an ex-StarClan migrant (damned souls get theirs instantly after judgement), but it's called the Fence Cliff. It's a picket fence that blocks off a sheer drop, making a sharp turn down the cliff face and acting as a walkway. Follow the fence down the slope, and you can access the Dark Forest's town biome.
#BB!Leopardfoot#Better bones au#Pinestar’s Crusade#Spottedleaf's Plague#I think I made her a land mar once before but I like this idea more#I may repurpose the old idea when I remember it for someone else#Because I like the idea of Leopard and Dark walking down her land mar to get to the town to collect odd ingredients#And have Leopard talk about how ironic it is that her life's worst moment still goes back to the choices of other people#And Dark kinda puffs and says 'im sick of people blaming everyone else for their own mistakes'#And Lef doesn't really have a response to that#And Dark backpedals not wanting to offend her#And the Cliff Fence would be a super neat setting to write such a convo in#BB!Dark Forest#Dark forest demons my beloved btw.#I was actually at one point planning a cutesy like... not-rework BB-original novella story#Of Ryewhisker gathering ingredients for an anniversary dinner#And meeting with various DF demons#But now that Darkstripe is getting a whole ass postmortem arc about healing through cooking#I might make it about him#Especially so I can put that convo in it
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apparently my wife keeps getting charged by paypal every time she sends money bc she never bothered to connect the bank acc.
#dndhfjfjf#lmao#tales from the digicrypt#nana talks tag#wait why is this my current otp#zukka#zuko is bb and sokka is pancho#mar y sol
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✦ WASH AWAY ━ psh
pairing ?! sunghoon x fem!reader. genre ?! fluff, bsfs to lovers, angsty, idk what else warnings ?! idk erm.. cursing? not confessing? synopsis ?! sunghoon is your bsf but what happens when jisung is thrown in the mix a/n ?! this was for my one and only mars (ily bb) and just something cute after today <3 lmk if u want pt 2 babes and as always like n reblog! ps listen to wash away by rio while reading !!
taglist ?! @leeechin @chobunz @wensurr @ja4hyvn @livelaughluvryanreynolds @coqhee @luvyou2ooo @t1iqaa @yeehawnana @mamuljji @yourmomssneakylink @justalittle-hee @mariahxrrera @heeambi @mitmit01 @vveebee @jjongsaengzz @squiishymeow @sunghoonsperfume @ami-soph @laylasbunbunny @mochamvgz @cherrybeomm @kozumesphone @suneng @17ericas @wintertxt @bubblytaetae @silquids @heelariously @blockbusterhee @kiss4noo @hmusunoo @rriribelle @thedemonriot @srehyaps @beatrizmel-472 (bold cannot be tagged)
perma taglist !
#𝑘 ── ✉️ ꒱#k films#en diaries#enhypen#enhypen au#enhypen drabbles#enhypen fluff#enhypen headcanons#enhypen x reader#enhypen scenarios#enhypen imagines#enhypen reactions#enhypen fanfiction#enhypen texts#enhypen fake texts#enhypen sunghoon#sunghoon enhypen#sunghoon smau#enhypen smau#sunghoon au#sunghoon fluff#sunghoon drabbles#sunghoon imagines#sunghoon reactions#sunghoon scenarios#sunghoon headcanons#sunghoon texts#sunghoon fake texts#sunghoon fanfic#enhypen soft hours
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War.
Cregan Stark x wife!reader
Summary: Cregan returns back to Winterfell after the Dance of the Dragons, eager to see his wife once more.
Warnings: talks of death, fighting, blood, talk of sex
Masterlist
……………………………….
Cregan rode his horse as close to the doors of Winterfell as he possibly could, intent on getting in as fast as possible.
He had been at war for months now, almost a year, and he was ready to see his wife once more.
The nights spent by campfire in the cold would be worth every moment.
But when she was not outside waiting for him, he was confused.
He jumped from his horse, throwing the reigns to anyone who would take them and ran inside.
He was instantly met with the maester.
"Welcome back, my lord."
Cregan have a victorious smile, "Good morrow. The battle has been won. I'm curious why my wife was not awaiting my arrival? I sent a raven ahead of me."
The maester nodded, "Ah, yes. The raven. The message was received, my lord."
He completely paused, thrown off, "Then? Where is she?"
"Let us walk, my lord."
Cregan became defensive, "Where is she? I won't ask again."
"Please, walk with me."
He felt a pain in his chest but he nodded and moved alongside the maester back outside.
The maester sighed, "I was asked to be the one to tell you, and this information is not easy to tell, I'm afraid."
Cregan nodded as he took in every word fervently.
"Lady Stark found herself with child not long after you left."
He had considered this. Their last night together was a passionate one, and he often spent his nights after under the stars, imagining her swollen with his seed.
"Why did I not receive news of this?"
"I advised her against doing such a thing. You needed to remain focused on the task ahead."
He scoffed, "My wife was with child! I deserved to know!" He paused in his step with a worried gaze. "Where… where is it now? What happened to it?"
"It's a healthy boy, my lord."
Cregan let out a relieved breath, "Thank the gods. I was frightened."
The maester took a long breath in thought, "The pregnancy went quite well. She did all the right things."
"…But?"
"But…" The maester grimaced, "She was not equipped well for giving birth. We had to make a choice."
Cregan felt ringing in his ears. Like his throat had been slit from behind. No breath moved in or out of his body. "W… What?"
"I'm sorry, my lord. She did not make it."
Cregan's knees buckled and he fell to the ground.
"I understand this is hard to hear, but you have a son. An heir! You must celebrate!"
"CELEBRATE?" He roared as he looked up to the maester with teary eyes. "CELEBRATE DEATH AT MY DOORSTEP WITHOUT MY KNOWLEDGE?"
"My lord, please calm yourself."
Cregan slammed his fist into the ground, "My wife is dead." A look came over his face, "You said… You said you chose."
"Aye, my lord. We did."
"Who?" He growled. "Who exactly chose a child over my wife?"
"I made the final say. I considered listening to her pleas, but once I saw it was a boy, I knew it would be worth it."
She had tried to survive. To live.
"What did she say?" He asked lowly.
"That…" the maester paused. "Perhaps it is too soon to speak of these things."
He stood on shaky knees in anger. His voice was low and predatory, "You marred her perfect skin. You hurt her. You MURDERED HER!"
He rushed forward and threw a punch to the man's jaw, watching him fall to the ground.
But that did not stop Cregan.
He straddled the man, throwing punch and punch, "SHE'S DEAD BECAUSE OF YOU!"
Eventually, a few men pulled Cregan away despite his fighting back.
But he quickly collapsed from grief.
…
He rocked the sleeping boy back and forth in his arms, cursing every time the babe looked up at him with the same eyes as his dead mother.
He had fought endlessly for a war that wasn't his, not knowing a war had been fought in his own house without him.
…………………………….
Cregan Stark taglist: @misswynters, @cosmosnkaz, @sithapprentice, @kaniromi, @lovemesomevesey, @its-jackie-bb, @callsignwidow, @8812-342, @nyxbranwenn, @thorins-queen-of-erebor
#fanfiction#game of thrones x reader#game of thrones x y/n#house of the dragon fanfiction#game of thrones fanfiction#game of thrones imagine#cregan stark x reader#house of the dragon#cregan stark x you#cregan stark#cregan stark x y/n#cregan stark x female reader#cregan fanfiction#cregan stark fanfic#cregan x reader#cregan stark imagine#game of thrones#house of the dragon cregan stark#house of the dragon fanfic
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🚫 My Sonic Big Bang 2024 Experience
...Or how a few months of my life were severely negatively impacted by someone else's bad management. See for yourself.
Proof of the rule they're speaking about being actively hidden from the participants to this day: FAQ – archived link, screenshot with "Who can participate?" on top, screenshot with "explicit" word search, screenshot with "nsfw" word search; Master Guide – screenshot with "explicit" word search, screenshot with "nsfw" word search; server rules – long screenshots of General Server Rules and StH Big Bang Specific Rules: Mar 12 and Jul 01, screenshots of Strike Policy: Mar 12 and Jul 01, long screenshot of General Guidelines, long screenshot of Collaboration Thread Guidelines.
I feel like this is extremely unfair 😭 One moment I was participating in the event I dreamed about for years, and the next moment I'm thrown out into the cold when I did nothing wrong. I need to get it off my chest...
Below, more about my experience with the event, though it ended up a little vent-y, a detailed (and verified!) record of what exactly happened in private thread #48, the aftermath and some fun facts I discovered or want to share:
First things first! Yep, I signed up for Sonic BB as a Writer back in January. I didn't talk about it outside of my server 'cause I wanted it to be a surprise – when I roll out a lo-o-ong illustrated fic without a warning. I'll admit, I always wanted to participate in a Big Bang for this fandom, it was a dream of sorts. And still, before sending my form in, I carefully read all of the Master Guide and the FAQ both. Seeing as how for my neurodivergent brain the rules and regulations are important, that's what I usually do for events, and this one wasn't an exception. Confident that I understand what the event would require of me, I signed up.
First month of the event went well. My questions were answered (even though I wondered why some of the things I asked couldn't have been in the Master Guide from the beginning), I wrote my fic summary and submitted it without many problems, etc. There was a small hiccup at the very beginning of March when I noticed how strict the management seemed to be (no changes or adjustments allowed), and my anxiety got the best of me, so I asked the mods if there's a plan in case a collab team doesn't work out: screenshot of my message in #writers-info-and-questions, pulled from my Discord data; screenshot of my detailed explanation in DMs; screenshot of Mod Joy's reply. Here are the most important quotes from his reply:
I understand wanting to plan for the worst case scenarios, but I would caution you not to freak yourself out over what all could go wrong! There are some absolutely lovely artists in this event who are excited to work with the writers. Odds are, things will go off without a hitch.
We are highly encouraging that no one drops out after the assignments, especially writers, unless due to extenuating circumstances.
We want to make everything as fun and stress-free for everyone. Know that we will be around to moderate threads and dissolve any tensions that arise,..
In short, I was placated with reassurances of careful moderation, not dropping writers and ✨positivity✨. I decided to stay and challenge myself since originally BB is meant to be a challenge and all...
For those of you who haven't participated: the way it is supposed to go is that writers submit short summaries of their stories, these summaries are stripped of the writers' names and given to artists to pick through. The artists then have to list their Top 10 stories to illustrate during the claims period. After the claims, private collab threads are made for each writer and their artists with a couple of mods. So no one else could see what happens in these threads.
Now flashforward to March 11th and the threads being created. Obviously I don't have screenshots of that due to being kicked off the server without any warning and before any chance of communication, unable to delete my personal information or save anything that might be used against me which was a case of poor management at best and a deliberate move at worst, so I'm retelling as faithfully as possible. It also has been verified by [artist 1] and according to them, this is exactly what happened.
My fic was in the 4-8k range, and I got two artists. I was asleep when the thread opened, and they talked about how excited they are for my fic before I came in. Both of them are 18, young but adults. I’ll call them [artist 1] (they're cool), and the other one is [artist 2]. Both artists seemed to talk to me normally.
Oh, I have to point out that there were hmm, Mods Chaz, Joy, Summers and Frostios in my thread. I think only four of them, but I know for sure Mod Summers was reading our conversation at least in the beginning because I noticed my fic's Warnings saying "None" (the original summary I submitted had Warnings: Discussion of Homophobia, Slight Internalised Homophobia), and I pointed out that there are warnings, though I don't know if they were lost just now or weren't in the sheet available to the Artists either, and whether they were actually lost or mods didn't consider it a big enough warning to keep... I still don't know. Mod Summers just silently pinned my message.
I mentioned how I'm in one of the Asian timezones geographically, so I might be awake or asleep at unconventional times, and they told me their timezones (I didn't ask!), so I figured I can make a timebuddy chart for easy tracking what time it is for everyone. Made one, sent the link to the thread, Mod Summers asked me if I want it pinned, too, and then a couple of hours later (I think?) [artist 1] came and said it's very helpful. This is my evidence for at least Mod Summers probably reading the conversation that followed but also maybe not. I think all of the mods were online or at least visually online when it was happening.
This is where I reveal that the entire conversation happened in like... one afternoon 🥲 Roughly 7 pm to 2 am for me.
Back to the conversation itself. There were a few questions I had so I started with them, basically 1) if they've read my fics before (explained that I'm asking so I know whether I need to tell them about my writing style and Sonadow dynamics I write); 2) do they want me to send in scenes as I write them or they want a full draft; 3) if they have any immediate questions for me. Question 1) is what we need. Both of them said they've never read my stuff before, and that they don't have any questions now but they want art to be as close to text as possible, so they will ask in the future. This is how it went down after (as per my memory, artist rendition I guess):
[artist 1]: I haven't read your fics but I'd like to! Your Ao3 is the same as your handle? [no link]
Me: It isn't a requirement, you don't have to! But that's right. I have to warn you though that I usually rate my Ao3 profile as 18+ when I link it, though 33/36 of my Sonic fics are rated G and T, and I feel like a warning is in order anyway so people don't accidentally stumble upon something they don't want to see and know what to avoid/filter out. [I didn't post any links or encouraged the artists to read my profile, just made a warning to be cautious]
We go into discussion of how long I have been writing, [artist 1] shows no problems with knowing my Ao3 has 3 Mature fics, I describe what series my fic will be for [the series is completely SFW, and even then I didn't post the link to it] and go into details of how I write Sonadow dynamics in my fics without mentioning the NSFW ones obviously, we speak about Question 2).
[artist 2]: [replying to my warning about my Ao3] ooohh so you write gore sometimes?
Me: Nah, I don't actually, I'm pretty uncomfortable with it tbh, so no, I don't. Some blood and a quick description of Maria's dead body is the most I have ever done 😅 All the angst I make characters go through is emotional rather than physical!
[artist 2]: oh I shouldn't have assumed, sorry. It's just the first thing my mind went to
Me: It's okay! I've been a medical student at some point and I think I've just had enough of that - one of the main reasons I'm not a doctor but a linguist.
[artist 1] gets excited about this for some reason, and we chat about it for a moment.
Normal conversation continues like...
Me: Okay, where were we
[artist 2]: i wasn't paying attention errr
Me: Me neither! But it's Question 3)
I go into saying how them wanting to draw as close to the text is 💯 what I wanted to hear because for me my texts are an extension of my soul, I'm fragile about them, and I'd prefer the art to be exactly according to it blah-blah-blah, I describe my thoughts about a plan of work for us and how I'm going to share pieces of my fic according to their respective wishes.
[artist 1]: Sounds great!
[artist 2]: yeah, sounds good
[artist 1] says something else which I just react with an emoji to, and I start getting ready for sleep because it's almost 2 am, and I have to get up at 6 am.
Nothing else was said in the thread. That's it.
I got to bed and as most people nowadays I check my phone one last time. I see [artist 2] requesting a mod they can DM to, but I don't think much of it…
So 6 am. I wake up and again, as most people nowadays, I check my phone. I went to sleep in a good mood, seemingly in good relations with my artists, excited for the collab and having a solid plan everyone agreed to, so I eagerly open Discord to see if they wrote anything new in the thread. I see no Sonic Big Bang 2024 server.
I will not go into too much detail about my state, but I have an extremely acute reaction to stress very similar to a panic attack that lasts for hours. So with shaking fingers I open my DMs to see the message from that first screenshot I started my post with. The following exchange with me learning about the hidden rule happens the next day. Unfortunately, before that I still have to go to work for a full day in that very same mental state, oof. Plus I have no breaks on Tuesday... I go back and forth all day with my friends about how shitty this situation is, and one of them asks me how [artist 1] reacted. I say that I don't know, but they still follow me on Tumblr so I go and message them, and from what they tell me, it sounds like a mod pretended to them that I was removed because of an existing rule that's stated somewhere. They didn't argue with that, and that's understandable of course.
At home, I notice one of the event mods blocked me.
It is difficult to explain what's happening in my mind without going into details of what my [disorders] are, but things that are unfair, things that are injustice put my brain in a loop until all wrongs are righted. I'm ranting about it to friends, and I think about it day and night. On March 14th I vent about it in the tags of a related reblog, and this is the only instance of me talking about StH BB on my blog. Next morning I'm blocked by the event blog and over the next 2 weeks – by two more mods, while another mod speaks to me passively-aggressively in a shared Discord server. Then I'm shown a screenshot where one of the mods claims I offered my Ao3 to my artists (I didn't) and implies everyone who writes NSFW is dangerous. And then I receive a hate ask about the event, calling me "creepy"... All this time, my brain is still stuck in a loop, and let me tell you – it's not fun. It doesn't help that my first reaction to everything that makes me feel bad is always to assume I'm at fault for everything, and seeing how hostile people are to me, I'm drowning in self-blame. Without going into any more detail, it takes me 2 months and a lot of help to somewhat recover, so I finally send my reply to Headmod Chaz and receive one back:
If you got to this part, you know that half of Headmod Chaz's reply is simply untrue since there were no "multiple instances", and in any case I was never asked to keep quiet about my ban (and why should I?). I sent another reply a month later expressing my confusion and wondering when the messages will be removed (only my intro was removed). As of today, that reply is still ignored, and the messages aren't removed 🤷
And this is the entirety of my Sonic Big Bang 2024 experience. Now for some Q&A:
Why did you wait so long to make this post? I didn't want to put any participants under fire, particularly my friends because I'll admit, the mods seem like petty people. And also I was worried about throwing shade on other participants (people associating their works with this) or spoiling the event for people who were genuinely having fun with it. Thus, I waited until it was over!
Is this a callout post? According to definition as "public criticism or asking someone to explain their actions", I think it is – in terms of calling out bad management. It is definitely not a call for harassment. There is a reason I censored some names and left vague who reported me, blocked me, was hostile to me or spread rumours about me. Please don't bother anyone, and if the mods decide to engage with this, they can post their own statement.
Aside from the above reasons, why make a post at all? Two reasons: a personal one and an altruistic one. Firstly, I hope to get closure this way since I still feel like I was unjustly thrown away when I was just being a dutiful person. Secondly, while Headmod Chaz said they will be transparent about this rule next time they run an event, as you can see they fully ignored my suggestion of doing it now, and in general keeping a rule hidden to such an extent where you lie in your FAQ is pretty shady... I don't trust them not to do it again next year.
Is it okay to reblog the post/reply to it, what about sending an ask or a PM? Yes to all. I don't expect anyone to reblog, though if you think it's necessary, go on. I'm posting it to the event tags, so-o I think people who need to see it – will see it. If you decide to be negative or call me names, however, be prepared to be blocked by IP or username.
Finally, fun facts as promised 🔥
There are other participants out there who have had negative experiences with BB or were made uncomfortable by the way it was managed, but I'm not going to speak for them;
There was this whole thing with hypocrisy and possible favouritism;
Despite the mods insisting on ME being quiet about my ban, it's now known that they shared information about it outside the mod group;
Out of 6 mods: 5 have me blocked, 2 were passive-aggressive with 1 of them going as far as verbally lash out at me in DMs, and only 1 mod gave me a human apology (not pictured in screenshots);
I saw 3 NSFW writers and at least 2 NSFW artists participating in BB just by scrolling through my dash, without seeking them out, and this is not counting people I noticed in the server prior to me being banned;
Some people are posting Mature and Explicit extras and sequels/prequels to their BB stories already;
The artist who reported me seems to have dropped out anyway;
There's a joke reason why I'm making a post, too: I have to earn being blocked from the event blog since they said they did it because of multiple instances of me talking about my removal;
I'm actually grace and most of the time write my characters as aspec, and I'm exploring what sexuality and intimacy mean for me through writing, so this situation felt a little... like gatekeeping;
My fic was #48 under the title Chao Care 101, and I want you to give me a high five if you had it among your top choices 🖐
Originally, I wasn't going to complete my BB fic because it made me feel bad, but now I've decided I want to reclaim it, so I'm writing it now. Almost 8k words at the moment. It will be published. And it will be illustrated;
Meanwhile, what came out of this disaster is Sonic Supernova 2025, and I recommend you all to keep an eye out for this inclusive Big Bang-like event 🌟
#Sonic series#Sonic#StH#Sonic the Hedgehog#sthbigbang#Sonic Big Bang#Sonic Big Bang 2024#fandom event#sonysakura being talkative#I won't be tagging the ship or my series#But yes Chao Care 101 is the prequel to my fluffy Married Hedgehogs series#🗡 My Hardships Under the Merciless Big Bang Rule 🗡#<- tag courtesy of one of my friends#Sounds like an anime title ngl#Huge thank you to all of my friends and friendlies who peer-reviewed most of my messages to the mods and this post as well#who supported me and listened to me vent for months on end#who talked me out of being reckless and doing things I might regret#Guys you're the best 🥹#100 notes#Well this is going well better than me expected
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Ok so what level of insane would I be if I made a kh au based off of the masque of the red death.
like. i wanna draw vanitas as the red death and maybe ven as prince prospero even though that doesnt exactly fit. still think it’d be fucking sick though.
#kingdom hearts#vanitas kh#kh#kh bbs#ventus kh#ven kh#vanitas kingdom hearts#ventus kingdom hearts#masque of the red death#kh au#i may elaborate later#i think ill draw it we’ll see#like. how cool would it#i think van would fucking love edgar allen poe he fw that shit so hard#take my fried brain 1am idea guys#mars speaks (tm)#mars shut up
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