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#bc i cant live like that. and this is not a good time to fuck me up like that
86espresso · 2 days
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there’s holy ground beneath them, and sparks fly when they kiss ✯ jh86
-> insta edit (my first one. be nice ill cry)
-> high school sweetheart!jack <3 bc yes
-> I love him bye
-> other things coming soon dw I didn’t forget 👊
-> under the cut !
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liked by jackhughes, alexturcotte, and others
ynzonedout my boy<3 and also cam york’s boy apparently<33
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jackhughes baby I can explain 😔
ynzonedout is there something you need to tell me ://
cam.york j, babe, don’t ✋
ynzonedout wtf
jackhughes I was gonna tell u eventually 😔😔😔
alexturcotte have some decorum yorkie that’s a taken man
ynzonedout tell him.
trevorzegras 💻👨‍❤️‍💋‍👨
jackhughes oh! that’s
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jackhughes look at her go !!
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ynzonedout oKAy but I did so good omfgfoMFG
jackhughes you did amazing bambi ☺️
ynzonedout but I didn’t fall over this time so bambi doesn’t check out ✋✋
jackhughes you fell over taking off your skates. off the ice
ynzonedout DELETE DLETEY
ynzonedout why do you hate me
jackhughes wtf I would stab trev for you
ynzonedout aw ur so <33
trevorzegras EHAT THEVFUCK
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ynzonedout you see this when you enter a room. what would you do 🎤
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alexturcotte run in the opposite direction FAST
liked by ynzonedout
jackhughes nightmare blunt rotation
colecaufield notice how his sense of humor skyrocketed after he started dating bambi…
ynzonedout oof
jackhughes the heck. ur right 🙄
cam.york ALL at the same TIME 😮‍💨
ynzonedout none of those words are in the bible
jackhughes skshjskwjwaj
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jackhughes @/ynzonedout lookinf suuper extra fine today I need her mroe than air 😪 LOVE her so baf
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ynzonedout jackie, baby, this is your public instagram
trevorzegras accidentally gave him too many edibles thats on me
ynzonedout ofc ur at the scene of the crime
trevorzegras ??!!??/)$ cole was involved
jackhughes bsmbi come iver imy:((((((((((
ynzonedout omw baby just two mins of homework left 🥹
quinnhughes just projectile vomited
ynzonedout lowkey ate down 🎤
colecaufield lookin goood ma’am
alexturcotte stunna
user1 proof that your fav white boy needs a baddie in his life
ynzonedout ur so adorable im jumping ily :)
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ynzonedout happy 18th birthday to my fav princess angel white girl jacklyn <3 despite the growing pressure on you and big things coming up, you never fail to make me feel like the only girl ever. you’re the sweetest and kindest ever, everyone deserves a you. my forever crush, i love you to death. muah 💗
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jackhughes im drowning in my own tears.
jackhughes bambi wtf ill end it all i love you so much 🥹🥹🥹 thank you baby
alexturcotte my heart
trevorzegras ill actually cry. who knew you had a heart
ynzonedout im in ur Walls
colecaufield everyone’s crying. The streets exploded. bambi this is too much for all of us
ynzonedout THE STREETS EXPLODDE
ellenhughes aw this is adorable :)
ynzonedout thank you for your contribution to society 🧎‍♀️
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jackhughes 1 week before the draft. cant wait !! ✊ replies . . .
ynzonedout im so fucking proud of you the fuck. What the fucking fuck im sobbing
jackhughes language 😔
ynzonedout no im fucking emo rn dont even
ynzonedout WAIT
ynzonedout jack oh myfuckingh god COME OVER RN my columbia letter just came in I can’t open it
jackhughes SHUT UP IM LN MY WAY IM shaking
alexturcotte columbia wth
trevorzegras ayo WHAT
colecaufield DID YOU GET IN
user3 COLUMBIA IS SO CLOSE TO NEW JERSEY AND ITS IN NEW YORK
cam.york everyone start freaking out like right now. bambi and jack will probably live toGETHWR SKSJKSJS
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ynzonedout happy weekend <3 a girl doesn’t deserve less
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jackhughes proud doesn’t cut it, angel girl. you deserve all this and more 🩷
ynzonedout jackkk 🥹🥹🥹 you mean everything to me
jackhughes also we r so getting our own place and living together
ynzonedout damn fucking right we ARE
alexturcotte brb crying
trevorzegras you guys 🥹
colecaufield #bambijackforever agenda going strong . who’s dropping acid in my eyes
quinnhughes great achievement!! you’re so smart tf
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ynzonedout I hope you know how proud I am you were created 🩷 @/njdevils if you suck the youth out of him I’ll suck the soul out of you 🔪
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njdevils 🫡🫡🫡
jackhughes BABE. we’ll get in trouble
jackhughes honestly couldn’t have done it all without your support. I love you :)
ynzonedout love u more forever :))
a/n: if I made mistakes no I didn’t. feedback appreciated but only the nice kind 🩷
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awellboiledicicle · 2 days
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I am progressing the main story in Palia and mmm my called shot of it being an ARK/Fallout/Horizon Zero Dawn kinda thing is NOT being disproved.
Also the majiri refer to their planet as earth as well. But there are two moons. So either an orbital capture happened and probably fucked with things, or it's a "humans rolled up while majiri were still working out the basics of being people and by the time of plot they're mythologized bc the contemporary majiri had no fucking context".
Which given Hekla exists, and theres a line about them existing to teach humans things... feels like Palias planet is an Earth 2 situation where we just kinda colonized the place and let the majiri live. Uncharacteristically kind of humanity, but appearantly other shit was happening.
It really is giving ARK tho, like.. being printed out of nowhere with enough instinct and information to not only survive but communicate with the new environment. Like original strain humans are just gone, kaput, done. Now it's literally all clones of clones of impressions uploaded to an AI with instructions to hit print when it's safe.
Which leads me to another theory: The Dragon the majiri worship can be one of three things. One, it's an honest to goodness god that decided to fuck off a few years before humans came back as a whim. Or it's very purposeful about that. Two, it's an Ai that was set up to guide the Maji to keep them from pulling the same shit that torpedoed humans. It going offline or losing signal triggered the long spin up for the ol person printer. Three: there is a fish and its red. None of it means anything to the human storyline and we're supposed to purposely not know what's bullshit and what is real.
I deeply wanna know what Chayne is seeing on the moons. I need to make his telescope. Because there could be a moonbase where humans have just been vibing. Or their tech has been.
But the thing that gets me is theres no bones in the ruins. In theory there should be SOMETHING. True it's been a couple thousand years but like. What happened.
I cant wait to see how the story progresses.
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musubiki · 2 months
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balor 🥰
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fear-no-mort · 20 days
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thinkign about how alone and unloved morty was for all his life and rick was the first time anyobdy ever put such an amount of intense attention and dependency onto him . and rick had a whole new family and losing them made him stop seeing the value in other people as a whole and morty was the one and first thing that woke him up
#really long Tag rant down there#one of the most Things Ever about them to me is how morty barely even understands just how much rick loves him. more than anything#and its something ricks done on purpose hes made sure of it#because hes so weak he cant handle it#them being together is agony in avsolutely every way and sense but also theyre the best part of eachothers lives#morty because nobodys payed attention to him quite like rick has and all the exciting space adventures and rick just cause. he literally#just likes him thats it. and he never knew it#also i was thinking of this earlier. one of the reasons season 1 is soooo good to me is cuz you get to see morty grow on rick in real time#stuff like that moment where morty walks through the door and rick is instantly at the sight of him SUPER excited and he goes hey!!! but#then he clears his throat and goes Hey trying to pretend like this dumb scaredy kid isnt becoming his favourite thing hes ever known day af#er day#and goddamn night shaym aliens. in that moment where he realised morty had been fake the whole time i rlly wonder what he was thinking and#how he felt. like. oh man this is messing with me way too much this is Bad#and then he got drunk over it and yknow. that . is it post credits. i think. that scene#n literally At the Very beginning he was tired n drunk n stupid thinking like man fuck this im gonna blow this place up and do what prime#did to me. But he brought morty with him Even just at that point it flashed in his mind and he absolutely could not bear to let morty die#Breathes in#im rewatching in October bc anniversary month. i literally can’t wait im so actually impatient i considered just doing it today So hard#odiespeak
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mariemariemaria · 14 days
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i really dont know whats driving all the pro-corset nonsense but its so annoying. girls were put into corsets from young ages, sometimes before they even reached puberty. mothers were often the ones forcing their daughters to wear corsets even though they didn't want to and rebelled against it. honestly i think being critical of corsets is important when discussing today's insane beauty and weight standards for women. 'tiny waist' crazes came in and out of fashion and waist goals could be as small as 16 inches, which is insane and there's no way you're gonna convince me that that's healthy or normal or feminist. how is that any different to women having weight or thinness goals that prioritise their beauty over their health? how is the fluctuating fashion for different waist sizes any different to how different women's body shapes go in and out of fashion these days? body shapes which are so extreme that they are impossible to achieve without either starving yourself ('herorin chic') or getting surgery (bbls). i think we do a disservice to ourselves if we ignore the similarities and dont learn from history tbqh
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jrueships · 1 month
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Bought one of my lil nephew giannis shoes for his birthday bcs he loves giannis and these are some of the ugliest fucking things I have ever laid my eyes on in my life. anyways it's his bday today so i gave them to him. but they are so ugly. he loves them
#i am not a sneakerhead#i wish i could be . finacially i can be. but mentally i cannot#i am not a car guy either. i could. but i cant mentally#bcs the only time id get smthing pretty is to look at it. and keep it safe#and then id want to km$ for not using smthing thats intended to be used bcs i hate wasted potential#once i got these rlly nice shoes#ive worn them once when i was trying them on#and i hate myself every day for doing that but also i just cant get them dirty#BUT I HATE THAT#some ppl can do that. they get a million things and only use it once and yea i COULD but psychologically i just CANT#im friends with a lot of sneakerheads and chain wearers and while i cant mentally make myself one#i can understand why they can#like ppl always wanna excuse not helping ppl by pointing at the stuff they already have#like oh u can buy urself a chain but cant buy ur momma and u a nicer place to live#like ok so credit scores are not existent then. especially when ppl use that phrase against ppl growing into crime like#yes they are making money now but is it good clean money? no. thats not gonna go into smthing long term n hefty like a house#chains are a rlly big thing bcs sometimes some jewelers just dont ask questions. hence bmf's jeweler getting roped into their crime schemes#any business can be like that btw. like michael jacksons doctor getting paid to kill him. the difficulty lvl just changes#and also. random ppl make fun of the stuff they can see or hear right in front of them#random ppl can and will make u feel bad abt any little thing they know or see the best bcs theyre assholes like that#u wear shoes all the time everywhere. thats more and more eyes noticing how old/dirty ur shoes are#or ur cars old n busted or ur phones a fucking android like it doesnt matter. the more ppl can see. the more theyll know#the more sensitive u get abt whats actually small to u at the start but big 2 them n then it gets big 2 u#anyways yea so like. i get it. i dont do it but i can see why others do#anyways yea these shoes are so ugly lol like i dont buy merch of my favs unless the style matches mine personally#he just liked them bcs they were giannis tbh n then i pointed out they were modeled after 1 of the jerseys#which made he rlly want them a while back so i surprised him today#but yea these things are ugly lol im glad he likes them but ew LMFAO
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spicyicymeloncat · 1 year
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Crying about mao mao and how I’m never going to see that incredibly traumatised cat again
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crimsongrimoire · 11 months
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RAHHH UR RECENT WRIO AND NEUV WRITING WAS SO GOOD I BEG THEE FOR MORE….. im thinking about dragon mating cycles and neuv coming to wrio sopping wet in the rain ( cuz hes sad of course ) and asking him for help,,,,
WAAAH TYSM ;_; theyve given me Disease
i see your That and raise you neuvi locking himself away insisting everyone Especially Wriothesley leaves him alone for a week with zero explanation. and of course that doesn't work but it's fine in the end (wrio broke in more or less bc he was worried) (neuvillette just never had these Issues before because he wasn't attached to anyone in that way and is a little scared of himself in this state on the off chance he'd hurt wrio)
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carcarrot · 4 months
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do i really want to make individual drinks again
#reaching back into the file cabinets of my mind to remember how i made certain drinks when i worked at the cafe#in preparation for the possibility of this new job#it would certainly mean far less goofing off time than i have at my current job. and i value my goofing off time dearly#but the people here are so fucking annoying lmao. i hate them soooo much#not that the people at this new job would be any better. we're still dealing with investment bankers#godddddd. what i really would want (which would be impossible)#would be to go back to working at the cafe but like. still have paid time off and insurance lmao#but the cafe was a small business and he was not offering paid time off and insurance. and the pay was way less#but i did get to play whatever music i wanted. unfortunately you cant live on that#like i can always say no to this new job if its offered to me. but is my goofing off time worth:#2 dollars less in pay and a half hour to an hour's more commute. well i dont know#a shorter commute would mean i could sleep more. and have more time at home .#i mean i probably don't Need all this goofing off time. but its nice#i dont knowwwwwww#like even though im a bit nervous abt doing it again i know that i would easily fall back into the routine of making drinks#which i was fairly good at. my one drawback is that i cant do latte art but i dont know that theyd really care here#and (because i found the menu of where id work) theres not a ton of drink options?? just the standard stuff#its being called a starbucks cafe but 1) its not managed by them and 2) it does not have their 5 billion drink options#so thats good. less to worry about#doesnt look like i even have to make anything foodwise which i had to at the cafe#here it looks like people can just buy a pastry and thats it#the hours are like. the same i work now. also good#sorry im like using this post to think through my thoughts.#uhhhh oh i looked up the manager who looks like a weenie so im not keen on the prospect of interviewing with him#but i probably would have thought that about my current manager if id seen a pic of him prior to interviewing. i guess???#and with these kind of catering units it seems you dont often deal directly with the manager that much anyway#i just gotta see if i get good vibes#rn i have unsure vibes. but i need a sign to see if this could be good for me#oh id also save money on transportation. and taxes! bc i wouldnt be working in ny anymore#lol oops tag limit. well i hope you enjoyed my job thoughts you probably didnt i know i didnt
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bunnihearted · 4 months
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🍷
#im in such a bad and low mood :<#it's not just my period hormones 🥴#my wireless headphones worked fine all of yesterday and today when i wake up they're blinking#they're liked fucked up... i turn them off but they constantly turn themselves back on. when i connect them to my ipad they constantly#keep disconnecting and shutting off and turning on 🙃 it makes me so angry bc i need to wear them basically all the time#bc all the noise from neighbors and my family and outside is driving me crazy#but they just dont work anymore?? plus i cant afford new ones... esp now which brings me to my next point#bc of my mom having troubles w school and loans and work etc she was like yeah u guys might have to pay for me this summer so we'll be#proper poor 😄 she doesnt WANT that either but it just sucks bc i got $300 every month and i can barely afford anything as is#yeah so there is no chance of me buying new headphones until at least august or september ......#then im annoyed bc my sisters are passive aggressive 24/7 and hate my existence and my mom is depressed lol#and i have no one to talk to or be with. it's summer and i wanna do stuff but i just dont wanna do it alone lmao#and then im just sad bc of many things.....#also i hate myself bc im a loser failure piece of shit but like yeah that's normal for me to feel#i just hate everything and it's so hard to endure this lame ass existence skskskskks#why cant ANYTHING be good ever in my life??#i am garbage and im surrounded by bad things lmao... anyways can i just stop breathing now pls#and it's not just a 'tiny' thing like my headphones not working like it might seem to others#but when u live a life where NOTHING is good or NOTHING works everything just piles on#ppl dont seem to understand that normally bc most ppl have some good things in their lives#so they just cannot comprehend what it's like when nothing works on any level in your life lok#ofc im depressed ofc im angry and bitter and dejected. i have no good things or moments at all in my life. that tears u down#i mean ofc i could be living in an active warzone and that'd be .. pretty awful i can imagine. but yeah... my situation is still not ideal#like i mean i do actually try to practice gratitude of having a roof over my head my own room water in the pipes and food so i dont starve#i am thankful for that bc many ppl dont even have that#i still feel depressed tho <3#idk what im talking abt now i just feel SO bad and i have no one to talk to#i have nothing to do... no help no treatment... everyone hates me and wants me dead......#why should i fight when no one cares abt me anyway... well.. i mean i do wanna experience more nature but like idk#im just so exhausted... why cant i ever have smth good in my life that also dont go away after a short while lol
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bulldagger-bait · 10 days
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When it comes to hygiene tasks and self care with disability and chronic illness, its pretty much a constant case of: don't let perfect be the enemy of the good.
Basically: it's better to do something, than to do nothing at all.
TLDR: Just because you can't do something "properly" doesn't mean you shouldn't do it at all. Do it half-way. Do it shitty. Do it barely. Do it on a technicality. But do what you can. Just try, because doing something will help you.
If you don't have the energy to scrub your body with a sponge, just rub soap over your skin with your hands.
If you don't have the energy to wash your whole body with soap, just hit the places where sweat accumulates, or where you're smelliest.
If you don't have the energy to wash with soap AT ALL, just sitting in water is better than nothing. It will wash away dirt and oils.
If you can't bathe or shower at all, a warm wash cloth is your new best friend. If that's too much, then try bath wipes. They're a bit bigger than regular wet wipes, and a bit more heavy duty. They're designed to help keep bed ridden patients clean in hospitals.
If you don't have the energy to dry yourself after a bath or a shower, just put on a bathrobe and get into bed. If you don't have the energy to get dressed afterwards, just don't. It can wait until you can.
If you don't have energy to brush your teeth for two minutes, honestly, just a cursory scrub is better than not doing anything.
If you can't brush your teeth twice a day, brush in the evenings. It will help take away the build up of food from the day.
If you don't have the energy to brush AT ALL, honestly, just take a cloth and wipe the plaque off your teeth. Rinse with mouth wash after if you'd like. Something is always better than nothing.
If you can't floss twice a day. Try once. If that's too much, try a few times a week. If that's too much, try setting aside a day once a week as a goal. If you can't keep a schedule, do it when you're able to. Hell, I keep some floss next to my bed so that if I forget and don't have the energy to go get it, I can just reach over.
If you can't iron your clothes, don't bother. Wrinkles are fine. Wear jumpers over wrinkly t-shirts. No one will know, and honestly, most people won't even care. If it's really wrinkly and it's A Big Deal And It Needs To Be Ironed, here's my life hack. Step 1: take a spray bottle, and spritz the item of clothing (while you're wearing it is easiest) until it's lightly damp. Step 2: use a hair-dryer on the clothes until they're dry. It gets rid of creases like nobody's business, it's easier than lugging out the iron and ironing board, and you get to have nice toasty warm clothes afterwards.
If you can't fold your clothes, try just hanging them up. It's less commitment. It's quicker to do. Granted, you need to have the space in order to do this, but it is also good at helping you downsize, and lets you visualise exactly what you have.
If you can't put your clothes away, invest in a couple of laundry baskets, and then just keep your clean clothes in the baskets. You can then separate washed clothes into underwear, pants, and shirts baskets. You can just leave them like that. I'm giving you permission to never fold your laundry again if you can't. Just leave it unfolded. Who's going to care? Something is better than nothing. If you can, try to put those baskets into your closet so that you can keep the clutter out of sight, and give yourself a more restful environment.
If you can't separate your clothing out into different categories and wash them "properly" (whites, warm tones, cool tones, darks, delicates / switching between hot & cold washes / paying attention to laundry instructions on the label) then just don't worry about it. If you cold wash your clothes, colours won't bleed. Maybe gradually over the course of dozens of washes there'll be some changes in hue, but it's really not as high stakes as the One Red Sock In The Whites Turns Them Pink trope makes it out to be.
I've pretty much come to the point in my life where if a piece of clothing can't survive the washer and dryer, then it's just not meant to be. I colour separate my clothes, and if I have the energy/remember I'll take my bras and jumpers out of the washing machine to drip dry. But otherwise, I leave it to the universe.
If you can't separate out your recycling, then don't. If you have a large amount of rubbish you need to get rid of but the idea of separating it out properly is stopping you from doing so, then just don't worry about it. I know it's not ideal, but if you have garbage in your room/house and you need to get rid of it, please just get rid of it. Don't let the problem get bigger and harder to deal with. Don't let "doing something properly" get in the way of keeping your living spaces clean. Please. Give yourself understanding.
If you can't wash your dishes, get paper plates. Obviously, it's not ideal, but it is better that you eat food than skipping meals. It is better that you have a clean kitchen, rather than having dishes piling up and making it harder to look after yourself.
If you can't prepare meals for yourself keep making the tasks easier and easier. If you can't do recipes, then simplify. Use pasta sauce from the jar instead of making it. Eat canned soup. Buy food you can just stick in the oven. If you eat fish fingers and microwave veggies every night, it's better than not eating anything at all. It's better than having to fork out money on take-out. If you need ready-made meals, then get them. If you're literally just eating a raw cauliflower for dinner; 1) I see you, 2) me too, sis, 3) something is better than nothing.
These are the basic things you need to do every day to function as a person. They are your activities of daily living. Brushing your teeth. Bathing or showering. Using the bathroom. Getting dressed. Eating. Drinking. Sleeping. Keeping your environment clean. You don't need to do these things perfectly, but they need to happen in order for you to have a decent quality of life.
And it breaks my heart, because I know that so many disabled people can't do these things every day. I'm not saying this to guilt or judge, I'm saying that these are basic needs; you deserve these things. These things bring dignity. If a disabled person is unable to do these things, it diminishes their quality of life. It robs them of dignity.
If you need help to do these things, Its okay to ask for help. It's okay to need help. But if you can't get that help and you have to do these things by yourself -- or you just plain want to be independent and do it without help-- then don't hold yourself to standards you can't meet.
Don't let perfect be the enemy of the good. Doing something is always better than doing nothing. Even if it's not perfect. Even if it's not done well. Do what you can.
#lord knows that im still trying to pull myself out of the muck and into independence and dignity#i had to set a rule for myself that i need to wear clean clothes every day. and that i need to wear pyjamas to bed#that one's been hard. sometimes I dont have the energy to do it and i just stay in the same clothes for two days at a time#or i go to sleep in what i was wearing. but when i do follow that rule my quality of life is drastically better#not feeling dirty or gross goes a long way to making you feel more like a person#i also made a rule that im not allowing myself to look frumpy outside anymore. that means clothes that look nice#no more trackies and pj pants and all that stuff. i basically lived in perpetual pyjamas for four years and im over it#i still dress comfortably but the important thing is that i dress. i look put together. i wear things that make me happy#(and i didnt need to buy anything to do so. i just needed to start taking better care of myself)#and i stopped letting perfect be the enemy of the good. i started doing things shitty rather than not doing it at all#and the more i keep pushing with my ADLs the better i feel#what helps is now i dont have to contend with stairs and that has made a dramatic change to what im able to accomplish#ive also finally built up enough strength in my body that im able to go to the shops by myself. so i can buy things to make easy meals#and mum doesnt mind if i just put some things in the oven or air fryer for us for dinner.#i still cant really cook. i felt bad about that for the longest time. i didnt even try bc i knew what id make would be disappointing#or it wouldnt be up to the standards of what everyone else was making. i was so sick of feeling like a let down all the time.#now i just make what i can and my mum doesnt complain bc shes in the same boat.#and yeah. having help would be nice. it would mean id be able to do more than what i can do by myself.#and its great to see how far ive come. but im not a burden. and when i have the accommodations i need i can do a lot more#i do something rather than nothing and my life has dramatically changed since then. ive just gotten better and better.#chronic illness#disability#chronic pain#spoonie#one things for certain and thats that im never going to let myself rely on anyone else ever again.#i never want to be on the other side of that ever again. I don't want to be anyone's burden. i dont want that hanging over me#i do things by myself or i dont do them at all. and god fucking willing i'll never go back to needing as much help as i used to#i really didnt realise just how much of an obstacle living with stairs was in my life. it was the biggest barrier against everything#stairs stopped me from being independent. if i couldnt traverse them i just didnt go anywhere. my world shrank so much#and not having the proper wheelchair shrinks my world even more. im stronger than i used to be but im still severely limited in where i go
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petz5 · 2 years
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grabs him by the scruff of his neck like a kitten
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im-smart-i-swear · 5 months
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guy trapped in a hell of his own creation: haha ive never done anything wrong in my entire life. and im always right:] anyway. why did my little brother move out:(
its so funny to me that at first glance tashi seems like hed be the most 'normal' out of all the clones but at least all the others are slowly healing n shit while hes just getting more and more insane each day and one day hell snap and explode and maim someone
#my art#my funky guys#HES SO FUCKING STUPID.#tashi im sorry ily but youre literally the dumbes fucking motherfucker ive ever seen. and a cringe loser. never change king<3#like. this guy realised he was a clone when he was a month old and decided to base his new personality entirely#on the idealised version of the original he made up in his head.#like he did this to himself!!! he chose to revolve his entire personality around being a 'perfect flawless mom friend'!!!!!!!#in his head hes like the most selfless & altruistic person to ever walk the earth but in reality hes a sad selfish mess who just wants to#be loved.#he started out as a pretty nice and level headed guy who wanted to help ppl but then it just spiraled when he made that his entire#personality bc of his inability to move on from a lie he really wanted to be true.#he percieves shiro as this perfect flawless leader figure and he wants DESPERATELY to imitate that. deep down its not enough for him to#simply coparent and share responsibility w the others. no no no he has to be The Leader and do everything himself!#this mindset results in him later on starting to dismiss and undervalue his familys work and commitment to keeping them all alive-#esp soup. like sHE WAS THERE W HIM FROM THE VERY BEGINNING THEY ARE EQUALS THEY ARE BOTH EQUALLY IMPORTRANT#AND HES SO FAR UP HIS ASS HE FORGOT. somewhere along the line he forgot. he missed the point. he spiraled too deep.#and he knows. he knows but hes so terrified of change and growth and admitting he CANT do this alone.#he wants to be a cool epic capable solo leader AND he craves family and connection soooo badly he cant live w/o his loved ones.#so yeah. hes an angry little pathetic freak<3 i love him#despite all that hes not a bad person. just a flawed guy thrown into a situation so stressful and traumatising that he clinged to the only#coping mechanism he had at the time and just sorta. ran with it.#dw he gets better tho! it takes a lot and his and sticks relationship is strained for a LONG time but he slowly gets better. good for him
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aintmyjewelry · 7 months
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I do think i need to delete instagram
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fatcowboys · 8 months
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frustrating how fucking. disabling. being disabled is rn. im tired
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fvedyetor · 3 hours
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..
#delete later vent sorry#fuck shit fuck shit fuck shitfuckc fuckkkk#man i was having a great day too#will continue to have a great day soon after i get over this#but oh man#lol i love posting a silly poll and then immediately venting abt garbage shit. fucking hell on my parents for bringing up garbage shit rn#why tf couldnt they wait until i was having therapy to bring up something like that#bc now ur fucking triggering my ocd and im not having therapy for 3 weeks and im gonna be fucking miserable with bad thoughts#itd be even worse with their fucking idea.#i hate ocd bc it makes me a horrible person who cant exist. and i cant tell them why their ideas are horrible bc then they'll know how#horrible i and my brain are. jesus fucking hell what the fuck man#delete later#genuinely that idea makes me wanna kms and if they carry it out i will wanna kms. or run away. or move. or something fucking christ man.#bc i cant live like that. and this is not a good time to fuck me up like that#what the fuck#i have so much other shit in my life to deal with and ur trying to worsen my mental health and make my life a living hell?? what the fuck#and i cant explain to them why bc its fucking ocd and im a horrible person and they cant know that man what the fuck.#and they cant just trust me. from their pov everything is fine. they ''believe and trust in me'' that im ''capable of this''#fucking hell i am not#and i wont get better if you do this#i will get infinitely worse#i was doing so much better#oh boy wont my therapist be happy that i can do that new workbook she got huh#the therapist i wont see for three more weeks bc of the holiday on thursday#ok gotta go back to making art and distracting myself i cant just wallow in awful feelings#like they seem to want me to#fucking hell#sorry
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