#i still cant really cook. i felt bad about that for the longest time. i didnt even try bc i knew what id make would be disappointing

[thats-sir-dyke-to-you]

When it comes to hygiene tasks and self care with disability and chronic illness, its pretty much a constant case of: don't let perfect be the enemy of the good.

Basically: it's better to do something, than to do nothing at all.

TLDR: Just because you can't do something "properly" doesn't mean you shouldn't do it at all. Do it half-way. Do it shitty. Do it barely. Do it on a technicality. But do what you can. Just try, because doing something will help you.

If you don't have the energy to scrub your body with a sponge, just rub soap over your skin with your hands.

If you don't have the energy to wash your whole body with soap, just hit the places where sweat accumulates, or where you're smelliest.

If you don't have the energy to wash with soap AT ALL, just sitting in water is better than nothing. It will wash away dirt and oils.

If you can't bathe or shower at all, a warm wash cloth is your new best friend. If that's too much, then try bath wipes. They're a bit bigger than regular wet wipes, and a bit more heavy duty. They're designed to help keep bed ridden patients clean in hospitals.

If you don't have the energy to dry yourself after a bath or a shower, just put on a bathrobe and get into bed. If you don't have the energy to get dressed afterwards, just don't. It can wait until you can.

If you don't have energy to brush your teeth for two minutes, honestly, just a cursory scrub is better than not doing anything.

If you can't brush your teeth twice a day, brush in the evenings. It will help take away the build up of food from the day.

If you don't have the energy to brush AT ALL, honestly, just take a cloth and wipe the plaque off your teeth. Rinse with mouth wash after if you'd like. Something is always better than nothing.

If you can't floss twice a day. Try once. If that's too much, try a few times a week. If that's too much, try setting aside a day once a week as a goal. If you can't keep a schedule, do it when you're able to. Hell, I keep some floss next to my bed so that if I forget and don't have the energy to go get it, I can just reach over.

If you can't iron your clothes, don't bother. Wrinkles are fine. Wear jumpers over wrinkly t-shirts. No one will know, and honestly, most people won't even care. If it's really wrinkly and it's A Big Deal And It Needs To Be Ironed, here's my life hack. Step 1: take a spray bottle, and spritz the item of clothing (while you're wearing it is easiest) until it's lightly damp. Step 2: use a hair-dryer on the clothes until they're dry. It gets rid of creases like nobody's business, it's easier than lugging out the iron and ironing board, and you get to have nice toasty warm clothes afterwards.

If you can't fold your clothes, try just hanging them up. It's less commitment. It's quicker to do. Granted, you need to have the space in order to do this, but it is also good at helping you downsize, and lets you visualise exactly what you have.

If you can't put your clothes away, invest in a couple of laundry baskets, and then just keep your clean clothes in the baskets. You can then separate washed clothes into underwear, pants, and shirts baskets. You can just leave them like that. I'm giving you permission to never fold your laundry again if you can't. Just leave it unfolded. Who's going to care? Something is better than nothing. If you can, try to put those baskets into your closet so that you can keep the clutter out of sight, and give yourself a more restful environment.

If you can't separate your clothing out into different categories and wash them "properly" (whites, warm tones, cool tones, darks, delicates / switching between hot & cold washes / paying attention to laundry instructions on the label) then just don't worry about it. If you cold wash your clothes, colours won't bleed. Maybe gradually over the course of dozens of washes there'll be some changes in hue, but it's really not as high stakes as the One Red Sock In The Whites Turns Them Pink trope makes it out to be.

I've pretty much come to the point in my life where if a piece of clothing can't survive the washer and dryer, then it's just not meant to be. I colour separate my clothes, and if I have the energy/remember I'll take my bras and jumpers out of the washing machine to drip dry. But otherwise, I leave it to the universe.

If you can't separate out your recycling, then don't. If you have a large amount of rubbish you need to get rid of but the idea of separating it out properly is stopping you from doing so, then just don't worry about it. I know it's not ideal, but if you have garbage in your room/house and you need to get rid of it, please just get rid of it. Don't let the problem get bigger and harder to deal with. Don't let "doing something properly" get in the way of keeping your living spaces clean. Please. Give yourself understanding.

If you can't wash your dishes, get paper plates. Obviously, it's not ideal, but it is better that you eat food than skipping meals. It is better that you have a clean kitchen, rather than having dishes piling up and making it harder to look after yourself.

If you can't prepare meals for yourself keep making the tasks easier and easier. If you can't do recipes, then simplify. Use pasta sauce from the jar instead of making it. Eat canned soup. Buy food you can just stick in the oven. If you eat fish fingers and microwave veggies every night, it's better than not eating anything at all. It's better than having to fork out money on take-out. If you need ready-made meals, then get them. If you're literally just eating a raw cauliflower for dinner; 1) I see you, 2) me too, sis, 3) something is better than nothing.

These are the basic things you need to do every day to function as a person. They are your activities of daily living. Brushing your teeth. Bathing or showering. Using the bathroom. Getting dressed. Eating. Drinking. Sleeping. Keeping your environment clean. You don't need to do these things perfectly, but they need to happen in order for you to have a decent quality of life.

And it breaks my heart, because I know that so many disabled people can't do these things every day. I'm not saying this to guilt or judge, I'm saying that these are basic needs; you deserve these things. These things bring dignity. If a disabled person is unable to do these things, it diminishes their quality of life. It robs them of dignity.

If you need help to do these things, Its okay to ask for help. It's okay to need help. But if you can't get that help and you have to do these things by yourself -- or you just plain want to be independent and do it without help-- then don't hold yourself to standards you can't meet.

Don't let perfect be the enemy of the good. Doing something is always better than doing nothing. Even if it's not perfect. Even if it's not done well. Do what you can.

[bbybaku]

cranky no nut november boyfriend shigaraki

yes i know its july. 

1.8 k words 

slow burn but there is smut 

warnings: angry shig, humiliation, degrading, oral (fem recieving), use of vibrator, shoes on bed, angst, fluff, mentions of masturbtion

your boyfriend, tomura shigaraki, had made a bet with his friends, about who could last the longest during no nut november.

you thought a month wouldn’t be that bad, right? you guys could handle it.

the first few days were nothing. you two were busy and didnt think that much of it. 

but the first weekend shiggy had invited you over to watch a movie. which was usually code for “let’s fuck”

you went over to his apartment, about 20 minutes into the movie you slipped your hand under the blanket, feeling around for his cock.

“hey” he said softly but irritated as he picked up your hand and moved it.

“what? we always-“ you asked

“i’m taking this month seriously, i can eat you out or something but we cant, you cant” he said

 you were not expecting him to take it this seriously.

you knew your boyfriend he never took anything seriously? why did he have to take this stupid month seriously.

“well, do you want?” he asked as he ran his fingers over your clothed clit.

“no let’s just hang out tonight” you said.

“okay” he said then kissed you on the head and pulled you into his lap.

you could feel his erection. but you knew you had to ignore it. 

week 2 was easy because shigaraki was out of town for a work trip.

you didn’t know how he was doing it. no sex was one thing, but not even masturbating?

you had been touching yourself every day to the thought of him, the pictures you had of him and sometimes 

the movies you had made together.

the night he got back he came straight to your apartment.

he looked pale.

you went in for a hug, but he pushed you away.

“no” he snapped “ i just wanted to see you”

you gulped “oh okay”

you cooked dinner and he told you about the trip.

the space between your thighs ached the entire evening.

you asked him to stay the night but he said he no.

and he left. 

it was day 15. you needed him. your hand could only do so much. you couldnt do what he could do. he knew your body better than you did. 

you texted him to hang out. 

the two of you got coffee then made out in the car. 

his mouth tasted so good. your body presses against the console, arms around his neck. the kiss starting equal but he very quickly shoved his tongue in your mouth. he took your jaw in his hand and held your face while his tongue circled yours. you sucked on his bottom lip. his hand found your tit. your hand found his crotch. 

shigaraki instantly pulled away, he was pissed “how many fucking times do i have to tell you no?” 

you sighed “im sorry i just-” 

he pushed his hair out of his face and took your jaw in his hand again. “look at me. i want to be inside of you so bad. i think about you all the time. i love you so much but we just cant right now.”

 his tone made you want him even more. it was embarrassing how hot you got  when he was irritated. and he knew it. 

“i hate this stupid challenge” you said through his grip on your jaw. 

“do you want to be like that?”  he talked down to you with a smirk.

“we can always go back to my apartment, and work on your attitude” he said letting go of your face and grabbing the gear shift. 

you had soaked through your panties a while ago. you were excited but knew you wouldnt be filled up the way you wanted to be. 

the drive to shiggys apartment was agonizing. the sexual tension was higher now than it was on your first date. it felt like you were getting stopped at every red light, the car in front of you was always going slow. and both of you were sweating. 

he had one hand rubbing your thigh and the other on the steering wheel, except at stops when he would run it through his shaggy hair. when he finally got to his apartment complex the two of you practically sprinted inside. 

“elevator?” you asked pressing the up button repeatedly. 

he took his hands out of his pockets and said “stairs” 

the two of you raced up to the fourth floor, you beat him but just barely. once both of you were in the hallway he picked you up and slung you over his shoulder.

once in his apartment he didnt even turn the lights on, he took you to his bed and threw you on it. 

he stood over you and sighed. “its your lucky day” he then pushed you up to the headboard and pulled off your panties. so eager, you were both still wearing shoes and the window was open. 

you shivered at the cold air on your exposed heat. 

shigaraki just stared for a minute. he loved vulnerability. 

he loved having you at his mercy. 

he pushed your skirt up and grabbed onto your thighs. 

“i knew you would be soaked.” he shook his head “such a whore” he said.

and just like that he dove right in.  

he licked up your folds and you bucked your hips to meet him. 

his grip on your thighs tightened and he pushed you into the bed.

“dont move” he met your eyes when he said it.

he started sucking hickies on your inner thighs, his fingers teasing at your clit. 

you held his head in your hands, not directing him, but rubbing his scalp. 

he occasionally hummed into your thighs at the feeling. 

he pulled off of your inner thigh and brought his mouth and nose to your entrance. you whimpered, expecting him to relieve your ache. 

he blew cold air on your exposed heat. 

you cried out. 

and shigaraki crawled up to meet you at eye level. 

he straddled you and leaned down “beg.” he whispered 

“please” you whispered

“i dont get anything for this. why should i be nice if i dont get the reward of your tight little pussy? or getting to fuck your pretty face. make it worth my while. give me this one little thing.  i said to beg like the whore you are.” 

you gulped. “please tomura. i touch myself to the thought of you every day and nothing satisfies me like you do. i just want you. i want you to fill me up and please let me come. please sir.” 

“hmm okay, i guess but its embarrassing that you touch yourself so much, you really are a whore.” he said as he repositioned his mouth at your entrance. 

he once again pinned your hips to the bed and brough his mouth to your entrance.

his long slender fingers ran through your folds a few times before stopping at your clit and rubbing circles. 

you moaned in pleasure, finally. shigaraki was relieving your ache. 

he sucked on your entrance and drank your juice like it was water from the tap. you could feel his tongue at your entrance, he tease then run his tongue through your folds. 

your entire body was shaking and the knot in your stomach was about to release. 

“please i - can i please” you whined. 

shikaraki hummed yes into you, his grip on your thighs tightening 

the hum was what sent your over the edge, your walls tightening and releasing around shigarakis mouth. 

he pulled off for a moment and looked at you “that was fast. youre so easy, y/n, you know that?” 

and at that he went right back to what he was doing, only this time it was his finger. at your entrace and his tongue on your clit. 

his tongue going all around and eventually stopping and making out with your bud. 

you were crying at the pleasure. 

his long fingers going in and out, and in and out. at no particular speed or regularity and occasionally stoping to curl inside you. 

your hands went to shiggys hair, but you couldnt control yourself the way you had earlier. your hands were shaking as the held onto his head.

you came again, it was so fast you didn’t even have the time to ask.

you could feel him smiling on you.

shigaraki pinched your thigh, acknowledging your high, but showed no sign of stopping.

he maneuvered a little bit, grabbing something under the bed while still fingering you. 

if you thought you were a mess before, you were wrong. because you were even more of a mess when shigaraki started rubbing around your clit with a vibrator. 

your back arched and you grabbed onto the sheets, so as not to pull on shiggys hair, “pleASE. m-gonna c--um” you barely got out. 

your lower body convulsing. 

tears started streaming down your face, it hurt so good. “dont cum yet, baby. i want you to wait this time. like i have to wait.” 

“no-oh-oh-o” you sobbed 

shigaraki mustve been getting irritated because his grip on you tightened, and he pinched your inner thigh. 

“please” you whimpered, running your fingers through his hair as gently as you could. 

“no” he said sweetly. 

your vision was starting to blur and you were still crying, “isnt this what you wanted darling?” shigaraki asked. 

you only sobbed in response, you were loosing the ability to form coherent sentences. 

the knot in your stomach released without warning, and you came on shigaraki’s vibrator. 

with that he sighed and stood up, going to the bathroom to help you clean up. 

despite your scattered brain, you knew your boyfriend well enough to know that he was in agony. 

“does it hurt?” you asked him between deep breaths. 

refering to how bad he wanted you, and how hard he was in his pants. 

he waled back in with a towel and said “yes” looking down at the ground. 

“well what if we” you started. 

“no, im tired of having to explain this to you.”

“please, i just want you so bad” you begged as he climbed on top pf you.

“i said no! just fucking shut up” he snapped

“why?" you whinned

he found your wrists and pinned your hands beside your head on the bed. 

“everyone gets a different penalty. do you know what mine is if i fail? huh? do you want to know”

"um i-” 

you went to speak but no words came out. 

shigaraki leaned down “my penalty is to send the group chat a video of us having sex” 

“oh” you said feeling yourself blush

he gulped and looked away “which i really dont want to do because you are mine.”

he released your wrists and fell on top of you, “youre all mine” 

“please just wait 2 more weeks” he whispered into your neck. 

masterlist

[khristinewriteandcapture]

Series Reviews (2020)

4. Itaewon Class

Follow your heart and be yourself. A life without regrets regardless of consequences. Everything is all about timing. When you get the timing right, all is well.

This drama has taught me so much. Right now, I am in a state where just like Yi-Seo, I don't know what I want and wondering if life is really worth living.

It is truly great to feel acknowledge by someone. Saeroyi kept that in mind and always do it to his employees. He is a true leader by being with them and helping each other. I didn't know Park Seo Joon can have this inspiring aside from being handsome and funny in romantic comedy dramas. He can also be a role model and inspiring actor. It's nice to know that there are  dramas like this who want to inspire everyone to believe in the power of their dreams and desire. The only bad thing (for me) about this is that some desire was ignite with revenge. It's not a healthy way of living to be honest.

Being fueled by anger and wanting to take revenge is not healthy to someone but by Saeroyi's case, that ignition of avenging his father's death made him stronger in a good way. He wanted to make his father's dream come true as well but also want to people who make his life miserable pay for what they've done.

Itaewon Class is truly an amazing drama to watch. It will surely give you lessons in life that you eventually want to do.

They also have interesting set of cast. All have different stories to tell and I think their stories also make it more inspiring to watch.

I want to talk about Chairman Jang first. His power and manipulation really irritates me at first. He said he build Jangga Co. for his family but I guess he did not. He build it for himself. For his pride and status. He lived his early years being poor and having to be at other people mercy so when he got the chance to have power, he easily grabbed it and never let go.

He's just like everybody else. Afraid to be powerless. Also, even though he want to look like a manipulator who doesn't have a heart, he still want warmth. He's human anyway.

To the actor who portray Chairman Jang, I knew him in another drama, I was shocked when I first saw him because his role in the other drama which he started in was way different from his role here.

If you watched Strong Woman Do Bong Soon and remembered his father. Here he is now. He's not a walnut and a battered husband anymore. He's the Chairman and a cunning strong tiger.

I wanted to get angry with him but I can still see the father of Do Bong Soon. He was a great father there and even though this was a different role, I still see him as a softie. I get irritated by him.

After Chairman Jang, let's move on to his sons. The Jang Brothers.

First off, the legitimate one. Jang Geun-won. The black sheep heir. The trouble maker and good for nothing son. He's the reason why the whole revenge thing happen. It's all because of him. And if not because of him, there wouldn't be any story. So, even though he's a pain, he is also the main reason we have this drama. Let's give him that credit.

Jang Geun-won also has this habit of being undeniable stupid for some reason in this drama. He cant stand up for himself and always hide in his father's back. But behind all of that, he is just a son who clearly doesn't know what to do with his life. Ever since he was young, he was entitled to be the next chairman of their company. Everything was easy for him so when shit occurs, he doesn't know what to do.

He was like a lost child. I feel sorry for him. And all those years, all he wants was Oh Soo-ah to notice him even for a bit. Even if he was the next chairman and all the attention was on him, the attention from a specific he needed the most was not given to him. So, he acted crazy.

Why do we have to accept the love we think we deserve and not the love given to us? Or simply, why do we like someone who doesn't like us back? Poor Jang Geun-won. You'll get your happy ending. But first, be good.

After the elder one, next is the baby brother. Baby half brother. Jang Geun-soo. Yi-Seo's pushover but turned cunning and irritating antagonist.

He was cute really. Until he wanted to take over Jangga Co. Okay, he wanted Yi-Seo but all the things he did just to make her like him. That is not the way to make a girl fall in love dude! How can you make her yours if you're destroying her?

He's smart, I'll give him that but he's also stupid for doing such things.

 How can someone be trustworthy end up betraying you?

Jang Geun-soo wanted to be loved just like his brother and just like him, he acted crazy. I feel sad for this father and sons.

Okay, so up next is Oh Soo-ah. The competent and beautiful Oh Soo-ah. The 15-year love of Saeroyi.

She is competent. But her values in life is want irritates me. She doesn't want to end up like Mr. Park (dad of Saeroyi) so she studied hard and eventually because successful by entering the company who destroyed the life of someone she cherish.

At first it was a slick move. Maybe she has something in her sleeves. Maybe she'll get revenge. But no. In the end, she was used to be torture Saeroyi.

She was manipulated because all she wanted was a relax life. She was an orphan. She wanted to live a life where she can never feel being sympathize again.

Also being confident about Saeroyi's feelings for her was a little annoying. She knew about his feelings but always took it for granted and when she had the chance to say hers, it was too late.

Soo-ah just wanted to stop her life of misery. She just wants to be happy but now, the only person who she want to be happy with no longer feel the way he felt before.

Timing is everything.

This review is getting longer than I thought and I still want to include all the members here. My mind is in fire right now. I think this is the longest review I've done. I dont think anyone would read this shit post. Hahahaha! It's so long! But, hey. It's my blog anyway.

Soooooo!

Let's move on to the main cast!

Itaewon Class or IC Co is the company name of DanBam. DanBam is a pub located at Itaewon. A place in Korea where you can see the world. Different nationalities are gathered in Itaewon.

I should be saying this to the beginning but anyway! DanBam consist of 5 employees turned into shareholders. 4 of them are now shareholders and of course, the fifth member is Saeroyi himself. He's the CEO.

Let's talk about Toni. The foreign looking dude who happened to end up working to DanBam while looking for his korean father. I was surprised to see an african guy in a korean drama not that I don't expected but it was surprising and he was so fluent in hangul. I was in awe.

I can say Toni was the type of guy with compassion and sensitivity. For a foreign looking guy to claim hes korean was brave of him. No one can tell you who and what you are. You are the one who thinks of yourself. You know yourself better than others.

Wow. I should tell that to myself.

Next is Seung-Woo, the hard headed, oldie, classic style Seung-kwon.

He is literally hard headed because at some scene, he was hit by a bottle of bear but I guess it didn't hurt him. He looks old and his moves are waaaay funny but what I like about him is that even though he was from a bad past, he left that all behind him and started a new life with Saeroyi. He was also inspired by what he said and wanted to live just like him. He devoted his life for him. Having someone loyal like him will make you at ease all the time. Even if he sometimes annoy you.

He can be really annoying but when you need him to cheer you up, he'll be there.

Ma Hyun-Yi. You all know her right? Do you also know Seon Ok from Weightlifting Fairy Kim Book Joo? Yup. It is her. The mighty Seon Ok. She changed her career from weightlifting to cooking. Hahahaha! Just kidding.

I knew Seon Ok will be a very promising actress after WFKBJ. I was also waiting for this break for her.

She portray a very special role. Stating that you should not be afraid to be who you are. You don't also need to explain yourself to others or get their approval.

Just like what Saeroyi's principles, follow your heart and be yourself.

Hyun-yi became true to herself and end up being happy and successful by the way.

After that, we now got the most powerful woman in Itaewon. The one who made a small pub became big. Featured in one of the businesswomen in Forbes Magazine. The one and only, Jo Yi-Seo.

Who would have the thought? The crazy party girl would be a most competent businesswomen in Korea at the age of 24? Yup. I think it can happen in real life 

Anyways, Yi-Seo. She's like someone I want to be. Full of confidence. Smart and slightly cunning and determined. At the first part of the drama, I can see myself to her. Literally. The words she said and how she felt about living.

And the everything changed. When she met him.

I don't want to think that I really need to meet a certain someone to be really determined in life but...maybe...maybe I needed that. But how? I don't want to go out of my room. Hahahaha.

Anyway, Yi-seo was on the verge of giving up then he met Saeroyi. Her life changed as she wanted to help him. Not going to college and working at the age of 20 was like the greatest decision she made (and she never regret it).

Again. Timing is everything.

Yi-seo was right on time when Saeroyi needed someone the most.

She love him with all her heart and willing to help him even if he likes somebody else. If its not love then I don't know anymore. And I felt sad to know that she want to be competent for Saeroyi to need him. She badly needed to become someone he needed so she can stay with him. She don't want to leave him.

They say that behind every man success is a competent and understandable woman. And that is Yi-seo. She's the woman in Saeroyi's success. And if her feelings still don't reach him, she will do everything she can to reach him.

You see, Itaewon Class is not an ordinary korean drama. Some of you might liked Crash Landing on You. I recommend you watch this drama too. You'll never regret.

[irwinkitten]

do we get soft little princess content any time soon?? i'm missing dad!ash and his little princess

this has been sat in my inbox for like, weeks. i’m so sorry i’m this disaster who cant keep up with thingshowever for the first time in well over a year, i finally got that little princess update because i re-read it and i’m soft for my babies. warnings: sugary sweet fluffword count: 1.2kish. it’s a small one lmao 

masterlist for the little princess series

masterlist for all my writing

part twenty three

-

Landing back in LA felt like chaos personified, especially after the extended honeymoon the two of you had, but neither of you realised it was what you needed.

-

Lay next to Ashton, his body practically glowing in that post sex haze you were both in, you found yourself thanking whatever deity put him in your life.

“Baby?” Ashton’s eyes were watching you, his body shifting and you matched his movement, lay facing him. His arms pulled you closer, a kiss to your neck, leaving you with a soft smile as you hummed in appreciation.

“Just thinking.” 

“What about?” His eyes were curious now and you hesitated. But it felt right, at least, to talk. But not with your husband-god you still couldn’t believe that-looking so delicious lay next to you.

So you shifted your leg over his hip, pushing yourself to straddle him, a strangled moan escaping his lips as you rolled your hips against his, leaning down to press a kiss to his lips.

“In the morning. I think another round is in order.” 

The following morning had you both showered and in light clothes. You’d cooked breakfast and finally decided it was time to talk.

“You ready to hear what I was thinking about last night? Other than having you in every way possible?” The tease brought a blush to his cheeks with a smirk before he nodded.

“Honestly, part of my mind was stuck on the baby we lost. How difficult it had been for all of us. You especially.”

He frowned but didn’t interrupt as he held his arms open to you, and you took the silent invitation, settling in his lap as his arms wrapped around you tightly.

“What brought this on baby?” 

“I didn’t realise how sad we were till I saw your smile when I met you at the altar. The smile you had when our little girl realised that her daddy loved her just as much as she loves him and that you wanted her too. And last night, god it felt like when we were first dating all over again.” The giggle that escaped you as his lips found your neck, trying to pull your skin from his reach.

“All mine.” He muttered, making you laugh.

“Alright caveman. But everything we went through, I couldn’t see how sad you were, and I’m sorry. It was your baby too and my only reaction was like I was the only one suffering.” Ashton shook his head almost immediately.

“You had to feel every moment of that. I wasn’t expecting you to get over it, love. But we’ve got time on our side.” His voice was reassuring and soft and you couldn’t stop the smile from overtaking your lips.

“How about we spend longer out here? I’d feel bad asking your mum to keep our little girl for a month-” 

“It’s our honeymoon. We’ve got a village to help raise her and I think we needed to get away from everyone to really accept the recovery from losing the baby. I don’t think anyone is going to begrudge us this time together. I’ll talk to Luke and see if he can take our little miss for the last couple of weeks, that way it’s not all on my mum. And she’ll already be home when we get back.” 

“Sounds like a plan. Now Mister Irwin, there is a private pool with a view to die for and you’re wearing far too many clothes.” The coy smile you gave him as you made your way off his lap, had him smirking in return.

“I could say the same about you, Mrs Irwin.” You laughed as you shed your own clothes, stepping out to the secluded area as you heard Ashton’s footsteps join you.

-

The chaos that surrounded LA made you groan as the two of you collected your luggage, both of you having gained some colour to your skin in the Hawaiian heat.

“Is Luke meeting us home or here?” You questioned as Ashton checked his phone.

“Home. He doesn’t want to bring her out into the chaos we’re going to cause with the paps.” You snorted at that before you made your way to the pick up point. 

“Are we waiting for an Uber or-?”

“Taxi service for the Irwin’s.” Your head snapped around from Ashton to the source of the voice, grinning when you found Calum stood next to his car.

“Cal!” He laughed as he greeted you with a warm hug, giving the same treatment to Ashton before helping you both get your bags into the car.

“A little princess of yours wanted to hold a welcome home party. We kept the guest list to bare minimum because apparently she only wanted her favourite Uncles to be there as well as Shay. However, Shay is currently away for the weekend with Marc and so you get to deal with all of us.” You couldn’t resist giving Calum a deadpan look, waiting patiently before he laughed.

“It is just the three of us there and she did want to have a party for you both, but she then realised that it meant sharing you both and she’s missed you both too much to share at the moment.” Calum’s second explanation made your heart ache.

It’d been the longest you’d ever been away from her. Ashton had to stop you from facetiming her daily because he knew it would drive you insane. But it also gave him a chance to stop acting on his own urges to facetime daily to check in and see her. 

“I’ve loved this time away, but I genuinely don’t think I could leave her for that long again.” You shared a grin with Ashton once you were both in the car and Calum was pulling away from the airport.

“We fully don’t expect to see either of you at all this week because she will monopolise your time and we may or may not have been encouraging it. She’s really missed you guys.”

The rest of the car journey was filled with details of the flight, and the check in attendants amusement at how you didn’t even flinch at her saying that you both needed to pay the extra luggage fee. It was worth it in your eyes and it meant that your little girl got spoiled too.

When you got home, you’d managed to get the suitcases by the stairs before an excited scream came from the garden.

And then she was in your arms, the collision of her body into yours sending you stumbling back a little bit as she held onto you tightly.

“Nice to see that her old dad doesn’t even get the scream of delight.” Ashton teased, and it took her a second before she pulled away and wrapped herself around Ashton, not even caring at how he still picked her up despite the fact that she was getting bigger.

“Missed you too princess.” He murmured softly and your arms wrapped around both of them. 

Despite the honeymoon, she was what you’d missed the most.

It took the three of you a moment to finally pull away. You were unwilling to let go of her, but you finally moved and headed out to the back, grateful for Calum to give the three of you that moment in privacy. 

Ashton followed and your little girl hung onto him which made the other three laugh.

“Pay up. I know my niece well.” Luke crowed in amusement and you laughed as both Calum and Michael handed him some notes.

“C’mon little bird, you let me down!” Michael whined, but she merely stuck her tongue out as she rearranged herself when Ashton sat down, keeping herself firmly in his lap, but her hand had reached out for you.

You smiled as you took the spot next to Ashton, pressing a kiss to her temple.

“Your mommy’s missed you baby. I know you told us everything you did with your nana and uncle lu, but fancy telling your dad and I properly now? I want to hear everything you did on the zoo trip.” 

“But you went on a bigger holiday!” She protested, a pout on her lips.

“Yeah mom and dad. You went on a bigger holiday so you’ve gotta tell us all about it.” Michael teased, wiggling his eyebrows at you both.

You shot him a dirty look which earned a round of laughter from the boys and you sighed as your daughter stared at you in confusion.

“Your uncle Mikey is being silly, princess. So what do you want to know about our trip? Because your daddy and I did so much, and we’re definitely going to take you back so you get to experience some of the stuff we did!” 

This seemed to be the right thing to say as her stern glare that had been directed at Michael shifted to a look of pure excitement and joy.

“Really? Oh please, what did you do that we’re gonna do?” 

Ashton grinned as he launched into the first story of many, the sun sinking into the ground slowly as she listened with rapt attention, the look of awe never once leaving her face.

It felt good to be home again.

[cirillafionaelenriannon]

VIOLENTINE VIOLENTINE VIOLENTINE

1. who hogs the duvet?

definitely clementine. she’s got a lot of funny sleep habits, like kicking and talking in her sleep. she moves around a lot too, whereas violet is like a rock, super heavy sleeper. violet wakes up to clem having stolen the blanket a lot. sometimes neither of them have the blanket and its just...on the floor. 

2. who texts/rings to check how their day is going

they don’t need to they have a sixth sense. 

3. who’s the most creative when it comes to gifts

violet is! she says she hates arts and crafts but its a lie. shes very creative and prefers to make gifts rather than buy them. most of her presents to clem are probably something artsy like a drawing a poem or something cheesy and heart-felt like that. clems more of a ‘ill buy you everything you’ve ever wanted’ kind of gal. 

4. who gets up first in the morning?

it’s basically canon that clementine oversleeps. violet may sleep like a log but she wakes up super early. it’s just a habit she can’t break. 

5. who cries at movies?

clementine. but then again clementine gets more into movies than violet does. vi just sort of...critiques everything she sees and doesn’t give a shit about the characters. unless it’s like, a movie about a dog or something. 

6. who gives unprompted massages?

neither??? clementine probably tries one time but violets spine just snaps like a kit-kat and it scares her so bad she never touches violets back again. 

7. who fusses over the other when they’re sick?

clementine becomes more outwardly concerned than violet, and she’s usually really practical about it. like she wants violet to stay in bed and drink soup or something. but for violet it’s like...internal panic. like she totally thinks that clementines going to die if she gets a cold but she refuses to show this panic and eventually it blows up in her face because clementine can’t take of herself and now she actually MIGHT die like wow they’re stupid :/ 

8. who gets jealous easiest?

kind of similar to the above. they’re both equally as jealous as eachother they just show it differently. clementine tends to be more closed off with it, like she denies being jealous and thinks she isn’t, but finds herself acting more clingy than usual. but with violet she knows shes jealous and she’s gonna work with that emotion by being Extremely affectionate in public and it’s :))) 

9. who has the most embarrassing taste in music?

that...depends. clementine unironically listens to country music and violet still listens to early 2000′s emo bands so like...take ur pick. 

10. who collects something unusual?

clementine literally collects animal bones...so like....

11. who takes the longest to get ready?

violet because she has to put on her emo makeup. (dhfhd probably clementine, but i can’t imagine either of them ever really dress up that much) 

12. who is the most tidy and organised?

violet. she is a virgo, afterall. 

13. who gets most excited about the holidays?

clementine gets excited about holiday events, like halloween and all that stuff, but violet gets excited about holidays as in ‘off school’. so really i’d say clem? she probably really enjoys that kind of celebratory stuff. 

14. who is the big spoon/little spoon?

i can’t decide so like: they face eachother while cuddling. kinda like a cocoon. they’re both getting cuddles. 

15. who gets most competitive when playing games and/or sports?

clementine becomes unhinged when playing video games. she’s more chill with sports but anything competitive that she’s not automatically amazing at? she loses it. she has to win. violet likes to unleash that unbridled fury on her friends a lot. 

16. who starts the most arguments?

neither! i don’t see why they would? unless it’s like some dumb shit like...u kicked me in your sleep again...then like...idk...no point

17. who suggests that they buy a pet?

violet! she’s never had a pet before!!!

18. what couple traditions they have?

star gazing...does that count as a tradition? 

19. what tv shows they watch together?

violet really likes dinosaur documentaries and clementine really likes watching baseball but they both hate the other so basically: none. they might watch cartoons together sometime if aj’s around but other than that they just...don’t like the same tv shows. 

20. what other couple they hang out with?

none lmao. no other couples can stand them they’re so annoying (no they probably hang out with some random ppl i just cant think of who) 

21. how they spend time together as a couple?

doing dumb shit. pulling pranks on their friends etc. they literally just do a bunch of childish kid shit or study together. 

22. who made the first move?

clementine!!! in a modern au i imagine clementine just stomped up to violet one day and said can i kiss you? and vi was like ‘sure’ and then they kissed and thats it fellas ! but in canon it was clem. 

23. who brings flowers home?

violet!! she has a lot of flower knowledge! sometimes clem will bring flowers home but she’ll bring yellow and vi will get like lowkey upset (but joking) with clem like ‘are you breaking up with me?’ and clems like ‘huh????’. anyway vi knows all the flower colours and meaning so...

24. who is the best cook?

they’re both average at it! nothing special but nothing bad. 

[fortunehasabandonedus]

Day 1: One Bad Day...

Welcome to Kenshi, the game about living day to day in paranoia, hunger, and depression. I decided to make this blog just to show my friend Cori that this game is worth playing even if it isn't the prettiest game. Ugly games deserve love as well and especially when they have a passionate team behind it. Kenshi i have found to be among the best when it comes to organic story telling.

I feel like I should warn you, this game is not for the faint of heart. We got the Sims for that ;)

Our story begins with choosing my starting game and character creation. I began with the start called “The Nobodies”. The description says “A group of five nobodies, with nothing to their name, ready to go out and do something about it.” So I designed my team of five as my best friends and myself.

This is me. I’m not fit looking but the more fat options just make me look bloated. I’m hoping to be the tank of the group. Probably gonna do manual labor for the group if we get a village.

Alfonso is next, he is the tallest but I also think he will be our glass cannon. All damage but not much armor to attack quickly. Hopefully keeping him alive wont be an issue. His jobs will probably be farming/processing ore.

Cori is next. She wanted to be the scientist/engineer of the group so hopefully I can establish a little village relatively fast. She will probably also be a medic because in every game we play which honestly is just Overwatch she is a healer extraordinaire.

Gabe is next, he is probably the most fit of the group and in real life has been a  physical person so I think he will be a martial artist here. He also likes to make things so probably gonna be our brewer or artisan if and when we have a village.

Amanda is next and she has always wanted to farm in real life and also study architecture so she will be our engineer/farmer.

So there is the fated five of us. Spawning at the default town known as The Hub in the center of The Border Zone. All of us were immediately hungry and penniless. WELCOME TO KENSHI!

Quickly we ran outside the town walls, I was leading. There was a copper vein I had spotted not far off and a bar was close to it on the far side.

However, as we ran there we heard a commotion. The sounds of distressed shouting and shrieks of pain.

There was a fight between Dust Bandits and Bonedogs. It looked pretty even, Bonedogs are quick at attacking and the Dust Bandits have some armor and some numbers. 

So we waited for one group to fall so we can use the opportunity to strike. After all, this is the world of Kenshi. A world where you cant afford not to take chances.

The Bonedog fell and off we went to finish off the dust bandits. They were hurt and we had numbers. This confidence made us blind. 

We had just finished dominating the bandit when two Bonedogs attacked! We had no armor, we only had rusty clubs, and we were weakened from our fight with the dust bandits. Our confidence withered into despair. 

Alfonso was the first to fall.

Amanda followed suite. 

Cori did her best but fell shortly after.

Amanda managed to rouse her self into consciousness and decided to try and bandage Alfonso as best she could.

I was next to fall, leaving Gabe to face the dire odds by himself.

Unfortunately, the more Bonedogs appeared and noticed Amanda and Alfonso and attacked!

Meanwhile, Gabe finally fell. He showed enormous strength and courage. I was very proud.

Alfonso’s injuries were severe after the second attack by the dogs. He began to bleed out from his chest. If he didn’t receive medical attention soon, he would die.

So there our team lay, having made a decision that seemed favorable at first but costed them dearly. Some of us lay dying, others slowly got worse. I felt like this might be one of my shortest playthroughs.

Some how, by some miracle, Amanda regained consciousness! Her legs were badly injured and she couldn’t walk but she was alive.

Slowly she crawled to a nearby dust bandit corpse in hopes that she could locate a medkit to save Alfonso.

Cori woke up shortly after, impressing me further. This team is made of stronger stuff than I thought. 

She spotted another corpse nearby and decided to investigate.

The shockingly, Gabe woke up. He fought the longest and the hardest and still is third to, albeit begrudgingly, get back on his feet.

Gabe, the hero. Gabe, the savior. He picked up Alfonso and...

...immediately got attacked by Bonedogs he didn’t see. Nobody is perfect.

Amanda and Cori both crawled stealthy to the two having successfully aquired medkits. 

Alfonso was minutes away from death but with the two of them there was a chance.

It was only then that I realized that I was also on the brink of death, having sustained a really nasty injury and not immediately having it seen to.

Cori decided to split the medical help and heal me.

Amanda managed to stabilize Alfonso, dodging the title of first to die by a narrow margin.

Suprisingly, Gabe seems to be superhuman and woke up once more and bandaged himself a bit. Meanwhile, Cori managed to stabilize me. it looked like our group would live to see tomorrow after all!

The three conscious members decided to take refuge at a nearby trading post/bar. There they had beds to rest and heal faster.

Unfortunately this meant leaving Alfonso and I at the mercy of the wilds.

Gabe saw movement and quickly played dead. He began to truly grasp just how dangerous this world could be. Especially when you have so many friends you can’t afford to lose.

So he sneaked back while the others continued to crawl towards safety. He decided to bring at least one person with him seeing as he was the only able to walk upright at the moment. 

While Gabe became even more heroic, Cori panicked as she saw a stranger approaching. It was an Escaped Servant of the Holy Nation, wandering away from the giant cities of religious obsession. Cori held her breath...

...and the guy kept walking. Finally, some good news!

Gabe decided to take Alfonso with him. He was the one one nearest to death so proper care would do him better. I could wait, he decided.

Along the way to the bar, one of the injured dust bandits had a few words to say to Gabe and there were...

...quite rude.

Cori was the first to enter the bar and the barkeep said hello before deciding just to state at the woman crawling to the upstairs roof area. If he thought it was weird, he didn't show it.

After such hardships, she lay down in a bed and passed out. 

Amanda was second to arrive and once again the barkeep said a brief hello and just watched. Maybe this was a regular occurrence?

Gabe came shortly after and said hello to the barkeep who this time chose to remain silent and just stared at Alfonso’s butt.

Amanda lay down, her legs aching and she wished for nothing more than the pain to go away.

Gabe lay Alfonso down frowned at how guilty he felt. Though he fought his hardest, he knew that there were other options he could’ve chosen other than to fight to the end. He almost lost all his friends today.

The bar guard just stared at the beat up figured and TSKed in disapproval.

As most of the group enjoyed the safety of the nearby building, Jonathan lay unconscious with a group of Hungry bandits searched him for food.

They were quite rude about it.

Gabe had decided to come get me but the Hungry bandits spotted him!

He turned around and ran as fast as he could but because of his injuries could only manage a quick hobble. To his surprise, the bandits ran passed him!

They decided instead to attack a better armed and better trained guard outside the bar. Gabe thought he had nothing to worry about and in fact could use this as a money making opportunity.

Unknown to him, there was a cause for concern. A hungry bandit had snuck into he bar and found the sleeping warriors. Amanda had heard him running up the stairs and leapt into action. She had endured so much, she had shown much care and resourcefulness. She saved the group once, she would save it again. At any cost.

The cost... was her leg.The bandit struck her already weakened legs and severed the left leg. Amanda got half her wish, the pain in one leg was gone. The bandit heard his comrades losing outside and was determined to escape alive and ran downstairs.

Gabe saw a bandit running downstairs and a guard rushed to kill him. The dead bandit had some good loot on him so the payday would be decent today.

Outside, Gabe noticed a dead Bonedog and his stomach growled. Meat is meat, he supposed.

All the bandits taken care of, the bar once again fell to its lazy silence and gabe walked up to the barkeep to trade and purchase.

He got enough money for some first aid kits and some cooked meat which he ate gleefully. He would make a fire later and cook the bonedog meat for the group.

He went upstairs to check on the other and that is when his face drained. Amanda’s missing limb stirred an anger in him he had never felt before. Just then he remembered that I was out there still.

Gabe dashed out and began to run towards where I lay.

Movement caught his eye and he saw a dust bandit crawling away, the one that threatened him as he lay defeated in the sand earlier. The rage boiled inside him and changed course to the fleeing bandit. Kenshi, A world where you cant afford not to take chances.

With bloodstained hands, Gabe left the naked corpses and walked with his new set of bandit armor towards me. 

He dressed my body in armor as well from other bodies and began to carry me back to the others.

It was then that Alfonso woke up and saw the faint outline of Gabe in the darkness. He ran outside, careful not to exacerbate his injuries, and began looking for Gabe and maybe food for the group. He felt the guilt of being the first to fall.

He had no problem finding armor.

Now all he needed was food.

He found a recently vacated den of Bonedogs nearby and the attacks became clear. They were just protecting their pups this whole time. He found a piece of meat by the pile of bones and a polearm weapon. Probably belonging to a past victim of their protective parenting.

Alfonso walked back to the bar and found the security force fighting what seemed to be the last Bonedog in the area.

Meat is meat, Alfonso also concluded.

Gabe reached the bar as well and laid me in bed. Alfonso and Gabe both looked at each other in exhausted relief that for now, they were together once again.

[tumblunni]

Me in the hospital: i cannot sleep for 24 hours, the slightest noise is blaring, i am perpetually anxiety adrenaline

As soon as i get home: has the best sleep of my life

I usually take an hour to get to sleep each night but i totally just curled up like a snail and dropped into dreamland instantly. And i woke up to a nice warm house cos the heating turned on while i was asleep, and now all the anesthetic is completely worn off so i feel energized and great! And my throat pain has eased up so thankfully i wont have to be liquids only for as long as i thought. I was all hyperactive and cooked a great fancy omelette and it tastes like heaven itself! Its so weird how stuff tastes slightly diffetent when its the first time youve been able to chew with the right side of your mouth in five years. I guess the tastebuds on the sides of your tongue are slightly different? When i eat everything now im gonna be rolling it all over my mouth like WOW ITS ALL SO NEW AGAIN! Will probably look nuts in the middle of mcdonalds with my cheeks puffed like a squirrel XD

Oh and this is also a great excuse to drink loads of chocolate milkshakes from my milkshake viking mug! I feel so energized with calcium and yums!! EVERYTHING TASTES SO NEWWWWWWW

Oh man i do feel a bit sleepy again now after just being up for a few hours tho. I have these good jaw pain specific medicines i have to take for the next two weeks til my followup appointment to check if theres any infection left. But man i feel SO ALIVE AGAIN im pretty sure all the rot is gone! It feels so wild having space in my mouth and not constant clenchy tightness. It actually hurts less recovering from the surgery than it did before, lol! I can feel all my teeth moving apart again and loosening up into normality and the gums healing up all their injuries and oh god i just love how they cleaned out all the broken parts of my teeth and capped them with these great replacements that look so real you'd never be able to tell! My smile looks not ugly!! My smile looks not ugly!! Aaaaa! I just expected regaining the right side of my mouth, i didbt expect to e like "holy shit it must have hurt even more than i realized cos this feels so amazing now". Like i guess i got used to putting up with it and forgot how it felt to not have painmouth? Underestimated how good a teeth can be! And man i never asked for reconstructive cosmetic stuff too but they did these caps and aaa my teeth never looked his good even when they were new!! My front teeth were always crooked even before they did the weird balogna slam together and shattered into a pile of crap. And now they look like perfect supermodel teeth!! The only side effect is that its a lil hard to get used to the lack of gaps between them now after so long dealing with the shattered mess. My tongue keeps being like "oh no did something get stuck in the gaps again oh wait there arent any" and then i subconsciously try to clean them after taking every bite and just bite my tongue instead. Man i never noticed i picked up a bunch of weird mannerismd cos of tje bad teeth! I was constantly paranoidly checking my mouth 24/7 in case the slightest thing made it even worse, and eating super gently so that nothing accidentally touched the Wrong Tooth and set off a jolt of pain. And i actually needed to get a filling put in on the leftmost back tooth that was the ONLY TOOTH I COULD USE TO EAT WITHOUT PAIN for all this time! Overuse of it meant that it got ground down a little and probably would have become painful too if i'd left it any longer. Then i really would have been all soups all the time and that sucks!! Soups are good but nothing but then gives u stomach issues. The bad poops!!

Man sorry im rambling so much im just so hyper and happy and also still kinda dopily sleepy! Im not still delirious or anything i just feel the happy kind of sleepy where the anesthetic is all gone and its not "oh god i cant stay awake" and more natural sleepyness of a long day being over and everything being okay. I had such a good long nap and i feel well rested after getting so little sleep beforehand due to all the dumb anxiety. And i still feel dozey but happy doze~

Anyway its awesometo be able to really chug and crunch a foods! With the other side of my mouth i forgot about! And taste milkshake to its fullest extent!! Oh and whats weird is that the reconstructive surgery capping on my front teeth means that theyre kinda one tooth now? The caps are all linked in a single piece to fill the gaps fully without even the natural ones you'd have on healthy teeth. So its like a solid tooth guard just sculpted to look like three teeth. Itll be tricky to train myself out of thts subconcious rubbing the gaps with my tongue when theyre not even there. But i expect once i get over the unfamiliarity this triple cap will be really useful! Theyre totes reinforced so that even if i do get tight mouth problems again and the front teeth take the brunt of the pressure, now theres no gaps to smash into each other and become a painful mess. Its like scaffolding reinforcing my whole mouth by fixing the loadbearing beam, or something.

Oh also these pain meds make u a little bit more sleepy than normal paracetamol so i'll probably doze off again soon. But hopefully i will have slept off most of the "healing debt exhaustion" tomorrow and will be able to go walk down the shops and buy some icecream and other soft food. I mostly stocked up on purely liquid food cos i tjought my mouth function would be more limited. But honestly the teeth are working so much better than before, they were already so swollen and painful that i couldnt crunch stuff! Now the mild discomfort of mid-healing from surgery feels like barely anything and i bet i could bite thru a goddamn rock right now! I just cant really swallow crunchy stuff or stuff thats too salty or citrusy. I didnt even know about the stabbity throat pipe so i didnt expect it to be the most painful part that takes the longest to heal. It feels so weird cos i keep coughing like my brain thinks theres phelgm stuck in my throat when its actually a skin flap/blister from the insertion. So obviously that aint going anywhere and i have to try and force myself not to cough or swallow or else i set off this cjain of "must get thing out of throat must puke" reflex. And the pain feels like a sore throat but it isnt?? Its not really inflamed ot anything its just an actual friction burn on the opening of my airway. Which is not a common occurance so the brain is justvlike "what the fuck is happening, must send all contradicting signals at once!" So sore throat medicine wont work cos that goes down your throat passage to your stomach when really this lil skin tag blister thing is in the lung throat opening thing. And sucking on throat sweets made it worse cos all the muscles were really tense around the area where the tube was inserted, hence why it was hard to swallow food even tho it was my windpipe that hurt. And sucking on something is kinda like perpetually swallowing nothing, when you think about it? Im glad that the muscle tenseness is mostly gone now and the painkillers are helping with the ouch, and my brainis getting usedto not coughing and making it worse. But still should eat soft easily swallowable stuff for a lil while and it'll be fun to go aroundthe shops with my last pocketful of change and find neat ingredients to stick in omelettes. Im so excited to taste all my favourite things in new HD functional mouth power!!! And i can smile at the shopkeeper!!!

And oh man i really do think that my sleeping problems with stiff neck and that kind of 'bloodrush to the head' migraine were indeed part of the bad wisdom teeth bleeding internally under the gum. I thought it had to be that cos nothing else in my life changed around that time aside from getting a better and healthier bed which should have been beneficial to my neck. And even going back to sleepong on the floor like before didnt make a difference so it definately wasnt the bed! And it kept getting worse while nothing was changing, and i kept trying different things like changing my pillows and headphones and cutting caffeine out of my diet and eating more salt and eating less salt and fuckin ANYTHING ELSE cos i knew if it really was the dumb tooth being infected then there was nothong i could do about it til my surgery day arrived. Itd be such a relief to know for sure that it was indeed the tooth and now that nonsense is gonna be gone forever! But also thats really worrying to know that it was getting so bad it could have spread an infection to my jawbone and the top of my spine if itd been left much longer. I kept sneezing up blood lumps like the size of a fifty pence piece! Had never had nosebleeds for a decade and now suddenly all the time! God it feels so good to be able to lay my head down and not feel all woozy and tense im the forehead or neck. I really hope this good neck untenseness continues and the awful aches really were just the tooth. But everyone in the hospital was so nice that i think even if i do need a second surgery to check for jaw infection then id be able to be less nervoud than i was this time

Man do u ever get that thing where youre so peaceful and contented that like you can breathe easier? Like subconciously taking bigger breaths and the middle of your chest feels slightly puffed out and warm. I guess thats what the "heart leaping in yout chest" idiom is meant to refer to, lol! Or maybe i can just literally breathe easier cos the tooth pain might have been passing into my nasal cavity too, lol. My entire head feels so less tense!! Its like all my bones were rebelling against me and now they're at peace again!! Man i feel so giddy happy like i chugged a giant energy drink or something but its the opposite its a good sleeps drink XD

So im gonna go lie down again and have a relax and watch a movie or something and see if i pass out when the medicine kicks in, or if its not too bad and i can still continue my hyper mood. But my nap was so long that its too late to go to the shops now anyway so i'll just make more plain omelette and milkshake if i get hungry. I mean it doesnt taste plain when all my sense of taste is so amplified likethis! I dont mind if its all i can eat all week. PURE MILKSHAKEY DECADENCE

Aaaaa im just so happy!! I missed my chance to get the new. Kingdlm hearts but ive beenwaiting fkr this surgery for ages too and it feels like just as much of an exciting relief!

[thataspdfeel]

I'm curious, what are you most attracted to in your partners? Is it similar traits in all of them or different ones like their sense of humour etc.? Sorry if this is a weird question but you've said before you like when people ask about them so I thought I would.

i was so excited to get this and then forgot to answer it :/ im an idiot

also gonna put this under a cut cause this is gonna be hella long cause im a fucking romantic dork

god though i could wax poetic. they’re all so lovely. like they have traits in common but also are unique. they all have brown eyes but theyre unique. like my husband has these eyes that remind me of warm chocolate. like a chocolate fountain kind of warm chocolate. dark and smooth but reflect the light. my wife’s have tinges of gold in the irises like flecks of gold leaf. and theres a dark ring around the pupil and one around the edge of the iris. theyre fucking magical

my boyfriend’s eyes are almost black and very deep. darker than the night sky and full of warmth and mischief. but its like theyre never ending, like he can see the innermost parts of whoever he’s looking at, like your soul is written on your forehead

lmao i love eyes can you tell

they all have these goddamned sinful eyelashes and my boyfriend’s are the longest. theyre as dark as his eyes and when he’s embarrassed, he gets all shy and they brush against his cheekbones like how dare you sir. how dare you be beautiful even when youre embarrassed. i look like a fucking tomato. rude

my husband’s look gold at the tips with the way the light catches them. like yknow how fake eyelashes have purple or red at the tips? like that except gold. like what??? the fuck??? rude

they all have very soft hair though my boyfriend’s is the longest. i cant wait to get with him irl again cause i wanna braid it. he’s got a bony face and it frames it so well. it’s so dark brown its almost black and it’s fun to see him try to sweep it out of his face cause he refuses to tie it up

my husband has these wild curls. we were looking up how to take care of them and that’s how we found out hes ethnically jewish. (which makes sense considering he’s german) they get so thick and heavy and they’re so soft and lovely to nap in. which i do on a semi regular basis. its so soft and lovely and i love when he grows it out. he just doesn’t look right with shorter hair. and he has this beard that grows funny, makes him look like jedidiah if yknow what i mean. he has such a baby face without it and he loves beard scritches it’s so cute how happy he gets

bluh im bouncing all over the place i just??? love them?????? so??????????? much???????????????? there’s so much to talk about!!!

so i guess i’ll just try and make a list of the things i love about them

husband:

cheerful, bubbly, very sunny personality. the human incarnation of a very excited dog (which can be A Lot sometimes)

extremely kind. would give you the shirt off his back. often laments that he stopped carrying cash years ago every time he sees somebody who could use some despite the fact that we’re always broke

a proper southern gentleman??? like im fat so im used to people not holding doors open for me fucking ever and being really goddamned rude in general. he ALWAYS holds doors open for me, opens the car door for me both to get in and out of the car, and gets pouty if i try and carry my own bag. it’s so sweet??? ive literally never had that before and even after three and a half years, it’s still so charming

he will do literally anything the fuck i ask. he’ll say no and im like oh ok and he’ll tease like “finally! i said no! and got away with it!” just to make me giggle and then does it anyway

on this note, he also always cooks as much as absolutely possible. even though his spine gives him problems, he does his best to keep me off my leg

he’s always so concerned about my well being. like if there’s not a disability cart at the front of a store, he makes me sit down while he goes and chases one down. if im stiffer than usual due to a cold front, he’ll remind me to take pain meds every four hours

he’s trying to learn japanese because he knows i dont have anybody to practice with here in the states. just for me and not any other reason

adores animals. even if he finds a dog annoying, he’ll still fawn over it and give it as many pets as it wants and won't ever snap at it even if anybody else would. he’s got these large hands and he’s kind of clumsy but this goes away around animals. he’s just so careful and gentle like i never ever worry

drags me out of my introverted cave because he knows social interaction is also good

has introduced me to some of my favorite books and video games because he’s verious conscious about what somebody likes and works to be like “hey, i think youd like this” and is almost always correct??? amazing

has 0 sense of style but doesnt mind somebody who knows better keeping him from absolute disaster

dude is a damned good cook. ive gained like at least a solid 25 pounds since he moved in and started cooking regularly

SPEAKING OF COOKING, we met on the tail end of my anorexia when i was doing my best to recover and still slipping up. he never made me feel bad about it but always encouraged me to eat. he eats SO much (think shaggy rogers) that i always felt comfortable eating in front of him. he always reminds me to eat and asks if ive eaten that day. honestly, i wouldnt be at this level of recovery if it hadnt been for him

is amazing at caling me down holy fuck

wife:

met her first, of the three of them, ironically so ive known her the longest but been with her the shortest. we dated a few months in hs but there was a chick she wanted to date like right there (and i was in japan) so i was like oh go for it. well, they broke up and we got back together and it’s been lovely ever since

she has this snorting laugh that’s adorable to listen to and it makes me feel more comfortable laughing (because i think i sound like a damn goose)

SHE HAS SO MANY GODDAMNED FRECKLES ON HER CUTE LITTLE FACE THEY’RE ADORABLE AND AMAZING AND VERY FUN TO KISS BECAUSE SHE SQUIRMS

she has a goddamned button nose for chrissakes

and these really wide hips too like i felt bad about my hips years ago cause theyre p wide but shes adorable and has wide hips too. she kinda made me love them (even though hers are better)

she’s genderfluid so i get to be gay all across the gender spectrum (im agender) and she’s so beautiful and handsome and v amazing

we were both homestuck fans at the height of it (like we still are) but her cosplays are just really well done??? shes so talented

OH MY GOD SHE MAKES THIE CHICKEN SOUP WITH HOMEMADE NOODLES I WOULD SLAP AN OLD LADY FOR

i dont know about the rest of her cooking (sadly) due to limited time around each other but i cant fucking wait tbh. her cookies kill me tho i love them

an amazing fashion sense. im a dumpster compared to her

an amazing writer and artist and i die every time she sends me something like my soul fucking ascends

she loved me BEFORE meds which i think is amazing. like what a lovely human being yknow? im a dick without meds and she loved me anyway and i love that about her

she speaks german and she makes it sound beautiful and i cry

her singing voice is so angelic and it kills me when she sings because everybody should hear this lovely person sing

she is hyper empathetic and it makes her so lovely and kind and wonderful. she completely understands how i feel about things and why even when no one else does and is very good at de-escalating me when im upset

we’ve just known each other for something like 7 years now? like i dated her post my abusive ex and she lit up my whole world with happiness at being treated well. then her ex was abusive and just... we get each other? in a way where her husband and my other two partners dont. its a pain the others dont understand so we go to each other during these times of pain in a way we cant with other people. it’s a very special connection

she’s a goddamned goof and i love it

my boyfriend:

motherfucker is so skinny which is the opposite of me and for some reason it works?? idk like it worries me but it’s also unique. love it

we dated almost my whole senior year of hs but he broke up with me because he thought he didnt have the same depth of emotion as i did for him and didnt want to “hold me back” from somebody better. like??? can you imagine?????? how fucking kind

recently started dating again like it took him fourish years for him to realize SHIT I MADE A MISTAKE so he’s a little slow but he’s so very thoughtful

he’s a goof in a different way than the other two. dad jokes. never ending fucking dad jokes. and goddamned puns. he never stops. dont tell him i love them because then he’ll never let me tease him again (i pretend like its The Worst)

so. fucking. dramatic. always flips his hair in the sassiest way possible. its super gay (he’s bi)

he doesnt do a whole lot of romance or saying WHY he feels certain ways. he feels like it cheapens the emotion. but, on the rare occassion he doesnt let this bother him, his poetry he sends me about how he feels makes me fucking cry. it’s so beautiful. i love it

he works watering at a plant nursery and complains about how the bees always use him as a landing strip. it’s adorable

he’s so resourceful?? this is best seen when playing minecraft cause he makes some damn cool structures in some really nice places. i love playing it with him just to see what he builds and how (especially since im a boring, lets make this house a square kinda ho)

he’s so camera shy??? no selfies no skype at all. he’s so bashful and it’s super cute i love it

got me into DnD like yes thank you for this enjoyable nerdery

the sole reason i passed math in hs. like not only is he smart but hes also really good at explaining things to people? definitely a talent for teaching people things

he was my best friend for the longest time like all three of them are my best friend but he was the only one who was my best friend FIRST and then romance blossomed

like im demiromantic so i need a strong connection to fall in love like it was a solid few months of dating my husband before i began to love him. i knew my wife for awhile and got close so same general story. but my boyfriend and i were more friends to lovers and i love that about him

his dad is half italian so he talks with his hands and it’s so overdramatic that he hits people with them on a semi regular basis just gesturing. he once accidentally knocked my glasses all the way across a room cause i had walked behind him and he made a sweeping gesture. hilarious

one time, i had food poisoning and the pain was so bad, i had to crawl under his kitchen table until my mother came to take me to the base clinic. he sat with my head in his lap and brushed my hair out of my face and cooed gently at me to try and soothe me. it was so sweet and ive never forgotten about it

motherfucker, with the help of my sister, dragged me into homestuck

he’s so damn shy about affection that holdling his hand in public makes him blush. it’s even worse if i steal a kiss. fucking adorable

things all three have in common that i love:

good in bed. it sounds silly but this is important to me because while i dont necessarily need sex to form a close relationship to fall in love, it definitely helps

idk how this happened, i really dont, but somehow everything i like lines up nicely with everything they like??? and if im not into something, they can find it with each other and vise versa. lmao wtf how did this happen to line up idk

kind, generous, sweet, and helpful although all three show these qualities in different ways despite having them in common

love me??? like honestly it sounds so silly that id love that they love me but im such a flawed, terrible human being that it leaves me in deep awe that not only does one person love me but three??? how??? amazing people to find something in me to love and to keep on loving despite all my problems. beautiful

creative, smart, and inventive each in their own right. they fucking astound me and take my breath away

beautiful cuddlers (not being sarcastic, promise)

husband is a goddamned heater but boyfriend is a living block of ice. then wife is one of those who’s in between but she steals your heat and then hours later gives it back which is the worse option of the three. like it starts out all nice but then you end up surprised hours later because youre fucking dying of heatstroke

so we have two heatstroke, drowning in sweat options and then losing your limbs. it makes trying to set the thermostat a fucking nightmare

they all love to read and honestly? i couldnt be with anyone who doesnt like a good book

can hold lively, in depth discussions about things

hubby tends to lean more towards “would it be immoral to fuck a succubus” type morality questions and superhero dissection type things

wife is all over the place and can carry on a conversation about goddamned teapots if she so chose. no idea how she does it

boyfriend likes to entertain more morbid thoughts and psychology but also likes to analyze things. like homestuck. we still fucking dissect homestuck

very intelligent. blows my dumb ass out of the water. beautiful

like gaming various amounts and various kinds of games. hubs likes any and all. boyfriend likes dnd, monster hunter, minecraft etc kinds of things, not really one for cards or board games. wife prefers to craft but will occasionally engage in board games or cards, less so in video games but tends to stick to pokemon. it’s nice

they’re all very physically beautiful though in different ways. hubby is barrel chested and german with very strong arms and big hands, a bright and sunny smile. wife is small and round with tiny, artist hands and a sweet, pixie face. boyfriend is thin, long, and gaunt with pale skin and dark hair (kind of like damien from dream daddy tbh)

i could go on but ive been making this post for like well over two hours now and i figured maybe i should stop. it’s long as hell and idk if anybody else would have read this whole thing but basically i fucking adore my partners??? so much??? and there are so many things about them to love???

i just love them so much and could go on and on for hours about why i love each of them and how lovely they are and how they make me feel

ksdjrfgh im so sorry this is so long theres just so much to talk about //sweats

[itsjamiemarie]

My life

Hey lovelies I hope you've all been doing well, I feel like I haven't sat down and wrote a blog post just talking about what's going on in my life for a while, well since my first blog post, so I thought Id just let you guys in on what's happening in my life.

So the first thing I'm so excited about right now is that after over a year of saying it to myself (yes it was actually over a year) I've finally plucked up enough courage to start my own YouTube Channel, at the moment I've posted four videos and am planning of filming a few more tomorrow. I have wanted to start YouTube videos for the longest time, but I always came up with an excuse, whether it be because people are not going to like my videos, my family and friends aren't going to get it, or as simple as, I don't have a camera. But recently I've kinda just been like you know what, this is what I want to do, this is what makes me happy, so I’m going to go for it end of story. I'm loving it so far, my video quality and editing skills aren't the best I will admit, but I’m still learning and this is what makes me happy, and everyone's deserves to focus on the things that make them happy.

Going onto my health and fitness, I have started lifting weights now, whereas I would usually stick to cardio. I'm really enjoying it, I started about a month ago and I can already feel myself getting stronger and feeling better about myself, I'm excited to continue and see where it takes me. Now, onto eating, I've actually started home cooking everything and its honestly the best decision ever, first off I find it so much fun and second its great experience for when I'm older. I've really gotten into healthy cooking just lately and there's so many different recipes about, I always have something different to choose from (I'm currently planning some recipes to share with you guys). If you haven't tried a wide range of home cooking before, you should defiantly give it a try, when I first started I wasn't the best, but I've gotten better and there's always room for improvement and I don't know if it’s just me, but home cooked meals taste so much better.

As of now, I've got some exciting things happening in my life, my aunts visiting from Australia for two weeks, I haven't seen her in 5 years, so its going to be so nice to have a good catch up and spend some well needed to with family. Also as I type this, my cousin is in the hospital hopefully having a baby in the next few days, I cant wait to meet my new little baby cousin. Oh and I've also found out my cats pregnant, we think she's due in November time, so I'm going to have kittens roaming around the house, which I'm looking forward too.

I've defiantly had some bad days these past few weeks, some days I have no motivation to get out of bed let alone carry on with my day to day life. To be completely honest I've felt quite alone, which is probably the worst feeling ever. But after a bad day I always make sure to pick myself up after and carry on focusing on the hobbies and people that make me happy, because if you focus on them, you will be okayy.

I had no intention of this being a little update of what's going on in my world, but I started writing and it just sort of came naturally and it feels good to let you lovelies know what's going on in my life. If you have anything exciting happening in your life or you need advice or just someone to talk too, never hesitate to contact me. Id love to know how your lives are going and try my best to help in any way I can. Love you

 Jamie Xx 

[dustaebunny]

19 years before

Jimin felt the heat from the sun burning his arms as he watched red drip from his mother’s face. This happened every time it got too hot, when they played for too long, when it was too cold, when he did not want to eat his vegetables... it seemed that lots of things caused the pretty crimson liquid to trickle from her face.

17 years before – allude more about quiet time, being fatigued and sickness

He laid his head on his mother’s lap. She was calmer today- no blood flowing from her nose yet. The calmness of the afternoon seemed to settle in and

“There are ships in the desert?” Jimin questioned his mother’s story. If he remembered right, in school they were taught that deserts had no water- and ships and boats. Those things live on the water. He frowned, “I thought ships live on the sea?”

Looking curiously up at his mother, she smiled down and replied, “Well yes, but there is a magical place on earth where there are gigantic ships on the in the middle of the desert!”

“Gigantic?” Jimin questioned again, lifting his head from her lap. His mommy continued to stroke his hair.

“Gigantic means huge, so big! Bigger than our house! Bigger than Grandma’s apartment! And it was all the way out there in an empty desert.”

“And you went there?”

“Yes, and on this trip I had met the most handsome prince with the help of a wizard.”

“Do you think that maybe there is a princess out there too?”

“Well Jiminie, maybe when youre older, we can go to this desert and see if your princess is out there also” /// maybe do something like when you grow old you’ll meet your princess too / we will search for her together

16 years before

Jimin is wearing the most uncomfortable suit. It is itchy and constricting, and hot. He is forced to stay still next to his father, but all he wants to do is wake his mom up. His auntie had told him earlier that she is going through a deep sleep and that she will be sleeping for a long time, so he needs to keep still and quiet.

His father is wearing black clothes too and has dark sunglasses on his face. He reaches out and clutches onto his father’s warm rough hands. He doesn’t understand why everyone is so sad. He just saw his mommy a few minutes ago, and she looked the most beautiful surrounded by all those flowers. She was so pretty. A long sleep sounds good for his mommy. She had been so tired lately. He had to always be a good boy and keep quiet. He needed to be the one to cook rice , to clean up after himself and his dad, to put away his fathers shoes. Jimin swore he was a good boy all the time, never once complained, never upset or sad. Always quiet and good, like his mother asked.  But all Jimin wanted to do was be loud, to play outside with his friends, with his mom, to lay in their back yard again under the big oak tree. // something about doing chores

There was always quiet time when he was home- when mommy needed her nap, he would too nap with her after completing his homework. Jimin is sad he cannot lay with his mother now, lay with her amongst the flowers. But he will stay quiet, like his auntie said. So his mommy can rest fully, and hopefully when she wakes up- she can help him with his homework.

14 years before

Jimin is in a black itchy suit again. This time it isn’t to say goodbye to another parent. No- now he is getting a new one. Her name is Sooyoung but he can call her mommy. That feels weird to say, he already had a mommy but shes in heaven now. And this new one, she has a little girl that is younger than him. He has a sibling now. It was just him for the longest time. Dad said he needs to learn how to share now, and that he needs to protect his baby sister. Her name is Dara. Dara is just 2 years younger than him. Dara looks up at jimin and holds out her hand. Jimin is shy but takes it. Maybe staying at home now wouldn't be so lonely anymore. Maybe his dad will be home more often and happy.

 8 years before

“This is so stupid. I cant believe he’s making me sign up for ballet” Jimin complains as he tosses his gear on the table in the cafeteria with his teammates, all hollering and laughing at the scowl on his face.

“Seriously man, just tell the coach you signed up and don’t go” The boy at the end of the table shrugged. Jimin cocked his head to the side to study the kid. Kim Taehyung, tall, fast, wide receiver on the team. He had no issues with his agility. Jimin was short and stocky, the idea of being able to skip, jump and be quick dreaded him. He was strong, stable, secure.

Another boy across from him shook his head. “Dude, just go to your fucking ballet tutu class.” The team captain said dismissively, “Coach ordered it, he knows what hes fucking talking about. Youre practically a tree stump on the field.”

The table erupts in laughter again at his comment. Jimin groaned, squeezing his eyes shut and tossing his head back. “Fuck fine, but if anyone else gets the dancers prescription from coach, I don’t want to hear you bitching”. He grabbed his gear bag and stormed out of the room. If he wasn’t going to get the show of support from his teammates, for sure he’ll get it at home. His father wouldn’t let his only son sign up for dance classes with Dara. Wouldn’t he?

When Jimin gets home that night to complain to his family, his step mother happily signs him up for the same Jazz class Dara is in and his father is quick to support anything that will help him further his possible football career.

Should we introduce the dancing bit as him complaining to his parents? Or should it be with the other team mates?

Or should it be his inner monologue?

Coach claims Im too stiff, that there is no agility?

2 a days for football practice ontop of attending ballet?

 "So coach told me that I should sign up for dance or ballet lessons." Jimin peeked up and looked at his father from across the table.

 "He asked you to take dance lessons on top of your 2 s days practice?" His step mother questions, Sooyoung was a lovely woman, the soft slope of her nose scrunching at the thought of jimin having such a busy and tight schedule over the summer.

 "Well what did the coach say? Did he mention why you needed the classes?" His father peers at Jimin, face stern and hard," You should listen to him, aim to do good, football can do wonders for your future, get you into a good college, maybe even a few scholarships."

 "HA! Jimin is gonna take dance lessons like a girrrl" Dara teases,

 no no  she would be upset

 "Ew no mom! come on I don't want him taking classes with me! its bad enough Ara and Tina have like the biggest crush on my stepbrother! And I already see him enough at home!" Dara groans.

 "Well the coach said I was a little stiff on the field, he told me that ballet is supposed to help with Agility or something I guess.." Jimin stares down at his plate and pushes his food around with a fork. He can see it now, his father, mentioning the scholarships, the money, the opportunity. There was no way he was going to get out of this, he was going to go to dance lessons whether he liked it or not. "Please dad I really don't-"

 "What is Kim taehyung doing? Isnt he on the team with you?"

 "yeah but hes a wide receiver he doesn't have the same position as I do, and- I mean I guess his reaction time is better than-"

 "ah so you really do need these lessons then? You are part of a team Jimin, whether you like it or not, and you need to pick up the slack and be one with the team. They cant have you falling behind. You need to do whatever you can to help further the group. You need to be looking at the long game, you need to not only look at where you can improve now, but how you can help bring your team to nationals, to be scouted, hell maybe even play on that national level"

 "Arent you dreaming a little too big dad?"

 "You don't get it son, I may be just a lowly accountant but I see what these guys earn. What sort of life they lead, I want you to do better than me, I want you to be more than just comfortable."

 His stepmother shifts in her seat. "I'll sign you up for jazz with Dara, atleast that way we aren't wasting gas running around town for your guy's extra curriculars"

 Jimins father leans in and kisses Sooyoung softly. Ofcourse Jimin thought, his father was going to let him suffer through any sort of humilation, anything to further his 'football career'.

 4 years before

//describe house party- maybe?

“You’re a great dancer!”

Jimin learns that dancing is a trait that girls- no women like. Dancing with a girl at a party. He learns that she goes to college, shes sophisticated, shes soft, and pretty and her perfume smells nice. There is an intoxicating way about her and it isn’t just the 6 beers that him and his teammates chugged earlier. The way she smiles up at him- its like she has(or knows) a secret. She closes her eyes and leans her head back. Sweat is trickling down her neck, and Jimin eyes the drop that slides down toward the center of her breasts. Her face is flush and he swears he has never seen the color pink be so pretty. She turns around presses her back to him and grinds on him, really digging into the erection in his pants. He almost freezes in the middle of the dance floor. She probably felt it right? She must know he is hard right? There is no way she could not know.

She quickly turns around to face him again. And Jimin braces for it, this is when she tells him off, tells him to quit being such a pervert, tells him to-

“Hey lets go upstairs” She leans in and whispers in his ear, Jimins throat is suddenly dry. She searches his face again and smirks, “Come on big boy, there’s no need to be shy.” She is quick to grab his hand, to drag him through the crowd and to guide him to a room upstairs.

 //maybe cut- better to allude to a good time?

She is quick with her hands. Jimin can hardly think straight, hes too worried that he will come off as lame, too nervous that she will see right through him, see him as some little boy, see him as a naïve stupid little virgin, totally reject him out right when she finds out that he doesn't know how to hold a woman, how to feel a woman, how to make her cum. Shes going to leave him in this dark room alone, with his pants around his ankles because hes an idiot. An idiot who can bring a woman to orgasm, who cant make her feel.

Jimin's belt is undone and she shoves his pants down to his ankles. She drops down to her knees and smiles up at him. His dick is hard and tenting his boxer. Aching for relief, aching for release, she presses a kiss to his base and he never blushed so hard. The contact making him shiver.

"Don't worry" she whispers to him, "I know how to make you feel good." Jimin isn't sure whether shes talking to him or his cock. Jimin leans his head back and stares at the ceiling. The fan is whirling so hard it causes the chain to whip back and forth. He's doing everything in his power not to cum, doing everything in his power not to ejaculate all over his boxers and her pretty face. He feels her scratch his lower belly as she reaches in his underwear and pulls him out. Her grip where she is touching is hot and electrifying  

 3 years ago //revisit

Black, dressed in black again. Except this time it is to graduate. He was scouted and it going to play football for his mothers alma matter. He loves his step mom and his baby sister, but feels bittersweet and wonders what it would be like if his own mother is here. His father is proud- but holds Jimin at a distance.

Make a point where someone asks where hes going to school, and he mentions his moms alma mater- or some parent does. Father stiffens at comment.  Step mom is understanding and notes that it is a terrific school.

 Jimin grabs his diploma from his headmaster's hands. Finally hes graduating highschool, finally hes going to be going into the real world, finally hes going somewhere to play football, where he is appreciated for the sport. Away from his family, his annoying little sister, his distant father and his stepmother.

 One of the chicks on the girls soccer team stops by Jimin and his friends. They take pictures.

 "Hey Jimin where did you end up deciding on?" Taehyung's father asked Jimin whilst staring at his parents, why direct the question to him if hes going to be wanting to talk to his parents instead?

 "Well I ended up choosing Seoul National U my mom’s alma mater. I am going to be playing for them" ..

 "Ah the (whatever animal)"

 Jimin stares at his father, watching for his reaction. He wondered how he truly felt about him attending his mothers old school instead of going abroad like he had. He wondered if he always had resented him for trying to reach back to his dead mother, for trying to always find a connection to her. It was probably why he was so insistent on joining sports, why he was so adamant about him playing football, a sport that was not entirely as popular as it is in America. Jimin wondered if his father wished he were more like him and less like his mother, is that why he was so distant? or so off and the mere mention of her name? He used to question about her and her life when he was child, but was always brushed off, "Jimin you have a new mother now, you have a younger sister, you need to think about this family now, you need to help her with the yard. Take care of your younger sister, please go over her homework" It was as if he was trying to erase her from his memory and insert a new one. And when that didn't work, when jimin wouldn't stop pestering, stop digging, stop asking he just decided to ignore it forever, always silent on the issue.

 Kim taehyung finally rounds the corner and crashes into their group, "Cmon Jimin lets go! We gotta show this school who theyre going to be missing-" Grabs Jimin by the collar.

 1 year before

 // option 1 10:49 the red neon numbers blinked up on the wall behind the class. Dr. Kim was making his way around the classroom, talking with different students. Jimin already packed and ready to go

 // option 2 3 hours – Jimin reminded himself. He has 3 hours before practice, enough to get a good nap before the punishing drills his coach might have for him today. He was quickly packing his notebooks and things away while Dr. Kim- his literature teacher droned on, “And please I should not have to remind you, but read the chapters before the next class for discussion. Remember participation is 15 percent of your grade!”

 // option 3 Dr Kim approached Jimin at his desk

 // option 4 A shadow fell over Jimin while he was packing away his things at his desk. He slowly looked up to the person who approached him. Dr Kim his literature teacher.

 Packing up after Creative writing class.. Professor Kim is ending the class.. maybe start this with dialogue? Depending on how you start the others. Maybe Professor kim sends an email to him instead requesting that he come to his office to discuss his work or his grades. I know Football is important to you, hell it is way too important to this school, but have you thought about what life will be like out of college? I knew your mother back in the day- she had an affinity for writing too, I actually see a lot of her voice in you. You have the same writing style.

Suddenly Jimin starts to feel closer to his mother

 Professor shows him his mothers works

When she was pregnant with you she wanted to start a childrens book

Professor and friends was at the funeral service too and saw him

It is halfway through the semester – sorry for talking to you so late, but he was looking for his mothers things- is a hoarder took a while

 //option 5 Dr. Kim looks up from his desk  -- no describe office first? Papers haphazardly strewn around

Jimin steps inside of the cramped room that is Dr Kim’s office. Bookcases filled to the brim with figurines, binders and books adorn the wall. Sort of encasing Dr Kim in a box of literature. Dr Kim glances up from his desk startled. His dark almond eyes widening at his intrusion. As if suddenly remembering as to why he came Dr Kim stood up, “Ah Jimin, you got my email? I didn’t think you would have come so soon.”

 Jimin glances around(not feeling this at all – maybe just go straight to dialogue and forget describing the office?) “Sir, is there a reason as to why you emailed me? I wasn’t to sure- I have been attending all of my classes? Did you not like one of my assignments…?”

 “Oh no no no, please let me explain – first sit sit” gesturing to one of the chairs in front of his desk.

 “Park Jimin, Can I speak with you in my office? I want to talk to you about your work”

“Am I in trouble? Did I miss the assignment, or…?” (been attending classes, isn’t sure as to why he is being singeled out, maybe mention that he actually like this class)

 “Oh, don’t worry, its nothing of the sort- I just have a couple of things I would like you to see or actually I would like to give to you. Follow me”

 Heads to office- bit of a mess.

 “Sorry I am a bit unorganized here. Take a seat, let me find your mothers papers”

“My mothers papers? You have my mothers old homework?/You were my mothers teacher too?”

“Not her old homework, but her old manuscripts, your mother and I were classmates back during our grad school days. She was just starting her masters while she was still dating your father”

“I didn’t know that”

“Yeah, your mother was quite the writer- I see a lot of her voice / similarities in you too. Sorry it took me so long to find these drafts. At first I was too sure if you were Sara’s son- we met before you know? At the funeral, you were probably too young to remember. And I didn’t want to just spring on you that I knew your mother, I knew I had her old drafts somewhere… sort of a perk that I am a hoarder huh? I just knew I wanted to approach you when I had finally found them”

“I knew my mother graduated with a degree in literature, I didn’t know she had plans for a book.”

“Yeah your mother I believe also wanted to start a childrens series- I think that was around the time she found out she was pregnant with you.”

“Thanks, I’ll read over them. I just- thank you really.”

“Have you read her diaries by chance? I know she pretty much documented almost everyday of her life.// OR You must have already read through her diaries, I know this isn’t much add to it, but I thought that you should have it”

“No I haven’t really found anything of my mothers after her passing.”

“Youre on the football team aren’t you?”

“yeah im **whatever position**”

“Are you looking to go professional?”

“No, honestly its just a way for me to pay for school.”

“Well have you thought about what you wanted to do when school is over? Honestly I think you could really look into possibly writing as a career.”

“Oh, I don’t know- I’m not really well read, and this was just-“

“Just think about it, I am sure whatever you choose to do, your mother would have been proud. Honestly you just coming here would’ve made her ecstatic”

“Thank you sir, really this means a lot to me.”

“Outside the classroom you can call me Namjoon, jimin.

“Thanks Mr.Namjoon

 6 months before

Jimin decides to go for a creative writing minor, and starts talking with his grandparents??? I want a little snip of something before he has to head home to help the family pack up.. 6 months is probably around Christmas time too right?

 “… I got the promotion at work, so we will be moving into the city in the next couple of months..”

“Months why is that so far away?

I need to hire and train my replacement; they don’t want me leaving until everything is in order.

 We’ll be moving to the city, so Jimin if you want instead of paying/staying at the dorm- you can stay at home. It’ll be easier on your bills since you wont be resigning the scholarship contract?// make him more disappointed – but acknowledging

 Jimin wouldn’t you want your own space though? Since you have been living on your own for the past few years- you know with privacy and all? Especially for girls?

 Pfft as if! The only girl I bet he brings around to his stinky apartment his Jill!

 Jill?

 Yeah his right hand!

 Dara!

 What its true! My older stepbrother- when did you become such a loser?

 Shut up Dara, at least I don’t actually screw around with dweebs like Jungkook

 He isn’t a dweeb ok!

 He should get a real job, playing video games for a living is lame

 Oh you’re just jealous! And video gaming is considered a sport now, a Neanderthal like you wouldn’t understand.

 Rolls his eyes, Yes because using a keyboard and mouse requires a lot of skill

 You shut up! You-

 OK OK you two. Settle down,

 But mom!// more snarkier conversation- probably redo the whole teasing/argument, but mostly centering on Jimin not getting laid

 Jimin so you’ll stay with us for your final year?

 Yeah I guess so, It beats having to find a roommate for an apartment, or staying in the dorms again.

 Good, because we will need a hand with the move. We’ve accumulated way too much stuff over the years.

 Mostly Jimins participation trophies -snickers-

 OR family holiday scene

1 week before

His father gets the promotion and they are going to be moving to the city, closer to Jimin. Jimin helps them pack up the household for the movers.

 Gripping the wheel of his car, Jimin is halfway through the drive home-

“Are you sure there isn’t anything you needed me to bring? Like extra boxes or tape?”

 He hears his stepmother sigh, “No, no thank you Jimin. We’re going to first clear out the house and try to sort through the junk. I don’t want to accidently pack up trash and ship it to Seoul.”

“Ok mom, what about dinner? I can stop by some place and pick something up?”

 “Ah well actually, Dara is cooking for us tonight.”

 “Dara? Are you sure?”

 His stepmother laughs, “Yeah, she’s found these videos online and really has gotten good at it, the Park household has been eating gourmet for the past couple of months.”

 “Wow I can hardly believe it.”

 “I think it might have to do with that boy shes been seeing” She whispers.

 “Do you want me to interrogate her, find out?”

 “Oh no no, its fine- so long as we can reap the benefits. Just hurry home and drive safe. Love you.”

 “Love you too”

3 days before

Step mother asks that he start working on the attic, and that he should sort it out into piles. Mentions something about the step mom going through a marie kondo phase. And also mention tid bits about if you do not feel joy, throw it out.

Make mention of all of his trophies, mostly participation or attendance. Younger sister throws some shade about that, nice sibling banter.

 Coughing out the dust in his lungs. Jimin makes his way downstairs from the basement lugging a box of trashable momentos.

“You clearing out all of your participation trophies?” Dara snickers.

“No, just all of your attendance certificates,”

Scoffs whatever.

Jimin places the box in the throw away pile his stepmother had set up in the living room. Jimin trudges his way back up the stairs into the attic. Boxes stacked high in the tight dusty space. Forgotten dreams, old achievements, lack luster memories seemed to clog the space. A time capsule for an era he has little to no memory of. Jimin dusts off a box labeled photos, Flips through images of his mother and finds them of his father, finds them with him, also finds images with Dr Kim Namjoon and others. These images she is seen carrying a notebook / diary. Jimin wonders if he will find them like Dr Kim Namjoon has suggested.

1 Day before

Jimin finds the box of his mom’s notebooks and diaries. He is first amazed at findng such a treasure, then is conflicted if he should read it.

 Jimin places the boxes of his mothers diaries in his room. He picks up one and flips through it. Decides against reading it and lays back against his childhood bed. Goes through the throws of whether he should read it or not. Decides ultimately to sleep on it. But decides to keep the books.

 Jimin heads back upstairs into the attic to clear out more junk.

Day of

 After finally clearing the attic, Jimin decides to start on his room. He glances back at the box of notebooks and decides to take a break and read through them. Hes curious about his mother and wonder who she really was. He feels the spine and finds the one he recognizes from on of the photos. He picks it up and thumbs through it. Different passages of  her travels. (maybe add excerpts?)

Jimin finds the notebook of his moms travels when she was in college, and it was during a study abroad English program- she went to some school in Texas where she met his father. Talks about the desert and the ships in the desert. Triggers the memory of when he was a child.

   Or scrap – father for sure went to school in the states. But maybe mother just went there for vacation

 4 days after

Jimin is in the car and makes the resolve to go through with the plan of following his moms foot steps

[mindovermilitante]

Morning Ritual Day 2

Good-morning All, 

Before we start today I am going to go ahead and try to make this blog post as correct and grammatically error free as possible. However seeing as I struggled to spell “good-morning” im sure this will still probably be crap English. Sorry once again but I must continue on. Ive been thinking a little about this blogs format and how often I will be updating my “journey” and although I do want to make the commitment to post every day, i do want to try and post multiple days if the occasion does arise. I see this blog as a potential escape or a funnel of some sorts to really expel what im feeling at the moment. I guess if you're reading this or if im reading this in the future you can be the audience looking into my life. Potentially acting not only as an audience member but even someone to vent to, preach to, or even gain understanding from. Lastly i want to preface by sayin that i want these to be public knowledge. I think hiding all of these emotions and feelings in my life for what seemed like forever wasn't quite different from when its put in a private folder in my computer. But alas i digress and so begins the blog post for day 2 of my journey into getting my life back...

This morning I awoke with an uneasy feeling both in my mind and my stomach. the day was about to start and so was my journey into “whatever it would lead me to”. As I stretched around and hugged my girlfriend as she made her way into the shower I began to structure my day based on what needed to be done.

“okay nathan you're going on your morning walk. keep it light, but maybe add some distance. when you get back lets make some breakfast. Possibly two eggs with spinach some avocados and blue berries. Ya thats sounds great for the beginning meal for the day. Oh also remember to grab some snacks for the day to keep you going until lunch.”  

At this point my girlfriend had already left for work and i was left alone in the room. Now at this point it really is a decision for me to get up or hit that snooze button 5 times. Not going to lie i hit it one time but got up as soon as the second alarm hit. I put on some nice sweat pants and a comfy sweatshirt, filled up my hydro flask with cold water, and put on a video of Tony Robbins. I believe todays topic talked about “understanding what you want in your life”. If you havent heard about Tony i highly recommend listening to a couple of his seminars because they are incredibly worth the the listen. And so i was off on my walk from this point on. 

Now back in my hard running days i usually had a solid route i would take that i was fairly used to. Something that I could constantly improve on and soemthing that to me could be constant. But in a quite opposite fashion I went the other way hoping for at least an ounce of change in my life. I should probably preface by saying that I live in a place where we do have four seasons (kinda) and fall was the season just starting. The cold weather on my skin, and the smell of morning dew helped me focus on the walk at hand. As I was walking ahead i focused on the seminar i was listening to through my headphones. I cant remember to much about what was said but the main points i got from it were building a tradition or somewhat of a habit to better ones life. 

And that hit me. I think for the longest time i had been developing these wrong habits and ultimately was steering myself into the ground.

Hitting snooze on the alarms to bypass my runs 

Going out to eat when I could cook at home 

Finding time to relax and letting things play out 

Eating unhealthy and not portioning meals 

skipping meals all together 

brushing off new adventures just because they cant fit in my schedule 

I think its one thing to say we have a bat habit, but to have a plethora of bad habits can ultimately lead us down a road of failure. But what about the good habits? I think ever since we are little we a programmed to think of habits as bad things? Well why does it have to be a bad things. Why cant a habit be a good thing. something you're absolutely fixated on and potentially obsessed with can make you a better person in the end. I think so habits need to be looked upon more.So on my walk i developed some habits that i need to start following. They are as listed 

Wake up early to walk( run in the future until Blood pressure is situated). Walk for even30 minutes. Figure out a new route every time or maybe increase the distance you walk 

Start eating healthier and practice proper portion control. Incorporate a wide variety of vegetable. Dont be afraid to skimp out on the red meat and go for the vegetarian meal. 

Drink water and dont stop drinking water. Add a couple lemons or other fruits to it to add somewhat of a flavor profile. 

Talk to your girlfriend, friends, and family more about whats going on in their lives and my life as well. Friendships are built on conversations and it starts wit opening up to them about how you are doing. 

Start understanding things come as they must. Life is filled with ups and downs. Understanding how to enjoy them is the goal. Trying to understand why something happens will get you now where in life. 

Meditate. Even for 15 minutes. Practice on your breathing and understand that you are in control of how you breath and the stress you put on your body. Clear all thoughts in your mind and understand that your body needs to take a break. 

Habits define who we are and can lead the bridges to how our goals are accomplished. Before I knew it i had already walked a fair distance away from my house. I had absolutely no clue where I was. But yet I found myself at ease. As i began my walk back to my home i stopped and looked around. Ive been doing this thing lately where I will focus on three things. For todays list it was a school, a corner house, and some school kids playing around. I dont know why I focused myself on these things but it happened. As i continued on i felt myself feeling something i had not felt in awhile. 

A high of some sorts. The type of high you would only get after a hard run. Had a really gotten myself to the point where a walk would give me that feeling. Or maybe it was because my body had thanked me for getting out of the house. 

“Maybe im on to something” 

I say this to myself feeling great, but slowly the anxiety comes back. I know im on to something but in time it will tell fi that something works out. Until then im here for it.

As i prepared my breakfast the idea of going back to work kept coming up. What would it be like to be back in the clinic. would it be the same. would I like it again after all of this. Case in point... I dont know if I will but I have to make a change. not necessarily a change in occupation but a change in “habit”. A habit to do good agin to understand that im changing the loves of everyone around me and those people I do meet in the medical field. Thinking about all that made me realize i love what i do. But what i need to do is different from cutting out the thing i do already and changing them. Wow that was a little strange to type but okay. haha. 

As i finished my breakfast headed into the shower i took my blood pressure. For me blood pressure can be read as the force  being imprinted on your arterial wall and heart walls. This pressure reading can be an indicator for a lot of things; stress, diabetes, hyper tensions, heart failure. The list goes on and on. Currently based on medical standards a normal reading should be under 120/80. This implies the heart and arteries are working at its normal functions. When I checked into the doctors my blood pressure reading was around 140/90. Yesterday my blood pressure reading was 136/ 85. This morning at 820am 

117/82

Now i thought to myself this cant be right? how can it lower so drastically over night. Im sure its due to my heart resting after a work out or the drastic food diet i have been eating. But I do think in part, its because of stress. Managing my stress is a main part of me getting back to my old self. Now do i believe that its fixed... oh god no... its going to be a long journey. But until that day comes.

Im going to be okay...

Thank you for listening :) 

[spookyjenn]

1-85

1. Are looks important in a relationship? No, but they're a plus.

2. Are relationships ever worth it? Sometimes yes.

3. Are you a virgin? No

4. Are you in a relationship? No

5. Are you in love? nope

6. Are you single this year? now i am

7. Can you commit to one person? no

8. Describe your crush British and Famous. 

9. Describe your perfect mate Funny and trustworthy. 

10. Do you believe in love at first sight? oh yes.

11. Do you ever want to get married? eventually.

12. Do you forgive betrayal? no. 

13. Do you get jealous easily? yes

14. Do you have a crush on anyone? yes.

15. Do you have any piercings? no

16. Do you have any tattoos? not yet.

17. Do you like kissing in public? yes as long as its appropriate 

20. Do you shower every day? omg yes

21. Do you think someone has feelings for you? HAAH no

22. Do you think someone is thinking about you right now? doubt it. 

23. Do you think you can last in a relationship for 6 months and not cheat? somehow i achieved it or well depends on who you ask

24. Do you think you’ll be married in 5 years? no.

25. Do you want to be in a relationship this year? not really.

26. Has anyone told you they don’t want to ever lose you? maybe? idk.

27. Has someone ever written a song or poem for you? i wish

28. Have you ever been cheated on? oh yeah

29. Have you ever cheated on someone? oh yeah

30. Have you ever considered plastic surgery? If so, what would you change about your body? Boob job, 

31. Have you ever cried over a guy/girl? yup

32. Have you ever experienced unrequited love? oh yeah

33. Have you ever had sex with a man? no

34. Have you ever had sex with a woman? yes?

35. Have you ever kissed someone older than you? yes

36. Have you ever liked one of your best friends? yeah

37. Have you ever liked someone who your friends hated? lol no

38. Have you ever liked someone you didn’t expect to? yup

39. Have you ever wanted someone you couldn’t have? OH YEAH

40. Have you ever written a song or poem for someone? nope

41. Have you had sex so far this year? ugh no

42. How long can you just kiss until your hands start to wander? not long

43. How long was your longest relationship? no clue? im the worst

44. How many boyfriends/girlfriends have you had? too many 

45. How many people did you kiss in 2012/2013? 1? idk

46. How many times did you have sex last year? NO CLUE

47. How old are you? 20

48. If the person you like says they like someone else, what would you say? your loss.

49. If you have a boyfriend/girlfriend, what is your favorite thing about him/her? im single babeh

50. If your first true love knocked on your door with apology and presents, would you accept? yes.

51. Is there a boy/girl who you would do absolutely everything for? yes

52. Is there anyone you’ve given up on? Why? i dont give up on anyone

53. Is there someone mad because you’re dating/talking to the person you are? welp someone is mad bc im not dating them but im also single soooo

54. Is there someone you will never forget? yes

55. Share a relationship story. in 8th grade i dated a girl who ruined my life, we eventually broke up but she still continued to ruin my life all the way up to my senior year. COOL

56. State 8 facts about your body no thanks

57. Things you want to say to an ex dont get upset just cause i didnt want to fuck you

58. What are five ways to win your heart? my heart? i dont know her?

59. What do you look like? (Post a picture!)

60. What is the biggest age difference between you and any of your partners? just a few months. sadly

61. What is the first thing you notice in someone? their voice.

62. What is the sexiest thing someone could ever do for/to you? not be a dick.

63. What is your definition of “having sex”? penetration

64. What is your definition of cheating? sex.

65. What is your favourite foreplay routine? deep kisses + grinding.

66. What is your favourite roleplay? i dont roleplay babeh

67. What is your idea of the perfect date? being with my love

68. What is your sexual orientation? Bisexual babehhhh

69. What turns you off? being a dick

70. What turns you on? Dracula Teeth, Used to be my girl, Bad Habits, - The Last Shadow Puppets

71. What was your kinkiest wet dream? Threesomes. 

72. What words do you like to hear during sex? come find out? 

73. What’s something sweet you’d like someone to do for you? buy me merch.

74. What’s the most superficial characteristic you look for? no clue

75. What’s the sweetest thing anyone’s ever done for you? Front row to The xx @ ACL 2017

76. What’s the sweetest thing you’ve ever done for someone? spent my $$

77. What’s your opinion on age differences in relationships? as long as its 18+ go for it.

78. What’s your dirtiest secret? Married men give me their hard earned cash just to talk to me

79. When was the last time you felt jealous? Why? last week? someone had or has feelings for someone who cant compare to me.

80. When was the last time you told someone you loved them? love isnt real

81. Who are five people you find attractive? Alex Turner, Miles Kane, Romy Madley, Nick O’Malley, Jamie Cook. 

82. Who is the last person you hugged? my grandma

83. Who was your first kiss with? some guy

84. Why did your last relationship fail? Bad timing, too handsy not a good kisser. tragic really..

85. Would you ever date someone off of the Internet? oh yeah

[sheeter-solei]

48 New Get To Know Me Tag Questions No One Asks

got them from this link b/c i felt like oversharing about myself!

https://www.rootreport.com/get-to-know-me-tag-questions/

Are you named after anyone? my mom named me after her high school, st. theresa’s college, and the little flower of jesus, st. therese. for my second name, i’m not even joking about this, she named me after her favorite brand of jeans (lois jeans), but just added an e.

When was the last time you cried? not for a while, which i’m very thankful for.

Do you have kids? If no, how many do you want? lmao no, im too young for that rn. i would want 2, maybe 3? i would like to adopt too so probably 2 birth kids, 1 adopted.

If you were another person, would you be a friend of yourself? depends on the type of person i end up being.

Do you use sarcasm a lot? yah, so much so that my family can’t tell the difference anymore

What’s the first thing you notice about people? their smile. smiles are the most attractive!!!

What is your eye color? brown

Scary movie or happy endings? happy endings, because the world is pretty trash sometimes and ya kinda need the cliches to keep going

Favorite smells? spicy smells, the ones that tickle your nose

What’s the furthest you’ve ever been from home? university, which is like 30 miles away

Do you have any special talents? i can cite the opening of percy jackson and the olympians: the lightning thief verbatim.

Where were you born? cebu, the philippines

What’s your zodiac sign? Do you believe in it? virgo and yeah because i’m very analytical and i think thats where it comes from

What are your hobbies? i like to watch yt videos (mostly lets plays because i cant afford recent consoles or games rip), sing in different languages, dance, organizing (lmao it gives me peace of mind), spending time with my friends and family!!

Do you have any pets? no, but i wish i had a dog ;;;;

Do you have any siblings? yah, i have one older sister.

What do you want to be when you grow up? idek yet, ask me in 3 years

Who was your first best friend? i don’t remember, memories from the philippines are hazy

How tall are you? 5′ 1.7″

What is the least favourite thing about yourself? i can be pretty nosy because i have some level of social anxiety and i HAVE to confirm that they don’t dislike me???

Funniest moment throughout School? me and a bunch of friends stole a table from the floor downstairs and it was a whole production of watching and distracting the ra on duty and lugging the table up the stairs without noise. it was funny lmao

How many countries have you visited? 2 (US counts, and i laid over in hong kong when i left the ph)

What was your favorite/worst subject in High School? fave: psych worst: ap chem

What is your Favorite drink? Animal? Perfume? drink: ginger ale animal: dog perfume: lmao i don’t use nor really pay attention sooo

What would you (or have you) name your children? tbh idk yet

What Sports do you play/Have you played? i played tennis in HS, but not for long on a team

Who are some of your favorite YouTubers? mostly gaming channels, studytubes, and animation channels. jacksepticeye, domics, eroldstory, game grumps, gingerpale, jaiden animations, mattshea, revisign, kubz scouts, sarah, tbhstudying, etc.

How many Girlfriends/Boyfriends have you had? including my current one, i’ve had six boyfriends.

Favorite memory from childhood? the most vivid was when my mom came back from america and my family went to the beach. she put me on her shoulders and walked out into the waves with me. it was fun because it was exciting!!

How would you describe your fashion sense? bright casual, street style for guy days, soft, pastel girlfriend style for girl days

What phone do you have? (iOS v Android?) google pixel 2/android til i die

Tell us one of your bad habits! i prioritize sleeping over eating so ill skip meals just to go to bed, which when you’re already dangerously underweight is oof!!!

3 things that upset you? being betrayed by a friend, failing, men looking at me for too long

3 things that make you happy? being with my friends, trying new things, spicy food

How is your relationship with parents? i love my mom. she raised us by herself for 14 years here in america and i know everything she does is for us. my dad, on the other hand, is a big reason why i’m afraid of commitment (i mean i have hella half-siblings through him so put 2 and 2 together) so i don’t really care for him

What’s on your mind? i’m going back to uni soon and i really wanna be a good influence for my mentees from these two program im mentoring in

What’s your talent? lmao idk if i have much talent, except for the percy jackson thing. i’m good at organizing? maybe decent at singing and dancing? but only with a lot of practice ofc

One word that describes you? limitless

What’s your favorite quotes? “if it’s meant to be, it’s up to me!” "Calm is what you have to be when people look to you. And it's all you can be when things are out of your hands." - Colonel Hsu (F:NV) "It's like... Did you ever try to put a broken piece of glass back together? Even if the pieces fit, you can't make it whole again the way it was. But if you're clever, you can still use the pieces to make other useful things. Maybe even something wonderful, like a mosaic." - Moira Brown (F3) "We don't have to dream we are important. We are." - Mr. House (F:NV)

Are you an extrovert or introvert? big extrovert!!!

Are you left or right handed? righty

Do you consider yourself a good cook? lmao definitely not, i can only cook rice and instant ramen

Does your name have a special meaning? in french, it means reaper or one who reaps. i take that to mean i take any opportunity that comes my way.

If money were no object what would you get for your next birthday? a ticket home, for all three of us

If you could live anywhere in the world where would it be? US is just fine for me 

What’s your favourite thing to have for breakfast? radish kimchi MMMMMM

What’s your favourite gadget? my 3ds

What’s your longest relationship so far? my current one, we just hit our six month mark :,)))

if y’all wanna do it, go ahead!!! tag me so i can see!!