#delete later vent sorry

[fvedyetor]

..

[artsymeeshee]

one of those nights

[emberglowfox]

some dumb shit i needed to get off my chest

[robogart]

Finances/student loan vent?

Tried to reach out about my student loans to the private loan company they’re through to see if I could lower the monthly payments at all since I’m having trouble with the $375 lately and they were basically like “you can go on forbearance (they call it extension and seem to lump it as just general deferment) but it will accrue interest and you might have to pay more after anyways 😝 and I’m just like…bike accident pose wtf ; w ;

I know so many people have student loan debt in the country but in my immediate circles I’m the only person I know who has it and I just feel like a big idiot? Like I signed the “Want To Be An Indebted Fool” contract at 17. Like everyone I know has parents who paid for everything and it’s just like.. damn… I know it’s no one’s fault but the systems but I can’t help but feel like I’m constantly doing everything wrong 😔

I’ll figure it out somehow and I know a lot of it is a combination of many things happening in my life right now but yeesh! I tried to watch that Financial Diet YouTube a couple friends have told me about but like..it’s not really relatable to my financial circumstances so it feels hard to take notes? And I end up feeling stupid again lmao - this vicious capitalist cycle! 😤

If I had nicer feet I’d sell pictures but damn even that market is hard to break into unless you do something niche! Saucy pictures are such a tough thing to navigate too 😮‍💨

Aghhh anyways! Just grumbling and trying to figure things out!! I’m just feeling a bit lost and stressed over it all 🤧 trying to figure out so many work/career things too woof it’s been a pretty stressful new year @ w @

If anyone has financial advice/youtubers/blogs/etc for low income people with debt that you find helpful, I’d love to hear about it 🙏💖 or like a super rich family member who wants to give like 38k away bc they’re bored? Let me know! 👀✨

[jmdbjk]

Venting...

Photo card albums with 20 versions is bullshit. That's not music, its junk. I am by no means a Billboard stan whatsoever (holy jesus never) but if they're going to make rules there needs to be some god damn correlation between sales and streams.

That piece of shit album's streams were a fraction of their sales. And that's because their title single was a piece of shit recycled trope that BTS did YEARS ago and did it BETTER!!

Their sales were driven by stupid ass PHOTO CARDS that have no business being legitimized by any music industry!

Shit like that is what brings the reputation of kpop down to the bottom of the pit and then they wonder how come the western industry doesn't take them seriously.

And then it indirectly impacts BTS because the xenophobic, close-minded assholes who make up the western music industry take every opportunity to shove BTS in that box and slam the lid on them. BTS DO NOT belong in the kpop category!

I don't care if photo cards are collectible. I have nothing against that. But to create enough versions of an album to drive the sales of an album is NOT FAIR TO REAL MUSIC ARTISTS WHO CREATE ACTUAL REAL MUSIC!

I am mad. I will never respect that group. They are a farce. If this makes you unfollow me then we weren't ever on the same page to begin with.

[dulciechi]

//cw venting

Never done this before but I figured I’d get this off my chest. Will probably delete later.

Went on an unexpected hiatus bc of irl stuff, but tbh, I’ve started to feel a little burned out too. I’ve said this before, but I feel like an imposter whenever I make COTL content bc of the way I depict Narinder. It feels like I have a different view of him that contrasts with the popular headcanon.

But truthfully, I didn’t fall in love with this ship as an “enemies to lovers” trope. I grew interested when we first defeat Narinder and he acknowledges his defeat, even as he cursed the Lamb. The fact that his vitriol is confined to insults over the cult decorations, and that he shows hints of remorse over his actions instead of mulling over his lost crown was refreshing for a villain.

Depending on your choices, we even get to see him accept the Lamb as a proper successor when they choose to resurrect the dead. Like he’s just proud to see them continue his legacy (and maybe grateful to have someone else see the value in it.)

Idk, but seeing a final boss act so graceful after defeat was more interesting to me than one who stubbornly held on to grudges. Sure, he was still feisty and haughty, but he wasn’t a sore loser. He wasn’t a constantly fuming edgelord and that’s what made the ship interesting to me.

This topic is probably too complex for me to properly explain my thoughts, but I just needed to say it so it’d stop festering in my head.

To be clear, I don’t think my interpretation should be the *only* one. I do believe everyone has the right to portray him however they want, since fandom is for fun. I guess I’m just feeling a little lonely after scrolling through the tags.

[essenceofarda]

It's crazy to me that my doctors often criticize me for having "medical anxiety" but i never really had medical anxiety (to this extent at least) before I moved here and started seeing the doctors at this practice, where upon learning that I have a mental illness that has psychosis elements, would literally NEVER miss a chance to try to convince me that ALL my physical health issues are just a figment of my imagination, psychosis, or my apparent desire for attention ... (and like, not to mention they would oftentimes refuse to test or treat me unless i first "lost a bunch of weight"). My PCP once tried to convince me i must not be taking my mental health meds and that's why i "thought" i was having these health concerns... and like, belittling me to the point where I was told, point blank, to my face: "I'm not testing you for lyme Disease because it would be a waste of resources and you cannot possibly have it" (his exact words), despite my growing up and living in NEW ENGLAND, as well as one of the lyme disease capitols of the world, my dad being a deer hunter and having lyme disease himself, also having a bunch of symptoms that maybe could be other things too but were definitely in-line with lyme disease, but yeah, because I have a mental health disorder I must be just looking for attention 🙄 Now I avoid going to the doctor and when I do, I just downplay all my health concerns, even tho some are pretty serious and have a very negative impact on my day to day life.

Oh, the irony of being belittled by doctors for having "medical anxiety" when they were the ones who gave me medical anxiety in the first place lol

[zhongrin]

dick owners who are bodily able and living in an enviromentally capable conditions to flush toilets in a shared bathroom but don't,

fuck you 🖕🏻

[venriliz]

why is the concept of showing empathy for drug/alcohol addicts so hard to understand for some ppl? v.v they suffer too sis, that problem has to come from somewhere and i bet most of them would rather not be addicted in the first place. some people don't know what nuance is i swear. am i crazy for having empathy with addicts??? i don't think so.

[idiot-mushroom]

keep hearing ppl on here saying shit (or talking abt what ppl said/say) like ‘csa is such a uncomfy topic!!’ or ‘ i don’t really feel comfortable with that stuff…’ or ‘kids shouldn’t know this adult stuff!’

guys, i’m a minor, a chunk of my ttnm iteration is literally about my experiences with sexual harassment, be it I don’t rlly show it via art, i do talk abt it, dude i made a whole fic abt it!! I even made a sequel to the fic!!

and yeah if it does make u uncomfy, i always tag trigger warnings, so you can block those tags or just ignore the post, but don’t say i have to stop talking abt something that is so common and ignored and misinterpreted in the present day. sure my experiences can’t sum up everyone’s experiences but that’s the thing! they’re my experiences!

thank fuck that ppl don’t say shit like ‘you should take this down’ on my vent posts abt this shit bc i would honestly block them and then have to think abt how fucked up it is that as soon as I actually try to really dive deep in myself and be vulnerable and show the world my experience and emotions and thought and my memories and raw feelings i would get shut down because it made them ‘uncomfy’.

[call-me-copycat]

I just need to be told "You Can Do It" right now.

[homicidalxcutie]

I think the worst thing you can tell someone is that they are too much

Sorry I feel things in such a big way?

[fyodior]

.

[satorugojoswiife]

i kinda miss back when jjk wasn't big

[adrift-in-thyme]

Most of the time I’m fine being a person who never fits in. A person who never gets the newest trends or watches the cool new videos or has the latest apps or clothes or knows every popular song artist the radio plays into oblivion

But sometimes it feels very isolating

[alma-amentet]

Art is the only thing that can keep me going, that childhood dream of learning to draw well now is the only that can make me get out of bed... Though I feel it might be not enough.

They speak abt people, relationships, 'loved ones'... Welll not for this one. I used to believe there were 'friends I haven't met', now I don't know. Just don't want to hurt anyone anymore. Realizing how bad I am is actually painful bc maybe I'd like to be good, just don't know how. How to be enough for myself & someone else at the same time. I tried I failed.

My only close friend from another city is not available bc of her own mental struggles and work problems. I often envy people whose reaction to stress and anxiety is avoidance & getting numb. Mine is different. I'd need to be with someone, talk to someone, yet there's no one. And I don't deserve it anyway bc all must be paid back, yet I've no money for therapy, nothing to give to people, don't know how it's done anymore. Not enough even for myself.

Then there's the DLC. Just why? It was my last refuge, spource of inspiration. I see other people accepting and enjoying it, but can't. Reading some good fanfiction (written before the DLC or fixes) before bed helps, but being in fandom gets difficult at timed even with many things filtered.

I'm a failure of a woman, sometimes thinking it won't get better, it's over for me.

Just now mom interrupted me 2 times in a row and I broke down heavily. Then she came in asking abt some stuff casually (like, could I buy her some wet toilet paper), no excuses, not the slightest compassion... I told her honestly that I felt really hurt by those interruptions totally not in a mood for talks abt toilet paper.

Crying at the void wishing secretly for someone to hold me, comfort me and tell it's OK. Yet no one will come, and I feel like don't deserve it - not good enough, wasted all the opportunities.