#things are
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I love you
For absolutely no reason
it just is
and it is deafening
these things
are timeless
and heartbreaking
and frighteningly powerful
perhaps it is just a reflection
but I choose it
and I accept
where we are
each of us every one
Sometimes we accept things
long after they have weathered
and changed
and turned a page
content to read the next chapter
searching for a happy ending
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…and I know that it was my fault, I caused the problem, of course I bloody did, but I still dont want to forgive on it. I know I’m going to I know I’m blowing smoke when I say I’m leaving and it seems like I don’t have the option to anyways, I’m kinda stuck. I don’t want to though I want to leave. I want out I want out I want out. At least right now. Until I inevitably end up going back to normalcy.
You know it sucks when I can’t call myself the person who’s morally right here; regardless of how I feel about it all…
But I am going to, quietly at least, whisper to myself that I know who I am and I don’t want to be him I want to be me I want to be Fen I don’t know if I can do that here and I know I’m an ass in all the ways that matter but do you not understand why I don’t trust you why I can’t trust you we’ve been doing this dance for two years now but I’m running out of steps and the music’s still playing…
#vent#things are#let’s just say they are going#and I’m the person in the wrong and I caused that problem and that fight and it’s all gonna come apart and it’s my fault#but I want my feelings out there before I start doing that thing where I faun internally too and tell myself I’m fine with it all#I can already feel myself doing it#I’m not fine with that#I want out
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Me: I don't think I'd ever do anything like writing commissions... I feel like there'd be way too much pressure on me
*checks budget* YEESH
*googling 'how much to charge for tentacle smut'*
#jk#but also#a little not jk#things are#they sure are happening#and its okay to cry about them a little bit
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Its a difficult balance, allocating tasks. So much requires so much trust.
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well someone clearly likes how I think about robopussy (with average girlrizz) you have any rants loaded?
-clears throat- I personally feel that robofucking goes hand in hand as the natural evolution of being attracted to things like armour and workwear. My main points being as follows: Workwear: Thick fabrics/leather, buckles, buttons, you can feel the body through it Next step: Armour Armour: Metal, leather, soft skin underneath, contrast in texture and temperature makes it more erotic (sensory deprivation too if you're into that cause metal or what have you stops you from feeling someone's body/touch completely Next step: Robots Robots: Cold metal against soft warm skin, softer bits in between metal chunks/plates, weighty bodies, warm electronics, hard metal underneath soft fabrics
anyway you're 100% right on your take and I'll reblog it another 30 times if I feel the need. I both wish I was a bulky robot with exhaust fans and a screen for a face and would let a chunky android raw me until I couldn't see straight. Thank you for listening to me, I write android smut in my free time. Cheers. Always be postin' robots.
#this was rambly so sorry for that#loved to see the absolute deluge of reblogs from you before this lol#I like your blog a bunch!#you seem p cool maybe we should talk or smth idk im shy#hit me up if you like#you also reblogged my like#mutual aid post a few times which I cannot tell you how grateful I am#things are#not good right now#thats why its more important now more than ever to always be postin robots#show me ROBOT THIGHS
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#it’s been a long long time since i’ve dared to spend a night Anywhere other than my house#let alone like… With someone#but holy fucking shit am i relieved to just be out of this environment for a day lol#things are#okay#but also i just feel so much emotional weight in here rn#i need a breather fuck
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A while back my pharmacist saw my deadname on my profile and accidentially called it out, he corrected and deleted my deadname from the system so only my preferred name shows up now. There was a crowd of people behind me, so as he hands over the pills he apologized, in equal tone and volume as when he called my deadname and lied saying it's been a long day and he didn't mean to call out -his own- name. I quietly told him it was fine and he didn't need to do that for my sake.
His response: "No, it's my name now."
I went to the pharmacist yesterday, his nametag is my deadname. He informed me he's immigrating and in the process he's changed his first name to my deadname to have an English sounding name. That's why he's now able to get a reprint of his nametag to be my deadname. And repeated, with the intense seriousness of someone who is going to die on this hill: "It's mine now. Not yours. I'm taking." His tone indicated that decision is final.
Bro literally deadnamed me once, and has committed to flat out stealing my deadname. It's his now. Legally. Officially. I over heard his co-workers call him by the name.
#trans#transgender#transgender positivity#lgbt+#lgbtq+#lgbtqia+#2slgbtqia+#mtf#talisidekick#talisidekick things
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HELLLLLL YEAH!!!!!!!
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presented without comment
#this is perhaps the worst thing i’ve ever made#so now it gets to terrorise people outside of my private discord server#enjoy#gravity falls#billford#gideon gleeful#dipper pines#stanley pines#stanford pines#bill cipher#the book of bill
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it came to my realization that 99% of my fandom related headaches would be cured if everyone understood this
#making this at 2 am was like top 10 autism moment for me#this is helping me make sense of so many things hopefully it helps someone else too idk#user macdenlover drops badly drawn infographic media literacy rates skyrocket theres world peace#anyways#for sunny 1.5 is the sweet spot for me. a sexy medium rare if u will#but it completely depends on the piece of media#with supernatural i was a 2.5 on a good day.
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unoriginal joke
#Gravity Falls#Stanley Pines#Stanford Pines#Ford Pines#Stan Pines#shitpost#I put the ID in the little thing tumblr has for it this time because I am still experimenting with which is best wah#This joke has been made before I am sure of it but.
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idk man but something about Stanley "taught himself extremely advance physics/math/probably many other things while running a relatively successful business" Pines and Stanford "is wanted in almost every dimension with a judicial system of some kind" Pines is sooo fucking funny to me
#one day stan corrects one of fords equations and both of them have to stop. and stare in horror#the same thing happens when ford starts talking about all the times he broke out of prison#gravity falls#stan pines#ford pines#stanley pines#stanford pines
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shoutout to the guy who after unsuccessfully hitting on my sister and being politely declined asked her "is it okay if i ask your brother instead" and when she said yes gave me a long and searching look before sighing and going "no. i am not drunk enough to go for a dude. but you look like an angel" happy bisexual pride to this man and this man only. hope you figure it out soon king
#interestingly not the most harrowing thing that happened tonight no that was#getting recognized from a podcast. i hope that never happens to me again thats so fucking scary#fuck me and my wretched life why do i always end up exisiting in the public eye while detesting the consequences
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shoutout to everyone who wants to infodump but cant string together coherent thoughts to form sentences and instead just look at you like this
#and by 'everyone' i mean me. im just hoping other people relate lmao#someone asks me about a thing i like and im just like h..................#been thinking about The Character for a solid 6 months+ and let me tell you. expldoeing soon#this is about ffxv btw . how am i supposed to say how much it lives in my brain . i cant think#text#1k#5k#10k#15k#20k#great googly moogly#30k#40k#50k#60k#boooy what da heeel#70k#80k#90k#will this be my first ever post to hit 100k... it remains to be seen#good lord. we did it#100k
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