#bc i cant go home
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i really dont know what to say except for like. to all my online friends i kinda blipped out of existence out of the blue from. im sorry i love you i miss you
#idrk how many of them think of me anymore but even if we dont talk i think about a lot of yall#sorry im not around anymore. i cant keep saying oh ill come back snd then fail to do that.#i dont really know what to say anymore ever and i get too scared to look anymore and thats my own fault#is it selfish to say just please dont forget about me. i dont know maybe it is. sorry#everyone can and should ignore this im just having a really rough go at it st like 4 am#fuck everythinf fuck college once its spring break im gonna get so wasted slone in my dorm#bc i cant go home#lol.#eli. saff. ashe. dallas. percy. sunset. val. the servers. everyone else. shout out to yall mainly.
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take me to church
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churchgate has invaded my brain
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#thank you home of the nutty dot com#for the screen caps of the church#and everything else#my love#muah#okay so#yall shouldve never talked to me abt this theory#bc im going bonkers#i cant wait to see the church scenes#and the mansion scenes#bc what#im intrigued#also the intro to heaven tonight by HIM is kinda fitting for this#you know besides hozier#but ok#byler#stranger things#will byers#mike wheeler#byler fanart#stranger things fanart#fanart#will byers fanart#mike wheeler fanart#stranger things 5#st5 spoilers#st5 speculation#churchgate#irisart!!!
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something people just don’t think about is how often chronically ill and disabled people just don’t have access to good food. not healthy food, good food; well made, tasty meals that don’t come from a jar or a freezer. how many of us are housebound or can’t drive? delivery services only offer within certain distances, if you live outside a city they aren’t an option. many people don’t have the energy or ability to cook for themselves if they have the skill to begin with. many certainly don’t have the ability to learn how. it’s something that goes completely unnoticed, just the opportunity to have a good meal and how much that wears you down
#all i want is chinese food#the closest one to me is 40 minutes away and its a /bad/ chinese place#its my worst option and its not even an option#‘fried rice is easy to make heres a recipe!’#i cant use a stove bc the heat will give me a seizure#even if i keep myself cool something that should take 15 minutes will take upwards of an hour bc i need to take breaks#even then ill probably be too nauseous to eat it after being active for so long#all of that for a bad cooks version of fried rice#more expensive and worse than a takeaway place#but i cant get it from a takeaway place#repeat ad nauseum for the rest of my life and is it any wonder im so sick of the same food ive eaten for 10 years#the only time i get takeaway is when my parents decide to go out and bring something home#can you imagine living like that for the rest of your life?#i dont have to#and its so dumb to want to cry over rice#but its not really about the rice is it#coming out of my cage and ive been doing just fine.txt#spoonie#chronic illness#disability#pots#postural orthostatic tachycardia syndrome#ehlers danlos syndrome#fibromyalgia#chronic fatigue#chronically ill#mental illness#mental health#save post
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Learn from who? Learn from you?
Chen Bowen as CHEN YI & Chiang Tien as AI DI KISEKI: DEAR TO ME (2023)
#kiseki: dear to me#kisekiedit#kdtm#kiseki dear to me#ai di x chen yi#chen yi x ai di#nat chen#chen bowen#louis chiang#chiang tien#jiang dian#userspring#uservid#pdribs#userspicy#userjjessi#*cajedit#*gif#uh huh. mmhm. parallels and shit#OK LIKE. in nice words ai di essentially tells chen yi to go for it BUT bc hes a Lil Shit he says it like 'use force to PROVE how you feel.#followed by '.....OH WAIT YOU CANT BEAT HIM'. the way he rubs that in chen yi's face too like it isnt even 'youre weaker than him.'#it's you're LOWER than him. & thats why ai di calls him a coward bc therell always be a divide between chen yi & cdy that chen yi wont cros#and the point of this is - okay i know chen yi is literally picking ai di up and throwing him around here but also you have to remember#ai di LETS HIM. ai di doesnt fight back as hard as he could and that puts them on EVEN. EQUAL. GROUND. every time.#& yeah theres some comedy to it but you cant Ever forget that ai di wants chen yi to want him. needs it. he's faking sleep in the 1st scene#and once chen yi realizes what he wants he puts everything he has into keeping it - inadvertently taking ai di's advice by doing so -#& expresses it in every kind of way too. whatever it takes. bc between the two of them its not just 'bring him back' it's 'bring him HOME'#in a way thats based on the constantly being witness to the worst of each other & choosing it AND. years and layers of trust & love.#..ok only I would take a gifset of chen yi picking ai di up & make it abt how their relationship is perfectly balanced. but im right so idc#the last one ties it all together in my onion. chen yi got him home. and ai di's deliberately allowing himself to be loved. they won
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brooo they have goth worms in there
#râma iese din pământ#im still wearin this a day later i cant WAIT to get it off#worked all day in it slept in it bc i went home with my bestie. to their place#i did not manage to sleep all night 👍#at least ill be done w my shift around midnight... and then i can go home... nap....
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FLUFFY GUY HAS MADE HIS FIRST ORBIT OF THE SUN! HAPPY BIRTHDAY KEPLER! 🎉🔭💫
#from wee little bean to giant fuzzy honse#i cant believe my baby boy has grown up so fast 😭#i am so so glad i ended up with him. i didnt even have a lot in mind besides 'i want a boy collie' but he's so absurdly gd charming#he genuinely is friends with everyone. cats dogs people kids. impossible not to love#the first day i brought him home he was in the yard exploring and i said 'yay good boy whos a good boy' etc#and i just suddenly started sobbing bc i hadnt said those words in so long and i didnt realize until then when the last time i'd said them#and he just kind of looked at me like. :) 'hi im babey :)'#and that was when it was really like. yeah actually i think i am going to be ok#love you buddy ❤️ here's to a lifetime of adventures together#pls stop peeing in my house#Kepcollie
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pov u are walking through the woods minding your own business in early 18th century new england
(click for better quality)
#i stared at this way too long and now i cant tell if it's awful or not#like that does not look like their faces but also maybe for the best bc actually drawing aubrey and kathryn like that was ??? for me#if this is the worst art ever committed to digital media blame it on it being 5am pls#also i was using a different tablet and brushes bc im not home#i fear im going to wake up tomorrow and hate this so i have to post it now or else#agatha all along#agathario#agatha x rio#agatha fanart#agatha all along fanart#agatha harkness#rio vidal#em’s art
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i think you guys are onto smth..
i unironically got invested in this HELP
#WHERES THE FIC AT IF SOMEONE WRITES THIS I WILL PAY THEM A HUNDRED DOLLARS😭😭#kunikida serving the country while dazai's serving cunt😔#dazai was born to malewife but forced to manipulate and i think that's the greatest tragedy of bsd#anyway some facts i would like to share abt this au thay i came up w while drawing!!#takes place in 1939 (start of wwii) and there was a mandatory draft that required one male over eighteen from each house to serve#both of them are still twenty two and had been engaged for abt two years before getting married that year#newlyweds! unfortunately kuni had to go fight and they were seperated :(#before the war kunikida was a math teacher at the local high school and dazai obviously managed the household and didn't work#he's hopeless at cooking and meal prep even w recipie books so they either get those prepackaged meals or kuni makes dinner when he gets ba#so like when he's making lunch for kunikida he normally just packs a basic sandwich w raw fruit#kunikida always appreciates the effort even tho hes probably sick of having the same thing everyday but he won't complain abt it#when kunikida joined the army he was relieved that the mess hall had better food than dazai#he was the only one in his platoon that never complained abt the food so his fellow soldiers assumed it was bc he came from a tough bg#when in reality he was just used to being poisoned on a daily basis from his dumbass husbands cooking and was hardly fazed from army ration#they write to each other although its more dazai sending and kuni receiving bc hes off fighting and doesnt have time to write back#dazai talks abt life on the homefront and how he has to grow a victory garden (everything is DYING HE CANT EVEN RAISE TOMATOES)#and kuni writes abt his fellow soldiers and how the war is going and when he thinks he'll be home and how he misses sleeping in a bed#ANYWAY yea thought i'd share sry for infodumping in the tags again#this post is for like the four ppl that care abt this specific flavor of knkdz so hopefully this gets four notes at least#bungou stray dogs#bungo stray dogs#dazai osamu#osamu dazai#kunikida doppo#doppo kunikida#kunikidazai#knkdz#lotus draws#bro sry for posting at two in the morning i couldnt sleep until i got this out of my head they have infested my brain
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Literally like the one good thing abt reading abt celebrities is sometimes they just have such interesting bizarre lives it's just fun to read about AND it's A+ character/writing insp tbh
#i cant say i like him anymore but im always thinking abt danny eIfmans life story bc its just. Bizarre#like. spends college savings on going to east africa. busking there. goes back home and joins the circus.#leaves circus. joins his BROTHERS circus. we have photos of him just being a clown. etc etc#etc etc#oh my god WHO'S THAT REALLY OLD DUDE WHO PLAYED LIEK GANDALF#im forgetting his name but hes also SO WEIRD. was in world war 2.told lotr director nuh uh people die like *THIS* not this#i know cause ive seen it. with my Eyes.#t
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young at last, at last.
#you ever think like.. they finally have a chance to be young. for real this time#just going around hyrule on an eternal honeymoon#yeah i think about that a lot.#zelink#tears of the kingdom#the legend of zelda#zelda#link#totk#breath of the wild#flowerpower art#yes i doodled instead of writing. bc my brain cant form words#yes her shirt looks a bit modern but this is not a modern au lol#they’re somewhere in the woods in akkala near their dream home#hanging out and chilling and smooching post totk<3
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Fucks me up jobs expect workers to show up despite wild circumstances. I remember at a former job having to traverse sub zero temperatures just to walk to my job because they refused to close the building. I remember having to work front line in covid as an immune compromised individual with no vaccine produced yet and when concerns were expressed, my superiors responded with "when workers get infected, these parts of the building will be closed". God forbid you lose a family member. You're expected to show up anyway.
Today my boss told me to contact an office to confirm if a doctor has his papers in order. I say: they won't pick up, and he asks why, to which I responded: THEY WERE IN DIRECT LINE OF MILTON, YOU KNOW, THE DEVISTATING HURRICANE PART 2?? WHY WOULD THEY PICK UP???
#fuck capitalism#we work in healthcare. you would think that wellbeing would be at the forefront of concern but NOPE#also: told my boss i had no power because of the storm so i cant work from home#and then he's like: u call the power company? you know the eta of the power company? where u live?#and im like??? girl. hurricane ran through and i aint got power. that should be sufficient enough#was staying somewhere else with fam and power out so i had to uber 45 min back to my house to go to work from home. idk seems excessive#vent tw#anyway the doc office didnt pick up bc of milton reasons. i did call and email at request of le boss but my logic was sound#and confirmed
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I hate hate HATE when people say I'm "having an attitude" with them, bc I'm literally not until AFTER they say that. And thats not even "an attitude", it's me being annoyed and frustrated bc youre saying im having an attitude when im NOT.
Like what does that even mean. I'm just autistic.
#blah blah blah#vent#like i was just responding to my name being called???? i literally just went “huh?” which i do all the time?????#and when you walk off mumbling shit that i cant hear bc we're dozens of feet away from each other in a loud ass store#and i come over and ask what you wanted#and youre like “i said we'll talk when you drop the attitude” or whatever and have the audacity to smirk at me like its a joke and i have#any idea wtf youre talking about#like i got so frustrated and upset about it that i legit cried for like an hour after that. while still doing my work bc i just wanna get#done and go home.#this is about one of my managers btw. if it wasn't obvious#like shes cool most of the time. but she says shit sometimes that make me wanna quit on the fucking spot
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bedroom
#self portrait#art persona#surreal#2025#i've been stuck at home bc i have bronchitis and cant go to work#so here's a drawing/collage of me + some of the objects in my room
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juvie buddies
#alek art#td duncan#td mal#total drama#total drama all stars#(if i want to get technical)#2024#duncan is around 15 here... mal is around 16#ive thought really hard about them these past few days . in my brain they actually knew each other and canon is different#duncan and mike got along really well. in juvie mal refused to speak to anyone about anything and would fight as many people as he could .#he wanted to stay in there and far away from home . they get roomed together and duncan is the first person who mal can talk to . he isnt#scared of him . he relates to him a lot . like -> wow we both act out for attention and people think we are terrible because of it#duncan being a mentally ill teenager seeing mal an also very mentally ill teenager thought 'i can fix him' . mike and duncan speak too here#i cant really see anyone else fronting besides those two . their brain was on lockdown and mike wanted out so bad . i see manitoba as a#gatekeeper so hed handle some sessions with their psych. i want to say they (duncan and mike) get moved to a psyche ward just because#i have more knowledge on being in one and how it goes ... but yeah i like duncan mal a lot . this art isnt ship whatsoever though 🙏 i dont#see them as a couple their dynamic is just better as friends imo#but anyways in all stars they obviously recognize each other but have an unspoken agreement not to say anything abt it#duncan is a known criminal but mike isnt like that . mike hadnt even told zoey about that part of his life . so duncan wanted to respect his#privacy -> then mal starts hurting people and he has to step in . mal isnt a good person by any means but i dont think he was that bad in#juvie . so duncan had to come to terms that his friend wasnt the same person he was years ago (in all stars duncan is ~18 and i think mike#is almost 20... so it had been a while since they last talked)#them getting each other like no other and being in pain because they couldnt really speak . i see them having a conversation still in moon#madness abt their past and history . god i just think abt them and their wasted potential wdym mike and duncan were in juvie together#duncan was in for trespassing or destruction of private property or something really dumb . mal fought his parent(s) and got in for assault#mal was already in when duncan was placed . and duncan was let out early on good behavior + his parents (dad) mostly did it to teach him a#lesson . wrong of them or otherwise . so mal was just kinda stuck there until they realized he was actually not right in the head . think he#knew abt their DID but was only diagnosed in juvie and had to go from there . tbh he shouldve been tried as an adult but td logic . doesnt#matter dw guys . mike gets the 'was put on random meds that made him go braindead' treatment bc that was me . post mental hospital abilify#had me messed up
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there might be a spider somewhere and that’s enough for me to be paranoid
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#HOME INVASIONS GOT MY BROTHERS DYING/ref#I don’t think ppl understand me when I say I’m paranoid#I cant go to sleep in my room. I can’t sit down. I can’t eat. I can’t pick up anything. I can’t move. I cry.#I need to be in an open space in case I feel like running. I can’t be near my bed. I can’t open or close doors.#I dont even feel safe when I’m not moving but I also don’t feel safe when I’m moving and ceilings scare me#I’m actually so scared as I write this bc I’m sitting down at my desk trying to eat but what if the spider is under my desk or on my chair#Or literally anywhere possible. Maybe it’s behind my pc or iPad. Or on the shelves. It could be anywhere close to me.#This is the typa behaviour I be showing and my parents still don’t take me to the psychologist man#My ma doesn’t believe in phobias or mental illness#Jesus Christ this is all because of a spider that was in my bathroom this morning#Also I’m eating spaghetti with cheese for the first time
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act i scene i: older, childless, bachelor Barbarian!Bakugo finds you six months pregnant hiding in an empty stable during one of his clan raids--and instead of slaughtering you as a much younger him might've done...he throws you onto his cart of treasures and decides to take you home so he can start the family he never had with you and your child as his bride and baby.
#bakugo#i actually wrote a bunch out for this but i dont like it and it's too long so here you go#if i work on it some more tonight ill reblob this with it#but for now heres the premise (it's dark srry):#sh*t gets weird ofc#im imagining you got preggo at the last raid you went through but managed to survive#so it's not like you want the child anyway#and when he raids your village like lowk you dont care bc it isnt your home . plus youre not even expecting to survive#since you have no husband and are incapacitated with baby#so youre just waiting to die essentially but then this sexy barbarian saves you thinking hes being ... nice#bakugo is like. well now is a good time as any since idf like anyone in my village#and youre just like dam this sucks#anyway LMFAOOOOOO then youre in his house having this baby and the whole town is invested in this tea#and not only does bakugo have to win you over ... he has to convince u life is worth living#and that he's really gonna be the dad to your baby#you try running away after giving birth and ofc u cant do it and he has to rescue you#and youre so upset#but he washes you up and scolds you in his tongue for being stupid#and hes not gonna keep u forever if its not what u want but#he really does want the baby and you if youll have him#and everyone is rooting for him and likes u so much#even tho ur like a feral mama cat#jfalsdjkfladksjf#gen#shii posts#pregnancy tw
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