#batman is a proud dad

[provecfy]

Silly Batfam headcanon that David Cain (who introduced his daughter to a lot of his contacts during her upbringing) in his younger days used to be... a lot more involved in politics.

So, one seemingly slow day in a certain american inteligence agency:

CIA agent, entering the room in a panic: Sir, Bruce Wayne has-

Head of the pentagon: The playboy millionaire? Why do I care what he has done?

Agent: Because he has publicly adopted Cassandra Cain, sir!

Pentagon head: Cassandra Cain?

Agent: Yes, sir.

Head: Daughter of internacional assassin David Cain?!

Agent: The one, sir.

Head: THE GUY WE HIRED TO KILL KENNEDY AND COVER IT UP THIRTY YEARS AGO??????

Agent: Exactly.

Head: I thought her daugther had disappeared and was missing or something, how has she been adopted by Bruce Fucking Wayne?!

Agent: We're looking into it. She's using forged legal documents but it's definitely her, should we arrest her?

Head, grabbing the agent by the collar: That's the girl who beat every single UN-wanted assassin on earth before her age hit double digits, you idiot! If you so much as lay a finger on her she will break it and then come after me for seconds, no one touches her!

Agent: Ok, sir, put me down, please. *Head lets go of him* Should we put all of Wayne Mannor under official protection, then?

Head: Yeah, yeah, that sounds about right, wouldn't want something bad to happen to Cain's new father that could send her on a vengeance quest.

Agent: Do you think the Batman knows the Waynes are harboring the singular most dangerous non-meta teenager on Earth?

Head, about to have a heart attack: Oh, God, if the Batman goes after Wayne it could send Cain into a rampage. Establish emergency communications with Batman, appeal to his good nature, offer him whatever he wants, he can't go after Cassandra Wayne!

*One day later, on a rooftop in Gotham*

Batman: Speak, I'm busy.

Agent: Yes, I won't take much of your time. My bosses want to- who's that?

Batman, without turning to look at the figure behind him: That's Batgirl, my partner. But you were talking to me.

Agent: O-of course. Listen, there's a new dangerous criminal here in Gotham you will wanna hear about.

Batman: I thought your bosses didn't like working with me?

Agent: we don't wanna work with you. We want you to leave this criminal alone, as we believe she's looking to turn a new leaf. That, and she might probe a greater threat if provoked. *hands him pictures of Cassandra during the adoption announcement*

Batman, thirty years of poker face training:

Agent: She is Cassandra Wayne, new adopted daughter of Bruce Wayne.

Batgirl, noticing the inmediate shift to proud-happy-proud when the agent refered to her as his daughter:

Batman: I've heard about her, Bruce Wayne seems very fond of her already. Very well, I will leave her alone, she hasn't done anything bad as far as I've found in my investigation anyway.

Agent, sighing in relief, looking down a second to pocket the pictures: That's great to hear, it's a pleasure to- *looks up and both vigilantes have disappeared*

*a few roofs away*

Batman, walking in absolute silence:

Batgirl, pullings his sleeve: Fond of me?

Batman, nodding, red under the cowl: Fond of you.

[tiger-grace]

Superman: I haven’t seen you at the watchtower for a while. Where have you been the last few weeks, Batman?

Bruce: Rehab.

Superman, worriedly: Oh, I’m so sorry- I never knew you struggled with that. If you don’t mind me asking, what for?

Bruce, grimacing as he watches public footage of Signal and Red Hood starting a dumpster fire out of Pro-Joker merch: ..adoption.

[haveihitanerve]

Ok so, idea. Damian says ‘i love you’ as a sort of goodbye/thank you. Like for example “This evidence will prove very useful on this case, I love you Todd.” or “this photo of Titus is most adequate Drake, I shall have enough to start drawing. I love you.” or “The meal was most delicious Pennyworth, I love you.” And everyone coos and is like “aww.” even jason and they look at dick because like obviously dick taught damian that, hes the golden child, the one damian looks up to the most, the most affectionate one…

But the truth is, Damian learned it from Bruce. Damian is there when Bruce calls his other kids, he hears Bruce go “I love you.” As a goodbye the second after the child at the other end hangs up. He hears Bruce say ‘i love you’ to alfred, quietly, when hes patching him up after a mission, hears the frantic ‘i love you’s’ after someone gets hurt on patrol, and he thinks thats how its done. But Bruce seems to think the same as everyone else, that he got it from Dick, and Dick looks so pleased, Damian decided not to correct them. Besides, who do they think Dick got it from?

[iamliquid]

Epilogue: Jason listens to white girl music

Dick comes back to Gotham after having left for a while to stay in Blüdhaven and thought it might be a good idea to go see his family again.

As he zips around the city it was quiet. But too quiet.

Which was suspicious, but he did have a feeling that it had at least something to do with his family. Because no way GOTHAM of all cities would be this quiet. He always heard music playing at least from 2 radios around somewhere in the city.

He found it suspicious and planned on asking Bruce once he got back.

When he did eventually arrive at the batcave after a particularly.. worrying? Situation where as he was fighting with some criminals, they suddenly just froze when music zoomed passed spesficilly 'Look what you made me do'. The criminals hurriedly scrambled just handing Dick the things they stole and scurried off.

Walking further into the batcave, the sound of keyboard cackling echos. The very well known silhouette of the man who had taken care of him years before comes into view.

"Hey Bruce?"

"Yes chum?"

"So what's going on in Gotham? Why is everything on silent mode?"

"..." Bruce sighs pinching the bridge of his nose. "Watch this."

Bruce pulls up a saved security video on to the many monitors of the bat computer. The first frame showed Jason and Tim on Jasons motorcycle. Bruce presses the play button and the sound of 'Last Friday night' plays. As they zoom away you can see Jason hopping off the motorcycle mid drive, and Tim takes over driving away.

Then immediately the next frame he can hear distant screams and yells of agony.

"Huh. That explains it.." Dick says with not so much surprise, honestly he was kinda proud.

[regonold]

Danny accidentally starts beef with batman over kids

So I'm a sucker for dani and dan being Danny's kids (bonus points if danny gets called mum) and both of them are chaotic

The bat kids (family all of them batman and alfred included) are chaotic as well danny learns this after freshly joining the league as the semi immortal possibly from the start of time phantom and the league are introducing him to everyone and bonding and mentioning some of the wacky how the fuck shit that batman and his kids have done

So danny mentions some of the stuff his kids have done whilst batman is passing by, batman who hasn't had a nap in the past 72 hours and the day before as bruce was dealing with margie on the pta

And he makes a comment just a tiny one about how his kids saved a group from a hostage situation

And thus the rivalry began danny and batman keep bragging to each other about their kids sometimes it's vigilante stuff sometimes it mundane danny brags about how dani is so good with animals batman brags about how his youngest volunteers at the animal shelter

Just give me batman and danny bragging about their children to each other

[everwalldigan]

Under the red hood alternative story where Jason doesn’t go the drug lord “choose me or him” route and instead hatches a plan to make Bruce love him ‘again’ and get attached to him and then he lets himself get killed again cause CLEARLY Bruce didn’t mourn him enough the first time. It totally makes sense.

Jason, while hugging Bruce after the DNA test came back positive, grinning evilly behind his back: hahahahaha yeah this’ll fucking show him!

Except. He miscalculated. Severely. Suddenly the thought of dying is a terrifying one because his life has never been this peaceful. Bruce helped him finish his school education and convinced him to enrol into university, even helped him take over crime alley’s underground in the meantime.

Jason, while spending time with Bruce, not fighting and just existing peacefully in each other’s company, realising that he doesn’t really fancy dying anymore and his plan is effectively Ruined: fuck.

[shower-phantom-ideas]

Bruh emotional support ghost kid? Well thats what they are calling him

Suicide cases in gothem are about to fucking plummet boiz cause this one weird blue eyes, black haired boy is now heading to your location.

How does he know where to be? Having a bad day and are all alone? No the fuck your not cause don’t turn around now but theres some shiny blue eyes coming at you from that dark ally. Oh shit hes here to drop some information about you and your lost loved ones that he should know. Oh god the closure. How could you have been afraid on this sweet, creepy, boy who just helped you find your way.

Meanwhile Danny is chillin in Gothem cause the GIW hate it there (none of they equipment actually functions in Gothem so it’s either super haunted or actually not haunted at all). Then all of a sudden he gets approached by a random ghost begging for his help because their sweet baby girl is about to do something horrible. Oops now all the ghosts are following their most loved ones around just to make sure they are there to rush to Danny for help when all else fails. Now hes getting to fulfil his protection obsession double time because one hes helping protect people from themselves and two hes protecting everyone in Gothem by stopping people from becoming villains for revenge. Plus he gets to see first hand how hes making a difference because all those people he saved are sending him some good vibes from all across Gothem.

Thank god he followed Jazz around so much to slightly absorb some of her phycology knowledge over the years. Plus it was actually pretty interesting so she gave him her old text books. Shes also helping him deal with the rare events where he can’t save someone. Just a moment too late or he stops them but they later succeeded in the hospital. Neither are his fault. Now only if he could convince his core of that.

Anyway why Gothem you ask? Amity Park would have been just as good tbh but imagine Batmans face when he finally gets to be face to face with the emotional support ghost boy. Why is he here? Bruce is fine. Batman is fine. Hes not gonna do anything crazy. It’s just a hard time of year. Around their death always gives him grief. But hes an adult and can manage it.

“You know they are so proud of you.” The boy states. As if it’s clear as day, even though it’s Gothem and never a clear day. Batman blinks at him, stunned for a moment. “What?” This boy can’t possibly know that. No one will ever know that, Bruce can only hope. “They see their home, full of such life. That big house that felt so empty, so cold, to them as well for years. Then you filled it with Family and Love like they had always wanted for you. They are so proud of what you have turned it into. Somewhere full of life and warmth.” A small smile graces his face as finally “you have made your parents so proud” and its all he can do to contain himself. Emotions are running high and sue him because he really did need to hear that ok. The boy suddenly looks to Bruces right with a confused face “aren’t all basements like that though?” Before Bruce can even get a word in hes gone. Just vanished before his eyes.

[spacedace]

Got another DP x DC prompt for yall:

Things in Amity are going bad, the GIW are getting more aggressive and Jack and Maddie are starting to suspect there is something ghostly going on with Danny and Jazz is scared out of her mind and desperate to get them the hell out or dodge before she comes home one day to find her baby brother strapped to a table in the basement or worse.

She knows there's no way she's going to be able to get custody of Danny though (maybe she's still a minor herself, maybe she is over eighteen but it takes more than being a legal adult to get custody of a kid, and Jazz just doesn't have what the government is looking for and she can't risk Danny getting lost in the system) and even if she could, where could they possibly go? Even if they ran away, they don't have any way to survive.

Half out of her mind with stress and exhaustion late one night she ends up digging through their family tree looking for someone, anyone, that looks like they might be able to help, that could at least get them away from Amity Park if nothing else. She and Danny had each other, and literally anything was better then the nightmare creeping ever closer.

And somehow it doesn't even take that long, maybe luck finally shifting their way for once, maybe Clockwork nudging things along just right, but she finds someone.

As far as family relations go, they're on branches as far away from each other as possible while still being on the same tree. And of course the person in question has a pretty massive criminal background and is still super obviously involved in some shady stuff, but Jazz does her research and can see that - criminal mastermind or no - there's no history of vivisecting children or ghost hunting and honestly the Goonion review is pretty glowing.

Besides, Gotham's ambiant ectoplasm is about the same as Amity Park's, it'll help keep Danny (and her, really, as liminal as she is) healthy.

It's a long shot, but short of fleeing to the Ghost Zone and praying their parents don't chase after them, it's all she’s got. So, using one of Tucker's programs, she gets ahold of a phone number and makes the call.

To say that Oswald Cobblepot is surprised by her reaching out and suspicious of her desperate request would be an under statement.

But he knows a con, and this doesn't sound like one. The girl on the other end of the line sounds close to tears, begging him to hear her out, pleading for his help. When he has his people investigate he finds that Jasmine Fenton isn't lying. They are distant cousins - very distant - and the kids' parents are honestly Arkham levels of insane and the kids' teachers have been getting progressively more frantic in their reporting on their concerns. The notes on Daniel Fenton and the number of visible injuries he's been going to school with are particularly concerning. As is the fact that the Drs. Fenton are apparently scientists on top of being entirely mad.

Call Oswald a soft touch, but there's an old childhood wound deep in his heart that has him feeling for the kids, and from what he’s seen of Jasmine - Jazz, she said to call her, and her little brother is Danny, not Daniel - she's got the kind of drive he admires.

And hell it's not as if he can't afford to put them up in an apartment somewhere out of the way if they turn out to be too much trouble. Besides adopting a couple of sad kids from a shitty home can only be good for his reputation, look how well it worked for Bruce Wayne.

Maybe if he plays his cards right, he can set up a play date with the Wayne kids or something, really get some good networking in.

[lunewolf13]

I have it stuck in my head that if Bruce got Damian when he was still a baby and Dami was not trained in secrecy, this would happen.

Four year old Damian: My dad is Batman!

The group of preschoolers who were playing with him: Woww!!

And later, several of them excitedly tells their parents: His dad's BATMAN! So cool!

The parents: Batman, huh? That's very cool. And Damian tells Bruce he told everyone at school that he's Batman, and Bruce is paranoid they'll tell their parents, and the parents will expose his identity.

And then Alfred reminds him that no one's going to believe a four year old boy. Not when that boy is comparing his father to a hero.

[jewelsli]

Not that I don’t love when Bruce’s kids outperform him and give him heart attacks, but I think it’s funnier when the kids think they are better fighters/spies/infiltrators/etc. then him but he’s just so proud so he lets them think that they are.

I think that Babs would be a really good hacker, the best in the family, but Tim, who thinks that he is the next best(and is still scarily good) has no idea that Bruce only let him think that he broke his record of hacking into secret organizations.

Dick is amazing at acrobatics, and centers his fighting style around it much more. He even won gold in the Olympics for gymnastics! Bruce doesn’t want to tell him that he trained under several gymnasts, contortionists, even ballerinas!!! and has the acrobatic fighting style mastered, so he (within reason) let’s his kid win on most occasions, he doesn’t need to fake loosing on trapeze though(I am still giving the kids SOME things they are better at…)

Cass knows that nobody can lie to her, she can spot everyone’s tells and knows most people better then they know themselves. Bruce is, however, extremely paranoid and also has a kryptonian he works with regularly. He lies so well that he can convince himself he’s telling the truth(which is literally the point in case of advanced lie detectors), and so what if he lets some of his tells be more obvious around his baby, he’s so proud of her for picking up such small things! And while Bruce is AMAZING at reading people, he can’t beat Cass, it is however much closer matched then the others think.

Let’s be honest, Bruce is banned from the kitchen and isn’t good at cooking… or so everyone thinks. While he’s not as good as Alfred or even Jason he could whip up something Gordon Ramsey would be proud of if he actually tried to.

Damian in the best fighter with swords, this is undisputed. Bruce just hopes none of his kids find his crate of custom katanas in the attic, if they do then he’ll say they are for Damian.

Tim is an amazing investigator, so good in fact, that Bruce has trusted him on his hardest cases. Everyone assumes this is because Tim is a better detective then Bruce, but he just loves seeing how proud his kid gets when he gets a breakthrough.

Batman doesn’t kill, Red hood does, everyone in their right minds knows that’s a lie. Before Robin came along, leaders of drug operations or terrorists would disappear into the night, never to be seen again. The only people who don’t seem to know this are the Bats children themselves. Sometimes you can still hear a cut off scream in the dark before the news announces a missing person that everyone just knew was doing something horrible, criminals are more wary on nights that the Bats brood are in. And people running trafficking rings pray that it’s the Hood when a knock sounds, the bat doesn’t give those people the mercy of death.

All of the bat kids know more languages then Bruce, and they keep learning more to throw him off, for a family of detectives they really should have thought about the fact that Bruce traveled the entire world, he knows ancient languages and the words that world in other galaxies use, if he could speak Martian then he would have learned it by now, he still does know that part that he’s able to learn.

Idk I just need more of Bruce being skilled at SO many things while his kids are like “oh yeah Bruce? He’s good but I could defeat him easily” and Bruce just so proud of his babies when they do ANYTHING.

Bonus:

Tim made a plan to neutralize Superman at some point, it wasn’t as good as Bruce’s but he replaced it so fast. When he later uses it to take down mind controlled or something Supes Red Robin is watching.

Nobody notices that Batman whispers something to Superman before he goes deathly pale and acts like the plan is working so well he immediately gets defeated. As for what Batman said to him? It was basically ‘Clark(they aren’t supposed to know identities here btw) my kid made this plan and I swear to every mortal and immortal force that if you don’t take the fall right now you will regret it for the rest of your life” and Batman was usually scary but this was like, God will cower before him terrifying and it scared evil Superman so much he went along with it.

Res Robin was smiling so brightly that later Clark honestly couldn’t be mad at the Bat.

Edit: I forgot to add this but unbeknownst to EVERYONE (including Alfred somehow) Bruce can and will stay awake longer then Tim and his drinks are somehow worse in terms of caffeination. The difference is that on the fourteenth day with no sleep everyone thinks it’s only been three even though he is Vividly hallucinating. The ability to hide his lack of sleep for the first week and a half leads them to believe he’s actually the worst at staying up since on what they think is his fourth day of no sleep (it’s his seventeenth) he’s talking to an apparently very vivid hallucination of Alfred the Cat in a suit and a Tiger named Tawny(he had met the tiger earlier that week) and having a civilized conversation with them

[yastaghr]

DP x DC Idea #1:

In order for a magic user to operate in the Haunt of a ghost from the Infinite Realms, they have to provide a “hostage” item that is as “valuable as the ghost is powerful” according to all the books they have found. This is why the JLD don’t go to Amity Park. They know that nothing is going to equal the power of Amity Park’s ghost.

But now they don’t have a choice, and the entire JLD and JL team are trying to think of something to give the ghost.

Batman has an idea when he sees the wording. They can make more than one offer, but they are worried about insulting the ghost.

When they get there, they can’t see the ghost they are communicating with. Batman reaches into his wallet, and someone starts to scold him for trying to use money. He pulls out the picture he has of all of his kids, a civilian photo, where everyone is laughing and happy. That’s what he offers.

Value is in the eye of the beholder, and what could be more valuable to him than seeing his family like that?

Danny, a kid who maybe hasn’t had a genuinely happy moment with his entire family in a while, accepts it in an instant. The first thing he does once they come into the town is return to visibility.

None of the heroes were expecting the powerful ghost to be a kid.

(yes this is based on the scene in Snuff by Terry Pratchett)

[timdrakeslawyer]

my guilty pleasure is seeing bruce call tim his son, especially to his face! my fav father & son duo ;(

[mylifeingotham]

[mehfsbcf]

Two months into the batfam side of tumblr and from what ive gathered:

Nightwing - OG Robin - Dick Grayson/Greyson

Red Hood - Robin that died (?) - Jason Todd

Red Robin - stalker Robin - Tim Drake

Robin - youngest, moodiest Robin - Damian Wayne (?)

Did I do alright? Where do I start with comics?

[littlefankingdom]

~ Batman: Detective Comics (2016)

I'm living for how Bruce is written in DC 2016. He is a caring father, he has flaws but everyone does, that's normal, and he tries. He listens to others, or at least hears what they are saying. Here, he listens to Tim's plan for Gotham, and he agrees with him (proud dad mode a lot with Tim). He decides to follow Tim's vision, and even after Tim is gone, he wants to continue to realize Tim's vision. When Steph gets mad at him, he doesn't try to fight her, he wants to listen to her and explain himself. He tell people he is worried about them and cares for them, even if they don't believe him. (steph) He wants his people to take care of themselves, and if that means they don't put on the capes for a while, then so be it.

And this scene is so good. It's the passage from a generation to another, the transformation of the Batman's legacy. The mission takes another form. It's Bruce admitting that it's time for his way to die, it has served its time and his purpose. Tim is seeing further away than Bruce because Bruce was blinded by his grief, and his son is showing him the sight over the fog.

[catgrandpa]

Are there any good Arkham!verse dimension hopping fics? I really want Red Hood and Arkham Knight to meet.