#batanna

[morgangalaxy43]

Bruce being poly and bisexual would fix me

[olailamajnoon]

Zatanna had a cold. She had not planned on having a cold. But things have a funny way of working out.

She was sitting next to Batman, in the Javelin. It was fate.

She felt a Big One coming, full of nasal snot and creatures that only lived in nasal snot. So she hid her face behind her hand, and when it was almost there, she...

It wasn't her proudest moment. There were moments that were prouder. She was almost sure of it. But she would have been hard-pressed to enumerate any of them.

She sneezed into Batman's Cape.

Batman turned. His head swiveled towards her like a machine. It was as if time had just stood still. Zatanna shivered.

Then Batman, without a word, took off his cape, and brought it from around himself and wrapped it around Zatanna's shoulders with deliberate considerateness.

"I don't want you to be cold," he explained. His mouth was not as tight as it could have been. The bastard.

Zatanna tried to think of a Good Reason to get rid of the cape. There was a small tic in the corner of Batman's mouth that possibly was an infinitesimal smile of victory.

And Zatanna wondered if, like her, he felt a little warmer. (It wasn't just the stupid cape making her feel warm.)

(She had just stolen his insulation, and he was smiling.)

(Maliciously, but still.)

"I'll go wash this," she said as she stood up. "It's kinda...I don't know where it's been. The kind of places you've been in."

Batman's face was worth filming.

[do-you-ship-this-comic-ship]

[captainscifi22]

[striveattemptfail]

BABY BRUCE SPOTTED!!! 🦇

also "squirt"?? aren't y'all the same age??? 😂😂

bonus: TIL!

bonus 2:

[morgangalaxy43]

Bruce will always fall for women who are either strong and overpowered (Diana, Talia, Zatanna) or criminals and crazier than him (Selina, Harley, Silver)

[sweetcanary8900]

The perfect couple.

got a strange magic✨🦇🎩

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[olailamajnoon]

It was habitual for Batman to make the sort of remark, when he remarked, “Lex Luthor has finally revealed some form of psychosis to match his psychopathy. His break with reality has begun, given his recent alliance with Joker and his more-than-usual grandiose self-presentation.”

Superman was looking more and more nervous/concerned/sad/alert. His expressions for these things were kind of interchangeable, and Zatanna did not know how to tell them apart.

She also did not know boundaries. This was both as a rule and as an exception. She wrinkled up her nose. “What, are you a therapist now too?” 

Batman ignored her, but Zatanna was not easily disheartened. She continued, undaunted by his coldly turning away to give her the cold shoulder. “Bruce, I’m glad you’re not a doctor.”

“I don’t recall asking you what you are and are not glad about,” said Batman testily. 

Zatanna magnanimously swallowed her pride, but Batman saw the glint in her eyes that meant she was going to roast him, beginning now. He internally groaned. 

True to form, Zatanna turned to the League’s table. “Imagine some poor schmuck walks into the office of Doctor Bruce Wayne, psychiatrist extraordinaire. The unsuspecting guy sits down, and then Doctor Bruce begins his work, without the guy having said a thing.” She cleared her face of all expression, and deepened her voice, mimicking Batman’s posture. “So.” Her timbre matched Bruce’s exactly. “How long have you been depressed because your wife died?”

Hal let out an uncharacteristically high-pitched giggle. Oliver was silently shaking. Diana, Clark and Barry wore faces straighter than usual.

Zatanna’s voice inflected to match Bruce’s exactly. “I can deduce everything about you from your poor dress sense and even poorer hygiene.” Doctor Bruce seemed to be speaking to Poor Schmuck in his Batman voice.

Batman had had enough. “Enough,” he said. 

Zatanna had not had enough, so she continued. “Most of Bruce’s patients will probably need to go to other therapists for the additional trauma Bruce leaves them with, along with the trauma they already had.”

“That’s too cruel,” said Barry, but he had broken out into hives of laughter. “That’s not—not—” Barry held up his hands in reconciliation, or maybe surrender. “Sorry,” he said to Bruce, and broke out into another fit, muffling the sound in his hand as if to erase it. He sounded like a pug in a trash can rolling down stairs.

“That would absolutely not happen!” said Diana, in hot defense. “I’m not saying Bruce has the personality of a healer, but—”

“Ofcourse Bruce is—can be—” Clark spluttered. “I—well, he has been—”

“You guys are even worse at defending him than I was at two, denying I ate the jellybeans,” said Hal, who was openly enjoying Zatanna’s remarks with a sadistic pleasure.

“Who eats jellybeans at two,” Clark wondered. 

But Zatanna was not done. She plodded on cheerily. “At psychiatric conferences, Doctor Bruce would brag, ‘You losers take fifty minutes; I take FIFTEEN. And they don’t even come back.’ ” 

Oliver cracked, wheezing and doubling down in laughter. Clark’s mouth was going lopsided. “That would never happen,” he said loyally.

Bruce was silent. “I’ll have you know, Zee,” he said, in a voice heavy with grievance, “that I am a very good listener.” He was peeved. His entire face was frowning somehow.

Zatanna smirked. “That would explain all the girls.”

[jasontoddsguns]

“Batcat!” One man screams. “NO- Brutalia!” A person replies. Suddenly, the whole theater was overwhelmed with the crowd screaming out their favorite Batman ship. “BATANNA” “Superbat for life!” “WHAT ABOUT WONDERBAT!” “BatJokes!, just think about the dynamic-” “Batcanary!!!” “BRUJAY-“ “What the hell Dude-” “Go back to Alabama!” “Don’t acknowledge them- it makes it worst. ANYWAYS- I’m still pissed that no one said Batlane!” “That’s not poggers, BatLantern is tho-” “What about IronBat-“ “How can you ship people from different forms of media?!?” “Whatever, Batquinn is better” “Oh fuck off, Batstantine is the best” “BatLex is the most logical!” “Logical my ASS-”

I step onto the stage and tap the mic. Everyone pauses. “Actually the best Bat ship is Batman/loving-his-kids.”

The room bursts into applause.

[captainscifi22]

[sweetcanary8900]

A couple that would have everything to work out in the comics is Batanna. It's really a shame if DC doesn't invest in it.

After watching their episode on Batman: The Animated Series on The Hub, I’m back to wishing they’d give these two a real shot in canon. It’d be something fresh and new for Bruce’s love life for once. At the very least give Bruce a somewhat uncomplicated love that can help him through his grief with Damien.

And seriously if Zatanna can handle Constantine and all his drama, she can handle Bruce Wayne AND Batman’s crap.

[menewayne]

Zdarsky really got their dynamic right, and having John share memories of Martha and Thomas to Bruce is just 👏.

[dyketectivecomics]

Five Hang-ups (+One Hook-up)

Synop: Early into Bruce and Zatanna’s respective careers, they began a less-than-clandestine relationship. And while ultimately it would prove short-lived, it was by no means insignificant.

Note: Dropping the first chapter on Ao3 before 2020 ends, and (hopefully) will update a chapter a night over there, as I’m still wrapping editing for the last 2! Please keep in mind that the last chapter will include explicit smut, so if that is/isn’t your jam, This Is Your Warning.

[anxiouslowercase]

here, a bruce wayne/zatanna zatara drabble

fandom: dc comics  warnings: none  summary: it’s been a rough couple of days for Batman, which puts Bruce into overworking mode. A bit concerned, his children call in an old friend for help. notes: the accompanying piece to this edit.

"you shouldn't be here." Zatanna looks up and isn't at all surprised to find the man's back turned to her - if she had to bet, she'd say he's been crouched that way for a while now.

"There are many things I shouldn't be, Bruce, but I do enjoy exceeding expectations, give the audience a little something extra." Her smile is the perfect mix of playful and mocking, and she even wiggles her fingers for full effect; she knows somehow he'll be able to tell. "- what's your excuse?"

"My excuse for being in my house?" If she didn't know him any better, she would've sworn she heard the faintest hint of a laugh in his tone. She wishes she could've seen his face.

"Your excuse for hiding in your cave. Which now has a functioning bar - you're welcome." That seems to do the trick, and Bruce finally turns around to face her. Well, her or the outcome of her latest spell, hard to really tell. But hey, she'll take it.

"Zee..." Oh, that sigh. She knows it better than she'd like.

"None of that," She fetches some bottles and places them in front of her. "What's your poison? I promise not to judge." The smile on her face seems to tell a different story, yet once again it's all for show. Which he probably knows, anyways (doesn't he always?)

"I'm working."

"I know - a little birdie told me Batman had taken over lately, that they had barely seen Bruce up around the Manor." Her gaze briefly shifts to his unfazed figure, lips tugging up. "I'll let you guess which bird."

This time is her gaze the one that doesn't leave the glass in which she's pouring some gin, but she's still perfectly able to hear the slow, almost controlled exhale of air that comes from his general direction. He might be able to read her all too well, but the magician prides herself in having made that a two-way street. She can almost feel the pull of the negative windwhirl of emotions on Bruce's chest, so stupidly tightening and repressed that it makes her want to shake him, make him snap out of it. But more than anything it tugs at her own emotions, and she wishes he were closer. But she also knows better than to chase a bat.

"I'm not here to play therapist, Bruce." Her voice retains its teasing quality, but there's a softness in her gaze now that almost slips into it. "You can tell me or not, that's up to you, and I won't judge you on that either." When their eyes finally meet, he was already looking at her. "I'm just here."

[arkhamite]