#autistic personal hygiene

[variousbones]

What do you do with the plaque that comes off your teeth onto the floss?????

PLEASE comment any suggestions bc I’d rather boil alive than wrap wet plaque-covered floss around my fingers, but how I do things now makes it take 5ever so I don’t do it as often as I should and it makes me so anxious because I already have so many tooth problems

[silvermoon424]

Me not wanting to get in the shower: 😕

Me in the shower: 🥰❤️😍

Me getting out of the shower: 😕

[consider-your-potatoes-mashed]

I’ve brushed my teeth at least once a day for two whole weeks!!!!!!!! YAY!!!!

This may not seem like a big deal for a lot of people but I’m really proud of myself for this!

I know to a lot of people, especially abled people (whether physically or mentally abled), the idea of not brushing your teeth regularly is gross or “repulsive” or makes someone disgusting and what not, but I think we need to accept that not everyone can engage in hygiene practices the same way as everyone else. Just because someone cannot brush their teeth, or shower, or brush the their hair daily or even weekly does not make someone less than or gross or less deserving of anything. We are all people and we all deserve the same respect and we all deserve to feel safe in this world. Everyone has different abilities and support needs. Everyone is their own person and can do what they’re able to and should not be forced to do more than they’re able to do safely or comfortably. Someone may choose to do more but they should not be forced to by others.

Disabled people are people and deserve the same respect as everyone else.

My ability to take care of myself changes daily sometimes even throughout a day and I shouldn’t feel like I’m being judged for doing the best I can when it doesn’t match what others think my best should be.

TL;DR: Someone’s ability to engage in hygiene practices should never ever determine their worth!!!!

EDIT: (September 6th, 2023) I am so proud of everyone in the replies/reblogs who struggle with hygiene too! You are all doing so good and you should be proud of what you’re able to do!

[anothersssarchive]

autistic things 22

brushing your teeth is a struggle sensory wise

[musicspirit26]

okay, so i'm well aware that this might make me sound like an incel, but it's something that frustrates me so much as an autistic person and i need to vent about it (i would totally do this with a therapist if i had one btw - but i don't, so i'm making do with what i have)

every single time i develop a huge crush on someone, i feel like 1 of 3 things always happens:

they're already in a happy long term relationship and i don't wanna be the homewrecker

they've just gotten out of a relationship, so i don't wanna be their rebound

they've been single for a while and are either not ready to mingle in general or just wouldn't like me back at all anyways

this pattern will usually go on for a few years, and all the while i will also be doing a lot of personal growth (which makes the comment "you don't need a relationship to be happy" all the more frustrating because my main love language is physical touch, so i need/crave physical affection in ways that simply can't be provided by a family member), so by the time someone else who doesn't quite fit what i'm looking for but i kinda like and who likes me comes along, i will jump on that opportunity really quick because at least someone likes me romantically

and i know those people deserve a lot better than that (and i deserve better than that, too), but i find that i'm usually only in that situation because i want to respect that my actual crushes are unavailable for whatever reason

and yes, i'm aware that a lot of that unavailability comes down to my struggles with social cues and hygiene (which is probably the main reason for the third scenario, on top of the fact that a lot of the women in that category are straight), and that's obviously completely understandable - but i think that's just what makes me feel even more horrible about it, as well as myself

it can be so emotionally debilitating to know that my struggle with these things is exactly what makes it so easy for other people to just write me off altogether, no matter how hard i try to navigate them or self-police how i come across. for that reason, it's extremely difficult not to get frustrated at how hard it is to find a partner who loves me just as deeply as i love them, or handle even a gentle/friendly rejection as just that and to not take it personally.

of course, the other side of that coin is that i feel like any big crushes i have in the three scenarios i mentioned above are also miles out of my league anyway, so working up the courage to confess my feelings in the first place feels almost impossible because of that.

idk y'all, i just wanna find a woman who i can love who loves me and who i can express that love in physical ways with

ugh why is dating so hard 😩😩😩

[i-may-be-an-emu]

Im neurodivegent and I have a difficult relationship with hygiene.

I hate the feeling of my clothes after they've been washed, so I keep them from being washed for as long as possible.

I often wear the same clothes days on end, even for weeks at a time.

Showers are hard because of time management, executive dysfunction and dysphoria. As well as depression just straight up making me not want to.

Brushing my teeth is hard to remember to do and I often go days without brushing my teeth.

Cleaning my living area is also difficult for me to do and i often end up in pikes of unfinished cleaning and dust and weird smells.

Because of all this I feel insecure about my looks and impression on people, and it doesn't help I've been made fun of for it all my life.

I try to do better, but it's hard. And it makes me feel lazy and stupid. It's really hard for me to talk about this for fear of being judged and stuff. Anyway.

[frilledshark-enthusiast]

one of the most crushing experiences of my life was finally finding someone who I thought got neurodiversity and would talk about how they were autistic (when the conversation called for it) and then seeing their face screw up in disgust at my mention of having g a hard time with dental hygiene. And then watching that same person bully another kid with autistic traits that I also have behind his back like it was nothing.

I that was the first time shared my struggles with brushing my teeth with anyone but them irl even though I now have actual autistic friends that get all of my symptoms I probably never will again.

[if-im-being-honest]

If you struggle to shower regularly for whatever reason try getting yourself some bath wipes they're mainly targeted at the elderly but I imagine they work on everyone. If your really struggling for money you could get them on age UK for £1.00 I don't know about outside the UK but feel free to add to this if there's something

[zebulontheplanet]

Anyways.

Higher support needs disabled people needing help with things like eating, going to the bathroom, and showering isn’t gross or babyish.

It isn’t gross to have help showering, or using the bathroom, or any other bADL. Disabled people deserve not to be called gross for needing help with hygiene and things. Disabled people deserve to be seen as people if they need help with these things.

I’m a disabled person who needs help with showering, grooming, and sometimes eating (yes, physically getting the food from the fork to my mouth) and that doesn’t make me gross. That doesn’t make me babyish. That makes me a higher support needs adult. That makes me someone who needs help. Stop saying that these things are gross to need help with, or telling people that “you’re grown, you should be able to do this”. That isn’t helping anyone.

Especially with the autistic community constantly screaming about how we don’t need help with these things, when a lot of us do. A lot of us do need substantial help with bathing, grooming, and toileting. Some of us do need substantial help with all these things, and people need to realize that.

[esters-notepad]

I, too, need a routine or I'll forget. I'll notice if I have something sticky on my hands, or if I haven't washed my hair for two weeks, but not really anything below that. So I've gradually made myself a schedule. Most hygiene things run on autopilot by now. My impression is that most people aren't like that. I figure it's a quirk of my personality.

okay wait. is this an autistic experience or a normal one. /gen

I struggle with personal hygiene, like... idk I've never been taught it? or if I was I didn't understand it? I just realised just now that I haven't showered or changed my clothes in an embarrassingly long time, because I forgot. last time I was on placement I was asked about hygiene and I cited depression, but... that's not the reason, not really? I just forget? unless I have a pattern, like if I shower right after I get up every single morning, or directly after going for a bike ride, or something, I'm often going to end up getting to the end of the day and realising I just Haven't. same with regularly washing my hands, all the things. and I genuinely don't know if this is autistic things and worth potentially looking into further support for, or that everyone is like this and most people have just learned to deal with it, you know? would love some insight

[syoddeye]

cozy fic recs 🍁🎃

it's been 84 years since i've compiled a rec list, but with cooler weather incoming, here are some fics/drabbles/concepts to settle in and cozy up with. want something scarier? check the spooky list.

i plan to update this list until 2024/11/30.

as usual:

beyond the cut, you are responsible for reading tags, warnings, and summaries. some fics are in progress, so keep in mind that warnings and tags may change.

organized by pairing if applicable.

i've checked all the links, but if they're broken, i blame tumblr. i've included enough info to find the fic if need be.

do not harass authors. i will find you.

price x reader

Invisible Red Line by @mikichko | transmasc!Reader

I Wonder How Many Days I'll Bled by thethingsthatimake | f!Reader

Already Spoken For by @stellewriites | trans!Price x f!Reader

Price Dressing You Up by @tojisun | f!Reader

The Prowl by @cordeliawhohung | f!Price

Ursa Major by @the-californicationist | f!Reader

Price and Your Terrible Family by @391780 | f!Reader

Hygiene Care with Price by @secretsynthetic | Reader

Fall from Grace by @tropes-and-tales | f!Reader

Not What Was Sought by @dozeydaisy

ghost x reader

Transferrable Skills by @dragonnarrative-writes | f!Reader

Autistic Burnout by @dutiful-wildcraft | m!OC Darren "Thumper" Martin

Mail Order Bride by @bi-writes | f!Reader

Through Me (The Flood) by @peachesofteal | f!Reader

Snowblind by @sprout-fics | f!OC Fix

Star of the Show by @inkbybambi | f!Reader

Synthetic by @pricegouge | transmasc!Reader

A Reminder by @waiting-so-long | f!Reader

Landslide by @knightjpg | f!Reader

gaz x reader

The Five Year Plan by @wraithdance | f!Reader

Blackbird, Fly by @eowynstwin | f!Reader

Piccadilly Circus by @/391780 | f!Reader

Attentive by @/391780 | f!Reader

Picture Day by @kyletogaz | f!Reader

The Uni Verse by @/kyletogaz | f!Reader

Hit Me With Your Best Shot by @sentientcave | f!OC Rory

Spoiling Kyle @/buttdumplin | transmasc!Reader

A Ride Home @/buttdumplin | Reader

No Hard Feelings by @groguspicklejar | f!Reader

Boyfriend Material by @/groguspicklejar | f!Reader

You're an Angel, I'm a Dog by @cordeliawhohung | f!Reader

Suck it and See by @pfhwrittes | transmasc!Reader

Delete Tinder by @/pricegouge | f!Reader

soap x reader

cowboy!Soap by @ghouljams | f!Reader

Personal Training by @spurbleu | f!Reader

(hunka hunka) burnin' love by @/pfhwrittes | f!Reader

paciencia y fe by @/mikichko | gn!Reader

141 x reader

Cherry Bomb by @swordsandholly | f!Reader

Pierced Ears by @buttdumplin | gn!Reader

The 141 Oiling Your Hair by @femalefemur | Reader

No Binder by @/pfhwrittes | transmasc!Reader

After The End by @waves-against-a-cliff | Reader

other pairings

Across the Way by @/swordsandholly | Ghoap x f!Reader

Chao Mi Niño by @/mikichko | Ghoap x Reader

Laird MacTavish by @auspicioustidings | Poly 141

Call of the Jurassic by @stuffireadandenjoy. | Ghoap, but also the 141 vs. dinosaurs!

The Wellyboot Incident Follow-Up by @pricegouge | PriceGaz x Reader

Get Her a Dog (She'll be Happier for It) by @/pricegouge | PriceSoap x f!Reader

Laswell's Little Assistant by @waves-against-a-cliff | Laswell x f!Reader

Aro!Ghost/Price/Reader by @secretsynthetic | Ghost/Price/Reader

Service Dog Johnny by @void-my-warranty | Ghoap x f!Reader

Asexual Reader by @sigh-tofm | 141 HCs

Branding (Kinktober) by @dragonnarrative-writes | Price x Ghost

general

Righteous Fury by @gemmahale

Citations Needed by @/pfhwrittes

The Daemon AU by @/pfhwrittes

Simon and That Mean Cat by @/stuffireadandenjoy

Driving Headcanons by @kaadaaan

Sunday Dinner Headcanons by @/kaadaaan

beautifall, feeling pretty gourd about this list 🍂 banner by @/cafekitsune

[sillylandmagic]

Everyone is all about supporting autistic folks until they do things that are ‘gross’ or unhygienic.

For example, I spit when I talk because It’s hard to control my saliva. I also am prone to drooling.

I couldn’t dry myself off effectively until I was over 13 years old. I don’t wash my body frequently other than my privates sometimes because of deficits in motor skills and just the inability to effectively do it each time.

I can only slightly scrub my hair with shampoo but it’s dirty after a day because i can’t wash it efficiently. I go days without washing my hair.

I can’t shave or trim any body hair, I can’t remember to use deodorant. I don’t brush my teeth for over a week because no one tells me to and I can’t reliably do it without support.

I’ve never been able to wipe enough after using the bathroom usually leading to wet spots in my underwear. I’ve had UTIs because I can’t realize that my bladder is full. It’s slightly better now but I remember a year ago I held everything in so long that I dribbled some in my underwear because I didn’t go to the bathroom until last second. This happened frequently at home and school. And I would be too embarrassed and didn’t change.

It’s not gross or nasty that certain autistics need substantial support for things like hygiene, toileting, and grooming. Or don’t have support and are left dirty because they can’t do it themselves. You’re not any less human or a person for dealing with these things. I love you/platonic 🫂

[boimgfrog]

it's always "autism acceptance" until the autistic person is weird, or fat, or a man, or has poor hygiene, or a POC, or makes unfunny jokes, or isn't a cute feminine gay, or is actually bad at communicating, or needs to have things explained to them, or is too loud, or too quiet, or needs to be told something multiple times to understand it, or has mannerisms that make people stare at them, or, or, or, etc. if you would show patience to the cute autistic girl who collects plushies and stims by flapping her hands then you MUST show equal patience to the large autistic boy who stims by humming or hitting his head and worms underwater welding into every conversation. I am no longer asking. your acceptance cannot begin and end with people you deem palatable.

[jadathel0ser]

Lets talk about the not so pleasant parts of Autism

This post is not to say that aren't good things about being autistic or that every autistic will have my experience. Let's just not forget that this is a disability that needs to be taken seriously no matter the person. Any autistic person is welcome to add on the the list.

I'll start with my struggles:

Violent meltdowns

Public meltdowns

VERY poor hygiene the the point of needing teeth removed and hair loss

Constant loneliness and felling depressed from it

Co-occuring conditions like personality disorders, ptsd, depression, psychosis, etc

Mourning the childhood and friends you never had

Blatant bullying

Feeling like you will never make your family proud

Rejected by family, society, medical system, literally everyone

Being taken advantage of (including SA)

Constantly putting yourself in danger

EDs and malnourishment from dietary habits

Knowing that others are purposely leaving you out

Being called homeless and other names for stimming and wearing comfy attire

Sensory issues make you feel like your skin wants to remove itself

Sensory issues making you miss important or fun events

Knowing that you may never be independent

Being belittled

Self injurious stims and low self esteem from it

Embarrassment 101

No privacy

Constant painful state of confusion

Being mocked for how you communicate

Fear of being judged for alternative forms of communication

Needing assistance to just maintain a healthy shower schedule

Having to follow very specific routines to the point of possibly putting yourself in danger if you don't follow them

...and these are just some things. This is the not so pleasant part of what I go through on a daily basis as an autistic. This list can go on forever because autism comes in many "shapes and sizes". Any autistics of any level, if you want, please add on to this list to show that autistic isn't a quirk and can have some seriously hard to live with sides.

[elisabethdeep-blog]

Gotta make a post about my best DunMeshi neurospicy boi

Lotta content out there about Laios' autistic traits but where o where is the Senshi rep?

Senshi's dedication to Dungeon trophic systems makes Laios' special interest look like a well-thumbed pamphlet. (Granted Senshi has had significantly longer to cook; Laios is a baby).

Senshi's limited emoting is baked-in to his character model- that thousand yard stare, most of his face occluded by his habitual helmet (masked, even...... How many folks pine for covid masks obviating the need to manage their faces constantly?)

He overheard someone mention his special interest and Walked Right Up to a Group of Strangers to brazenly asplain them a thing. Marcille makes a bridge-mending bid regarding the mosses in the scorpion hotpot (after her previous truculent outbursts) and he totally deadpans her, because he didn't even notice.

He is VERY COMMITED to his ethical position on dungeon ecology. More than once he's disrupted Marcille Right at the point of release of a spell, after she's been chanting for like a paragraph, because she's going to contravene some principle of his.

Also

Speaking of Marcille, he demonstrates some pretty rigid, black-and-white thinking around magic, that doesn't seem internally consistent. He's repeatedly reanimating magical constructs (golems), an explicitly controlled magical act, but is Very Very reluctant to submit to being charmed with WaterWalk; his spoken reasoning about this just doesn't hold water.

Oh and he's totally neglected his personal hygiene for basically ever. He's averse to cleaning up for the sake of being bespelled, but other than magic, seems fine with getting the salon treatment. This isn't a Toph Beifong 'protective layer of earth', he's just forgotten to care about not being covered with monster gore.

PDA? The fellow has one (1) social skill, namely, he exercises any discretion on opening his mouth to argue. But that holds him back exactly NONE when he decides he's done listening. The first time we see this is gathering Mandrakes, when he doesn't SAY he's done with Marcille's opinions, but he Does just go ahead and exercise his damn autonomy. a MUCH stronger example is when Chilchuck is guiding them through the trap rooms. Senshi gets roundly (and rightly!) chewed out by Chilchuck, and his response isn't the sensible 'sorry Chilchuck, maybe I could walk more directly behind you so I can more closely match your steps', but to BRAZENLY DANCE ALL OVER THE TRAP FLOOR! the only reason that doesn't kill the whole party is The Plot. It's not even that he doesn't appreciate Chilchuck's skill- he just don't like getting chastised! Same with Anne the Kelpie! Senshi's gonna do what Senshi's gonna do! He WILL not be rushed, he WILL not be chastised, he WILL not be directed! How do we think he came to be living in a dungeon all by himself in the first place!!

AND THE BREAD!

THIS IS NOT THE DEMAND OF A NEUROTYPICAL DWARF

Look there's more. After Chilchuck's impassioned and heartfelt plea, Senshi suggests they should return to the surface because they're 'low on seasoning'.

He's a dwarf who turned his adamantium shield into a cookpot.

He can meticulously maintain his mithril cooking knife but not his axe.

He responds well to other characters meeting him halfway but initiates few (no?) such bids himself. There's rarely any guile in Senshi, and when he is being shifty, he's Bad At It- and again, usually its in service of demand avoidance, like when he capitalises on Marcille's toilet break to reanimate his golems.

Senshi is the monomaniac that society has spent Decades trying to iron out of my wrinkly brain.

I hope to see him also find a place in the neurosparkly constellations.

[shepfax]

as things start gearing up for Autism Acceptance Month I am going to make an effort to share stuff from nonverbal, high support needs, and other words for "severely" autistic people (especially from marginalized groups like autistic people of color) and I think others should too. I chose to do this because I am very deeply opposed to the way low support people have gone about destigmatizing autism.

me, I am the epitome of the white "geeky" autistic that I read about in books from specialists and historians: I had no speech delay, I'm capable of many self-maintenance tasks like hygiene and food, but I still am not independent and I struggle greatly with social situations, show repetitive behavior, and have sensory integration problems.

by making it seem like autism is just a label for quirky people that get really into tv shows, prefer small silverware, and fidget sometimes, you've come all the way back around to encouraging ignorance. you've started to push people with more disabling autistic traits into the background of your activism or even tried to pretend your activism doesn't apply to them.

obviously it's important to acknowledge and share the ways that autistic people who can speak and maintain independence still struggle immensely in a neurotypical world, because that is something the vast majority of people still don't understand. but we need to do better at emphasizing the ways people's autism affects their lives, and advocating for the rights of people with different needs than our own.

this might seem harsh to say but it really seems like some of you are ashamed to be associated with people from different parts of the autism spectrum than you. why claim the label then?

when you see someone talk about an experience you didn't have, always make an effort to learn something from it.

come together with people from all points on the autism spectrum. make friends with them and listen to their voice, whether it's spoken or not.

it is called neurodiversity for a reason. our brains are extremely diverse, and that's why it's important to make sure you are not your only source.

if you look at one person on the spectrum, even if that person is you, that is one autistic person, and you can't make claims about autism based on that person alone.