#autistic kid who can’t talk in public

[okcoolthanks]

Someone kill me before I start wanting to text my childhood friend

[fantasy-frog]

To anybody who might see this, July in the states is disability pride month. As someone who’s past decade plus has been a journey towards understanding, accepting, and advocating for my psychological and physical disabilities and my whole life, aiding disabled family members, I want make it known that: the way many of us feel you can help us the most, is not by “pretending” we’re abled, like we’re just like everyone else, because we’re *not*

When disabilities are ignored, or treated as just “uniquely abled”, it falls on the disabled to maintain abled people’s comfort; to make our disabilities small, to not advocate for equity and the bettering of our lives in a supposedly equal society.

Equality is not equity.

Differences must be acknowledged, understood, and worked around *by abled people* for any true progress to be made.

Most people think this is government related. I know abled people as individuals can’t change that there’s little to no wheel chair access in their bustling city, that the sidewalks are cracked and filled with lips. An abled person can’t make public schools treat autistic kids with humanity, or children with memory-relates disabilities able to always have notes for their exams. They can’t make the employers stop firing us, or the government give us our right to marriage when living under SSI.

What I’m asking for is Empathy. True empathy. The kind that informs your beliefs, and actions. Talk to disabled people. Get to know them. I promise you, you have a disabled person in your family or social circle. Really be inquisitive about their experiences, struggles, and frustrations.

Acknowledge your privilege. Your ease of access to the world. Really sit in it. Absorb it. Your empathy will only grow. And when enough abled people do even just this, the world for us becomes less hostile. It becomes more livable. We become no longer burdens, but cherished by our communities, our families and friends. And trust me, even though the world is not built for me, and I have to consistently jump through 10,000 hoops to achieve even the smallest of victories for an abled person, and my body hurts and breaks down, so I get in a chair on wheels, or get out my cane, or put on my noise cancelling headphones, and just come across obstacle after obstacle -

The majority of the pain comes from the stares. The glances. The questioning. The points when you see the patience leave the eyes of the one who you thought loved you unconditionally, and you remember your place in our collective culture. And fuck man. You recall how workable all the bureaucracy and hurdles felt, how manageable it was to push forward (it’s what you always do) … before you were reminded of where you sit on the totem poll, and how conditional worth is in our society.

Disabled people are worthy. We are valuable. But we need you to believe it, or nothing will ever change.

[laikabu]

Hi! I just uploaded the first two chapters of my labru baby fic 😭 I’m sorry I took so long!! Thank you for letting me write about your characters. I hope I did them justice. Also, my friend said you tweeted about my other fic! My twitter isn’t public, so I couldn’t respond, but thank you 🥰 https://archiveofourown.org/works/57795706/chapters/147102496

oh my god… its you! i really liked your other two fics so i’m really happy you wrote this so thank you omg. it has everything… very good kabru inner thoughts… kabru and marcille tension… falin very clearly being the kids’ favorite… mithrun epic divorce guy… kabru slipping back into formal speech as a defense response… old man sappy autistic sex…

anyway, my thoughts in case people want to read it and dont want to be spoiled, it’s quite long LOL

this was such a nice read!!! i was always curious how people would characterize my fankids n you did it really well!! pumori being fussy toddler and makalu going through his rebellious phase… kabru being worried he’s turning into milsiril with how he’s harsh on his son… also kabru being nosy… pumori calling her older brother lu…

i also loved how you characterized laios in this, he’s always so intuitive of caring for those he loves when he’s aware something is wrong, coaxing it out of kabru in his own weird way to figure out how he could help…

makalu being fascinated with death is a really interesting angle. he was born in a former dungeon where death was forbidden. he’s fascinated with monsters and lives with a father who loved monsters but repelled them and another father who wanted nothing to do with them, relieved that he brought children into this world safe from ever encountering them… not ever expecting that one of his kids will grow up to actively want to see monsters

i really like the part where makalu and his friends were bothering mithrun, because he would totally do that. i haven’t put it into text yet but i always imagined him admiring mithrun because pattadol(who he liked to bother because he was fascinated by her fairy) hyped him up, meanwhile mithrun just found him a little annoying. i also really liked that you pointed out his dry sense of humor, because he does have that in canon and i don’t see a lot of people play around with it

i can’t wait to find out what falin and makalu talked about! and what spell he was learning… ahhh

[justyourtypicalwriter]

I just saw the post SERVICE DOGS HCS PLEASEEE !!!

HERE WE GO GANG! These are the one's I have so far! Feel free to suggest recs for any characters or disabilities y'all wanna see! (feel free to rec it even if it's for a character on the list)

STAN:

Service Dog: Brown Newfoundland, Delta (F)

Psychiatric Alert & Response Dog

Disabilitie(s): Major Depressive Disorder (MDD), Minor Psychosis 

The hair dye oh my god. He can rarely drag himself out of bed during depressive episodes but occasionally he’ll get a random burst of impulsivity and re-dye his hair. Most of the time he does the same shitty job at bleaching it blonde

“DARLING! GUESS WHO’S BACK FROM THE PSYCH WARD” vibes

Sharon and Randy officially divorced when he was fifteen. He got a little better now that there isn’t constant screaming or the threat of a drunk or high Randy doing something stupid

Don’t get me wrong, he’s still a total mess-

Patched his relationship with Shelly

Misdiagnosis club AND public breakdown club

God his entire aura just radiates LOSER energy but he’s somehow insanely popular

Not cousins with Craig & Red in this AU but their parents are insanely close so they hang out a lot

CRAIG:

Service Dog: Irish Setter, Saturn (M)

Medical Alert & Response Dog

Disabilitie(s): Epilepsy

Lowkey autistic but Saturn isn’t task trained for anything related to that

Goes non-verbal at times but it’s pretty spontaneous. Most people outside his group can’t tell if he’s actually non-verbal or just not talking to fuck with everyone

Peru drama was secretly worked out when they were twelve. Craig was hospitalized for a while when they were running tests to get a diagnosis, it was roughly a month long stay. He told Stan he’d call it even if Stan looked after Stripe until he was out. Tweek was away for the summer and he knew Stan wouldn’t let anything happen to her since he’s a massive animal lover

Gotta maintain the bitch personality 

TWEEK:

Service Dog: Doberman, Latte (M)

Psychiatric Alert & Response Dog

Disabilitie(s): Chronic Anxiety,

“Ah fuck, the magic school bus is waiting outside to take me back to rehab-”

I kid you not, he was absolutely terrified of Latte when he first got him

Which is funny because Latte is the sweetest goddamn thing, not at all like Fable whose a fucking demon shit

CPS was called on his parents right before senior year

Placed with the Broflovski’s so he and Kyle got closer

Public breakdown club

BUTTERS:

Service Dog: Boxer, Haven (F)

Psychiatric Alert & Response Dog

Disabilities: Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), Depression

Public breakdown club (IN DEVELOPMENT)

KYLE:

Service Dog: Black Giant Schnauzer, Noble (M)

Medical & Psychiatric Alert & Response Dog

Disabilities: Diabetes, Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome (POTS), Avoidant Restrictive Food Intake Disorder (ARFID)[This one might be switched]

Tubie Kyle (I fucking LOVE this one)

For once I give Kyle an ED that doesn’t stem from body image issues

Humancentipad trauma bc I love being problematic about the episode

DESPISES his lows because it means he has to eat something

Also goes non-verbal but only during times of high stress

Noble is a program dog. Kyle got him when he was 14 and initially he was so against it. He wants to function independently but he really fucking can’t. As he grows older he learns to accept the help more

HATES mirrors. The Humancentipad incident left him with scars

Public breakdown club

KENNY:

Service Dog: Anatolian Shepherd Dog, Harbor (M)

Medical Response & Mobility Aid Dog

Disabilities: Muscular Dystrophy, Chronic Pain

Regularly hospitalized, fucking dies, and revives the next day

DUMPSTER DOG<3333

He trained Harbor mostly by himself (Wendy, Tolkien, and Kyle pitched in a bit and bought him books on training techniques)

MOM FRIEND! Bro I just love making Kenny one of the parental figures of the group. He’s just got a bag of shit he carries around for both himself and everyone else. Stan forgot to swap his bandages? Boom, Kenny’s got new ones. Kyle’s sugar is low? Boom, he’s got whatever little snack the boy is able to tolerate. Someone needs a distraction? Medical episode causes them to need a vomit bag? Boom, done. Mom friend Kenny

So fucking ADHD

JIMMY:

Service Dog: Grey Great Dane, Kitty (F)

Mobility Aid Dog (IN DEVELOPMENT)

TOLKIEN:

Service Dog: Papillon, Jax (M) (IN DEVELOPMENT)

WENDY:

Service Dog: Black German Shepherd, Nike (F)

Psychiatric Alert & Response

Disabilities: Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) (IN DEVELOPMENT)

CLYDE:

Service Dog: Husky, Fable (F) (IN DEVELOPMENT)

BEBE:

Service Dog: Golden Retriever, Bucky (M)

Medical Alert & Response Dog

Disabilities: Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome (POTS)

Misdiagnosis club

Went to multiple doctors from 13-15 who all told her it was all in her head

And she’s just sitting there like “bitch please, the only thing in my head is my girlfriend and how hot she is. Now tell me why I keep experiencing these symptoms-”

HEIDI:

Service Dog: Chocolate Labrador, Isa (F)

Psychiatric Alert & Response Dog

Disabilities: Autism Spectrum Disorder

Public breakdown club (IN DEVELOPMENT)

[cal-daisies-and-briars]

I have a need to see everyone who has wronged Ravi, groveling for forgiveness.

📚📚📚📚📚📚📚📚📚📚📚📚

🦮🦮🦮🦮🦮🦮

🔮🔮🔮🔮🔮🔮

AH THANKS! Yeah Ravi deserves better!

36 for 📚:

---

If people are predictable, and some things never change, he’s glad that they are the way that they are.

Ravi waits until Anil is completely out of sight before climbing the stairs to return to the team. He hardly makes it halfway up before the alarm blares. 

In truth, Ravi is grateful for it. It’s a perfect time to be reminded of what he does and who he is. No matter what crap his brother spews, he can never take that from him. 

📖📖📖

On the way back from a pretty simple kitchen fire in a college dorm, Ravi makes a move that feels equal parts strategic and emotional. It’s sad, really, that he has come to a point of evaluating his decisions this way. But it’s a necessary survival skill. 

With enough distance from Anil leaving, Ravi thinks it’s a good idea.

He pulls out his phone, opens up a WhatsApp group chat, and messages his parents. 

Anil stopped by the station today. Mentioned the show. Just wanted to thank you both for being mindful of my privacy. I really appreciate it. 🩵

His mother’s response reaches him before they even make it back to the station. 

Of course! Your business doesn’t belong on Hulu or wherever that silly show is being aired. We love you, Ravi ❤️❤️

Ravi smiles and pockets his phone. Things feel decidedly hopeful, despite the day starting with stinking soft serve and his brother outing his medical history. Who would’ve thought? 

When they get back to the station, Bobby pulls him aside. 

“Can I speak with you in my office, Ravi?” He asks. 

“Sure, Cap,” Ravi nods, good feeling dissipating. 

Maybe Bobby is mad he didn’t disclose being autistic. Maybe Ravi is violating some department policy he didn’t know about. Maybe Bobby is mad Ravi brought personal shit into the workplace. Either way, he respects the hell out of Bobby, and kind of hates the idea he has somehow disappointed him. 

Bobby clears that up pretty quickly. 

“Listen, kid. I know today has been stressful and I don’t want to add to it. But I think we should talk about what happened.”

Ravi nods. “Yeah, of course.”

---

18 for 🦮:

---

After they eat, Buck takes off Cranberry’s vest and lets her travel from person to person, getting scratches and praise. She takes to the attention like a proper diva, and the fire station is her adoring public. Bobby, especially, seems like he’s dying to spoil her. It makes Buck feel a small warmth in his stomach. 

Aside from Bobby, Cranberry seems determined to stick close to Eddie. She wiggles into his legs, rests her head on his legs the same way she does with Buck, and pushes her nose under his hands. Even when he tries to focus on a conversation apart from her, she finds a way to suck him back in. 

“Your dog has a crush, Buck,” Hen teases. 

“Just like her handler, getting all goofy for Eddie when they first meet, huh?” Chim adds. 

“No idea what you mean,” Buck lies. 

Buck might have to murder him. 

He was not goofy when Eddie started. 

“I was told you’re just like a golden retriever,” Eddie smiles, tickling the underside of Cranberry’s jaw. Cranberry’s eyes are half shut, blissed out.  Buck laughs good naturedly, but the thought makes him sort of sad. People did say that about him. But he doesn’t think it’s true anymore.

---

18 for 🔮:

---

“I think… I think maybe I should go.”

No. No, no, no. Bobby can’t let it end like this. Not again. There has to be a way to save it.

“We just sat down to eat,” Bobby points out.

“I’m sorry,” Buck mumbles. “Uh, I-I just think I need some space.”

Space? Bobby hardly sees him anymore. What more space does he need? 

“Buck, don’t.” Bobby pleads as Buck rises from his seat.

“Just, I… I thought…” Buck exhales heavily. “It doesn’t matter. I just need some time.”

[my-autism-adhd-blog]

is it ok for me to hate being autistic, even though i have low support needs? sorry, long rant ahead! i’ve got a lot on my mind

so im a teen who was diagnosed with autism only last year, so im still kinda new to this. over time i realized that i really hate a lot of my audhd traits. i feel like i can’t complain tho, cause i’m getting help for my issues, but i still hate that they’re there in the first place. i hate how i can’t learn in school, because i get so easily overstimulated or unfocused and because of that i have to spend time in the guidance, and i love my counsellor don’t get me wrong, but i wish that i didn’t need to recharge after only 4 hours of school. i wish i could be like my peers who can keep going for the whole day, they don’t miss important discussions, they don’t miss spending time with their friends. i wish i could spend time with my family without at some point hating their voices and thinking of ripping my baby sister’s throat out which i know is bad, and i hate that my brain goes to those thoughts so easily. and nobody around me even understands, they call people autistic as an insult and my friends don’t see why my autism is such a big deal to me but it is. it’s something that’s made my whole life worse. i hate that when i was a kid, i would get meltdowns so easily that my parents would shout at me in public, my peers would laugh at me, and my friends would only stay with me out of pity when really they were talking shit about me behind my back. i just wish i wasn’t autistic. and i hate that i just have to deal with it, because frankly even with my school being farther ahead than most in accommodations it still doesn’t feel like enough. idk, i just wish things was easier.

Hi there,

I’m so sorry you’re dealing with this. But I can’t dictate what you feel and why you should feel it. I think it’s somewhat normal for self hatred, but I could be totally wrong.

Maybe my followers can provide insights on this, surely some have gone, or are going through a similar situation.

I’m sorry I couldn’t answer your question. But I appreciate the inbox. I hope you have a wonderful day/night. ♥️

[seeker-of-stories19]

Autistic Jaime Reyes Headcannons

(Warning for descriptions of autistic meltdown)

- Bonding with Khaji makes his sensory issues so much worse at first but eventually they work it out and Khaji learns that enhancing his senses doesn’t actually keep him safer because he gets so overwhelmed he pays less attention to his surroundings and not more

- Jaime realizes that Khaji can manipulate his sensory experience, they can’t completely stop him from having a meltdown (or more accurately they won’t because cutting off sensory information completely leaves him vulnerable) but they start tuning out background noises when they feel it’s safe

- It won’t stop him from having meltdowns completely but it makes it so he can usually hold it together until he gets home or somewhere safe

- Takes a lot of stress off of him about how people perceive him as an autistic Latino male and the danger that comes with that

- There’s definitely a few instances where Jaime does get negative attention and it is a fight to keep Khaji from transforming him because that’s not going to make some racist ableist asshole feel less threatened by him

- Misses being in Gotham where he could stim way more and people didn’t care, everyone was so desensitized to craziness that anything short of an imminent threat to there lives was unremarkable

- He could flap his hands, mumble, bounce etc. without anyone even glancing up

- Sometimes he forgets how different Palmera is and does something that brings a lot of attention to them which always makes Milagro tease him intensely, only to turn on anyone else who so much as looks at him wrong

- Everyone thinks Jaime is the only autistic one in the family but whenever anyone says it he just stares at Rudy pointedly

- He’s so obviously autistic but completely clueless

- Secretly though Jaime is grateful because he thinks his dad knew how to help him as a kid because he grew up with Rudy

- Got diagnosed in seventh or eight grade when he had a really good teacher who stuck out the whole public school process with his family because everyone else dismissed them

- It probably saved his life in high school to know he wasn’t losing his mind even though it legitimately felt like it

- Does decent in professional interactions and with adults but cannot for the life of him make friends, the only people he knows at school are through Milagro or kids he knew growing up

- Isn’t very interested in kids his age anyway because he doesn’t relate to them and even when he likes someone he’s not good at pursuing a friendship

- Doesn’t have much of a social life but gets perfect grades and has a job to save money for college

- Is definitely really lonely but struggles to sustain relationships even though he wants friends

- Milagro, Rudy, and his dad are his best and only friends which makes losing him even harder because he’s so close to his family

- College is a real game changer for him though, he’s still awkward but he can find a lot more people who want to talk about his interests and generally more people who are accepting or even just used to weirdness because again, Gotham

- He has more casual friends and goes out from time to time which makes his family really happy but a part of him is always a little lonely

- Being bonded to Khaji is absolutely remarkable because for the first time someone understands him without him even needing to explain things

- And Jenny is also an anomaly, she’s the first one outside of his family who he really bonds with deeply, at least outside of symbiotic relationships with alien tech

- She’s neurodivergent as well and they balance each other out really well, Jenny helps Jaime get out more because she’s very social but naturally communicates in a way that makes sense to him and helps include him in social situations

- Khaji will sometimes use the suit as sort of a weighted vest to apply firm pressure to his body, there are times it’s too overstimulating during a meltdown but sometimes it really helps him

- The first time he has a meltdown after fully bonding with Khaji is after getting back to Jenny’s dads house with his family, Khaji can feel something is really wrong with him and is freaking out a bit about not being able to put a name to it when Jaime collapses in the shower crying, rocking, and pulling his hair

- Khaji absolutely looses their shit but when they try and control Jaime and make him stop it only increases his distress and after he gets so panicked and overwhelmed he throws up Khaji stops trying to interfere even when he slams the heels of his hands into his head

- When he finally cries himself out he stays curled up at the bottom of the shower until Rudy comes to bring him clothes

- He seems to understand what happened and gets Jaime dried off and into cleanish clothes, tucking him into bed

- Jaime’s thoughts are so jumbled even Khaji can’t make sense of them and he passes out pretty quick and sleeps twelve hours only to not get out of bed the next day, scrolling through Instagram and barely communicating with Khaji for two days while his family brings him meals and he barely moves

- But the time he’s feeling more normal Khaji is losing their shit and he ends up having to explain the technicalities of autism which goes better than any other time he’s had to explain it because Khaji could feel everything already and just didn’t have the technical understanding to support him

- It’s still rough to find a balance between them of handling Jaime’s challenges, sometimes Khaji accidentally makes it worse by interfering too much but they learn how to manage things together

- When he’s overstimulated and he needs complete silence he flies to space until he’s grounded enough to come home

- He wasn’t a runner as a kid but his parents would turn around and he’d be in a tree or on a roof

- Would literally climb anything in his sight, even at University he snuck into the roof with a weighted blanket, headphones, and comics whenever he needed a moment

- He’s a major nerd, a lot of his special interests are anime and video games, and of course justice and law

- Even being aware of the injustice in the world and having faced it his whole life as a disabled immigrant he still believes in people and he can get really down when he can’t help everyone both through his job and being a superhero

- He never had a lot of vocal stims as a kid but since bonding with Khaji he’s constantly making clicking and humming noises

- It drives Milagro crazy but Rudy thinks it’s cool

- It takes a year or two before he goes back to school and when he does he stays in Palmera city this time to be close to his family and be able to watch the city

- He graduates with honors and his family is actually able to come this time

- Was incredibly obsessive about his schoolwork and is no better with his actual job once he finds one

- He won’t except a job from Jenny at Kord Industries but he regularly helps her out with looking over legal stuff and sometimes gets in way too deep

- He can’t ever leave anything unfinished and it drives Khaji crazy

- Khaji spends more time combatting Jaime’s interoception issues than protecting him from supervillains, they’re constantly reminding to eat, drink, sleep, and go to the bathroom

- His eyes will flicker yellow as he starts getting overwhelmed and turn gold before having a meltdown which helps his family try and get him somewhere safe where he can calm down

- Although it’ll sometimes happen for other reasons too which can confuse people

- Gets so overstimulated after sex, he will literally just curl up in bed for hours and sleep or watch YouTube

- Jenny and Khaji take good care of him, making sure he’s staying hydrated and keeping the sensory environment as controlled as possible so he can rest

- At first he’s nervous about how Jenny will feel but it becomes a running joke that they have to clear their afternoon after having sex

- Jaimes family are always trying to find ways to help him move through life easier but it doesn’t stop his mom from freaking out when she realizes Jaime goes on the roof less because he’s flying to space instead

- Khaji becomes Jaimes biggest confidant because they’re the only one who can truly understand what’s happening in his head

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for running a kid out of a gaming community? (Tw mention of rape/self-harm/nazism)

I play the sims often, and am active in the simblr community. About four years back I (f, 19 at the time) saw a comment under a post about a DLC pack for the game, pointing out that there were an unequal amount of masculine vs feminine clothing in the pack, and stating that “girls were ruining the sims and making it a girls game.” I replied, saying I agreed with their assertion that in inequality isn’t fair (people, myself included, have been complaining about that very thing since the game first came out), but that it’s the developers faults, and it’s not right to blame the players or fanbase of a game for aspects of production that they have no control over. The commenter who I’ll call J (m, 17, though I didn’t know his age until later) responded saying again that girls were ruining the game for male players. Not wanting to clog the OPs notifs with back-and-forth comments, I messaged J privately, reiterating that I agreed with some of his points, just that it wasn’t fair to blame women for ‘ruining’ a game when they weren’t in control of mistakes the development team made. J went on a massive rant about how I was a ‘stupid white girl who loves Starbucks’ (I’m not white and I never said anything about Starbucks?) and that women were ruining the sims franchise by turning it into a “decorating and dress up game” and that players who were women “hated all men and children” because too many people made adult women sims and not enough men/child sims.

At that point I knew the discussion wasn’t going to go anywhere, so I joked and said he sounded like a Redditor. He responded by saying “me when women get raped” followed by a Fortnite dancing gif. I didn’t respond. An hour later he sent me a link to some website featuring a video of a man beating a woman in public. I screenshotted his messages, blocked him, and made a post with said screenshots urging others to not interact with him/to block him too.

A while later I get a message from a mutual linking a post he made about the situation on Reddit, explaining the discussion from his point of view. It was removed by the time I looked at it, but the comments were basically all agreeing with me or at least saying his last responses were wrong. He would go on to complain about how I was “the reason he hated modern women” and that I was “driving him back to being a Nazi because Nazis were so welcoming”. I made a post laughing at the situation, because it was just so absurd.

A few hours later I get an anon from J telling me that I had made him self harm and he posted the photos on his blog. When I finally got the courage to look on his blog several days later he seemed to be okay (it looked like he accidentally scratched himself on the arm too hard, nothing life threatening) but he had DOZENS of anons upset with him for the heinous shit he said. This is when I learned he was 17. He said that he “wasn’t a Nazi anymore, but was thinking about going back” (even though he was non-white, gay and trans?); that women were turning the sims into a girls game and because of that people irl would call him slurs because he was playing a girls game; that the reason he said those things to me was because “I’m autistic, and no one gets mad when they say it on family guy”, and that he want a misogynist he just wanted to make me upset, as well as back and forth arguments with anons where he essentially argued that female custom content creators are sexist if they don’t make masculine clothing/content for male sims. His last posts talked about how the sims was all he had in life and that since everyone in the community hated him now he’d just make everyone happy by killing himself. His blog hasn’t updated since.

Obviously I can’t confirm what happened to him, but I still think about this event frequently, and check up on his blog a few times a year. I have a sizable following on my simblr, and I knew I’d be exposing him to thousands of people with my posts—but I didn’t want him to hurt himself, I only wanted to warn people that he wasn’t safe to interact with.

Should I have blocked and moved on without warning people? Was I the asshole?

What are these acronyms?

[sillylandmagic]

Trigger Warning: mention of restraint

My experiences of having meltdowns as a higher needs autistic person and who has level 2 autism.

So from 2 to 6 years old, meltdowns happened usually multiple times a week. The cause depends. Sometimes it was from my low muscle tone and my feet and legs would cramp up. I couldn’t speak reliably so I just cried and screamed, I could thankfully nod my head yes or no so my mom would ask me if I hurt, and I could nod yes. But for most part it was because of sensory stimuli or changes in my routine or how I liked my food.

I would have screaming and crying meltdowns, where I would stomp my feet and kick and hit things. If my sandwich wasn’t cut right I would have meltdowns, if a loud noise happened or if I smelled something I didn’t like, I’d have a meltdown. If someone got frustrated at me and yelled, I’d have a meltdown.

From 7 and up my meltdowns have been pretty much the same. Except I usually don’t scream as much. I meltdown for the same reasons as I did when I was a kid, but also now if I get frustrated by something like if I can’t do something. Like in math class or history or digital art, I cry and rock back and forth and hit myself. Anywhere other than school, and if it’s a really bad meltdown, I can’t control myself and hit my head violently and things around me and kick things. Pull my hair and cry and hyperventilate. The family member, usually my brother or mom, have to hold me in their arms and usually guide my arms down and hug them to keep me from hitting. It’s upsetting and embarrassing, I yell and grunt and want to run away and get out of my skin.

One time I had a public meltdown we were watching fireworks with my headphones on, and suddenly they got so intense that the ground shook and the bright booms and lights got so overwhelming that I screamed. I continued to yell as my brother guided me across the road because we were walking and I stopped moving. We got to a resting spot and I hit the ground and cried. My headphones didn’t cover the sound enough. I calmed down eventually to the point where I could stop myself from hitting so intensely. So I just sort of hit myself but not as hard. At least the fireworks weren’t so bad after that.

But this just goes to show that meltdowns ARE serious. They ARE dangerous, because if nobody was there to help me walk to the sidewalk, I could’ve gotten hit. If I ran off, someone who didn’t know me could see me and try to stop me, and maybe even restrain me if they saw me hitting so violently. It’s never happened before, but I get afraid of the possibility.

I can’t imagine how it’s like for people of color, especially black and brown autistic people, or people who are high needs and level 3 autistic, those who are nonverbal. It needs to be talked about.

[fireylesbianhell]

i’m having thoughts about my boy

sorry newsies moots but it’s solace time baby

• William Andrew Solace was born in Texas but has tempratlily lived in and been too; New Mexico, Oklahoma, Arkansas, Nevada, California, Washington, New York, and later on in life Massachusetts and Maine. The only states he vividly remembers when he was young was New Mexico and Nevada, as they spent the longest time there besides Texas.

• Will left to camp when his mother stopped in new york and a monster attack very close to camp happened and the nearest satyr recognized him as a half-blood, dragging him with the other demigods (i headcannon one of them was Drew And that’s how those two met) and was introduced. He found his mother again and was able to stay there after some plot stuff i will flesh…later.

• cat person he is such a cat person he’s a golden retriever boy yes but he’s a cat person i’m sorry i’m right i am i know him he told me

• Will did get bullied when he went to a public school for a short time in new Mexico for being/acting “Gay” and it stuck with him a bit as he was worried what camp half blood would be like. but the camp was very friendly and he adapted fairly quickly after his siblings supported his coming out

• Will is Bi to me, and i feel he figured out fairly easily. Naomi wasn’t as religious as her parents and her traveling gave her a wider world veiw, so she wasn’t exactly homophobic but didn’t really let will know gay people existed. he kinda just got context clues along the way.

• Will came out to naomi when he was 14 and she accepted him, after some suprise and tears. it was confusing for both of them but she wasn’t angry.

• Will goes though whipped cream like a maniac. he puts it on everything. everything. i don’t know where i got this headcannon from but it’s mine now it’s my baby his favorite dessert is literally just reddi whip striaght into his mouth and nico is always absoloutley horrified whenever he finds his boyfriend straight up drinking reddi whip out of the fridge after a late night at the hospital wing.

• WORKAHOLIC!! BIGGEST WORKAHOLIC!!! EVER!!! does NOT take breaks does NOT talk about his own feelings. major case of therapist friend with no therapy

• Nico summons skeletons to help will with studying sometimes, hey, it’s better than a textbook

• Due to all the Shit He’s Seen, will isn’t really freaked out by nico or macabre at all. as to contrast, nico hates medical stuff and finds it kinda freaky

• Will has a very Work for what you get attitude and seeing his mother scrape by and work herself up made will similarly hardworking, independent and self sufficient. But he’s also a stubborn bastard who would rather take and remove a bullet then let someone help him either work wise or financially. It got even worse as he became the head of his cabin so much younger with so many younger kids to take care if

• Living in new mexico for as long as they did Naomi decided it was a good idea to have will learn at least some spanish when he was young and he picked up on it nicely, and decided to continue. he’s fairly fluent now and loves freaking Leo out all the time by talking to him in spanish when nobody else is around and he can’t prove it.

• Did also have a minor crush on percy, but mostly as a “woah look at that guy holy shit” and loved teasing annabeth about it (“If YOU love him so much why do you want us to get her together?” “nooo you guys are my OTP i’m not having that up just because he’s hot” <- COMPLETELY REAL INTERACTION THEY E HAD MHM TRUST ME BRO)

• Wants to pick up on some italian so he can do the same thing he does with leo to nico

• TRANSGENDER AND AUTISTIC IM NOT ELABORATING FUCK YOU ( i do have reasons but this is more fun)

• Favorite vide game is a tie between tetris and Majoras mask

• Favorite TV show was Malcom in the Middle as a kid and now is greys anatomy /j/j/j/j but i can gaurentee he hate watches it with the apollo cabin all the time

• Suprisingly fine with plants, yes sunflowers do look at him and everyone makes fun of him for it

okay i’m done (i’m a liar i’m not done but i am about to pass out sooo)

[sappy-detective]

i was talking with a friend about my saiouma with kids HCs/AU and they really liked it so..

(this is an AU where ouma is a kindergarten teacher. let’s make the kids kenji (M 7) and mei ( F 3))

- kenji was originally one of oumas students. he was a troubled kid and would get into fights with other kids a lot. ouma spent a lot of time with him because he saw a lot of himself in kenji. and kenji came from a troubled home

- saihara and ouma where already approved to be foster parents because they took care of some of dice before

- he and shuichi talked it out and decided to take in kenji and his sister as they figured everything out with CPS and everything. and they ended up adopting them both

- ouma is very family oriented and worries about them a lot and he’s emotional about them. he used to take care of DICE when his parents wouldn’t and so it just kicked in

- shuichi is kinda chill but also very nervous about doing something wrong.

NOW HC TIME!!

- on their high school reunion when they asked “who has the most kids?” ouma raised his hand and said “we have 27!” and shuichi corrected him “no we don’t, oumas a teacher. we only have two”

- oumas like“sorry i can’t tonight i have to tuck my kids in and read them bedtime stories” and they’re 13 and 17

- don’t get me wrong ouma is still a menace to society but he changes when infront of kids

- mei is kinda spoiled and sneaky but she’s a great person. she’s EXACTLY like ouma and shuichi teases ouma when he scolds her for doing something he probably did when he was younger

- kenji is autistic and he’s very apathetic and has trouble showing emotion

- he still gets into fights here and there and depending the reason ouma will buy him ice cream or take him out in public and do something embarrassing. maybe picking him up from school in a clown costume or something (if he did tho kenji would start walking home like he didn’t know/see ouma)

- ouma is the kinda dad to yell out the car window as kenji and mei walk into school. kenji is always embarrassed and mei is never embarrassed, especially when it comes to ouma. shuichi laughs but also tries to drive away to save him some embarrassment

- despite that, kenji is definitely more drawn to ouma and mei is very clingy to shuichi

- miu isn’t allowed near the kids without adult supervision (jokes)

- they call kaito, miu, kaede, maki and taro their aunt/uncle

- kaede is one of the only people they can both mutually agree on being okay with babysitting them or taking them out picked them up

- kenji is gay and madly in love with mius son. (oumas petty about it, and her son is exactly like her)

- whenever mei catch them kissing/ dancing/ anything PDA she goes “EWWWWW!!!”

[the-martyrfication-of-the-matron]

Facts about America: The Dystopian and predatory nature of the American Military system Edition

- Almost all military and quite a bit of scifi video games and movies are funded by the U.S. military. Call of Duty is the biggest example because it is such an open secret. It is also why I find all of the Ghost thirst traps hilarious because the U.S. military never expected that. They endorse it, though, don't get me wrong. Publicity and idolization in any form is great, especially when it comes to the idea of women falling for military men.

- All school gym education was for really long time centered around military training. Literally, military training for kids. Similar drills and everything

- All high schools except some private schools in America are visited several times a year for military recruitment. They hand out many various goodies and treats, especially to those who win pull up bar competitions and any thing that requires good aim.

- Some people are given the option between "voluntary" military service and deportation

- It is incredibly hard to leave the military from medical injury. Took my uncle (who already showed signs of cancer, was mostly deaf, and a slew of other issues) to get a heart murmur from PTSD to be able to leave.

- Despite having anti-autism rules, the majority of people in the military are autistic and adhd given how it is structured. Audhd are incredible susceptible to the military structure as it specifically preys in them.

So the majority of people in the U.S. military were groomed into it or given little to no option. You also can't leave so yaaaaaay!

Yeah I’ve heard a lot of shit about American military.

I have family in the British military. I occasionally see my uncle who works in the RAF, and… it’s weird. The military in general has always made me uncomfortable because of him. He’s a nice enough guy, it’s just so callous. Like he’ll talk about things he’s done that have actually hurt people, and he’ll treat it like a joke. And I understand everyone copes differently, and wars and whatever, but… it’s always so off putting. Like he’s bragging.

And I just can’t imagine having this experience ontop of living with the constant glorification of war and military all around me.

In the UK, we actually have (anti-)war poems as part of the GCSE curriculum, and one of the most popular is Dulce Et Decorum Est, or, the full quote ‘dulce et decorum est pro patria mori’, which means ‘it is sweet and fitting to die for your country’.

The poem and the way we study it is so blatantly clear about how this idea of glorifying dying in war is… wrong. War is terrible and awful, and to encourage young men to die for it, for glory, is… shocking.

And the idea that this kind of study is not standard everywhere is really off putting. Because it means that people are going to die fruitlessly and aimlessly, all because they were never given the perspective that maybe dying isn’t all they’re good for. There is so much talk about mental health, and suicide prevention in the media, and yet no one thinks for one second to question the people signing up to be target practice?

I know a lot of people who don’t sign up to the military will ever see war, but it’s just… a really visceral sensation for me to think about this. I feel really strongly about this stuff, I don’t know if you can tell haha

[punmasterkentparson]

Top 10 Favorite Things I’ve Written (In Order of Publication, Oldest to Newest)

10.  (I’m) Stuck On Your Amber Lips (Oct. 2016)

It’s self-contained and kinda cheesy, which is exactly my speed. I like taking one or two running gags and using them as a metaphor to tie the whole story together. Alexei struggling to speak his second language while being perfectly eloquent in his head pops up in a lot of my stories.

9. All My Friends Are Here (Dec. 2016)

I challenged myself to write a 4-way polyamorous one-shot. It’s good to challenge yourself in fiction. And because of this fic, I got to write more with Jack/Tater, which was a TREAT.

8. The Legend of Kent Parson’s Sex Hair  (Dec. 2016)

The line “ You look like you got debauched in the back row of a Beyonce concert. Twice.” came from Tumblr, but the other lines were all me. I’m particularly proud because I’m hella aroace and don’t find people sexy, lol.

7. An Ocean Getaway (With Rum) (Dec. 2016)

Billionaires shouldn’t be allowed to exist, but I still like writing the “sugar daddy” trope, even if this isn’t QUITE that. It fulfills the dual fantasy of having someone trustworthy with a shitton of money take care of you, and being that person with a shitton of money so you can take care of someone you care about. I like writing this AU of Kent and Alexei because there’re pretty stable, mature adults. They talk, they don’t get jealous or have shame about who they are or the sex they like.

6. You’re My Open Road (Feb. 2017)

This 10k oneshot came from a 3-day weekend spent on my sofa drinking coffee and clicking my way down highways on Google Street View. I’d never put so much effort into researching a fic before, but it was fun as hell. It was also the easiest fic I’ve ever written; once I got on a roll, the words just came out.

5. Hooked On Feelings (Feb. 2018)

I do a lot of cat rescue and this came from my experience with that. It was also hilarious to write about rescuing a cat from the perspective of a guy who doesn’t GET cats. I love Monster (the cat). 

4. Bare (Aug. 2018)

I never broke rules as a kid. I never took risks, never snuck out of the house or did anything that could get me in trouble. Being a teenager was hard enough so I don’t know if I wish I had. There are things that you can’t tell the adults in your life, things you’re going through that only the people who are going through it too can understand. I tried to write more for this but I think I liked it better as a oneshot. It leaves the door open for a happier ending than I think I could write.

3. The Corner Caved In (Sept. 2019)

My first (but not last) crossover with the Detroit: Become Human universe. I like how Kent came out in this: no bravado, scared shitless of his own activism. It was also fun to play with two fully-developed universes and see how they came out.

2. vampire weekend (March 2019)

Normalizing and adding bureaucracy to fantasy and horror is something I don’t do often, mainly because I end up thinking TOO hard about it and spending more time on world-building than writing. I enjoyed writing the magnetism of Kent-the-vampire in this, contrasted with his casual attitude. And having Kent speak Russian allowed me to write Alexei without the wall of second language struggles, so he spoke fluently on his own terms.

1. but the cat came back (Oct. 2019)

What I like about horror is exploring the trade-offs that people are willing to make, and what in their lives is important enough that they’ll make the exchange.

Honorable Mention:

Cliff’s Edge (Oct. 2016)

This is the the only multi-chapter fic I have. It’s intimidatingly massive. It’s not finished, likely because I’m working through the same kind of grief and frustration for a lost life as Alexei. A the time of writing chapter 13, I sitll didn’t know what the source was. Now I know it’s because I’m trans and autistic, and I’ll never get back my childhood or young adulthood. Grief is a process, and it’s hard to write about a character coming out the other side when you haven’t done that yet, either. Hopefully, 2023 will be the year.

Hope you liked the list. Thanks for all the support over the years. I feel like I still have some fics to finish, so keep checking back (or go to AO3 and subscribe for updates) to see what’s new.

[galactic-pirates]

Something I don’t see talked about (and yes I know that’s a loaded opening sentence but I have feelings so I’m going to ramble) is how it feels to come to art late.

Like people throw out examples like George Clooney being 40 or something? Or Samuel L Jackson, or you know there are many, of people who came into something older and then were fantastic at it. It’s like a “it’s never too late” reassurance and ok cool, cool, but that doesn’t really help.

I didn’t draw as a kid. I hated art class at school because they didn’t teach. I wouldn’t know how to get the effect I wanted and given no guidance (but plenty of “that’s not what I wanted” criticism). If I found a workaround it was wrong. Like I spent a ridiculous amount of time drawing a model train once by measuring every single line. Best drawing I did as a kid but my teacher told me I was never to do that again as I should spend no more than an hour on the homework.

Part of this was probably being undiagnosed autistic. I need structure and rules and I need to understand. I can’t just experiment how I probably should. So I internalised the “I am not artistic, I have no artistic flair” and I didn’t doodle or decorate. I would be envious of the other kids who did. My notes always looked so boring. We didn’t do art at home. Mum always tells the story of how she was excluded from art class at school for “being a waste of public resources” and so is adamant she can’t draw.

For some reason at 19 I decided I wanted to draw. But again with an undiagnosed autistic need for things to be “right” and obviously any lines I made were ‘wrong’, plus the computer was where I sought answers I fell very quickly into tracing photographs. That was a huge mistake because it taught me nothing and only made it worse if I tried to draw without the crutch - as obviously that was much much worse in comparison.

You see I didn’t have the willingness to draw something awful that little kids have (because to them it isn’t awful) and I judged myself so so harshly. I wanted to draw what I imagined and I found workarounds, like modelling programs to make my own pose references, or smushing multiple references together - I still do this and I absolutely hate it. It doesn’t help but it’s like that bandaid trying to hold a water leak back - it’s better than what I can do without it, so I keep going back for fan events etc. as I feel if I’m gifting someone something it needs to be the best I can do (and merlin knows I am deeply ashamed of what I have posted for past exchanges, 30+ hours or not of effort it was baaaad).

A few years ago I decided enough was enough and I needed to “go back to basics” and get away from the computer. I have got a ridiculous number of courses from places like Udemy/Domestika and enough art supplies to open a small store. I talk a good game - I can sound like I know - but my hand does not.

The problem with the YouTube videos or the courses is these people are skilled - obviously, I mean that’s the point - but sometimes they will show their “old art” from when they were 13 or something and it’s better than what I can do now, or maybe at 9 or something it was about the same but that’s 9 - I’m going to be 34 this year.

I’m still that kid that wants to be told what steps to take. I am still flailing and I still don’t know how best to move forward. Worse I am not a kid and so I feel ashamed I guess. And I’m also alone because there is no actual person I can talk to. I have looked into in person art classes but there’s nothing suitable. I need to find a path forward.

But to circle back to “coming into art late”. I’m 33 and surrounded by so much inspiration (I see art and I so desperately want to be able to make something half that good). But that’s a curated thing because people only post their good stuff (obviously) and so I don’t want to post my shitty stuff so I can’t engage with “art tumblr” or whatever, and I’ve never been good at engaging anyway. I have always felt like an outsider in every community I have tried to join. Plus with fucking AI I don’t want to post my stuff online (although it’s so bad if it did get scraped it would probably act like poison).

So yeah basically flailing and lonely.

It’s deeply demoralising and frustrating. I have never put in the practice time that I should have but that is more to do with my chronic mental health issues than anything - but that then compounds the age problem as I am not 19 any longer. It has been getting on for 15 years - actually I hate putting it like that because then I have to see that I have been wanting to draw for nearly half my life and I have still not managed it. I am still flailing around near the starting line.

Anyway yeah I just feel like nobody talks about being older, and still being shitty at things, and how damn lonely and scary that is. I get majorly stressed out everytime I try and do “serious learning” as I guess it’ll take time and I will be shitty for a lot longer. Maybe there’s also a point here about adulthood and immediate gratification I don’t know. I just know I wish for the impossible to be able to be the child I never was I guess, to start art when people are supposed to - as a kid - and get this stage done and so I can be better. Is that just me wanting to skip the work? Maybe I don’t know.

It’s as I said - I have feelings.

[thepro-lifemovement]

hi!! i’ve seen your blog for years, and you seem to be one of the more popular pro-life blogs around. i was wondering if you have any posts about your views on accessibility to contraception/sex ed and how those relate to abortion.

Hello, friend!

My personal views on contraception may differ from others in the pro-life movement. I can say the Pro-Life movement does not advocate prohibiting the use of non-abortive contraceptives. When it comes to birth controls, you have to be careful with ones that are abortifacients. Students for life explains which contraceptives are abortifacients and which aren't:

I agree with SFLA when they say, "Contraception can give women a false sense of security, and condoms and birth control clearly can’t be relied on as fail-proof methods of stopping a pregnancy from occurring." If you read their website I linked above, they have a section on birth control and how it relates to abortion. I also found this scientific article that discusses the possible relationship between abortion and contraception. The author includes other studies that show trends with increased use of contraception in a population and an increase of abortions. Of course this doesn't necessarily mean the two are related.

If you want to see any posts from others in the pro-life movement on contraception, I have it tagged here. I personally believe fertility awareness is very important and there would be less unexpected pregnancies if women were more aware of what their cycle means. I have met so many women in their late 20s who were never taught about what your cervical mucus (vaginal discharge) means, how to tell when you're fertile, or how to track your period. Being able to consistently track your cycle really helps you understand your body and if there's something wrong with your reproductive health.

Our public school sex education fails to teach young women about their cycle and how to track fertility and I think that has lead to a lot of unintended pregnancies, which leads to more abortions. If women could recognize that "hey, my discharge is really stretchy and clear, I am probably ovulating and fertile right now. I have an increased risk of becoming pregnant if I have sex. I should wait." Or "I am very dry today, which means I'm not fertile. I have a very low risk of pregnancy if I have sex," there would be less unintended pregnancies. I think the public school system's sex ed has failed everyone and sets teens up for failure by saying "don't have sex, but if you do, here's a condom." That's basically telling kids, "we expect you to fail." Sex ed should be teaching kids about what to expect in puberty, help them understand their hormones, and teach them about women's cycles. Parents should really be the ones teaching their kids this stuff, especially about sex and contraception, and how to handle their sexual urges and feelings. I don't think schools should be discussing sex with minors.

For posts on birth control, I have it tagged here.

If you ever want to talk to someone about birth control and accessibility to it, @she-is-a-prolife-autist is very pro accessible birth control.

I hope I was able to answer your ask. Let me know if you have any further questions.

-Sarah

[lemonhemlock]

Silly little headcanon here but I love Helaena's facial expressions when they're facing down Meleys. I look at her while she's holding Criston's arm and for some reason I imagine a scenario where Criston's trying to get her to leave the stage so at the very least she doesn't die but she's like "WAIT NO I WANT TO STAY" maybe because she already knows they survive this and she wants to stand with her family. And then Criston has no choice but to awkwardly stand in front of her in a futile attempt to shield her from any flames while Helaena looks back at the dragon in defiance.

Anonymous asked: I’m so glad HOTD expanded on Helaena’s character, however briefly. I’m really hoping we will see more of her as a dreamer- of course, her descent post Blood and Cheese is completely understandable, but I would love to see her still play a role in the story somehow.

Anonymous asked: so not ready for Helaena to be sidelined again in s2…B&C will probably take place in episode 1 for a punching opening or episode 2, a point from which they will just lock her up in some room and forget about her character. I don’t get the writers, they actually give her more traits than in the book (her being a dreamer and autistic coded), like look she isn’t some one dimensional character! but then never do anything with her. Her dreams/visions are ignored by everyone, we don’t know how her family deals with her quirks, we don’t know what kind of relationship she has with ANY of her family members. Ffs, she is married with 2 kids and we still don’t know whether she likes her kids, hates Aegon, has a secret affair w Aemond, loves Otto, etc. In my delusional fantasies, I envision that they will actually utilize her character in s2 to at least humanize Aegon, if she cannot have her own character arc. If the writers want to redeem Aegon a tiny bit, their best chance would be improving his relationship w Helaena and their kids. Although I highly doubt they would do such thing. *sighs* Let her ride dreamfyre at least once or something. Or let her show kindess to the badly burnt Aegon. ANYTHING.

More Helaena asks! I think there is an interesting observation to make about show!Helaena. On the one hand, she really is woefully under-developed on screen, in that she has NO dialogue with her brothers at all, the only lines she shares are with Alicent, we have Aegon & Aemond talking about her between themselves, but not WITH her. :)) On the other hand, she does gain extra traits from the book ? somehow? She gets to have an unusual hobby, receives neurodivergent-coding and is positioned as a Cassandra figure. Now whether this is actually good or bad, I can’t say, because book!Helaena at least seemed to be a cheerful and content person, well-liked by people and popular with the smallfolk. So that implies a degree of charisma, warmth, sociability and confidence (when interacting with members of the public). Whereas the new character traits she received make her more predisposed to melancholy, so to speak. Even her interest in bugs sets her apart and not necessarily in a socially-acceptable way - most people find creepy-crawlies repulsive, so they would not be able to easily connect and bond with her, because it’s not an interest many people would find palatable in the first place. Who here doesn’t start screaming when they stumble upon a spider or a cockroach?

Helaena is already a character who will suffer a lot in upcoming events, so the idea that, at least until B&C, she had quite a happy life and was OK with her lot kind of makes it a little better? As opposed to living her entire life isolated & misunderstood, with a bad marriage to boot. Like the anon above mentioned, we don’t even know if she likes her own kids lol. Not to imply that she doesn’t, but the writers chose to sit her on the sofa and visually separate her from her children, who are playing with the handmaiden, instead of her, so there wasn’t any opportunity for warmth there either or for some cute moment. Contrast that with how Rhaenyra gets to lovingly hold her children and dote on them.

Whereas in the texts, even Viserys seemed to be fond of Helaena and would regale her & her children with fun stories, like, they spent quality time together and were fond of each other. Nor was Aegon abusive towards her? I mean no one in the books had one bad word to say about Helaena, not even Rhaenyra in particular, so this idea that Aegon would somehow be the only person in his family to hate her is a little exotic, lol.

I would love to see Helaena ride Dreamfyre actually. I find it fascinating that she managed to claim this (huge!) whimsical dragon. I did write something a while back with some ideas on how to expand her character, if anyone is interested (here and here in the latter part of the post).