#or fleshed-out interpersonal relationships

[willoillo]

I spent like all of today reading through book 6 cuz I needed a mental break today, which means I have completely finished this first arc!!

Thoughts on book 6 first:

As... Should be obvious from how quickly I finished it, I really liked this one. This book wasn't plagued with any of the pacing problems that the other ones had, and both the heartbreak and the victories felt well-placed and hard-earned.

The twist with Tigerstar in the third act was spoiled for me, unfortunately, but I think it still had the intended effect. It is kind of an anticlimax for his character? But I feel like it was a fitting end.

The ending itself was very satisfying. It feels like it ties together the story so far, which is... Incredibly tricky given how all over the place the series has felt. But it manages to pull it off, and it does so in a way that makes it feel purposeful. It's a very strong ending.

Now, onto the series as a whole...

I'm gonna start with what I liked, because there is a lot to like!!

I think the idea of the clans is relatively well thought out; how the different environments shape the kind of cats there, what kind of food they're likely to hunt and the difficulties they'll face, the various characters we meet... It does really feel like a setting one could sink their claws into and never really let go, and given how frequently the clans change loyalties and how quickly the cats grow up it seems really easy to fit your own characters into.

I also think the naming conventions are interesting!! How clan names are chosen, the way they change as a warrior develops, the unique terms for illnesses and the seasons and other common things. Fresh kill in particular has entered my vocabulary and stuck there cuz it's just such a good descriptor in my head.

I do love the focus on, like, legacy that the series has? With this focus on growth from kit to apprentice to warrior, and how important teaching the next generation is. It also ties in really well with the passing of the seasons; no matter what else is going on, the seasons march on, bringing their own challenges and forcing the cats to adapt to them.

I definitely fell in love with a lot of the characters, as well? The interpersonal relationships and how they grow and change, as well as how they don't, really breathe life into the world. From what I've seen, I'd say that Cinderpelt and Sandstorm are my favorites, but I also ended up falling in love with Greystripe and Silverstream's doomed romance, as well as Bluestar's quiet compassion.

I like the way Starclan is handled; they feel present the entire time without disrupting the tension or providing an answer. The messages from Starclan always feel like a mystery to be solved, which makes them engaging and kept me guessing.

The kitties are a lot of fun to draw, unsurprisingly; I still might make more art, if only for fun, and I'm really happy with how Bayflower turned out. I have a Warriors OC now and I wouldn't give her up for the world x3

That said, no series is perfect, and this one was... Kind of a bumpy ride. Lots of ups and downs. The clans beyond Thunderclan aren't very fleshed out beyond their like, broad characteristics and the few characters from them we meet directly, quite often the story feels aimless and things come together either too late or not at all. There's a fair bit of fatphobia and ableism in it. The villains in particular aren't very fleshed out; they only get to be a complex character until they've chosen their side.

The biggest thing that frustrated me though, is how inconsistent the series is. Some of these books were excellent, others were frustrating, and most fell somewhere in the middle, with moments that I absolutely loved compared with moments where I got so bored or frustrated I had to put down the book for a bit.

I'm not surprised by this? It's very common with long running book series, especially ones with multiple writers. But it still made me really unsure of what to think and made the experience less enjoyable overall.

Given how many books this series has, and how bumpy the ride has been so far, I think that this is where I get off. It's been an enjoyable time, and I'm very glad to have read the series, but there's A LOT of books and I don't feel comfortable committing to them after my experience with this first arc. I'm sure there are gems in there, but I don't feel like digging for them.

That said, if you have a particular book you think I should read, or an arc I should skip to so I don't miss out on a character you love, now's your chance to tell me!! I'm not averse to reading more in this setting, I just don't want to commit to the whole series.

Overall, this was a great time, and I'm glad that I read this first arc. There's a lot to love here, and I no longer feel lost or confused by the kitty references, which is great!! I can like. Get some of the jokes, and watch animatics without being completely lost, which is ESPECIALLY a boon. I adore fan animations they are the COOLEST thing.

Library found their copy

So it's time to do this!! If I enjoy my time I'll keep reading, but I make no promises.

[lemonhemlock]

Silly little headcanon here but I love Helaena's facial expressions when they're facing down Meleys. I look at her while she's holding Criston's arm and for some reason I imagine a scenario where Criston's trying to get her to leave the stage so at the very least she doesn't die but she's like "WAIT NO I WANT TO STAY" maybe because she already knows they survive this and she wants to stand with her family. And then Criston has no choice but to awkwardly stand in front of her in a futile attempt to shield her from any flames while Helaena looks back at the dragon in defiance.

Anonymous asked: I’m so glad HOTD expanded on Helaena’s character, however briefly. I’m really hoping we will see more of her as a dreamer- of course, her descent post Blood and Cheese is completely understandable, but I would love to see her still play a role in the story somehow.

Anonymous asked: so not ready for Helaena to be sidelined again in s2…B&C will probably take place in episode 1 for a punching opening or episode 2, a point from which they will just lock her up in some room and forget about her character. I don’t get the writers, they actually give her more traits than in the book (her being a dreamer and autistic coded), like look she isn’t some one dimensional character! but then never do anything with her. Her dreams/visions are ignored by everyone, we don’t know how her family deals with her quirks, we don’t know what kind of relationship she has with ANY of her family members. Ffs, she is married with 2 kids and we still don’t know whether she likes her kids, hates Aegon, has a secret affair w Aemond, loves Otto, etc. In my delusional fantasies, I envision that they will actually utilize her character in s2 to at least humanize Aegon, if she cannot have her own character arc. If the writers want to redeem Aegon a tiny bit, their best chance would be improving his relationship w Helaena and their kids. Although I highly doubt they would do such thing. *sighs* Let her ride dreamfyre at least once or something. Or let her show kindess to the badly burnt Aegon. ANYTHING.

More Helaena asks! I think there is an interesting observation to make about show!Helaena. On the one hand, she really is woefully under-developed on screen, in that she has NO dialogue with her brothers at all, the only lines she shares are with Alicent, we have Aegon & Aemond talking about her between themselves, but not WITH her. :)) On the other hand, she does gain extra traits from the book ? somehow? She gets to have an unusual hobby, receives neurodivergent-coding and is positioned as a Cassandra figure. Now whether this is actually good or bad, I can’t say, because book!Helaena at least seemed to be a cheerful and content person, well-liked by people and popular with the smallfolk. So that implies a degree of charisma, warmth, sociability and confidence (when interacting with members of the public). Whereas the new character traits she received make her more predisposed to melancholy, so to speak. Even her interest in bugs sets her apart and not necessarily in a socially-acceptable way - most people find creepy-crawlies repulsive, so they would not be able to easily connect and bond with her, because it’s not an interest many people would find palatable in the first place. Who here doesn’t start screaming when they stumble upon a spider or a cockroach?

Helaena is already a character who will suffer a lot in upcoming events, so the idea that, at least until B&C, she had quite a happy life and was OK with her lot kind of makes it a little better? As opposed to living her entire life isolated & misunderstood, with a bad marriage to boot. Like the anon above mentioned, we don’t even know if she likes her own kids lol. Not to imply that she doesn’t, but the writers chose to sit her on the sofa and visually separate her from her children, who are playing with the handmaiden, instead of her, so there wasn’t any opportunity for warmth there either or for some cute moment. Contrast that with how Rhaenyra gets to lovingly hold her children and dote on them.

Whereas in the texts, even Viserys seemed to be fond of Helaena and would regale her & her children with fun stories, like, they spent quality time together and were fond of each other. Nor was Aegon abusive towards her? I mean no one in the books had one bad word to say about Helaena, not even Rhaenyra in particular, so this idea that Aegon would somehow be the only person in his family to hate her is a little exotic, lol.

I would love to see Helaena ride Dreamfyre actually. I find it fascinating that she managed to claim this (huge!) whimsical dragon. I did write something a while back with some ideas on how to expand her character, if anyone is interested (here and here in the latter part of the post).

[froschli96]

you know, i always find it really funny when dudebros complain about syndicate and odyssey being too "jokey" or not "taking its characters seriously" or whatever…

like, did y'all collectively sleep through "it's-a me, mario!", "i meant besides vaginas", ezio inventing the latte, bartolomeo's... just... *gestures vaguely* entire character, etc?

like, it's fine to have preferences of course, i myself prefer a more serious and grounded tone, but these are usually the same people who tout the ezio trilogy as "peak assassin's creed", call ac1 a glorified tech demo and hate on connor for being "too serious and boring", like? make it make sense!

[sparkles-oflight]

Hello, to the 6 people reading my fanfic (I'm sorry, I literally get so excited when I get kudos or any kind of interaction in my story hehe):

Chapters 6-8 won't have much Jan, Jure and Nace content....I was considering writing an extra chapter through Jan's POV. What do ya think?

[adventures-in-mangaland]

Even More Dead Boy Detectives Fic Recs

I've discovered some amazing new authors since my last post! And writers I've already recced have published more great stories So here's another fic rec post!

Who? You mean your teammate in the Codependency World Cup? (series) by RoseGanymede95

I couldn't chose! They're all great! Basically a series of Edwin and Charles through the years and on cases pre-show. It scratches that adjusting-to-being-dead/newly-escaped-from-Hell itch and the authors writing is magic! It also fleshes out a really interesting conflict in the payneland dynamic: Charles' drive to protect Edwin at all costs clashing with Edwin's guilt over putting Charles at risk/depriving him of some ideal afterlife. Parts one and four also introduces Constantine/Johanna and part three revolves around an absolutely gut-wrenching temporary break-up. 😢

In Hell I'll Be in Good Company by laylabinx

Charles rescuing Edwin from Hell does not go smoothly. Just. Bucketloads of Trauma for both of them. And for you, the Reader. It's so good though!

your fangs in my neck (like an anchor like a vow) by shadowquill17

Vampire Edwin AU! It's great because it combines the (homo)eroticism of vampiric feeding with Charles' whole bisexual crisis and post-confession Edwin worrying about making Charles uncomfortable. Also Charles is some kind of demigod/immortal agent of divine vengeance which is an AMAZING detail and I desperately want to see some fanart!

The same author's ongoing story to the pain is also excellent though very angsty (cw temporary character death). I'm anxiously waiting for an update!

To Memory Now I Can't Recall by engineering_madonna

This is an amnesia fic and the most recent in an established relationship series. The first two installments feature the boys getting together and navigating their new relationship, so pulling the old 'character A forgets their whole romantic relationship with character B' trope hits especially hard! The whole series is lovely, but I am WEAK for temporary-amnesia.

Lemonade & Sunrises by paraph

A Quiet Place AU! The boys are alive, but they're the only ones. Very bleak but in a way that makes me want more!

1999 au (series) by websters_lieb

The boys figure their shit out in the 90s. Also, Edwin gets to read Maurice and queer theory. The cases in both stories are compelling and the author's writing and characterisation of the boys are excellent.

I also recommend offer me that deathless death which is about the boys' first meeting, Charles' funeral and the birth of the agency.

if I could reach the stars (i'd give them all to you) by ObsessedWithFandom

Charles falls first, Edwin falls harder. This is an AU of the author's excellent Charles' bisexual awakening fic, which I also highly recommend. It has lovely OCs and Charles having a sweet little friendship/romance with the boy he saved in canon, which actually makes his death a whole lot more tragic.

Came up from that lake of fire by ghostinthelibrary

Charles and Edwin get caught escaping Hell and promise to capture a demon-eating ghost called The Deathless in exchange for their freedom. With the added twist that they get to be alive again! An exciting case, high stakes and all the alive-again culture shocks and emotional/interpersonal drama you could ask for.

gig officially gigged by laiqualaurelote

Band AU! It shouldn't work but it does. Which might also be an in-universe review for the band tbh. Idk, I loved Edwin's massive obscure musical instruments and Charles being his unpaid roadie. Peak Found Family Feels.

No Rehearsing It, No Reversing It by DontOffendTheBees

Charles overthinks being in love with Edwin, my beloved. This time with increasingly flimsy pretexts for why they NEED to kiss. Just perfect Idiots in Love, no notes.

The Case of David Bowie's Made up Sexuality by williamvapespeare

The agency attempt to help a living lesbian couple deal with a haunting. Meanwhile, Charles struggles through his bisexual (re)awakening. With bonus past (living) Charles no-homo-ing himself to the nth degree. Pure of heart, dumb of ass, indeed.

The lamps are going out by CasiHuman

Vengeful Spirit Edwin AU! Has some interesting ghost lore and Edwin being convinced his touch is painful to Charles (love that trope!). Also features some of the author's adorable/hilarious fanart at the end.

just frame the halves (and call them brothers) by Anonymous

Crystal stumbles upon the ghost of Edwin's older brother, who hires the agency to free him and his platoon from the battleground they've been haunting. Case fic with interesting details about Edwin's family life and an awkward as hell family reunion.

the case of the very long ferry ride by obsceme

Sex pollen but with skin hunger, so it's more touching turned making out and hand jobs in a bathroom. Interesting use of ghost lore and it's cute and well written.

Form 239, Schedule L by sanctuary_for_all

Charles Rowland's Love Language is Acts of Service: The Fic. So many feels! Plus Afterlife worldbuilding and some quality Night Nurse rep.

don't go sharing your devotions (lay all your love on me) by Hephanna

The boys and Crystal accidentally summon an alternate universe version of Charles. He's very... handsy. Charles being jealous of himself is objectively hilarious and it looks like it could be heading towards throuple territory. Possibly even a foursome, if alternate Edwin figures out parallel universe travel. Which he probably will.

Still a Better Lovestory by Vamillepudding

Hanahaki disease! Charles is on the case but Edwin's being weirdly uncooperative about his own curse. I loved the worldbuilding (there's a whole sisterhood of washerwomen!) and the angst, plus the writing is excellent.

The author has also written Eternal Sunshine, in which Edwin is cursed to feel no love of any kind. It makes for an interesting character study, contrasting cursed Edwin, his public reserve and his actual personality.

[deception-united]

Hello! I've been enjoying your writing posts a lot. Here's my question: How do you exactly write a character profile? Getting one from the internet feels like feeling out a resume, but trying to create one myself leaves me hanging in with the question “what should I be putting here?”

Thanks for asking! Crafting a character profile can indeed feel like navigating a nebulous space, but it's a crucial step in fleshing out your characters and getting to know them better. Here's a breakdown of what you might include:

Basic information: Start with the essentials - name, age, gender, and any other pertinent demographic details.

Physical description: Provide a brief overview of what your character looks like. This could include height, build, hair color, eye color, distinguishing features (scars, tattoos, etc.), and typical clothing choices.

Personality traits: Think about your character's temperament, quirks, strengths, weaknesses, likes, dislikes, and any notable personality traits. Are they introverted or extroverted? Optimistic or pessimistic? Adventurous or cautious?

Background: Delve into your character's backstory. Where were they born? What was their upbringing like? Do they have any significant life events that have shaped who they are today?

Motivations & goals: What does your character want? What are their ambitions, desires, and fears? Understanding what drives your character can add depth to their actions and decisions within your story.

Relationships: Explore your character's connections with others. Who are their family members, friends, enemies, or love interests? How do these relationships influence your character's actions and emotions?

Skills & abilities: What is your character good at? What are their areas of expertise? Do they have any special talents or abilities that set them apart?

Character arc: Consider how your character will change and grow throughout your story. What obstacles will they face, and how will they overcome them? What lessons will they learn along the way?

Internal conflicts: What internal struggles does your character grapple with? These could be doubts, fears, moral dilemmas, or unresolved traumas.

External conflicts: What external challenges does your character face? These could be adversaries, societal pressures, or environmental obstacles.

Another thing I like to do is find an online personality test, like 16Personalities or Truity, and fill it out on behalf of my character. Both the process and the results can give further insight. Websites such as Campfire have full character profiles that you can complete. Or try filling out this character ask game!

Remember, this is just a starting point, and you can tailor your character profile to fit your specific needs and preferences (e.g., fighting style, fantastical conditions, supernatural abilities, character archetypes, interpersonal values, leadership style, phobias, habits, etc.). Feel free to add or omit sections as necessary, and don't be afraid to let your characters surprise you as you write!

Previous | Next

[warframe1999]

Sooo…

The protoframes, huh?

i wanted to go a bit into what each member of the Hex (yay, new syndicate!!) had to say when you got into proximity of them in the relay. there’s honestly a lot here to set the scene not only for 1999 itself, but introducing each protoframe as well as sort of hinting at their interpersonal relationships, and how they interact with one another! some of my favorite kinda of lore is specifically character development and personality-focused dynamics like this so here!!!! i walked back and forth for an hour for YOU! here is all proximity dialogue for each character in the Höllvania Mall relay:

ARTHUR:

“Question. Could I take Quincy down if he turned on me?”

“We’ll find you, Doctor. That’s a promise.”

“Stop sniffing around my head, Eleanor. If I want to talk, I’ll talk.”

“We need to keep Lettie on her feet. If she goes we all go.”

“Dunno why we even bothered with that cleaning rota.”

“Yeah, we can hold this place.”

“One day, Aoi. No more roadblocks and checkpoints. Just you and me and the bikes, open road for miles, all this bullshit far away. I swear to Sol.”

“Still too open. We need more chokepoints.”

“Bottled water. Like sodding gold dust.”

“Well Amir’s still alive. That’s a win.”

LETICIA:

“I got nothin’ to prove to you, Quincy! Go play your little games, niño.”

“¿Qué onda? The Lady Eleanor ain’t no more freaky than the last time you checked in. ‘Less you know different?”

“Yo, Aoi. Chill, hermana. Do something for yourself, for once. Arthur ain’t going to blow away if you blink.”

“The boss says care for his sister I care for his sister. As long as you still are his sister… and as long as I feel like listening to him.”

“Being loved and being hurt? Yeah, I make no distinction. I knew someone, once, wired the same way. Kept me sane. And what of it? Te crees muy acá ¿no? Get outta my head, Eleanor.”

“Never signed up for this. I’ll be home Mamá. Your little girl doesn’t end here. No te preocupes.”

“Man, I’ve been awake so long that even the spiders in my head have all gone to sleep.”

“Wacha: unless you’re pissing blood right this second, whatever it is can wait.”

“I swear, should lock Aoi and Amir in a cuna. Didn’t sign up for no babysitting gig.”

AOI:

“I don’t wanna go on patrol. I wanna take stuff apart.”

“Nearly time for the On-lyne boys.”

“Metal, metal, metal, what do you want to be?”

“Yep. I can live like this.”

“Arthur needs to keep some fuel in the tank for himself. Goddamn savior complex that man has…”

“I oughta get some headphones. Then I wouldn’t have to hear Quincy work off all that surplus testosterone!”

“If they take Entrati out, who’s going to look after that mutant jaguar of his? Poor thing won’t last five minutes in the wild.”

“Amir! Remember to hydrate!”

“Dear past self: we finally got those super powers we always wanted. Whaddayaknow.”

“GodDAMN. Lettie would you keep your frickin’ rats OUT of my SPACE?”

QUINCY:

“Don’t look up, Doctor.”

“Arthur needs to leave the Major to me, innit. Respect my methods.”

“Don’t mind the waiting. Plenty to be thinking about.”

“You don’t know me. Never see what darkens your rooftops. Inevitable, like the rain. Handing out consolations in a transient connection. Boom. Smoke. And ghost.”

“You wiv me, Eleanor? How deep in you go? See anythin’ you fancy, girl?”

“Amir is a weak, weak boy. Like Aunty said, ‘duppy know who fi frighten.’”

“Thassit… nice and steady.”

“How many man have the opps got? Not enough t’be takin’ me. Never.”

“Oi, Lettie! Grab y’ strap and let’s go. Best a five buys the drinks?”

ELEANOR:

“Don’t expect me to tell you what I’ve seen in Amir’s head. He’s not a beautiful, broken marionette, and he’s nobody’s project. He’s one of us.”

“Quincy thinks he’s going to wake up one night to me chewing the flesh from his ribs. Maybe he’s right.”

“I know you’re there. I can feel you. It’s okay, I won’t tell the others.”

“Aoi? She’s lovely and kind and strong, and… I kind of hate her a little bit. Because it should have been her spreading her happiness into everyone’s heads, and me throwing cars and trucks around.”

“I thought there were going to be two of you! Where’s the other one?”

“Blood. There’s gonna be a fight. Something… bursting. Crossed swords. Arthur!”

“What on earth is a ‘Mara Lohk’?”

“Oh, you’re going to make such a difference this time around.”

“I don’t think Doctor Entrati expected me to survive. I had a lot more than just a cough. But… survive I did. And Lettie has not forgiven me for it.

“Oh. OH. She’s wonderful! Triple-faced goddess! But there’s a shadow on her, isn’t there?”

AMIR:

“A little zap, and… infinite credit! No more ‘insert coin’! Not that we could insert coin. We have no coin. Once we had coin, but now Aoi has smooshed all the coin. Coinnnn.”

“Why did they never make a console port?”

“BAD MOVE, SPACE CAA-DET.”

“But the one thought none of them spoke out loud was - could Lettie reattach a head?”

“Hey, Arthur! Arthur! Arthur! Arthur! Arthur! Dahh, you missed it.”

“Eleanor? Are you there? Can you - can you give my brain a hug please? Thank you.”

“We’re getting a little too excited, let’s step it down, step it down before we get the blue cracklies. In one two out one two.”

“Oi’m Quincy. Oi’m gonna blow out yer kneecaps. Mashup in yer chip shop alright.”

“Ungh! This violent video game is influencing my emotions! Societal norms… eroding! Morality… subsumed! I MUST KILL!”

“This place used to smell so good. Coffee. Cookies. Fresh clean socks. Now it’s just rust, pain, and old socks.”

[aayakashii]

routine

Pairing: Kagami Subaru x MC/reader

Tags: SFW. Character analysis, a bit of angst, hurt x comfort (I think), fluff and romance between you and Subaru, over 6k words

Author's note: this is probably the biggest fic I've written lol and I'm kinda proud of how it came out, since it also took me some days to fully flesh it out. I'd appreciate comments if you liked the fic! Comments literally keep every writers alive. Anyways, hope you enjoy!

Kabuki Glossary:

Biwa: Japanese short-necked wooden flute traditionally used in narrative storytelling

Geza: the music that plays during kabuki, performed live

Hanamichi: flower path; a long, raised platform, running left or center to the stage through the audience, connecting to the main stage, used to make dramatic entrances and exits

Mie pose: a powerful and emotional pose struck by an actor

Onnagata: actor who acts the role of a young woman 

Sewamono:  a genre of contemporary setting plays in Japanese traditional theatre

Shamisen: three-stringed traditional Japanese musical instrument

Tachiyaku: young adult male roles, the actors who play those roles; most commonly these are hero roles, though not all of them

Takemoto: a specific type of song, it is also the narration device used during a kabuki play. It consists of a chanter/narrator (tayu) and the shamisen players

Subaru had become used to it.

You would come to visit him right after your classes, if you weren’t assigned a mission, and Subaru would welcome you with tea and some obscure sweet he managed to get, just to let you try it. You two would talk, and you would share stories about your friends in the Academy, how your life was before you became cursed, and he would tell his own stories, even if he thought they weren’t nearly as interesting as yours.

It gave him a sense of belonging.

Subaru hadn't had much experience with friendships or any interpersonal relationship at all.

His life was merely the background for his career as an actor. His bare skin was merely the foundational bricks for the red and white makeup that would adorn him once he was out on the stage.

When he was under the spotlight, his monotone voice resounded loudly – louder than the drums, louder than the shamisen, louder than the biwa. Subaru became gigantic under his costume. His movements were sharp and hypnotic, the flow of his kimono as he walked down the hanamichi and the pierce of his gaze turned all heads towards him. He was a genius, a talent like no other, the future of the kabuki theater.

And he did not see himself in any of it.

Here lies the true tragedy of a burned out genius child: to go under insurmountable levels of pressure, only to find that the dreams of your parents were never your own.

Subaru did not want to be under the spotlight, no matter how much the spotlight wanted him and no matter how much others wanted him to be under it.

As he was forced to keep walking the flower path, his chances of living life as a normal kid were gone: he had no friends, no acquaintances, nothing that helped him find out who he was for himself.

So, he had no experience.

But he knew that he could pick out the feeling of belonging somewhere after spending time with you.

Eagerly, he waited for the clock to reach 5PM everyday, knowing that you would come through his door to spend time with him.

Routine was always something he appreciated, anxious as he was. He didn't like surprises, he wanted things to be predictable, to give him even the slightest sense of control over his new life as a student.

Therefore, to know that you would come to visit everyday, at the exact same time, was his comfort – even if the thought of you made his heart skip a beat, although he didn't quite understand why.

Not even standing behind the greatest stages made his heart drum loudly after a while. As the green, red and brown curtains of the stage were pulled, his body went on automatic. The takemoto went through his ears, unnoticed, and the geza became white noise. He moved gracefully, although his mind flew into other planes. As the audience clapped enthusiastically as he stood in his mie pose, Subaru wished he was somewhere else. He felt extremely guilty for not being able to appreciate the hard work of the musicians and the actors, but after he figured out that the passion he thought he had was merely a reflection of his parents’ passion, everything became black, white and gray.

Yet, planning fancy snacks for you made his hands clammy and his heart restless – and it wasn't the most comfortable feeling, however, he didn't hate it. He knew you'd come through with the routine and wash his anxieties away.

However, much to his dismay, his comfort had been ripped off of him for the past three days. His precious routine had been broken and Subaru would be lying if he said he wasn't counting the hours, the minutes and the seconds until it was restored, somehow.

He just had no idea how to fix it.

You had been fiercely avoiding him for three days, ever since the last meeting was cut short, and he blamed himself for hurting you in the worst way he could have ever done it.

Subaru has always had awful self-esteem.

No matter the compliments about his genius, none of them stuck to him. When you despise what you do, being good at it just brings forth more bitterness towards oneself.

Subaru was a rarity in the kabuki world – someone who could represent a captivating tachiyaku or the most elegant onnagata. He could be the hero or the princess, something that most actors could not do. To don the costumes of two genders was the cause of endless praise and awe from the audience and members of his acting house alike – none of which he accepted.

To him, his talent came as second nature. There was no need to hone his skills – they were already there, much like an additional organ he was born with – and he loathed that fact. He loathed how this pushed him towards a world in which he didn't want to participate. 

He truly valued the hard work he was now putting into his studies, something he was creating with his own hands. He could see his own growth and pat himself on the back for it – even if he still had a hard time accepting compliments (he knew the only reason he was the captain of Hotarubi was due to his status, after all. He was just a figurehead).

Subaru’s stigma was an even bigger burden towards his path of bettering himself. 

If he hated being an actor, he hated himself even more for his powers. Much like his talent, he did not ask to be bestowed with such a repugnant stigma. It was the reason why his parents would never touch him, never hold him. He was a walking breach of privacy, a dangerous little thing that could easily become a weapon, if the truth of his stigma was found out. He was untouchable in every way, figuratively and literally.

He truly couldn't understand how Lyca, Zenji, Haku and you were so quick to accept his ugliness. 

“You aren’t disgusting, something like this could never be your fault”, you had said, when he wallowed in self-pity after revealing his secret. But to step out of his cycle of self-hatred was a tough task.

Your visits helped, however. For the first time in his young life, someone saw him as himself and stayed. 

Haku and Zenji were his true friends, but they still saw him through the lens of that one genius kabuki actor. And Lyca… he was alone and desperate.

You, however, had the ghouls of Darkwick Academy wrapped in your little finger and, still, you chose him. Despite his social awkwardness, his anxieties, his anger, his stigma. You chose him whenever it was time to get lunch, when you could be resting, when you could have anyone else. The thought of it made his heart skip a beat again. He was sensing a slight pattern.

Yet, it had been three days, and you were gone. No messages, no visits, no news.

He understood your avoidance despite it all. He had committed the worst sin he could have done to his dearest friend.

He had touched you.

You had come to Hotarubi at your usual time, 5PM, sharp. Your hair was disheveled and a few droplets of water stained the tatami of the tea room as they fell from your face and hands, while you hurriedly took off your shoes.

“I’m so sorry for making a mess, Subaru! I had to run here to arrive on time and ended up forgetting my umbrella… I had to walk under every cover I could find, but I still ended up being sprayed by the rain.” you said, as you stood at the entrance, shaking your body as if you were trying to get rid of the excess water.

Subaru shot up from his spot, his face contorted in worry.

“Oh no, please don’t do that!” he said, as he ran to quickly rummage through the drawers of the room for towels “You always have to use an umbrella when you come to Hotarubi, what if you get a cold?”

You grabbed the towel he gave you, smiling awkwardly.

“I know, I know. I just didn’t want to arrive late. I didn’t want you to get anxious.”

Subaru blinked, face blank, as he was caught off guard by your answer.

“You… you don’t need to worry about me. I’m not that anxious.” 

You laughed, and he felt his breath hitch on his throat.

“Suuure, and I don’t breathe oxygen…” you said jokingly, hanging the towel on a nearby hanger after you finished patting your face and arms dry, giggling as you noticed the way he was pouting slightly. “I’m just playing with you! I’m sorry.”

“No no, I’m sorry about worrying you to the point of you having to hurry…”

You rolled your eyes and raised your hands to put them on his shoulder, quickly stopping yourself before you could actually touch him, resting them on your hips instead.

“Subaru. You don’t have to apologize for something like that. I am doing this because I care about your well-being. You're my friend and I want you to be okay. It’s not something to feel apologetic for. Instead, you can just thank me for being a great friend.” you winked and he immediately looked away from your face, that was too bright for him to stare at.

“O… okay… Thank you.” Subaru murmured, forcing himself to look at you again, from under his lashes, a small smile adorning his features.

“You’re very welcome.” you nodded “Now let’s drink some tea please, I do need something hot to warm myself!”

“That’s true, let’s get you warm so you won’t get a cold, please.”

Soon, time slowed down as you two sat and chatted about everything and nothing at all. You talked about how weird Darkwick's shopkeeper is, how awfully crowded the dining hall is (Subaru avoided it like the plague), how scary Professor Hyde can be sometimes, how loud Kaito and Luca are, how cute are the little cats running around all day…

How funny it is that you two always met for lunch in a place where only romantic couples hung out, you mentioned in passing, almost mumbling to yourself like you didn’t want to be heard.

“Does it make you uncomfortable?” Subaru asked, already looking apologetic, hearing you despite your low voice.

“No, no” you were quick to dismiss his concern “It’s, um, I don’t know... Doesn’t it make you a little nervous?” you said, laughing sheepishly, a foreign blush warming the tips of your ears, which went unnoticed by him.

“You get nervous when we’re there? We can eat somewhere else, you don't have to stay in a place you dislike just to appease me…” Subaru muttered, frowning “I’m so sorry I didn’t notice that it was making you uncomfortable…”

“No, no, no” you shook your head vigorously “That’s not what I meant at all! I… I don’t think I can explain it to you just yet. I don’t think I’m… ready, or… whatever, I don’t know…” you trailed off, incoherently.

“Ready? I’m sorry, I don't understand.”

“It’s okay” you flashed him a smile and grabbed one of the kimono catalogs that were littering his table, fidgeting with it, mindlessly “Don’t worry about it. Let’s just keep eating there, okay? Promise we’ll keep eating there?”

“But I want to understand what you mean- oh!” Subaru cut himself off as he saw a thick sheet of paper cut your thumb while you flipped it anxiously “Your thumb…”

You looked at the small cut that was letting out a single droplet of blood and shrugged.

“Oh, I didn’t even notice… it’s okay, I’ll put a bandaid over it later. Wait, Subaru? Wait… wait, no!”

The boy didn’t quite register his own movements, as his hand went to grab your bleeding one, gently grasping your pulse with his soft fingers, running his own thumb over your cut, as if his touch could heal you faster. 

His hands were bare.

You inhaled sharply and, instantly, it all flashed into his mind in quick succession. Like a large wave overwhelming an inexperienced swimmer, he was pushed down into the deep waters of those memories, causing him to gasp, breathless.

Subaru was swarmed by visions of himself in every possible situation. He saw how your gaze followed him when you spotted him from a distance in the campus; how you searched for him in the crowd of students during lunch time, on the tranquil balcony in which you two have shared your food together plenty of times before; and how you turned your head around whenever you heard someone mention his name in passing.

He had glimpses of the way his hands moved while making tea; his profile as he smiled gently when he tried explaining your homework to you; and his own eyes softening as he talked about Lyca. In your eyes, he looked magical. Ethereal, even. Someone who deserved to be admired, loved, praised and he knew these were your own emotions being whispered so subtly to him.

Subaru saw himself in a way the mirror had never reflected back to him. He discovered parts of his being that he wasn't able to find out for himself, because they would only come to the surface when he was with you.

In his mind's eye, right then, Subaru laughed, loud and breathless, as he clutched his stomach – all the restraint he built through his lifetime, gone through the window, after you had merely told him some silly joke. The way he brightened with your words, making your heart beat in a terrifying, yet delightful way, made your breath catch on your throat.

And much like a dying man seeing his whole life flash through his eyes, he arrived back to the present and saw himself, staring wide-eyed at his own hand tightly gripping yours.

He blinked, and his consciousness came back to him.

Subaru, like usual, felt incredibly weak after using his stigma, yet he still quickly turned his gaze towards you, eyes wide and mouth opening and closing like a fish, unable to say a word.

Your face was beet red and your eyes were blankly staring at your own lap, lips pursed into a thin line and eyebrows furrowed. Your free hand was clenched into a fist, knuckles pale with the force in which you dug your own nails into your palm.

“I…” Subaru murmured, trying his best to weave a coherent thought.

You got up quickly, breaking the hold Subaru had onto your arm, and grabbed your things in a hurry.

“I think- I think I should go.” your voice cracked and you cleared your throat harshly “Thank you so much for the snacks and tea, they were delicious like always” you blurted out, quickly making your way to his door.

“Wait, no, I- I'm sorry, I-” Subaru held his hand out, as if he tried to reach you but you were too far away, oceans of distance between you two.

“There's nothing to apologize for!” You said, way too cheerfully for him to believe you “I just gotta go now. I have… I gotta go. Yeah. See you soon, Subaru.” you stepped out into the rain and soon disappeared into the mist that surrounded Hotarubi, not waiting for whatever he tried to say.

Subaru stared at his own hands. The little droplet of your blood stained his fingertip, and he took a deep, shaky breath.

He had betrayed you. He had seen your innermost memories without your consent and now you were mad at him. He had to apologize. He had to beg for your forgiveness, until you took pity on him and allowed him to be your friend once again. 

Falling into a deeper pit of self-hatred was hard, but he tried to keep it together, for you. He needed to be lucid in order to beg for your pardon once you came back to visit him. He just hoped it would be soon.

But you did not see him soon at all.

“I don't think they're mad at you for seeing their memories, it’s not really like them. But maybe they're embarrassed?” Haku pondered, taking a bite of the mochi Subaru had set out for you out of pure habit.

“No” he shook his head, adamant “They wouldn't simply disappear if it was just that. I don’t believe that. I have done something that made them angry at me. I saw something I definitely shouldn't have seen.”

It was the fifth day of you avoiding Subaru and he was hanging on by the thinnest thread. He was so close to snapping that it was becoming clear to the other Hotarubi students. And so, Haku and Zenji came to intervene.

“Well... I can't really give you my proper opinion if I don't know what you saw.” Haku said bluntly, making Subaru flinch.

“I can't tell you. I would be breaching their trust again. That’s the last thing I need to do right now.”

“You are absolutely correct, my dear friend!” Zenji remarked “However, we can’t possibly figure out the true essence of your situation if you can't tell us the whole entire story! How can we write an ending without knowing the beginning and the middle of the plot?”

“I don’t know…” Subaru murmured, looking more miserable with each second.

Haku sighed loudly, shifting his legs on the seat.

“Subaru. We don't want to gossip. We just want to know the situation better. We are their friends as well, you know?” he smirked “We can help you figure out their emotions. If anything, you might feel better after venting. How’s that phrase? A burden shared…”

“Is a burden halved!” Zenji finished, boisterously.

A pang resounded in Subaru's heart at how his friends were doing their best to help him.

“O…okay. I'll tell you”

After finishing recounting the last day he saw you, Subaru sighed loudly.

“Well?”

After a moment of silence, Zenji exclaimed loudly, startling the other two.

“Oh!! The spring begins!!” he yelled, one hand on his chest as the other went up in the air “How lovely it is to see young buds bloom into perfect flowers!!”

Haku slowly nodded at Zenji’s words and chuckled, rubbing his own face in disbelief while he noticed how absolutely perplexed and confused Subaru still was.

“I see now…”

“What?” the brown-haired boy fidgeted, almost desperate to grab Haku and Zenji and shake them by their shoulders “What's going on?”

The other boys looked at each other, before turning back to him. 

“Subaru, I don’t want to beat around the bush so I’m just gonna say it straight away. They're like… very much in love with you.”

He blinked slowly, as if the words were entering his brain at a snail’s pace.

“What?” was all he managed to utter.

“Yes, my friend! Our lovely flower seems to be completely smitten by you!”

“No” Subaru shook his head “That can't be. It doesn’t make any sense.”

“Man, if there’s one thing that makes sense in the world, is what we’re telling you right now” Haku said, while laughing “Specially after everything you said you saw. You just… saw their feelings when they weren't ready to tell you yet, so I bet it feels embarrassing. It's probably eating them alive right now. That’s why they’re not visiting.”

Subaru stared at his own lap, his mind not properly processing the depth of the situation – the word “Love” bouncing in his brain like a lost temari.

“Then…” he whispered, throat hoarse “What should I do now?”

“What do you feel for our little flower, my friend? Do you correspond to their feelings? Do you love them back?” Zenji worded gently, as if he was talking to a scared wild animal.

“Do I love them back…” 

Haku nudged Zenji, motioning for both of them to get up and leave Subaru for the moment.

“Figure that out first. If you do, go after them and tell them you correspond to their feelings. If not, just let them deal with it on their own. Also, if you don’t like them back, don’t ask for them to come visit you again like nothing ever happened. You’d just be rubbing salt on their wounds.”

“How do I figure that out though?” Subaru looked up at the two men as they leisurely walked outside of his room, eyes already brimming with tears.

“You're a smart guy. You'll figure that out by yourself.” Haku winked at him and both him and Zenji slipped away, leaving Subaru at a loss.

Subaru did his due diligence the only way he knew how: by studying. He started reading romance mangas and watching romance movies. It was the type of media his family would never approve of, as they deemed it unworthy of someone refined like him.

Still, despite him thinking that that “forbidden knowledge” would give him all the answers, it still led him nowhere.

He wasn’t like any male lead from these works. He could never run after someone in an airport and yell their name, begging them to stay and forgo all of their life plans. Subaru wasn’t like that. He couldn't run, couldn't yell and could never see himself as more important than anything.

His self-esteem wasn’t nearly as good as what was necessary for him to feel even the slightest kinship towards the strong, bold male leads, who always had something impressive to show – something that made them who they are, even if they had failures in their personalities.

Subaru could say he had his career as a Kabuki actor as something impressive, but again, it wasn’t him. Kabuki was a part of him, yes, but he wanted to shed it like a cocoon.

Despite that, he thought, then, of all the romantic plays he had performed.

He remembered the pain of most love stories, the tragic end of most sewamono plays he performed and he felt the thorns of grief strangle his chest, tightly.

He remembered the star crossed lovers who could never be together, the man who was promised to someone else and couldn’t be with his beloved, and the woman who had her life binded to a place that would never let her be with the one she desired the most.

All of them, lovers who could never be together, so they chose to erase their own light, because being without one another was more painful than dying together.

Subaru thought about not having you in his life for a moment and he figured: maybe not having you was its own type of death. A life without his most beloved friend felt like an empty one. A loveless one.

He paused.

Love. He thought of this word so candidly, it came to his mind without conscious thought – like it was second nature, like it was the obvious conclusion. And so, he decided to allow his thoughts to flow naturally, without pressure or expectations for once.

He thought of the way he searched for your gaze whenever you two were in public, seeking your comfort and approval. 

His heart skipped a beat whenever he glanced at you and you found his eyes, smiling silently at him, as if you two had a secret inside joke. 

His chest swelled with pride whenever you agreed with him (it didn’t matter the subject) and he almost felt like he could burst with it whenever you thanked him for his help studying, or when you praised him, or when you giggled at something he said.

Subaru cared for your tastes and opinions, always asking for your favorite foods, flowers, scents and colors. He made sure to smother you in your favorite things, in order to keep you more comfortable – in order to keep you with him just a little longer everyday.

His thoughts wandered over to you at any given moment and he didn't even notice. He'd question himself whether you'd like something, which sweets he could order for you, which teas he could brew.

Without noticing, he based his life around you and it felt absolutely right when he did that. It felt like belonging somewhere.

Subaru inhaled sharply.

The place in which he belongs is wherever you are, he figured.

Subaru hastily got up and bolted out of his room, out of Hotarubi and into Darkwick's campus, where the rain was pouring heavily, accumulating around the lamp posts and pitter-pattering loudly on the asphalt. His clothes were drenched in mere seconds.

He had forgotten his umbrella.

Subaru banged as loud as he could on the door of the rundown cathedral, trying to blink away the raindrops that stuck to his eyelashes and blurred his vision. He could barely see through the heavy rain anyway, so he missed the lights on the windows flickering on and your shadow hurriedly descending the stairs to walk towards the tall doors.

“Subaru?!” you yelled through the sounds of the storm, his hands still raised in fists, ready to keep on banging at the door. “Oh my goodness, Subaru, you’re drenched!”

You pulled him by his uniform’s sleeve, doing your best to avoid touching him without his consent. ‘Always so thoughtful’ he thought to himself, feeling a little floaty after finally seeing you after a whole week.

With his realization, the dam that was keeping his feelings for you safely contained inside a hidden part of himself was no more.

Subaru acknowledged that he was madly in love with you and he immediately began feeling foolish. His fingers itched to touch you despite his fears and he could look at you for hours on end, drinking every detail and every mannerism.

It was like admitting his love was also letting go of his self control. He felt like something inside him nudged him to be as close to you as possible and it flustered him.

No wonder the movies and mangas said that being in love made people a bit sillier, a bit dumber. But the extent of it was almost ridiculous.

He followed you like a lost puppy when you motioned for him to come with you, and soon you two found yourselves in the kitchen.

“Okay” you let out a loud exhale “This is the warmest place in this dorm. You’re lucky I was already making myself some tea. Also, I’m gonna bring some towels and a change of clothes for you, although I might not have something that’s your size. Geez, Subaru, what were you thinking, walking all the way here in this storm? And this late? Without an umbrella!” you rambled on and on, pouring boiling water into a mug for him to drink and dipping a tea bag inside, carelessly.

Subaru grabbed the warm mug and looked at you, with saddened eyes that felt like an arrow through your heart.

“I missed you.”

You took a long breath as you heard the words coming out of his lips, and stared at him, dumbfounded, like he had suddenly grown a second head. You were about to reply, when Subaru shivered intensely despite the warmth of the kitchen, and you came back to your senses, walking briskly towards your room, in order to fetch the towels, leaving his words unanswered.

Subaru sipped on the tea, suddenly every insecurity bubbling up to the surface while he waited for you to return. What if he totally misunderstood your memories? What if you just loved him as a friend and nothing else, what if Haku and Zenji were totally wrong, what if what if what if-

The sound of your hurried footsteps interrupted the avalanche of thoughts that were most definitely about to bury him under a panic attack. He focused on your silhouette approaching him with a handful of towels and what appeared to be a big nightgown.

“Okay, let's get you near the stove.” You said, beckoning him to sit where you were standing.

As soon as he sat down again, you covered his head with a towel and began drying him up as best as you could. Subaru focused on the feeling of the soft fabric rubbing against his head, and then his neck and his arms.

“I'm gonna turn around and close my eyes. Meanwhile, please try to dry yourself properly and then put on this nightgown I found, okay?” you said, quickly turning around on your feet, not waiting for his input.

Subaru stared at your back for a moment, and began doing as he was told – the thoughts that were plaguing him calming down and silencing on your presence, as if you were a protective charm. His protective charm.

“I'm done” he muttered, hair still dripping, but mostly dry when it came to his whole body.

You sighed, looking at his wet mop of hair and began drying him again, in silence.

“I’m sorry for touching you” Subaru was the one who first broke the comfortable stillness between you two. 

“You know I’m not mad at you because of that, right?” you replied.

“You disappeared” he stares at you, the hurt in his eyes clear as spring water.

“I know, and I'm…” a beat passes by, longer than it actually was “I apologize. I know running away isn't the best approach, but that was all I came up with.”

Subaru stayed silent, as if he was waiting for you to complete your answer.

“It's just… I can imagine what you saw and I wasn't ready to discuss it yet.” you finished, shoulders slumping after you finish drying his hair.

Subaru moved a few strands of his brown hair away from his eyes.

“What do you think I saw?”

You glared at him, cocking an eyebrow at the question that sounded way too much like a tease.

“I don't think you’re in a position to ask questions like that, are you?” you replied, unintentionally snappy.

“Oh, I'm sorry… it truly wasn't my intention”

But it was Subaru that was standing before you, not anyone else. Truthfully, you knew he would never in a million lifetimes think of teasing you on purpose. It was one of the reasons why you ended up so lost in your feelings for him.

You sighed, more in frustration with yourself than anything else.

“I know, I’m just… Look, Subaru… I'm sorry too.”

It was his turn to raise his eyebrows, but in confusion.

“For what?”

You chewed on your bottom lip, avoiding his eyes even though you were standing so close to his sitting form that his whole presence overwhelmed you. 

“For putting this burden on you. I know you saw my… like…”

He waited yet again for you to finish.

“I know you saw my feelings for you.”

Subaru could immediately feel a warmth spread through his chest, cheeks and ears at your words. So he wasn't mistaken? So you liked him back? Truly?

“But I didn't want to burden you with them.”

The smile that was tugging at the corner of his lips suddenly dissolved into nothing.

“B-burden me?”

You pursed your lips, transferring your weight between your legs, back and forth, back and forth, anxiety clear on your face as you thought of how you could tell him what was on your mind.

“I didn't want to ruin what we have, I think? But there's no point in hiding now, right?” You chuckled nervously “I mean, you already know, but I really like you, Subaru. If I ruined our friendship because I got too greedy, I think I wouldn't be able to handle it.”

You looked at him, eyes swirling with emotion and, for a second, Subaru thought this could all be a dream – the only thing that confirmed otherwise being the uncomfortable chill of his body, a sign of a fever approaching.

“Everything you do… every interaction we have, I just get more and more in love” you cringed at how emotional your own words sounded “But I am so scared of your rejection. I think in part I was hoping you'd forget about that incident during my time away from you. I didn’t imagine you’d come after me.”

Subaru's heart beat drummed loudly and fast inside his chest, although he tried to keep it hidden (his face betrayed him, however).

“Did you think of me while you were away?” He managed to mutter.

“Are you kidding me?” you laughed, breathlessly “You were all I thought about this whole week.”

His ears burned red.

“I… thought about you all the time too.” he mumbled, gaze fixed on his own hands.

“What?”

He took a sharp breath and steadied himself, training his eyes on you as he spoke his next words.

“I'm so… I'm so sorry I'm not good with emotions and I'm sorry that it took me a whole week to understand things when I could have relieved you of this earlier but… I figured it out. I finally did.”

“Figured out what?” you tilted your head to the side and his chest warmed once again at the effortlessly cute gesture, giving him even more certainty to keep saying what he had to say.

“I like… no… I love you too.” he watched the way your eyes widened and darted all over his face, as if to search for a sign of truth behind his words.

“I am so blind and afraid of other people that it took me that long” he proceeded “But I know now. I.. I really do love you and I don't want to be away from you any longer. You don't have to stay away anymore. So please.” He got up from his seat and took a small step towards you “Please don't leave me behind like that anymore.”

You shook your head, tears welling up on your eyes, his intensity squeezing your lungs until you thought you could die, breathless, his eyes stealing every ounce of air from you.

“Subaru… Please… please don't tell me you're doing this to appease me.”

He paused.

The thought of you not believing in his words tugged a little at his heartstrings, but he also couldn't blame you. Not when he was so unsure of all of his feelings on a daily basis, towards everyone and everything, and you were the main witness of the way he clumsily stumbled his way into understanding himself.

He was absolutely sure of this, though.

“I'm not.” he said, voice steady as he looked at you.

“Because if you're saying this just because you want to keep me close, I would never be able to forgive you.” You looked away from him, pain over this imaginary scenario clouding your face. It was the time for him to extinguish your anxieties and insecurities for once.

“I'm not.” He took a step closer towards you.

“Please… don’t try to please me if you don't truly feel the same way.” You shut your eyes tightly, throat clenching as you felt the tears threaten to fall.

“Look at me.” He pleaded, and you hesitantly complied, breath hitching on your throat when you noticed how close he was standing to you “I promise you. I'm not.”

Subaru leaned forward, capturing your lips into a quick, chaste kiss, a fire burning on his cheeks at his own boldness.

He was still afraid of his stigma and how it would work with the other parts of his body besides his hands, but once he noticed he was still grounded in reality and not locked in another memory of yours, he got a bit bolder once again, and kissed you for just a little longer, lips melding together just a little more. The softness of your kiss made him sigh and his heartbeat deafened his ears. 

He tentatively rested his forehead on yours once the innocent kiss was broken.

The first thing he noticed was the warmth you radiated while he stood near you. Both of you had beet red faces and your minds were hazy, as if they were made of clouds.

You were the first to come back to reality and giggle at how overwhelmed both of you were with just a little kiss.

Slowly, hesitantly, your hand came up to cup his cheek, and he leaned into your touch like a cat.

“The stigma?” you whispered

“Not activated”

“Good.”

Your other hand came up to run your fingers through his hair, on his nose, on his chin. 

“Do you believe me now?” Subaru asked, wholeheartedly.

“Maybe, I think I'm going to need a few more kisses to fully believe you.” you smiled, teasing him a little bit.

“Really?” He leaned away to look at your eyes, still a bit worried he hadn’t convinced you yet.

“No” you snorted “I'm just joking.”

“Oh I see… sorry I didn't get it right away” he furrowed his brows, apologetically.

“I don't mind getting more kisses though!” you squeezed his shoulders, reassuring.

Subaru chuckled, still a bit flustered at your proximity. Suddenly, however, he scrunched his nose and stepped backwards.

“Subaru?”

“Oh. Oh, I think I'm gonna–” Subaru quickly turned around and sneezed into the towel that still hung on his shoulders “Oh-oh. I think I'm getting a bit sick.” he said, nasally, nose dripping a little bit as he sniffed loudly, back still turned towards you.

You fretted, hovering all around him as you scolded the poor boy.

“See! What did I tell you!” You quickly placed your hand on his forehead and gasped “Let's get you to bed right now, Subaru. You're already feverish!”

You pulled him quickly towards your room, hearing his wheezes as both of you climbed the stairs that led to your quarters.

“But I don't regret what I did” he stifled another sneeze “I needed to talk to you.”

You blushed, opening the door to your room, and glared at him.

“And now you're sick…”

You two climbed the stairs to your lofted bed and you pulled the covers, motioning for him to lay down.

He sat on your bed and looked at you, puppy eyes blinking his allergy tears away.

“But… it kinda looked like a movie thing, didn't it…?” he said, sheepishly.

You pushed him towards your pillows and covered him thoroughly, pouting a bit.

“I think it did…” you stared at the giddy smile that tugged on his lips and sighed, shaking your head.

“I'm going to be down there” you pointed to the bottom of your room “So if you need anything, I'll be here. I'll just grab you some water and medicine and come back quickly, okay?”

You got up, but as you began to leave, Subaru held your hand. His eyes were already droopy, the events of the day getting to him, along with the cold that was quickly racking his body.

“Are you going to start visiting me again?” he asked quietly.

You felt your heart skip a beat as you looked at his sleepy face, the question making you fall even deeper in love with the adorable boy in front of you, if that could be even possible.

You nodded.

“Everyday, for as long as you want me near you.” you said quietly as well.

He shifted on the bed, snuggling closer to the blankets, and closed his eyes, letting sleep wash over him.

“Forever, then.” he mumbled, and, soon afterwards, began snoring softly.

[bellshazes]

Taxonomy, like adultery, is a sin - but since it doesn't stop the Bdubs Patented Third Wheel Effect, we won't let it stop our categorizing its manifestations either.

The Third Wheel Effect

Bdubs has been engineering partnership and love triangles since his first SMP over a decade ago. In fact it's the consistency across such a long time that obscures the pattern's specifics: it's easy to tell he likes to play on jealousy and cast himself as a villain, but harder to look past the variations of who is pulled into what role obscures the fact that there's truly a small group of overlapping tropes where the players of each role may change, but fundamentally, it's the Third Wheel Effect all the way down.

The Tropes

WELCOME HOME, CHEATER: The earliest, but also the most flexible, as Bdubs is just as happy to have the B-Team in jeopardy because Genny caught him shacked up with Etho as he is to confront Doc for making out with Ren in his absence. As long as someone's mad with cause, it's good fun.

I NEVER LIKED HIM ANYWAY: In contrast to Welcome Home, Cheater, in this subset it's revealed the presumed original pair was a lie, and the third person has had his heart all along. The willingness of the surprised third party is mostly irrelevant to the high drama unfolding, probably under duress in a death game. In a certain light, the crumbling of Team BEST is not not this.

iS THIS A HAPPY COUPLE?: If you read the last description and thought it was missing handcuffs, you know where this is going. For some reason, partners are shaken up and new ones are established on the threat of death if they don't work together. Whether there's still lingering longing for the new third wheel is an open question. Oddly, tends to backfire with a karmic kind of irony, like Impulse and Bdubs' death in Double Life, or dying to your own bear trap anyway in Survival of the Fittest.

POWER STRUGGLE: Bdubs has a habit of appointing heads of state and then somehow acting affronted when he transitions from election champion to one of many civic advisors. Suddenly the subtext turns sharply toward not just governance but government affairs. The threatening third(s) may be or act oblivious to their alleged love triangle, like Cub's nonchalance at Bdubs' rage while they both worked for Mayor Scar.

THEY DON'T LOVE YOU LIKE I DO: Most often instigated directly by Bdubs, the triangle becomes a game of tug-o-war - or at least Bdubs sees it that way. This is especially likely as a result of a Power Struggle, although Etho gets a less angry, more angsty flavor of this in some Life seasons. Also plays very well with Welcome Home Cheater.

Conclusion

Although Etho is a focal point of many past and present love triangles, sometimes even instigating conflict related to them himself, Bdubs' pattern of needing a third wheel to flesh out relationship dynamics is both broader and more predictable than it might appear. Any combination of players who will yes-and him and let him be a little stupidly vindictive or encourage interpersonal drama is a valid combination. It's Etho happily playing into Bdubs' natural wheelhouse and drawing it out of him pre-emptively that adds to them being a pair with no set configuration but that is more enduring than any other alliances they've made over the years.

[literary-illuminati]

2024 Book Review #9 – The Devourers by Indra Das

I was recommended this as an example of a contemporary work where werewolves are actually treated as monstrous and horrifying instead of either romance fodder or one interchangeable variety of supernatural in an urban fantasy kitchen sink. In one sense that was a blatant lie (the monsters are only werewolves in the vaguest sense), but in another one I care about much more it fit the bill perfectly. Funnily enough it basically is a romance (or at least, the overarching framing narrative is), but for once I’m not complaining about that. Excellent read, though does require a bit of a strong stomach.

The framing narrative follows Alok, a history professor in Kolkata whose approached by a mysterious stranger at a festival. The stranger identifies himself as a half-werewolf, an immortal man-eating shapechanger. In between being mysterious and menacing and flirting with Alok, he hires him to transcribe and digitize two historical werewolf manuscripts – journals etched into parchment made from human skin. Those journals are the meat of the narrative, and it rapidly becomes clear they are written by the stranger’s parents; first the ancient norse werewolf who had wandered all the way to the banks of the Yamuna, then the human woman he fell into something like love with and raped as she travels alongside one of his former packmates and hunts him down.

The framing device is the emotional heart of this, and incredibly well interwoven with the manuscript sections. It’s fundamentally a romance, though one somewhat interestingly devoid of real conflict or plot (well, from Alok’s perspective. There’s a whole emotional journey with him going from ‘future food’ to ‘romantic partner’, he just only gets small glimpses of it). There’s I think one real argument or point of conflict between the two of them across the entire book? And maybe one or two points besides that where Alok or their relationship encounters genuine difficulty or danger. Despite that, and despite (or perhaps because of) the ambiguous ending, it all just very much worked for me.

It’s also interesting – and the book does really call this out – that the whole plot is essentially arbitrary. The inciting incident is just a werewolf being angsty and lonesome, and the entire story and all its stakes are strictly interpersonal with nary an epochal revelation or looming existential doom to be seen. It is a sign of how much of my reading diet is genre fiction that this felt like a massive breath of fresh air, I think.

Speaking of love – the book is deeply and intensely preoccupied with the closeness of and overlaps between love and sex and pain and violation and consumption and death. Werewolves consume souls and memories as well as flesh, knowing and even becoming (for a time) those they hunt. This extends to each other as well – regeneration means mating and fighting to the death is an impossibly thin an frequently crossed line, and intimacy and memories are shared by literally allowing someone to take a bit out of you. Izrail kills and consumes both his mother and his father, and this is the only way he ever truly knows either of them. Both he and his father have fallen in love with whole strings of humans across the ages, and each been the ruin of all but one of them. This extends into the use of language as well – I didn’t take notes as I read, but the example that sticks in my mind was the description of one werewolf pressing a mush of chewed flesh into the mouth of another so he might heal as being ‘like a gentle kiss’.

It is just an intensely gory book in general, really. Or not even gory so much as carnal, in the older broader sense. There’s blood and viscera and sweat and sex and piss and shit and tallow made from human fat and game animals eaten bloody and raw. All of it seamlessly intermixed in one richly detailed and incredibly pungent sensory world the book conjures up for you.. This is taken to an extreme whenever the primordial god-monsters that are a shapeshifter’s second soul appears on screen, but even beyond that – like when I say you need a bit of strong stomach to enjoy the book, I really don’t’ just mean in terms of violence.

This ties in a bit with the lack of grand, world-shaking stakes I mentioned but – the book makes excellent use of its period piece sections to really sell this feeling of the weight of history and of being caught up in the wake of events larger than you can perceive. The 17th century sections really nail the sense of the past as its own living, breathing world full of richness and contradictions, rather than just a slate for the present’s psychodrama. Also it’s possibly the first book I’ve ever read which really mentioned the surprisingly widespread and violent history of werewolf hunts in Europe, which I appreciated.

The shapeshifters (werewolves, rakshassa, djinn, ghuls) themselves are absolutely great. Horrifying and disgusting and sublime, with exactly as much detail given as the story needs without succumbing to rpg splatbook syndrome. The idea of werewolves as things which are deliberately created through a(n incredibly violent and traumatizing) ritual process is one I don’t think I’ve seen before? It works here, anyway – though instead of a hereditary curse or contagious infection, it leaves shapeshifters feeling like one of those elite, elevated fraternities who put new inductees through a hell of physical, social and sexual violence for hazing and indoctrination purposes (the usual modern versions being military units, sports teams, and just actual fraternities). Which ties into all those themes of the fine line between love and violence, I suppose.

Or well, not technically fraternity – werewolves are all functionally genderfuild (can take a big nap and wake up looking like whoever they ate last) and while their second selves can fuck I’m not sure either human genders or, like, genital arrangements apply to them. But 3/4 of the werewolves who get any lines are one caricature or another of masculinity and this absolutely informs how the condition and culture are presented. So like, I’ll just go with it.

Anyway, great book! And ‘abuse regeneration by sewing dozens upon dozens of bones and trophies taken from prey into your skin’ is a great look for a werewolf’s human form.

[chillhypocrite]

This post is unofficially sponsored by The Book Of Merthur on AO3. Go read it. It’s so beautifully written, and I love how the interpersonal relationships are fleshed out- before romance there is nearly always friendship, and friendships outside of romance are an essential part of happy life. The Book of Merthur illustrates all of that while being hilarious. Go ahead. Read it.

Also I think my fav part of drawing this was Merlin’s boots. So fun.

[godgavemenoname]

this episode was SO good, oh my god! im kind of glad i couldn't listen to ep 37 right away, because it was nice having it so fresh in my mind going into this one. the scale of these episodes is so different - the churning gears of empire and the revolutionaries who give their lives to throw even the smallest wrench in it, vs. a man coming back to his childhood home and having to reckon with his deadbeat dad's dementia - and yet they have a similar level of emotional impact.

the silt verses is constantly fluctuating between addressing different conflicts on entirely different scales. wars, revolutions, political drama, capitalist exploitation, familial dysfunction, and other interpersonal relationships are all given about the same amount of time and attention. it would be so easy to fuck up, but instead it works, because every personal conflict ties back into political conflict and vice versa.

while val wages war, she wrestles with both her personal ethics and her relationship with her mother. faulkner and eddie can't get their father government-funded healthcare or they risk him being sacrificed to that same war. so on and so forth, infinitely.

it fleshes out the world as so huge yet interconnected. all the complex details of worldbuilding are grounded in emotion and humanity. at every turn as it creates this world, the silt verses asks: what is it really like to live in it? and every character presents different answers to that question.

[silverspadesss]

been enjoying playing suzerain recently and when i tell you i have never needed a TV adaptation of any piece of media more in my life. i need to see these characters be Voiced and Acted, need to see the fleshing out of the interpersonal relationships between them, need to see the world of the game further brought to life, need to see the complex political machinations of the plot fully fleshed out in front of my eyeballs. but most importantly, i need to be able to edit lucian galade to brat.

[universe-in-the-void-in-the-cube]

My headcanon bio for 2P Finland

Finally got him updated and fleshed out. This is my version of 2P Finland. Take it or leave it.

Also if anyone wants to RP this version of 2P Finland let me know so I can follow them.

Character Profile: 2P Finland (Thurston Väinämöinen)

Basic Information:

Full Name: Thurston Väinämöinen

Nickname: "The Iceman"

Age: 20

Birthday: June 6

Species: Personification of Finland

Nationality: Finnish

Sex: Male

Gender: Cisgender Male

Preferred Pronouns: He/Him

Romantic Orientation: Heteroromantic

Sexual Orientation: Heterosexual

Religion: None

Occupation: Leader of a militant faction

Status: Active member of his faction

Fandom: Hetalia

Face Claim: N/A

Relationships:

Parents: Unknown

Siblings: Unknown

Family: Unknown

Significant Other(s): None (but potential for romantic development)

Children: None

Closest Friends: Allies from chaotic factions primarily composed of like-minded individuals who share his ideals.

Rivals: 1P Finland (the main contrast to his chaotic beliefs)

Enemies: Various authorities and opposing factions seeking to maintain order.

Physical Traits:

Eye Color: Striking cherry red, glowing with intensity and determination, often unsettling to others.

Hair Color: Bleach-blond, short and messy indicating a chaotic lifestyle; practical enough for combat but wild enough to reflect his personality.

Height: 5'7" (originally listed incorrectly as 6'1")

Weight: 166 lbs.

Body Build: Muscular and stocky, indicating years of combat training and experience.

Notable Physical Traits: Battle scars that tell stories of past confrontations, a rugged beard, and a strong jawline contribute to his intimidating appearance.

Phobias and Diseases:

Phobia: Fear of emotional vulnerability and the isolation that successively follows.

Mental Health: No formal diagnosis, but struggles with internal conflict and aggression.

Physical Health: No known physical diseases.

Personality:

Usual Mood/Expression: Intense and aggressive, displaying maniacal glee in action-packed moments.

Moral Alignment: Chaotic neutral; operates outside traditional moral frameworks.

Jung Typology: ESTP ("Entrepreneur"), characterized by spontaneous action and a love for challenges.

Enneagram Type: Type 8 ("The Challenger"); represents a strong-willed and assertive nature.

Four Temperaments: Choleric; driven and assertive with a strong desire to lead.

Astrological Sign: Gemini; suggesting a duality of character with complexity in thoughts and emotions.

Hogwarts House: Slytherin; embodies ambition and cunning traits.

Top Five Tropes: Anti-Hero, Dark and Troubled Past, Emotional Beast, Leader of the Pack, Charismatic Tough Guy.

Five Prominent Traits: Aggressive, Charismatic, Unpredictable, Complex, and a natural Leader.

Miscellaneous:

Skills: Proficient in hand-to-hand combat, strategic planning, and an adept survivalist.

Hobbies: Training in combat drills, devising survival strategies, and engaging in anarchic debates.

Element: Fire, embodying his fierce and aggressive nature.

Animal: Wolf, representing loyalty, strength, and a pack mentality.

Plant: Thorn bush symbolizes his defensive and rugged demeanor.

Additional Notes: Thrives on chaos and seeks the adrenaline rush that accompanies confrontation.

Stats:

Compassion: 0/10

Empathy: 0/10

Creativity: 3/10 (tactically creative in combat settings)

Mental Flexibility: 4/10

Passion/Motivation: 9/10

Education: 3/10

Stamina: 8/10

Physical Strength: 9/10

Battle Skill: 9/10

Initiative: 7/10

Restraint: 1/10

Agility: 7/10

Strategy: 7/10

Teamwork: 5/10 (only when it aligns with his goals)

Musical-Rhythmic Intelligence: 1/10

Visual-Spatial Intelligence: 4/10

Verbal-Linguistic Intelligence: 3/10

Logical-Mathematical Intelligence: 5/10

Bodily-Kinesthetic Intelligence: 8/10

Interpersonal Intelligence: 4/10

Intrapersonal Intelligence: 5/10

Existential Intelligence: 6/10

Naturalistic Intelligence: 2/10

Physical Appearance:

Build: His muscular and stocky frame shows a commitment to rigorous training, making him an imposing figure in confrontational situations.

Height: Standing at approximately 5'7", he uses his stature to assert dominance when possible.

Hair: His purposely messy bleach-blond hair complements his chaotic lifestyle; he favors functionality, often pulling it back during battles.

Eyes: The cherry red of his eyes possesses a captivating yet unsettling quality, signifying both passion and danger.

Facial Features: A strong jawline and rugged beard contribute to his enduring toughness. Scars tell tales of past battles and tumultuous experiences; his intense expressions convey a mixture of confidence, aggression, and underlying victimization.

Clothing: His attire is practical and tailored for survival rather than aesthetics—a military-style camouflage jacket layered over a black tank top, rugged combat pants teeming with pockets for gear and ammunition.

Accessories: Heavy-duty combat boots merge protection with agility. He wears tactical gloves for maximum grip and a utility belt for critical survival tools, enhancing his functionality in combat. Occasionally, he dons a bandana or mask, underscoring his readiness for confrontations.

Personality:

Thurston embodies a perplexing blend of charisma, aggression, and unpredictability. His leadership style is defined by a drill-sergeant mentality, demanding loyalty and discipline from followers while relishing the chaos surrounding them. His strict adherence to strength as a virtue manifests in a dark sense of humor that scrutinizes societal norms.

Notably, Thurston's charisma is rugged, allowing him to inspire loyalty through strength, although it simultaneously alienates him from genuine emotional connections. Beneath the fierce exterior lurks a complex individual wrestling with profound fears—particularly the fear of vulnerability and isolation.

Background:

Thurston's formative years were shaped by an unforgiving environment, where he quickly learned that competition was vital for survival. The narrative of trust being a weakness led him to cultivate a worldview centered around strength, leading him into gangs and militant groups that echoed his beliefs.

His adolescence was marked by violence and tumult, sharpening his strategic capabilities and further cementing his chaotic outlook. This rugged upbringing ultimately earned him a reputation as a fierce opponent, teaching him that in a world dominated by chaos, one must be ready to manipulate and confront others to retain power and control.

Goals:

Thurston seeks to establish a dominion where only the strongest can thrive, envisioning a world where societal collapse makes way for a new natural order. His ultimate ambition is to lead a faction that echoes these beliefs, positioning himself as central to this redefined societal structure, necessitating conflict with those who represent order.

Needs:

Thurston’s prime need for respect and fear directly fuels his ego. He struggles with complex companionship needs, equating loyalty with strength, often pushing potential allies away as he seeks validation through his aggressive demeanor.

Moreover, an intrinsic fear of being labeled weak drives him to maintain a façade of invulnerability, complicating his ability to accept emotional vulnerability or connection.

Motivations:

Thurston’s motivations root deeply in a belief referencing survivalism, fixating on the idea that strength is the ultimate asset. He intentionally places himself in confrontational scenarios, perpetually pushing the boundaries of reckless behavior to validate his worldview.

His commitment to adrenaline-driven adventures comes from a place where danger is both alluring and terrifying, resulting in a cycle of compulsive hedonism that encapsulates his existence.

Internal Conflicts:

Thurston faces a fundamental conflict between his aggressive nature and a burgeoning awareness of emotions. His contempt for emotional bonds clashes with unexpected moments of longing for connection, generating a tension that often leads to self-destructive behavior in his relationships.

External Conflicts:

Thurston is often embroiled in conflicts with those upholding order—the ideological contrast between himself and 1P Finland illustrates this struggle. Moreover, his interactions frequently lead to skirmishes with authority figures, accentuating his existential desire for autonomy, which solidifies his rebellious identity.

Relationships:

Allies: A mix of similarly inclined individuals from various chaotic factions allows Thurston to garner strength through collective belief.

Rivals: The rivalry with 1P Finland signifies the ideological divide between chaos and order, serving as a catalyst for Thurston’s emotional exploration and journey.

Romantic Interests: While potential romantic partners are intrigued by his depth, Thurston’s aggressive persona often proves intimidating and off-putting. His internal battle between attraction and fear of emotional bonds creates an enriching complexity in his romantic plots.

Overall Theme:

Thurston's character encapsulates the ongoing struggle between chaos and order, strength versus emotional vulnerability. His journey prompts a contemplation of the delicate balance between power and compassion, challenging societal norms around strength, leadership, and the necessity of emotional connections.

General Plot Ideas:

Crisis of Leadership: Thurston faces the challenge of maintaining authority while grappling with the need for negotiation, exposing his vulnerabilities.

Emotional Bonding: A connection with a pacifist character propels Thurston to reevaluate his beliefs on strength versus vulnerability.

Apocalyptic Scenario: Encountering the chaos he craved forces him to confront the reality of his desires, challenging his totalitarian view of survival.

Romantic Plot Ideas:

Challenge of Loyalty: A romantic counterpart emerges, revealing a perspective that contrasts his brute beliefs, compelling him to reconsider his methods and views on connection.

Conflicted Rivalry: A dynamic with a rival character emerges, revealing the tension between strength and compassion, prompting growth and inner conflict.

[the-litwtc-archivist]

Episode 1: Sex, Drugs, and Yugioh Cards

Below the cut is all of my notes from the first episode of LITWTC. Be forewarned, it is long.

Characters/Creatures

Mole people

- Live underground

Gigaworms

- Gigantic 3 headed earthworms

- Live underground

- They will get you if your bunker is not fortified enough

Dig boys

- Live underground

Children of the Drill

- Live underground

Flesh-eating irradiated zombies

- They come out of the ground at the graveyard and everywhere

- If you take away the gravestones at the graveyard, they won’t know where the surface is, so they might just dig down forever

- They’ve got rotten brains

- They were brought back to life through dark science and the folies of man

Vampires

- They’ll get in if they want to get in

- They can get into “your house” without permission, because it is not your house, it is a dwelling and that is a myth that is not true

- You need spiritual defenses against them, not physical ones

-- Garlic

-- Puttanesca Sauce

-- The blood of a priest

-- Smear these things on the threshold of your front door 

- You might want to let them in, and get bit to become a vampire for the advantages

- They worry about the sunlight as much as anybody else

-- Although, it might be difficult to have interpersonal relationships if you want to drink everyone’s blood

Locusts 

- 9 legs

- 15 eyes

- 12 feet tall

- 4 arms

- Very strong

- Speak spanish 

- They will have eaten most people

Teenagers

- Susceptible to glass

Giant mosquitos

6 headed lions

- Originated in Africa

- Very fast

- Very strong

- 4 arms

- Can swim

- Might be able to fly, might have wings

War boys

- If you listen to LITWTC after the apocalypse you will have to become Chris and Will’s war boys

- There are many war boys subcategories, such as madmax war boys, bone veil war boys, and war boys with 4 arms who are very strong

- You will never be able to see their faces because they will be covered up by the shroud of pain which is made of chainmail of human bone

- If you’re 7 feet tall and have fake abs then the war boys will follow you, for they respect your power and you will lead them into Valhalla

- If you’re small and weak then you run because they will chain you to their cars and use your blood

Dead Horses

- Some dead horses will rise from the dead due to radiation

- These horses will be carnivorous

Events

N/A

Setting/General Universe/Fun Facts

There will be blood tornadoes

There will be a lot of sand

- If you don’t expose yourself to sand, your skin will never become coarse and caloused

There will be omega waves

You gotta go through the fire in order to become the diamond

People in bunkers will be weak and unprepared

You can avoid blood poisoning by being in a bunker 

Being underground is not better than being above it

You’re gonna want to fortify your home

- Ex: Use tombstones as a barricade

Graveyards will be a meeting place for death cults, street toughs, teenagers (but now they’ve got swords), all kinds of unsavory elements

- Without the gravestones, they won’t know to congregate there

You’re gonna want to keep your windows covered/boarded up

- Windows are bad news, nobody wants ‘em

- You might wanna see the sun, but the sun can kill you and will only be coming out in short bursts in order to kill you

- Windows will inhibit your ability to sleep in the most effective way

- Glass is sharp, there will be many explosions, it might cut you

The only thing protecting you from the deadly ultraviolet rays of the sun will be the thick cloud of radioactive ash that covers the sun at all hours

- There will be a hole in this miasma, if you go near this hole your skin will be burned off

This world will be better than the world we currently live in, by a long shot

Circadium rhythms are no longer important in the world to come, neither is vitamin D

You should be taking 20 minute naps throughout the day to maximize the time you’re awake, and thus the amount of time that no one can stab you in the back and take your goods

- AKA The Pomodoro method

Throw out all your glass items

- Glass is sharp, there will be many explosions, it might cut you

- Use it as defense against the teenagers

The death cults are not very concerned about pain

- They might have glass sticking out of them that they put there

The world to come will not be run by the jews 

There is no love in the wasteland, only pleasure

- You may find something that reminds you of love in that pleasure, but do not mistake it for that because you cannot trust anyone except yourself, Chris Dunne, and Will Wood

- If you allow yourself to trust you will wake up chained to a radiator, missing a kidney which they took so they could sell it to the War Boys and you can’t get mad because you were gonna do the same thing

- Love is one of the things we will have to sacrifice in the world to come

Familial love may exist, but will be difficult to achieve

- Your babies will be ugly, very strong, and have many arms

- Many terrible sons with many powerful arms

Love might still exist, but it will be difficult and an unfamiliar form of love

- It could look like you and the corpse of your mother in your attic for 20 years

- Stealing your partner’s kidney and selling it to the warboys could be worked into your idea of love

- Never ever forget that they are waiting to betray you and you can have an intimate relationship

- In the wasteland, you find love wherever you can

Many people will have 4 arms and be very strong, or have radioactive blood, or skin made of stone, or have 8 arms and be very very strong

There’s going to be steam everywhere

- Things will run on steam again

Abandon your morals, you might want to hold people ransom

Speed dating in the future

- You will pay a person to facilitate it, they will give you options, 

There will be no police and no government similar to what we know as government today

In order to get Lexapro, you should drive to where they make Lexapro when the world ends

- Bring bullets, PVC pipes, 2x4s, a suit of armor that you made from trash cans, and a handful of glass to protect yourself from the other people at the Lexapro factory who had the same idea

- Your access to quality healthcare will be dependent on the resources you have 

- If you have a lot of purified water and bullets you’ll be able to get what you need

-- You can trade them for Lexapro 

-- Or, stock up on Lexapro to become the future’s pharmacist

-- Lexapro = water and bullets

Eventually Lexapro will no longer exist and you will need to find alternatives, ways to make yourself happy 

- Ex: blood horniness

-- Like bloodlust but horny, as a hobby

Kinkshaming won’t exist in the world to come

There will no longer be any social norms to abide by

See what drugs you can cook up in your basement, because if you can make drugs and bombs, you’ll be a king in the world to come

If you have many Yugioh cards you should hang on to them if you think you can use them

Money will have no value, spend all your money on Yugioh cards or whatever

- Magic the Gathering cards

- A gun

- A water purifier

There will be no gender binary

- Your dad won’t tell you what to wear anymore because he’ll be dead, a zombie, or a crossdresser. Your dad is gay and you will finally get to know him in the world to come

Everybody will be gay in the world to come, you won’t be able to afford not to be

God did this because of you, because of your nature, because of the darkest corners of your psyche, because of the things that we all hold deep down within our eids, because of the evil that lies in wait for all of us

God didn’t do this, we did.

Self hate will be very important, you want to be realistic about what behavoirs lead you to the situation you’re in

You should shoot ammonia into your veins and/or eyes

Don’t beat a dead horse, but do beat a dead horse that rose from the dead because of radiation. Only beat a dead horse if it’s coming for you, and beat it as hard as you can

Anything that comes back to life will be carnivorous

Fun Facts About Chris and Will (and the podcast itself)

Will strangles a cat now and again

God tried and failed to stop them from doing this podcast

Chris and Will will both survive the event, and so will you if you follow their instructions

[rainboneish]

i am genuinely so excited about what Gege will do next cause Jjk is so good for a first serialized manga… also he touched on so many interesting things in this story (some of which he didn’t prioritize for elaboration) that could pop up again (thematically…)

i want this man to do the seinen horror he wanted to do originally (as a genre, not the specific plot)

he also seems quite aware as far as the flaws of jjk go (eg not fleshing out a lot of the female characters and not spending a lot of time letting the characters be characters in general) so i have faith that he would genuinely try to improve on those in his next project

also for the relationships we do get, i love how he writes these deep transcendental bonds between people (mostly satosugu & itafushi but also the zenin twins to focus on a different kind of relationship) where at the end of the day it doesn’t matter if it’s romantic or not cause they undeniably shaped eachother in major ways

i’ve read a lot of shonen, and gotten invested in a lot of interpersonal relationships in them but these two just hit different