#autism awareness everyday

[noisycowboyglitter]

Support Autism Awareness Every Day: Celebrating Neurodiversity

Autism awareness is more than just a month-long campaign; it's a commitment to understanding, acceptance, and inclusivity that should be embraced every day of the year. By supporting autism awareness, you're helping to create a world where individuals on the autism spectrum can thrive.

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Every action, no matter how small, contributes to a larger impact. From educating yourself about autism to advocating for the community, your efforts make a difference. Whether it's wearing blue, donating to autism organizations, or simply spreading kindness and understanding, your support matters.

Let's work together to build a more inclusive society where everyone feels valued and respected. By standing united, we can create a brighter future for individuals with autism.

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Remember, your voice and actions can make a difference. Support autism awareness every day.

Autism awareness is a year-round commitment. It’s about understanding, acceptance, and creating an inclusive world for individuals on the autism spectrum. Every action counts, from educating yourself to supporting autism organizations. Let’s work together to build a community where everyone feels valued and respected. By spreading awareness, fostering empathy, and celebrating diversity, we can make a positive impact. Join us in making a difference every day.

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Let’s build a brighter future together.

Discover thoughtful and meaningful presents for individuals on the autism spectrum. Our collection features a range of products designed to support independence, sensory needs, and personal interests. From practical aids to inspiring accessories, we offer something for everyone. Show your care and understanding with a gift that makes a difference.

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Let's celebrate the unique strengths and abilities of the autism community.

[yandere-kokeshi]

Happy Autism awareness month :]

I'm all proud of you ❤️

[sweetbunnicreations]

patchwork headphone kitty ✨

[my-autistic-self]

From Start to Finish (Poem)

Where do you begin? Can we start over again?So many things, wishing to rewind or vanishMistakes were made, and regrets had been filled Wanted to run, but we have to live From start to finish

[monriatitans]

Hi! I'm Orion Kelly and I'm Autistic. On this video I explore the topic of unmasking after an autism diagnosis later in life. Plus, I share my personal lived experiences as an #actuallyautistic person. #orionkelly #autism #asd #autismsigns #whatautismfeelslike

⏱ Index: 00:00 - Welcome 00:57 - Unmasking 03:45 - Challenges 17:51 - Strategies

🙏 Thanks so much for watching, rating, commenting, sharing and subscribing, I really appreciate it! You're helping me raise the level of understanding and acceptance of the Autistic community. You can show your support for my channel by doing any of these things:

1️⃣ SUBSCRIBE to my channel. 2️⃣ LIKE / COMMENT / SHARE my videos. 3️⃣ SEND me a Super Thanks 4️⃣ Become a channel member:    / @orionkelly   5️⃣ BUY my book: https://orionkelly.com.au/shop

📬 Business Postal Address (Sponsorship proposals, promotional considerations etc) Orion Kelly Media, PO Box 457, Inverloch, VIC, Australia 3996

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🔵 CHANNEL LINKS 🔵 More Videos:    / @orionkelly   My PODCAST Channel:    / @orionkellypodcasts  

🔵 CONNECT 🔵 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/OrionKellyInc Twitter: https://twitter.com/orionkelly Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/orionkelly_... TikTok: @orionkelly_australia Website: https://orionkelly.com.au

🎧 My Friend Autism' PODCAST 🎧 Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast... Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/6d6UVtN... Stitcher: https://www.stitcher.com/podcast/orio...

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ABOUT ORION: Orion Kelly is an #ActuallyAutistic vlogger (YouTuber), podcaster, radio host, actor, keynote speaker and Autistic advocate based in Australia. Orion is all about helping you increase your understanding, acceptance and appreciation of Autistic people.

#AutisticVoices #ActuallyAutistic #Autistic #Autism #OrionKelly #ThatAutisticGuy #ASD

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⛔️*Disclaimer: The videos contained on this channel are for general education and entertainment purposes only and do not constitute professional advice. For professional advice and training seek assistance from a qualified provider. All views are my own and do not represent those of my employers or sponsors. Some images used are stock images.*⛔️

Related: autism, autism diagnosis, Orion Kelly, orionkelly, thatautisticguy, tiktok videos, autistic, autism in adults, autism in women, autism in men, autism spectrum condition, asd, autism spectrum disorder, aspergers, aspergers syndrome, autism in boys, autism in girls, dsm, dsm5, autistic adults, autistic kids, autism mom, autism parent, autism family, autism speaks, autism awareness, autism acceptance, autism at work, am I autistic, adult autism test, autism disclosure, autism therapy, autism prevention, autism meltdown, autistic burnout, autistic behavior, autism symptoms, autism traits, autistic signs, what autism feels like, love on the spectrum, stimming, echolalia, anxiety

[pears-trinkets]

.

[luffynist4]

HI HELLO QUICK SHRINE UPDATE!!!

1- I changed the position of drawings and doodles made by me and my friends

Closeups:

1st photo: All doodles are made by me

2nd photo: The Luffy doodle is made by a friend, the other doodle is made by me

(that btw, that second character is how I doodle myself so teehee Luffy and I are together 🤭🤭)

.

2- I printed out a drawing made by my discord friend Kraken

(she doesn't follow me on here but thank you for your input)

AND THAT'S IT FOR UPDATES BYE-BYE FOR NOW!!!

(26th of April, 2023)

[ender-of-the-sender]

YOU PEOPLE DONT UNDERSTAND-

HOUSE IS AUTISTIC.

They acknowledge it in S3 E4. Wilson heavily suggests to Cuddy that House has Asperger syndrome, but they decide that he can't possibly because he's just a jerk.

Let autistic people be jerks. Let autistic people be assholes WITHOUT USING AUTISM AS AN EXCUSE. IM AN ASSHOLE SOMETIMES. NOT BECAUSE IM AUTISTIC, IM JUST A PRICK. Yes I understand that one of the reasons for him being such a dickhead is because of his leg, he's in pain all the time. But thats even more of a reason to believe that it is a separate issue.

They say that he wants to relate to the kid because then he can get away with being a dick, but he does relate to the kid. He hates change, he thrives on consistency, he needs stimulation or he gets bored and frustrated, he isolates himself- and when he does have to interact, it's with the same people he sees everyday.

House can be autistic AND an asshole. Those two things do not cancel each other out.

(Edit: as a disabled autistic person, I see myself in House in ways that I never have in canonically autistic characters. I am aware it's never confirmed in the show. I am aware that not everyone agrees with this headcanon, and genuinely that is all it is, a headcanon. I'm not Hugh Laurie. This was just a rant about how House is treated while showing, what I and many other people, including characters inside the show, view as symptoms of ASD or other such disorders. I apologise if it came across as lying or spreading false information.)

[rotting-brains]

My sculpting teacher needed a slate of concrete and plaster broken. He asked the class who wanted to break it and I volunteered because I find breaking stuff entertaining.

He told me I couldn't do it because I'm "too violent". I would have been fine with him telling me he wanted someone else to do it or just that he didn't want me, but instead he had to add the violent part. I asked him what he meant by it and why he thinks I'm "too violent". He told me he saw it from another work we did where we just scribbled on paper. I repeated to him multiple times that my scribbles had no meaning and that I had no emotion as Inwas making them, but he insisted that I had a lot of pent up rage and am violent. My lines where indeed very harsh, and I did rip the paper, as well as holding the pencil in a very firm and unconventional way, but I did it because that was stimming for me. I was stimming and he saw it as violent. It doesn't matter if he knows (believes actually, I have told him I'm autistic and he decided to brush it off and act like my brain isn't completely different from his) I'm autistic or not, I told him it was a way to soothe myself, not my anger and he decided to not believe me.

I got angry, I believe I had all the rights to be, but I didn't yell at him or raise my voice, I simply sat down and started mumbling to myself (and my friends).

Later he called me to come look at how to break the slate. I said I wasn't interested, and was too angry at the moment to go look, and watching would have just made me angrier. He got very angry at me and started yelling (I, a child, did not raise my voice at any point during the interaction.), forcing me to come look. When I went to watch what he was doing, I said I wasn't interest in doing it and he yelled at me again, even louder this time, telling me to not to be annoying and polemical (yk when you constantly explain yourself and say what you think all the time? the thing that autistic people do?). When I went back to my friends, he followed me to keep yelling at me.

I did not get an explanation as to why he yelled at me. A grown man in his 60s yelled at a child, an highschooler. If I, the child, was mature enough to not raise my voice and then ask my classmates if they thought I was violent. If I were to be the problem I would have found a way to fix it.

I am not a dead artist from the 1800s whose artwork is yours to interpret. I am an autistic teenager who is extremely skilled at describing his emotions.

You, as a teacher, do not get to yell at me, a student, because you do not understand me.

I'm tired of being excluded in social settings because those who have more authority than me decided that I am a beast that must be put down, and I'm tired of teachers hating me and trying to get me out of their class because they do not know how to deal with neurodivergent students.

[todayontumblr]

Tuesday April 11.

Autism Acceptance Month.

Today is Tuesday, April 11, which means we are eleven days into the 30 blessed days of #autism acceptance month, 2023 (previously known as #autism awareness month). April is the month and April 2nd is the day—World Autism Day, to be precise—and these first weeks of spring are a time for uplifting autistic voices of all identities, advocating for acceptance, progress, and sharing in the community's joy. It began back in 1972, as National Autistic Children’s Week, and was founded by The Autism Society to raise awareness and campaign for change in communities, schools, medical facilities, and businesses. And this same vital, wonderful work continues today, and not just for the month of April, of course—but every day of every year. The lived reality is that every day of every month is Autism Acceptance Month, and it is on all of us to do better.

Progress has been made, but there is still so much to be done in the struggle for equality and justice for all those living under the broad church of autism. And if these words sound hollow, then simply read the moving story of Debra Vines, of The Answer Inc., and of her autistic son Jason. She articulates everyday struggles that families can face, and the many joys they experience, too. Her message is simple, but powerful: don't give up on milestones.  

Want to know more, get involved, or donate? Here is just some of an impressive selection of charities sourced by the fine people at the Applied Behavior Analysis Programs Guide, where you can find the complete list of 20 charities and organizations:

The Asperger/Autism Network

The Autistic Women & Nonbinary Network

Autism Research Institute

The Autistic Self Advocacy Network

The Autism National Committee

Happy Tuesday, folks, and here's to better.

[sharkboywrites]

Hello! I'd love to see a fic of Astarion x Autistic! Gn! Reader

Preferably, could sensory and social difficulties be included? I think it would be oh-so-relatable if reader was oblivious to Astarion's flirting because social cues are hard

Thank you!

Astarion With an Autistic S/O

A/N: wow my inbox blew up after opening requests for bg3, not complaining tho I’m very glad I get to write for people :) I kept this sort of general because everyone’s experiences are different

Gn reader, autistic reader

- At first Astarion thought you were odd, but he never took into consideration that it was something you could control

- He did judge you for your odd behavior, but as he got closer to you he found it more entertaining than anything

- He loved teasing you for missing social cues and general behavior in social situations (when you’re not overwhelmed)

- Although it did start to annoy him when his blatant flirting attempts would go right over your head

- I mean come on, he couldn’t get more obvious if he tried

- He found himself getting more and more frustrated everyday with his attempts to seduce you not working at all

- When you got closer and opened up to him about your autism, it all made sense to him

- Then he flirted with you in a way you would understand, a way that you wouldn’t be completely oblivious too

- When it comes to your sensory issues, he’s not exactly sure what to do

- It depends if he can actually help or not

- If you have issues with heat, he’s a good source to cool down considering he’s a vampire, but if you have issues with the cold then not so much

- If he notices you’re having a bad time in a crowded place, he’ll do his best to get you out of the situation, even though he enjoys those environments himself

- If you don’t want to let him feed on your neck, whether it be issues with pain, blood, or the closeness of it, it’s alright, he’ll find another suitable source

- He’s also keen on when someone may be trying to trick you when you might not be aware yourself

- Or gods forbid someone tries flirting with you, he’s very passive aggressive while removing you from the situation

- He’ll lecture you later on being more aware when people are flirting with you, and tell you when people are flirting with you and not just being friendly

- Whole he may not understand most of your issues , he really does his best to help you, even if he may be a bit aggressive when trying

[noisycowboyglitter]

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[zebulontheplanet]

Saw a post and it really got me thinking.

The post was talking about why don’t lower support needs, higher masking individuals even believe that higher support needs, low masking, “severely autistic” people, exist. And that got me really thinking. Because, I do think they know we exist. I just don’t think they want too.

I don’t think they want to know we exist. They know we exist, but keep us on the back burner. They live in ignorance bliss of us. I have what some people would think of as severe autism. Im nonverbal (although nonverbal later in life. But outside people don’t care about that. They see nonverbal as nonverbal), I’m intellectually disabled, need help in everyday life, etc. but I’m in the middle. I’m moderate support needs. To me, I’m not severely autistic. But to society, I am considered and seen as severely autistic because society doesn’t have the understanding of moderate autism yet. They don’t understand it. And I’ve seen more times than I can count that severe autism doesn’t exist. Not because they don’t believe in severe autism the label itself because it’s “harmful” but because they don’t believe that it’s just caused by autism. They often believe that’s it’s caused by comorbidities. Like ID, or cerebral palsy, or apraxia/dyspraxia, or mobility issues, or genetic conditions, and so on. Although none of this is bad.

They believe that autism itself can’t create severe autism. Which…isn’t true. Before, it was believed that severe autism was the only type of autism. That it was the only type that existed and if you weren’t severely autistic then you weren’t autistic. Then more research happened, then social media happened, and now..white, lower support needs, high masking, late diagnosed individuals are the majority of what’s being centered. And, that isn’t bad. We need awareness of all autism. But when one type of autism gets centered, it becomes a problem. It becomes the new norm. It becomes what everyone expects out of autism now. Which, isn’t true. Autism all of all types and traits exists. Autism of all support needs exists.

When people say severe autism doesn’t exist, they’re ignoring and saying that a BIG percentage of autistic people don’t exist. They’re saying that we aren’t real. That we aren’t on the internet, or in the communities they live in, or in their schools, or whatever. We’re everywhere. Severe autism is still a thing. It isn’t a misdiagnosis. It isn’t from comorbities, although if someone’s autism is more severe from comorbidities then that isn’t bad.

I think a lot of people need to be more aware of severe autism. And not just severe autism like me or my mutuals, or the people you see here on tumblr. But the ones with even MORE severe autism. The ones who live in group homes, residentials, institutions, and so on. The ones who aren’t on the internet. The ones who aren’t here blogging about their lives. We need to be aware of them too. We need to believe they exist, and believe that their autism is real.

Don’t erase severe or profound autism.

[wheelie-sick]

this is going to be a long post, it's kinda just me writing all my raw unfiltered thoughts on ABA therapy as someone who actually went through it

-> TW for ABA therapy, child abuse, suicide <-

I was functionally diagnosed with autism at the age of 3 but it wasn't until I was 13 that I was actually formally evaluated for it and given an official diagnosis. I was behind in social skills and developmental skills

[ID: "was also described as a sensory seeker. She does not currently have any friends and has struggled to make and maintain peer relationships throughout her childhood. Difficulties with social skills were initially noted when she was in preschool (years before the onset of clinically significant symptoms of anxiety and"]

[ID: "Social functions: [blank]'s mother also completed a questionnaire rating her social responsiveness. Her responses on the SRS-2 indicated that [blank] is demonstrating severe deficits in the areas of Social Communication (reciprocal social interaction and nonverbal and verbal communication), Social Motivation (motivation to engage in social-interpersonal behavior) and Social Awareness (perceiving social cues) and moderate deficits in the areas of Social Cognition (understanding social cues). Severe Repetitive and Restrictive Behaviors (stereotypical behaviors or highly restricted interests) were also reported. The total T-score on the SRS-2 indicates severe deficiencies in reciprocal behavior that are likely to result in interference in everyday social interaction"]

[ID: "%ile) are mildly impaired, while her social skills are moderately impaired (2nd %ile). By domain, demonstrates mildly to moderately impaired abilities in six adaptive skills areas, including self care (9th %ile), communication (5th %ile), home living (5th %ile), self-direction (2nd %ile), social (2nd %ile), and leisure (1st %ile)"]

and ultimately all this ended up with the number one recommendation after my autism evaluation being for ABA therapy.

[ID: "Recommendations: Based on the above results, the following recommendations are made for [blank] and her family.

1. ABA therapy: [blank] May benefit from an intensive treatment program to foster cognitive and communication skills, improve independence and adaptive functioning, and help manage interfering behaviors (i.e home-based, 1:1 instruction, task analysis, etc.) Most private and community programs are based on principals of operant conditioning and taught in home with 1:1 instruction"]

*I'm getting misgendered here. my pronouns are he/him

"operant conditioning"-- like a dog 🐕🐕. woof woof.

my mom didn't know any better so she put me in ABA therapy with the Center for Autism and Related Disorders. she regrets this. I regret this more.

my autism evaluation was cruel, it dissected all my flaws as if I was a bug under a microscope in a highschool laboratory. my evaluation was passed around to ABA therapists, a line of high schoolers peering through the microscope examining the most vulnerable parts of me.

and I choose the highschool analogy quite deliberately. most of the ABA therapists at my center were recent highschool graduates with no degree and little training. they knew nothing about autism and had no qualifications. you need more certificates to become a professional dog trainer than to become a professional human trainer.

"operant conditioning"

and I wish I could say it was just a poor choice of words but ABA therapy was dog training for children. my dad used to call me an "it" and somehow I felt less dehumanized by that than the entire experience I had in ABA therapy.

I was the oldest person at my center (I did not receive in home therapy) with the next oldest being approximately 3 years younger than me. at the time I felt babied. I was surrounded by 5 year olds and I was treated as if I was not just a 5 year old but an autistic 5 year old and anyone who has been a visibly autistic 5 year old knows what that feels like. I had escaped being an autistic child and now I was being treated like one again. The head of the program tried to console me by telling me adults received their services too.

[ID: "Following the principles of applied behavior analysis, CARD has developed a treatment approach for children and adolescents with"]

this was the first lie they told me. CARD does not work with adults.

I was not allowed the privileges of being a 13 year old. because I was an autistic 13 year old and therefore I was the equivalent of a 5 year old. I was in psychotherapy at the same time and I had grown very accustomed to some level of freedom in therapy. I was allowed to use the bathroom independently. in ABA therapy I was not allowed to use the bathroom independently. I tried once, me and my therapist were on an "outing" to the grocery store and I told my therapist I was going to the bathroom and walked off and I got a very stern talking to about how I needed to "stop eloping" and if I didn't stop it would "become a behavior"

eloping became a common theme used to control me and squeeze money out of my parents.

out of everything I hated in my life, including severe physical abuse at home (which they did not report), I hated ABA therapy the most. I would repeatedly make serious threats of suicide to try to get out of ABA. no one cared. everyone thought I was being dramatic but there were times I wrote out suicide notes and ABA was among the reasons I listed. ABA made me feel hopeless, depressed, revolting, disgusting, inferior, and less than human. between ABA, my home life, and my social life I had never felt so hated and it was boiling through my skin. I acted out, I was bullying people, I was behaving recklessly, I was starting fights, and all this only made the oppressive force of ABA crack down on me harder. I was a cat hissing in the corner begging to be left alone and ABA brought a net to try to tame me further. every time I scratched back it was listed as a reason I needed to be there.

I was "disruptive" and "rebellious" and "uncooperative" and "resistant to treatment" and no one could figure out why I was "regressing" despite me shouting the answer. I was screaming and no one was willing to hear me

I hated myself and my autism. my autism diagnosis made me want to die. I didn't feel freed by it or understood I felt ashamed and disgusted. I felt incompetent and like I had failed. I was ashamed to be at ABA, it was my biggest secret. I'd lie to my friends about why I couldn't hang out and I'd lie to people in public about who the woman I was with was and I'd lie about all of it to try to cover up my most shameful secret.

ABA therapy did nothing but foster this. In ABA therapy I was mocked for being autistic and what was happening only clicked when a young kid, maybe only 4 or 5, was flapping his hands and a therapist took out her phone and recorded him. we were circus animals. it was all an entertaining show to them while they poked and prodded at us with metaphorical hot irons to make us dance. the first time a therapist laughed at me for rocking back and forth I wanted to throw up. I almost did. it was systematic bullying of children I was forced to watch and experience.

my point is: the last place on earth I wanted to be was the ABA center.

so of course I tried to leave. my mom would bring me McDonald's and I'd beg, sobbing real tears, to leave early because only she could sign me out. every time I'd go to meet her I'd be marked as "eloping" and my hotel stay in hell would get extended.

my natural response to a stressful environment (leaving) was pathologized. I was eloping this way and that way and never once did I actually, truly elope. that word was a weapon used against me. they used my "elopement" to justify extending my stay to my parents. they ate it right up.

they argued I needed to stay there because I was making friends. this was true, I'm great at getting along with children it's part of why I want to go into pediatrics, but I had also made real friends with people my age at my highschool. ABA was getting in the way. I wanted to spend time with my friends outside of school but ABA took up all my time from the minute I left school to 6pm and all day on weekends. I was doing a full time job's worth of hours. I complained about how I was missing out on spending time with my real friends (as in, over the age of 7) and I was met with almost no wiggle room in my schedule. I was allowed to pre-plan time to spend with friends but every time my friend group wanted to do something spontaneously? I had to say no, and I had to lie about why. my friends would share stories about driving around town with 2 people in the group stuffed in the trunk, of hanging out in the woods together, of taking part in ordinary highschool activities as ordinary high schoolers and it made me cry because I was not an ordinary highschooler and I was not allowed to participate in ordinary highschool activities. I was one of those weird, unpleasant, socially awkward autistic people instead. eventually, they just stopped inviting me. I was forced into the out group by ABA.

I'll never get that back. I'll never get a chance to be a normal highschooler ever again.

when I did have time available to hang out with people I never had the energy to. at the time I was living with an undiagnosed physical disability and I was begging to see a doctor but no one would believe that it wasn't just anxiety. the people who believed me least of all were the people at the center.

I was constantly told I was trying to get out of therapy by "feigning" very real pain and fatigue. I tried to explain spoon theory, and that I had limited spoons, and in response they made a task for me to name things to "regenerate spoons" that's not how it works. I wasn't the only physically disabled person there. there was a wheelchair user who was constantly forced to stand for periods of time despite being in agony doing it. he wasn't allowed rewards until he did it.

rewards were used to train us like dog treats are used with dogs. sometimes the treats were fun! I'd get to cook, play Mario kart, and go on outings. other times the treats were "using the correct name and pronouns for me." I'd constantly be threatened with deadnaming and misgendering if I was being "noncompliant."

misgendering because of my autism was a theme in my life. my neuropsych evaluation report misgendered me. my parents misgendered me. the staff at ABA misgendered me. at one point the head of the program suggested that my "gender confusion" was because of my autism. my abusive father latched onto this and still claims that the reason I'm "confused" about my gender is because the evil transgenders tricked me into thinking I'm one of them because I'm autistic and therefore easily impressionable.

the two therapists I had were nice because I refused to work with the others. they weren't on a power trip and both eventually left because they realized the harm the organization was doing. other therapists were not so kind. other therapists were on a power trip, because in their mind lording over autistic 5 year olds (and autistic 14 year olds) makes them powerful and strong. occasionally I'd get stuck with one of the other therapists when my usual therapists were out. they would talk to me in a baby voice. they would make fun of me for rocking back and forth, for not making eye contact, for talking about Skyrim "too much" and generally just for being autistic.

I never really knew what I was supposed to be doing, just that I was doing it wrong. the therapists there rarely actually told me what my tasks were they'd just mark yes or no on them, judging me for something I wasn't aware of. I was never actually supposed to graduate, I was never supposed to get out, if they wanted me to succeed they would have taught and explained what was happening but I was intentionally left in the dark.

I continued threatening suicide to get out. no one took me seriously. I was seriously considering it. there's no happy conclusion where someone finally realized it was all wrong, or I figured out how to be allistic and graduated, or I felt more comfortable there. I only got out when covid struck and shut the center down. it's gone now, replaced by a family advice center. I hope their advice for autistic children is to never put them in ABA.

there is no grander message here just suffering. I'm sorry if you were expecting some sort of great point at the end of this. there's not one. it happened, I wish it didn't, and I hope no one else experiences what I did ever again.

okay to reblog

[my-autistic-self]

Random Prompt #139

What are your morning rituals? What does the first hour of your day look like? I can only say that my morning ritual is mainly involved work days. I get up and get dressed first. Brush my teeth, wash my face and fix my hair for the day; you know, basic stuff. Make breakfast and making sure that I got all of my stuff ready before I walk out of the door. It helps when using the “Routine Flow” app…

[mogamuncher]

An exhaustive headcanon post about Bruce Wayne's unhealthy mentality.

trigger warning for: mentions C-PTSD, Survivor's Guilt, shitty dietary habits, insomnia, self-ableism, masking, workaholism, somewhat shady parenting, technically self-harm, and passive suicidal ideation.

Ok, so:

•Bruce def feels like he has to earn things. Like affection, respect, or just any form of a good thing happening to him.

•He earns his life, or so he says, but it's more like he's trying to earn the right to be alive, which is a wild thing to believe.

•Bruce is autistic as all hell, right? Diagnosed and everything, his parents used to pay for private treatment since the mental health system in Gotham is so ass. Well, after they died, Bruce just, doesn't do any of that anymore, he avoids therapists or psychologists like the plague, even ones outside of Arkham. He has a whole lot of Other Things™ outside of autism now, but he still refuses to go get proper help.

•Similarly, Bruce would rather die than to actually mention it to anyone. Like, yeah, as Brucie Wayne he's definitely masking hard (to the point where it's kinda upsetting and he gets overwhelmed), but like, he also doesn't tell shit to the whole rest of the Batfam, or the Justice League. The only person that knows that Bruce is autistic AND just generally mentally ill/traumatized, is fucking Alfred.

•This causes people to misunderstand him a lot, but part of him feels like that's more "deserved". Like, he thinks that he'd hate to be judged by his mental illness because he he dislikes the idea of his actions being justified retroactively of excused by his illnesses, not being self-aware enough to notice that this horrifically heightened sense of hyper-responsability about just fucking everything in his life is itself, a trauma response. Also, he's the world's biggest hypocrite, who famously believes that other rogues and people like Jason Todd need to be helped instead of killed or put down, going directly against his own attitude towards himself.

•He genuinely believes that whole "[insert mental illness here] is not an excuse to [insert a behavior or symptom of aforementioned mental illness here]", but like, only towards himself. To everyone else he rightfully thinks that stuff is bullshit.

•Bruce puts himself up to some crazy standards, actually. He works non-stop as both Brucie, Bruce, and Batman, always doing something, unable to stay still or even sleep. He skips meals, neglects his well-being, he puts everything on the line and expects himself to do it everyday, every hour, without fail, every single time.

•His kids think that he's neurotic, they're kinda right, the Justice League think he's too paranoid, they're right too, Gotham city thinks he's a saviour, it's true, the rogues think he's a monster, that's fair as well. Alfred? He just thinks Bruce is hurt, he's the most right of all.

•Part of this is a form of punishment, atonement for being alive, for surviving that fateful night when his parents didn't, for daring to go on with life when they're both sixteen feet under, for having the audacity to raise a family, the gall of having friends, the sheer nerve to even consider having a romantic relationship, when his parents couldn't even hug him. Not anymore. He's here, not them.

•And it kills him, because he saw it, saw them die, saw them gurgle on their own blood and sat with their bodies until the police arrived, this is what led him to become Batman, to mask as Brucie, to guide so many young people away from being like him as Bruce. So how dare he, how dare he be happy when they died? How dare he forget that alley, for even a second? How could he? Didn't he love them? Didn't he make a promise to live out the rest of his life in a mission to prevent events like this?

•It's like he's in a toxic relationship with two corpses, they're cold and their eyes follow him, he's hollow and blind to anything but them. Part of him would love to argue that his parents, Thomas and Martha Wayne themselves, would prefer to see him happy and fulfilled. Another part of him remembers gunshots, blood spatter, and the sound of choked gurgling, and Bruce spirals all over again.

•Perhaps he's waiting for this life for kill him, finish the job that gun didn't do years ago, kill him like his parents, hurt him so deeply he can't recover, destroy him until he's repented for being so inherently horrible. Because he is, he knows he is, he's neurotic, paranoid, a saviour complex having monster, this is what he aimed for, he seeked out this outcome, just waiting to be put down like those before him.

•He's passionate about his cause, sure, but that's surface level. The front used to keep the image of an asshole neurotic paranoid man that has a saviour complex, instead of exposing the truth behind himself. Who he really is.

•A child, that's who he is, a kid reliving his worst bad day over and over and over again.

•He earns his life, he'd earned this.