#onto the necessary tags
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
luffynist4 · 1 year ago
Text
HI HELLO QUICK SHRINE UPDATE!!!
1- I changed the position of drawings and doodles made by me and my friends
Tumblr media
Closeups:
Tumblr media Tumblr media
1st photo: All doodles are made by me
2nd photo: The Luffy doodle is made by a friend, the other doodle is made by me
(that btw, that second character is how I doodle myself so teehee Luffy and I are together 🤭🤭)
.
2- I printed out a drawing made by my discord friend Kraken
Tumblr media
(she doesn't follow me on here but thank you for your input)
AND THAT'S IT FOR UPDATES BYE-BYE FOR NOW!!!
(26th of April, 2023)
0 notes
a-tale-of-legends · 7 months ago
Text
( random conversation I thought of, not sure if it's something that I would consider canon. Might be ooc for characters)
Blue: Aaaaand that's everything that happened today! Which.... isn't a lot but whatever.
Red: ....
Blue: .....( Leans back) Sooooooooo. How's things for you? You haven't, ah, really said much since you came back down Mt. Silver...( Tries to perk up a bit,forcing a smile) You're usually such a chatter box, you know?! Gotta be something interesting for ya today, right?
Red: .....
Blue: ........( Grimaces slightly, still trying to keep smiling. His voices lowers, as if the whole world would hear if he goes any louder) Come on Red, you- throw me a bone here, something-
Red: ( his eyebrows furrow slightly) .....
Blue: ( immediately back pedals) O-only if you wanna, I don't - you don't - ( he sighs, exasperated) Green? H-have you at least talked to Green?
Red: ( he flinches at that. The punch to his face still fresh in his mind. It was a year ago. And even so-) .....
Blue: ( he should back off. He really should-) Your mom? Have you at least talked to your mom?
Red: ( that causes him to outright glare at his....friend? Rival? Babysitter? What are they now? He doesn't know. But he doesn't like this conversation.) . . . .
Blue: R-right! Right, of course you- ( he takes in a breath. Why does he feel so sweaty.) Sorry. Sorry, that was just- Let's just forget I said anything, yeah?
Red: ( his glare softens, looking at his....whatever they are to each other, with concern. He doesn't know if he'll get used to Blue Oak apologizing for anything ever. He raises his hand to sign-)
Blue: ( he raises his hand before Red does, eyes pleading) Let's just forget I said anything, okay? ( Please )
Red: ..... ( He lowers his hand. He hates the look blue is giving him. He blames himself for it, as always) ( Okay )
#so. okay.#the idea is that this is red post mt. silver. maybe like. a few weeks in?#red is struggling to readjust and blue is being. very cautious about his friend. perhaps too much#blue wants to help but doesn't know how. doesn't want to overstep. doesn't want red to run away again bc he scared him off#red doesn't know what he's doing. he's scared. he doesn't know what to think of others. green punched him a year ago#and Blue is acting weird ever since he got back down#he doesn't even know if they're rivals anymore. if they're still friends#( blue n green both have visited red on the mountain for a year before he finally came down )#( of course they're still friends. they want to be friends again. but red latches onto their rage and hurt and uses it against himself)#Red and Blue even back in their old rivarly prided themselves in being able to understand each other#no word necessary. that just got each other.#but now thar connection seems to be....lost?#they don't know how to talk to each other. too scared to do so.#so there's cases like these where Blue is trying to push but not wanting to ruin things ( more than he already has)#and Red who is beyond scared to really. have these conversations even if he hates seeing Blue like this. with him specifically.#and they both just agree to. not talk about it. ignore the pushing. for now anyway#again i'm not entirely sure if this is the direction I want for these two post mt. silver#but this conversation came to me so ( shrugs)#r rambles#legendverse#reguri#trainer red#trainer blue#rival blue#tldr of all those tags: red and blue are teens who don't exactly know how to communicate and navigate their feelings just yet
46 notes · View notes
triple-starsss · 10 months ago
Note
(barring the details lol,) i really like that shadow was adopted and "normal" actually! it really gives us the non-fantasy perspective of being able to focus on the ethics of his childhood ^-^
cus like. can you imagine the f*cking headlines and shit if any of that stuff is publicized (since he's an idol now)?
"Gerald adopted an orphan to run crazy tests on him!!!" "how could anyone do that to him? ;;;;;" "(insert smth about doxing Gerald) (scandal)"
people would go wild, i think! in both good and bad ways lol (the fun part)! :D
LMAOO THE DOXXING
but yeah!! when you take out all the 'ultimate lifeform' stuff and see what Shadow went through on a more grounded level - its insanely fucked up!! I felt as though without those experiences, i'd be writing an entirely different character so i wanted to incorporate them in a way that felt believable in this universe absdjf
54 notes · View notes
e-n-t-r-o-p-i-c-f-r-o-g · 2 days ago
Text
I stg every time I go on Instagram I'm bombarded with fandom/media takes that make me feel straight up wrong with what I'm doing and how I'm engaging with fandom
(Long ass ramble in the tags. I have no idea what I'm getting at or if this is even my arena to talk about it).
#there was this post#it was a BL genre meme thingy that was innocent enough#yet nearly half the comments were along the lines of#“gross. i dont associate with fetishizers.”#and then the replies are like#“it's fine to like that content so long as you're queer and not a straight cis girl”#which i 100% understand why those comments are there#and how they could very well apply to me#it still makes me feel like ive done something bad by liking something that's otherwise really fun and without ill intent#and it also makes me start mentally checking and testing whether or not im queer enough#ocd sticky brain moment#i managed to close instagram before i kept scrolling forever down those comments#which im proud of#but yeah#i dont know how to feel about this#i just want to like what i like without some ulterior evil meaning behind it that i cant even control consciously because it is an innate-#-part of me that i then impart onto any media i consume#tainting it bc i am me#(editing tags on mobile is horrible)#(but i want to clarify that although i understand where those comments come from on like a social level [stereotypical unhinged fujoshi idk]#(i dont agree with those comments)#(but a part of me maybe does a little? which makes it worse for me tbh like is this a necessary ego death or am i self flagellating?)#(is being asexual/amorphous romantically oriented girl with some extra internal steps unknown [E R R O R] enough to like/make BL?)#(should anything be “enough?” who do we owe it to to be “enough?”)#(is this another case of hating girls exploring sexuality?)#(or is it fetishizing?)#wheee brain spiral#its been a Time yall
8 notes · View notes
setevulpo · 7 months ago
Text
i was thinking about the archangels and how fucked up being possessed by one of them would be and this was created. headcanons on what each (non-bloodline) vessel would go through while possessed! bon appétit
-
michael
their vessel runs hot, grace a constant thrum under the skin that imitates a heartbeat well enough for those unaware not to notice. the blue glow that takes over their eyes upon the slightest provocation calms only when their enemies are on the ground, enochian seared into what’s left of their skin once the light dies down.
the heat that follows them shapes the air into wings too big for the space they’re in, even in the most expansive fields earth has. they have to watch out when stepping on grass, or stretching their wings too far into the trees, or fire will follow them too.
eventually it starts to burn, whatever body they’re in. the grace running through its veins turns closer to lava with each passing day, flares deep inside its chest and expands down to its hands when their anger rises. bruises showing up in blues no matter how old they are, burns in its skin hot to the touch.
a smell of fire and smoke follows them when they leave the vessel, and they set ablaze anything in their path on the way to a new body. the largest fires are caused by their rage, charred eyes and hearts left behind on their path.
-
lucifer
there's something freezing under their skin, somehow encompassing entire rooms and digging into the skin of everyone around them. the air around them is cold enough to kill, frostbite reaching others before turning their own vessel's hands red with it. its lips are bitten red and raw because the taste of blood is almost intoxicating.
garbled enochian slips through in a constant downpour, because they are an angel and won't taint their tongue with a human language despite the way it burns their vessel's mouth. the easiest way to find them is following the trail of frozen footsteps and the scent of rust so strong it can be tasted.
the hypothermia that sets after some time is what leads them to find a new body, when the one they are wearing becomes too sluggish and their grace starts slipping through the dry cracks in its skin. all that's left is a cold body with its eyes frozen shut.
the earth bleeds on their path, water freezes red by being in their proximity, plants burn and die from the frost. their grace whips through the air and leaves bloody slashes in the skin of anyone who dares get in their way, the wounds never closing completely.
-
raphael
their electricity can be felt under the skin of their vessel, sometimes shocking those who try landing their hands on it. their presence makes people’s hair stand on end, their voice resonates through the room in a way that makes it impossible to ignore. the fissures that appear on its skin from one day to the next are eerily similar to lightning.
the eyes of their vessel gain an unnatural brightness, something fiery that is just wrong when compared to the decaying state of the rest its body. their words flow in a way that’s almost hypnotic, calming until the next strike of their blade.
an ill-suited vessel can’t hold them for long. the tremors starting in its hands show that, as do the bouts of dizziness that hit them every so often. by the time their vessel starts losing its sight they have a new victim picked, their electricity having already eroded the brain of the previous.
it seems as if thunderstorms follow their grace, both rain and lightning falling close but never hitting them. wildfires start in their wake, raindrops never quite reaching their destination, and the injured miraculously recovering in hours.
-
gabriel
there’s a wind hiding under their skin, usually unnoticeable to the common eye. they’re light on their feet, eyes travelling through every corner of the room they’re in, the air around them somehow feeling heavy with the power they chase. at times it blows stronger, the whole of them looking longer, bigger than their vessel, but it doesn’t last long anymore.
their vessel’s skin grows dry with time, tearing open with each snap of their fingers, grace pouring from its hands and giving life to lilies wherever it falls. all of their vessels’ hands are burnt by the time they leave, skin too fragile to handle their grace.
erosion is what kills their bodies, the debris that always seems to fly back towards them easily chipping away at flesh and bone. what’s left of the body after they take their leave isn’t enough to keep it alive, not with the dust coating its lungs.
tornadoes follow the path of their grace, leaving destruction and chaos between their vessels. they are angry, and they are frustrated, and the mayhem they create is the singular way they can be heard. the debris lifted by their rage is flung as far as their grace can reach.
-
#spn archangels#supernatural#spn#alright time for the rant in tags#michael's whole thing was inspired by this really cool phenomenon called blue lava... it's actually fire in its majority though#lucifer got the blood falls from antarctica based on their little comment in swan song about actually being cold#raphael's is the dry thunderstorm cause they (the storms) are really cool and i feel they (raphael) should get to actually destroy some >>#<< stuff with their lightning#gabriel's inspiration was the dust devil (which i spent a good ten minutes laughing about) but also tornadoes in general#i lost inspiration with them a bit but i think gabe would probably be the most human of the four?? so he would be a little more normal#also i think each would have preferences of who to possess...#michael picks people who are dying or fighters when they're possessing out of the bloodline#they looked at adam and saw a little pet... both died and was a fighter... also looked directly at their form... pet vessel#lucifer likes messing around with people who fell in some way... or are disgraced#they hop onto powerful people from time to time if it's necessary... also spent a bunch of time hopping at random#raphael possesses unhealthy people.. and then leaves them in a worse state <3 but at least they can't feel it (in raphael's mind)#probably got attached to donnie cause his body was taking longer to succumb... then balthazar salted him#gabriel only had one vessel... good for them#anyway gabriel would go for travelers or anyone who spent time moving around#they need their witness protection#anyway rant over i wrote all of this while delirious from a migraine#have fun folks#seven.
17 notes · View notes
icewindandboringhorror · 9 months ago
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
More misc. daily life pictures and such
#image commentary in tags once again since they don't allow captions anymore and I feel weird using the alt text for that --#1 & 2 - Very bright pretty looking sky !#2. HUGE icicle that looked like you could kill someone with it or something.. Pulled from near a gutter on the side of a building#3. & 4 & 5 - various images from a silly party I had where I pretended to be some elf king turning like 204 years old lol (also not like#a REAL party. Only my roommates were there really and we're all in the same household bubble.#just to clarify. I would never dare have a large party anyway given#my hermitous nature but on top of that.. didn't want there to be some implication that I'm having a Party while covid is still ongoing lol.#NEVER.. But I do love dressing up as some fantasy character so much.. The only thing that could ever bring a true hermit wizard#to engage with others socially is the prospect of connecting it somehow to fantasy worlds and costumes lol. One must simply dress up#as a silly 200 year old man from time to time and pretend you've never seen a balloon before in your life. etc.#6. bapy boye... feets#7. The main food that I made for the elderly elf man 'party'. which was a Deconstructed Beef Wellington (kind of as ajoke since I watch s#o many silly cooking competition shows and they always make stuff 'deconstructed' at the last minute when under time limits or whatever.)#I've wanted to make beef wellington a few times but Ithink to do it well I'd need like..an actual kitchen and a lot of time and#an oven that fully works to bake things and etc. etc. So I thought this would be an easier method. A thick steak cut round to kind of mimi#c the round tenderloin or whatever it is in a wellington. instead of the puff pastry being wrapped around - I just did star shaped cut outs#of pastry and baked them and put them on top (to go with the star theme). instead of mushroom duxelles being wrapped around in pastry#its in a little circle under the steak. and instead of mustard being brushed onto the meat I made a mustard gravy sauce type of thing#Then of course asparagus on the side.. my favorite... Though I know some wellington#also has a layer of prosciutto I think. or I saw one person use crepes. I didn't feel it was necessary to incorporate that too lol#8. bapy son helping me do a giant puzzle that took me hours and I had no idea it was actually that large of a puzzle#until I started putting it together and for some reason it made me stressed by the end instead of relaxed lol.. puzzle fatigue#photo diary
16 notes · View notes
umbrellajam · 8 months ago
Text
🙃 mmkay
*opens up AO3 Additional Tags to Exclude*
Tumblr media
12 notes · View notes
min-kit · 9 months ago
Text
"why are you dropping e**ie for to**y? you just want to see bvck with a man, it's not about him having a good relationship!"
btch i could give you a 100 reasons why T0mmy is a good relationship for Bvck (not that any of you would listen) & that there's nothing wrong with enjoying the actual canon queer couple on my screen over a fanon one just cuz YOU think the story is heading in a direction that has never been promised to you and you can't let go of your fandom ideals.
in the mean time i'll be over here cheering on Bvck's canon happiness with his possible soon-to-be future canon boyfriend.
6 notes · View notes
sallymew4 · 10 months ago
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
drew @vinnfeyntheinsane’s lovely (currently unnamed) character !!! shes so gorg <3
Tumblr media
had an epiphany after sending the finished product. if only i had thought of a brown skirt.. . … but ANYWAYS ! go check out vinn they like silly nerd stuff like classical music and books !!!! also they are nice to me
3 notes · View notes
amorremanet · 1 year ago
Text
.
Happy Monday, this Barbie is seething in her corner because her fellow westerners insist on being ignorant jackasses about going “wAaAaAH, BuUuUuUuT iT’S iIiIiIiNcEsT!!!!1” with regard to Chengxian/Xiancheng, a ship that:
1. literally is not, by any definition, incest;
2. hugely affects the plot of its story in several ways that are directly related to it NOT being incest;
and 3. has several explanations about why it IS *NOT* incest out there, across multiple platforms, written by fans who actually know Chinese, don’t have to engage with the text exclusively in translation, and have a much stronger understanding of the cultural normas and nuances at play in this relationship than us westerners, who can read and learn and try to do better about checking ourselves while engaging with CN texts, but will likely always be, to some extent, projecting western ideas onto them
but………y’know, sure, whatever. If it makes you happy to completely flatten a deeply complex and nuanced relationship into “everything about them is Normal Sibling Behavior and that’s literally all it will ever be,” despite both CN fans explaining why that’s wrong and the text itself offering multiple examples to the contrary, then hey, be my guest (ノ◕ヮ◕)ノ*:・゚✧
#opinions for ts#wank for ts#venting for ts#disclaimer: i fully endorse blocking anyone you want to block; i'm just venting abt people in mdzs/cql fandom doing so for reasons that are#at BEST based in serious cultural ignorance & projecting western ideas/definitions onto chinese media & seriously the puritanical#pearl-clutching of it all? mn. FAR too much. BUT WITH THAT BEING SAID:#mine: text#fandom shenanigans#mdzs#chengxian#imagine saying with your whole chest that you block people who 'tag [your] posts featuring siblings as incest ships'#about a relationship that would genuinely be more socially acceptable in its own context if it WERE incest#because if it WERE incest then they would have 1.000% more of an excuse to be as obsessed with each other as they are#imagine calling yourself a jiang cheng stan & not understanding that: 1. he is genuinely obsessed with wwx to a degree that FAR EXCEEDS wha#is generally considered 'typical' or 'normal' for actual brothers (be they biological adopted sworn or martial); 2. jc gives wwx WAY more#latitude than actual blood family would get if they were doing even a fraction of what wwx does during his yllz arc; 3. jiang cheng's life#would be SIGNIFICANTLY FUCKING EASIER on *SEVERAL* counts if wwx were actually his brother—something jc COULD HAVE MADE HAPPEN with a sworn#brother ceremony but he just?? didn't?? felt it wasn't necessary maybe?? possibly internalized some of yzy's abuser logic about how wwx was#always showing him up & a Threat to him?? A LOT OF REASONS PROBABLY; MY MAN IS COMPLICATED—but doing said ceremony would've made jc's life#SO much easier bc he would've had an actual socially acceptable reason to treat wwx the way he does (& not to sound like enoby dark'ness#dementia raven way but: a/n—if u think either of them treats the other like Normal Brothers GET DA HELL OUTTA HERE. literally they only act#like Normal Siblings if your standards are the so-called 'erotic codependence' of Sam & Dean Winchester or literal canonical sibling-fucker#Cersei & Jaime Lannister………but lol ok sure jc's behavior toward wwx is TOTALLY just LiTtLe BrOtHeR SyNdRoMe!!!1); & 4. within the context o#the narrative? lmao 'normal' brothers do not sacrifice themselves for each other like jc does for wwx (& vice versa). 'normal' brothers in#mdzs spend 10+ years plotting an elaborate baroque revenge scheme to completely ruin a sworn brother's life bc he killed the bio-bro & also#stole nmj's filial vengeance kill by saving nmj from wen ruohan. 'normal' brothers judge each other's choices in precious meow-meows like#'i don't mind you being gay but does it have to be THIS guy?' 'normal' brothers send their bros to qiongxi pass knowing that Some Absolute#Fuckshit will likely ensue. like?? nowhere in the text of the novel do ANY of the 'normal' brother pairs behave ANYTHING like chengxian#i've said it elsewhere but nhs looks at chengxian like 'damn that's intense. can't relate. glad it's not me.' grigor mothman (he who gave u#cersei & jaime—literal twins!—fucking in a church next to their dead teenage son's corpse while she's menstruating) looks at xcx & goes
3 notes · View notes
mikeyfuckinway · 1 year ago
Text
DISCORD CHANGING TO JUST USERNAMES WITH NO TAG WAS A MISTAKE RANDOM MOTHERFUCKERS ARE ADDING ME!!!!!!!!! I DONT HAVE ANY SERVERS OR FRIENDS IN COMMON WITH THEM THEYRE JUST TYPING IN MY FUCKING NAME!!!!!!!!!!! THEY WOULDNT BE ABLE TO DO THAT IF I HAD A FUCKING TAG THAT THEY COULDNT KNOW!!!!!!!!!!!
4 notes · View notes
hplonesomeart · 25 days ago
Text
Tumblr media
EHEHEHHEHE YUSSS COOL DESIGN >:D
Tumblr media
I had a vision and I needed to draw it
277 notes · View notes
didasgomas · 12 days ago
Text
901 A.C - Translation
I could never do justice in describing the type of torture they put him through, but do know, that after a certain point, tearing parts from his body to create new bodies began to rob him of his vitality. They could have finished their purge with a number that ended in five, but it ended in three instead, for otherwise they would kill him, and they considered such a thing unnecessary, not to mention, a loss of resources.
After they had dried him bare of his own cells, they only waited a year before sending him back to Earth to begin the process of feeding off of its foolish mortals.
I think I am the only one that is still capable of remembering all their names, for the Ancient Ones would obviously also deprive him of the simple pleasure of giving a name to his creations for everyone else to remember them by.
You need not memorize them, but can you count them?
Pelna, Currias, Cenyx, Enagma, Cillous, Tesiae, Carbel, Cotaeny, Dolinyx, Thalux, Ecryx, Ruynin, Tholen, Chriboz, Kimanyx, Harpyx, Masgnera, Melomyna, Malgoyx, Neschzir, Orzphen, Phrixon, Polopresna, Reigyk, Sdanyx, Sysmar, Selenyx, Selikor, Takna, Trilima, Umbrulyx, Vetharyx, Ynimalora
┆ ┆ ┆ ┆ ⋆ ˚ · • . ° . Fun facts:
-All of the irl footage was filmed throughout my neighborhood's "forest-y" area
-All of Ladvar's forced children's names are (unrecognizably and randomly) derived from tarantula genera, given that Cairyx's design is based off of the Typhochlaena Seladonia genus of tarantulas
"In Mortality" is an au of Cut Down The Altar, story belonging to @missr3n3
0 notes
crzyimp · 13 days ago
Text
[Lay down] Finally.....I finally transferred most of my stories on to Ao3.....
1 note · View note
cryptidapprentice · 5 months ago
Text
eep!
#cryptic ramblings#in the tags#feelinggggg a little bit neglected by me irl friend group 😖#just like. every time i say smthn/yap a lil i dont tend to get much acknowledgement??#vs the other two will always get some kinda acknowledgement etc both from me and the other (theres 3 of us)#idk im hoping its my pre-period bs talking n overanalyzing things but like... idk#bc its like. we're all stressed bc of our jobs n like other stuff#n we all share w eachother! abt those stressors! n we sympathize n offer advice n help where necessary!#like these r my Best Friends. theyd both be my Co-Smthn Of Honor when i get married!!! so i dont wanna assume smthn negative abt em yk??#but i just... yknow... feel a lil... blergh#like neglected is kinda too strong but just like.. im kinda annoying??? bothersome maybe??? idk#like if uve seen some of my other tags ive been stressed tf out over cleaning my room bc i had a certain deadline (which was today)#n last night was the worst of my stress but it was the most id done n i shared this w them but another one of em shared some their own stuff#n we all responded to them while i did not get anything n it made me feel a bit ignored 🥴#n ik i should prob bring this up to them but like i also dont wanna guilt them into feeling likr they HAVE to respond to everything i send!!#bc sometimes i rly Do Be sending just stuff tht doesnt rly require a response like truly#n i get just not rly having anything to say either so mmmmmm idk#def think im overthinking it all n my dumb pms hormones or w/e are making me overreact as a result but i just wanted to vent a bit#get it off my chest. yk how it is#(i also hope this isnt the One Time one of em decides to hop onto tumblr after YEARS of not using it 🥴🥴)#IM the resident tumblrite so itd be quite a coinkydink if one of em hopped on outta nowhere 😖#...anyways... yeah thats p much it)#i love em!!! i dont think i could Not Love Em!!! but my brain's just bein rejection-sensitive or smthn#n taking the lack of responses twrd my shit as Rejections ig#is wack#end of vent. thanks if u read all this lol
0 notes
celestialmancer · 7 months ago
Text
⛈️ //
#tag vent bullshit would highly recommend just scrolling past this if vent bs aint your thing#so run along now for those who would rather avoid. im just tossing in tags bc its easier on me.#anyway… just… …#this stress is really eating me alive & im so tired#ive been crying on & off since yesterday esp w my health taking a swan dive to hell amidst this#but i have to just. deal with.#crying when alone specifically like fuck am i gonna show a damn thing to anyone. fuck no ❤️#esp when it feels like my emotions im feeling are me somehow being manipulative.#because i dont have a right to any of this right. its just a pity party im throwinf for myself.#& yet all these feelings emotions everything i havent processed continue to fester & bubble up to the surface in pure vitriol.#pure hatred & anger bc of it coming from a place of hurt but what does that matter. right? …im just.#i feel manipulative expressing anything. i feel manipulative having feelings. i need to remove them at once. i need them gone at once.#i feel manipulative even so much as talking about situations that hurt me. bc i ‘shoulsnt feel this way’#all this shit to me feels like it just reads as ‘woe is me’ bullshit i hate it so much.#im tired. i dont know. im in distress & emotionally really falling apart but just.#it almost feels more comforting to just let myself bleed out on myself metaphorically speaking than to dare task anyone via asking them#to help me w my own metaphorical wounds. bc then im shoving a burden onto them. & I’m not supposed to do that.#so much for being a pillar of stability for others LMFAOOO. whatever. whatever.#faulty ass pillar that’s just falling apart from being built on an unstable foundation#im tired im tired of hurting both emotionally & physically due to flare ups from the sheer stress as well#& crying feels fucking humiliating & like im just begging for pity.#i shouldnt be fucking crying. i shouldn’t. im supposed to be fine. i say. & at first i was fucking able to fucking.#dissociate & let quinn join me too so i could be fully coldly detached. from it. but thats not happening bc i cant control when she joins#joins front w me. & i almost wish she could take front fully. take front from me fully for as long as this situation keeps going.#even if that means i end up in solitude & w barely much recollection of what may transpire. at least when she’s upfront? i dont have to be.#solitude bc she doesnt like talking to anyone even my own trusted friends.#unless its somehow fucjing necessary but at least w her upfront i just. i dont. have to feel. i can disconnect & forget everything.#i just want to stop fucking falling apart & i have so many unprocessed emotions over this all that feel unacceptable to talk abt STILL.#im that fucking convinced any neg emotion i show is wrong somehow & while ive gotten better w this im still. not. idk. just. w/e. ifg.
0 notes