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itsclydebitches · 2 years

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YYH Recaps: Episode 5 “Yusuke’s Back”

Hello, wonderful Yu Yu Hakusho fandom! It's been a while, but what else is new? Is anyone here a Hollow Knight fan? I've been itching for the release of Silksong lately, thinking to myself how much better it would have been if I had gotten hooked on the series later, spared the pain of such a long hiatus between the initial release and the sequel. If anyone is actually interested in reading these recaps, I sincerely hope that you discover them after I've kicked my writing butt into gear and have gotten more than five chapters written.

Today's episode is titled "Yusuke’s Back" so if you were hoping to immerse yourself in the tension of whether Yusuke will successfully regain his body or not... maybe rethink your expectations. Not that I'm disappointed in the spoiler, simply given that it's not much of a spoiler at all. Even kids, tweens, and teens — what was likely YYH's primary target audience (not necessarily it’s actual audience) back when it was airing on Toonami — would have figured out by now that Yusuke is destined for resurrection. Building his relationships among the living all but guarantees his success, especially as the show does nothing else to lead the audience towards an all-ghost plotline.

So that's where we'll end up about halfway through the episode. Before that though Yusuke has to actually realize that success is on the horizon. We open with him complaining to Botan that there are “two things I hate: waiting and being rushed," both of which he's been doing a lot of lately. Basically, Yusuke enjoys doing his own thing, on his own time, and generally being free of responsibility to others. It's an attitude that's quite understandable given his upbringing — a factor that will once again be on full display this episode as Atsuko fails to live up to parental expectations — but it's also a flaw that Yusuke will spend the rest of the series working to improve. All that aside, I gapped a little at him essentially complaining about the wait period. He's invisible to everyone around him and he can fly. In what world is that not a recipe for endless entertainment?? Catch me exploring for hours on end, alternating between seeing whether ghosts can break the atmosphere and engaging in the ultimate form of people watching.

Yusuke isn't into any of that though. When Botan points out the Koenma has a great deal to do as the ruler of the afterlife, Yusuke counters that important people aren't really important. It's the other way around: making you wait is a strategy to make you think they're important. Given what we saw with Yusuke's teachers, I can’t blame him for that attitude either. Of course, it's right as Yusuke is going, "Besides, how busy can a toddler be?" that Koenma appears at his side, startling the hell out of him.

I wonder if the Yusuke of later episodes, powered up and spiritually aware, would still have missed Koenma's presence...

Anyway, after Botan keeps him from putting his foot in his mouth (primarily by keeping said mouth shut), Yusuke gets his wish as Koenma announces that it's time to get this show on the road. "It seems we're going to have to rush." Poor Yusuke. He wasn't wrong about bouncing between the two extremes.

Koenma snags his hand and flies them back towards his body where Atsuko is drinking in the other room. “Nice pad," Yusuke says. "Mom must have had good fire insurance." It's little details like this that make me love YYH's writing. Sure, there are far bigger, wonky issues in the series — especially earlier on — but the world also feels rich because of comments like this. The story could have easily popped in on Atsuko post-fire without acknowledging how she got the new "pad" and, honestly, it wouldn't have been a big deal. Most viewers would have recognized that it's not essential to the plot and many more would have simply assumed precisely what Yusuke says: there was insurance, savings, help, or some other explanation involved. However, having spent several years in a fandom where such details are continually unacknowledged, to the point where it feels less like a real world and more like a slapped-together collection of half-baked ideas, re-watching YYH's work in that regard is like a balm to the storytelling soul.

Our new location established, Koenma launches into an explanation about how Yusuke will — they hope — be resurrected. Turns out that every person possesses two wavelengths, one for their body and one for their spiritual energy, and both must be in alignment for the two to come together. Makes sense in a fantasy way. I also quite like the visual we're given as Koenma tries to keep Yusuke on track.

He's a bit excitable though, talking about how soon he'll be "a human with real fists and everything!" Beyond the strange implication that Yusuke is not currently human (maybe?) he's clearly maintaining his priorities here, upholding his ability to punch things over... well, literally everything else. Koenma tells him to cool his jets though — not literally, but you know he's thinking it — because if Yusuke misses this chance tomorrow then he'll have to wait until his wavelengths align again. How long will that take exactly? Days? Weeks?

Fifty-two years.

Admittedly, my initial response to this reveal was, "What the fuck, Koenma?" because he's going to wait until now, with twenty-four hours left, to tell Yusuke about this chance? But once again YYH comes through with a comment about how Yusuke is a unique case (most people wouldn't have to wait decades to try again) and a reminder that his situation is far from average. The afterlife doesn't appear to have a system in place for dealing with delinquent kids destined for hell who unexpectedly save someone's life. From giving Yusuke the resurrection offer, to rewarding his sacrifice of the egg, to realizing his spiritual energy isn't like everyone else's, Koenma has basically been making this up as he goes along. So I can forgive him for cutting it close, even if Yusuke might not.

Hey, has anyone written that AU? Yusuke misses his chance to come back and is forced to wait out decades between worlds, watching everyone he loves live the majority of their lives, many of them passing away, until he returns in a sixty-six-year-old body, but with a soul that hasn't experienced the events necessary to mature along with it? Talk about an angst-fest.

In the realm of the canon though, Yusuke continues to struggle with being in a relatively powerless position. See, as his recent "with real fists and everything" attests, Yusuke is a character who is used to solving matters on his own, with his own abilities, with — literally — his own two hands. He's a very active person, in the sense of taking control of situations (not exercising a lot), yet here he's continually reliant on others around him to take action on his behalf. He needs Kuwabara to relay a message, or Keiko to save his body. Continuing that pattern, Koenma informs him that he'll need to call on the three people who care for him most in the living world to donate life energy. No, it's not a sacrifice, just a kiss on the lips. "Haven't you ever heard of mouth-to-mouth resuscitation?"

I'm a little obsessed with Koenma grounding spiritual nonsense with a real-life example of medical care while simultaneously maintaining these fairy tale elements: Yusuke's hope exists in threes and he'll only come back through True Love's Kiss (even if, at this point in the story, love isn't limited solely to the romantic).

We get another pretty shot as Yusuke grapples with others having too much control over his existence — "Hey! Why are you making me glow?" — and Koenma reassures him that he's just getting his body ready for re-entry. By tomorrow his whole body will be golden. Until then, Yusuke should go on another dream adventure to warn Atsuko, Kuwabara, and Keiko.

Problem is, Atsuko is immediately rejected as an option. She's drunk as a skunk and leaves for the bar once she's emptied her bottle. Even if Yusuke could rely on her to transfer life energy at the appropriate time — which I really don't think he can, given that in her inebriated state she tells an unconscious Yusuke to "Watch over the house while I'm gone" after leaving him alone just resulted in a massive blaze that nearly killed him and Keiko (or, you know, perma-killed his body) — Yusuke reveals that Atsuko will be "on this streak for days."

Instead, we cut to Kuwabara waking up from a nightmare. AKA he's just dreamt that he kissed Yusuke with all the passion of a fourteen-year old's yaoi fanfic.

Now, I'm not going to make any claims about YYH having good minority representation. Even overlooking the classic pervert "jokes" and instead highlighting that, yes, Keiko, Botan, and some women still to come are well developed, YYH as a whole doesn't have anything that we're likely looking for in 2022 in regards to diversity. It's very much a product of the 80's-90's shonen culture. Some nuances aside, it's fundamentally a story about a bunch of fit, able-bodied dudes fulfilling male power fantasies. That being said, YYH refrains from a lot of harmful writing that would have been easily excused at the time which, given that context, makes it progressive in that particular way. Here, Kuwabara's disgust is very clearly about having to kiss Yusuke as an individual — his supposed rival — not about having to kiss another guy. That's not even mentioned as something he's uncomfortable with and that lack is noticeable given the genre and the publication date.

Basically though, Kuwabara is not an option.

Which leaves Keiko as their only real hope. She's also had the dream about kissing Yusuke and decides to visit him before school that morning. "Well, that's great," you might think. "She'll notice that he's golden, realize the dream was real, and get on with this resurrection business!" Nah lol. Koenma forgot to mention that the glow starts from the feet up, so Keiko doesn't even notice that early in the day. Instead, she considers trying a kiss just to be on the safe side, but ultimately chickens out. Though it's a moment that can be rather frustrating for the viewer, it's entirely understandable for her character. After all, just last episode Keiko nearly kissed Yusuke of her own volition, only to realize the mistake she was making and pull back. She's fourteen years old. She's embarrassed by her own feelings. "Should I try?" she asks and in the end the answer is 'No.' From her perspective, that dream is just going to look like a normal result of her subconscious and Yusuke is currently a soulless husk who can't consent to trying things out. All in all, I can 100% buy Keiko refraining here. It keeps her personality and internal struggle consistent.

Although, all of this could have been avoided if the dream message had been a little more explanatory. Why can Yusuke tutor Kuwabara for a test, but he can't say precisely why he wants his friends to kiss him? Ah, ambiguity for the drama.

Bad luck continues to dog Yusuke as the day goes on. First, Kuwabara fails to show up to school which means that he and Keiko can't collaborate their dreams and perhaps realize that it's actually a message. Then, class is interrupted as Takenaka informs Keiko that her mother is ill. Specifically, he tells her in front of the whole class that "There's something wrong with your mother" which could mean anything from "She's in jail" to "She's actively dying." Regardless of what it is, something is clearly wrong and the whole student body (because you just know rumors will spread) doesn't need to know about it. Pull Keiko out of class and tell her that privately!

Luckily, her mom just has a case of heatstroke and will be fine with a bit of rest, but Keiko is worried enough that she refuses to leave the hospital bedside, despite her dad's urging. Her compassion, though commendable, is ultimately doing more harm than good here — not that Keiko realizes that. Botan even says that Mrs. Yukimura is getting all the attention when Yusuke is the one in danger. Interestingly, he smiles.

I'm honestly not sure how I want to interpret this expression. Alongside Botan's worry, Yusuke has just listed all the trials he's dealt with lately saying that, “It really feels like someone’s out to get me." Crucially though, there's that smile. Yusuke isn't furious about these karmic injustices; he's approaching his string of horrific bad luck with an acceptance tinged with dark humor. Like many other shonen protagonists, Yusuke is very self-sacrificial (even if he pretends otherwise) and I think a part of that drive might be coming through here. He saved a life, he paid the price, and that's... fine. Yusuke won't fight for himself the way he'll fight for others simply because, despite the tough guy nature and tendency to brag, he doesn't actually have a high opinion of himself outside of his fighting prowess. When not hiding behind showy arrogance, Yusuke is rather self-deprecating: the son of an alcoholic, worst student in the school, delinquent, no friends except for Keiko and of course Keiko is kind to him because Keiko is amazing. He loves her. Now here she is, demonstrating that kindness towards her mother. Why would Yusuke want to interrupt that, especially when it's for him?

So, he's smiling, Botan is fretting, but eventually Yusuke's self-preservation instincts kick in and they decide that if Keiko is a lost cause they'll just have to try Kuwabara again. They find him at the arcade — which I love because it implies that Yusuke knows his habits well enough to figure out where he's been spending his school skip day — and we once again get a frankly welcoming approach to the idea of two guys kissing under life-or-death circumstances. "I don’t want you to think I’m weird or anything but please please please just kiss me!” Yusuke begs.

I know I just wrote about how he can be sort of meh about his own resurrection this episode, but that's primarily in the context of inconveniencing others in a meaningful way. Kuwabara's arcade game isn't important, not like a sick mother, so Yusuke has no qualms about laying the desperation on — despite the fact that Kuwabara is another guy. Honestly? I really like this approach because it would have been so, so easy for the story (especially in the early 2000s) to turn Yusuke's horror at kissing a man into the comedic subplot. He blanches at the mere idea. He stubbornly leaves Kuwabara as the last resort. Botan has to talk him into it and firmly remind him that no, a peck from another man isn't worse than staying a ghost for the next several decades. As someone who grew up watching the homophobia-tinged media of the 90s and early 2000s (and, frankly, plenty of stuff still) I can picture that version of YYH with incredible ease. But instead, Yusuke covers his bases and asks for Kuwabara's help alongside Keiko's, he never once brings up gender as a potential barrier, and when things get bad, he literally begs him to just kiss him, please. As I said, YYH isn't revolutionary when it comes to this rep, far from it, but it's not actively harmful in the ways it easily could have been.

And I'm still not saying I ship Yusuke/Kuwabara, but...

When Kuwabara (quite obviously) doesn't respond to Yusuke's verbal pleas, he gets angry and tries to throw a punch. Kuwabara picks up on ghost!Yusuke flying through him and, uncomfortable with his "tickling feeling" cropping up in the arcade, hightails it out of there.

They try Atsuko again but she's still incredibly drunk, as Yusuke said she would be. She's found a spot in a club, one she appears to be a frequent customer of, and interestingly, she's in the company of two drag queens. At least that’s the term I’ve settled on. “Another round for the ladies!” Atsuko yells. I assume they're in drag given their status as companions/entertainers there, rather than trans women, but we don't exactly get a lot of information on them. The point is that they know Atsuko well, she's sloshed, likes their company, and has ordered even more drinks as Yusuke stares in horror. "Just pull the plug," he says, a bit of his trademark black humor shining through.

By now Yusuke has come full circle. He was feeling pretty hopeless when he saw Keiko with her mother, was re-inspired enough to beg Kuwabara for help, and now is once again considering it a lost cause. However, in the final hour (literally) Botan hits on one last idea and though Yusuke thinks it's a waste of energy — "Doesn't she know when to quit?" — she flies off nonetheless, stating that if this doesn't work, nothing will.

I mean yeah, because they've got like twenty minutes left, but you know. Drama.

We cut back to Keiko who, as promised, is still attending her mother through the night. Given that her mother is now asleep and thus closer to the spirit world, Botan takes the opportunity to relay the situation through her and, because it's down to the wire, she can oh-so-conveniently provide a lot more information than the ambiguous kissing dream did. Keiko hears from her Botan-mother that her dream was real, she has until midnight, Yusuke needs her, and so of course she high-tails it out of there as quick as she can.

Koenma examines a (very pretty) pocket watch as they all wonder if Keiko will manage to make it in time. Initially, Yusuke is back to his usual humor, saying that if they fail he'll just have to "see Keiko when she’s an old hag," but as the intensity of "Will she make it?" ratchets up, all the characters drop their facade of casual indifference. Koenma keeps a hold of that watch and keeps them appraised of every second that passes. Botan looks as if it's her own future on the line. When the actual moment comes Yusuke will swoop down towards Keiko, screaming her name as if she's the one in danger of losing the next fifty years of life. All the while Keiko charges through the city and Yusuke's apartment building, trying desperately to reach him in time. The very last seconds are shown in slow-motion, the tick of the clock resounding as the soundtrack swells, Keiko's every step emphasized because, yes, each matters with literal seconds to spare. Really, the whole scene is wonderfully tense and it's easy to get caught up in it... provided you don't recall the name of our episode lol. I can't remember my own emotional state when I first watched this as a kid, but I can see how well this would go over on a younger, less genre-savvy audience.

So, the moment is great, but before we get to the climax, I actually had a question. Re-watching Keiko's run to Yusuke I noted that she still took the time to kick off her shoes when entering the house. Yes, she manages it on the go and they're thrown into random corners of the hall, but it still struck me as odd to waste even those two or three seconds when literally every second is a matter of life and death. I know it's customary to remove one's shoes in Japan. I do the same in my household, though not as a cultural expectation. If someone comes over to my place they're certainly allowed to take their shoes off, but it's not an engrained expectation. For those of you who live in places where it would be: is Keiko's choice realistic? I mean, I certainly assume so given that the story is written by Yoshihiro Togashi, but I just found it to be a surprisingly interesting detail. Basically, this idea that our daily habits are so, well, habitual that we'll go through the motions even when logic dictates we should throw them to the wayside this one time.

Not to derail the epic conclusion with that, but Keiko does, quite obviously, kiss Yusuke. I like that just like Yusuke is determined not to make a potential kiss with Kuwabara a big deal, here the threat of losing Yusuke isn't interrupted by Keiko's feelings, his potential feelings, or the general awkwardness of planting a kiss like that. Keiko doesn't even hesitate, full on sobbing at the prospect that she's too late. A lesser series might have ignorantly tried to insert a bit of humor before the kiss, whereas YYH knowingly puts it immediately after: we're forced to wait a beat where it looks like Keiko has failed until Yusuke blinks, sits up, and goes, "Hey, nice kiss" in his usual, cheeky manner.

As he sits up and we get our first good look at a non-ghost, post-resurrection Yusuke (or one not in a casket or wrapped in a blanket, anyway) it becomes obvious how important each piece of your character design is. Check out what a difference it makes for Yusuke to have his hair slicked back vs. falling naturally into his eyes like this.This Yusuke comes across as much softer and yes, that's also due to the PJs and the romantic moment, but just as much — if not more — is accomplished simply by changing how his hair is styled. I initially started these recaps as a result of someone asking me about my favorite character designs and after I'd happily ranted a bit about YYH's, I started getting the itch to explore the series more in depth. Though certainly this series (at least so far) isn't terribly creative in its designs, it does know how to create a large impact through a simple change.

Botan is thrilled that Yusuke made it, although interestingly she instantly pronounces the case as closed. Actually, it's not that surprising that she'd go from thoroughly invested in Yusuke as an individual to capable and willing to walk away without a second glance. After all, Botan is the grim reaper. Her entire existence has been ferrying souls around and though I'm sure she's now spent more time with Yusuke than the average human, she has a lot of practice at letting go. She comments on how this ordeal is finally over, to which Koenma cryptically responds that Yusuke's journey is far from over and “The real ordeal will be much harder."

During this we get a closeup on Koenma's narrowed eyes — a classic shot to convey that he's keeping a secret, he's up to something, all is not what it seems, etc. — but damn if it isn't funny when used alongside his simply drawn baby features. I mean, the juxtaposition of Koenma's toddler appearance and his dramatic personality is hilarious all on its own (a joke the story references frequently through Yusuke), but alongside that the art style just draws a chuckle out of me. Don't get me wrong, I love YYH's animation — particularly when it comes to some of the fights we'll get later on — but like any long-running show, some parts of the story are simply given more detail than others. Koenma's beady, simply drawn eyes during such a dramatic moment amuses me in the same way his stubby fingers do alongside that elaborate pocket watch.

Far more important than my strange humor preferences though is the fact that Koenma apparently had much of this in the works since the start. No, I doubt he could have predicted most of the loopholes Yusuke threw him — dying in the first place, sacrificing his egg, Keiko's incredibly close call — and he’s definitely making most of this up as he goes along, but he obviously held out hope that Yusuke would make it back to his body and begin the "ordeal" that Koenma has planned for him. The second half of the episode will begin to cover that.

Yeah, second half. I've written nearly 4,000 words on ten minutes of content because my brain knows no chill when it wants to talk about something. I'll say "You're welcome" or "So sorry" depending on how you feel about that lol.

After our little commercial break animation, we open on Yusuke who is walking around town, presumably the next day. I could talk about how his change of clothes does wonders for making the world feel lived in — I'm always too aware that characters are characters when they have a single outfit they never deviate from due to model constraints. I could also talk about how this move from green jumpsuit maintains his color scheme while, again, making it feel like he's a real person with real preferences about the style of clothes he wears, rather than a fictional character with one designated look for the audience's benefit. But really, all I truly want to say here is please give me that jaket I'd wear it in a heartbeat.

Anyway, he's strolling about town, enjoying such things as gravity keeping his feet planted firmly on the ground, hair still un-slicked to convey that carefree nature. Yusuke ends up running into two other thugs — who appear to be brothers, or lazily similar models — who demand oh so politely that he help them out with some money trouble. It immediately reminded me of a Witcher 3 quest where two drunks do the same, only they come across as more stupid due to their inebriation, not threatening, and I've always happily given them some coin to continue their partying lol. Whereas the Yusuke of before would have pounded this duo straight into the pavement, this one gets comically emotional over the fact that they can see him. He gets teary-eyed, clasps their hands, and loudly proclaims that it's great to be alive. One guy cautions the other not to pursue him when Yusuke walks away, saying, “it ain’t right to mess with the crazies.”

As Yusuke leaves a fortuneteller hails him from a dark alleyway, a fortuneteller who is oh so obviously Botan. I know, I know, we're meant to believe that such disguises fool the characters easily enough, but I still want to shake Yusuke and ask, "How many women with pink eyes and blue hair do you know??"

She comments on how his spiritual energy isn't at all average, which is a fun, three-way bit of info. Yusuke believes this is because he's been dead for "a couple of weeks" (which is honestly a lot longer than I'd originally thought). Yusuke also thinks she thinks this is a part of her hoax: say something mysterious and vaguely complimentary, thinking it's bullshit, having no idea that Yusuke has had actual, prolonged contact with the spirit world. Yusuke believes he's kidding the kidder, not realizing this kidder is the kidder that first introduced him to the afterlife... or something like that. The third perspective here is the audience's. Though it won't become entirely clear until later, Yusuke obviously does have unusual spirit energy, as evidenced by his unlucky alignment that required a quick resurrection and Koenma's mysterious plans for him. So, Yusuke thinks the liar is unknowingly correct, but he thinks she's 'correct' about the wrong thing. Meanwhile, Botan isn’t a liar at all and actually knows what she's talking about.

Because all that isn't confusing or anything.

Definitely Not Botan informs Yusuke that there's a mission he must complete, but Yusuke straight up doesn't care. He's enjoying life too much and — not so different from the first time around — isn't willing to ruin it with a bunch of responsibility. He rudely walks away, leaving a flummoxed Botan in his wake.

So, was this honestly Koenma's original plan? Send Botan in a terrible disguise and recruit Yusuke through the supposed realism of a fortuneteller seeing his future? You have to wonder why they'd even play at hiding things in the first place when Yusuke has already died, met them, and been immersed in the strangeness of the afterlife for several weeks. Why bother?

Ignorant to all this, Yusuke continues on and decides to snag a drink at a local coffee shop. Two customers exit as he arrives and comment that a gang from another high school has been trying to take control of Kuwabara's turf. “If only Yusuke Urimeshi were still alive," one of them says. Noting that they're correct and the group inside the cafe is, uh, a bunch of high schoolers...

...or, you know, whatever animators think high schoolers look like, Yusuke settles in for a bit of eavesdropping. He quickly identifies the one in the middle as their leader, only to get a shock when he looks at the guy's head.

“What that — ?! That guy has horns! That’s not normal. Oh well, not going to ruin my day” and Yusuke returns to his comic book.

Thus, a meme was born.

That really is a fantastic reaction though. Normally I get frustrated by protagonists who ignore supernatural occurrences in order for the story to develop at its preferred pace, resulting in them looking oblivious at best, downright stupid at worst. You're really not going to comment on any of the creepy aspects of your new house? You're honestly going to straight up ignore this strange power you've developed? Yes, some stories do a good job of having the character rationalize it all away, but there's also something wonderfully compelling about making your character observant, having them comment on how strange this is, but then deciding that this is simply none of their business. Not only is it funny, but it's probably the most realistic occurrence. If I saw someone with horns I wouldn't jump to some supernatural explanation, but nor would I try and will myself to forget it with a prophetic sense of foreboding. I'd just assume the guy was in cosplay, or else had some weird condition that yeah, isn't my problem. The human body's done stranger things than grow horns, I’m sure.

So, although that's a odd twist, Yusuke is ultimately more interested in their connection to Kuwabara than he is the leader's horns. He overhears that they've set a test for Kuwabara as proof of his loyalty: steal a comic book from "the most guarded store in town." What store is this then? Because every comic shop I've been in has been guarded by exhausted college students, underearning owners, or — on one memorable occasion — an exhausted couple attempting to sooth their infant in between customers. None of these places had what I'd consider extensive security, or even a particularly watchful eye.

...Which I now realize makes it sound like I frequently steal comic books. I absolutely do not. Just testing the logic of this world lol.

"Most guarded" or not, Yusuke is immediately dismissive of Kuwabara stealing anything given that it goes against his honor code. Once again, we get a glimpse of how well the two boys know each other despite playing at hated rivals. He scoffs at "horn boy's" hope of corrupting Kuwabara and the fact that he calls him "horn boy" at all really emphasizes that Yusuke is approaching this as a strange quirk he can make fun of him for, not anything truly worth pursuing.

When Kuwabara arrives he's distraught and calls out multiple times for a girl named Eikichi. Sakamoto — that's Horn Boy, as we learn here — says that she'll be just fine provided that Kuwabara has done what they asked. Initially, Yusuke is shocked when he throws down a bag with three different comic books, but the receipt reveals that they were never stollen. Kuwabara even explains the options with, “I got you several kinds. Didn’t know what you liked.” God, but that's such a wonderful bit of characterization. How many heroes stand tall as fighters while also admitting they wanted to ensure their enemy got something they liked out of the comics they paid for because they refused to steal? Looking back, I'm honestly impressed by how much the show does to develop Kuwabara and Yusuke in these first couple of episodes, much of which is done through the themes of pride, moral codes, and when the mask you show the world — you're my hated rival, I don't care about living, etc. — is worth throwing aside.

Problem is, Kuwabara's compassion entirely defeats the point of the lesson: blind obedience and a wiliness to succumb to bad behavior. Sakamoto wants him to feel the thrill of theft, not skirt by on a loophole. He orders Kuwabara to get down on his knees and admit that he was wrong, which he does with only minimal fuss. His friends are obviously disgusted by what he's being put through, but Kuwabara is more than willing when Eikichi's safety is on the line.

Who is this mysterious girl? Yusuke wonders. Well...

Eikichi is actually his cat.

Which, you know, is entirely understandable! If someone took one of my dogs — two idiot Golden Retrievers, in case you were wondering — you can bet I'd drop to my knees and beg to keep them safe. Sakamoto's group finds his love for cute kittens to be hilarious, but Yusuke is simply disgusted by their behavior. Hell yeah dismantling absurd ideas about emasculation. I like a tough guy who loves cats and an even tougher guy who supports him!

What I don't love though is the use of the R-slur to describe Eikichi. Not that it's still not used plenty, especially outside of progressive pockets, but sometimes the norms of the early 2000s come back to slap me in the face.

While one half of the group is taunting Kuwabara the other half comments on how "weird" their boss has gotten lately. Like Yusuke's brief moment in Atsuko's club (which I personally read as unintentional foreshadowing), here Sakamoto is deliberately designed with a demon-esque look about him. It's mostly in the narrowed eyes, pointed teeth, and the closeups that highlight his evil grin. Plus, you know, the horns.

Humiliation complete, Sakamoto decides that Kuwabara still needs to learn his lesson. They move the gathering outside where he orders Kuwabara to hit his friends until he tells him to stop — and I can't imagine he'd be satisfied quickly. If he refuses, his goon will kill Eikichi with a broken bottle. Of course, being just as noble as their leader, Kuwabara's friends encourage him to listen to the order. They can definitely take a beating, especially for a good reason, and they promise to imagine it's Sakamoto dealing the damage until they can pay him back, fair and square. Kuwabara, however, can't imagine hurting his friends, not even when they're offering. Realizing that Kuwabara won't be swayed from the moral path, Sakamoto yells for his goon to kill Eikichi.

Which, of course, is precisely the moment that Yusuke steps in to help. I do so love a good entrance. He comes in with a solid punch, a flip, snags Eikichi, and lands facing away from the crowd just so he can whip around and dramatically reveal his face. We get a split screen reaction of Kuwabara and the other's shock.

Seriously though, can you imagine it? This is definitely still surprising for Kuwabara, but at least he had a bit of a heads up. Not only has he spent his life dealing with the "tickle feeling" — a knowledge of supernatural occurrences that make him more believing of them on the whole — but Keiko explicitly told him post-fire that Yusuke would eventually return to them. He may not have understood that the kiss dream was his chance to help bring the moment to fruition, but he can backtrack and realize how this seemingly impossible moment generally came about. Sakamoto's goons? Kuwabara's friends? They don't know anything about the spirit world, so seeing the dead guy randomly show up is probably giving them all an existential heart attack. I literally can't even imagine it. A couple of these guys were at Yusuke's funeral. This is how conspiracy theories are born.

Hell, even Eikichi is all, "What the hell is happening right now?"

Thus begins the first time Yusuke and Kuwabara fight together, rather than against one another. Yusuke hands Eikichi off to her grateful owner and they, along with Kuwabara's friends, make short work of Sakamoto's group, to the point where he flees when it becomes clear they won't win. Yusuke runs after him and keeps pace until Sakamoto takes a nasty fall. Unconscious, something even weirder than a dead man showing up occurs.

A tiny demon crawls out of his mouth.

Yuck.

Like the demons working for Koenma who sharply contrast our expectations — less fiery horror of damnantion and more overworked paper pushers — this little guy, while definitely undergoing an icky exit, isn't exactly intimidating. Alongside being very small, he has a squeaky voice and is still looking to escape rather than stand his ground. This is especially apparent once he realizes that Yusuke can see him. Taking flight with a burst of energy, the demon is shocked when Yusuke easily snatches him out of the air and proceeds to, without realizing it, speak his demonic language. As the little guy puts it, "You're breaking the rules!" I feel like this description makes Yusuke sound like some badass genius, but not really. While the little demon splutters at him accomplishing the impossible Yusuke is questioning whether he’s a tapeworm or not.

Yusuke... tapeworms don’t talk.

Do you know someone in your life who is undoubtedly brilliant in certain ways, but also the dumbest person you’ve ever had the (dubious) pleasure of becoming acquainted with? Someone who manages to spout inspired wisdom in one breath and utter tomfoolery in the next, to the point where you wonder how they’ve managed to survive this long? Yeah, that’s Yusuke.

Luckily, he doesn’t have to try and wrack his brain for an explanation any more. The fortuneteller arrives and reveals herself to be Botan. Only Yusuke is surprised. She tells him that the little demon he's caught is actually a ruthless criminal known for burrowing into the “evil portions of a human soul” and forcing them to do his bidding. Now, I doubt Sakamoto was a particularly nice dude on his own — his group is surprised by his recently ruthless actions, but not opposed to them — but it does suck that he was possessed and all. Why does this little demon want to make one street fighter take over the turf of another? No idea. Normally in fictional situations like these the demon clearly gets something out of it — he's feeding off the evil deeds, or some such — but I don't believe Botan mentions anything like that here. He's just a criminal with numerous offenses under his belt and Yusuke has caught him. Like a lot of the things introduced in this early detective arc, not much will come of this later. The story doesn't do much to develop the specifics of Yusuke's cases, including the criminals involved (with two notable exceptions), because very quickly the show will become about beating uncommonly strong fighters DBZ style, rather than solving supernatural mysteries. In short, it takes the series a while to find its feet. Whether you're more or less forgiving of that will probably depend on how much you enjoy these initial episodes as somewhat contained side stories.

“You have all that’s required to be detective of the spirit world” Botan tells Yusuke after he's gotten over his shock at her return. My response to that is... sort of? I mean yes, there's no denying that Yusuke is uniquely gifted to this kind of work and Botan is right that he displays many of those talents in this final stretch. As the demon lays out, he can see things connected to the spirit world, utilize his spirit energy to disable them, and (even though I don't think it comes up again) understand a supernaturally foreign language. However, Botan makes it sound as if Yusuke subconsciously tracked the criminal based on "instincts," rather than getting caught up in Kuwabara's problems. Granted, we might assume that some sort of subconscious knowledge is what led him to the coffee shop in the first place. It is quite the coincidence that Yusuke decides to have a snack while both Kuwabara's rival and a demon are hanging out. So, in that Botan may be right, but Yusuke's actual involvement seems to stem more from his relationships and his own moral code than any latent abilities.

Still, the purpose here is to (very quickly, given that it's the end of the episode) introduce that Yusuke's new life will be spent working as a spirit detective. Botan assures him the position is mandatory. I suppose that's the price of resurrection.

The announcement is solidified as Koenma appears in the sky — compensating for his toddler body perhaps? — and congratulates Yusuke on the new position, regardless of the fact that he doesn't seem to want it. He tosses out that Yusuke will "get cool powers. I came up with them myself” and that more than anything makes this all feel like some weird passion project of Koenma's rather than an official position of the spirit world. Half of what happened to Yusuke was entirely unforeseeable and now Koenma admits that he's the architect of the abilities that will keep Yusuke safe, in a language that comes across more like, "I made it up!" rather than, "I carefully and skillfully invented it." Things feel half-hazardous to me and I can't blame Yusuke for being iffy about getting roped into it all.

Still, he's alive.

“So much for the good ‘ol R&R” he says as Koenma disappears and Botan flies off, shouting that she looks forward to working together. Poor Yusuke.

Thus ends Episode Five. Next up, Yusuke begins his training as spirit detective.

Until then! ~

P.S. Why did tumblr let me post so many pictures?? Not that I’m complaining 🎉

#YYH #Yu Yu Hakusho #YYH Recaps #mymetas

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thetaekookcloset · 2 years

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Taekook’s ITS Convo: A Close Reading (Part 2)

5:55-6:40

Jin leaves and JK seems to watch him go before turning back to Tae and asking, "What's on your mind these days?" This is where the conversation takes a turn for the more specific and more recent, both, though it doesn't really have anything to do with Tae and JK together.

Tae says, "Me?" and JK hums. Then Taehyung goes on to say, "Ever since our ON promotion," -- [A rare moment when the youngest members are so serious] -- "since we couldn't see ARMY from the stage, I couldn't feel certain --" Jungkook interjects to say, "No, we couldn't," and a subtitle explains [They performed without their fans]. Tae finishes his sentence: "that I was someone who was receiving love." Jungkook nods and hums, looking down. Tae says, "Just because I couldn't see them with my eyes," -- [It feels like something's missing without the fans]. "It's something so trivial," he says, "but it really got to me."

This is the first time since the scene began that the viewer is given some new information in the actual conversation. It's entirely about Taehyung and his recent struggles, not about his relationship with Jungkook at all.

Jungkook says, "It'll probably be the same for everyone." Tae says, "probably." [All seven must have felt the same]. "And so," Tae says, "the reason I went on Weverse more often" -- [The only way to communicate with ARMY] -- "and tried to do something with ARMY was to get the feeling of assurance that I am someone who is loved." Jungkook hums thoughtfully.

6:40-8:21

After a cut to a cam that's further away and much lower quality, Tae says, "But the drawback was" -- [But after that moment passes...] -- "that it was only temporary." [But after that moment passes, the empty feeling comes back]. "It's all good when I talk with ARMY or do something with ARMY, but once that's over and I'm lying in bed, I realize that it's all temporary."

"Do you feel empty?" Jungkook asks, and Tae says yes.

He then explains, "I think it's the most urgent reason as to why I want to perform in concert. I want to be assured" -- [As ARMY's love completes him] again...okay -- "that I'm being loved."

JK answers, "But I personally think you are doing well these days," -- [he craves for more interaction with them] -- "communicating with ARMY and all. It may be temporary but it's giving you some comfort at least." The subtitles tell us [Jungkook has grown into someone who can console the older members]. He continues with, "I consider all these moments to be an opportunity. I'm staying patient and until I get to see them, I'm trying not to let any moment go to waste and work on bettering myself so that I can become a better self before them." [Trying not to spend this moment in vain].

"You should think of it in this light as well," Jungkook says, [for the people who love him]. "If you really love to be loved, I think it'd be good" -- [Wouldn't this be a way] -- "to show those who love you" -- [to return the love ARMY has given them?] -- "how much you've changed."

This section of the conversation is just so different from everything else that's come before it up to this point, and I'll talk a little more in a bit about why I think that is and what it seems to me is going on here, but I think this line from Jungkook is interesting, because it's the only real link between the first part of the conversation and his interview and then this second part of the conversation. It feels a little loaded to me. Taehyung isn't talking here about how he's changed -- so far, we've only heard that idea in JK's interview, so it's interesting that JK is the one who links the idea of wanting more connection with ARMY to showing ARMY (and those who love Taehyung) how he's changed as a person. Between that and his sentiment in the interview that things aren't the same as when they were younger but that they've gotten some of that back, a sort of sub-narrative begins to form: that, for the sake of those who love them, and to have better connection with those people, they want to show the way they've changed as people and, therefore, within their friendship.

Taehyung is looking off into the distance and nods, saying, "That's good advice," JK says, "But I think you're doing well." Tae seems to be watching Jin and Jimin but it isn't clear.

8:22-8:55

There's a cut here where we move from the Tae-focus cam to the Jungkook-focus. JK hands Tae the wine bottle and picks up a bottle of his own, it looks like it's probably soju. He lifts it and says, "Cheers." The tone after this cut is immediately different from just a moment ago (in the scene -- there's no knowing how much time may have passed from that moment to this cut). There's less tension and JK is starting to smile as he lifts his bottle for the cheers with Tae. They lean toward each other to clink, and when JK leans back again, he asks, "What should we toast for?" in almost a completely different tone of voice than he used in either of the first parts of the scene. The only way I can describe it is that it sounds less tense and more natural.

Tae makes a sound like, "Uhh," trying to think of something to toast to. JK, who has been looking all over the place but rarely at Taehyung for most of the conversation, is now looking directly at him, meeting his eyes and smiling. He says, "For those who love us." And then he giggles, just a little.

Taehyung laughs, Jungkook leans forward and holds out his bottle again. He seems to say, "What else?" and Tae, still smiling, says, "Again." A subtitle reads [For those who love us!]. Then, [Their ages and thoughts were different once,] -- "Bring it here," JK says, leaning forward, and Tae teases, saying, "Here, Jungkook-ssi," and making JK lean all the way over to him to tap their bottles. The subs resolve with [but now, they've become close friends who share each other's problems].

When they pull back from this second cheers, Jungkook is smiling with a big grin, looking genuinely at ease for the first time in the entire scene. The subtitles tell us [As the talk goes on, the night deepens...] and we're shown JK and Tae talking and smiling a little more while music plays over the scene. Then they're shown standing up and walking away in the same direction, leaving their bowl behind and the fire going, and...yeah That's it. That's the entire conversation.

After re-watching this scene, transcribing it, and then typing it all up, I'm more convinced than ever before that this conversation was staged. Not necessarily scripted to the extent of every word being pre-planned, but staged in the sense that it was a planned moment, yes. Likely one where they had specific subjects they were meant to address. I say this for a few reasons, but the camera work is a big one. There's also the fact that Big Hit later showed an extremely similar scene in a show with a different group, which makes this pretty irrefutable, in my opinion. Me, Myself, and BTS on YouTube has a good video illustrating this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cyl-d72FuMI

The subject matter covered in the conversation is another reason. The conversation essentially has three parts. Part one: Taekook history hour. This is the only part of the conversation we're shown that addresses their relationship at all, and every single piece of it is something we've already heard before, many times. It's all pretty basic stuff, not even very specific, and all of it is related to their very early days of knowing each other. This is also the only part interspliced with Jungkook's interview.

Part two discusses a topic that's both more recent and more specific: how Taehyung has been dealing with not being able to see fans in person because of the pandemic. Jungkook gives Tae some advice here, and the show frames this as them basically bridging the gap between them. In other words, after setting up this conflict of their age difference coming between them, the show resolves that conflict by showing that Jungkook, too, has matured, and now he can help Taehyung with his problems. This isn't new either -- Tae has said himself, years before this point, that Jungkook is good at listening and helping him with his problems, notably during the "Am I your friend?" moment.

Finally, part three is the denouement to the little story Big Hit has told us. The resolution has occurred, Jungkook and Taehyung are, per the subtitles, "close friends who share each other's problems." This is the first time since the scene began that Jungkook seems genuinely at ease -- certainly more at ease than he is in his interview. He's no longer touching his face or neck or rubbing his hands. He makes eye contact easily all of a sudden, and he's quick to smile. His tone is also easier and there's no more tension around his mouth. Taehyung lightens up too, suddenly more giggly. They toast "to those who love them," which is an interesting choice of words, and despite having apparently just mended their relationship, Taehyung teases JK immediately. JK does not seem to mind but plays along.

Are they suddenly so much more at ease because they've solved this problem of their age difference putting distance between them, or because they've completed an uncomfortable task? I guess you have to be the judge of that, but I'll just say that there's plenty of evidence that everyone in BTS uses formal language with each other only as much as it suits them to do so, and it's been that way for years. Beyond that, I personally have seen more than enough evidence of the closeness of TK's relationship throughout all of the time between their "trainee days" and "these days" to have significant skepticism that the awkwardness discussed lasted a particularly long time, but looking at that would take us too far beyond the scope of this one scene.

The most important thing to note here, again, is the lack of clarity in terms of the timeframe we're supposed to be considering. This and the general vagueness are the two big clues that something isn't quite what it seems to be here.

But what does it seem to be, exactly?

Overall, the story that's implied by this scene goes like this: Taehyung and Jungkook had a fast friendship when they first met during their trainee days. They had a lot in common because they were both really silly, and so they were immediately close. But Jungkook could never really see Taehyung as a peer because of the two-year age difference, and as Taehyung matured, he became more reserved and less silly, which made him harder to talk to. As a result, their friendship waned and they became distant with each other. Now, Taehyung has been struggling and Jungkook reached out to him but his invitation was never taken, so Taehyung gets Jimin's help to bring Jungkook to him for them to have a heart-to-heart chat. They discuss how close they used to be, but aren't anymore, and then Tae opens up about his recent struggles, JK offers him some advice, and while things between them aren't the same now as they were when they were young, they've bridged the gap by reconnecting on In the Soop, and now they can start to be close again. Yay! The power of hand-cut jamon and the use of the word "awkward" to describe a relationship four times in eight minutes.

Sorry, I've been working on this all day and I'm a little salty.

Anyway, that's the neat little narrative implied by this scene, and it's the story basically everyone who watched it or has heard of it comes away with. And I don't blame them honestly, it's pretty well done. What's here is interwoven in such a way that this story just sort of tells itself in your head as you hear all the different pieces.

But yeah, the entire thing is carried by Jungkook's interview. Jungkook's specifically, because either they didn't talk to Tae about it at all, or his answers never made it into the show. Either way, it's pretty telling in my opinion.

When it comes down to it, the entire narrative outlined above is predicated on the first part of the conversation where they talk about their trainee days. In the conversation itself, Tae and JK never say a word about feeling awkward, struggling in their relationship with each other -- none of that. They're literally only talking about how close they were as kids. You could read this as meaning that they aren't as close anymore, and that's what's ultimately implied by the interview, but it doesn't mean that inherently. All they're doing is acknowledging that their bond was both close and immediate, and some of the reasons why that was the case.

It's only the context from Jungkook's interview, where he says that "there was a side of things that started to get a bit awkward with V," whatever the hell that means, that changes the tone of the conversation between him and Taehyung.

And that brings us to the timeline. The implication, because of how this conversation is set up and/or edited, is that we're looking at the full scope of Taekook's relationship here, from trainee days to COVID. Part one of the conversation talks about their trainee days, part two talks about COVID and its consequences for Taehyung, and Jungkook's interview fills in the gaps: they were close in their trainee days, then they weren't, now they are again. The implication becomes, based on the lack of more specific information, that basically all of the time between their trainee days and COVID, things were "awkward" and "distant." (Though I have to point out, again, that neither of them actually said they ever got distant, that only ever appeared in the descriptive subtitles.)

Now, could this narrative be actually true? Sure. But because they're so vague about the timeline, many others could also be true. For example, the way I took it when I first saw this scene, much earlier in my BTS ~journey: that they were close all this time, no awkwardness, until COVID happened, they stopped seeing each other all the time, and then things became awkward for them since they had to navigate that change in their friendship and weren't quite sure how to do it.

Another possible interpretation: absolutely everything Jungkook said was exactly and entirely the accurate truth, but it all happened in 2014. Maybe it was 2018, when Jungkook was going through something and started to pull away from the members. Maybe the awkwardness and difficulty communicating was the result of one of Taehyung's episodes of depression. Or all of those changes happened when they started dating, and the "side of things" that "started to get a bit awkward" was their on-cam relationship as a direct result of their being romantically involved and Big Hit's policy on how to handle that. (You might be able to guess that this is my personal theory.) Or maybe Taehyung really did have that affair with Jungkook's parents.

We'll likely never know, but my point -- and I really hope I've made it clear -- is that the details are so fuzzy that based on Jungkook's and Taehyung's actual spoken words, the narrative most of the fandom came away with is only one of many possible backgrounds of this story. In fact, if all we saw was the conversation between the two of them, without Jungkook's interview, I seriously doubt we would have come away with this whole story of them growing apart and coming back together at all. Take away the subtitles telling the viewer how to interpret what's happening on screen and we would just have had a simple conversation where two people reminisce about the early days of their relationship, discuss their recent struggles, and have a drink together. Everything people take away from this scene comes from the framework.

I can't explain everything that happens in this really weird segment of this show. I don't know if Jungkook knew what was up when Jimin came to get him. I suspect that maybe they both knew they had to have this conversation scene at some point, but it was up to their discretion when and where, and so he may genuinely have been surprised and thrown off at first. That would also explain Jin's, "Is it date night?" which...I mean. Does this require analysis?

I might even be inclined to think that most of the conversation was genuine, and maybe it really was, but covering their trainee days with all the standard talking points, the obvious use of high-quality cameras on them, the repeated aspects of the conversation with another group later, and the way they clearly loosen up once the meat of the conversation is over all point to this being at least mostly pre-planned. We all know Taehyung is less likely to go along with something he doesn't like, or at least more likely to make it obvious that he doesn't like it, than Jungkook is, so the fact that only Jungkook is interviewed about the topic stands out to me as suspicious.

In the end, though, you can interpret this scene however you want. Basically literally. My personal interpretation is really only one of many that make sense given the extremely limited information provided. All I really hope I've accomplished here is pointing out how the narrative that is the given takeaway from this segment is one that doesn't actually come from the conversation between Taehyung and Jungkook at all, but that it relies heavily on added subtitles, vagaries in Jungkook's personal and private interview (where he looks consistently uncomfortable as he speaks, and performs a number of self-soothing motions), editing to guide the viewer along through a story (albeit a disjointed one), and a critical lack of information which allows the subtitles and the viewer's own minds to fill in the blanks.

So the final question is: why do this? Why go to the trouble of creating this moment, piecing it together, and broadcasting it, all to tell the viewer a story about these two people that isn't actually very clear and could have taken place at any time over the last ten years? In my opinion? To get to the conclusion of that story. To resolve it.

Big Hit is acknowledging that things have been "awkward," even if they're failing to provide a reason why, and they've shown Taehyung and Jungkook fixing that problem. Now they're "close friends who share each other's problems." Going forward: no more awkwardness.

Thanks to this scene, as weird as it is once you start closely examining it, no one questions the sudden rise in Taekook content that began at the end of 2019, seriously spiked in 2020, and has remained consistent since. Big Hit told a story of two awkward, distant friends who have worked out their issues and become close again, and most people bought it. It worked. Most of the fandom accepts that Taehyung and Jungkook have been working on their friendship and are much closer now, and that the reason we see more of them in content at this point is a direct result of that.

And like I said, it could be true. I've personally seen too much to believe it, but it's clear that the scene had its intended affect, at least for the most part, and whether Taehyung and Jungkook really did repair their awkward and distant relationship, or they simply found a way to explain away their suddenly much more prevalent displays of closeness and affection, it's clear that they're happier than ever in their relationship with each other, whatever it is.

So yeah, while I get a little bitter when uncritical readings of this scene are thrown around to make people who see something different between Taehyung and Jungkook seem stupid/crazy/delusional/insert your insult of choice here, I can't really be mad about the scene itself. Sure, it's made some people more convinced than ever that Jungkook and Taehyung are "distant" and "awkward," but if it's helped in any way to make Jungkook and Taehyung themselves freer and happier, then it's done more good than it has harm.

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night-unfurls-its-splendour · 3 years

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Every Emma Woodhouse Ranked and Rated

With all my reviews of all the period-set adaptations now finished, I'm beginning my series in which I rate and rank each interpretation of all the principle characters, starting with our girl Emma!

Now I wanna be clear--I am not rating the actresses that played Emma. I am rating how the character was handled in general in each adaptation. The actresses are a factor, but they're not the sole factor, since the writer and director have as much, if not more, to do with how the character ends up in the finished product. So without futher ado, let's rank...

“Emma Woodhouse, handsome, clever, and rich, with a comfortable home and happy disposition, seemed to unite some of the best blessings of existence; and had lived nearly twenty-one years in the world with very little to distress or vex her….

“The real evils indeed of Emma’s situation were the power of having rather too much of her own way, and a disposition to think a little too well of herself; these were the disadvantages that threatened alloy to her many enjoyments.”

NUMBER 5: 1972

Portrayed by: Doran Godwin

Age at time of filming: 28

Clocking in as the oldest actress to play Austen’s famously TWENTY-ONE year old heroine (at the ripe age of 28), Doran Godwin also snags the coveted position as inhabiting the worst portrayal of the character (in my personal estimation) to date.

Just about everything about this interpretation of Emma Woodhouse is bad, from her seemingly automated recital of her lines to her all-too-intense, wide-eyed, hypnotic stare. The 1972 portrayal of Emma highlights all the character’s worst qualities while also failing to convincingly communicate her good qualities, such as her caring nature. The script is equally to blame for the awfulness of this interpretation, adding unnecessarily cruel and condescending lines, including one where she negs Harriet for being sad after Elton’s marriage, and then forces Harriet to come with her to meet the new Mrs. Elton, when Emma in the book did her best to shield Harriet from exactly that kind of situation.

Godwin couldn’t pass for 21 if her life had depended on it, and the worst part is that the script actually states Emma’s age, so she seems like a bit of a crazy spinster, preying on the naïve Harriet. Whether it’s her intent to bathe in Harriet’s blood to keep herself young, or to bake her into a pie is up for debate.

Rating: 1/5 Half-finished portraits

NUMBER 4: 2020

Portrayed by: Anya Taylor Joy

Age at time of filming: 23

I thought long and hard about this. This movie is a modern period drama phenomenon. It’s gotten so many people into Jane Austen and satisfied long-time Austen fans by giving them an interpretation they never dared hope to see. It’s a gorgeous film.

But I don’t like this interpretation of Emma Woodhouse. Though Anya Taylor Joy is one of the youngest actresses to play Emma (only two years older than the character) she’s played with a careful stiffness that perhaps shows us a glimpse of the Lady Catherine she might turn into without swift intervention. That’s not necessarily a bad thing, and this isn’t a commentary on Anya Taylor Joy either—her appearance or her acting ability—but I just don’t like her as Emma. And she’s not the sole problem, she turns in a solid performance, she’s a good actress, but something about this characterization is just off-color to me. Anya Taylor Joy plays a great mean-girl; but I think that’s one of the reasons why they thought she’d be a good choice for this role, and it’s one of the prime reasons I don’t think she wasright for it. Emma is a deeply flawed character and, of course, the biggest turning point in her story comes as a result of a thoughtlessly mean remark to someone who has only ever shown her deference, hospitality and gratitude.

All that said, Emma is not, at her core, a cruel person. Emma has gone all her life thinking condescending things about Miss Bates but it’s only when Frank comes along and validates her less kind commentaries that she actually starts to voice them in search of validation from a peer.

The problem with this in the context of 2020’s Emma Woodhouse is that Frank hardly gets a look-in in this adaptation. Emma’s relationship with him is severely underdeveloped and the actors don’t have enough chemistry to pull it off in the limited time they’re given. The result is that Emma appears to cross a line just to cross it, and it pushes Emma’s character from thoughtless to out-and-out frigid.

Still better than Doran Godwin, since she's identifiably human.

Rating: 2 1/2 / 5 Half-finished portraits

NUMBER 3: 1996 (MIRAMAX)

Portrayed by: Gwyneth Paltrow

Age at time of filming: 24

Despite the fact that Gwyneth Paltrow was an appalling casing choice for Emma Woodhouse (I will be forever salty that they passed over Joely Richardson), and I know there are some who will think me, at best, crazy (sacrilegious, at worst) for ranking 1996’s interpretation of Emma higher than 2020, I actually feel that solidly in the middle is right where this version of the character belongs.

There’s so much wrong with this Emma: she swings from mature to bizarrely infantile at the drop of a hat, much of her script is genuinely tragic, Gwyneth can’t convincingly portray Emma's social naiveté, her accent is overwhelmingly nasal and impossible to listen to, just for starters.

And yet… I don’t hate her. I don’t like her particularly either, but even though much of the dialogue re-working butchered Austen’s prose, there are a lot of things McGrath seems to have gotten right about Emma’s character. Her relationship with Knightley feels comfortable and playful, and, while Emma of the book probably doesn’t really care for Harriet Smith in the spirit of true bosom friendship, I believe she does care about her and wishes to spare her (further) pain. She shows exasperation with Harriet while still being patient with her, which is very much in the spirit of the book. Her concern for Harriet at the ball feels real, and her contrition at Box Hill following Knightley’s rebuke, while not profound, at least feels like contrition and not self-pity.

Perhaps, given the soft-take that the Miramax version is, it shouldn’t be surprising that the biggest faults in characterization rest on awkward writing and the biggest triumphs highlight Emma’s better side. It’s not a very in-depth take on the character, but it at least, is an adequate one.

Rating: 3/5 Half-finished portraits

NUMBER 2: 1996/97 (ITV)

Portrayed by: Kate Beckinsale

Age at time of filming: 23

Those who’ve read my reviews of each adaptation of Emma might be surprised to see ITV’s portrayal of the title character sitting so high on my list. To be frank, it’s a distant second, and she may have stolen the number two spot only because she’s played by Kate Beckinsale and not Gwyneth Paltrow.

In truth, I see a lot of parallels between 1997’s Emma and 2020’s. Both actresses were 23 (or thereabouts) when they played the role, both have extremely childish moments, and both crumple down and burst into tears that don’t feel entirely genuine after Box Hill.

So why is 1997 on the good side of the number 3 spot and 2020 isn’t? I’m not precisely sure. I think it may be because Andrew Davies (and/or Diarmuid Lawrence) at least understood the scale of Emma Woodhouse’s wealth and status. This Emma feels sufficiently self-important, a bit haughty, sure—but she’s also believably naïve. You feel her isolation, you understand her caring relationship with her father, and she’s not as patently rude to Robert Martin compared to the 2020 version (she at least acknowledges his presence when he meets Emma and Harriet in the lane).

Grudging though this favorable placement may be, I can at least acknowledge that Emma herself is the least of my problems with this version, and even though Beckinsale’s acting is a bit sketchy at certain points, she also has some truly great moments, especially her interaction with Robert Martin at the end of the film. This portrayal is consistent, and Emma’s better qualities aren’t overpowered by her negative ones.

Rating: 4/5 Half-finished portraits

Number 1: 2009

Portrayed by: Romola Garai

Age at time of filming: 26

And in a shocking twist—I’m kidding this is neither shocking nor unexpected to anyone who knows me or has read my blog/reviews of the Emma adaptations. Am I totally biased? Probably. I don’t care, this is a completely subjective list. Here, finally—my first and true love as Emma Woodhouse—is Romola Garai. I suppose it’s also not surprising that the first actress I ever saw in the role would still be my favorite a decade on. I just love everything about this interpretation of the character. She rides the very difficult line of being bright, caring and intelligent, while also being completely naïve and lacking in social savvy (in her own age-group at least), coddled, and painfully sure of her own self-importance.

Even though Garai was 25 or 26 at the time (far too old for the character—almost as old as Doran Godwin) her energy and charisma are enough that she’s able to carry it off convincingly. Everything about this Emma screams youth, and when Emma’s child-like social ignorance is her most prominent characteristic, it feels authentic and natural. Equally authentic are her emotions—her love for her family, her dynamic with Knightley, he exasperation, patience, and concern with Harriet. Most of all though, this Emma seems to experience the most maturation in the last quarter of the story. Box Hill really feels like a turning point—not just a chastened young woman, but a true coming-of-age moment. Emma faces a reckoning here that begins a chain reaction culminating in her realization of her feelings for Knightley, and everything from the writing to Garai’s performance conveys the magnitude of this shift in Emma’s life.

This version of the character seems the most… complete to me. Somehow, between Romola Garai’s vibrancy, Sandy Welch’s screenplay and Jim O’Hanlon’s direction, this interpretation takes an extremely divisive character and helps the viewer understand just why everyone in Highbury loves Emma Woodhouse.

Rating: 5/5 Half-finished portraits

~~~~

If you liked this, check out my rankings of Mr. and Mrs. Weston

#emma woodhouse #jane austen emma #jane austen #period drama #emma 2020 #emma 2009 #emma 1996 #emma 1972 #romola garai #kate beckinsale #anya taylor joy #gwyneth paltrow

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iamanartichoke · 3 years

Text

... All right, let’s do this.

Under the cut bc there’s SO MANY images, and I’m sorry, and I know the cut is worthless to mobile users but, well, here we are. Please don’t unfollow me for this post specifically.

^^ I can’t decide if this woman holding the Tesseract is impressive or not bc, I mean, she’s wearing a glove - but, Red Skull probably was, too? Also the TVA are obviously not humans, so “impressive” may be generous. On the other hand, “only beings of enormous power” can wield the Tesseract/infinity stones, so.

Loki looks pissed.

“I know what this place is.” I like this, bc it provides us with some narrative evidence that Loki has always known much more about the universe and How Things Work than anyone cared to realize. Loki’s always known what’s going on; that he isn’t ignorant to the existence or inner functions of the TVA feels in-character.

Inception!

Lokiception!

Why does every shot of the TVA’s headquarters look like the inside of a poorly-lit DMV? Though I guess it fits with the “timelessness” of it all as, after all, time ceases to exist or have meaning once you enter the DMV.

But I digress.

I’ve already remarked on the “I’m smart” comment, but I do like this shot.

I really love what Loki’s hair is doing here, I don’t even care. For better or for worse, his hair’s doing it’s own all-natural thing and I dig it. Let it move, let it dance, let it fall into his face and obscure his features as fanfic has allowed so many times.

I’m not a fan of the exaggerated jump or “wtf” expression along with “this is absurd” but THIS moment? Classic Loki. He looks 500% done and we’re only 51 seconds in. Also, I refuse to believe that stack of papers is everything Loki’s ever said. I know we all complained about the “you love to talk” line but, I mean, certainly he’s said more than approximately the total sum of Ulysses in his 1000 years of existence.

Here’s what I want to know:

1. How does Loki taking the Tesseract result in so many new timeline branches? Surely he’s only responsible for one new timeline? I really, really hope they address that this is all the Avengers’ fault.

2. What timeline is WandaVision and TFatWS taking place in? The main one, I presume? How do we know it’s not one of these alternate ones?

3. Which timeline is Agents of SHIELD in and will they be addressed? Bc they got up to all kinds of Time Shenanigans in seasons 5, 6, and 7 to the point where I’m pretty sure they split off into their own universe (which is why they weren’t affected by the Snap or that whole thing, or so I’ve heard). If Loki crosses paths with Coulson & crew, I may pee my pants.

4. So where does Jessica Jo - ah, forget it, I’m not even going to ask.

I wonder what it is about this “unique Loki perspective” that Mobius is interested in recruiting. (Incidentally, I don’t think I’ve ever seen Owen Wilson in, like, a real role - wherein he’s not playing some version of Owen Wilson, that is. He’s got a costume and everything here. Fun to see!)

This is a bamf shot, okay. The way it’s framed is pretty intimidating.

“You listen well, brother -”

“I’m listening.”

^^ I figured out what kind of energy this moment has, lmao.

“It’s adorable that you think you can manipulate me.” I mean, do I even have to comment? I am here for narratively validating the “Loki is ten steps ahead” (heh, and I quote) canon. Here’s another place where I feel like Tom was involved, since I’m pretty sure that somewhere, he’s literally said “Loki’s always ten steps ahead of everyone else.”

That said, I’m not crazy about the delivery of this line; the over-confident tone of it smacks of “here’s someone about to get knocked the fuck off their pedestal” and I’m not here for that.

That said, these next scenes -

- not only show Loki with the upper hand but, also, it’s clear that Loki goes rogue at some point, possibly early on, and I do like that. Drag me if you will, but I want to see Loki scheming and being manipulative, in his own interests.

I think that Loki being the protagonist will allow them to portray his manipulation in a way that the audience is on his side. I don’t think that the TVA is being framed as the “reliable narrator” through which the audience should view Loki, or “good guys” at all; I think that maybe they’re not evil, but there’s probably a lot of morally-grey shenanigans and goings-on.

I also think Loki is capable of outwitting them; Loki, being ten steps ahead, has probably figured out something that the TVA has not even thought of yet, so he’s going to fix things his own way, according to his own plan. And I want to see that, because I think that this will give the narrative room to really explore both how Loki thinks and what he does when his plans go awry (as I’m sure they’re bound to do); like, how will he fix it and still remain on top in the end?

So, I mean, I’m pretty intrigued (and still cautiously optimistic).

Lots of action shots happening, I won’t add even more images to this post, but this magic is still giving me life.

What is this, a food court? (Speaking of which , what’s up with all the action in the mall earlier?)

“I’ve studied almost every moment of your life”

(^^ Missed opportunity)

“and you’ve literally stabbed people in the back like 50 times.”

Receipts or it didn’t happen, and that’s all I’m gonna say about that line right now.

Thanks, I hate it. This is all wrong, this whole thing - just awful, scrap it, toss it out. Tom, I love you, but this was the wrong delivery and an all-around bad acting decision. It’s too over-the-top, too earnestly “well I never!”, too comical (as in, feels like it belongs in a comic with a speech bubble as opposed to funny).

Once more, with feeling. From the top!

I like that we get to see Loki doing a wardrobe change, as I don’t think we’ve gotten to see that before. He always just shows up in a new outfit or illusions one on.

That’s one ugly ass outfit, but you make it look passable, Loki. You’re beautiful, in case no one’s told you that today.

The remaining shots are very visually pleasing and action-y and I dig them, except the volcano one (stop posing with your arms outstretched every five seconds, Loki, it’s kinda cringe. In the above still, it works; in front of a volcano, it’s just tonally off. I say this with love, don’t @ me).

Overall, I think I maintain my 7/10 rating. I think that the trailer hints at a lot of potential in the story that I will enjoy seeing, and I think that the nature of it being a trailer means that it’s a little tonally hyperbolic (this is kinda the format for Disney shit; show the flashy bits, the funny (”funny”) bits, to draw in the casual viewer. Save the story bits for the show. (Case in point: there’s a lot of great material in TFatWS that happened just before or after the one-liners shown in the trailer.)

So, yes. Sorry this is such a mammoth post, I just needed to explode my feels. If you think the trailer’s awesome, kudos and I love you. If you’re disappointed and upset, I’m sorry and I love you. If you’re hovering in the middle, still in cautiously optimistic territory, pull up a seat and have some popcorn with me.

That is all.

#loki on the small screen #long post #image heavy post #loki pokey artichokey #mood gif #i honestly don't know if i should tag spoilers?#i don't think a trailer counts as spoilers personally #but ymmv so #loki series spoilers

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cassanovancats · 3 years

Text

felicitate. two.

one < current > three

Jan. 2017

Two months have passed since Yuta’s first day. You were able to convince Satoru that, because he shared the similar disadvantage of not having an inherent technique, you should control his training. Maki was still his primary partner when it came to afternoon sparring. But he was your partner in the mornings.

Every morning, the two of you would focus on a different part of the body or a different form of exercise. You spotted him in the weight room, you logged his mile times, and, most importantly, you became his friend. Over before-dawn laps and cool-down stretches, you got to know Yuta and Rika.

For the first month, Rika stayed as an intangible ball of energy hovering around Yuta. Then, slowly, she began to manifest a form. Only for a minute at a time initially, but with time, she would appear for the entire session. Rika would hover a few feet above the weight bench or make flower crowns from the wildflowers that grew around your preferred trail. Yuta seemed just as surprised as you when she placed one on your head after a week of her practicing making them. She explained how she wanted to make something just as pretty as you, with all the innocence of a child. You had thanked her with watery eyes.

But with all the peace that came after settling into a new routine with Yuta joining your class, something was bound to ruin it. This time it was a required meeting between the big three clans. The invitation that arrived specifically asked for both you and your brother’s presence. Satoru tried to squirm out of it saying, “They didn’t say which brother had to attend,” but Megumi's unimpressed look and point at the name Gojo sprawled across the top ended that excuse.

Which lead to where you are now, dragging your human classmates through the Ginza streets to collect a custom gown. Maki grumbled all morning, but you were finally able to shut her up with a promise of buying everyone coffee, lunch and take-out dinner. Inumaki was content with any excuse to go into the city (even if it meant he had to carry your bags) and Yuta didn’t have the nerve to reject your offer when you smiled so hopefully. Though, he was curious after the employee of the shop greeted you like an old friend. “Why do you need such a fancy dress?”

“I don’t,” you rolled your eyes. “I have, or had, several custom ones already. I donate almost all my clothes after wearing them to these events. These meetings, when me and Nii-chan are both requested, are used as an excuse to find ways to undermine the political status of Gojo’s. Nii-chan did not force me into years of tutoring on sorcerer history and politics for me to get clowned about wearing the same outfit as last time.”

Maki adds, “The Zen’ins and Kamos are the standard for sleazy shamans. Not every sorcerer is as nice as us.” Yuta nods hesitantly, which makes you snort.

“I know us kicking your ass constantly may not seem ‘nice,’ but trust me when I say I’d rather be getting tossed around by Maki or Panda than attending this dinner.”

“Bonito flakes.” You can tell Inumaki is pouting behind his face mask.

“C’mon, Toge-chan,” you draw out the ‘-chan’ and grab his free hand to swing it back-and-forth. “You know I didn’t mean it like that. It’s a good thing to not be grouped with Maki! She’s such a meanie when it comes to training.” Maki moves too fast for you to dodge her punch. Yuta laughs under his breath at your group’s antics. “Anyways, the most exciting part of this dinner will be seeing what Kamo schmuck they dig up to try to convince Satoru to marry me off.”

“They’re still on that?” Maki laughs and throws her arm over your shoulder. “You would think they’d catch the hint after you stopped wearing furisodes.”

“Salted fish roe,” Inumaki offers.

You sigh, “I would, but you know they wouldn’t treat you well. Escorting me would just mean you get to deal with their passive aggressive comments too.”

“What if I escort you?”

Your group stops walking in the middle of the crowded streets. People continue to push past, but the three of you continue to stare dumbfounded at Yuta. “Is it that bad of an idea?” He flushes bright red and turns his head to stare at the ground.

“No, no,” you reassure as you get the group moving again. “It’s just… well, you remember how we reacted when you came into the class initially, yeah? While they would make fun of Toge-kun, the people at this meeting would try to kill you without hesitation. There’s no guarantee even Rika could stop the full force of everyone in both the Zen’in and Kamo clans.”

Yuta gives a small, “Oh.” He continues to stare at the ground.

“Seriously, I would love to have an escort, especially if it was either of you. There’s only so much of clan politics I can take alone. But I’d never ask you or Toge to go through that for me.” You move from in between Maki and Inumaki to bump against Yuta. “Like, these people are the ultimate bullies. I want you to deal with them only when absolutely necessary.” He finally seems to cheer up some and you take the moment to grab his hand, tugging him forward. “Now c’mon! The bakery Nii-chan got those pastries from last week is only a few blocks away!”

The day of the meeting arrives without much fanfare. Satoru took Megumi out on a mission in the morning to exorcise some low-level curse and you were left at the school to start what would be a long day of preparations. You shuffle into the common area and begin making a cup of coffee. It isn’t until you turn to get creamer from the fridge you realize Yuta, Inumaki and Panda are eating breakfast in the same room. You flush, suddenly aware that you didn’t grab any sweatpants when you left your room and you had slept in a stolen pair of Satoru’s boxers. “Please tell me I’m still asleep,” you mutter, shutting your eyes and whipping back around to finish preparing your coffee.

Panda falls over laughing. Inumaki gives a loud whistle. Yuta is redder than you are and has his face almost flat against his rice. Of course, to add to your humiliation, Hakari and Maki come in from training.

“(y/n), I was never here and I never saw you,” Hakari throws his hand over his eyes and immediately turns to run towards his dorm room.

“You know, I don’t see why you don’t just attend dinner in this outfit,” Panda says.

“Of course you don’t, you literally don’t wear clothes. At least Hakari is smart enough to have some shame and not ogle at her.” Maki moves forward to steal a sip from your cup and gags, “God, how much sugar is in this thing?”

You pout, “The appropriate amount to get me through today. I need to borrow one of your thigh holsters, by the way. Nii-chan doesn’t want me to have to use his technique if something happens.”

“Nori?” The three jerks finally stop laughing, though Panda still seems particularly delighted at your embarrassment.

“Mm, I don’t think so. But some elders got pushy when I was sent to the last meeting and not my brother. Satoru wants me to be able to scare them, not maim them.”

“Salmon,” Inumaki still seems hesitant, but you and Maki move onto a different topic easily as you two walk to her room.

Yuta watches until he’s sure neither of you will hear him ask, “Will she really be okay?”

Inumaki, despite seeming hesitant before, gives a stronger, “Salmon.” He gestures for Yuta to pick up his phone (the boy has gotten better at understanding Inumaki, but wasn’t able to have a conversation yet) and sends a message in a group chat appropriately named Da Bois while Panda grumbles about how unfair it is that he has paws and can’t use a phone.

osamu: (y/n)ie is smiley but she’d kill someone if they tried anything lol

fushiguro: what did the idiot do

fushiguro: who is osamu

osamu: ofc u don’t know hq

fushiguro: what’s that supposed to mean

creepy-kun: when did you change my name >:(

Yuta pouts about the name change for the rest of the day and avoids his phone to keep from Inumaki’s teasing. He almost misses the photo you send in JJH Thots.

It’s you and your brother pressed cheek-to-cheek and making faces at the camera. Satoru has on his circular sunglasses instead of a blindfold, even though it’s clearly night in the photo. His bright, blue eyes peek over their edge, his smile wide, and he has one hand throwing a peace sign and the other on your side. Your mouth is tugged back into a snarl, but Yuta can see how a smile is starting to break through and your eyes are lit up. Both of your hands form claws, like you were a second away from jumping through the phone screen and pinning the viewer.

the good gojo: time to annoy some bastards!!

maki: tell naobito he’s a bitch

fushiguro: ^

osamu: you!! look!!! hot!!!!

the good gojo: the way satoru thought that was for him

the good gojo: it’s delusion luv

Yuta has seen the two of you in almost this exact pose in person. But you weren’t dressed like that, with the slightest hint of the black leather holster you wore peeking out from underneath soft layers of tulle. Even his usual carefree teacher is in Western formal wear, with a tie that matches the floral print on your dress. Yuta knew you had bickered over who got to pick and who had to match. He almost couldn’t imagine the people in the picture wrestling like the two of you had. Together, you two are blindingly beautiful. It wasn’t fair.

Yuta covered his face with his pillow and screamed.

#felicitate #cass.writes #jujutsu kaisen #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jjk x reader #inumaki x reader #yuta okkotsu x reader #inumaki x reader x yuta #female!reader #jjk spoilers #jjk volume 0 spoilers #this was written before panda's fan page said he can use phones #womp womp

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cellsshapedlikestars · 3 years

Note

Hon' if you are accepting prompts (and only if you are!) can I have some spooky Sansa and Jon? I'm still not over them in spooky scenarios so I would love to read anything about it.

And for something a little more specific (in case that helps): maybe ghost!Sansa and Jon moves to her place and she is not happy, but also she loves his dog?

Or maybe Addams AU!

Or maybe Jon is the ghost and Sansa moves into his place?

Or they are talkshow hosts or something and a ghost is trying to get them together?

Or maybe YouTubers AU and their followed bug them until they agree to a Collab and it's Halloween or something like that?

Okay I went all over the place and clearly have too many ideas, but feel free to choose any of you do choose something!

First of all, I guess I'm sort of always taking prompts? I'll never turn them away, though they may also sit in my inbox forever (I'm looking at you, the last anon prompt from when I asked for them back in December...)

Second, spooky prompts! ❤️👻❤️👻❤️ If there's anything I love in this world, it's the supernatural/paranormal. And it may be the middle of summer, but I'm already longing for spooky season and I've been trying to vibe with it but it's hard when the days are so long, hot, and humid. (I desperately want to be able to go outside and not feel like I'm breathing soup, thank you very much.)

Before I get to the prompt itself, because I'm too wordy for my own good - your one prompt of Sansa/Jon is a ghost and the other moves in to their place... well, I've read that fic! It's actually locked on AO3 and I don't know if that means the author doesn't really want people finding it/linking to it, so I won't, but I guess DM me if you wanna know what it is?? I don't know the protocol for that. There's also Haunt Me, Then by the lovely @ode-to-an-inkwell which I read back when I was lurking and I loved it. It's the same base premise, but with a ton more plot!

The prompt I have chosen is the youtuber collab! Because I also love writing about/dissecting social media, apparently.

Sansa breathes – deep and even – and tries to stay centered in the middle of her group (away from the edges, away from the dark corners and the sounds coming from them and the people she knows are waiting for her there).

She wishes with all her strength that her followers had never found out that she's related to Robb. It's not something she was hiding, necessarily, but when she started her channel, she'd kept a lot of her personal life private. And honestly, she never thought it would get to this point – the point where she has millions of followers and Robb and Theon have millions of followers and those followers inevitably found out she and Robb are siblings.

A collab had been unavoidable. She just wishes it were any other activity than... this.

She lets out a strangled scream as something crashes to her right and she stumbles left, straight into the other person who's been dragged along tonight – Jon Snow. He catches her arm and keeps her upright and she almost thanks him until she hears him let out a laugh. It infuriates her and she rips her arm out of his grasp and sends him a glare, though it's short lived when she sees what looks like a jar of eyeballs on a shelf behind him and bile twists in her stomach.

She hates Halloween - she hates horror movies and jump scares and gore, and she especially hates haunted houses. But what else should she have expected for this collab? Robb and Theon have a dumb prank channel, of course they'd bring her – notorious wimp Sansa Stark – to a haunted house for the video. She thinks Robb got permission to film, because Dacey and Olyvar are flanking them with cameras to capture everyone's reactions.

“It's all fake,” Jon reminds her, though she barely hears his voice over the din of sound effects echoing through the dark corridor as they pass from one room to another.

“I know that,” she hisses, heart pounding wildly. They approach a doorway and – sure enough – right as she passes through, there's a person with heavy special effects makeup waiting on the other side to grab at her (another thing she resents – this is one of those places where the actors can touch you. They'd had to sign a waver). She screams in the actor's faux-bloody face and she swears he laughs at her.

In front of her, Robb and Theon are being obnoxious as usual. She doesn't really condone their prank channel and has often had to reign them in from doing something that would get one of them needlessly hurt (or would be considered, you know, illegal). Jon is usually an unwilling participant in their videos, and he has his own woodworking channel that has nowhere near the viewership that her makeup channel or Robb and Theon's prank channels do (she's told him, over an over, that if he showed his face on camera, he'd get more viewers, but he insists that he wants the focus to be on his work, not him). Jon walks next to her, calm, like nothing in this place fazes him, and she sort of resents him for this.

She understands it's all fake, she's not stupid, but that doesn't stop her fear response from kicking in every time something jumps at her, every time lights flicker or go out. It doesn't stop her stomach from turning whenever she sees the needlessly gory scenes like that doctor cutting a girl open, her fake intestines spilling out as the actress screamed.

“It'll be over soon,” Jon leans in close so she can hear him better, and for a moment a sense of calm washes over her. She loses it, though, as he moves away to give her space and she panics and reaches out and grabs his hand, tugging him back close to her.

A strange look passes over his face, but he doesn't say anything, just lets her grab onto his arm as they continue through the haunted house. She can't explain it, but with Jon next to her she feels... safe. She knows none of this is real, she knows none of these actors will actually hurt her, but it doesn't seem to matter, and it doesn't seem to matter that Jon won't actually have to protect her (though she somehow knows that he would if he ever had to, and that's a strange realization to have as she's walking through a room of terrifying clowns).

When it's finally over and they're outside, she breathes a sigh of relief and she feels muscles that she hadn't even realized were tensed relax.

“That was awesome,” Theon nearly shouts at one of the cameras. He and Robb talk loudly and animatedly for the cameras about the house, summarizing it for their audience (she knows they're likely to cut out a lot of the extreme scares and gore, since a good portion of their audience are kids and young teens).

“You good?” Jon murmurs to her and she realizes she still has a death grip on his arm.

“Oh,” she breathes with a forced laugh, “yeah,” and she lets go of his arm and immediately wishes she could have it back. (And then, some part of her brain whispers that she wishes she could have his arm wrapped around her instead, but she pushes that thought out because where did that even come from?)

Jon brings a hand up to scratch at his beard and shifts on his feet and she wonders if its because he feels awkward on camera. Jon's never liked being on camera, not really – it's why Robb and Theon always have to catch him off guard and why his videos – at most – only feature his hands and forearms (the comments on his videos about how attractive his hands and forearms are had been one of her main arguments for showing his face, but Jon had gotten weird after that and so she'd dropped it eventually).

“Hayride next?” Robb asks, which brings her back to the present.

“There's more?” she whines, twisting her face into a pout that always got her out of trouble when she was a kid, but Robb and Theon are already making their way towards the next attraction.

“You can sit next to me,” Jon offers, and she feels relief flood through her. “I'll be on the outside.”

She feels herself smile for the first time all night and nods and she's even more pleased when he – after a moment of hesitation – holds out his arm for her to take. She does so, curling her own arms around his and hugging it to her, keeping herself as close to him as possible as they walk through the fairgrounds to the haunted hayride.

They arrive right behind Robb and Theon and when Robb sees the way she's basically clinging to his best friend, there's a look that she can't figure out – it flicks from their joined arms, to Jon, then back to their arms, then to her, then back to Jon again and she feels Jon stiffen up next to her. Something silent passes between them and Robb looks almost... concerned? But then Jon shakes his head so subtly she thinks she's not supposed to see it and Robb nods back and turns around to face Theon and the cameras and Sansa's left more confused than anything.

The next tractor and wagon pull up to the entrance and the previous riders disembark. She waits with Jon, and though there's a slight fluttering in her stomach, she's not terrified like she had been right before the haunted house. Jon keeps his word and as they climb onto the open-topped wagon, he lets her sit in the middle and he takes the outside so she won't have to deal with the actors that run up to them during the ride. She settles into the hay and, without thinking, leans her head on his shoulder, arm still linked through his.

“Thank you,” she says.

“Robb and Theon shouldn't have made you do this,” Jon says back and his voice sounds a bit shaky. She can't see his face, she's too comfortable resting her head against him to look up, but she wonders why he sounds nervous. Maybe he's more scared of all of this than he was letting on? He hadn't seemed nervous at all in the haunted house.

“Don't worry, I'm going to have so much fun giving them a full face of glam makeup when it's time to make the video for my channel.” That's the point of this collab – she does a video for their channel and they do one for hers.

Jon lets out a soft laugh as the tractor starts up and the wagon lurches forward, heading into the dark forest. “Can I watch?”

“Definitely,” she says as she squeezes his arm tighter, her heart jumping at a noise off in the woods – a signal that the scares are about to start. “You should let me do your makeup,” she continues to try and distract herself. “I think glam makeup would look amazing with your beard.”

“Sure,” she can feel his shoulder lift into a shrug, and that does make her lift her head up and look at him.

“You would? I thought you hated being on camera?”

He shrugs again, but whatever response he was going to give is cut off as an actor takes a running leap at the wagon, latching onto the side and pulling himself up, and the passenger nearest to him (right in front of Jon) screams. Sansa sucks in a breath and tries to calm her racing heart (and out of the corner of her eye, she sees Dacey with a camera pointed right at her and Jon, a smirk on her face).

She spends the rest of the ride (and all through the haunted corn maze), hanging onto Jon for dear life and she swears his calm presence is the only reason she survives.

(And when she finally gets home to her little apartment and gets into bed, she tries desperately not to think too hard about why that is. She tries not to analyze the safety she felt with him or the way her heart had been fluttering during the car ride home, sitting in Robb's back seat and staring at Jon's profile illuminated by moonlight in the front seat as he and Robb talked and joked around. She tries not to obsess about the way he'd told her to call him if she ever wanted him to be in one of her videos, tries not to read too much into the look Robb had given Jon when he said it.)

(She tells herself that the reason she can't sleep that night is because of the haunted house.)

(It's definitely not because of Jon.)

#ask #prompt fic #jonsa #jonsa fic #spooky season baby #we're starting early #though really #does spooky season ever end?

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dukeofonions · 4 years

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The Problem With Asides

Before I get into anything I want to clarify that this is not going to be a criticism of the two Asides episodes we’ve gotten so far. This is a critique of the concept of Sanders Asides as a separate series from the original Sanders Sides. A second note I want to make is that this is, just as all my other posts are, a personal opinion. This is not meant to be an attack on anyone, just a general criticism from a confused writer and viewer of the show.

And final disclaimer: A lot of what I’m going to say is based on information that I no longer have available. It’ll mostly be me recalling things I heard and if I at any point get something wrong please feel free to let me know.

That being said, let’s get into this, shall we?

(Fair warning this post is very long hence why I’ve divided it into parts so feel free to read then come back as you wish)

Part One: The Concept of Asides

Some time ago last year, I believe shortly after Dealing With Intrusive Thoughts came out, was when the idea for Sanders Asides was first announced. The basic concept of it being shorter, more lighthearted videos focusing on the Sides outside of the main storyline. This format would allow them to give us more Sides content in between the long waits for the main series since those episodes were beginning to take more time to produce.

Of course, everyone was eager for more Sides, so the majority of people were excited. Not only that but due to the main series tackling heavier themes, the episodes were becoming more angsty with less time for the characters to just relax and goof off with each other. The idea of having episodes reminiscent of the low stakes, sillier, happier content of season one was a welcome break from the more complex episodes and would be a nice return to form for the series.

We were also informed that these episodes would be much simpler than their main series counterparts and wouldn’t disrupt the work being done on Sanders Sides, which meant we didn’t have to worry about long gaps between the main story episodes, right?

(Another disclaimer: I am perfectly aware of the main reason why we were not given as much content last year and am not blaming Thomas or the team for doing what was necessary to keep themselves safe and hope they continue to do so as this continues into the new year)

Jump to November 22, 2019, where we got our first official episode of Sanders Asides, roughly five months after DWIT came out. Which, for this fandom, was record time to get more content and I was pleasantly surprised by how quickly they were able to get this out. Though at the same time, I wondered why it took five months to make what was meant to be a short, simple episode.

So imagine my surprise when I went to watch the episode and saw it was nearly 20 minutes long. Which, okay, isn’t that bad when you compare it to the lengths of the more recent Sanders Sides episodes. But at the time, I was under the impression that the Asides would be, well, much shorter. The longest I expected would be maybe 15 minutes, but you know what? It’s the first episode and it has been a while since we’ve had Sides content, so maybe they wanted to give us a little extra due to the long wait.

I started the episode and at first, I was overjoyed when I saw the first shot of all the Sides sitting in the living room in their onesies about to have a movie night. This was exactly what I’d been hoping to see from this series! It’s pretty much a staple thing in the fandom for the Sides to have movie nights together, and now it was happening in canon!

At the moment, I had high hopes for this series and was filled with joy.

Then that hope and joy were immediately crushed when I realized this was yet just another Virgil-centric angst episode. In fact, this entire episode was, well, exactly like a regular Sanders Sides episode. Sure, there were some jokes here and there, but the tone of the episode was no lighter than the last Sanders Sides episode. If anything DWIT felt lighter in comparison to this one.

Which leads me to ask, what the heck happened?

Part Two: Literally the Same Show

At this point in time, we’ve only had two episodes of Asides. Usually, I try to hold off my judgment of a series until I’ve had at least one other episode to see if my original criticisms still stand.

To be fair, I did think Flirting With Social Anxiety was a step in the right direction. More comedy, a lighter tone, yes. Perfect. But again, just like with Are There Healthy Distractions? This episode quickly dove right back into the angst pool, and just like ATHD it was a pretty long episode, clocking in at almost 25 minutes.

Not only that but again, both FWSA and ATHD don’t feel any different from the episodes we’ve been getting in Sanders Sides.

1. They’re just as angsty.

2. Roughly the same length as Sanders Sides episodes.

3. Take about just as long to produce.

4. Contain a lesson to be learned.

Which, okay, you can have lessons in lighter shows too, but we’re already getting that in Sanders Sides and Sanders Asides was described as, well, being less plot heavy. Yet so far both episodes are still tied in with the main plot.

ATHD deals with the aftermath of DWIT, not directly but it’s pretty obvious that the whole thing with Virgil’s reveal at the end of that episode is being addressed in the background. Which, kind of takes away the impact of that ending, but I’ll get to that later.

Then FWSA takes place after Putting Others First and again, is dealing with things from that episode in the background. Again though, this isn’t necessarily a bad thing. It makes sense to see the characters dealing with things from past events.

So why is it a problem here? Because, again, Sanders Asides is meant to be a separate series, and all the subtext brought on from the episodes in Sanders Sides makes the plots in these two episodes confusing.

For example, I was perplexed during my first watch of FWSA because I couldn’t understand why the focus of the conflict was lying. I didn’t understand why Virgil and Roman came to the conclusion that Thomas’ reason for being unable to approach Nico was because he was lying to himself, when both the title of the episode and what we were shown points more to, well, social anxiety being the problem.

(Quick note: One could argue that this was done purposefully to have Virgil putting the blame on Janus since he doesn’t like him and wouldn’t want to admit that he was the one responsible, but this series has had a bad habit of favoring Virgil in the past so until we get more answers I’m gonna leave this on the backburner)

It didn’t help that I had no idea when this episode was meant to take place in the timeline, and I originally thought it could take place a bit after season two since Roman and Virgil seemed to be doing better, but more on them later.

All of this bugged me until I found out that FWSA takes place after POF, and after watching the live stream that followed and getting some more context, the lying thing made a bit more sense, but the fact that I was as confused as I was just caused more frustration to build up. And I wasn’t the only one who got thrown off by the “Lying is wrong” message of FWSA so I had to ask again, why was this episode a Sanders Asides when apparently, you need information from the last Sanders Sides episode in order to understand it?

So you’re telling me, that the second episode in what is supposed to be a separate series that isn’t meant to be a part of the main plot, is now integral to the plot of the main story you’re telling in what is, as you have said, a separate show? How does that make any sense?

Okay, one could argue that Thomas getting a love interest doesn’t really fit with the current storyline that’s going on in Sanders Sides, and that is a fair point. The problem with that is, FWSA takes place right after Putting Others First.

You all remember what happened at the end of that episode, right?

Part Three: Intrusive Plots

At this point we’ve all become rather accustomed to the long waits in between videos, it’s nothing new to us, and for the most part they haven’t done anything to harm the current plot of Sanders Sides. Sure, the length of time between videos can cause people to lose interest, but for the most part the tone of the last three episodes of Sanders Sides hasn’t differed much and the story flow is still going along smoothly.

Let’s start with Selfishness vs Selflessness, which is the episode that sets up the big climax for season two. It’s still got its jokes and funny moments, but the overall tone is far more serious than previous episodes have been. This carries on into DWIT where Thomas has been so stressed out lately that he’s begun to have trouble with his intrusive thoughts.

Virgil even gives a pretty good summary of Thomas’ current mental state: “He recently realized he’s a bigger liar than he thought he was, he doesn’t understand himself, he’s committed to skipping a big callback, and he’s sleep-deprived. So yeah, he feels like a piece of dirt who has no control over his life.”

And all that was a direct result of the ending of SVS, despite DWIT not being the direct follow up to that episode the two are still intertwined. Remember that for later.

DWIT ends with the long awaited reveal of Virgil having been a “Dark Side.” Even though the majority of the fandom had figured it out by as early as Can Lying Be Good? That didn’t take away from the emotional gut punch that this scene was and it’s one of my favorite moments from the series. I may have to make a whole post breaking that scene down but what matters is that this scene was a turning point for Virgil’s character.

We’ve seen him trying to hide the truth from Thomas ever since Janus and Remus started popping up, and there were close calls with both of them nearly revealing it themselves and continuously dropping hints to Thomas. Only for Virgil to admit it to Thomas himself, and leave before Thomas can even say a word.

We don’t know for sure how Thomas is feeling in this moment, but it’s clear he’s been shaken by this. He doesn’t really have a lot of time to process it before he remembers to acknowledge the audience and close out the video.

This comes up again once we finally get to the monster of an episode that is POF, the follow up to SVS that everyone had been waiting over a year for. Right away we see that Patton and Roman will be at the forefront of this discussion with Logan popping up every now and then, but who doesn’t show up in this episode despite having played a role in SVS?

Virgil.

He’s nowhere to be seen and his absence is definitely felt. Why wouldn’t he be part of this discussion? He was there in SVS and had a lot to say on the matter, he was even part of the decision to choose the wedding over the callback! So why wasn’t he there?

Well, just look at the ending of DWIT and there’s your answer. Of course he isn’t about to show his face after that. Not when Thomas is already under so much stress already and he isn’t sure how Thomas will react to seeing him-

*insert random voice whispering off to the side*

Wait, Virgil has seen Thomas since DWIT? When?

*whispers continue*

Oh, right, they interacted in Sanders Asides. How did that go again?

*whispers explain*

Huh? Thomas said he’s cool with Virgil despite revealing that he’s been hiding something from him this whole time? That “something” being the fact that Virgil was once considered part of the others that were currently making Thomas’ life miserable?

*whispers confirm*

Really? They’re both okay with each other now? Well, good for them.

So wait, then why didn’t Virgil show up in POF? He was there during the first discussion and honestly he’d have more of a reason to show up than Logan who wasn’t really present at all in SVS.

*whispers explain*

He just wasn’t need there? Hm, alright. Guess that makes sense…

Well okay, Virgil and Thomas are on good terms once POF rolls around, Virgil isn’t present during the conversation because he isn’t needed and I suppose his presence would make things worse. Especially once Janus revealed himself, he wouldn’t allow him to get a word in. Even though Janus could probably silence him but I digress.

Fast forward towards the ending of POF, remember when I said to remember how SVS and DWIT were connected? Well DWIT is just as important to POF, acting as a bit of bridge between to the two episodes.

Janus brings up Remus (both directly and indirectly) twice in this episode.

First here:

Notice how Roman’s breakdown is already being foreshadowed here, the camera focusing on him while “Logan” says this isn’t an accident.

The second time Remus is brought up is at the very end after Janus has revealed his name:

“Oh, Roman thank God you don’t have a mustache. Otherwise between you and Remus, I wouldn’t know who the evil twin is.”

(No I am not posting screenshots of this scene I already got emotional over the last one)

As we saw at the end of DWIT, Roman does not have a good relationship with is brother. So much so that when Thomas refers to Remus as such, Roman creates a different analogy that compares Remus to a mirror, reflecting everything Roman doesn’t want to be.

Roman desperately wants to distance himself from Remus, not wanting anything to do with him. We’ve only gotten a glimpse of just how far this loathing goes, and part of that comes from Roman finally breaking down after being told by Janus that if it wasn’t for a mustache there’d be no difference between him and Remus.

This shook Roman more than anything else in the show has so far, moreso than him being the one to decide that Thomas should give up the callback. He was the one that pushed Thomas to make that decision, believing it was the noble thing to do, only for it to only make Thomas feel worse and then be told by Janus that his “noble sacrifice” was all for nothing.

Janus, the one who had been supporting Roman throughout SVS, buttering him up and encouraging him to go after his dream, told him that his sacrifice was worthless. Then to top it all off Janus admits what he did and brushes it off as a joke. He doesn’t apologize to Roman, leaving him in the dust, then when Roman responds by laughing at his name he’s shot down even lower.

And when he looks to Thomas and Patton for help, for answers, anything.

They stay silent.

Patton tries to reassure him, telling Roman that they love him, but he doesn’t believe it. He sinks out, and that’s the last we see of him.

Selfishness vs Selflessness, Dealing With Intrusive Thoughts, and Putting Others First are three of the biggest (and dare I say most important) episodes in the series. The three almost act like a trilogy, with POF leading to something bigger, the season finale. Which will be culmination of all three of these episodes.

We’ll be seeing Virgil’s reaction to Janus having been accepted by Patton and facing his own past as a “Dark Side.” Then we’ll find out what has become of Roman after he disappeared at the end of POF, and how it now affects his relationship with Thomas.

*whispers return and begin to whisper*

I’m sorry what?

*whispers repeat*

Virgil already knows about Janus getting somewhat accepted? Well okay I guess he would, wish we could have seen his reaction to that but oh well, no big deal. At least we got the Roman and Thomas confrontation to look forward to.

*whispers whisper*

Roman has already interacted with Thomas since POF? When?!

*whisper*

In FWSA? Oh yeah, how did that go again? It was super awkward right? Since Roman doesn’t really trust that Thomas loves or values him?

*whisperly whisper*

They get along just fine as if nothing happened?

*whispersty*

It looks like he might still be upset with him since he’s being a bit passive aggressive?

*whisper*

Can’t really tell because the three are too busy trying to talk to a cute guy at the mall?

Okay, I guess that all makes sense…

Looks like Roman and Virgil still aren’t on the best terms with Thomas but are able to push that aside to help him talk to this handsome stranger, and hey, it worked! Thomas now has a boyfriend! Just look at Roman and Virgil at the end, they’re both so happy with Thomas!

Looks like now they can focus on this new chapter in their life and leave the events of POF behind them. I mean, now that Roman and Virgil seem pretty cool with Thomas it would just feel weird to suddenly have them angry with him again, wouldn’t it?

Part Four: The Problem

Sanders Asides was originally described as being a series separate from the main storyline of Sanders Sides. Promising us shorter, less complicated episodes to give us a little something in between the longer, heavier episodes in Sanders Sides. This was a great idea that ended up falling apart the moment it began.

When I was going through SVS, DWIT, and POF I mentioned that the three of them felt like a trilogy. All three of them link together to tell one bigger story, and on their own they get the job done. They set up the season finale perfectly to the point where you have an idea of what to expect and what to look forward to.

The main things being the aftermath of Virgil’s reveal and Roman’s breakdown, which would most likely cultivate in them teaming up against Janus. This would also involve Virgil coming to terms with his past and Roman having to face Remus.

Of course, none of this has been officially confirmed, but given everything we’ve seen up to this point it just makes sense.

The story for season two is nearly complete, all we’re missing is the conclusion.

Then Sanders Asides showed up and threw everything off course. What was supposed to be its own thing crept into a story that was already (for all we knew) set up and being put into place.

We were told that the Asides wouldn’t do anything to disrupt the flow of Sanders Sides, yet it’s been confirmed that there will be one or two more episodes of Asides before we get the season finale.

Why? Why are these episodes necessary when everything was set to move forward after POF? If these episodes are that important that they absolutely have to be made before the finale then why are they simply not part of the main series?

You could say “Well they’re not directly tied to the main plot, that’s why.” But need I remind you that Asides as a concept was just intriduced after DWIT came out? These episodes were written specifcally for Asides, which unless I’m wrong means that they were just added into the main story with no planning whatsoever.

FWSA honestly feels like it should have been the start of season three, something that should have waited to be introduced after season two wrapped up because it’s just too much.

We already have so much to unpack from SVS, DWIT, and POF now we also have a new love interest on top of that?

Virgil and Thomas’ resolution doesn’t even feel all that special because it wasn’t talked about directly between them. Thomas was indirectly letting Virgil know they were still okay, so what does that leave for us? All that build up about Virgil being a “Dark Side” only for it to be brushed over like it was nothing, and this happened in an Asides episode, not even in the main series.

It also makes Virgil’s absence in POF confusing when they had already set up the perfect reason for him to be absent in DWIT, but according to the first episode of ATHD Virgil and Thomas are okay with each other. Sure, Virgil being there might have made things worse but at that point everyone was making things worse.

We no longer have a confrontation between Thomas and Roman to look forward to because in FWSA we see them interacting as normal. Even the passive agressiveness isn’t anything new to Roman and really, it all just sounds super petty which he had been known to behave like that even when nothing is seriously wrong. Not only that Roman is overjoyed at the end, having finally gotten something he desperately wanted, the happy ending he deserved.

All that’s left for him is to fave his feelings towards Remus, but what would even happen there?

The problem with Asides isn’t the quality of the episodes, FWSA is actually one of my favorite episodes. The problem with Asides is that the team is taking what should have been something small and turning it into a far too elaborate for what its original purpose was: To give us more lighthearted content to enjoy in between the waits for the heavier episodes.

Instead it just feels like they’re adding onto something that really didn’t need adding on to, creating more work for themselves when it just isn’t necessary, and that worries me.

Final Thoughts

Honestly, it’s hard for me to make all these judgments when no one has any idea what the finale is going to be like. And usually, the team is able to excede my expectations and create something amazing.

But with all these new Asides episodes that feel like they’re just being crammed in at the last second, it makes me wonder how the rest of the series will go if they continue down this road.

Season two started September 1st, 2017, it is now January 3rd, 2021. Throughout season two the production of episodes became more elaborate, and there have been complications that arose from trying to make these videos as a result that sent production screeching to a halt. And on top of that, these Sanders Asides have been added to create even more work for Thomas and the team.

I don’t understand why they’d do this to themselves when it’s already become more difficult than ever to make videos in general, not just Sanders Sides.

We were offered something simple that would have satisfied everyone during the difficult times, only to be given something that honestly, wasn’t even needed. I do appreciate Thomas trying to get us more content, but I don’t think he or the team realizes just how content we’d all be with just a five minute video of the characters we love just doing something as simple as hanging out and having fun, especially with how dark things have become all around us.

We don’t always have to be watching these characters struggle, sometimes we just need to see them be genuinely happy.

(Thanks to everyone who took time to read this monster of a post, I did not mean for it to get this long but it’s been dwelling on my mind for a while and I wanted to make sure I got out everything I wanted to say. Again, this is all just a personal opinions and you are not obligated to agree with me. If you have an objecting opinion I would not mind hearing it but please keep any discussions civil.)

#dukeofcritical #sanders sides #ts criticism #sanders sides criticism #patton sanders #roman sanders #virgil sanders #janus sanders #remus sanders #logan sanders #long post

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embermc · 4 years

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Seriously though, everyone please go watch Quackity’s pre-Doomsday scenes, they’re so amazing. (analysis under cut, /rp).

His stream genuinely began with c!Quackity in the lowest point we had ever seen him in. He had completely abandoned hope, completely given up on the idea that his enemies and the tyrants that he had always wanted to defeat could ever be defeated. He was solemn, tragically calm, to the point of acting genuinely depressed. The fighting spirit we had seen from him just the day prior was completely gone. And it made sense. Quackity had probably been the most adamant, the most determined to take down L’manberg’s enemies during Season 2. And that’s always been a big part of his character. Quackity hates tyrants, and anyone who tries to be tyrannical or hoard too much power. Throughout his entire arc, this fiery passion he had to take down anyone he saw as a tyrant, whether it be Dream, Schlatt, or even Techno, was a constant.

So Quackity tried various plans. The Butcher Army, Techno’s execution, Dream’s execution...but none of them worked. Each and every single one of them failed. His enemies, and the tyrants he wanted to slay, always got away, leaving him with only tragedy and defeat. And every time he failed, his anger, his aggression, his desire to achieve his goals, only furiously grew. His ideals became more and more corrupted, and his methods more and more shady. He began using tactics that he had previously been against (executions, lying to your people), because he so desperately wanted to accomplish his goals. It came to the point where Quackity’s next plan came into play: the potential execution of Ranboo. But when Quackity suggested this idea, it too was shut down (probably for a good reason), and Quackity was reprimanded. Another one of his ideas to take down the enemies he so vigorously hated had failed in front of him, and now the country that he had tried so hard to build up seemed like it was heading for destruction.

And on January 6th, when his stream begins, Quackity finally just breaks. He gives up. He gives up on L’manberg, on all of his friends, on his goals and plans to take down tyrants like Dream. Sadly and solemnly, he leaves L’manberg and runs away, planning to never come back. He even utters the infamous words, “It was never meant to be.” All of his plans had failed, his plans throughout the entire server had ALWAYS failed, and now it was going to lead to the destruction of L’manberg. L’manberg would be gone. By this point in time, Quackity’s goals and desires had become less about taking down tyrants and enemies in order to end their reign and because of justice, like they once were. No, he was taking down these people in order to consolidate power for L’manberg. He cared about building L’manberg’s global power, and making sure there were no threats to it. He wanted organization, and power, as he said himself. He even told Techno he didn’t care about the withers, or the anarchy. He wasn’t taking Techno and Dream down because of justice anymore, but rather to consolidate L’manberg’s power and control.

Now, without L’manberg, Quackity had lost hope and faith in all of his goals, because he had directly linked them to consolidating power for the government at this point. The fighting spirit he had was gone, and he saw no point in trying to fight the tyrants he hated anymore. He just wanted to run away, run away and never do anything again. So he takes his skeleton horse and runs, sets up a shack a few hundred blocks away from everything. He even contemplates killing the horse, but decides not to. Then, Quackity decides to read Ranboo’s memory book, out of curiosity, mostly. He had gotten possession of the book earlier, and kept it in his inventory. Ranboo, who Quackity had left L’manberg entirely hating. He had wanted to execute him, and despised him strongly for being a traitor. Quackity began to read Ranboo’s thoughts, Ranboo’s opinions.

He read through various pages, suddenly finding himself more and more immersed in the book. As you all probably remember from his streams, Ranboo wrote about how everyone seemed too occupied with fighting between factions and nations, when everyone should be allied against Dream. Dream is the real enemy, he has too much power, and he’s a tyrant.

But soon,Quackity pauses on one line in particular, a line about c!Dream, and goes silent. He highlights the line in the book, staring at it.

“Why does one man need so much power?”

Quackity reads the line to himself again and again, staring blankly at the page. Viewers can see it seems like he’s starting to have some thoughts, as he lets it sink it. And suddenly, he smiles, and laughs, repeating the line one more time as he looks at his horse and puts away the book. Why does one man need so much power?

And that’s when Quackity decides to come back to L’manberg and fight. And it’s such an integral moment to his overall character arc. Quackity here, was in his lowest position ever, and he opens up the book, the thoughts, of somebody who he had been so against, despised so much, and they changed his entire perspective. Quackity comes back to L’manberg and mentions to Tubbo how he had read a line by Ranboo, and it convinced him to come back and fight. However, Quackity also mentions that he knows L’manberg is doomed, but that it doesn’t matter to him anymore, and he would still fight. This is so important.

Up until this point, I mentioned how we had seen Quackity’s character motives and ideals shift from “I want to fight tyrants because I’m morally opposed to them, and I want justice. Nobody should have that much power to use for evil.” to “I want to fight tyrants in order to consolidate power for L’manberg, and I don’t want them to get in my way.” This plays into why, when he realized L’manberg was doomed, Quackity gave up on his fight. Quackity had slowly been forgetting what his original motives and ideals were. Fight tyrants, fight those with too much power, and ensure a better world for everyone. He had moved away from the entire reason he wanted to fight people like Dream in the first place. He cared mostly about growing L’manberg’s strength and power, and nothing else. Even if he became tyrant-like in the process, he didn’t care. He was even willing to execute Ranboo, execute the one who decorated the festival in their own decorations, like somebody else Quackity had been so against.

But this line, the line in Ranboo’s memory book. “Why does one man need so much power?” This line gave Quackity the reminder he needed. He needed to remember what his original ideals were, in order for him to continue the fight. Because that’s what Quackity’s entire character had been so passionate about: fighting those with too much power. And he had lost the true meaning behind this motive somewhere along the way, even if he himself didn’t think so. He cared more about L’manberg’s power. But here, Quackity remembers what he was on the server for from the very beginning. And it’s enough to bring him back.

Back to L’manberg? No, and that’s what’s important. Quackity understands that L’manberg is doomed, but he no longer cares. Because he remembers now what’s important to him: taking down tyrants for justice, taking down Dream because Dream has too much power. That’s why Quackity had such an intense hatred of Dream, Dream was a tyrant with too much power that used his power to constantly meddle in the affairs of everyone else and ruin the server for them. So even though L’manberg was doomed to go, Quackity had gone back to what his original was. Tyrants, more specifically, Dream. He cared about taking down Dream now, with the fighting spirit against tyrants that he had once had. That’s what gave him the spirit and desire to join the fight to protect L’manberg: to stop Dream. And even when L’manberg had been destroyed, he reiterated that taking down Dream was what was truly important. It always had been. In other words, one man does not need so much power.

Quackity’s storytelling and acting is genuinely incredible, and it really shone through in these scenes.

#dream smp #dsmp #quackity #quackityhq #ranboo #dream #tubbo #jschlatt #l'manberg #l'manburg #doomsday #doomsday war #technoblade #/rp

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thran-duils · 4 years

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Am I On the Screen? (P.1)

Title: Am I On the Screen? (Part One) Pairing: Ransom Drysdale x Fem!Reader Summary: Hugh is a prick and the reader gets herself into trouble with him with her attitude. Hugh has the perfect plan to keep her in line though. Words: 2,116 Warnings: S M U T, language, dub-con, blackmail, masturbation, online sex Author’s Notes: If something like this has been done already, welp, I suck.

Part Two || Masterpost (mobile) || Fanfic masterpost

Are you, are you filming me? Am I, am I on the screen? 'Cause it feels like your watching me 'Cause it feels like they’re watching me Am I on the screen?

-- Are You Filming Me? // twst

Marta’s laugh faltered and she cleared her throat, her eyes averting from the doorway quickly. You turned your head to look over your shoulder and saw what had made her stop laughing. Hugh. He sure had a way of sucking the air out of a room, especially with that glower he was pointing in the two of your direction.

“Hugh,” you greeted him civilly, turning the shrimp over in the pan. “Are you hungry?”

“Not for anything that you are making,” Hugh responded rudely, walking past you towards the fridge.

You shot Marta a vexed look and she rose her eyebrows, shaking her head slightly.

“Well, there’s some take out on the second shelf in the fridge that I can assure you I had nothing to do with. I just picked it up for my lunch. If you want, I’ll trade you that for a plate of what I’m making,” you said, unable to help yourself.

Hugh stopped, his hand on the handle of the fridge. Unamused, he stared at you for a few moments before saying, “You should watch your mouth, Y/N.”

“I’ll keep that in mind,” you quipped, turning the stove off, and moving to arrange Harlan’s plate.

You could feel Hugh’s glare burning into your back and you smirked to yourself at having gotten under his skin even just a little bit. The prick deserved to be knocked down a couple pegs.

<><><>

Gym bag slung over your shoulder, you slammed your car door closed and locked it. On the way up to your townhouse door, you unlocked your mailbox and grabbed the papers inside. You were looking forward to your shower, thinking of the sweet relief you would get from the hot water.

Upon opening your front door, you almost stepped onto an envelope that had been slid underneath the door. You closed the door and turned around, placing your bag down along with the other mail on the entrance table. You swooped down and picked up the unmarked envelope, confused why it had not just been slipped into your mailbox.

“What…” you muttered, staring down at the photos.

Bile rose in your throat realizing what it was. They were screenshots of you from your OnlyFans account during one of your live events. And you quickly noticed it was not from just one; there were a handful of them, you in different lingerie, different toys. A note was with the pictures.

I want you to say my name when you’re riding that large, pretty, purple dildo tonight.

Who sent you this and why? There was no name attached to it. And how the hell did they know where you lived? A chill crept down your spine, thinking of all the true crime documentaries that you had binged and all the women who were kidnapped and murdered, their bodies never found.

Unnerved, you tore the photos and the note up, rushing towards the kitchen. You shoved the ruined remains in the trash, shoving them as far down as you could. Stepping back, your eyes were glued to the trashcan, anxiety creeping. What if you had a stalker?

You bit your lip, trying to think of all the ways you could protect yourself if you were approached on the street or god forbid, someone broke into your home.

The clock caught your attention, and you swore, realizing you had been standing there for fifteen minutes worrying and had cut into your shower time. You still needed to get to work. Trying to ignore the nagging anxiety, you rushed to get ready.

<><><>

Throughout the day, your mind had continuously returned to the note and the pictures. You could not go to the police to file a report or anything, they would think you were being over dramatic. Plus, you were not keen on sharing your account and really, no one had done anything illegal. Still, you were frightened.

At the end of the day when dinner was finished and you had breakfast set up for the morning for Marta to get ready for Harlan when she got there in the morning, you stopped at the bathroom on the way out the door to relieve yourself before the drive home. When you opened the door, you jumped seeing Hugh standing there, just waiting, looking very much a predator.

Hugh rested his hand on the doorframe, leaning in and effectively blocking your way out of the bathroom.

“Do you need something?” you asked, your tone short. On top of the anxiety you already had, you did not want to deal with this dickhead. When had he shown up anyway?

His smile did not reach his eyes as his eyes wandered down, unabashedly soaking you in. Your mouth set into a thin line. If he was trying to unnerve you by being a pompous ass, he was going to have to try harder than throwing you a lewd look.

“Did you get my gift?” Hugh asked nonchalantly. Your brow stitched, confused. He leaned in closer, a malicious glint in his eyes. “I’d prefer it if you reverse cowgirl’d it while you’re saying my name.”

Your breath froze in your chest and he knew the moment that it clicked for you, an arrogant smile painted on his lips.

“You… bastard,” you got out, before trying to move past him.

He blocked your way again and you clenched your jaw, fury thrumming underneath your skin at the smug look on his face.

“Does my grandfather not pay you enough? I would imagine he does but maybe you’ve got more expensive tastes than you give off,” Hugh ridiculed you. He rose his brows and whispered, “Or maybe you just like knowing there are people getting off to that perfectly round ass.” You tried to get around him again and he chuckled, blocking your way once more. “Did I hit a nerve, babydoll?”

He gripped your jaw and you tried to jerk away but he clamped down harder, stopping you from doing so. “I’ve been watching you for a while. You put on quite the show. I just can’t seem to bring myself to actually bury myself inside you though. I’ve certainly thought about it… showing up at your place and making you wrap those beautiful lips around my cock. But I beat off to whores, not fuck them. Keeps me clean.”

You slapped his hand away, angry tears stinging at your eyes. “Get. Out. Of. My. Way.”

“Not until you tell me you’re gonna do like I asked.”

Scoffing, you told him as calmly as you could, “I don’t do it for free.”

“Oh, you aren’t,” Hugh assured you. “I already pay to subscribe, remember? But trust me, your job is on the line. What if I showed my grandfather what his cook is doing afterhours? Do you think he would want to keep a slut employed and tied to his name? That is a lot of money on the table and so you aren’t doing it for free. And don’t even think about quitting because I’ll find out where you work. And I have no problem sending the photos there too. So… you’re kind of stuck with me, pumpkin.”

He gripped your chin with his thumb and forefinger, forcing you to nod as he mimicked a higher pitched voice, “’Yes, Hugh, I’ll beg for you’.” In his regular voice, he practically purred, “C’mon, Y/N. Say it nice and clear for daddy.”

You had no choice. You knew he would make good on his threats; he was not one to mess around about people not following his orders.

Strained, you told him, “Yes, I’ll do it.”

He cupped his hand to his ear, “’I’ll do it…’”

You grated, “Daddy.”

“Perfect. You’re a peach,” Hugh told you grinning. He leaned back, dropping his arm. As soon as you saw the exit, you made to rush past him. At the last second, he reached out, grasping your arm and stopping your momentum. “Oh, and by the way… that purple heart plug too. Just to match.”

He gave you one last self-satisfied smirk before letting go of you and you took off, feeling his eyes burn into the back of your head.

<><><>

Legs spread in front of the camera, you tweaked your nipple through your black lace bra. You had put your garter and thigh highs on to match but were panty less. You had already stripped and done some oral play, something the commenters could not seem to ever get enough of.

You uttered his name for the first time, “I want Hugh.”

Your finger running tantalizingly slow down your slit, staring into the camera. You hated how much it sounded like ‘you’, meaning anyone could be hearing it thinking nothing of it. But you knew Hugh was getting off on knowing you were saying his name.

Pressing your fingers in, you spread your lips, showing yourself off to the camera. A new slew of messages popped up, encouraging you to play with your clit.

“I’m sure you wish it was you,” you breathed, well versed on dirty talk during your live feeds. “I’m sure your fingers would be so much better…” You slipped a finger in. “Your fingers instead filling me up. Getting me ready for that big cock of yours.”

You were good and wet now, comments coming in lusting after the glisten on your lips. Remembering what he asked, your fingers left your sex and you got up, moving the camera to the ground and angled upwards. Grabbing the dildo, you wet the bottom of it, suctioning it to the hardwood floor. For good measure, you added a healthy amount of lube to the dildo, making sure the camera could see your hand massaging it, a sly smirk on your face.

None of this would be out of the ordinary if it was not for the fact you knew Hugh was watching. You could not get the image of him sitting behind his screen, his hand stroking himself watching you abide to his whims.

Spreading your cheeks, you showed off the plug and heard the chime of new messages being sent. You could not help but smile, knowing that was a treat for the viewers. The head of the dildo entered you and you moaned softly. You started slow, adjusting to the girth, moving inch by inch down the length. Gradually, you increased the depth and speed, encouraging whoever was watching to think about their own dicks fucking you like this.

“I want Hugh to fuck me,” you gasped, riding the dildo quickly, your fingers stroking your clit. You were getting close and you leaned completely into it, your mind a haze. “I want Hugh to fuck me so bad. Hugh can cum inside me, fill me up. I’ll take every inch, daddy. Please fuck me. I’m your dirty girl.” Your hand was moving erratically and a few more strokes sent you tumbling over the edge. You gasped, seeing stars, clenching around the dildo.

You sat there for a couple moments, relishing in your high.

As your mind cleared, your cheeks burned thinking about all the things you had said lost to your passion. The thought of Hugh’s hand covered in his cum, head thrown back at your complete submission to his request flashed through your mind. Thankfully, your face was away from the camera and you swallowed, trying to calm yourself down. And also thankfully, your red face could be attributed to that mind blowing orgasm you just gave yourself.

The dildo was wet when you came up off of it and you picked up the camera, taking it with you to sit it back down in front of your station.

Your eyes met the camera again and you gave it a sensual smile, your eyes flicking to all the new comments, positive encouragement ringing throughout them. Your hand slipped down to your cunt and you brought your fingers up to your lips, sucking on them gently.

“I think I’m gonna take a shower. I’ll think about your hands washing me down,” you told the camera before blowing it a kiss. “Good night.”

As soon as the camera was off, your hands shook as you brought them back to your lap.

That had been a great orgasm. And you hated it.

Your phone buzzed and you whipped your head around to look at it over on your bed. Standing up, you picked it up, staring down at the text. You did not have the number saved but you knew damn well who it was and how he had gotten it in the first place.

I’m gonna break my rule. Don’t shower. Keep that pussy glistening for me.

~~~

Tags: @coconutqueen21

#ransom drysdale x reader #hugh drysdale x reader #ransom drysdale fic #my shit

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elpercotreviews · 3 years

Text

My Anime 9/10′s

With probably no spoilers cuz I don’t wanna talk too long about them zzz.

1. Fullmetal Alchemist

YALL ALREADY KNOW THIS A 9/10. The only real reason this show is not a 10/10 is because it’s just a story that I’d never rewatch. There’s like 70 episodes, which is way too long for my short attention span, especially since I’ve seen it already. But yeah, by all accounts, this story is a masterpiece and is one of the only “shounen” anime’s that I genuinely enjoyed. No random sexualization. No dumb filler. All the characters have an actual purpose and role in the plot and everyone has their own morals and ideals that interact to make the story interesting. I couldn’t bring myself to really hate anyone, even the villains, because everyone was pretty well written. Also super satisfying ending that ties up everything properly without leaving me confused or upset. If you only watch a few anime in your life, Fullmetal Alchemist is pretty much a MUST WATCH to see a beautiful example of a modern classic anime as an artform. Also I should say that I really don’t like Hunter x Hunter (AN EXTREMELY CONTROVERSIAL OPINION BTW) but I love Fullmetal Alchemist so take from that what you will.

2. Parasyte: The Maxim

Same kinda shit where you already know this a 9/10 for me. It’s just a very satisfying anime that doesn’t have random sexualization or random filler or anything like that. Ending is also very good and ties up the story in a way that doesn’t leave more questions but also allows the characters to have a “life” outside of the scope of the story. I think Parasyte, because of its more horror and psychological-esque vibes, counts as a seinen and not a shounen, so for more mature audiences. I also really liked how the story was successfully adapted to modern times since the manga is from the 80′s. I have actually rewatched this anime, but what stops me from giving it a 10/10 is a few things that I found kinda “stereotypical” that I don’t wanna discuss further too much cuz it’s spoilers. I still obviously really like this anime and highly recommend it.

3. Zankyou no Terror

TBH, this anime is pretty hard for me to properly describe in a lot of words as to why I like it. The art was really pretty as well as the music, which was just straight up amazing. The cinematography of this anime is excellent as well, and a lot of scenes have that sense of being acted out by real people, as opposed to feeling completely drawn/animated. I was a teenager when this anime came out and I think a lot of the themes presented in the show really related to me. The show does kinda have some leftover questions when it ends that prevents me from rating it a 10/10, but I have such a soft spot for this anime. It’s from the same creator as Samurai Champloo and Cowboy Bebop, and although those two animes are also very good, they did not impact me as much as this anime did. Recommended for people looking for idk something that gives off Inception vibes?? In the sense that it’s much more about its themes and its message more so than the believability of the events that occur.

4. Magic Kaito 1412

THIS IS JUST A PERSONAL PREFERENCE BTW LOLOL I DON’T KNOW ANYBODY WHO’D PUT THIS AS A 9/10 ANIME. I JUST REALLY LIKED IT OKAY. It’s made by the same person who does Detective Conan but I like this a lot more because it’s a much shorter series and slightly more mature (more for teens than just straight up kids). I really liked the main guy, I think he’s funny and charismatic. He’s a pervert at times but Imma forgive that cuz of the 90′s. Idk it’s just a really fun anime that I don’t have to take seriously and can just watch and enjoy.

5. Mob Psycho 100 (season 1 AND 2)

Imma put season two as slightly better than season one. So season one would be like a 9 and season two is like a 9.25 for me. Super super funny anime and I like it SO much more than One Punch Man. I liked that there was a good balance of serious moments, but you can definitely still count this anime as a comedy. I’m typically not the type to watch “comedy” but this anime genuinely had me laughing out loud, while also crying and freaking out right alongside the main character. The main guy is super great because he’s just this shy and sweet middle schooler, and it’s really interesting watching him balance trynna have a normal life while also using his powers for good and such. Apparently the anime was decently faithful to the manga and there’s apparently enough material for a third season so I’d be pretty stoked for a season 3, but season 2 ended on a pretty good spot and was satisfying. TBH, if I had the time, I’d probably rewatch both seasons and bump it up to a 10/10.

6. Vinland Saga

This anime is just the first season of what I hopes to be a whole series that will be stay beautifully and faithfully adapted from the manga. As someone who read very far into the manga (but quit like years ago simply because I hate slow updates lol), I actually didn’t enjoy watching the anime at first. I was impatient and kept waiting for when like the “major” events would happen. So I watched like three episodes and quit. But when I had some free time, I decided to get stuck in and commit to watching the whole series and I was so pleasantly surprised with just how good it was. I was impatient but I needed to realize that there is no “filler” or like “wasted time” in the entire anime. I hadn’t read the manga in years, so so many things were only vaguely familiar but I think this helped me stay surprised and excited throughout the anime. I’m looking forward to the rest of the manga being adapted because it’s just a good Viking saga lolol. Major themes of stuff like growing up, violence vs. peace, what it means to be a good person, etc. Lots of blood and LOTS of violence like a LOT they are VIKINGS CMON but tbh not really any gore which I liked cuz gore makes me ughhhh. A very good watch and only a taste of an excellent story.

7. Demon Slayer

It’s just Demon Slayer duhhh. Of course this a 9/10 for me. I don’t wanna write much just cuz the show is so popular. Just read a REAL review of this anime somewhere else lmaoooo. Also yes I did watch the movie in theaters and yes I liked it a lot as well mmkay. I’m mad hype for season two. My S/O doesn’t like Demon Slayer as much as me, but also has Hunter x Hunter as their all time favorite anime. Do with that information what you will lolol.

8. Attack on Titan Season 3 Part 2

Same shit as Demon Slayer. Just go read someone else’s review about why it’s so good lol. Also, unlike Mob Psycho 100, I can’t include all of the seasons in this, because I have very various opinions about how good/bad the other seasons were. But this season 3 part 2, was just plain and simply amazing. While I might not like each season equally, as a whole Attack on Titan is also a modern masterpiece of storytelling. Read the manga if you can.

9. Great Pretender

I love this anime so much. Such a good and fun wild ride. The whole show is ridiculous but in a fun way. I’m a HUGE fan of heist films, so of course I absolutely enjoyed a heist anime. I’ve watched this show in sub AND dub, due to the fact that everyone is “technically” speaking English the entire time. If you’re a purist, just watch in sub OR dub cuz I did get confused here and there, especially when I would go back to compare language discrepancies. Because basically I did this super high maintenance thing where I switched back to Japanese whenever the main character had flashbacks, since he’s ya know, Japanese. The dub also has this confusing thing where the first five minutes or so are still in Japanese, but switches to English when a little cue card on the screen goes “For the Viewers sake, everything from now on will be translated to Japanese.” It’s cuz in the sub, the inverse obviously happens where the characters are initially speaking broken English to each other, but for convenience sake, everything from that point on will be in Japanese. It’s confusing at first but I liked it cuz it just proved the whole international vibe of the show. It’s funny either sub or dub when they joke about how bad the main guy speaks English, cuz in the dub he’s speaking perfect English, while the sub has him not speaking English at all. But anyway, great anime that WOULD have gotten a 10/10 if not for the last episode. Like without spoiling ... WTF WAS THAT LMAOOOO. The anime as a whole is super wacky and zany but at least I could try to think it’s real life, but that last episode was just so unbelievable and bizarre and pulled my suspension of disbelief into the STRATOSPHERE that I just had to convince myself that this show takes place in some improbable alternate reality where something like what happened in the last episode is at least 5 percent possible CUZ HOW DID ANY OF THAT WORK LMAOOO??? Once again, great show, one of my absolute favorites, BUT THAT ENDING THOUGH WTF.

10. BNA

Good super underrated anime that I don’t hear people talk about at all. If Beastars is anime Zootopia, then BNA is Disney Beastars lmaooo does that make sense? It’s a lot more fun and zany than Beastars and I liked it way more. Made by the same people who made Kill la Kill. I really like that more classic, animated “cheap” art style that the anime has, and I also really liked the plot of the story. Not a 10/10 cuz the show does leave a few unanswered questions at the end of it, but this show was such a fun and interesting ride. When I finished the last episode, I was left with a big smile on my face because I just genuinely enjoyed this anime. Recommended if you wanna watch something a little unique and more on the silly and wack side. Talks about some serious stuff, but luckily the show never takes itself TOO seriously, and remains overall lighthearted for a fun action/sci-fi show.

#bna #attack on titan #parasyte #anime review #myanimelist #great pretender #demon slayer #vinland saga #mob psycho 100 #anime #fullmetal alchemist #terror in resonance #magic kaito

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mst3kproject · 3 years

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The Giant of Marathon

For some reason, probably because I've seen them all so many times, I thought I'd already done all four Film Crew episodes. Evidently this is not true. Here's one, and if you haven't seen it... wow, Mr. Honcho was not exaggerating about the thousands of sweaty men.

Philippides of Athens is the greatest athlete there is, having won the entire Olympics. With the games over, he returns to his day job as commander of the Athenian city guard. Followers of Hippias the exiled tyrant are plotting to take control of the city with help from the invading Persians, and they try to seduce Philippides to their cause by offering him wine, women, and homoerotic wrestling (it was ancient Greece, after all). Philippides refuses to be seduced, and sets off to secure the help of Athens' old enemy Sparta in opposing the Persians. His mission is a success, but upon his return a spy tells him that the Persians are planning a sneak attack on the harbour of Piraeus. Can even Philippides get there in time to deliver the warning?

I don't actually know if it were possible to win the entire Olympics in ancient Greece. I know there were several events and at least one of them involved reciting poetry. The Battle of Marathon was in 490 BC and a table on Wikipedia suggests that there could have been up to twelve different sports, but some of them were only for children.

The Giant of Marathon touts itself as a tale of epic battles, daring deeds, and political machinations. I'll get back to the epic battles and daring deeds, but what stands in for the political machinations is mostly a bunch of people pining. Unimpressive villain Theocritus is pining for the beautiful Andromeda, whose father has promised her to him but she thinks he's a dick. She's pining for Philippides, who is also pining for her but thinks she's one of Hippias' followers, so refuses to speak to her. Meanwhile Theocritus' concubine Charis is also pining for Philippides because he's the only man who ever refused to fuck her, I think.

These relationships are important to the plot, too. Andromeda's love for Philippides is one of the reasons her father refuses to join the traitors, and when Theocritus realizes he cannot have her, he ties her to the prow of his ship to force Philippides to watch her die. Charis' crush on Philippides leads her to her death, as she is executed for spying. Yet none of it is ever developed beyond 'these two pretty people saw each other and now they want to bone'. Philippides declares his love for Andromeda after a single five-minute interaction. Charis has seen Philippides twice, and both times it went badly, when she decides to betray Theocritus.

Why do the writers hang such important plot points on the 'love' between people who have barely spoken to each other? I can't decide if it's because they're lazy, or because they're hacks, and I lean towards a combination of the two. There is absolutely no subtlety to the writing in The Giant of Marathon at all. Everything is told, not shown. We know that Theocritus and Creusus are traitors because they talk about it, in dialogue that's clearly written for the audience, not as anything that sounds like a natural conversation. We know that Charis and Andromeda are both in love with Philippides because they say so. The only thing we're really shown is that Andromeda hates Theocritus, which comes through in her body language (though we are also very much told), so props to actress Mylène Demongeot for that much.

The movie doesn't care about any of this character stuff, anyway. It just wants to get straight to those epic battle scenes, and it's very obvious how much work and time went into those as opposed to everything else. The battles are lengthy and elaborate, full of impressive stunts and props and miniatures being destroyed all over the place. We get to see Persian chariots run down Greek infantry, and while I'm pretty sure this would have been orchestrated so the stuntmen didn't get hurt, I'm not nearly so confident about the unfortunate horses (and neither was Bill). There are ships in flames and injured men screaming as they fall overboard. There are even some pretty good deaths, like the guy who was hit in the eye with an arrow. The desperate last stand of the city guard against the entire Persian fleet, with the Spartans arriving just in time to save the day, is very tense indeed.

I get the impression that this is what somebody really wanted to put on screen, and they did a decent job of it, but pretty much the entire rest of what ought to be the story is just an accessory to the fighting stuff. It's as if the film-makers wanted so badly for their fight sequences to be epic that they forgot what makes epic-ness – which is the characters and their stake in the events. We don't know any of these people, none of them have anything we might call a personality trait, and so we don't care.

The focus on how epic it all is makes I seem a little strange that the battle ends on a shot of dead Persian guys floating in the water. You'd think they'd want to end with something that more decisively shows the Athenian victory, maybe the men cheering as the Persian ships turn around and flee. Or perhaps some kind of victory celebration, which could mirror the celebration of Philippides winning the Olympics in the opening and call back to the scene where Philippides asks the goddess Athena to protect her city.

Instead, we cut to a shot of Philippides and Andromeda walking across the farmland together. This feels a little too sudden, and is also a poor fit with the rest of the movie. The only time we've seen Philippides on his farm is when he's gotten disgusted with the politics of Athens and returned to the countryside to sulk. If the farm is supposed to be a place where he's happy and at peace, the movie never establishes it.

So that's political machinations and epic battle sequences, let's talk about some daring deeds.

Unlike the Hercules and Maciste movies we've seen in the past, The Giant of Marathon wants to be grounded in real-life history. This means that while the script does reference gods and mythical heroes, none of them ever appear and there is no hint of them working behind the scenes to bring events about. Likewise, Philippides is not a demigod, so we avoid several of the tropes associated with the genre. Nothing important ever happens (or fails to happen) because the hero was asleep, and he never bends prison bars or drinks a love potion – although a love potion is mentioned, as if to draw attention to this.

This doesn't leave Philippides a whole lot of scope for daring deeds, and when they try the results are a little lackluster. His main feat is, of course, running all the way from Marathon to Athens (the proverbial forty-two kilometres) to let them know of the impending attack, but while this ought to be the highlight of the movie it's shot in terrible day-for-night and we have nothing to suggest how far this is... I think the writers just assumed everybody knows the length of a marathon. If we'd seen the army tired from making the march earlier, we would have a better sense of it being a long and tiring journey even at a walk or with horses, and it would seem that much more formidable as a distance for one man to cover before sunrise. Of course, showing us these things is apparently beyond the scope of The Giant of Marathon's writers, but you'd think they could at least have a character say something like, “it's twenty-six miles! He'll never make it!”

His other major daring deed is when he pushes giant boulders down a hill onto the attacking Persians. This is kind of weird because Philippides is not Hercules or Maciste. He's good at track and field, but we haven't seen any evidence of him having godlike strength, and this is a universe where gods don't seem to do much anyway, so it comes out of nowhere. The rocks are huge – there are similarly-sized ones at the park near my house and I know one guy couldn't move them no matter how buff he might be. Did somebody just forget that they weren't making a Hercules movie?

Between the battles and the various plot twists, The Giant of Marathon could have been a pretty fun sword-and-sandal movie, but it's like a tower without a foundation. The fights have nothing to hold them up, so we just can't get into it. Also, what the Underworld happened to Hippias? We see him once, chatting with the king of Persia, and then he vanishes and the movie decides weaselly little Theocritus is the big bad instead. I'm sorry, but if you've got a character with a name as cool as 'Hippias the Tyrant', you really can't just drop him like that.

The Best Brains liked to complain about the tinyness of the costumes in these movies but honestly, nothing here is as off-putting as actual ancient Greek sports would have been to the modern viewer. When I was in university I TA'd for a course called Introduction to Greco-Roman Civilization. It was an adventure in several ways – the students were mostly dumb freshmen who spent the lectures playing Farmville, and the professor didn't give a shit because she'd just been denied tenure. I don't know how much anybody learned in that class, but I'm sure they all recall how, after the professor told us that Greek athletes stripped naked and covered themselves in olive oil before wrestling, somebody raised a hand and asked if they removed their body hair. The professor cheerfully told him that they did not, so next time we see a Greek vase we ought to remember that these guys were much sweatier, oilier, and hairier than terra cotta can possibly convey.

#mst3k #reviews #episodes that never were #the battle of marathon #the film crew #50s #my cheese steak

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furblrwurblr · 4 years

Text

Patience, love!

Hey hey hey! Guess who made another Douxie x reader soulmate fic? m e

Douxie x Reader Soulmate AU, fluff, angst. crack if you squint.

Warnings: Swearing, I was far more casual this time, more misunderstandings aha, angst if you squint but it's not that hidden

The song in question: here, viewer discretion advised. It's emo boy by Ayesha Erotica, and this fic doesn't make a whole lot of sense without it? It can but you'll have to wait for a vague clarification.

Please enjoy our boy feat. Zoe!

Part 2

For as long as you’ve lived, your soulmate’s thoughts about you wrote themselves on your body, just as they had for nearly a millennium. You could tell you’d missed yours a few times. Back in Italy, you’d often stumble out of an alley after a riveting fight with a litter of canal criblets and their mother (why did the only aggressive species of hippocampi have their kids in the canals?) with quiet compliments and passing thoughts along your limbs.

“Another wizard? I wonder where they studied,” or “That was quite a spell, great technique! Wait! Watch out for the-” (that time you’d been a teeny bit distracted by the compliment and whirled around just in time to meet a screaming criblet doing its damndest to bite your face off with its nasty little teeth and bruise you with its impish little hooves. The fuckers were sharp.) The critter left you in a blinding blast of blue. Someone dressed in near all-black ran past you, but by the time your eyes cleared, the blue light was blasting away across the canal and a couple of violent hippocampi babies prevented you from following. Since, you always kept an eye out for that telltale blue light.

༓・༓・༓・༓・༓・༓・༓・༓

Over time, soulmate laws abated, seen as inhumane towards those unfortunate enough to not have one and those who simply didn’t want one. The law changes allowed you to date around a bit, but, with each partner, you felt more and more guilty as you learned about your true soulmate. By now, you’d discovered he’s a he, he’s a wizard, and he’s a hopeless romantic. Often he’d daydream about all kinds of cheesy dates and tropes he hoped to do with you. Most painfully, he thought about how excited he was to experience everything with you for the first time. Of course, you two had already had mental conversations about it and though he always accepted it, you could tell he was a bit disappointed. You didn’t have many firsts left and said you’d save those at least, but he, sweetheart he was, said he’d just give you more firsts. First scuba dive. First romantic boat date, but in the clouds. First couple’s bake at 3 AM in your shared flat.

You stopped dating after that.

༓・༓・༓・༓・༓・༓・༓・༓

Now, it was the start of the 21st century and you were impatient. You’d traveled everywhere, sign of that beautiful blue, and no help from your cheeky soulmate. Every time you asked if he was in a new country, he’d tell you: “That’s for me to know, and you to find out.” It made you tear your hair out, never settling down anywhere. After a while, he seemed to notice you were moving slower, motivation no longer able to breeze you through three large villages in a month. He started being super obnoxious about how much he “looooved America, Merlin’s beard, Land of the Free! Free! Dobby is free! What a wondrous place!” After a sharp word and a warm, giddy feeling from him, you were on a plane to The ‘States. What a way to start your 2000’s, huh?

Sixteen years. It had taken you sixteen years to comb the country, starting from New York and finally reaching California. You could feel your hope dwindle, but you had one last straw to go on: Benoit’s. He’d wanted to take you there a couple times within the past couple years so it must be in his area. Problem is, the entire west coast was covered in them, every city, small and large, having at least one. You’d ruled out the other states after years of searching, only California was left. With a bittersweet, determined huff, you boarded the plane.

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You gave up. Where the fuck was this guy? For the first time in your life, you decided to settle. You’d looked in every nook and cranny California had to offer and didn’t find him. No magic, no man, no nothing. Seeing as you couldn’t seem to find shit, you turned to your magic. You could cast a few defensive and offensive spells, but your speciality was tracking. Ironic, isn’t it? You’d tried searching for him that way, but his aura was too warded and its memory too faded from your memory to work. However, now you were doing it for yourself. You bought a map and worked your magic, seeking stone swinging in perfect circles and settling around a small town called Arcadia. Funny, you hadn’t been there yet. What if- no. “He’s gone”, you reminded yourself. You found a flat in the area and set off.

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Douxie felt it the moment you gave up. He didn’t know exactly what you’d given up on, but he did know he hadn’t seen any more locations pop up in a couple weeks. For some ungodly known reason, he didn’t realize that all your questions of his whereabouts weren't just a passing curiosity. He was waiting for fate to bring you two together, not considering his soulmate might be so impatient and eager to meet him that they’d travel the ends of the earth.

He’d been washing dishes at Benoit’s when his coworker pointed out the little black letters on the back of his shoulder. “He’s gone.” He went back to work with a heavy heart. “So much for waiting for fate,” he thought.

You’d just moved the last box into your new flat when you saw it. So much for fate? You spent the rest of the day in bed, tears christening your rented mattress. “I guess he gave up too.”

You couldn’t live off your savings forever, you only had so much gold left from the Golden Age of Piracy to sell to museums. Within a week, you’d secured jobs at the local Speedway and HexTech. You convinced yourself you were okay, that this was better for you. You bonded with your coworkers at HexTech, but there was one you were having difficulties with. Normally this wouldn’t be an issue, but you really admired her. Her name was Zoe, and you couldn’t get enough of her.

One day, you worked up the nerve to strike up a conversation during your shared counter shift. She liked you when you got to talking, and said she’d help you finish unpacking your flat as soon as you told her why you didn’t generally act so free as you did in the past hour of conversation. You agreed to tell her while she helped you.

The two of you made a day of it. She brought snacks and a housewarming movie for you both to watch when you finished, and you made a smorgasbord for lunch paired with a good wine you’d been saving since the 1800’s. No time like the present, eh?

You plopped onto the stained couch that came with the place. Heaving a great, satisfied sigh, you looked over your flat with a smile. Settling felt good, like you had a place you belonged.

“It looks fantastic, Zoe, thank you for the help.”

“I’m good, aren’t I,” she said with a confident smile, sitting next to you on the couch. A few moments pass in silence. Her tone shifted. “Spill,” she demanded.

You sigh and recounted all that’s happened with your soulmate. Your passing in Italy. Your shame. His enthusiasm. The shift that seemed to occur all at once, both of you switching gears at the same time.

She looked at you sympathetically, knowing full well how it felt when things went wrong with a soulmate. Sucking in a breath, she hesitated. You could tell she was trying to find the right words. You almost told her it was alright that she didn’t have to-

“He sounds like a dumbass,” she blurted.

You shared a laugh, agreeing.

“I really do like him,” you sighed. “Some part of me still has something there, you know? This is one of the few places I haven’t looked, there’s a Benoit’s here, but I’m… I’m petrified.”

Zoe looked you over. “Give me your phone.” She held out her hand and cut off any protests. After some fiddling, she handed it back and you found 5 alarms and 2 calendar events, all with very obnoxious titles. “You. Me. Benoit’s. You’re not getting out of it, I’ll bring a grit-shaka if I have to.

You groaned and moaned about it as she put in the movie, the self-satisfied smirk never leaving her face. You quieted down as the movie started, realizing there was no way around it. You were secretly thankful for such aggressive support, but opted to shake all thoughts of soulmates from your mind as you shared this moment with your new friend.

༓・༓・༓・༓・༓・༓・༓・༓

Today was the day. You’d gotten into something comfortable to try and calm your nerves, but it wasn’t doing much. After fixing your hair for the third time, you jumped at a knock on the door. Zoe came in, grabbed your purse, and pulled you out of the building by the wrist. You started walking, the cafe only two blocks away. By the first block your hands were shaking. Zoe pulled you behind Stuart’s electronics and held up a grit-shaka.

“Mother Midril, you were serious?”

“Deadly,” she said, looping it around your neck.

Your shaking calmed instantly, your magic preventing it from getting too out-of-hand. Troll magics were tricky.

You two walked in and sat at a booth, ordering your respective coffees and breakfast items from a nice young man, he couldn’t have been older than sixteen. After a bit of a wait, the voice of Adonis himself asked you both how you were doing, handing you your coffees. He spoke with Zoe a bit and introduced himself to you as Douxie. You confidently responded in kind, but your mind could only think of one thing.

You struggled to keep your composure, even with the grit-shaka. Yes, the thing calmed your nerves, but damn did it bring back some old habits. You saw Zoe’s eyes widen at Douxie’s arm but paid it little mind. He was hot. Long hair, tight jeans… you barely responded coherently as Emo Boy by Ayesha Erotica blasted through your brain. Yes, it was embarrassing, yes, you wanted your soulmate more than anything, but gods above he was your type and you’d be damned to not appreciate it.

As soon as he left, you brought your hand behind your neck and removed the blasted thing, looking at Zoe in shock. Her expression mirrored yours but for a very different reason. Douxie was the dumbass. And you’d just technically praised his dick, insulted him, and asked him to fuck you over 10 times, and it was all written up his arms and probably around his torso. She broke out into a cackle, tears mildly smudging her mascara. You were utterly confused and looked at his retreating figure over your shoulder, noticing a thought coming up the arm you’d slung over the booth chair.

“I’m flattered, I think? You must be the little minx at table three. I knew you weren’t one for waiting, but at least buy me dinner first! I’ll be right out, just let me grab my sweater to cover this a little bit. Think of the children!”

You stopped breathing altogether. Tightening your lips, you let out a muffled scream and pulled Zoe from her seat across you. Your elbow knocked over your coffee and you nearly did the right thing of helping, but you didn’t have time. All these 800 years, all your hope and searching, and you make the worst possible first impression. Sure, it wasn’t good already, but now he had a face to put to the shame. You stumble out the door, Zoe’s laughter still following you out of the now-silent diner.

Douxies pale cheeks were blazing with color as he pulled on his sweater in the break room. Going over, ahem, such blunt words, no matter the context, wasn't good for his health. His shirt raised and he saw the hurried words appear near his hip, chuckling as he started to read. He’d seen the grit-shaka; they must have taken it off.

“Shit, it’s you? I knew going was a bad idea, I’m so sorry, I’ve probably made you so uncomfortable, I’ll be going now.”

Wait… going? Douxie slammed the door open, hearing the wall plaster crunch inside. Table three was empty and covered in coffee, your purse was still there, and the diner was completely silent. Your coat swished out the door and he tripped over himself, stumbling between tables to get to the door. He ran out into the empty street, looking for something, anything. His boss called him back in to help, and he sulked into the diner. Bending down to pick up the cup so he could mop up the mess, he lit up. Your purse. It sat on the seat, the various charms and keychains glistening with the glow of one of Mordrax’s miracles.

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You and Zoe made it back to your flat, out of breath. Zoe was still giggling as she reactivated the wards on the door. You plopped on the couch again, this time in shock. Zoe shook you out of it, eyes sincere.

“You have to go back.”

“I one hundred percent do not, there’s absolutely nothing holding me to that.”

“There’s me, dipshit, and there's something else. You’re too empathetic to put him through any more.”

You looked at her, surprised. “What do you mean?” you asked, voice small.

She explained how much it hurt him that you’d dated others even though he knew it was entirely your decision. How much of a hole it made in his heart when you gave up. How he dropped his regular temperament for a sullen, depressed shell of the man he was, going through the motions and not much more.

“I understand if you want to wait a while, but-”

“But I have to go back,” you said, drawing your knees to your chest. She scooted closer to you, wiped your gathering tears, and planted a light kiss on your forehead. She snorted when you brought your hand to the spot she’d just kissed, checking for residue from her jet black lipstick.

She gently swiped a thumb across her lip and bopped your nose. “No-transfer. I buy the good shit,” she said with a smile.

She put on a calm movie and wrapped you in a blanket, telling you how proud she was at your bravery and discussing plans for returning to Benoit’s.

༓・༓・༓・༓・༓・༓・༓・༓

Three weeks later, Douxie had called you a few times. You'd left your phone at home in Zoe’s insistence and left your purse at the scene of the crime. Now, you were ready to sort out more than your missing belongings. You walked out of your flat prepared to have another go. Sort of. You had a decorative facemask on, a large dark sweatshirt (to deter being perceived in any way), and no intention to actually speak to him. You just wanted him to know you were there and not completely rejecting him. Zoe had spoken to him, so he knew you’d be there during his shift and how nervous you were. You were grateful for her, she’d told him the gist of what you couldn’t say yourself, but some things she’d said were best heard from you.

You sat down, fingers twitching. God, did you want to pick at something. You settled for scratching at the table, not feeling like making a mess of lint in the same booth you’d drenched in coffee not three weeks prior.

Douxie came with your drink, already having memorized what you ordered last time. Your purse was strapped across his body, laying at his hip. He gently placed it on the table and pushed your coffee towards you after carefully slipping something under it out of your field of view. You went to check and he covered it with a chuckle.

“You really aren’t very patient, are you?”

You covered your face and laughed. Taking a deep breath, you pulled the mask under your chin and placed your hands in his. “No, I’m not. Which is why I won’t wait any longer. I’m sorry. I was so caught up in myself I never thought to properly communicate with you. I hurt us both unnecessarily, can you forgive me?”

His eyes softened, lips lifting into a gentle smile. “Of course, love. I’ve waited for you for so long, and I had my part in this misunderstanding, so of course I can. I’m still on shift, but- ah, just check under the cup, would you?” He lifted one of your hands to his lips, gently brushing over your knuckles. “I’ll see you soon, darling,” he said, getting up and back behind the counter.

You took a slow sip of your now-cooled coffee and nearly spit it out at what he’d placed under it. Two tickets to Warped Tour laughed at you from the tabletop. You eyed them warily as you picked up the accompanying note.

“Hey, love! I hope you haven’t been to Warped Tour, it can be our first first! Apologies for the strange wording. I’ll see you at 7:00 on XX/XX/20XX outside your flat, I’m taking you to dinner before we go. Plus, we can get that romantic boat ride in the clouds I promised so long ago out of the way too! I can’t wait. You must be rubbing off on me. I’ll be seeing you, love. -Hisirdoux”

Next to it was a paw print. Did he have a cat? Either way, he was an absolute cheek. You drank your coffee in silence, a new calendar event to look forward to.

#hisirdoux casperan #toa #douxie #furblewrites #douxie x reader #hisirdoux x reader #toa x reader #hisirdoux casperan x reader #hisirdoux #toa douxie #toa zoe

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