#at some point i will try to fix this
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popping in to say HIIIIII
#its been 50000000 years#i also think loads of my cc is now broken from the past gazillion updates#at some point i will try to fix this#at some point i will also open my fckn GAYMEEEE#it has not been touched for what feels like Years#but i do not want to update all my mods............#mod-lite era mayhaps?
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last three seasons spn are crazy. its just dean being borderline suicidal while sam tries to fix it by basically dangling his keys at him and going : “dean look! cowboys!” “dean look! strip club!” “dean look! haunted action figure.”
Meanwhile castiel is like i see that dean is suicidal, this is clearly my fault so i will remedy this by dying.
#and then dean is fixed by jack getting him a yogurt from the fridge or some shit#dean: yeah i just dont believe theres any point living any more. sam: huh dean are you ok? that sure was a funny thing to say#dean: yeah i just dont believe theres a point to life anymore. cas: don’t worry dean. i’ll always be here. *dies*#dean:yeah i just don’t believe theres a point to living anymore. jack: bummer. want to play mario kart?#dean: sure kid why not#destiel#dean winchester#spn#sam winchester#supernatural#but seriously#i feel like we dont talk about how dean was trying to die at the slightest inconvenience in the later seasons and its like??? bestie???
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mentally I'm still here:
Nico insisting that neither of them are going to be sacrificed/left behind to satisfy the prophecy is a perfect encapsulation of his growth over the series and it makes me SO soft to think about
Nico as a character - particularly in BoO - doesn't have a lot of self-preservation. He doesn't really care what happens to him as long as the mission gets done. We see this most explicitly after he almost fades into nothingness after the Bryce Lawrence incident:
And again when he considers shadow travelling into Octavian's tent to assassinate him:
(Nico himself notes here that it was unlikely he would survive another jump. If Will hadn't stopped him, he probably would have died.)
In both cases, Nico was willing to risk death for the sake of ending the war. He puts very little value on his own life, and repeatedly argues to Reyna, Hedge, and Will that the possibility of saving camp (a place he never felt welcome at, might I add) is worth the risk of losing his life.
Even before Nico went on the quest with Reyna and Hedge, the others were concerned about his safety. Percy tried to remind him how unpredictable his shadow travelling could be, and Hazel notes that he has been acting strangely lately:
It's not quite clear what Hazel is worried about here, but my interpretation of this scene is that she's concerned that Nico isn't thinking - or perhaps, isn't caring - about what effect the constant shadow travelling will have on his wellbeing. Between Tartarus, the jar, and the Cupid incident, Nico's mental state is at its worst at this point in the series, and I think Hazel is worried he'll do something reckless - something he can't come back from.
And so in TSATS, when Nico is told that he's going to have to leave something of equal value behind in order to save Bob, the old him would have had zero issue sacrificing himself if that's what it took to ensure Will and Bob's survival. This version of Nico, who's been going to therapy w/ Mr D and opening up more and built a little support system for himself, can't fathom it.
Nico in BoO did not have a future. He had fully convinced himself that nobody cared about him or would miss him if he was gone - not Percy who fought for him at every turn in PJO, not his sister Hazel, not his new friends Jason and Reyna. He was ready to leave both camps behind because he couldn't see himself ever being happy there. He couldn't see himself being happy at all.
But now, in TSATS, he has a boyfriend that he loves, he has friends that he loves, and he has a community in Camp Half-Blood. He has experienced so much loss that losing someone else is his worst fear. The old Nico would have considered sacrificing himself to protect Will and Bob. At the very least, he would have kept that option in his back pocket as a 'just in case'; he wouldn't have sworn on the Styx that he wouldn't stay behind.
This Nico, however, is doing much better - not perfect, but better. He loves Will, and he wants a life with him, and he's not willing to give that up for anything. Nico has hope for the future, and he's clinging to that hope with everything he has. He sees a light at the end of the tunnel, and he wants to reach it. He's not willing to sacrifice himself because it means losing that future.
Gone is the cynical pessimistic Nico who assumes the worst because the worst is all he thinks he can have. Here is the Nico who has had a taste of happiness and is willing to fight to keep it. He's not going to sacrifice himself because he wants to live. He's not just fighting for Will here; he's fighting for himself too.
And seeing him go from "if it kills me, it kills me" to "it's not going to be me" makes me so ASDFGHJKL
#nico di angelo#solangelo#tsats#meta#mine#some points of clarification I want to make here in the tags:#1) I don't think that Nico /wanted/ to die necessarily; only that he didn't care if he lived or died#2) I'm not arguing that getting a boyfriend 'fixed' nico#I don't think he ever would have been open to trying something with Will if he hadn't befriended Jason and Reyna first#ALSO i would argue that Nico's story from as early as BOTL has been about recovering and getting better and moving forward#he has been on this journey loooong before Will had ever entered the picture#his relationship with Will is not the reason he got better; it's the result of Nico choosing to get better on his own accord#because the pre-statue quest Nico would have never allowed himself to get close to another person
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Late Night Reading 🌌✨
Cringe 2010s Galaxy Print Version 😄
#forgot jim's reading glassesnooooo#fixed it - now they're right where they belong 👏#guuyyys a background!!!!! can u believe this????#All their nicknacks and thingies put together#that's required reading at the academy nowadays spock - you should try. jim at one point about “logic of love” probably :D#my partner just watched “dickinson” and sent me some of the popular poems and letter excerpts - very besutiful - jim would read that 💯#star trek tos#leonard mccoy#spock#star trek fanart#spones#spock/mccoy#idiots in love#james t kirk#mckirk#mcspirk#spirk#spock/kirk#kirk/mccoy#kirk/spock#spock/bones#kirk/bones#tos fanart#digital art#artists on tumblr#s'chn t'gai spock#tos#also that weird thing next to the painting of Vulcan is an art piece i saw in a behind the scenes photo of jim's quarters#star trek
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I do love the duke Wyll trophy wife Astarion dynamic a lot but every time I play in that space I always wind up with this
#wyllstarion#wyll ravengard#astarion#bloodpact#bloodblade#bg3#baulders gate 3#astarion acunin#like i love this concept to much but they would go mac and dennis move to the suburbs about it#astarion also very much wants to stab cazadors friends but is holding back for wylls sake#as a politician wyll cant even be a little bitch to them either. hed loose it.#at some point wyll is only there due to stubbornness and a sense of duty and also to try and fix his relationship with ulder#and astarion has gone from “so all i have to do all day is look hot and love my husband and i get waited on hand and foot? this is perfect”#to “wait maybe my only worth here being that im fucking someone is not healthy for me huh”
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big fan of padmé traits that people like to dismiss as inconsistencies or writing flaws or reasons to dislike her. love how she’s idealistic to a fault. love her moral inconsistencies. love her staunch refusal to not see the best in those she loves. i find it much more fun to engage with these aspects of her than decry them as making no sense
#maybe some of it is writing flaws but at a certain point it gets boring to try to fix them#by ignoring them/rewriting her completely instead of just looking at what’s presented and building off that#honestly i think the biggest problem with her is simply underwriting bc what we do see is very interesting#and TO ME paints a fascinating and consistent picture#padmé amidala#padme amidala#star wars#keat.txt
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my bikini kiryu is up on nexusmods :^)
have fun <3
#yakuza#kazuma kiryu#like a dragon#infinite wealth#like a dragon infinite wealth#ryu ga gotoku#rgg8#theres a tiiiiny bit of clipping i might try to fix at some point but its just the straps when he moves his shoulders a lot#ada speaks#blender shit
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woa, whats they sayings?
(textless below)
#hehehehe#Xael#oc art#furry artist#furry art#furry#sfw furry#safe fur work#pixel art#pixelart#cat furry#digital art#ill post the translation page at some point >wo#(totally havent posted it cuz its old and absolutely disgusting and i need to fix it up#nooohohoho)#actually#it might be one of those things were i dont post it for a long time#leave yall to try to translate on your own#(not sure how possible that is tho lmao)
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Gyari, casual outfit ★
#welcome to demon school iruma kun#mairimashita! iruma kun#mairuma#m!ik#Gyari#Slightly rushed#Idk why but I cannot zoom into/trying get the quality to sht but whatever#My excitement for this was thru the roof n fuel me to get this done fast#I'm happy with how it came out but I see some issues which I can't rlly fix without fucking up everything#Ie the quality when it zoomed in#N hindsight is only great cuz I realised I could have went for the les flag for the background colours#But I went for more kuromu colour palette instead#Which Ig is the same thing but!#Anyways hype for the date chapter n probs at some point do the other panels#My hands r aching n slightly shaking lmao rn tho#Not the happiest about the background but idk what I would have went w tbh#My colourings
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#fifth doctor#tegan jovanka#tales of the tardis#doctor who#dwedit#dw#*#tales of the tardis spoilers#doctor who spoilers#60th anniversary spoilers#again don't talk to me abt how drastically the colors change every 2 seconds -_-#i'd spend more time trying to fix it but. i have to actually sleep at some point. so. ✌️#to reiterate a third time. I LOVE THEM.
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It's a time-honoured tradition- every time Sam comes across Izzy (and Ed) in their travels, he asks Izzy to marry him. And every time, Izzy turns him down.
At this point, Sam is asking more for the sake of it than any belief Izzy will ever say yes, a remnant of childhood dedication touched with 30 years of heartbreak and regret- though even now, a small part of him still holds out hope. Sam's promises have only got more extravagant over the years, from a job as his first mate, to a captaincy, a fleet at his command, a whole fucking island if that's what Izzy wants- but he knows it isn't though, not really. If Izzy was ever going to agree to marry him, to leave his life and go with Sam, it wouldn't be for anything Sam could offer him. Izzy never did care for flashy shows of wealth, for a ship or to be captain. The only thing that ever mattered to him was loyalty given, and loyalty shown in return.
It all comes to a head after Stede left and came back, after Izzy lost a toe, lost his leg. Sam hasn't seen him since before things with Ed started to really slide off the rails, before stress permanently set into the lines of Izzy’s face. So, when he sees a dishevelled man with a hoof for a leg in a no-name port, he doesn't even consider the idea that he might know him. It's only when he turns towards him, and Sam catches a glance at those oh too familiar tattoos, he realises this is Izzy, his Izzy, that stands before him.
Knowing Izzy's discomfort with pity, he doesn't treat him any differently than he would in years gone by, positioning himself in Izzy's line of sight before approaching and sweeping him up into a bone crushing hug.
“Israel-goddamn-Hands!” he exclaims, as Izzy grumbles back a begrudging “Samuel-fucking-Bellamy”, a tradition almost as old as their friendship itself. Izzy might not hug him back, but he can’t keep the corner of his mouth from twitching, just for a second.
(If Sam holds Izzy a little tighter and a little longer than usual, well. That's his business)
By the time Sam lets go, most of the crew has appeared in the town square, drawn in by the commotion. They may have given Izzy his leg and welcomed him as one of them, but still there’s an underlying tension, with nobody quite ready to set aside everything that happened before the Kraken. Seeing him cosying up to an unknown man sets everyone on edge, unsure whether to come to their first mate’s aid, or to assume that they've been betrayed once again.
When Ed sees that the yelling was Sam, his hand goes tense where it's held in Stede's. He knows the routine, has seen it more times than he can count, but as he watches them part he realises that this is the first time in a long time he's unsure of what Izzy's response will be.
Knowing that something’s different, knowing that Izzy's feeling vulnerable already, Sam doesn't go for the same flashy proposal he’s been giving for years. He doesn't promise Izzy the world, he doesn't cause a scene (or, any more of a scene than he already has, anyway). He looks at the fractured man in front of him, takes his face in his hands, and says the exact same thing to him he said when they were little more than boys. “Israel, I have to ask you. I know what you'll say, but I have to try. Come with me. Marry me and sail away with me. I'll keep you safe”
And Izzy… hesitates. He glances over at Ed, at Stede, and says to Sam “...We’re staying in port for a week. Ask me again then”
That's the moment Sam knows there is something deeply, horribly, wrong. He's not just looking at an Izzy who got seriously injured in a fight and is struggling to cope, this is something so much bigger than that- and that Ed has something to do with it. Izzy wouldn't even be considering leaving if he didn't. Whether it was negligence or something more sinister, Sam doesn't yet know, but he intends to find out.
#i feel like the little paragraph about the crew is real clunky and out of place but i wanted some kind of establishment of where those#dynamics are at. its important that the crew is something for izzy to consider in his decision; but also that their relationship isnt so#solid he would stay for them alone; yknow?#im sorta aiming for a s2e5 era but like. early in those themes. he cant be all sorted yet i need him to be struggling#anyway this is part of a much larger scenario in my head that im never ever doing anything with but i wrote THIS bit in a daze in like. jun#and i got thinking about it again and i think?? it holds its own as a 'hey think about THIS' snippet. idk you decide#youre welcome to interpret this as solo bellhands but in my head it Has morphed into sam/izzy/ed/stede#because i cant not put edizzy in things any more. izzy has two hands#i also think the comedy potential of one of your boyfriends HATING your other boyfriend is gold. 10/10 dynamic#stede is mostly along for the ride in this but also i think they need him#aaaaand. the sam/ed bracket i think can only be closed in exceptional circumstances. i think they 'hate' each other too much#...which is WHY someones getting kidnapped!!! yay#anyway its all irrelevant because ill never write it out. i can do silly chill things but thatll require work#nyxtalks#ofmd#our flag means death#izzy hands#israel hands#sam bellamy#bellhands#i wanna also say. the general concept of repeated sam proposals has been floating around my head forever#it used to be a more silly thing like i referenced at the start but. s2 gave me angsty feelings i guess#i cant not have izzy have feelings for ed right now which inherently adds layers to Any bellhands scenarios i think.#but yeah. its a Classic Bellhands vibe for me. sam seeing izzy at sea or on shore and asking him to marry him (again)#i like to do this with jackie too. i think i just want that man to be obnoxiously desired#(theres also layers of my personal hornigold era lore built into this but i hope it holds up without u knowing it. tldr. sam lost izzy by#being an idiot n fumbling the bag. thats what matters. izzy went with ed and sams been trying to fix it ever since)#i probably should have readmore'd this but i didnt think it was Quite long enough. or had a good break point. sorry <3
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"well, simmons, if you ever find yourself back on earth an-" "i won't." "i know, i know. but if you do…" "okay. sure."
#rvb#red vs blue#grimmons#grif#simmons#dexter grif#richard simmons#rvb19 spoilers#rvb restoration#restoration spoilers#mine#*24#when i was finishing this outpost sunset by trocadero came on shuffle...#long distance grimmons trying to survive as if they're not codependant is hijinks central tho. like s15's arc but less angsty#making simmons' arm made me realize i should make a ref sheet for my rvb hcs at some point. i just always wing it#im trying to draw more again btw but my usb cord is still fucked so its very annoying to constantly fix it lol
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No teen farewell is complete without embarrassment.
[First] Prev <–-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#jin ling#lan jingyi#lan sizhui#wei wuxian#Jin Ling and Lan Jingyi are tsundere 4 tsundere and I am *here* for it. They are friends now!! they are going to miss each other!!#Also say goodbye to the PD-MDZS jin ling classic outfit. I'm gonna be changing it up a bit the next time he comes around.#The hat stays ON though.#This was originally going to be comic 100 which is why there's a funny continuity fix gag#because yes - at some point I forgot to draw JL's vermillion mark and decided to keep going with it to eventually correct it in a comic.#This has been plauging me for months. Thank you to everyone who noticed and decided to say nothing.#I try my best to have consistency within my very simply character designs but I am forgetful...and often drawing these at 3am.#wwx is embodying mums and aunties with their stain removing lick and rub. Except in reverse (adding a mark).#Where does the red come from? You don't want to know.
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okay but going back to zagreus and melinoë for a second... i think when they meet they're going to have a LOT to work on with each other if they're going to get along. zagreus likes to push boundaries and he doesn't like leaving things unresolved if there's something he can do about it and melinoë is a LOT like hades in so many ways (temperment and sometimes her tone in particular). they're going to get on each others' nerves. they're going to drive each other up the wall. they're going to need time to get to know each other and understand each other and they might not get the chance to during hades 2 (what with mel's task seeming pretty nonstop. i know she's a goddess but girl don't you get tired???).
#hades 2#hades 2 spoilers#there's a lot that zag can pick up about mel from around the crossroads tbf just by talking to other people#especially hecate odysseus and nemesis#and dora too. although dora would just give zagreus the information he wants for free. without even asking#there are some things i can see them getting along about and they might be really excited at first#but at the same time zag spent a lot of time and effort trying to fix his relationship with hades and hades' relationship with persephone#and the olympians. he pretty much made it so melinoë CAN exist. and he probably feels some sort of responsibility for her#as her big brother and just. that's the way he is about the people he loves too#i think that when he meets melinoë he's going to be. upset#moreso than hades was upset. not only because he didn't get to see her grow up#but also because this is worse than the worst case scenario#to him at least. he would want to protect her but mel is her own person. she's grown and she's learned how to rely on herself#(to the point of it being a detriment lmao)#and she would Not vibe with that at all.#and yeah mel has some of persephone in there as well (she has her kindness and drive to help others) but iirc that's more. recent?#idk hecate had something to say about that i just forgot what she said
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I'm sorry, Spamton. I know you won't believe me, but I'm sorry we hurt you.
#GOD this fucker corrupted my gif again.#Ignore the page is missing im not gonna fix it. Hes looking at the paper. its just uhhh out of your view#made this one up on the spot lmao i dont have many inbetweens planned... if its not up to par to the others thats why#i wish i did do inbetweens but i only have the main ones planned#btw usually when he asks stuff like this he's looking for a response (im looking for a response. me.)#thank you anon oh my goooooodddd you were my descending angel while looking for an ask along these lines#this ask is perfect. Not too overcomplicated. nothing that would set him off. Short and sweet and to the point but its got nice impact.#in this context at least. I rlly needed it lol.#some were.. too much and some were really half assed apologies that go immediately back to asking him stuff LMAOOO#Guysss work with me here im actually trying to guide you to really apologize to him#[you've got mail!]#spamton#spamton g spamton#deltarune#deltarune spamton#deltarune chapter 2#Ill fix the inside of the dumpster later. its not to scale goddamnit.#Typos in his speech are on purpose to clarify lol#spent a damn hour fixing the gif. grrhhhhh....
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A little promo with my little obsession on the side...........
Reminder all items are shipped from Poland - for details on shipping times check out FAQ or send me a private message!
mmezzy.bigcartel.com
#klance#halloween au#im projecting on the internet my own impostor syndrome#i feel that im awful and should be learning how to draw instead of writing shitty fics#and when i want to write a post and share a little doodle or smth - 'sorry' is right between the lines and its so frustrating#like???? nobody probably cares#im either here or im not#and if i need to finish that little abomination of a fic then so be it you'd think people wouldnt mind too much#and would still want to listen to my captions and see whatever silly doodle however silly it is as long as its true#..............but what if its all redundant#what if i cant draw after i had to flip my entire routine upside down#and will forever chase a thrill of feeling like a prolific artist and it will be always out of reach now#what if people scroll past my art and feel nothing now#what if world is filled with people who kinda hate klance but stay out of reflex and not bc its their deeply routed source of comfort#what if i reached an artistic plateau and will never be good enough#what if this is the limit of my 'talent'#what if i will forever love the projects i want to share but will always hate the execution of it wanting to fix it fix it fix it learn mor#i keep reading the little notes i get on orders#some screenshots i saved#i find good words and opinions and love letters to art as a whole#and i feel insufficient#subpar#i drew a comic about it to an old poem and still havent finished it#there is a point of trying your best when it stops feeling like a challenge and feels like a failure#its the moment where you keep going of course#and yet#there are emotions im sure nobody shares on social media bc we just try to get through them#but who else will take it better than tumblr tags#either way if im less around its because im dealing with creational self-hatred and artistic ambitions#but on the other hand arent all artists like that? i ran out of tag space btw have an awesome weekend
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