#as if i'm just talking out of my ass or making shit up
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I'm in gen Z and I've got friends who think like this
I wasn't too sheltered as a kid or a teen so like I don't agree with some but I can see the reasoning. Though the asking to masturbate one is wild, like wtf dude that's just like... A weird thing to ask. Also thought it was like a canon event for some ppl to masturbate to like the idea of ppl they found attractive. I've never done that cuz yeah it feels really fucking weird like dawg I know that person, but ASKING is so fucking wild man 😭
And actors younger than 18 what's that about? If it ain't got sexual content I don't see the problem as long as like workplace abuse isn't happening because it's pretty common to my knowledge in the industry.
Like how am I on the other side of my own generations BS 😂😭 I think I should be grateful??
Don't think not smoking and drinking is a bad thing though lmao. But I know a lot of my friends and I were shamed for sex related stuff by our parents. I mean when I was i think 16 or 17 my mother went through *private* ifykyk messages and continued to shame me for things that were said for a month or so after, even getting my MUCH younger sisters involved by telling them "Leaf is doing nasty things' or "Leaf is doing things she knows she shouldn't" and then she'd directly quote things I said to my partner as a way to embarrass me. Kinda weird looking back on it but my mom's kinda fucked up lol
But I had a lot of friends with similar experiences. It doesn't really create a safe place for what are pretty normal feelings :/
But then on the complete opposite side we have shows like Big Mouth and sites like AO3 where it's a very normal thing to be horny and have kinks and it's not shamed, sometimes even encouraged. We grew up wack y'all lol
So lines had to be drawn SOMEWHERE and for a lot of ppl my age it gets to be a little much
Like I have a friend who hates like any sort of sexual reference to underage characters. Which is totally fair they're underage it's whatever. But it's to the point he gets like defensive about it. And he's the dude who's pretty steadfast in his beliefs, but it got to the point even i thought it was a little weird. Like sometimes he'd get mad about making out or slightly heavier relationships between minors, eich again I can see the thought process, but also ppl are having sex by 16 or 17, and it makes sense that characters those ages would be doing similar things. I grew up reading books where teenagers did teenager things, and I feel like there is a level of age appropriate stuff? Like no dawg don't make full ass bdsm shit for teens but I feel like referenced or even vanilla type shit is fine????
I don't have a license so I can't talk-
Working on it though ;v;
And yeah lmao masturbate it's good for you (no literally there are studies saying it's good to do lmfao, like drinking a single glass of red wine before bed once a night is good for you... Unless your a recovering alcoholic then maybe not)
Sorry went on like a whole tangent lol but I'm bored and wanted to throw my two cents as someone who's got friends who think like op mentioned but I... Don't lol.
weird anti ideology finally leaking out into the mainstream
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mouthwashing spoilers, mentions of fictional sexual assault, discussion of fictional neglect and abuse of a disabled person, the many nuances of the patriarchy and capitalism
Let's have a chat about how Swansea and Daisuke failed Anya as crewmates!
Thank you everyone for your very lovely and thoughtful responses to my previous Mouthwashing meta pieces, here and here.
Let's have some more thoughts! Again, I'm examining the text from the perspective of a sexual assault survivor, a survivor of a life threatening accident, a domestic violence survivor and a person who grew up in poverty.
I love this game for giving me enough meat to sink my teeth into, for fodder for thought.
I've written about how supremely vulnerable Curly is, post-crash, the real true horror of being reliant for every aspect of your survival on an abusive person.
I'd like to look at another aspect now, the fatigue and isolation of the carer under a profit driven patriarchy!
Being a carer for someone who is entirely reliant on you is tough, is stressful and supremely isolating. The best and most dedicated carers in the world get burnt out, and not because they are bad people who don't truly want the best for the person in their charge.
You see it happen. Their friends and family disengage with them, not wanting to be asked to help, not wanting to confront the difficulty and reality of disability. They'll start to ask why the carer doesn't give their charge up into permanent care, they'll make snide comments about how much easier it would be if they weren't a carer....and if a carer cannot provide for their charge, and does get professional support or their person does go into care, they get met with judgement for 'not trying hard enough' or bewilderment that they might be upset.
The disabled are seen as a burden, and when anyone tries to challenge that, the system is set up both at a macro and micro level to fundamentally quash that challenge.
And at home carers? Over proportionally, they are women.
So look at what happens to Anya. Anya is a medical professional, yes. But there are many tasks that could be done in Curly's care that don't require specialised skills. Swansea or Daisuke could have stepped in at any minute and offered her help.
Instead, she asks Jimmy, the man who abused her, who is abusing Curly to help, because as awful as it is, he's literally the only other person interacting with Curly.
He's the only person who talks to Curly post crash. Anya doesn't say a word to him, only talks about him.
Anya is not a cruel person. She's not revenge driven or malicious. She actively does not want to hurt Curly, his pain is extremely distressing to her, and she is put in the position where she has to cause it, either by her own hands or Jimmy's by proxy, because she has no other help.
Swansea is very dismissive of Anya. He refers to her as our so-called nurse, that woman, and that rickety elbow of a woman. Swansea also shit talks Daisuke, and we know he has affection for Daisuke, but actions, or inaction speak louder than words.
This is a game where taking responsibility is a core theme, and Anya is forced to take sole responsibility, where she could have been supported and helped, if Swansea or Daisuke could have stepped up as her crewmates.
Daisuke is a grown ass man. Is he a young man? Yes. Is he a full grown adult capable of making his own decisions and responsible for his own actions? Yes.
So his choice, to actively ignore Curly and Anya, is just another decision.
The way this mirrors the way society isolates carers is such a good piece of storytelling to me. The way it causes Anya so much stress, the way it causes the quality of care she provides to Curly to degrade because she is the only person helping...it's a mirror of real life.
Is it because Anya is the nurse? Sure. Is it because she's the only woman? Maybe. Is it because both Daisuke and Swansea are mired in different versions of toxic masculinity? Absolutely.
Daisuke's indifference and pleasant disengagement, while being tolerated by everyone, handwaving away criticism is the prerogative of a rich young person, especially a rich young man. It'll all be alright! and no one expects anything of him. It's not the same thing, but there's that tinge of learned helplessness in there.
Swansea's unpleasant, grinding negativity, his self focus, the way everything is a burden to him...if you haven't had to work with a man like this, you're doing well in life. You never ever want to ask them anything because it's like being rubbed by angry sandpaper.
If i seem like I'm being very harsh against Daisuke and Swansea, I am. I am purposefully pointing out their worse qualities, not just as people but as crew.
There is no unity within the crew, and the company prefers it that way. No one unionises after all, if they can't stand or trust one another. They force Curly, a chronic people pleaser to hold himself above them, which spirals his anxiety, which leads into him failing as a captain in a myriad of ways.
Daisuke is introduced too late and underprepared. The crew is automatically going to be against him, frustrated with him, and he has no incentive to work against that, apart from his own easy going nature.
Anya is under immense self pressure. She's failed to get into medical school 8 times. She's got no savings. And then she is in close quarters with her abuser, and the only person she tells about it believes her AND THEN does nothing, and seemingly then crashes the ship.
Swansea has that inbuilt, boiling pressure of a life lived like he feels he's supposed to. But he's supremely unhappy, lashes out at everyone. And not in the way that Jimmy does, but in this unpleasant background radiation way, where everyone is already under so much stress.
Jimmy was barely keeping himself together under Curly's command. Without it, he's a whirlwind of aggression, negativity, threats and delivered acts of violence. There was no unity with him, previously, and there certainly isn't any now.
Everyone is responsible for their own actions, and inaction. But the company set them up to fail before they set off, and then the social desertion of Anya dooms the crew.
Anya doesn't need to be rescued, no one needs to get revenge for her. What Anya needs is support, in the actual physical sense.
Swansea could talk to Curly, to distract him. Daisuke could be there to talk her through giving Curly his meds, keeping her panic at bay.
Literally the least they could do, it could have changed everything. If Jimmy was denied access to Curly, if there was a sense of solidarity between the crew, something, anything. If there was any trust at all.
But instead Daisuke gives into apathy, Swansea into secrecy, Anya into despair and Jimmy into a frothing frenzied need for control.
There is no win solution for the Tulpar crew. This is a hopeless crisis.
But if there had been a sense of community, of reciprocity, they'd have options. But it becomes the loudest voice in the room, Jimmy's voice, and just like that, the options disappear.
Being a carer takes community support. It's how carers are kept accountable too, because a disabled person who needs that level of care exists at the whim of the carer. A carer has to be supported to be supportive. Anya receives nothing.
#mouthwashing#swansea mouthwashing#anya mouthwashing#daisuke mouthwashing#curly mouthwashing#jimmy mouthwashing#mouthwashing spoilers
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triggered
jana x oc
warnings: oc is going through a breakup
get it the fuck together jaz. lock. in.
staring into the mirror, i study every aspect of my face. my curls flow down my back. my face is beat to perfection. the jewelry i have on costs more than my rent.
i should be ecstatic.
i'm living every girls dream.
there are 5000 people outside this bathroom door, chanting my name, waiting for me to give them memories they'll die with.
and yet i'm in here, staring at myself, fighting the urge to say fuck this shit and go home.
my phone dings, and i ignore it, thinking it's my manager, telling me i need to haul ass and get on stage.
but then it dings again.
holly never texts twice.
i pull out my phone and it's paige.
i forgot she's here.
paigey be you. be great.
oh fuck her for that.
now i have to go on.
with a sigh, and a quick tune up in the mirror, i open the door, march to the stage entrance and wait for my que.
the music starts and i walk with all the confidence i can muster and smile at the deafening screams of my name.
jazmin! jazmin! jazmin!
paige is front and center, with all her teammates and azzi.
i used to be the number one pazzi shipper. i fought for this relationship to happen. i practically shoved paige out of the closet myself so that she and azzi could be together.
and now here they are with my face on their shirts and holding each other in their arms and i want to throw up.
not because i don't want them together, but because seeing that makes the loneliness in my chest seem bigger.
i don't even really miss her. i just miss having someone to call at 3 am when i can't sleep. i miss having someone to call first when i get news. i miss having someone to hold.
i guess you could say i miss being in a relationship, rather than the person i was in a relationship with.
"hey guys !" i yell into the mic, and everyone screams. "thank you all for coming out today, i love you all so much!" the crowd is deafening. "i wanna give special shout out to my sister, paige and the other members of the UCONN womens basketball team for being hear today!" the camera pans to paige and the girls, and i do a double take when i see a girl around my age, towering over everyone else. "i love you paigey!" the crowd goes wild.
the concert began and i used my show to work through all the mixed emotions i was feeling, bringing my audience with me through them.
we danced during my verse on my type. laughed during b.s. . cried during none of your concern.
and after an hour and 30 minutes of singing, dancing, crying, and yapping between songs, the concert was over.
and i could a breathe again.
until i was bombarded by my 6'1 sister and her ginormous friends.
everyone told me how amazing i look and sound and how they listen to my music everyday. these are things i hear everyday so i say the same response i say everyday.
"thank you so much."
"aye we're boutta go to a club, you trynna roll with us?" paige asked, rubbing her hands together and looking at her girlfriend, who i'm just now realizing is wearing a semi-skimpy outfit.
so is everyone else, actually.
and now they're looking at me like i can't say no.
so i don't.
"uh yeah!" i chuckle uncomfortably. "just let me change real quick."
*luh time skip*
i'm actually glad i came out.
we got a section. bottles galore. music is booming.
the vibes are actually immaculate. i'm two shots in and kk is twerking in my lap as big boogie talks about taking caramel colored baddie to poundtown. we vibing for real.
i've learned the beautiful girl from earlier is named jana. she doesn't really talk, and i guess she'd too young to drink because she's been babysitting ginger ale all night.
"i'm gonna go get a bottle of casamingo!" i annouce, bouncing up from the counch and stomping down the stair of our section.
when i reach the bar, i pay the bartender and wait for my bottle. but while i'm waiting i hear my name being called and i assume it's a fan, so i turn around with a huge smile, only to be slapped in the face with the sight of my ex-girlfriend, kristen.
she looks exactly the same as she did three weeks ago when we broke up. and for some reason that pisses me off. it makes my blood boil and my breath quicken.
i'm ripped out of my trance when i hear the dj yell, "WE GOT JAZMIN INNA HOUSE!!!"
fuck. he's gonna make me sing.
"COME UP AND GIVE SOMETHING GIRL!" he shouts and everyone screams in agreement.
in a daze, i walk to the stage and grab the mic.
everyone chants,
freestyle freestyle freestyle
and then the dj, who i'm beginning to really fucking hate, plays a beat i've never heard before, leaving me not knowing what the fuck to do.
i look to our section, and see my sister with her phone up, recording. i see azzi giving me thumbs up like the sweetheart she is. i see kk clapping and cheering with everyone else.
i see jana, with a look of fear in her eyes.
like she can tell that i'm freaking fuck out, so she is too.
but i can't go out like this.
so i catch the beat, and sing whatever comes to mind.
saying everything that's been on my mind for weeks now.
"go figure you were the trigger you brought me to an obstructed view when you knew the picture was bigger who am i kiddin? knew from the beginnin you'd ruin everything you do it everytime you are my enemy, you are no friend of mine, muhfucka"
the crowd is loving it, swaying their flashlights to the music. paige looks so proud of me. she knows how i've been struggling since everything happened so i think she knows what a release this is.
i look over to kristen who looks delectable, like always and it's pissing me off because the sex was great, but everything else sucked. but it's been so fucking long and i know that if i had 5 minutes to talk to her earlier i would have been back at square one in that toxic cycle of fucking and making up.
"wanna fuck you right now i just turned the light out know and you know when the sun go down that's when it would all go down been a minute been a while ain't let nobody hit since you hit it i know you always know what to do with it but ain't no me and you without you in it damn i'm boutta burn this bitch down think i need to lie down cause i'm not trynna wild out now. but right now..."
i think of the screaming matches. the broken phone. the hole in my wall.
"don't know what i'm capable of might fuck around and go crazy on cuz might fuck around have to pay me in blood this ain't the way that you want it might catch a case in this bitch don't let m catch you face t face in this bitch trying my hardest not to disrespect you but after what you did, man what you expect? you muhfucka"
i find jana in the crowd because her face is so calming to me, and i don't know why. her eyes are closed and she's just vibing with a small smile on her face.
she's not recording or anything, she's just enjoying the moment, and that warms my heart.
"trynna let the time fly trynna let the time go by trynna let the time heal all trynna let the time kill all of our memories all you meant to me all that's history i'll calm down eventually fall back into me maybe i'm overeacting baby i don't know what happened you know all of my bad habits you know it's hard for me to control that shit man cuz when i get mad i get big mad shoulda never did that, get back in my bag in my feelings i'm a bad lil bitch and uh-"
i look back to kristen, who's wearing a pained expression on her face.
good.
she know it's about her.
"i'm triggered, when i see your face triggered when i hear your name triggered, i am not okay you need to stay out my what triggered when i hear your name triggered i am not okay you need to stay out my way."
and then it's over, and the crowd cheers, and i hurry off the stage, back to my section where my friends all hug me and tell me that it was beautiful.
and when the crowd settles, and i've taken another shot, because i felt entirely too sober, someone taps me on my shoulder.
it's jana.
"can i get your number?"
"huh?" i ask confused as to why she'd want my number.
"uh..." she looks around for a second. "i just wanna pay you back for the bottle."
jana hasn't been drinking.. why would she need to pa-
a light bulb goes off in my head and it all come together.
"here." i hold my phone to hers and our contacts share to each other.
am i ready for this?
probably not.
but.... we gotta start somewhere right?
niyah speaks lawd they got me writing a seriessss
taglist: @patscorner @riyahtheballer @mattslolita @thaatdigitaldiary @janaelalfysblunt @mrsengstler @kmoneymartini @sageworld
@darkskinchristiandiorpostergirl @justliketoreadsowhat @pboogerswbb @pb524830 @dnftpn @sierrale8ne @ohbueckers @mrsarnold @wbbgetsmewetter @paigesbabygirl @ch12334
@pppaaiiiggggeeeeee @uwupaige @paigeluvvr @colorthecosmos444 @authentic-girl03 @makethemhoesmad
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Still seeing so much shit everywhere abt both charles and carlos, like it's reaching a peak.
I just don't understand why both fanbases are destroying the other, when the only one to blame is the TEAM. ITS FERRARI. THEY ARE THE PROBLEM!!!
I'm not even gonna talk abt the pitting calls, bc that was just one major fuck up after another. However, I will talk abt the absolute shite communication that ferrari had with both drivers that led to whatever war between fans is happening right now.
On one hand, we have ferrari telling Charles that carlos wouldn't overtake him, and on the other, we have ferrari telling carlos not to pressure Charles. Most of you might think it's the exact same thing, but it really isn't guys. In no way did Carlos pressure Charles. Carlos' tyres were 2 laps old. They were heated up. Charles was PARALLEL to Carlos upon pit exit (NOT ahead). Charles had new, cold, dead tyres, all carlos literally had to do was drive arnd him, there was no pressuring.
A lot of ppl are also talking about how the results for ferrari would've been much better if Carlos had let Charles past... yeah no. They wouldn't have. Mercedes was absolutely on fire this week. There was genuinely no way Ferrari could've gotten any better result than a P3 and P4, and telling one driver to give up a podium position just to try and cement your other drivers standing as SECOND place in the drivers standings?? Um... yh that's just in bad taste.
Also, ppl are arguing over the stat they showed that if the team would've just listened to Carlos' requests about pitting earlier, he would've ended ahead of Lewis. Personally, I don't think that would've happened, BUT I do believe there would've been a much larger chance of Carlos and Charles being closer to the Merc if Ferrari had just LISTENED to their drivers.
And abt this radio msg:
I honestly don't think Charles was even talking abt Carlos here, this is just him talking abt the team. I feel Charles has ALWAYS blindly trusted the team, done whatever they told him to do. Then we have Carlos, he argues back. Tells the team what he thinks would be better. Ignores orders sometimes to do what he thinks would be better, and it ALWAYS is better. This is Charles being over it, and I'm glad. I'm glad he's over it. Ferrari need to get their heads out of their asses and listen to their drivers because it is reaching a point.
Sidenote:
This radio msg mad me laugh so hard (literally as a carlos fan), idk why y'all are talking abt how it's XENOPHOBIC??? LMFAOOO that's a MAD reach. Carlos is literally a slightly tanned European man BWAHAHAHAH, as a POC I feel slightly mad abt all of u losing ur ahit over this yet when it comes to injustices done to ACTUAL POC drivers, everyone stays silent?? Yh shut up.
I feel u guys forget that this is a competitive sport where drivers are filled to the brim with adrenaline, ofc Charles is gonna make some comments when things don't go the way he thinks they will.
Anywayyy, that's my rant done. Just had to get all this shit out. Even if none of this is true or what acc happend I still stand with my drivers rights and wrongs, so Carlos my pookie dw I love you ur so real.
#Nep speaks☆#f1#formula one#formula 1#carlos sainz#charles leclerc#carlos sainz jr#ferrari#las vegas gp 2024
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I agree with this comment here so hard, I remember getting blasted for calling readers who don't comment "leeches" on R/Fanfiction and I'm glad people are seeing that for what it is even if it's four years late
So, I'm gonna share my own little story here because discord has actively ruined communities for fanfic (and art too I'm not gonna leave y'all out cause my bestie @zoetiger-1106 is an artist who deserves way more praise than she gets!!) The reason why authors and myself see the "I'm shy" shit as an excuse is because the same people will type long ass tirades on Discord without a single thought. YOU CAN EDIT AO3 COMMENTS PEOPLE! If you make a mistake, read it back over and edit it. I've watched it happen in real-time with one of my favorite commenters on my one-shot where they left a short gushing comment and then came back and wrote more, you have no excuse much less reason to go "Man fandom keeps telling me to not critique and I might make a mistake so I will say nothing and consume like the average TV and Streaming consumer who thinks there doing something!" YOU have a lot of power with comments and even those bookmark tags hell just copy-paste what you put into those bookmark tags as a comment I DON'T CARE AT THIS POINT USE THAT LIL BOX TO VOICE SOMETHING!!!! God this is all over the place idc but I read back at those bookmarks, and saw people call my works the best and super cool and I APPRECIATE THAT but tell me! Stop taking the easy route, I been blasted for misunderstandings over comments multiple times cause people take my "tone" terribly cause it sucks being black and emotive online yay and for some reason people think !!!! Is bad? yes, I've been hit with that but I keep on trucking cause fuck whatever some weirdo thinks about exclamation points! Anyways back to discord and why I hate it now, I was in a small fandom, KFP got invited to a discord cause ONE person commented on my works and saw they talked about my fic, and at first, I was happy and people TALKED about my chapters at length in the fanfic channel. I basically was the ONLY ONE posting consistently in that channel and it was great but also I wanted that on my fic to show I improved so guess what I did? I went all in trying to one-up myself to be noticed, to have the acclaim my peers did so it would evolve outside of discord channels but it never happened. And Imma tell y'all now; it never will. Readers prefer convenience over your hard work, they are not gonna take time for you no matter how much you improve. People told me over and over while I looked for solutions for this; "We can't make commenting look like an obligation." "Add more prose, space these paragraphs better" all this just for no one to take the initiative and say something SINCERE towards a work they love on it. I've had to tell my own ex-friends now to go leave comments on works they called Masterpieces while ignoring me. Despite the fact they wanted Gen content in which I WROTE. Or met people who have very weird "I don't review" rules for themselves despite getting motivated by reviews themselves!! We're in a shitty time for creatives much less community cause we don't see each other as humans much less want to treat each others as we desire to be treated. Fanfic readers want to treat authors like showrunners and I hate it. But then your peers will tell you 'not to worry about engagement" and no I am because why is my hit count going up every day but ain't no one saying shit? Make it make sense!! I sat in that community commenting as much as I could, especially on long fics; it wasn't all perfect but I TRIED. I didn't expect shit back but hey it would have been nice but it never happened and again I learned; it never would. That's the real issue, no one wants to give no more; just take and take and take til you're sucked dry of passion worse than any corpo out right now. It's why I thankfully switched fandoms. I got ONE consistent commenter and they are better than that ENTIRE SMALL CLOSED COMMUNITY!! So, to any discord reactor for fanfic you better skip on to that message you made and copy and paste it in this box right here and never utter "I'm shy" ever again cause we see you, our friends tell us about you. You are not as anonymous as you think! 🫵🏽
A writer friend told me something that broke my heart a little bit today; they're going to quit publishing their fanfic.
My instant thought was that they had been trolled or attacked or that something terrible had happened in their life because this person is so passionate about their writing. It wasn't any of that. Engagement with their works has been going down, as it has for many of us. Comments are like gold dust a lot of the time, and just looking through the historical comment counts on old fics on ao3 demonstrates this trend very clearly. It was not simply the comments dropping off which caused them to decide to stop posting, however.
My friend came across a discord server for their fandom (I should point out here that their fandom interest and mine diverged a couple of years ago, we stay in touch but don't currently read each other's posts because I'm not into their fandom and they would rather gouge their eyes out with a wooden spoon than read anything Star Wars) and specifically to share fic in that fandom. They joined, because we all love a good fic rec, only to discover that their latest multichapter fic, which has almost no comments and very few kudos, is being hotly discussed in this server as one of the best stories ever. Not one of these people has bothered to say this to them on the fic. When they asked, none of participants could see the point in telling the author of the fic they apparently loved so much that they love it.
This discovery has absolutely destroyed my friend's love of sharing fic. They share because they love seeing other people's enjoyment, and fic writers do that through comments and kudos/reblogs/likes because we don't get paid. There is no literary critic writing a blog post/article about how amazing the story is for us to copy and keep/frame. There is no money from royalties. All we have are the words of the people reading our works.
Those people on that server could have taken five minutes of the time they spent gushing about how amazing my friend's story was to other people and used it to tell the one person guaranteed to want to hear that praise how much they loved it. They could have taken a moment to express their opinion to the person who spent hours upon hours plotting, writing, editing, and posting those chapters. Instead, they deprived my friend of thing that keeps them sharing their writing, and in the process have killed their love of it. My friend now feels used and unmotivated.
I won't be sharing a link to their fic, they said I could share their experience but not their identity. I know they plan to post one final chapter. I know they intend to express their hurt at being excluded from the praise for the thing they created, and I know they intend to announce that as a consequence they will not be posting for a long while, if at all.
So please, I beg you, don't hide your love of a story from the writer. It's just about the only thing we have.
#fanfiction#fanfic#god I hate talking about that ol fandom shit#i sound like a vet whose seen some shit#but im sick of other writers and readers downplaying how we feel#taylor talks
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✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧✩₊˚.⋆
"I hope it's okay if I love you forever"
✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧✩₊˚.⋆
Adam x f!reader
cw: cursing, Adam being Adam, kissing (no smut just cute fluff)
Smut ver. linked here!
A/n: First story I post on Tumblr! Hope you guys enjoy reading. Feel free to leave any sort of feedback in the comments :)
✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧✩₊˚.⋆
"Aw Lute, I'm gonna fuck this up so bad!" Adam said as he paced back and fourth in his office. "Sir, it's really not that big of a deal. You're only asking her out-" Lute replied before being cut off "Not that big of a deal?! What if the bitch rejects me!? What if..." Adam panicked. He'd been planning on asking you out for months, he just didn't know how..
At first, he was his usual confident, cocky self but as soon as he looked at you, his mind blanked. Since then, he'd been trying to find the perfect moment just to ask you. "God, Lute...whenever I look at her..." Adam smiles as he speaks about you, "Her pretty face...her smile...even her voice is just..fuck, her hot ass voice is-" Lute cuts him off "I get it sir, you love her." "Y-yeah...I love her...a lot..but how the hell do I show it without saying stupid shit and being a fuckin' dick?"
Lute sighs and rolls her eyes "Just...be yourself but completely different, y'know? Girls like that type of thing." Adam inhales and exhales "Promise? What if I fuck the whole thing up?" He says, only slightly panicked now. "You wont. Well, you most likely will, but she wont reject you." Lute chuckles as she smiles for the first time in a while. She quickly goes back to her serious self and shoos Adam away to talk to you. "Now get outta here already!"
‧͙⁺˚*・༓☾ time skip ☽༓・*˚⁺‧͙
Adam composed himself in the mirror, practicing what he was gonna say to you. "sooo...Y/n heh...you're pretty hot so- AW FUCK HOW IN HELL DO I DO THIS?!" he says to the mirror. He soon after walks out of his appartment and spots you walking through heaven. He rushes down to you.
When you see him, you immediately fix your clothes and hair, making sure to look extra cute for him. He appears behind you a few seconds later, acting 'cool' "Sup, buttercup~" he says, smirking seductively (or atleast what he thinks will be seductive to you), when in reality he's panicking. He makes a 'cool' pose, leaning against the wall.
"So~...you know how much i love that peice of ass and i also love railing that peice of ass...but...that's not why I'm here," Adam explains "look, you're cute and funny and..fuck..it's the first way I've felt like this since..Lilith.." He begins to blush and breath faster. "god...just-" he's cut off my your lips pressing against his. It was a light peck, but of course it still made his face heat up. He cups your cheeks (FACE 💀) and pulls away, smiling.
"So you were gonna ask me out?" you ask while you chuckle. "Y-yeah...I was..I'm taking that kiss as a yes?" he replies as he rubs the back of his neck, anxiously. "Yeah, I'll go out with you, dummy." Adam turns around and fist pumps the air "FUCK YEAH!" he yells, causing a few people to turn around and stare. "So I'll pick you up at 8?" He says as he goes back to his 'cool' pose against the wall. "Eh, right now works too."
『~☆Masterlist☆~』
#adam hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel fanfiction#hazbin hotel#character x reader#adam x reader#fanfiction#hazbin hotel adam#hazbin fanfic
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oh woooow who could have foreseen this 🙄
(meme courtesy of a ULO pal)
lmao okay so for context, since the 2 week hiatus was announced, people in the main sub have been insistent that the free readers are still gonna get their update this week. Even though I've explained it to them multiple times as clearly as I can that there isn't going to be any releases this week or next - that just because Rachel didn't post the notice in the free episode doesn't mean that the free readers are absolved from the hiatus and that they're still gonna get a free episode, because that wouldn't make sense if Rachel is trying to rebuild a buffer. The fact that she didn't edit the notice into the last free episode doesn't mean "free readers still get updates!" it just means Rachel doesn't bother to go back and edit her episodes when unplanned hiatuses happen, sorry if that's upsetting but you're gonna have to be mad at Rachel about it because she never has the foresight to think of these things that would benefit her audience.
Like, if it were a season or mid-season hiatus, yes, the FP episodes would become free because typically when series return from those planned breaks, they will 1.) want everyone "caught up" to the same point in the story for when it returns, and 2.) will post 1-2 free episodes plus three FastPass episodes so the FP readers can get a headstart.
There will always be a minimum of 3 FastPass episodes ahead of everyone else. This is a basic ass concept for anyone who knows how Webtoons works. If a creator is trying to rebuild a buffer, it would not make sense to put FastPass readers on break, have the free readers catch up, then have to put the free readers on break to release 3 more FP episodes to keep that 3-episode minimum headstart. That is the complete opposite of what rebuilding a buffer is meant to achieve and if Rachel did that, she'd be even worse off than she was going into her 2 week break. It's way more productive to just put everyone on break at the same time and then resume releases like normal without having to 'reset' that 3 episode buffer lead for FP readers.
Still, I've had people insisting with me that "no, the comic will still update for free people! They'll just take a break later after the FP break!" and "Well the episode still SAYS it's gonna go up in 4 days!" and completely not believing me as if I'm just trying to be an asshole. Even though we literally go through this routine every goddamn time there's an unplanned hiatus.
At this point I'm like, aight, suit yourself. Enjoy your new episode in... 14 days, which it's now been updated to and people are confused over as if I wasn't telling them this was exactly what was gonna happen LMAO
anyways, LO might not be updating, but Rekindled sure is so I hope y'all enjoy tonight's episode <3
#that's my salty post for the day#i'm done explaining this very simple concept to people LMAO#the free readers only get episodes still if it's a mid-season or season finale#unplanned breaks means EVERYONE goes on break#it's not that fucking complicated jfc#sorry if there are people learning this now that i seem outwardly aggressive to#i'm just annoyed when people try and talk down to me over this in the fucking main sub#as if i'm just talking out of my ass or making shit up#like these people who argue this shit don't even know what a buffer is for crying out loud#i know i'm being an asshole about this but ughhh it drives me nuts#anti lore olympus#antiloreolympus#lore olympus critical#lo critical
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"Oh no, someone's attracted to the aesthetics of my -punk movement but doesn't know the praxis and history behind it like I do--"
OK. Tell them. Make it a teaching moment. Everyone who's in your movement learned the background from somewhere at some point, maybe this is that point for that person. Give them a jumping off point that they can dive into later.
"Oh but I shouldn't be responsible for teaching baby -punks about the history and the how-tos and--"
OK. Then don't tell them. You don't have to be responsible for teaching people with a budding interest in your group the ins and outs and how-tos. That's fair and valid! It can be a lot of work. Someone else will handle it
"But I'm annoyed that they would try to claim to be part of/be interested in my community without knowing all the details that I know after being in it for months/years/decades, they're dumb, they're posers, they're--"
OK. Then don't engage with them, if it's that bad. Maybe someone else will come around and tell them the history, maybe they'll pick it up on their own, maybe they'll just enjoy the fashion elements for awhile.
"But they shouldn't claim to be part of the -punk community if they don't know the--"
I feel like we have a few options here. People can either talk to them, share the history, share the values, share the praxis. Or they can just chase off anyone who even thinks about dipping a toe in their community, and then wonder why it's dying off later down the line.
I dunno, maybe I'm too naive and patient or whatever. But if people are entering your -punk spaces without knowing The Rundown of what you feel they need to know, maybe being nice about it and informing people instead of immediately assuming stupidity and malicious intent could help you make a new friend. Even the loudest voices in a space had to learn from somewhere, and not everyone has the luxury of being in the space as the History was Happening--whether it's an age thing or a not being aware of the space thing. Or maybe I just don't see what the big deal is behind people hating people who like the aesthetic of something and don't know the behind the scenes history about it yet.
Because I believe in the word 'yet.' No one comes into this world knowing everything about everything, and we're all constantly learning new things. I'm not gonna degrade someone and call them a poser for not knowing what I know. Because if it were me, interested in a scene but getting chased out and called a poser? I wouldn't hit the books and study up, I'd go 'that fuckin sucks, those people sucked' and then avoid anyone and anything having to do with it.
So chase people off and call them posers if you want. But if your community starts dwindling, don't be fucking shocked.
#out of queue#ani rambles#punks and posers#i cant even call this a 4am hot take because its 7pm but like#idk i keep seeing posts about like 'how DARE people think I bought my punk clothes how DARE they not know the how-tos and DIYs'#or 'ugh people only care about the ~aesthetics~ of my movement if you don't know shit get out of here' and like#maybe I'm just a shy ass introverted nerd whos scared of social rejection! but I avoid that shit like the plague#so if someone were to reject me based on not knowing about something I'd never even heard about? something i was JUST getting into?#there's a high chance I'd just scram and never look back. i don't wanna be the one who causes that emotion in someone else#granted this is coming from someone who STILL doesn't know how to make her own patches or worked up the courage to do direct action praxis#outside of offering neighbors to my tomatoes and trying to talk to people about what I'm passionate about#but still imo unless someone's a malicious intentional bad actor i dont see the point in scaring newbies off#thats how movements die imo#i know this is my solarpunk blog but its not a solarpunk specific thing#i think the main post that inspired this was about store-bought versus self-made spiked leather jackets#which honestly just feels petty to me but who knows.#might delete later
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Once landed, Logan and Wade were gearing up. There was already an entire search party here, dogs, squad, all of them talking, some parts of the woods taped off. It made Logan's hair raise.
"What's wrong? Hank said you did good by killing that kid." Wade tells him, his snow suit bright red, boots, gloves, and some markings black.
"I didn't kill that kid. That's apprently the problem..." he grumbles, his breath looking just as thick as his cigar smoke. He gave a small shake, not used to the blizzard feeling over his nose again. He was retired. Too old for this shit..
"I fucked up, Wade..."
"What do you mean? You smelled something bad so you attacked it. That's 10 out of 10 wolverine-ing right there. If theyre too stupid to see it, thats their problem." He mutters, stopping in his tracks, Noticing the way Logan had stopped in his, death glaring.
"You found Scotty didn't you?" He looks to where Logans daggers are going. "Yup. You did. Well for now lets ignore him and focus on the little girl. And then after we can beat him to a bloody pulp until he apologizes to you."
Logan growls, trudging forward through the snow towards him.
"Hey?? Hello? Earth to Logan?..... peanut?.... Uugghh god you're so fucking stubborn.." He groans, complaining as he follows suit. "Didnt you hear anything I just said? Girl- then kick ass. There's a checklist!"
Logan couldn't hear his husband complaining, beelining for that asshole, grabbing him by the throat and slamming him against a rangers truck. "Give me one damn good reason you drug my ass out here on a PLANE!" He snarls at him, popping the other hands claws out.
"Wolverine! That's enough!" A woman calls, before Scott could even threaten him back.
Turning his head, Logan glared, about to bark a 'What!?' Before seeing her. Standing there, was Ororo, still as beautiful as ever, wrinkles and all. She still was rocking that funky hair cut and she was still (in the snow) wearing those killer boots.
And she. Looked. PISSED.
"Ooh snap- youre in trouble now." Wade mutters, scooting out of frame.
"What do you think you're doing?"
"He-" He tries to explain, but mama bear Ro wasn't having it.
"Ah ah! I don't want to hear it! Let him go."
"But-"
"Now. Logan." Her arms cross, turning to give him that LOOK. She's always had that look. The kind that made unruely little kids behave.. and apprently the Wolverine... even in this old age.
Growling, he lets go of Scott, who drimatically coughs. "What is wrong with you!??"
"You sent a plane on purpose! And-!"
"I said ENOUGH!" Thunder cracks out of nowhere, the sky perfectly clear until now, lightning sparking in the clouds.
The two boys look at her, hell, Even Wade sits down. Right there in the snow. Criss cross apple sauce. ".. Yes ma'am.." he whispers out of instinct.
She gives Wade a look of being pleased with his unquestioned obedience, letting him sigh of relief. "You two. I am TIRED. Of this. Fed up! It has been almost 30 years and you two are STILL having such petty debates! There is a child MISSING and you two rather fight about who has the bigger penis!"
Wade coughs. "Logan- " Only to be shot an instant death glare. "Sorry ma'am, but it's true your honor." He salutes, sitting up straight as Ro rolls her eyes, stepping forward.
"Well do it sometime else!! Because so the godess help you, if this little girl doesn't survive? You will be sorry. Do I make myself clear?"
".. Crystal." Scott says, glaring at logan from the side of his visor, rubbing his neck a bit drimatically.
"Logan?" Her brow raised, tilting her head towards him.
"....Fine! But just know that if she dies... It's his fault." He growls, going quiet as he puts the claws away, crossing his arms.
"Good. Now get to work. I'm keeping it as clear as possible, but it takes a lot of power, so hurry up. We're already past the 48-hour mark..." She says this with a sense of melancholic bite as she turned, her cape flowing over as she walked away.
For a moment the boys were silent, only glaring into each others souls, eyes dark with dislike for one another to th very core.
"....soooo... you guys gonna kiss or what?" Wade asks, being shot two more death glares, making him put his hands up. "Fine fine! Lets go find the kid...sheesh.." Standing, he begins to walk off, towards the officers to see if they had anything for Logan to sniff.
Standing there, tense and still, Logan glared needles into him. If he stared any harder he hoped Scott would burst into flames.
"Logan! Come on!" Wade calls as Logan ignores him.
"... Better get going.... your husband is calling." Scott says, but the tone in his voice implied that Logan was the wife, enforcing a negitive gender association that only pissed Logan off anymore.
Slowly starting to walk off, Logan paused. "Better run along, Slim... Daddys calling... Oh wait.."
He walks away, leaving Scott to grit his teeth, tightening his fist into a ball..
Thinking about old Worst Wolverine being called by each of the X men individually after they have a falling out because Logan injured a child very badly to the point the only reason they didn't die is because another classmates healing abilities all while he just... walked away.
Well- ran.. away... leaving a child to die. He's tried to explain thousands of times that he blacked out, that he didn't remember doing any of this. He tries to say that maybe it was someone else, that mystique did this shit all the time in his universe.
"Yeah, well!? This isn't your universe! Because the REAL Logan would never do this.." Scott screams at him as Logan leaves the Mansion for the last time. He doesn't come back. He didn't even get to tell his Xkits goodbye. It got to the point where Laura dropped out, taking Gabby with her, wanting nothing to do with the school anymore.
So now, here he is. In Maine, an old fisherman, part-time hunter, and the only people he lets around him have healing factors.
He lives with Wade, who still- by the way- doesn't have any grey hairs (maybe because hes bald but- yk)
One night, while Logan is out, making himself feel useful by feeding the small town they're in, providing for more poor families, feeding their children's hungry mouths and asking nothing in return but respect. (It gets to the point that the children cheer when they see Logan, wanting to hug him, but he growls at them to get off, too afraid of hurting them) Wade finally awnsers the ringing phone.
"What." There's vemon in his tone, but soon his eyes widden, and he frowns.
Walking outside he stands there a moment, knowing Logan can hear him.
He ignores him, looking at the fish, litsening, his breathing slowing as he skewers some with his claws. Its not exactly spear fishing but- close.
"What?" His voice is almost annoyed, as if knowing what his long time Husband was about to ask him.
"Logan.."
"No."
"Logan-"
He shakes his head. "Don't care."
"...She's missing."
He pauses, turning after scraping the dead fish into a bucket. "Who's missing?"
"There's a little girl missing."
"So?"
"Logan!"
"I'm not helping them, Wade. That's final." He growls.
For a moment, Wade frowns, but he didn't learn to obey thy husband like the bible said.
He never did.
"Logan, there's a 6 year old out there. All alone. Cold. Probably going to be eaten by wolves!" He shouts from the back porch, knowing his place enough to stay here and not come near his fish. Even after all these years, Logan was still finicky over his food. "And all because some old fart won't help her!"
The silence thickened as Logan thought about it, the hero side of his brain yelling 'We'll find her!' And the hurt old part of him saying 'That's not my buisness.'
".. You find her then." He compromises.
"I can't! And if anyone knows those Canadian woods, it's you! You said you knew those forests like the back of your hand!" Wade protests. "If I could smell someone through miles of freezing snow, I would. But I can't. So here I am, asking The Wolverine to go do what he does best."
He grunts, glaring. "And that is?"
"Helping a little girl get back to her mommy..." Wade says, knowing that he was sold. He knew he was sold the moment he told him to do it himself. "She doesn't have much time, Logan." He sighs, putting a cherry on top.
The greyed man huffed, grumbling under his breath for a moment. "Who will stay here with the dog?"
"Gabby can! She loves gabs." Gott'em.
"What about Laura? Why can't she find her?"
Shit.
"Logan, Laura has barley been in those woods. You've lived in them for years. So. What will it be. Pull up your panties and go save a little girls life? Or do it anyway when our baby girl gets lost too?"
Logan scoffs, disappointed. "..She wouldn't get lost.."
"She would if the scent kept being blown away.."
Wade adds, seeing the 'god damn it, he's right.' look on the old mans brow.
He lets out a large sigh. "...I don't want any help."
"Oh well too fucking bad bucko, I'm gonna go pack my snow suit!"
"No! I mean... I don’t want any help from THEM.."
"No promises. I'm not letting poor Susie die just because you have a grudge. Now put your fish in the freezer and lets go! They're coming to pick us up-"
"I ain't flying!!" Logan snarls, watching as his lover ran off, having a deep feeling that he would be in the air shortly..
#search and rescue#find her au#storm#ororo munroe#scott summers#old man logan#old man wade#logan wolverine#deadpool and wolverine#poolverine#logan howlett#wade wilson#deadpool#wolverine#deadpool 3#deadclaws#charles xavier#mentioned
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I am exhausted, good heavens.
#hey watch this neat trick I can do [cries]#love that for me#BUT#BUT- the actual EFFORT I put these days to not make a suicide jokes is *chefs kiss* phenomenal#actively shitting bricks as I physically have to stop myself from saying I want a car to hit me for the 50th time that day#I am not progressing any more than I am downgressing or whatever the opposite word is. but girlies#and boysies and peepsies#my lipgloss is popping and my eyebags are gucci- and so I shall prevail#MAN this tiredness is BONE DEEP man- it's like it's engraved into my goddamn clavicles#sorry that was like the only bone name I could remember- I don't even know what a clavicle is#anyways- I need to fall asleep forever and never wake up. But not in like a dying way#I just need to stop waking up tired and being tired and going to sleep tired and living tired like GIRL#WTF AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WHEN SLEEP STOPS SLEEPING#I JUST SLEPT 10 HOURS HOW ARE YOU STILL TIRED#I am so tired that i stopped liking shit- like that SUCKS my dudes#I sometimes Don't Like art now and that is WILD to me because that was lowkey the One Thing that got me going#I used to actually LIKE english class! and reading Shakespear and shit!!!! and history class!! Now I don't!! Where did the spark go??????#Now everything feels like a chooooooore and it sucks major dick#and my graaaades are slipping because I stopped giving a damn but I NEED. TO. GIVE. A. DAMN#because those are like highkey lowkey and every-other-key my grades and I need them to go into uni so I don't die <333#I need to spite little mini me who said I wasn't going to live past 13 because BITCH- guess how old I'm turning next week????????#THAT'S RIGHT- 17 YEARS OLD- FUCK YEAH BABY I'M STILL NOT DEAD#SUCK MY BIG ASS SHLONG MINI-ME#and then I have a big biology exam the day after so- funnnnn!!#anywho- should I tag this as vent? this probably counts as vent right? like among us? impostor and shit?#sorry I think my brain is actively rotting out of my ears right now#vent post#personal vent#tw vent#tw sui talk
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My homunculus
Hashtag my homunculus
#diy plush#i think i was overcomplicating the bodies. like. most basic plush body shape is fine. who gives a shit#also i am maybe regretting the felt for the head... you can see the wear on her already.#alfonse is holding up really well bc his felt was thicker. HUGE pain in the ass to work with#but it did end up making him super sturdy!#i have been thinking of going back and fixing sharena's head (you can see it's misshapen too)#but like. i actually have no idea where i'd start w that. aside from adjusting the shape beneath the head#but i have no idea how i'd fix the issue of her material without like. having to re-do her completely.#at their core these two really are fuck around and find out plushies. i'm learning the importance#of what material to pick and for what purpose.#unfortunately i am gonna do something different for alfonse's body too. the initial one i made#while super cute and i still love the back stitching. i need to readjust proportions#esp if i'm gonna be layering materials for clothes. ESP on this small of a scale.#i have a test run body on alfonse rn that i'm not entirely sold on either. proportions are right#but the craftsmenship is shoddy on it. so. split on even showing it.#also i did succumb to cheating w a sewing machine. which! i need more practice w anyway.#esp if i want to make bigger plushies in the future actually. so. at this point i was just avoiding it#also don't mind the stray pages there LMFAOO one is a comic i already posted and was reffing#for other comics i've been doing. really cool i have like. a backlog of stuff i can ref of my own work actually#i am soooooo obsessed w paneling and placement... nobody talks about paneling and placement......#sharena
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Today was an absolute dumpster fire at home. I can't wait for my roommate's ex to move out after what happened today holy shit...
I don't have many people on my shit list, but after today, she's definitely on there. The audacity of her saying some of the shit she said to me-
I wish I could go back to NYC and stay with my parents for a month or two and visit homies... but I don't want to give her that power.
#rii vents#I'm beyond frustrated#today was absolute dogwater#can't wait for this stupid bitch to move out#I'm tired of walking on eggshells and not having the space to adult#then she had the audacity to try and apologize to me after everything she said today#ON TOP of making cutting and snide remarks not even 5 mins before apologizing-#I'm normally not that assertive but I told her ass “I don't think you're actually sorry”#So fucking tired of this dumb bitch#everyone who's aware of the situation even agreed that it was fucking bully and violent behavior#I know I'm no saint but talk to me again like that and tell me that I'm self-centered and that I don't care about you#I'll make sure you know what me not caring about someone looks like#cuz that shit is NOT pretty#and blaming me for the reason you and my roommate broke up and you wanting to move out??? alright#holy fuck I'm so sorry I'm just so fucking pissed#there has been NO reprieve today#I just wanna chill and play ZZZ and stop being angry for 10 minutes. please-
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Alright this is clearly about us, the most anti psych pro endo on this site. Let's go through this dumbfuck's post who decided to post in the endo safe tag to "warn endogenics" while also insulting them in the first paragraph.
"Being anti-psych and talking about that online is not okay" because insane people need to shut the fuck up about the psych abuse they survived! they're clearly in the wrong, after all I was totally fine after being in the psych ward. Wait what do you mean psych torture?
alright so the heart of anti psychiatry is to uplift psych abuse survivors and to demedicalize divergencies of the human mind that are deemed as "abnormal and disordered" when it tends to be a natural reaction to societal oppression and stress. What defines normal? Such a weird line, and guess what, it's white determined! After all, white patients get diagnosed with adhd while black patients get diagnosed with oppositional defiance disorder. because fighting back against authority is wrong!!! they must be insane, send them to the fucking priso- i mean- psych ward where they will be isolated from society because we don't want to see those crazy people on our streets!
god
get your head out of your ass
"let me use a personal anecdote" let me use mine! my mother is a cop, she's been through therapy herself. the prison she worked at was also a partial psych ward. A few of her jobs was to forcefully strip psychotic people down and force them into a white room where they are constantly kept watch by police officers to make sure they don't hurt themselves. female cops would rape patients with their finger to make sure they didn't have kill yourself drugs and knives inside their vagina.
you think they came out healed and fixed? like you?
my mom would beat me btw for shit like not standing for the flag, and she tend to love the idea of psych wards and reformation
oh not a good enough anecdote because it was a half prison? my psych ward did the same thing, and it had fun shock "therapy" too and drugs that damage your brain.
and all this shit wasn't just nurses being evil, it's fucking psychiatric protocol.
if you are any way out of the norm, you're broken and must be cured!!! the cure is this. the cure is this.
"i came out healed" aw congrats, good thing you didn't try and say no to taking your meds! they might have had to try and tranquilize you and force it down your throat just like at every single fucking psych ward
"oh we have to break the cycle of violence!" hey and I wonder where this cycle comes from, surely not environmental factors, must be something sick with these people right.
"be like me and break the cycle of violence" the violence you throw to endogenic systems? what a joke
also the funniest part is you clearly don't know shit about anti psychiatry because well
our hate focuses on psychiatrist..not therapist. therapist do tend to be cops waiting to snitch you out and ward you tho </3
To all the young people seeing this
if you were involuntarily warded, i'm sorry you went through that. it wasn't right, don't let them gaslight you into thinking your isolation was a must. you survived
i see anti-psych getting thrown around a lot in endogenic spaces.
I get it. You don't actually have the disorder you wish you had and professionals tell you this. So, you're anti-psych. But.
Being Anti-Psych and perpetuating that online is Not Okay.
You see there's this thing called generational trauma, and that at its core usually is a scenario where someone has trauma and mental health issues and instead of going to therapy, they have children. And then the cycle just continues and continues.
The only way to break this cycle is therapy, and because generational trauma THRIVES on anti-psych mentalities, many of the people who want to break the cycle struggle.
To give a personal anecdote, my mother hates therapy - she has never been to therapy and she will never. she also questions anyone who seeks out therapy (including myself) and tries to convince them they are better off without it. my mother also has extensive trauma and mental health issues and as a result my mother has been one of my main abusers throughout my life.
Therapy is NOT always easy or straightforward I GET IT
there is really good therapists, but there still is therapists that aren't good. by the time i realized that i needed a proper therapist i had gone through extensive trauma and my therapist was severely under qualified to deal with me and ended up crying in front of me after a particular rough session.
i was put off from therapy for a really long while after that and probably would have called myself "anti-psych"
but then my mental health issues got so bad i ended up in a psych ward and i was forced to have a therapist. and through her, i have healed SO incredibly much. i can see now how incredibly important therapy is to individuals with trauma but also to the loved ones of those with trauma. i can see how therapy really does stop the cycle of generational trauma and abuse.
Encouraging others online to be anti-psych especially in a space with vulnerable young people with trauma is inexcusable.
it is so fucking harmful and i hate you all who do it i hate you SO FUCKING MUCH
#tw psychiatry#tw rape#tw suicide#tw psych ward#tw psych abuse#tw syscourse#syscourse#tw anti endo#anti psych#anti psychiatry
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me: writes deimos because he's a basicass human bitch also me: ah man i should bring back my qunari boy i miss him too
#ooc.#don't mind me. i got to orzammar and now i'm talking religion with elisa#and how misunderstood the qun/qunari are and how they're portrayed is actually super offensive because it's just a literal bunch of-#stereotypes because of course any and all religion is supposed to be mindless and annoying and/or aggressive and monstrous.#shoves my foot up gaider's ass.#but i digress. vashoth and qunari are so great. their designs are gorgeous.#but back to orzammar#rishi sunak is harrowmont and bhelen is margaret thatcher and thats the only way i can make this decision between choosing who helps#annoying that you can't just let them decide garbage politics among themselves because you're meant to be neutral as a GREY WARDEN#there's a blight to be fought let hawke and inquisitor help you with the politics. let warden just stop the blight bc the last time shit#happened maric had to bail them out
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the solution to the "are you normal about X people who turn out to be Y" debate is stop fucking assuming things about people
You wanna know what pronouns to use for an individual? Ask them.
As a general rule, don't make jokes about the identity you perceive of someone. Know your audience
How is that hard? Why do we all think ourselves such experts on the lives of other people??????
#gopher rambles#rant#listen. I know assumptions are something you can't always control having. But you can control how you treat them and talk about them#that masc presenting person likes “girly things”?#well you can't know for sure if they're an egg who will come out as transfem in a few years or a stealth transmasc who likes stuff they gre#up with (or maybe never got a chance to properly enjoy!) or a gnc cisguy or transnuetral or ANYTHING#Who fucking died and made you the omnipotent godking? And if you arent why the hell do you think you know these things for sure????#Listen. Im not immune to having assumptions about people. I've been in plenty of situations irl where I think “that person might be trans”#but I don't just. Go buckwild with it? I either wait for them to volunteer that information or I go “hey how should I refer to you”#its not hard oh my god#regardless I'm personally never going to win. Genderless is not the assumption anyone will ever make about me and I can barely get folks to#call me a they/them let alone he/him. I'm not bothered by she/her but I sure would like if folks stopped fuckin assuming shit#stop shoving people into boxes before I shove your ass off a fuggin cliff
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"I did steal from a lot of them.... but some of them I didn't even fuck and there were a lot of people there I didn't recognize at all. I dunno if I was just too fucked up when I met them to remember or if they were just random assholes coming to party with a celebrity, but I swear I'm not that fuckin' bad...." Blitz was a fuckboy, he couldn't deny that, but most of his sexual history had occurred out of necessity rather than desire. Sex was the most valuable currency he had, but that wasn't something he was about to get into right now with Fizz. He was already pathetic enough as it was.
As the other imp went into his own explanation, Blitz kept quiet, frowning at him but not interrupting, despite how badly he wanted to when it felt like he was being accused of something. Of what, he didn't know, but something.
"You knew he asked for that crystal?" He asked softly, fingers tightening slightly around the mug in his hand. "Look, you don't–– you're fuckin' simplifying shit too much, Fizz. I didn't just feel like a hooker, I was one. That was the whole fucking deal! I fuck him one night a month and he lets me use his book. That's it. He never said shit to me about relationships or feelings until that night. I even––" There was a pause and Blitz took in a deep breath then let it out in a huff. "That night we were at Ozzie's when the two of you fuckin' roasted us and he looked so fucking embarrassed to be with me, I drove him home and he tried to get me to come inside. After I said I wasn't gonna fuck him he asked to fuckin' watch a movie and cuddle, like we've ever done that kind of bullshit before." They had, on occasion, but it was always after sex and that was beside the point anyway! "I told him not to pretend what we had was more than him wanting me to fuck him and he just said 'okay'. He didn't try to deny, it didn't try to tell me I was wrong, nothing! If he really had fuckin' feelings, why the fuck wouldn't he say something then?"
The coffee in Blitz's hand began to slosh a little precariously as he got more animated while he spoke, but when a drop splashed out on onto his hand, he seemed to recognize this and took another sip before setting it aside again, next to his other cup of coffee. "By the time I ran into you, it had been fucking months of him telling me not to come over and sending confusing as shit texts and just being weird. He uses so many fucking words and I don't know what half of them mean, Fizz. So yeah, you were fucking right, but what the hell was I supposed to think when all he did was make me feel like I fucked up and he didn't actually want me anymore? Maybe trying to convince myself all he wanted was my dick was just my way of trying to protect myself from something like this." He paused, blinking in surprise as he realized what he'd just said and how fucking.... honest it actually was.
"Look, I.... I was convinced that I fucked everything up that night 'cause he got so weird after and then..... then when he was kidnapped I wasn't there to help him and he got hurt so bad–– he's still fuckin' mad at me for that–– so I already had it in my head that he was getting bored of me and wanted to end the deal so when the first thing he did when I showed up was ask for his magic book back forever? I panicked! I thought he was taking away my whole fucking business. That Moxxie and Millie would leave me as soon as I couldn't pay them anymore and me and Loony would end up on the street–– if she didn't just leave me too. I was fucking crying, begging him not to take it when she just shoves that crystal in my face and keeps talking like I wasn't about to have a whole fucking breakdown right in front of him. I barely understood half of what he said after that and I fucked up thinking he was joking but he didn't give me a fucking chance to think after I realized he was serious, he just started walking away and then threw me out on my ass when I followed!" Honestly, over a month later, Blitz was still reeling from that whole fucked up night and the day that followed. How it all got so messy, he had no idea, but it couldn't all be his own fault, right?
"And you're right, I didn't go after him when that asshole dragged him away.... but he made it pretty fucking clear he didn't want me there and.... Verosika stopped me from feeding that asshole his teeth before I could even try." He sighed and scrubbed a hand down his face as he thought back to that night, that fucking kiss that was seared into his brain. "It doesn't matter now anyway.... he's done with me. He sang a whole fucking song about what a heartless piece of shit I am at that stupid party, he clearly doesn't want me anymore. I don't think he really wanted me in the first place, just someone...."
"You were a fuckboy. Alright. You pissed them off, but you didn't -destory their lifes-. Half of those are just mad for not having found a better dick than yours yet." he grinned in another attempt to cheer him up... and because he always had a hard time putting a filter to his words.
They weren't that different in that regard.
However, when he started rabling about his feathery prince he fell silent again. For once to just let Blitz get it out and.. because he had a real hard time following this trail of rapidily fired thoughts.
"Okay, baby lizard, take a breath, will you?" he then said and scratched his forehead.
"Sooo~ Let me try to make sense out of all that. Give me a second." the jester warned him, trying to remember what Bitz had told him in that warehouse as well.
"I have no idea if you wanna hear that, but maybe someone needs to give you the talk.
You told me he cares about you, tries to stay in contact ... laughs about your jokes - and that means a lot -. And yet you tried your best to make yourself believe he's just a pretentious prick out for your dick. I got that right, right?"
Fizz just tried to check if he got it right up to this point.
"Then he comes over here, asking Ozzie for a crystal so you dumbass don't need to feel like a fucking hooker anymore when being with him." he continued, poking at Blitz's forehead.
"Ozz says no, because he doesn't want to get involved in helping out someone I hate. You saved me from that little hostage situation we had going on, and I tell my man it's fine to help you two idiots finally become an item as well. We'd have had the cutest double dates for fucks sake." he paused and took a very deep breath.
"I really thought that plan the slenderowl had was fool proofed, and now you're telling this story?!
You're not shitty or worthless or so easy to hate. You are just a fucking idiot sometimes!
I assume you didn't go up to that other guy telling him to get his hands off of your bird?" he assumed and crossed his arms in front of his chest.
"Boy, what do I do with yoooou~?" Fizz really couldn't believe the level of clumsiness his friend was showing off when it came to feelings instead of popping heads.
"You want him? Fight for him!"
#queenxclussy#lmao he's valid#but tbf stolas fumbled just as hard as blitz did#it's such a messy situation haha#also this got long haha
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