#as a touch starved person myself | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

harrier-du-blog · 2 years ago

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There are so many good things about the cliff scene, and I love everything about it, but the thing that really REALLY gets me every time is the way that they cling to each other. Will’s hand, clenching the shoulder of Hannibal’s shirt, pulling him closer, putting his head on Hannibal’s chest. Hannibal, looking up as if he’s never felt anything so sweet in his life before resting his head against Will’s, tangling his fingers in Will’s shirt at his side. Hannibal rubbing his cheek against Will’s hair. The way Hannibal looks when Will loops his arm around the back of his neck. Everything about it is incredibly tender and it GETS me

#i just cannot think about it anymore without dying a little bit each time #as a touch starved person myself #the way they hold each other for those few seconds feels so tender #when will it be my turn :/#Hannibal #Hannibal Lecter #NBC Hannibal #Will Graham #Hannigram #cliff scene #Hannibal text post #it's really only my thoughts on it #nothing too special or bonkers here

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mayxo-hxh · 10 months ago

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Im about to get controversial.

Out of chrollo, illumi and hisoka, hisoka is canonically the least likely to flirt to get anything he wants, if at all.

A lot of people think he's a natural flirt but I fear I couldn't have disagreed more. He only "flirted" a single time and that was solely to piss off machi, knowing she'd never agree. Hot take? He would've never asked if he knew she'd agree.

Also, bro's the biggest humanphobe in the anime. He keeps his distance from everyone. The only human physical contact he ever made was through fighting people. (If you're a person thats interested in seeing more evidence, I have an entire long thread about it on twitter that I do plan on posting here soon)

so u cannot give me 1 reason for hisoka to flirt with someone at a random bar but chrollo and illumi? i can think of a few.

chrollo, he already canonically flirts to get what he wants. straight up goes on dates gets a suit and shit. he has no reputation among the general public that hes concerned of that isnt the spider. Illumi? He's a manipulator. I HIGHLY doubt he never flirted to get something in his life from people who are too easy to win over. He's someone that wouldn't care what people think of him. He's also anonymous. People have no idea who tf he is anyways. If it affected the zoldyck reputation? Thats a different story.

Hisoka? he would fucking NEVER. Him specifically? HE HAS A REPUTATION. And whats that reputation? That hes an absolute disgusting freak that no one should dare to approach. He kills people. He fights live and makes sure the audience is always disgusted and weirded out by his actions and performances. You look at him and you should immediately look away and pray he hasn't seen you.

So riddle me this. If his entire shtick is making sure everyones afraid of him and avoids him, then why the hell would he get himself a reputation that makes him approachable????

Why would he get himself a reputation that makes you, as a person who only ever heard of him picking people up, want to approach him.

On top of that, I just.. don't see him picking random people up..??? random weaklings that dont even know nen????? he literally treats them like trash that inconveniences his time. You're saying he'd EVER give them the privilege of sleeping with him???

And then you'd say, oh so he'd sleep with strong people! HERES THE THING. Why would he sleep with them..... when he can fight them. Him getting off from fighting comes NOWHERE to actual sex. What people don't understand is that he gets off to killing people and seeing them crumble in front of him when they realize theyre going to die. Torturing people to death. What's... that got to do with like. yknow. actual sex bro 😭😭😭😭😭😭

this turned into a huge rant probably but do you know how genuinely depressing it is seeing a unique character like hisoka that gains lust through FIGHTING and KILLING reduced to. sex addict in fics. Like. be so fucking serious right now. He called himself a FIGHT ADDICT in the manga. Can I see more of him actually spending his time killing and fighting people instead of whatever the hell bros doing with a random npc.

Anyways this is also why I hc him as asexual/demisexual NEXTTTT

#When a fic is so good but they make a hisoka a sex god instead of a murderer. like dear god. Ya Allah. Mercy on me.#can i please get more fics where he absolutely fucking murders people in deranged ways like god (Togashi) intended instead of....#(checks notes) .....sex???#sorry to me this is 1 fanon characterization that i just gag from i cannot physically stomach that shit anymore.#also the way he never touched a single human and is not a touchy person yet the musical made disgustingly touchy with everyone including go #i saw red when i saw that one scene.#thats not fucking hisoka morow thats hekosa pedoro #if togashi wanted him to sleep around he would've so simply and easily made him mention that. Like even leorio said he jacks off.#yet togashi didnt. because HE DOESNT.#HISOKA GET BEHIND ME #anyways asexual hisoka morow canon goodnight everyone #also trans hisoka can we get a little more content of that i know its completely unrelated but pls im starving #i would put the “ill do it myself meme” WHICH I DO I HAVE A DEMI HISOILLU FIC but im so slow at writing fics sobs and throws up #hisoillu #hisoka x illumi #illumi #illumi zoldyck #hisoka #hisoka morow #chrollo #chrollo lucilfer #hxh #hunter x hunter #my post #my analysis

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rainswept · 8 months ago

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therapy (alternate title: talking about white boy for 50 minutes straight)

#my therapist proposed the idea that i may be asexual.#like thanks i know. but also thanks for validating me because i still feel like a late bloomer sometimes #the question of the ages: am i an ace lesbian or am i just afraid of men? (or am i aro too)#because i can only imagine myself feeling comfortable romantically around women #but attraction isn’t a factor either way…#and i only feel comfortable with women in general .#touch starved hopeless romantic boy meets touch repulsed full of platonic love and nothing else girl. they both die #THIS IS WHY I THOUGHT I WAS TRANS TOO i felt so ill being in a female body but that was not because #i was trans it was because i felt sexualized and i wanted to be seen as a person before a body #and i felt like if i was a boy that would be the case #but i never felt any better viewing myself that way. i felt worse.#thanks misogyny 👍👍👍#anyway i love you trans people you are so cool it was just not me do not take this the wrong way #🙏🙏🙏#i will just be unlabeled and only date girls. forever #you will never catch me with a cishet dude SORRYYYY 🤞🤞🤞#i like fictional men and that is IT the moment i imagine them with an actual face i get disgusted #whateverrrr #i will stay in my little fictional bubble #pink haired foxian man hmu

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mysterious-corpse · 9 months ago

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so fucking upset. i looked up what's considered concerning weight loss and got a statistic. i looked up the same question but specified teens and i got a bunch of articles about how to lose weight. what the fuck

#tw weight loss #? idk if that tags necessary but better safe than sorry #past this point there is discussion of ARFID and stuff #LMFAO also ive had a medium to mild case of ARFID my entire life and no one noticed past concern for my pickiness #i say medium to mild because ive gotten better recently #i even ate half a bowl of the noodles i dont like the other day. AND they had been touched by shrimp & cabbage juice & soft peanuts #i mean i did drown them in soy sauce first and got nauseous thinking about it the rest of the day. but progress #i mean. im the type of person to skip a meal or barely eat because i dont like the food available or its too loud where i am #my adhd impacts it too like sometimes ill forget to eat or wont be able to make anything that day #but like goddamn. a growing child should be gaining weight. 'we should keep an eye on that' every single time and then no action #you know maybe thats part of why my body hurts sometimes and feels weird and shaky other times #its hard to tell based on how bony i am or whatever because i also naturally am a string bean and im not. like. starving myself #i get the same comments about how i should eat more and how im so skinny when im healthy and when im not #or i used to. people are generally less intrusive now that im older #gosh i need to flex my metaphorical brain muscles more i put way too much thought into the wording of this

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killjoy-prince · 2 months ago

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today was a do nothing day for me huh

#prince's talk tag #and by today i mean sunday bc its now monday where i am #feel free to ignore my ramblings that go on from this tag onwards #i guess i was in a clingy mood? or like i really wanted to hug someone? maybe the fact that im touch starved was acting up within me?#whatever it was i dont have anyone i could hug for a good amount of time let alone cuddle #so instead i hugged a pillow which isnt a person but it was better than nothing #but by doing that my body refused to leave the bed and just wanted to stay put clutching the pillow #and if i wasnt fully hugging it id get like antsy or something and i had to readjust until i was fully hugging it?#like id be on my phone and i had to fix myself when i stopped fully hugging the pillow bc then my mind was screaming at me #to hug the pillow better #like what??? what the heck is up with me lolol #once i tried to stop and get up but my body hated the loss and grabbed the pillow again and i went right back down on the bed #and it wasnt even like i felt any different like i didnt feel down or happy i was neutral #expect i had to be fully hugging this pillow at all times #maybe i just need sleep. i dont have the best sleep schedule #but yea sorry about that but uhhh if you read all that thanks for reading

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itsalwaysdark · 6 months ago

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i just fucking hate having ptsd all of it. so many stupid fucking things send me into fucking hysterics it sucks and i hate it and i dont want itttt anymore i dont want it.

#i literally like. i didnt tell u guys bc it was embarassing #but i had to hype myself up to eat a fucking orange the other day. like i was shaking and crying and i nearly threw up.#bc it fucking reminded me of All that and also bc its one of the only foods i got to eat outside ofm my one meal a day #while i was living there. bc my coworker gave me oranges sometimes #and one time she gave me a whole bag of cuties which was wonderful of her i miss her #but i pretty much like. bc during m-f i had a meal at work #and i could get something from the vending machine if i needed to #but on the weekends i had to either order food (which would always make me insanely nauseous bc of. the money stuff. yk) or just eat #what i had in my room bc i couldnt use the kitchen bc the roommates would be mad at me #and they might kick me out and id be actually fucked. its so crazy looking back that i genuinely the entire time i fucking lived there even #b4 the breakup the entire time i was in terror that theyd evict me. bc i wouldnt have been able to do anything abt it #i mean thats why i didnt like. leave him after he . and stuff. both bc i thought i didnt deserve anything better and bc i was terrified #theyd evict me and i wouldnt have any way to get home. it was terrifying #but ya. so for a couple weeks i rationed myself One orange per day lol. and on weekends that was all i was able to eat rly #idk. i hate ptsd. basicalllyyyy is the gist of ittt. and i keep thinking abt random fucking things they did to me #me when they jokingly tell me to starve myself when i literally have a fucking eating disorder. and when i told The Only Person i knew in #that fucking house abt it he told me i was being dramatic and i was just being greedy and etc. and then later when i got off work today i #saw on their fucking whiteboard in the kitchen i wasnt supposed to use Eat more <3 as one of their goals. while i went to sit in the garage #for the weekend eating a single fucking orange a day. god #idk. ive gotten better with eating i still have the scale but i ws able to go months without using it until the medical call the other week #and i havent used it since but. everytime i think abt all that itmakes me want to go back to it. i cant tho everyone would notice #i do still eat a wholee lot less than i did b4 washington but idk. idont remember if i even ate today i probably should but i dont feel #hungry but i cant even fucking trust that bc i Starved myself for so fucking long im too good at ignoring hunger. and i never was super in #touch with my body but im constantly numb now. idk.#ed ment #a2t #i ws gonna say more but it ws tmi + tag limit anyway. its just insane that my fucking ed wouldnt have happened if it werent for him and it #graduated i wouldnt have been isolatedinever wouldve had an ed. like 50% of my ptsd would be Gone if i just hadnt joined that discord. lol

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plumpmermaid · 7 months ago

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I want to feel like a priority for someone

I want someone to think I'm attractive

I want someone to ask me how my day was

I want to touch another person besides the occasional friend hug I get every couple of weeks

I've never had an easy time finding dates. It got even harder after my sarcoidosis spots started to develop. Now I'm a wreck with PTSD and I can't drive.

I want to feel lovable again

#whining again #last person i dated never called me pretty or anything else #I miss having someone help me through the rough days #tired of always working myself #touch starved

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eros-ghoulette · 7 months ago

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I need cuddles. I fucking need them

#and not because I'm touch starved #<well also bc of that #but because i feel like the world is crackling beneath my feet and i can do nothing about it #and i don't wanna talk about it #i need it because i feel like I'm too much too handle for everyone #because i am annoying and people tell me that #because i have interest people tell me are strange #because I'm not worth the try #because no matter what. I'll always love more than the person i love #because I'll never be loved on the way i need it #and because i need someone to trust. to trust with all i have #someone besides the one person i have. bc she lives to far away #i need someone to tell me I'm just being silly. that all those people love me #but there is no one to tell me that in the face #and it hurts. it hurts so fucking much.#it hurts in the way i tear up every time i think about it #it hurts in the way i start to doubt it's only social anxiety #and I'm so scared #and tired #and please. just PLEASE #someone cuddle me #and help me #because i can't do it myself #and no one takes me serious #and i don't fucking care for the typos in this

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upmala · 1 year ago

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being happy about starting a new life cancelled; officially depressed about all i have left behind.

#making friends takes time #being touch starved fucks with the mind #not knowing the local language is a ripe seed for loneliness #how long do i give myself before i move back?#personal drivel

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daumat · 8 months ago

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I'd redownload grindr but a) no motivation to prep for a mediocre man b) I'd just get self-conscious and dysphoric about being neither a hairless twink nor a ""straight acting"" gym bro

#personal barks #God grindr makes me hate myself #but the yearning is killing me and I'm so touch starved

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ojerasgigantes · 1 year ago

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I underestimated how much humans need touch

#me #personal #humans #psychology #mental health #touch starved #i miss being able to hug and cuddle my friends #my friend group from middle school which I still speak #we used to do this huge cuddle piles #when we watched movies or played videogames #we would jump on eaxh other backs #hold hands #an even lay on each others laps #one of them when he was tired would grab the closest persons hand and just place it on his head #meaning he wanted scratches #i would boop my friends noses all the time and it wasnt wierd #these are the only times I truly feel homesick #europe is great but god are they not touchy at all #and I found myself receding into the non comfort of being touchless #trying to mold myself smaller #so I wouldn’t make anyone at around me uncomortable #and now when people tell me #no! you are not touchy at all #it kinda hurts a little #i used to laugh internally when people said that they were touch starved #couldn’t understand it #lol look at me now #vent

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hellsbellssinclub · 1 year ago

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How the fuck did this fic turn into smut? It was supposed to be survival horror and I haven’t even gotten to the horror just surprised kinky smut that I am now ashamed to be writing

Wtf brain. Wtf

#my writing prompt to myself was “hunted down”’#not touch starved person will do anything to be touched in kindness and that anything includes sexy times with someone they really shouldn’t #I am very ashamed of this and am thinking of making it anonymous on a03 because I’m not sure I want this connected to my name #then again there is only like 3 people I know IRL who still know who I am on here #I have accidentally awoken things in me I didn’t know I liked and I am now confused #this fic was supposed to be horror related for Halloween #can I put this down as kintober instead of scartober?#😳😳😳 my writing #oh gods what have I done to myself #hellsbells wrote something!!!

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nauticalfools · 3 months ago

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#the way i would die for somebody to hold me and make me a meal #ive been doing everything by myself for years #and now for the last 7 months i lost any support system i had because i had to move #and i am absolutely dying #im so fucking lonely and tired #not to even mention touch starved #the way i would literally pay somebody to cuddle me if i had the money #its BAD #personal

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purplepri · 5 months ago

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I actually am in a state where any cuddles would make me cry because I'm so touch starved

That's what dating as an adult with the freedom to go over your boyfriend's house and sleep spooning with him only for him to break up with you leaving you with no one to even just lay down together and hug away the sad gives you

But anyways I miss my friends and getting like 6 to 7 hugs every morning while in highschool

#purple screams at the void #personal #touch starved myself by living in the big city

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fagdykebassboy · 6 months ago

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crazy that i was the happiest id ever been in my entire life and i didn’t realize i was in love

#i need someone to respond to and replicate every little thing i do to them just to remind myself reciprocation exists #we feelin touched starved big time tonight boys #and also missing the only person that ever made me feel deeply loved but whatever thats not important #delete later

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aceofroses-queenofstars · 7 months ago

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this week's formative experience: a life-altering cuddle session at midnight

#happened to shape both the paths of my podcast wip and also my personal life going forwards #didn't realize I was touch-starved until i found myself still distracted by it two days later #got layed on had a real hashtag autism moment which was fun #rose rambles #absolute gayass for my friends right here

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