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Eddie walking out of his room after a long, lazy make out session with Steve, only to run into Wayne who takes one look at him and says "You know, we have snacks, if Steve's hungry."

Eddie is confused, because what?

Wayne just smirks. "Just saying, the chips in the cabinet are better eatin' than your neck is, son."

And Eddie, mortified, runs to the bathroom to discover that yeah, his entire neck is covered in bites and splotchy hickies.

They don't talk about it again.

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Literally every single Neuroscience guy I listen to on audiobooks and podcasts: Multitasking is a lie. You are not more efficient. You're just rapidly switching between tasks and doing all of them slower but your brain is tricking itself into thinking it's more efficient because you get a little dopamine reward when you activate the 'change task' neurons. And you're burning up way more glucose in the process, leaving you more tired with less done. STOP MULTITASKING. JUST DO ONE THING. PLEASE IT'S ONLY WORSENING YOUR ATTENTION SPAN. WE'RE BEGGING YOU, PLEA--

My ADHD: Don't listen to them, babydoll. You are sooooooo efficient and attractive. Whoop. You got an email. Whoop you got a text. Whoop you got a blog ask. WOW look at all the tabs open on this window. Do you even remember what they're all for? Better look through them and close the ones you're not using because you're soooo sexy and efficient. Whoop, email again.

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Sewing pattern: this is NOT for beginners

Me, a beginner:

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The cruelty of racist white men.

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Sorry your boyfriend died and came back and died and came back and died and came back and died and came back again. He was trying to find you.

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In the Valentine’s Day spirit.

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I'm constantly impressed at people's ability to stretch anything to fit an acronym, but it's extremely impressive how well that fits.

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House has definitely sent Wilson a dick pic or several but he sends them by email because they are both old men and the titles are things like ‘URGENT: please identify if lung cancer’ or ‘patient biopsy results - respond ASAP’ so that Wilson’s guilt complex makes him feel obligated to open each one just in case someone’s life is actually on the line

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and while we're on the subject of luigi mangione, FREE NATHAN MAHONEY (who alledgedly* stabbed his company's ceo during a meeting)! the reason you may not have heard this name is because the police clearly do not want to make the same mistake they did with Mangione by allowing him to become a symbol. let's show our support for Nathan Mahoney, who looks exactly how he should in his mugshot— proud of himself

edit: the stabbed was the company’s president* not ceo, and the company (Anderson Express) manufactures vehicles for the US military

edit 2: to add on, the US military at this time sends much of its supplies to apartheid Israel in the genocide and ethnic cleansing of Palestinians from their country. this company was indirectly but most certainly harming and killing Palestinians.

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I love you trans people I love you so much I'm so glad you're alive I'm so glad you're here I'm so glad you exist

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need a full body massage a margarita 400mg of ibuprofen a plate of brownies at least an hour in a jacuzzi and 20,000 dollars cash

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ⓘ You can Bite your Friends.