#as a person with moral OCD
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WE NEED TO LEAVE REBLOG BAIT IN 2023 PLEASEEEEEE
#post#as a person with moral OCD#you are helping nobody and engaging in zero activism by reblogging a post that says “reblog if you support gay people” or whatever#if you interact with reblog bait i genuinely have no respect for you. you are actively harming your friends and acquaintances#with moral ocd or paranoia or intrusive thoughts or a number of other things#and doing nothing of value.
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"ermm if you eat and use this type of pancake batter you're literally an evil person that should rot in the 9th layer of hell"
chef with moral OCD:
#as someone with moral ocd please let me rip at people who do the “you're literally a bad person” type activism or whatever#having this sucks
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realizing that people who equate cynicism with intellectual rigor are often just being lazy and pathetic has been so helpful tbh
#like the endless amount of cynicism i see on here particularly amongst american leftists just very much reads to me#as a combination of moral ocd and identity politics / optics#where if you’re sad/angry enough it excuses you from participating in the real world#instead of like. funneling a real desire to see positive change into channels of action#anyways. aoc and rashida talib the only bitches out here i respect#i am never going to be a person who responds to like. paragraphs about how electoral politics are evil or america is evil like yeah. true.#but i live here. people i love live here. strangers i love live here. so now what do i do that is Real outside of the whining chamber#optimism = stupid / fatalism = intellect is like. LOLOLOL#we all have to chose to believe that we can create a world that is livable#which is not to say i am#at all aligned with the dem#establishment or the liberal agenda but like. i’m not taking myself out of the game bc i believe i can Do Something and it’s my duty to do
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can we please stop telling people to kill themselves and to rot in hell and that they deserve to be bullied and that they are inherently horrible people who deserve to die and get doxxed. please. can we please stop doing that.
#like#okay first of all. do you understand the gravity of what youre saying or are you just throwing words into sentences#second of all. that kind of language is so fucking harmful for people with ocd or just obsessions with morality#because i mean not to make this abt Me (though this is kind of a vent ) but when i see people saying that it just. Sends me into spirals#because if people can say that to other people then what if they say it to me because i secretly believe the same things (even if i don't#-most of the time!)#what if im an inherently horrible person deep down? am i going to rot in hell for feeling slightly bad for this person?#i cant imagine that others dont feel like this or something along those lines.#im so fucking sick of death threats they do nothing. they do fucking jackshit except make more people feel terrible.#if you send death threats to people or say shit like this im blocking you. i dont want you in my space#bee.txt#moral ocd#scrupulosity
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I’m about to go to sleep, but respectfully, I understand that y’all have important causes to talk about, especially right now, but could you please try to properly tag or trigger warning posts that are like “you’re an awful person if you don’t do x, y, and z” or “you aren’t really x unless you do y” . like we need to come up with a new trigger warning, because that shit is awful for my scrupulosity OCD and I’d imagine for others with it as well.
I’ve had to block several tags that I’d be embarrassed to say that I blocked just because all of the posts about it freak me the fuck out and make me have a panic attack about what an awful person I am that I’m not actively doing something about these issues at all moments of the day. I understand that these situations are important and difficult, but what good to the cause does giving people panic attacks do? I know y’all have the best of intentions with these posts, but they’re not always the most helpful. Like, people who aren’t triggered by them but dissagree probably will just be annoyed by them.
anyone who wants to add on mentions of similar formats of posts that can also be triggering in that way are welcome to.
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Saw this https://www.tumblr.com/anshelsgendercrisis/759583013442125824?source=share and I just wanted to say thank you.
Thank you for having an open mind, thank you for being willing to listen and change, thank you for having a moral compass.
Sorely needed and hugely appreciated right now. Thank you.
hi! thank you (every jewish person who reads this) for giving me a chance to be better. you'd have every right not to given how easily i traded my humanity for my own comfort, even temporarily.
i've been looking at this ask for hours and not knowing how to respond. it's difficult to process how little is expected of my fellow non-jews, and how we still (collectively) fail to meet the standards.
yesterday, i reblogged this. in the hours since, i've had about twice the engagement i've had ever, almost exclusively from jewish blogs.
it's both incredibly inspiring and heartbreaking.
i am so deeply inspired by how hopeful and kind so many jewish people are. everyone i have seen or interacted with on here, even when they're receiving vile hatred and are incredibly frustrated, stress that they want peace.
but it is so heartbreaking to see so many people who are doing exactly what i did. maybe for the same reasons, maybe for different ones, but still with the same effect. it's so hard to acknowledge when you were wrong, when you make mistakes, when you hurt people. it's so hard because i believe a lot of people truly don't want to hurt people. but they're not willing to confront their own discomfort to do it. i know, because i didn't. for months.
i want to say thank you to every jewish person on here. you are unbelievably strong, and i hope you all have a good day soon. i'm grateful for your patience.
and to every non-jew who has read this far, especially if you've been advocating for palestine or if you've been engaging with anti-zionist content: please, just for a moment, take a step back. i cannot understate how little nuance is accepted in (specifically western, i have no experience in other cultures) online spaces. even surrounding things not related to the conflict, there is next to no level of nuance.
i saw people who quite blatantly said "i almost always disagree with this person politically but now they're agreeing with me so obviously they've joined the 'good side'." without even for a moment stopping to think that maybe—maybe—they're wrong. maybe they're on the wrong side. maybe they're doing the wrong thing if someone they usually find does bad things is doing the same.
i thank whatever deities or higher powers there are out there in the big wide universe that my dad is an english teacher who grilled linguistic analysis and grammar into me from when i was a baby. i truly believe it was one of the only things that kept me from being radicalized beyond repair. because i was constantly skeptical of people in those spaces and disturbed by their lack of nuance. but i still believed everything they said so long as it wasn't overtly contradictory.
i won't say you haven't done anything bad or wrong. you probably have. i have. what i will say is that you always have the opportunity to be better. to choose peace instead of violence and kindness over hatred. it's a hard choice to make, and it's one you have to make over and over and over again. but i promise you it is worth it.
#antisemitism#leftist antisemitism#leftist#israel#palestine#tags not for reach:#i'm still learning so please tell me if any of this is out of line!#aside from reminding yourself to care about people over politics#which is important in and of itself#i promise you personally will be so much happier if you don't choose to drown yourself in hate#to anyone who also has moral ocd#it's not wrong to take a break#it's not wrong to take care of yourself first#you can't pull people out of a fire if you're already burning#you will be a better person when you take care of yourself and stop forcing yourself to be miserable because other people are
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tumblr is to moral ocd what tiktok is to adhd and post
#i gotta be careful what i see. the all or nothing thinking is rampant#its so exacerbated here i only follow like a couple ppl#even if i like someone's content i might not follow them bc if i see something that makes me Think too hard#i'll get stuck in a spiral and i Have to Keep Reading. so i check their shit manually when i can handle it.#even other soc blogs lol sorry guys love yall#anyway sorry i can't think about every issue always forever. no one can but especially not me#when you try to enjoy the internet but the tumblr environment makes your brain beat you with a stick yelling BAD EVIL BAD PERSON#epic crippling empathy moment#ocd mention#moral ocd#ocd scrupulosity#not soc#ocd
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saw a post that was like “maybe more people need moral ocd” and like. bro you do Not know what moral ocd is. it doesn’t make you a better person it just means you spend way too much time wanting to kill yourself bc you misspelled something and that’s Evil to actually do anything helpful.
#like moral ocd actually makes you kind of a worse person. and i don’t mean that in the sense it makes you evil you’re not#it just means you end up stuck in a nightmare compulsion obsession loop and are too stunlocked to do anything helpful#ableism
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Just went down a rabbit hole so sickeningly and evil-y white whilst blocking and I genuinely feel sick and murderous
#every single stupid fuck that uses their intrusive thoughts as an excuse to be racist#ows me their head on a fucking spike#and this goes for anyone frankly using intrusive thoughts and ocd as excuses for supporting#ANYTHING morally heinous#you make me fucking sick as a person with ocd and intrusive thoughts
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had a really interesting convo yesterday about ethics and whether intent or results matters (eg if you tried to make an ethical purchasing choice but the business was actually exploitative as hell, does that "count") and very much came to the conclusion that sure, if you're concerned with your personal immortal soul, as a christian might be, then intention counts. but if what you're focused on is your impact on the world, then intention means nothing if the actions have negative results, right? (that doesn't mean you're to blame for them! you didn't know! but you also don't get "ethics points" for trying, you know?)
and this also got me thinking about the whole christian idea that sinful thoughts are as bad as sinful actions because. they're just not imo. maybe for the sake of your Immortal Soul they are points against you, if that's your jam. but in terms of putting good into the world, in terms of your impact on other people, the ONLY thing that matters is what you choose to do with those thoughts. there is no way that "was kind to someone who was pissing me off, for the sake of community harmony" or "helped an acquaintance with a task even though I felt resentful about the time spent doing that" is a Bad Thing for the world
and it made me wonder how much purity culture and thought policing is rooted in (mostly evangelical) cultural christianity and this idea that ethical choices are an individual thing because what matters is the impact of them on YOUR soul and not, you know, things we do because of what we owe the world around us / because of love for others / because a world where people are trying to put good into it is a hell of a lot nicer to live in than one where people are only worried about themselves
i grew up evangelical but like. fairly mild evangelical and even though there wasn't a big focus on hell and stuff, i definitely fixated on imperfect thoughts and behaviours that were putting absolutely no harm into the world, rather than focusing on what i could do to put good into it, and that individualistic vs outward-focused approach to morality has been something i've grappled with a lot as an adult. but i never really thought about it as simply as this and really that's what it boils down to. are you making the ethical choice because you're trying to put good in the world, or because it would make you a "good person" to do so? because the answer to that 100% defines whether it's the thought or the result that counts
#also i feel like Sinful Thoughts Are As Bad As Sinful Actions...#as well as being bullshit...#is just like a one way trip to moral ocd and a whole lot of guilt spirals#and i just don't think it's useful! you can't necessarily choose your thoughts!#you can however choose your actions because Good is something you do not something you are#ethics#i do think The Good Place did more to make me interrogate my evangelical upbringing and ethical assumptions than anything else#but also this idea of putting good into the world... idk. it's kind of encouraging AND scary#i don't think I'm naturally a very good person but i can choose to do good#i can be bitter and jealous and resentful and still help people and make their lives a little easier#and my feelings are not actually impacting on the world whereas my actions are#at the same time in a society built on exploitation and corporate greeed#it's hard not to be conscious of the harm my actions are doing without me trying#i didn't necessarily make an unethical choice but all of my choices cause harm to someone somewhere#living in the west and the global north and whatever you become very conscious of that
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npd + moral ocd culture is doing all the right things to be a good person but having breakdowns because you dont actually care about the people you’re helping out (because duh why would you, you dont know them like that) and the little voice in ur head is telling u ur gonna get found out as a fraud
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#npd culture is#npd + ocd culture is#npd + moral ocd culture is#npd#actually narcissistic#actually npd#narcissistic personality disorder#cluster b#ocd#obsessive compulsive disorder#moral ocd
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Do you think it's possible for someone who isn't stone to have a respectful sexual relationship with someone who is?
oh absolutely. i vent a lot abt my anxieties over being stone and dating on here (sorry) but it’s really not that deep. i’m just a very neurotic person lol.
ofc there needs to be communication and a willingness to be open to one another’s needs and how they can be met! but people with incompatible needs negotiate and find ways to remain in connection all the time.
stone4stone is beautiful and important, but it is NOT the only option for stone folks. we can have sex and be in relationships with people who aren’t stone. all we need to do is communicate, and it’s up to the other person to decide whether they need something we can’t give 💓
#clarke answers#realizing how much the convo on tumblr around stone lesbians starts and ends with ‘we’re made for each other! we’re a perfect match!’#and this is hell for my brain lol. feeling like i can ONLY morally have sex with a stone top makes me thought-spiral like crazy#and i obsessively worry abt whether the person i’m hooking up with is really a stone top (even if they told me)#because what if they’re secretly lying to be polite and secretly want me to top them and i’m harming them by not fulfilling their need?#if this sounds exhausting and paranoid. well it is! lmao#might have a touch of ye olde moral ocd 😬#stone identity
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my current plan re: tumblr is to use this site once a week TOPS at least until the US election in november, then maybe resume every day. i literally dont think the amount of anger i have over the stupid bullshit i have to see from people who think you should have to be guilty about everything you do and that feeling as much guilt as possible is peak activism is like sustainable in terms of purely like. my own health reasons. im being tested for hyperthyroidism and a number of other things rn bc of chronic pain + issues eating exacerbated by stress and i don’t feel like mass unfollowing ppl bc a lot of it is coming from ppl i care about
#it’s just the constant guilt tripping for me#like it’s not enough to do the right thing you have to let guilt weigh you down about things outside of your control 24/7#that’s literally how you develop Health Issues#it’s not how people are supposed to live and i know this bc i grew up in a religion based on an extremely similar mindset. lmao.#i’m probably going to be dealing with issues around guilt for being a bad person for the rest of my life after leaving mormonism#and this site feeds on that#considering the amount of this site’s userbase that has ptsd or moral ocd it just seems a bit ridiculous to have that approach no?
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do other people with moral ocd get like. genuinely anxious and nervous when they make OCs / write fan content for characters that are not part of your culture bc your brain alternates between stuff like "making them speak (language connected with culture) is stereotypical because of (x reason) and therefore you're racist and horrible and bigoted" and "if you don't make them do (x thing connected to culture) then you're erasing their heritage and being racist and horrible and bigoted"
i cant win!!!! no matter what i do i feel like im either overstepping and Stereotyping or Not Doing Enough and contributing to erasure!!!!
its gotten so bad that i genuinely get nauseous with fear just looking things up because my brain screams at me that i should know Everything Already and the fact that i don't means that i'm, you guessed it, horrible and bigoted!!!!!!
#please god dont piss on the poor w/ this please god please#this is me talking about my intrusive thoughts and anxieties as a way to understand and try to get over them#im turning off reblogs for this bc i dont want it spread but im posting bc i dont think im the only person who struggles w this#idk. maybe seeing someone talk abt it will help someone#ocd#intrusive thoughts#vent#moral ocd#moral scrupulosity
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everyone that laces your gaza posts or whatever with "IF YOU'RE A GOOD PERSON DO THIS DON'T IGNORE OR YOU'RE EVIL YOU FAKE ALLY BIGOT!" i simply ask why? is it specifically to harm people with ocd? do you think people who really don't give a fuck will be like "oh well i cant just scroll past it now, gdi, guess i gave to reblog, you got me :3" LIKE???? JUST POST THE LINKS AND BE LIKE "if you're looking for ways to support, here's some resources".
#pup yaps#gaza#free palestine#ocd#moral ocd#actually ocd#I've literally been turned off from even looking at such tags bc#it's a choice of “do I wanna put myself through a panic attack and get stuck in a ocd loop right now and possibly get scammed?”#“or even perpetuate misinformation or doomerism or this very ocd bullshit im caught up rn?”#“well if i don't then im a bad person...”#like fuck outta here#thank goodness for therapy bc i can actually bring myself to sift through the bs more often now#but jfc#how are you waxing woke and ignoring the many many many posts like this im making right now from the mentally ill and shit and asking for#this simple change in rhetoric#at the same time
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questioning sexuality is so exhausting
#(edit: sorry for the rant in the tags and i just. i want someone to talk to me)#i keep on doing it for no apparent reason#someone was talking about lust yesterday and i realised today that.#even tho id thought i don't experience it. i possibly do. but exclusively towards women.#i hate it here!#for a multitude of reasons i will never have a relationship with a woman but! i may be incapable of having a relationship with a man!#at some point in the last few months i have abruptly pivoted from definitely wanting marriage and kids to being ambivalent on marriage#and not wanting kids. that's such an outlier in my life that it might just be a mental health thing tho idk#but at the same time i. want to be loved.#i don't know what i want anymore and im tired of questioning myself#i definitely overthink it but idk how to stop it#and i hate hate hate how the moral obsessions have bee lately#this isn't entirely related but it kind of is#like Am i a terrible morally bankrupt person for having certain thoughts or is it just religious ocd go brrrr?? am i overthinking it?#i don't know. i don't know!#for a while labelling myself as arospec ace kinda calmed that down but. i don't know#i do't want to be attracted to women. i don't want to have to look away so often. i don't want any of that.#but i don't know how to stop it.#i don't even know if i'm attracted to men at all.#this is a cry for help and encouragement and prayers no matter what your views on these matters are#queer stuff tag#i nearly fessed up to my friend yesterday about same sex attraction and i might've except that it would have probably outed me as#the person who anonymously sent in a question several months ago about the side b movement to a church thing#ive only told one person at church about any of that sort of stuff and it was very vaguely worded#also see: this friend is the mother of the boy i?? i don't even know how i feel about him#i increasingly think it wasn't romantic at all. but i don't know#i would love any encouragement you got. anything at all.#i don't know how much this stuff is affected by the fact that i consider myself unloveable and think it highly unlikely any boy will ever#care for me#now im rambling. sorry
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