#aroace king we love him

[lindewyrm]

sequoia ref update <3

[touchyluffy]

part one

In the days it takes you to heal from your injuries, Luffy comes to your bedroom to sleep next to you every night. He does try, the night after the first, to sleep in his own bedroom but he can't. Usually sleep comes easy to him, especially after a long day of adventure but not now. He closes his eyes, trying to think of your wounds healing, your soft breathing, your warm hand holding his, but he can't fall asleep. He huffs in irritation and rises from his bed, sulking across the ship to knock on your bedroom door and opening it slowly. You put down your book, you were also struggling to sleep, and open the covers for him. You smile at each other as he excitedly hops into your bed.

And so it becomes routine for you two. Even as your injuries heal completely, as the sunsets and the crew walks off to their separate bedrooms, Luffy follows you into yours and you let him. It becomes normal to roll over in the middle of the night and snuggle into his warm body, to wake up in the morning with his arm wrapped around you, to feel him pull you closer in his sleep, to giggle at his sleep-talking, to hear your name in his mumblings. You offer to let him keep his toothbrush and some clothes in your room, he accepts.

Sleeping together becomes so routine that you have trouble sleeping without him. There were times when you two would be separated by a foe that Luffy challenged and each night you would stay awake staring at his side of the bed, worry clouding your mind and making it impossible to sleep and eventually when Luffy defeated the foe, he would be covered in bandages and it was your turn to listen to his soft, even breathing as he slept. There were times when you be working late into the night and he would come find you, curling up on the floor next to you to sleep in your presence until you eventually finish and drag him back to your bed so you can both sleep comfortably. There were times when you would get angry at him for putting the crew in danger with his recklessness and you'd slammed your bedroom door in his face and toss and turn, your anger at him turning into desperation for him to just come to bed already, eventually you get up to find him and as you open your bedroom door, Luffy's sleeping frame falls on your legs. He'd been sleeping against your door. Smiling you pull his rubbery body into bed and cuddle up next to him, his heartbeat your lullaby. He smiles in his sleep and his arms come up around you. Whenever he's missing his hat or sandals, you find them by your bed.

This new routine of you and your captain sleeping together left your other crewmates with their mouths on the floor several times. They still hadn't gotten used to you two waving goodnight and walking into the same bedroom. When they would ask, you tried to explain but there really wasn't anything to explain. You and their captain couldn't sleep unless you slept together. That's all, why do they always stare at you in such surprise when you say that? Their shocked faces didn't discourage you both into cuddling up to each other at night, finding relaxation, warmth, safety, and comfort in each others arms. What was once your space becomes "our bedroom", "our closet", "our bathroom".

[chaoticace2005]

Notice to Stop and Get Some Help

Notice to Cease and Desist

Mr. Vox of VokTek,

Please accept this correspondence as a formal notice to cease and desist all activity related to the Radio Demon.

While the nefarious actions you undertake as a CEO and member of a crime group, which includes but is not limited to mass brainwashing, invasion of privacy, conspiracy, and aiding in abuse, this is Hell so all of that is deemed acceptable by the non-existent law on place.

However, the amount of complaints received involving your continued correspondence, obsession, and harassment of the Radio Demon has made it so we’ve had to adopt a legal system for the sake of this law (so fuck you for making me do all this work.)

Four weeks prior, a Change.org petition with over 18 million signatures arrived on the desk of King Lucifer Morningstar. This, combined with the amount of complaints received involving your continued correspondence, obsession, and harassment of the Radio Demon has made it so we’ve had to adopt a legal system for the sake of this law.

For further specification, because this is Hell and sometimes we need to write this out, here is what you need to know:

1. No fights with the Radio Demon in public spaces or over transmission. (Seriously, this is annoying.)

2. No stealing his hair to make wigs.

3. No forcing your partner to wear aforementioned wigs.

4. No creating or requesting the creation of body pillows with a likeliness to the Radio Demon.

5. No highjacking a broadcast to slander the Radio Demon.

6. Just… no breaking out into song about the Radio Demon. Seriously dude what the fuck.

7. No putting cameras into vicinities of which he resides.

8. No getting other people to do that.

9. No taking over of “the Vees” meetings to complain about the Radio Demon for hours. That time is apparently for bitching about other entities, including an “Angel Dust” (which is a whole separate legal issue that will be further dealt with by Asmodeus, Sin of Lust, as well as Lucifer Morningstar, King of Hell.)

10. No requesting your associates to make porn that has likeliness to the Radio Demon.

11. No following the Radio Demon around in public.

12. No grand declarations of love to the Radio Demon (he’s aroace and it makes him uncomfortable.)

13. No calling your partner “Alastor” or “Al” in bed, regardless of how close their nickname may sound to it.

14. No screaming about how the Radio Demon getting injured is “better than sex” (it makes some demons feel inadequate.)

15. No crying about the Radio Demon having “new rivals.”

16. No placing a hit out on a random, bitchy, cannibalistic old lady named Susan. She bites.

17. No jacking off to videos of the Radio Demon being injured.

We, the people of Real Legal Company (a subsection of the Immediate Murder Professionals), are aware that this particular format may not follow the structure of previous legal notices and codes. And to this we say fuck you. It doesn’t fucking matter. This is Hell. We didn’t have any clients to kill and only know legal stuff from movies. And Stolas was too busy to read this over.

Any and all issues with this document are of the result of Moxxie Knolastname and should be taken up with him. NO DON’T WRITE THAT

Anyways, fuck you and maybe get help?

Document dictated by the people of I.M.P

Written by Fizzarolli (cause Blitzø can’t write for shit.)

Forwarded by Asmodeus, Sin of Lust

Approved by Lucifer with the addition that such restrictions do not apply to the King of Hell (which we doubted it would because he’s literally the king??? But anyways if you see Ol’ Lucy harassing the Radio Demon he wants to remind you it’s because he’s king and allowed to.)

Signed by the people.

[radioapplerevue]

Radioapple Fic Recs

Finally got around to organizing a rec list. Going to pin this, since I see people ask for recs a lot. I expect I'll be updating this periodically, too, as I've only just started adding things to it.

These are my personal favorites. For context, I'm an almost 40 year old aroace person whose favorite fics tend to be those who take you apart and then put you back together, haha. Putting them under a read more because I expect this to get long.

The Ruination of Lucifer by @syaunei. (Explicit)

Remember what I said about taking apart and being put back together? Nothing has come close to toppling this fic for me when it comes to emotional catharsis. One of the things I love most about it is how directly it deals with Lucifer's severe depression and the consequences of it, as well as the many, many centuries of him having to deal with just being Who He Is, Where He Is. He's terribly wounded and suffering, but he's also indisputably the King of Hell, with all the power and all the knowledge and all the experience that comes with it.

This fic also stands out for being from Alastor's POV, which I love, because as much as this fic is called The Ruination of Lucifer, the subtitle could be "How Alastor Fucked Around and Found Out". Both of them are getting broken down here, and both of them are -- hopefully -- learning how to grow and move forward. It also takes into account Alastor's asexuality and his unconventional approach towards sex, and what it can (or can't) do for him.

Mind the warnings, though, because shit does get heavy in here for a while. And enjoy the gorgeous illustrations by @betti2024.

2. Lucifer and his Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Relationship by @keelywolfe (ratings vary by part)

This series has me in a chokehold. It's considerably softer than many Radioapple fics, but it really draws you in and makes you so invested in these two idiots and how much they care about each other but also how bad they are at understanding how much they care about each other. It's Lucifer's POV, which causes Suffering not only because he's an incredibly unreliable narrator, but because there's Something Going On with Alastor that we know nothing about except that it's Bad. And we (and Lucifer) are dyiiiing to know what it is, haha.

There is a lot of sex in this series, but there's something about it that's very compelling to me, especially from Alastor's side. The way he is written in these encounters is just so... tender. It's obvious that (most of the time) he's not getting anything really in terms of sexual gratification, but he's getting a great deal in terms of gratification of a different sort, and the fact that it's so clear that he derives as much -- or perhaps more -- pleasure from that as Lucifer does from the sex itself is so delicious.

But my favorite aspect of the whole thing is that no matter what conflicts are going on -- whether outside of themselves, or of their own making -- Lucifer has become Alastor's safe harbor. And that kills me.

3. Bedtime Rituals to Try Out Before the Next Angelic War by @miribalis (teen and up)

Did I mention I like soft? Because I do. And there's something so lovely about the slow, careful way their relationship progresses here, especially on Alastor's side. My issue with this fic is that it ended, haha! I was so looking forward to seeing where it went, because I got addicted to the particular tender rapport that the two of them built. But being left wanting more is hardly a knock on the fic itself, and it's absolutely a treat to get to read.

4. All changed, changed utterly by @tollingreminiscentbells (explicit)

This series is very different from the rest. It's a canon AU where Lucifer and Alastor first met when Alastor was still alive, and then proceeds to go into canon events from there, with Lucifer being the one holding Alastor's leash. There's a lot to chew on, and the author has chosen to go a very different route regarding biblical mythology than the show does. Definitely something I recommend if you want a deep dive into a really meaty series, that delves into both the dynamics of Heaven vs. Hell as well as the worth of free will, as embodied by Alastor (for better or worse).

It also includes one of my new favorite recurring things, which is Alastor's 'delusional not-sex'. (It's sex.)

5. devils don't fly (don't expect me not to fall) by @corgiss (mature)

I think it's becoming apparent that I really enjoy fics that begin with the two of them butting heads, and sometimes stumbling into a huge blunder, only for them to slowly grow together into something much softer than either of them likely intended. This is one such fic. It also involves some fun stuff with the rest of the cast, and a masquerade. Gotta love that.

6. Of Saints and Sinners by @morningstarwrites (teen and up)

This fic is probably the most lighthearted of the radioapple fics I read, haha. It's a fun romp and has definitely made me laugh out loud on more than one occasion. So if you're looking for something that preserves that antagonism-to-grudging-friendship-to-oh-no-we've-caught-feelings kind of story, but with more comedy and less angst, this is the fic for you! (I mean, I have no idea if angst is going to happen in the future, but so far.)

7. hit me where it hurts (the bruising will be worth it) by RestlessWanderings (mature)

This one can only be called radioapple if you squint, but I'm including it because a) it's by far my favorite take on the hotel battle scene, b) I love when Lucifer gets fucked up and people get scared for him and c) it's technically part of a radioapple series. I don't know if that series is still going to happen, but I do enjoy this plenty on its own!

8. Lucid Dreams of New Orleans by @radiaurapple (teen and up)

This is fic has a very unusual set up -- it deals a lot with memories (mostly Alastor's) with Lucifer along for the ride. If you're interested in seeing Alastor's background and relationships in life fleshed out, with the addition of Lucifer both within those memories and outside of them (and, perhaps, a bit of the other way around), then you should enjoy this journey! Also, pining. Gotta love pining.

9. Take Your King to Work Day by @decembercamiecherries (gen)

This is just a one-shot that I love. It's funny and clever and so very, very Lucifer and Alastor in a nutshell.

10. Line of Sight by @yersifanel (ratings vary -- teen to explicit)

I really enjoyed this series that was done for radioapple week. I'm always into it when Alastor thinks he's being clever and has everything under control and then it comes back to bite him in the ass when he realizes that what he wants isn't what he thought he wanted, and isn't that fucked up, how dare this happen to him. (Basically, I love him being a melodramatic baby over things that are actually not an issue at all. ) The drama of it all! (Alastor is the drama. That's it.)

11. Hunger Pains by @theaffablescamp (explicit. VERY explicit)

This is porn. Ha no it's not just that at all, but as a heads up, this is a very explicit series. So much smut. So if you're not into that, it's not your thing. Basically, Alastor eats a lust demon which does not turn out well for him, proceeds to make a deal with Lucifer to 'fix' the problem, and then creates many many more problems for himself along the way. This series is great for the incredible mental gymnastics Alastor uses to avoid the answers that are staring him right in the face in favor of much worse ones. Also, for a confident Lucifer who often has the upper hand and tries to nudge Alastor into actually acknowledging what he wants (and usually failing). It's messy and fun and very hot.

12. Between the Shadow and the Soul by @winterveritas (explicit)

This series has a bit of a different Alastor than a lot of them, where he's interested in Lucifer off the bat and intent on pursuing him. Of course, being Alastor, he has no idea what he's doing (even when he thinks he does). I am particularly fond of the second entry in the series, because hurt/comfort is my lifeblood. Also, it includes the most creative disposal of Lucifer's wedding ring that I've seen. This series is definitely on the softer side, which is something I take comfort in when some of the other fics hurt me, lol. I certainly hope to see it continued!

Hold here for more! There are a bunch of fics I’m following but am unsure if they’ll ever be finished — which is fine, writers don’t owe us anything! But it will definitely determine how high up they are on my favorites, haha. And of course people are posting new ones all the time.

[aychama]

I love Aym so, I need an info dump about his role in your au

What's his position, is he Narinder's son or not (some love that), his twin relationship with Baal and uhh... Is he looking for a bachelorette, anyways, his thoughts on Lamb and other kings?

I know I asked so much but I love your art and can't wait for the entire stuff!!!

Sure thing!

Aym and Baal belong to the only family (Forneus) who is still completly loyal to Narinder.

Forneus basicly keeps the flow of money going in Narinder's kingdom and gives him information on who is stealing from him and such.

Narinder initially had refused to be asigned personal guards but with Shamura's insistent letters he accepted Aym and Baal. (Even with the whole situation with the kings and Narinder, Shamura simply didnt want him to be assasinated by hungry crown seekers/ people who wanted revenge and has no control over Aym and Baal.)

At first Aym and Baal were just guards but as time went on they saw how much pressure was on Narinder's shoulders and wanted to help him.

Aym has the role of controlling the millitary/teaching the knights.

Baal has the role of managing the kingdoms finance's. (He gets help from Forneus every now and then)

They are not related to Narinder but care a lot for him and would lay their life for him. However they have never expressed or talked about these emotions. They see him as a role model, a perfect king. No matter how cruel he is.

If we are gonna talk about their personal lives Aym is aromantic while Baal is asexual and together they are

⭐️THE AROACE BROTHERS ⭐️

Bdkflfşşfş

Aym is single (and ready to mingle) while Baal has a fiance (i havent thought enough about his fiance yet i might remove her completely or change who she is)

Aym thinks Lambert is too cocky and annoying, especially because the both of them will spar regulary and he hates their taunts.

Baal thinks Lambert is a good addition, more hands to help the king the better.

They both dont like the other kings, everytime all the kings had to meet up Aym and Baal had to remove some unfortunate souls corpse after Narinder got too agitated with his siblings but couldnt do anything about it so he would lash out on someone. (Same thing that would have happened to Lambert if things went a diffrent way in my first comic)

Thank you for the ask!

[jingyi-ma-boi]

We can all agree that aroace king Jiang Wanyin is Wangxian hater #1 because he's so done with these hyper-sexual allos' shit. It's affecting his blood pressure. He just wants to live in peace and what's worse than all is that he can't go to his dear jiejie because Xuanli are so sweet is sickening. They get a pass because they gave him Jin Ling, tho.

Our dear Jiang Cheng is not the only one terrorized by amatonormativity, tho, because guess what? Xiyao hater #1 Nie Mingjue is just as aroace and just as done as him. So, it just makes sense for them to end up commiserating together about all the sex-crazed people in their life.

Maybe it happens after 3zun and Wangxian + JC meet at some activity where both NMJ and JC are so fucking done with the lovebirds. They are doing everything wrong in the pursuit of their disgusting lovesick shenanigans, ruining what was supposed to be a peaceful and enjoyable experience for them. And then, when the two trios meet and JC and NMJ have a moment (kind of like the romcom cliché for instant love) they decide to ditch the annoying lovebirds.

They are happy now that they can hate everyone in peace and do their thing and rage about shit while Xiyao and Wangxian in the back (mainly LXC and WWX) are super excited bc they think they have made the ship of the century happen.

[whoishotteranimepolls]

Fandom observation nicknames and funny tags: Part One Piece

Okay, one piece fandom it's your turn and I'm going to highlight your creativity. Again this is not meant to shame or call anyone out. I am genuinely impressed with the creativity and you guys made me laugh. So again in my opinion these were too good just to be lost in the tags or in the anonymous messages, several you sent me. So expand post at your own risk. This one is unhinged

*updated as of May 4th with more tags and new characters

I have mentioned this before, but for some reason that is beyond me. One Piece fandom you guys refer to your characters as daddy and mommy (And it's in a kinky way) way more than any fandom. I think I should just start with the list of characters that have been labeled as such before I go into the creative names for individual characters. Because trust me who makes the list and who doesn't is actually funny.

One piece Daddy's: Shanks, Mihawk, Buggy, Sir Crocodile, Benn Beckman, Killer, Sanji, Rayleigh, Roger, Doflamingo, Rosinante/Corazon, Katakuri, Ivankov, Arlong, Yamato, Marco, Izou, Smoker, Garp, Sengoku, Zeff, Kuzan/Aokiji, Kizaru, Fujitora, Akainu, Blackbeard

When it comes to the One piece Mommy's: Nico Robin, Boa Hancock, Charlotte Smoothie, Charlotte Galette, Charlotte Amande, Vice admiral doll, Catarina Devon, Ivankov & Crocodile

Now due to popular demand the new category the One Piece Babygirls: Ace, Buggy, Sanji, Luffy, Sabo, Zoro, Ussop, Marco, Crocodile, Doflamingo, Kid, Law, Bepo, Killer, Mihawk, Shanks, Perona, Yamato, Kuzan/Aokiji, Kizaru, Fujitora, Rosinante/Corazon, Katakuri, Smoker, Robin, Nami, Vivi, Jinbe, Hatchan, Roger, Zeff

Now when it comes to individual characters there have been some interesting standouts but I'm just going to do some highlights because you guys have so many characters

Ace: "Depressed sunshine orphan boy with daddy issues", "ace has that grungy line cook riz you know he lays legendary pipe", " he got goofy older brother swag", "Beautiful butch dyke wife", "Ace my greasy fire narcoleptic king", "The narcoleptic babygirl", the greasy crusty desert rat. "He would be worth the burn risk", "my favorite fire donut", "something about greasy alabasta ace hits so different", "with his riz he's probably a walking STD risk but it would be worth it. Just look at him probably also probably got a couple bastard kids running around the grand line", it's ok he's still greasy in my heart worlds most feral baby boy he looks like he eats dirt I could fix him (force him to bathe regularly)

Arlong: "Y'all are too afraid to recognize the truth too afraid of his drip, his swagger, his saw nose, to admit that he's hot also live action arlong?!?!the only sexy fishmen," "arlong looks like a toxic florida frat bro," "I legitimately think there's something wrong with me sometimes due to how bad I want arlong the rancid personality enhances the appeal", "yall are p****" arlong is sexy put some respect on his name look at those lips the laugh the hair!"

Akainu: "The world's next top authoritarian," magma Daddy, "He makes donuts and I still love him"

Bartolomeo: "the man hasn't showered in probably a week he's obsessed with the strawhats he'll pee anywhere and he's an absolute dweeb he's like a stray mutt that followed me home look at his fit it's AWFUL AND FABULOUS he's gross and dumb and if something bad happens to this silly barrier- creating puppy i'll LOSE IT"

Belo Betty: "True story: Belo Betty made me, an Aroace woman have a sexuality crisis."

Ben Beckman: Dilf, "retirement blorbo", "Benn Beckman is a religious experience", "to me? beckman is the character with the most sex appeal ever. raw sex appeal. I would [redacted] if I met this man. just sayin", "He can ruin my life any day of the week", "Also lest we forget pre TS Beck a++ quality right there I just want someone smart who will also hit a guy with a gun is that so much to ask for", "This p**** wants what she wants and its always going to be Benn “back breaker" Beckman", husband material, "men are like wine in order to get a good vintage you want the one that's aged", he had that sexy blind and reckless loyalty about him", "Beckman is a fine aged vintage of wine as men should be", "DEAR GOD the things I WOULD DO to that man LIKE [redacted] and [redacted] because [redacted] and [redacted]", "idk how to explain it but he's so wife", "benn beckman? more like benn breastman ok sorry yeah anyways. said it before and ill say it again beckman exudes raw sex appeal like jesus christ. why would you not want to fuck this man ive had lesbian friends who said he would be an exception to them which is so real his tits are big he loves his captain he STUBBED HIS CIGARETTE IN A MAN'S EYE UNDER THE GUISE OF DEFENDING HIS CAPTAIN so fucking sexy mwah mwah beckman my wife you are so hot SO HOT. in conclusion benn breastman you will forever be a top sexyguy in my head oh also forgot to add. he canonically gets bitches which is so real. he could get me any day", "Oh dear I just realised I have a thing for older men with grey hair and have substance abuse issues I choose to believe lung cancer does not exist in opu", "

Buggy: Assigned clown at birth, walking disaster, "my pathetic sniveling wet clown", my Beloved, "he has blue hair and pronouns", Failboy, "the skrunkly clown", "my clown wife", "he has that fail boy cringe", "buggy has the stronger levels of foolishness and fumbling his way to success", "the cringefail clown extraordinaire buggy", "he is silly and pathetic like a bisexual divorced dad",

Catarina Devon: "my problematic lesbian sugar mommy”,

Cracker: "if Cracker just let his hair down he'd be unstoppable i fear", "get wrecked cracker", "I am so curious about the people voting for cracker let me study you please", "cracker getting murdered as expected", "you can't do my biscuit husband like that", "i find cracker really hot"

Crocodile: desert daddy, Babygirl, "He's like if tony soprano was trans", crocodaddy, crocomommy, Big titty mob boss, He's 8ft tall and I would let he ruin me,"Mr. Sandman", "the human sandcastle," "literally has sand in his britches", "son of a beach", "World's Most Expensive Sand Sculpture", "he's got 99 problems and his hook is one of them", "casino blorbo", "I would subject myself to sandburn any day for THE SIR FUCKING CROCODILE Anakin Skywalker don't go here because I WOULD love sand if it was like 8 feet tall and had a voice like that absolutely rabid he could stick his sand in so many places and I'd thank him crocodile is one of those guys i wanted to hate so bad and then went actually no i want this guy carnally Crocodile has some weird rizz goin on and i need to climb that sandcastle", "I'm so sorry but I need to eat crocodile's pussy", "With Sir Crocodile you can have Sex on the Beach. Literally. Plus he owns a casino so you could probably sip on the cocktail version too...while getting some cocktail.", "mafia vibes and style", "crocodile's got style. class. you will be wined and dined in the most exquisite way you can imagine", "He's got DADDY vibes", " One handsome mafia boss", "I love crocodile but also i wanna punch him and i feel like hes got the sandiest pussy/dick that shit will give me a rash", "my evilest baby boy", "Crocodile invented evil trans swag just saying", "im sorry az but crocodile was my dilf awakening", "in Crocodilf we trust",

Dragon: "the revolutionary scrungle dragon",

Doflamingo: "Dofy's got some wierd (potentially fun) energy but he would NOT treat you well he'd be awful", "The psychopathic pimp on a shoestring budget. Seriously dude, San Diego Zoo called and they want their flamingos back. That coat is so last season.", "fashion travesty", "Doflamingo dresses like an eye test and will probably steal your credit card by the end of the night not because he needs the money. because he finds it hilarious", "Mingo is just a spoiled frat fuckboy who's too full of himself to be interested in anyone/anything else", "a balding white man", "evil florida man my beloved they dont understand you", "Budget Pimp who robbed San Diego of their world famous Flamingo flock"

Eustass Kid: Pirate punk, "He's a sopping wet loser", "a man wearing eyeliner and nailpolish is by definition hotter", "my scrungy little fuck", he would also probably give me an STD and it would still be worth it

Franky: " Three words light up nipples"

Fujitora: "fujitora yes plz that like calm collected way he fights makes me KNOW hed take care of his partner real good", "have you seen how he slurps his noodles? I just know he could eat me out in ways I could never imagine"

Gol D. Roger: "the "Tom Selleck" of Pirates. He mustache'd the gold somewhere. You think these puns are bad wait until you hit my NSFW tags. Can't believe no one pointed those out yet, his name is a literal gold mine of innuendo. king of pirates? nah he's the king of rogering roger this roger that roger anyone he damn well pleases he has the D", "why does no one thirst after Gol like i do? youre all weak! cowards", "sorry but i am all about his dads mustache", " I can't be the only one that wants to ride that mustache"

Jinbe: "I wanna suck on the webbing between his fingers", does anyone else contemplate how soft Jinbe's tits are to lie on or is that just me?

Kaido: "beefcake beast of a man",

Katakuri: "I'm a monsterfucker at heart", "Katakuri is literally so good man he's a family man #he's badass he's got a great sense of honour you know I had to go for the mochi man", "donut king", "KATAKURI MY MOCHI MONSTER TEETH KING CHAMPION HUSBAND THAT I WOULD CLIMB LIKE A MOUNTAIN #I'M ALWAYS ON MY CLIMBING AGENDA WITH MY ONE PIECE KINGS!", "i just know this man would treat me right we love kata", "Kata definitely ticks that hot box"

King: "King is literally the most beautiful OP character you can't change my mind", "Gotta chose the melanin yknow", "king is so ajdhjdjdjchjd bark bark bark bark", "I saw King and decided he is my blorbo", "king of my [REDACTED]", " I know he's like 20 ft tall and I'm probably the size of his d*** but it would be worth it. I would gladly choose death by snu snu for one night with him"

Killer: "big tiddy murder boyfriend",

Marco: Bird daddy "Mr. Dr. Emotionally-Stable Scrungles", "surfer hippy electric blue glasses wing flapper", "DR. MMMMM", Fineapple

Luffy: "l am in the minority here I need luffy's gomu gomu no [REDACTED]"

Mihawk: The Vampire Pirate, Goth Dad, the sword father, Pirate Dracula, the big titty goth husband, "I think mihawk would treat you right. i want mihawk to treat me right", "I love his gay wine uncle energy", "I appreciate that he dresses Like That everywhere extra ass bitch", "hot vampire cowboy pirate", Morticia Addams, "Mihawk oozes 'step on me' energy",

Robin: "she has irresistible weird girl rizz", "big tiddy archaeologist gf"

Rosinante: "my insane clumsy tall dilf", "wife material", "he has cringefail dad swag", "rosi is everything to me actually. I would climb that tall clumsy king like a tree", "the klutzy mime", "he has that pathetic depressed clown vibe thats irresistible", "He's the epiome of strong but silent, he's the asshole with a heart of gold, he has everything", rosinante is hot tho and his clumsiness somehow enhances it", "I've said it before and I'll say it again I WOULD climb that clumsy king like a tall tree want to kiss him until his silly jester makeup is all over me too", "I am loyal to the guy who actively sets himself on fire",

Sabo: "bc he said killing woth lead pipes and then he just kept doing it its the crazy for me"

Sanji: fail wife, Cooking Daddy, "I NEED sanji to f*** me to tuesday and make me dinner before and breakfast after", "The man will feed you the best meal you've ever had and genuinely compliment something about you", "His fighting style is 'kick the problem until it goes away' and he chugs Love Women Juice", "he can cook and fight and he's damn fine while doing both"

Shanks: Margaritaville Himbo, "Dilflicious", "the deadbeat malewife wifi user", "I am a whole lesbian but if there were a butch girl version of these men I would let shanks ruin my life", "favorite guy in the local frat" He's probably a walking STD risk but he's hot and I'm a slut that has a thing for red heads, "the unwashed bitch", "LOOK AT THAT SCRUFF ON SHANKS the three scars on his face that smile", "my Scrungle drunk bastard", I would volunteer to be his next baby mama you know shanks got a few a dozen red haired children all over the grand line tell me I'm wrong," " The biggest fuckboy to ever whore about the Grand Line."

Smoothie: "ah...smoothie....or as i call her... one piece tsunade Imaoo", "ultimately my desire to be crushed by Smoothie's thighs won out", "SMOOTHIE. THANK YOU mommy long legs... gauhggfghgh......i want her to juice me pleeeeaaaseeeeeeeeeee /silly",

Silvers Rayleigh: "Silver Fox Rayleigh", "he's old but he can get it", "Rayleigh has that 'your daughter calls me daddy too' energy", "he's a gilf who married a literal queen", "rayleigh has spent his entire life SERVING CUNT", "Raiyleigh has that gilf energy despite having no kids", I need him in so many different ways I cannot list", "he has my heart around his little finger", "Rayleigh makes me howl like a dog I swear", "I mean come on look at his HAIR his GLASSES that incredible STARE even his wrinkles are hot", "Rayleigh got the 50 year anniversary in the bag idk why you would go for anything else", "helloooo????? Rayleigh is the hottest old guy in one piece please", "I would let rayleigh ruin me and I would thank him", "Rayleigh to me is more like a really smooth mead", "genuinely may be the hottest man of onep just like. objectively", "rayleigh you will always be famous for being the most fuckable old man ever. there may be dilfs galore out there but ur the only gilf in my heart", "that scene where Rayleigh gets out of the ocean shirtless After swimming to the island of women I actually said Daddy out loud",

Smoker: "Smokedaddy", "Smokestack. 'Ole Smokey. Smokin' Hot Smoker", "smokers allergy to keeping his Tits covered compels me", "i do love smoked sausage i'm sorry i'll see myself out", "smoker he's just so beefy like fuckkk and he's like almost 40 i just wanna be smokers lil housewife", "smoker is a beautiful lesbian to me", "smoked sausage I just *know* he's got more to work with than a cocktail weenie", "SMOKEYBEAR PAPA SMOKE MY KING i would smoke him like a chimney if you're pickin up what I'm putting down wink wink nudge nudge he really would kill my lungs but it'd be a fun time", "SMOKER PAPUCHO RICO I NEED HIM", "smoker is solid (despite being made of smoke)", "smoker. smo-yan. ultimate "guy who is allergic to wearing shirts" and honestly? he's so right for that. he needs to show off his tits! in a one piece man boob ranking he's coming number 2 (after crocodile) i said this in dms earlier today but it needs to be released to the world "fat d*ck fat tits fat ass he has it all" smoker is PACKINNNNN in every way he's genuinely so attractive, even just considering him physically and look at his sexy facial scar also (beck also has one. very good) and his slicked back short hair.....not to mention the things that are very endearing about him personality wise - he does masculinity like NOBODY ELSE. genuinely NO ONE does it like him like. he's gruff but he has a very strong personal moral code and he really *does* care..... the man's a tsundere and he's never been cruel to those undeserving like in his introduction - kids bumps into him, spills ice cream on his pants YOU KNOW WHAT SMOKER SAYS? YK WHAT HE SAYS? "my pants ate your ice cream." KILL ME NOWWWWWW HES SO FUCKING HOT IM EATING MY OWN HANDS and then he GIVES THE KID MONEY TO BUY MORE ICE CREAM. jesus christ smoker big d*ick big tits big heart i fucking love him good god", "something something vague moaning sounds I would call him smokey just to provoke him", "

Trafalgar Law: "DR. Slut", "He has them tattoos which makes me go fucking feral", "A stoner greasy boyfailure", "the edgy emo orphan boy with daddy issues", 'My tried stressed bitch", "law is hot because hes pathetic has tattoos and is the narrative's favorite punching", "i am DERANGED over a depressed formerly-suicidal surgeon",

Yamato: "I need my trans man big naturals...... I know nothing about one piece but yamato lives rent free in my brain and my heart at all times the only anime figure i have is of him and i don't even watch the fucking show", "he's new + he's trans + he's over 8 feet tall + he's a wolf god what more could you want?!", "he is filled to the brim with TRANSMASC SWAG", "it's transmasc dog boy swag for me he's my best boy", "Yamato's boobs call to me I need to motorboat yamato titties. whoa who said that", "yamato could crush me and i would thank him yes indeed", "I just found out Yamato is Literally a whole entire meter taller than me & that's all the convincing I need", "my canon transmasc king", "cant compete with is the fact that on top of beautiful yamato is just. fucking huge like i can not will not get over it every time i remember he's 8'7 in canon I'm like aaaAaaAaAAaAAAAaa kiss me on the mouth big boy", "as an aroace person. if yamato stepped on me id thank him. thank you for your time", "hes literally the whole reason i started watching/reading one piece

Zoro: "The President of the strawhat's local big titty committee", "The king of boobs", "Beautiful butch dyke wife", I would probably get an STD but it would be worth it, "his stupidity and gay attire make him very appealing", canonically the biggest tits in one piece, He got them big naturals, "Big honkabadonkaroo hoinkybadinkirs massive man tiddies Zoro", "Zoro oozes 'I won't let anyone hurt you' energy", "zoro is hot because of his big naturals

Zeff: "He will wine and dine me before leaving me lovingly bedridden the day after. And he actually takes care of his kid", "Zeff is honorable and can cook and clean and bathes and almost dies for a kid that's not his and then adopts him" He's got line cook energy. If you know you know

I definitely know I'm going to have to add to this since there's so many more characters and you all are definitely going to get more creative after seeing the list.

And a few observations. Why did Sanji make the daddy list and not Zoro? Characters that I thought would be short cliff notes turned into some of the longest sections And characters I thought would have some of the longest sections turned into some of the shortest ones. And I still think this was worse theyn JJK I just forget how unhinged this fandom can be because your unhinged craziness is dispersed amongst so many characters. And I haven't decided which fandom's next.

I now have my answer on why Sanji made the list and not Zoro. Overall the fandom is just thirsty so very thirsty. Hence the many updates to this list

Commentary added as of May 4th.

Characters that I never thought I would ever add to this post are on here and I am so confused. When I started this blog, I was warned that the JJK fandom was unhinged horny and thirsty AF. But in my opinion, the one piece fandom is much worse. Just look at this post for proof. One Piece you guys are definitely the thirstiest fandom by far I mean Catherine Devon has a section. You guys just hide it better than the JJK Fandom. Plus I do regret challenging a few of you to come up with tags as a joke because you definitely delivered

[szynkaaa]

I love that in the JTTW source material, Sun Wukong is never shown any romantic interest towards anyone and does occassionally make fun of Zhu Bajie and his escapades, but it's still very clear he loves the people aroud him. We love an aroace monkey king.

But I also really really really love that Black Myth Wukong adds their own twist and gave both Sun Wukong AND the Destined One (or rather his past reincarnation) love stories?? Sun Wukong has the tragedy going on with the White Bone Demon, he struck her three times to kill her (granted she did try to eat his master LOL), but he was never able to let her go and it is one of the many reasons why he wanted to leave buddahood behind and reject the celestial court.

With the Destined One, it is heavily implied in the game that the 4th spider sister was married to the previous Destined One (can I also add, excellent taste monkey, 10/10 I would marry her too), but obviously the prev Destined One carried on with his quest and well, probably never returned lol.

Anyway, I think it's a nice touch that each Destined One isn't just another reincarnation on a quest trying to become the new Sun Wukong, and that they can fall in love and get married too. The game doesn't tell us much about the Destined One's personality, with him being a silent protagonist so it's nice to see details like this.

[cha-lii]

scottish garp

iñaki’s accent

fight choreography

the music

ZORO GIVING THE MIDDLE FINGER

buggy as whole (surprisingly? i didnt even like anime buggy but la buggy is so good)

the way iñaki says nami

nami’s glasses

nami and zoro spending 5 minutes alone together and immediately reaching World Weary Parents status

USOPP (literally known him for 2 mins as i’m writing this and i love him already)

kaya’s bedroom please and thankyou

“you look like nami?” luffy you ace king

the whole wardrobe sequence, honestly

zoro eyeing up the gold shirt “👀👀👀👀👀👀👀…nice”

zoro in suit

luffy in black

usopp in open jacket

nami in nami

merry mi amor

nami and kaya friendship superiority

usopp asking luffy and zoro for relationship advice PLEASE

USOPP AND KAYA FUCK YEAH

WE ARE! FUCK FUCK FUCK YEAH

sanji is perfect

PATTY

baratie is perfect

sanji introducing himself to the crew then being so suave with nami

the scene with the bill - luffy signing it for some reason makes me feel warm and fluffy inside??? and calling sanji “my good man” and sanjis wee grin 👌

zoro ‘madam’ing nami

usopp and zoro making fun of nami and sanji, and luffy just looking confused af lil aroace king

any and all sanji cooking scenes

i want to drink at the baratie bar so fucking badly

sanji talking about the all blue was so fucking good

and sanji’s music!!!

USOPP DANCING FUCK YEAH

zeff and sanji being the ones to patch up zoro

luffy being so soft and affectionate with zoro when he wakes up

THE FACE CRADLE

[badass-queer-couples-battle]

Sword gays showdown, round 1 of bracket one

Propaganda:

For Felix:

Best sword fighting unit in the game outside of the MC. He cares so much about sword fighting it is almost his identity. 2 of is paired endings is basically “historians say they were great friends”. He died on the same day as his childhood best friend in one, in another he cried more than the kings wife when the king died .

He’s awful. Like actually so mean and that’s why we love him. But when push comes to shove he actually has one of the most unbreakable moral codes. Felix is bisexual in the most bisexual way possible. His three most popular ships include: a man he insists he hates but dies on the same day as because “they can’t live without each other”, a man who Felix insists he hates and after said man’s death Felix spends the rest of his life protecting his burial, and finally a nice woman that he really likes to hear sing and they become teachers together. He has brother trauma, after his brother’s death he HATES knights because of something his dad said. So he also daddy issues. In conclusion: Very mean, interesting taste in men, loves women, has daddy issues

For Alucard:

He has a sword that he can command to fly around. He's bisexual. He's depressed. He's both the direct opposite of his father and too much like him. He's part of the most disastrous polycule to ever exist. He's a jerk. I love him, he's very important to me.

Symphony of the Night has too much of a cultural impact to not have him be included here. He’s an aroace icon with a huge sword collection (he’s bisexual in the animated series). He has a flying sword familiar and a sword he can hold in his hands. Loves taking naps. 

[gothicgender]

Heeeeeeey I loved your Velvette head-canons !

But now I need somehting with Alastor. I want to see how accurate you can make him !

What do you think about some fluff with Alastor ? For example slowly dancing with him or visiting Cannibal town with him.

Thank you !

I was waiting for someone to request something like this.

I love Alastor but some fans just make him...less Alastor. He is a maniac and a sadistic man that warms up really slow to someone, like we see him with Nifty. Also he is a manipulator sooo yea...

Fandom : Hazbin Hotel

Type : one-shot

Genre : fluff/ romantic

Warnings : female reader, she/her pronouns used, aroace reader, manipulation, reader doesn't know how to dance, 20s slang used !

Summary : Slowly dancing with Alastor before the battle with Adam

''Whatever redemption really means, I know you all tried. I have seen the good in all of you. And it's...I-I'm just...I love you all, so much, and-and live tonight however you want because-''

''We're all gonna die!''

Those words echoed in your mind for the rest of the night. How were you, the others residents of the hotel and a bunch of cannibals going to battle against THE Adam and his exorcists ?

You couldn't help but look down at the others whiel they were having the night og their lives before the battle. Worry was filling your thoughts. How were you going to live ? How were you going to battle against them ? How were you and the others going to survive ? You sigh and look down at your hands.

''I dub thee, King Roach.''

''Oh, to understand your twisted little mind!''

Maniac laughter brings you out of your thoughts and make you turn to your left to see Alastor and Nifty laughing togheter. How could they be so calm and relaxed when they could be living their last night right now ?

''Why the sad look, my dear ? Like I always say, a smile is a valuable tool ! What's eating you, hmm ?'' Alastor asks you while Nifty rushes to kill some bugs. He lifts a hands to pinch your cheek.

''I'm not sad it's just that....I don't know, aren't you afraid for the battle ? What if we aren't going to make it ?'' You look back down at the others.

''Afraid ? Ha ! Why are you afraid ? With the weapons we have and my help, I think we are going to bumb off those useless beings'' He says his smile widening careless about the big event coming up.

''But...what if we don't ? I don't even know what to do. Charlie said to live however we want and everyone is except me. Aren't you going to do something to make this night memorable for you ?'' You ask Alastor, feeling desperate to do as many things as you could that night...just incase you don't get to do it ever.

Silence fills the air, the only sound being laughter and voices from the others that were at the bar.

Suddenly Alastor clears his throat to get your attention. He exteends a hand to you and leans forward a little.

''I suppose I have an ideea for the night.'' He says and waits for you to take his hand.

''...What is it ?'' You ask him, curious and weirded out at the same time.

''Just a little dance ! Back in the day when I was alive I would always impress the women I danced with. I was quite the hoofer around my town. Come on, baby, I know the best songs !'' He says with a the same big but prouder smile, holding your hand and bringing you closer to himself. He didn't like physical touch that much but it never harmed to dance.

''Alastor, no...'' You protest, as he pulls you away from everyone's eyes and a radio appears on the floor next to the two of you.

''Alastor..I can't really dance'' You sigh and look away embarrased. ''Ah, there's no need to worry my dearest ! Like I mentioned, I always was the wonderful, copacetic dancer ! Just follow my lead and you'll be a ritzy hoofer in no time with a teacher like me''

He says and then an old song from around Alastor's time begins to play. It was a slow but rather elegant song with a man singing about his lover.

Alastor begins to sway you around, holding one of your hands while his other arm was holding your back. I told you to hold his arm and you did, keeping the pace with him...or atleast trying.

''See ? You're already learning sweetheart ! There's no beef big enough to not be resolved, you are quiet a fast learning babe'' He says and begins to dance a little faster. You keep dancing with him as the music continues.

He continues to yap about how he used to dance and freqent a speakeasy. He explained his favorite dances that were the tango and black bottom, tho he only used to dance black bottom when he was really canned. It was a relaxing thing to do when everything was about to go downhill. The dance bought you a nice, pleasant feeling of relaxation as you moved along with the demon. The conversation went on as you kept asking him questions about his time in the 20s. He didn't respond to all the questions but atleast you got an ''I love jazz and used to play it at the radio.'' and a ''I didn't have much time to dance and visit the speakeasy but when I did I was the floorflusher''

You didn't realise when the dance slowed down and when your head begun to rest against his shoulder but suddently the music stops and Alastor pinched your cheek again to bring you back to your senses.

''It was a delightful experience (your name), but as the others went to rest I realised you indeed should too. So, break it up and go to bunk. I need to take care of something first. Sleep well, my dear and thank you for the dance. It really brought back memories.'' Alastor laughs and kisses your hand, a thing he always used to do after finishing dancing, then walks away while you make your way to the stairs. You thank him quietly with a soft smile, feeling just a little tad better.

A dance, 20s style one can sometimes make you feel better and think about something else except the battle.

So, I don't really like how this turned out but uhm- yea....anyway I used a lot of slang from the 20s because I imagine Alastor would most likely knew the slang I mean..he is a radio host.

I kind of rushed the end because I really didn't know how to end it plus it's late and I literally want to sleep so bad (My sleep schedule is really fucked up).

Hope you enjoyed it tho, I liked to reserch the slang.

Thank you for requesting, darling.

[ohwormwood]

random thoughts i have while playing isat pt. 7

[woe, spoilers be upon ye!]

opened the game and immediately went "im gonna make odile question my sanity!!!" but of course when i enter the house Siffrin decides to turn the scripted tutorial enemy into bean paste and ruins the run--

anyways. this panel will haunt me

i. i dont even know how but. I beat the king without him ever getting a chance to make his first attack. i just kept spamming slow and two jackpots later he was dead. i didn't even knoiw that was possible.

after a bit of fucking around i decided that i was gonna move on to act 5 and promptly burst into tears

update: i accidentally posted this too early dont look at me

sat and cried through the entirety of the party's interactions in act 5

screaming crying throwing up

even the king took one look at this dude and was like "are you good man like, you can take a rest before we do this you're literally about to topple over"

that post where odile says the oven copypasta during the mal du pays scene has permanently altered my brain and i literally laughed out loud when this line appeared

i haven't talked about it before but. a while ago i made a concept for a game based off the backrooms and omori, and odile talking about someone who is forgotten may not exist is the basis for the entire game's plot, it makes me want to go back and flesh it out a bit more!!!

i am deadset on the idea of making an edit with mirabelle's reflection craft but it's an uno reverse card

simultaneously in my brain: an edit where the sound mirabelle's reflection craft makes is the metal pipe meme

i am. such a fucking sucker for sickfics. i cannot get enough of them. act 5 has enough sickfic tropes to make a million spinoff fics on its own, it brings me life and i love it dearly

wailing

this line sends me into orbit every time i see it

odile attacking siffrin. hurts so, so so badly on an emotional level for me. Because like??? i get it. i get it and it sucks and she obviously doesn't want to, but she's scared. But siffrin is even more scared in that moment, and the immediate association of that pain with being hated by odile hurts me so much.

YEAHHHH ODILE GIRLBOSS SUPREME

they're so soft and squishy and cute in this image i c a n t

incoherent WAILING. this. this image. this image just about broke me. THEYRE SO HAPPY and RELIEVED, IT HURTS,,,

the tone shift to talking to the party afterwords is still so funny to me HJBDFBSBFH like lookit him. hes so smol. so silly.

we're kidnapping bonnie guys it's official

my honest reaction to this line: LESBIANS??????

and then she hits me with:

AND I LOST IT

more silly guy siffrin,,,,, my favorite

aaaa aAAAAAAAAAAA

ISABEAU'S SPRITE CHANGING TO BE DOING A HAPPY DANCE AFTER THE CONFESSION IS SOOOOO CUTE WAAA

bonnie and odile clapping for isabeau confessing will never not be funny but ALSO it implies the bonnie knew about Isa's crush. and i for one personally believe that they picked up on it from Odile's relentless teasing of Isabeau as the #1 Isafrin shipper

mirabelle: wait you had a crush on sif?????? and i didn't know????

my roommate, who is ace: this is the aroace experience for real,,,

literally all of the second interactions with Isabeau had me and my roommate SCREAMING

HOWLING LAUGHING

OK I NEVER KNEW???? THAT SIFFRIN TOLD ISABEAU ABOUT THE BAD TOUCH EVENT?????? IN CANON???? I ALWAYS THOUGHT THAT WAS A FANON THING BUT THEY ACTUALLY ADDRESS IT IN GAME AND???? ISA'S REACTION HAD ME ON THE FLOOR

siffrin: i kissed you once,,,,

isa:

the words "im being perfectly normal about this" is something i say on a daily basis so i relate to this wholeheartedly

AYO???????? ISA WHEN DID YOU BECOME SO SMOOTH????

this. this image. made my jaw hit the GODDAMN FLOOR. I WAS NOT MENTALLY PREPARED FOR IT AT ALL AND BOTH ME AND MY ROOMMATE S C R E A M E D WHEN WE SAW IT

LIKE???? HOLY FUCK SIF JESUSSSSSSSSSSS CHRIST???? how did isabeau not implode on the spot from that look bro howwwwwwwwwww

AND THEN. AS IF THAT WASN'T ENOUGH TO MAKE MY HEART START SOBBING. ISA BLOWS YOU A KISS???? AAAA???

annnnd scene!

i will continue playing to get some of the different loop endings and i totally plan on doing two hats in the future!!! so im not quite done with this game yet i just got impatient in act 4 and i needed the Emotional Catharsis of Act 5

[twosoulss77]

I don't know who needs to hear this, but you are allowed to have a favourite ship, canon or not, out of a particular show.

Shipping is just a way for artist and what not to explore different dynamics, or even their own. That’s why I believe we should let people enjoy what they like, without forcing our own image of a certain spectrum into them. Especially cause shaming those people, for trying to explore their identity through art, might cause actual harm to them or cause them to not enjoy doing what they like anymore, bc of hateful comments from someone who hides behind a fake identity to hate on a fictional ship, which in itself it’s a very sad and pathetic way to live, but just cause your life is miserable doesn’t mean you need to make others people’s life miserable you know. Go touch Grass when you feel like being a dick!!!

As an AroAce fellow with no desire for a sexual relationship, I applaud and adore all those people making content of my fav husbands, let it be a fics smut or just normal fluff, I love it all SO MUCH Hazbin Hotel ep 5 changed my whole chemistry, and Say what you will about radioapple / appleradio, but I will always be entertained by the idea of Lucifer angrily doing acts of kindness for Alastor because it's what ‘Charlie would want’, and Alastor being a stupid ‘Bambi’ and try to wiggle himself out of it at the beginning, but then realise that he actually doesn’t mind the king of hell company at all. Both slowly growing to actually tolerate and maybe even like being around the other. Exchanging snarky remarks in a more playful way, playing music together, telling dad jokes, hating on the same delusions glorified iPad …like there is so much potential there that it’s crazy how much it pisses people off. It might be cause I am a sucker for Enemies to Friends to Lovers, but by God if that isn’t the best trope.

I know there will be some smart people out there, that are gonna be like “Alastor is ace”, but so are half the people who ship him!!! I hate when people make assumption on us, on who and how we want to love. I might not be interested in participating in sexual stuff myself, but that doesn’t stop me to explore my own ace-spectrum with these two characters, who if they wanted to could and would kiss each other, Cause for one I says so, I have the power to make that happen *insert hysterical laugh* And second It was confirmed that Alastor is a repulsed Ace, but would also be down to date someone if they were strong asf, (Confirmed in a stream, take that with a grain of salt) still makes this ship more possible than others.

Al being Aroace, doesn't mean he can't date or have sex, he's just not all that interested in it, but that could also derive from the fact that he hasn’t found the right person yet, so it doesn’t feel important to him yet. (fun fact aromantic wasn't the part of my struggle accepting that I was aroace it was actually accepting I was ace bc of my hyper sexual tendencies)

Also Alastor being aro just makes radioapple infinitely more funny to me, or any relationship with him for that matter. He is just this 7 feet tall demon with zero interest in romance, but always managing to find himself having beef with someone, possibly a guy, and act like he is either about to kiss or kill him XD

I really needed to get this off my chest and I absolutely mean every thing I said in here. Everyone has their own likes and dislikes, but you'll be surprised to see how much happier you will be when you stop focusing on what other people are doing and instead focus on what you like.

Thanks for listening 😊💜

[wolfstaridiot08]

Feel like this needs to be done, so ALL of Conan Gray songs as marauders and co relationships (includes girls, and Slytherin Skittles, and black sisters)

Killing me - Remus to Sirius (the prank)

Lonely Dancers - Mary and Marlene (hear me out, they are dating Sirius and Remus and Sirius and Remus are clearly hitting it off in the corner drunk so they both sit there sipping their drink, and catch each other's eye and it's like "well, might as well" no real feelings but a nice one night thing)

Alley Rose - jegulus (Regulus worried James will lose him and then actually losing him)

Winner - Sirius to Walburga

Never Ending Song - A Potter and Pureblood Slytherin (Jegulus, Drarry, Scorbus)

Memories - 3rd book Remus to Sirius 

The Exit - Regulus to Sirius (imagine everytime the lyrics say girl, it's James)

Movies - Regulus to Barty (the ex is Evan)

People Watching - Peter (couple in beginning is Jily)

Disaster - Wolfstar

Best Friend - Platonic moonflower (it sounds like prongsfoot, but if you really listen closely it's not)

Astronomy - Nobleflower (it may sound like a Jegulus song but they have one like "socially speaking we were the same, with run away fathers and mothers who drank" that makes it Nobleflower not Jegulus, they're really similar if you think about it)

Yours - James before Lily noticed him

Jigsaw - Bellatrix to everyone (Rita, Voldemort, Her parents, etc;)

Family Line - Andromeda

Summer Child - James

Footnote - Unrequited Marylene

Telepath - Rosekiller

Overdrive - Pandalily

Heather - Regulus to James (Heather is Lily)

Maniac - Quillkiller

The Story - Sirius to Harry (boy and girl is Jily, boy and boy is Wolfstar, me and my friend, Regulus and Sirius) 

Wish You Were Sober - Marylily 

Comfort Crowd - Platonic moonwater

Online Love - Remus and Grant

Checkmate - Mary to Sirius

The Cut That Always Bleeds - Evan to Barty 

Flight or Fight - Sirius arriving after Azkaban to realize Remus has moved on with Grant (this was really hard)

Affluenza - Evan (just listen it's him)

(Can We Be Friends?) - Sirius and James meeting each other for the first time

Little League - The Marauders and co graduating Hogwarts and joining the war (I imagine it's mainly James, Regulus or Remus who are singing) (also the lyric "where did all my friends go" just screams marauders)

The King - Remus to Sirius 

The Other Side - Tedromeda (other side is away from the Black family)

Idle Town - The peace of Gryffindor tower

Generation Why - Platonic moonwater (They would totally run away and just do shit or cause trouble) (obviously not millennials but they didn't even exist at that point so 🤷‍♀️)

Crush Culture - Peter (my aroace boy) 

Greek God - Mary (Gossip Queen and Casanova of Gryffindor tower)

Lookalike - Sorry for this but Regulus to Sirius about James (other options; Regulus to James about Lily, Sirius to Remus about Grant, Pandora to Lily about Mary, or Lily to Pandora about Xeno)

Grow - The black brothers making it out of the family ("we made it out, it seems, I made it out, it seems") 

Fake - James and Lily to Snape (when they say breakup it would be about a friendship breakup)

[zer0brainc3lls]

My maze runner sexuality/gender headcanons!!

These are my opinions guys I don’t mind if you don’t agree lol :) fandoms are meant to be fun!!

Thomas: he is a bisexual if I have ever seen one. Literally saw Newt and teresa side by side and just died. 😭 Instantly. Yk that scene where nick in heartstopper (🏳️‍🌈) is watching pirates of the Caribbean with his mum and he sees those two characters and has a bi panic attack??? That.

Newt: GAYYYYYYYYYY 🫵🫵🫵🫵🫵🫵🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈 BOY KISSERRRRRRRRR!!!!!! In fever code I could imagine Minho saying “I wish we could meet the girls in group B” and Newt fr going “what? Why??”

Minho: either Pan or aroace. I cannot decide. I lean more towards pan for Minho tho 😭🙏 I could totally imagine him seeing people all coupled up and go “ew gross all I need is my handsome self 🤭” but yeah I think he’s pan 🫡

Sonya & Harriet: they are literally aris’s lesbian mums. I will not elaborate. That’s all I have to say. (Jk) MY FAV LESBIANS EVER!!!! I LOVE THEM SO SO SO MUCH!!!!

Aris: saw someone say he’s trans 🏳️‍⚧️ (ftm) and I have never agreed more in my life idc. I will not be convinced otherwise!!! “Uhm.. Canonically!!”LALALALLAALALALALALA 👉😽👈 *blocks ears and runs away*

Gally: unlabelled king!!! If you were to ask him what sexuality he is he would just go “nun ya” and walk off 😭 or “I like what I like” *shoulder shrug* 🤷‍♂️

Teresa: “Teresa likes Thomas!!” Whatttttt!!! Nooooo!!! That is a lesbiannnn!!! (Teresa being a lesbian in fanon is so near and dear to me. If we are talking canon wise I would say bi or straight but SHHHHHHHHHHHHH 🤫🤫🤫🤫🤫)

Brenda: exact same thing as Teresa 😭 Brenda and Teresa being a lesbian couple in fanon is my favourite thing ever gang!!!!! In canon I go: ew yucky but in fanon I go: HHEHEHEEHEHEHEHE I LOVE THEM SO SO MUCH 🤭🤭🤭🤭🤭 I love how in newtmas fics they just take Thomas’s two canon love interests and go “nah their gay for eachother” and I fw it HEAVILY.

All of Jorge’s kids are gay, he is their supportive single dad btw!! I’m ACTUALLY James dashner this is true!!!! Examples:

*Newt and Thomas walk up to Jorge hand in hand*

Thomas: uhh Jorge.. we need to tell you something…

Jorge: *spins around in chair to face them* yeah? What is it? Have you done something???

Newt: no no!! Uhm.. we’re… together.. as in dating..

Thomas: Is that ok..?

Jorge: oh that’s fine, happy for you. No more sharing hammocks though

Newt and Thomas: WHAT?!?! :(

Jorge: there will be no hanky panky in this house!!!! (Heart stopper reference, would he ever say this? Prob not but shh)

Brenda: please don’t say hanky panky.

-

Brenda: Jorge I think I like girls

Jorge: I know?

Brenda: WHAT???

Jorge: a father always knows!!

[nyatbinary-81]

sigh. let me dig through my texts....

ok its really long and incoherent. have a read more. enjoy 👍

so i cant find the Beginning of it but presumably it went something something Fakir Fucks Up and dumps them in the DSMP where they land in las nevadas, turning them both into dsmp-style hybrids (duck a duck of course, and fakir a wolf), and quackity hires them because hes Desperate. later decided they got separated and quackity reunited them. duck was really good at working in the casino bc shes so Charming. fakir was cringe and mean and no one liked him to the point where quackity made him wear a uniform with 'KILLJOY' emblazoned across the front. and a sign over the corner he stands in saying "Ignore the buzzkill". also duck figured out what skates are and loved them so much theyre part of the uniform. shes also terrible at using them. fakir tends to help catch her balance, and walks exclusively on the toe stoppers out of spite.

duck is (very awkwardly) befriending techno in order to get him away from philza (< this is the awkward part bc shes a Terrible liar and thus not a good spy) on account of crows and in doing so accidentally joins the syndicate and befriends ranboo to the point where she ends up babysitting michael. she also ends up enemies with tommy in the way teenagers are bc he Insulted Ballet and wont put his Heart into Dancing >:( also she finds the self aggrandizing jokes cringe. tommy also tries to flirt with her on account of his whole "im tommyinnit and i love women" thing but duck doesnt even register herself as a woman and just calls him Weird and moves on. and maybe bites him. fakir also thinks tommys cringe for not putting his heart into dancing to the point of trying to fight him and while ducks getting between them she accidentally reveals to tommy that everyone told her to Avoid him which upsets him bc he didnt fucking know that and duck and fakir realize at the Same Time that tommys doing Bad, Actually, and now duck wants to fix it but she doesnt have tutu to help and shes spinning SO many plates already.

ALSO because fakir is cringe and suspicious of Everyone Except Duck, he fails to notice the actually suspicious people who kidnap him! because duck broke skeppy out of the eggs control which makes it Panic and now fakirs bait in a big birdcage. L. duck, however, has charmed so many ppl she manages to get quackity and techno working together to save her bestie. except they keep arguing about it so she has to keep >:( ing at them. meanwhile the egg is trying to take over fakir by promising him the power to protect duck but it fails bc he remembers the ravens blood thing and then he monologues at it for a solid minute before he remembers hes talking to a fucking egg, pauses midsentence, and gets laughed at by the egg for it. L. egg also tells him it Knows ducks coming for him and this is a big trap but he has no way to tell her. hes having a terrible time. not even being fed. duck also trips and grumpily mentions that TUTU wouldnt have tripped which shuts quackity and techno up as they realize they dont know jack shit abt her past and they actually Care about her. yayyy theyre civil with each other now. anyway they get ambushed when they get there and duck is INSISTING they can solve this peacefully and yells at everyone to stop, which gets quackity and techno to stop bc theyre both trying to prove theyre a better friend than the other, which gets the eggpire to stop bc holy shit techno yielded to this TEENAGE GIRL. and she starts to talk to bad, which works bc she talked to skeppy, and successfully un-eggs him. this causes the egg to tell the rest to kill her, but techno has been inching towards fakirs cage so he pickaxes a hole into it and slings fakir over his shoulder as quackity grabs duck and they start RUNNING. on the way out, quackity gets caught (techno saves him bc god dammit duck CARES about this idiot) and duck gets a bad slash to the calf (unnoticed until they reach technos cabin) which pisses off fakir. relevant bc techno solves this with a god apple which is Totally Not Overkill and therefore funny enough to be included. also it contributes to all of their crises. as well as duck trying to convince techno to give fakir one, too, on account of him looking like death from the whole Ordeal. and coughing up red sludge.

at some point duck finds out quackitys fiances were mean to him and she goes to yell at them bc thats her Friend (without telling quackity) and um. hm. thats actually where our discussion stops, but PRESUMABLY she fixes their marriage by virtue of actually Telling Ppl Things (through yelling). or something. or makes them realize Somethings going on with karl. idk.

Is it crazy to say I have a DSMP Princess Tutu AU?