#aro creatives

[the-ellia-west]

HOW TO WRITE ROMANTIC ATTRACTION FOR DUMMIES

For anyone who wants to learn, (especially aro/ACE, aspec, ect.)

Requested by the lovely @darkandstormydolls

Alrighty! Welcome back or welcome to my blog! I'm dipping my toes back into the category of posts that gained me my exposure!

So if you're here, you want to know how to write romantic attraction/romance!

Strap in and let's begin!

(Pls spread this to people you think would benefit from seeing it, or anyone who requested it bc I forgot, ANY ASPECS)

Step one -

Your characters must admire one another at the beginning, Romantic feelings usually do not present themselves as obvious until you really think them through, meaning your characters may not notice they have a crush until it's too late

These are general statistics and light stereotypes. So feel free to not use this tip:

Male characters usually tend to notice physical things first, like body shape, hair, skin, clothing, the way their lover moves, ect

And Female Characters Generally tend to notice more small things and personality-based traits first, like their lover's humor, speaking mannerisms, shifts in expression, ways they fidget, emotion in their voice, ect.

And someone who is in love will generally show more interest in this particular person's movements, actions, words, and anything in general.

Step 2 -

The character will show more interest in sharing their love language with their lover/crush

Physical touch - People with physical touch love languages may want to hold hands, cuddle, hug, or just lean on their crush whenever they are close to them moreso than they want to with others

Gift giving - Gift givers will want to get more gifts more often for their crush, probably thinking of them whenever they see little trinkets or wanting to get them big gifts for special occasions or signs of appreciation

Acts of Service - Acts of service people will offer to do extra favors and a bunch of extra stuff they don't have to do twice as much as normal

Words of Affirmation - Flattery, they will generally flood their crush with kind words and compliments

Quality time - Quality time people will want to spend time with their crush at almost every turn, and when they want company, will turn to their crush first

Step 3 -

After a while, these urges while become very prominent and more noticeable to the person having them

They may find themselves fantasizing about their crush or having them show up in their thoughts more and more, feeling nicer and happier when they're around, or when they're thinking about them

Smiling when they think about them, cutsey little fluff thingies like that

A crush is essentially: I want to date that, I want to be near that always, I want to marry that, I want that to snuggle me (or other love languages)

Or in simpler terms: if that asked me out, I would say yes (or at least want to say yes if your character is in denial)

Step 4 -

The character's urges to be close to this person grows strong enough that they do smth about it, whether prompted by another character. Or they just don't know I how to not anymore (like when you wanna eat candy and you don't want to, but you do anyway bc I JUST NEED THE CHOCOLATE OKAY?)

(Or for Aro/Ace, garlic bread)

People who are in love are generally very prone to be all dreamy and poetic and VERY EXTREMELY BIASED towards their crush

Then Yada Yada they kiss & shit

You're welcome, BYEEEEEEEE 👋

Happy writing!

Love you! Thanks for reading, And Ghost Tumblr Mother says go drink some water and have a snack, you've earned it, and you are beautiful <333

Have a good day! :]

@blue-kyber @thisisntrocket @cosmolumine @i-do-anything-but-write @paeliae-occasionally

@supercimi @the-letterbox-archives @sunglasses-in-the-bentley @vyuntspakhkite-l-darling @artsandstoriesandstuff

@corinneglass @wyked-ao3 @urnumber1star

[evilgabe29]

one of the perks of being Aroace is that now i can ask someone "what is love" as a genuine question. like as if im a space robot that's being harbored in a 12 year old girl's room. now that i think about it that premise is a bit fucked up eh? like the whole love is a part of being human type shit.

now I can't stop imagining one of those types of stories but the person is aroace like:

"what does love feel like?"

"fuck if i know"

I can't stop thinking about this, i need to write this, ill be right back

[altschmerzes]

honestly i just think I will fundamentally never understand the very common (and sometimes posited as universal which i don’t love) sentiment among aromantic people/communities that like. oh one part of aromanticism is Not Understanding Or Caring About Or Getting The Point Of the line between friendship and romance, the distinction of different types of relationship. because for me as an aromantic person that line and distinction is actually Extremely important and clear and it feels… weird and bad to consistently see it posited as this like. Prominent Aro Thing to not understand/care about that.

ACTIONS will never inherently be allotted to one type of relationship or another, and the only feeling that is inherently romantic is romantic attraction/love, but the like. labeling itself of relationships and feelings and actions based on the person or people involved… idk. THAT is very important to me. it is Very Important to me that it’s extremely clear that none of my relationships or actions or feelings are or ever will be romantic and it’s important to me that those labels are seen and respected. it’s important to me in my personal life, and it’s reflectively important to me in the stories i tell and the ones i interact with.

idk. people are obviously welcome to the sentiment and i dont begrudge them having it and maybe im misunderstanding what this means when people say it. but it does make me feel a little anxious and once again the odd guy out in my own community to constantly be seeing this posited as like. An Inherently Aromantic Quality to not understand the difference between types of relationship or the point in differentiating. it will always be critically important to me that romance has and will have no place in my life or relationships. once i learned it was possible not to feel romantic feelings or attraction - and i accepted that it was true for me - everything became very clear to me at that point. ‘how do you Know’ i just know. I Just Know. and that matters to me.

[nondelphic]

romance writers: “okay but how do i make this kiss emotionally devastating... like, they kiss, but somehow both of them are crying about it??”

[the-merry-otter]

A collection of my silly little medieval valentines from previous years, for your enjoyment <3

[incognitopolls]

We ask your questions so you don’t have to! Submit your questions to have them posted anonymously as polls.

[aroworlds]

This is something of a sequel to my original essay on being loveless.

It's also a discussion of the ways love is wielded against allo-aros, the a-spec community's ongoing conflation of love and attraction, and the impact allosexual aromanticism has on my lovelessness.

Because too often, unfortunately, I see loveless aromantic identity communicated and celebrated so as to exclude me, and other allosexual aros, from it.

I hope that's something we can begin to change this Aro Week.

[psudopod]

Why are asexual, aegosexual, and aromantic people so good at writing romance stories? Because sex and romance are fantasy fiction for us; just like there's magic in fantasy fiction about fairies and dragons, we know to add . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁ magic . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁ to the romance story.

[very-gay-poet]

I think a downside of being an aromatic author is that I have no idea the difference (or how to portray) between platonic/romantic so everyone's going to be a little in love with each other

[enchanted-lightning-aes]

Where is the broody bad boy archetype who's genuinely not interested in (mostly romantic) love bc he's... aro? And that is the twist, not bc of some sad backstory but 'cause he's aro and not interested?? Thus, doesn't fall for the plucky protagonist who thinks they can fix him??? And he just wants to mind his own business and stay out of it??? 😤

[arlecchinasmainblog]

So…maybe I’ve been living under a rock or smthn, but I’ve been seeing a LOT of RadioApple lately. (Not that there’s anything wrong with that;)

And like, I get it. It’s funny cuz their arguing over who’s a better dad and shit but like…

Has nobody thought of a joke about Lilith and Alastor having a passionate love affair for seven years? Like obviously it’s not canon (for many reasons) and there’s prolly somthn more sinister goin on but that would be so fucking hilarious.

Alastor: I’m not just a step-dad, I’m the dad who stepped up!

Lucifer: I’m gonna step on you!

Alastor: That’s what she sai-

*Que cat fight noises*

[the-ellia-west]

hey i’m aro/ace and saw your post on writing romance and it was really helpful,,, but do you have any tips for writing enemies to lovers? mostly enemies-allies-lovers pipeline

Oh Absolutely! Thank you so much for the ask, love!

How to Write Enemies to Lovers for Dummies

Alrighty! So, the key to Enemies to Lovers is Banter. They need to be the type of Enemies to trash talk each other

Before we begin here's some fun psychology facts that make Enemies to Lovers even more fun!

1. If you think someone is hot, you can't/don't actually hate them

2. The opposite of love is indifference not hate (use these as you will)

Anywayssss

Step one!

Writing Enemies to Lovers is the same as normal except that you add on the extra step of them being enemies first, adding more drama and banter throughout

So, you have to make them enemies, naturally. Figure out why they're enemies, why they would specifically hate each other instead of someone else.

Step two

Preferably, make it personal.

Make their arguments and fights feel more like they're fighting each other, and not the actual battle if they're in opposing organizations or something

Step three

Close proximity

Now that you've established how they usually act around each other and their usual banter, find some way to force them into close proximity.

Like one switches sides and the other is now their boss, they're kidnapped together, their bosses go missing, ect.

In close proximity, you want to jeep their former dynamic, but it slowly turns at the least, a bit more polite because they have to work together

(Think about how they'll try to undermine and push each other away according to their personality and morals - but of course make sure it doesn't work and they're still stuck together)

Step four

Give them a 'maybe we could have been friends' moment

Like have them look at each other after a while and go: 'maybe you're not so bad.'

Any of these variations

Step five

Make them talk

Eventually, your characters will be alone together, and they have to talk.

(It's best if one or both of them are in an emotionally vulnerable state)

One of them can ask the other a strangely nice or vulnerable question, they can tell them something, anything really

Examples: 'Have you ever thought about dying?', 'do you ever miss home?', 'you know... I always thought you were better than me.'

Step six

Have them be slightly more compatable by having them voluntarily work together, like coworkers or comrades rather than friends

Step seven

The friends stage

Have them be more friendly and trusting, partners in crime, good friends, and have that slowly develop (make sure to keep their trademark banter throughout)

Whatever level of friends, whether it be aforementioned partners in crime, kinda friends, normal friends, best friends, ect.

Step Seven

The falling for them

Then we develop the crush and eventually fall in love, *refer back to my other post*

[whereserpentswalk]

As a neopagan I have a very specific type ot solidarity with ace/aro people when it comes to representation.

If you are writing a character, even a non-human character, who doesn't experience sexual or romantic attraction, you are writing a queer character, and in many speculative settings an entire queer species or race. You did not invent a new fictional concept. It's fine to write this but if you're uncomfortable with the fact that this makes your character queer you might want to reconsider the implications of your text.

If you are writing a modern setting where polytheistic gods are in the narrative and interacting with your characters, you're writing a setting where neopaganism is pretty much the correct religion, and a lot if not all of your human characters would be considered neopagan. You did not invent a new fictional concept. It's fine to write this but if you're uncomfortable with the fact that this makes your characters a minority religion you might want to reconsider the implications of your text.

Representation isn't good when people act like the entire concept of the group they're representing is something they made up for their story.

[leahnardo-da-veggie]

Love, or the lack thereof

I do not know what love is. I have never felt my heart racing as my lover caresses me, though I have a lover. He loves me, that much is certain. I recognise it in his smile, his awkward joy at being by my side. I wish I could say the same for me.

I do care for him, the way one would care for a friend. I enjoy physical contact with him, for us humans are social creatures. But… I do not love him. I have never felt love. I will never feel love. When I was younger, a wisp of a girl surrounded by friends muttering of 'love', I asked them what it was. They said it was butterflies in their stomachs. I have never eaten a butterfly, and would not know. They said it was wanting him in your life forever. I do not wish to live forever. They said love was love, and could not be described any other way. I did not know what to think of that.

For the longest time, I thought love was lust. It seemed simple enough to me. The loins were hardly that far from the heart, now were they? But on and on my friends would go: 'He is only after me for my body', 'All she can think of is sex', 'I want someone who loves me, rather than lusts for me'. So it seemed that was not the case. Then, was love friendship? I did feel warmth in my heart when I beheld the ones dear to me. I did want them by my side, for as long as time and fate would permit. So I asked my mother that. She laughed at me for that. It turned to pity when she realised I truly meant my question. She told me I would know love when I felt it. So it was decided. I had to find love. I looked for it in the movies and the soap operas, watching romances uncomprehendingly. I looked for it in the classroom, the office, the flings and love triangles and entanglements. I looked for it in my own heart, in the hand I held as I walked, in the crook of my lover's smile.

I never did manage to find it.

It should pain me, this lack of love. It should ache like a hole in my chest. Everything and everyone have said it does, after all. Yet it does not. How could I want what I do not understand? It is hardly precious to me, merely confounding. What does pain me is the things I can never have because of this lovelessness.

It pains me that I must someday apologise to him for leading him on. It pains me that I do not know if what I did was leading him on. Sometimes I think I was leading me on, looking for something I knew, deep down, would never be found. I do not think he would understand, any more than my mother or my friends understood. I barely understand it myself.

I suppose all I have to say is: Icannot be sorry. Not for who I am. Not for who I will always be. Not even for what most would consider heartlessness.

Taglist:

@coffeeangelinabox, @dorky-pals, @calliecwrites, @kaylinalexanderbooks, @shukei-jiwa

@thewingedbaron, @pluppsauthor, @cowboybrunch, @wylloblr, @possiblyeldritch @ramwritblr, @urnumber1star, @tragedycoded, @bigwipscholar, @ratedn

@vampirelover890, @possiblylisle, @illarian-rambling, @the-ellia-west

@finicky-felix, @evilgabe29, @glitched-dawn, @rivenantiqnerd, @dragonhoardesfandoms

@drchenquill, @everythingismadeofchaos, @owldwagitoutofyou, @dimitrakies, @beloveddawn-blog

@riveriafalll, @the-golden-comet, @rascaronii, @trippingpossum, @real-fragments

@xenascribbles, @unrepentantcheeseaddict, @the-inkwell-variable

(Anyone else who wants to get added can tell me in the comments, pm me, or send me an ask about it!)

[anonamelie]

me: *writes an aroace character that tames dragons and giant moss beasts with her bestie.*

my friend: “are they love interests?”

me: “no. they just tolerate each other for the dragons.”

my friend: “oh! nice! dragons are fuckin’ awesome.”

me: (filled with absolute euphoria) “yes they are!”

[cupidsaro13]

yk, sometimes i wonder if i rly am AroAce... I am rly fond of particular people and would not oppose romantic or sexual intamacy if they asked (Which they wouldnt.) and i go "was it a maturity thing? now that i am older, where my parents right?" Then i look at ppl my age and up getting into romantic relationships and talk abt their partners and all the crazy shit that brings and i'm like "nope, still AroAce."