#aro ask game

[aroacesafeplaceforall]

10 for arospec ask game. I need aro rants

Once you see it you can't unsee it, its everywhere it bleeds into everything and it sucks. That show i use to like? They make jokes about those who don't want to be in a relationship or aren't in one. That song i use to blast? A love song that says everyone will find someone some day. That book? Soulmates, everyone has one, you'll find someone someday, theres someone for everyone.

[toribookworm22]

Happy aro week!!

6. do you own any arospec pride merch? if so, can we see?

10. what frustrates you the most about amatonormativity?

Hey, Feather! Thanks for the aro ask, love! 💚

6. Do you own any arospec pride merch?

Why, yes, I do!

Technically, half my stuff could be aro, because I love green so much, but here's what actually:

Top image is a giant canvas with a design I made for a T-shirt (which I can't currently find 😂), that my mom actually ordered as the canvas for my b-day.

10. What frustrates you the most about amanormitivity?

Oof, okay, lot to choose from.

I think it really is the fact that amanormitivity is baked into everyday life and that, because of that, most people are so blind to it.

Amanormitivity hurts a lot of people-- allos too-- but it's incredibly toxic to young people who don't know they're aro. Being aromantic never hurt me or made me hate myself. Amanormativity, this nonstop idea that there was something wrong with me if I didn't fall in love? That's what's deadly.

[pending-dope-username]

10 from the arospec ask game?

number 10: what frustrates you the most about amatonormativity?

i would probably have to say the push for it to be the only right way. that it constructs this belief that romantic love is what makes us human. amatonormativity is a very harmful thing. it leaves people out of experiencing strong friendships. personally, as an aromantic, i feel it is important to have the ability to go out on little dates with your friends, whether you have a partner or not. and just the fact that it is deemed to be the only way to have a successful and fulfilling life is complete and utter bullshit. forcing everyone to accept that they're less than and lonely if they aren't romantically involved with someone can put lots of people in dangerous situations. it's not just harmful to our arospec community but also the alloromantic community. especially for women because most times they are pressured into relationships they don't want. this can be said about men as well.

what frustrates me the most about amatonormativity is the fact that it is seen as the only right way to exist and anything less is unacceptable.

[sevarix-blogs]

13 10

13. if you feel romantic attraction, what is your romantic orientation?

i do not feel any romantic attraction! so i'd say i'm just aro

10. what frustrates you the most about amatonormativity?

honestly? everything. the fact that it's everywhere. seeps into everything. it dominates all forms of media. it goes hand-in-hand with aphobia. it's a horrible thing that is bad for everyone. (yes even allos)

[demiro-allosexual-culture-is]

10 and 18 for the arospec ask game if it isn’t too late?

10. Probably what frustrates me the most about amatonormativity is that monogamy and having children is expected? I think personally I am way more frustrated by aros misusing the term to call aplatonics who like romance "amatonormative" and hate on people for not prioritising friendship and family(Im extremely disgusted by both and any nonrose things so I must be these aros' nightmares or something lol), and Im very frustrated by platonormativity. I like romance sometimes, and I'm from a romance negative culture that frowns on romance and emphasizes arranged marriage instead, and that is something I want to avoid. Romance, however, under the right conditions I do want to engage in.

And I prioritise my sexual and romantic-sexual partners over everyone else, I don't want any other close relationships at all and of course Id value my partners and myself over other people. Thats just how I function. If I didn't have partners, I would prioritise myself over other people mainly. I can't say I feel very impacted by amatonormativity just because Im arospec, but again Im not living in America right now so obviously the way it is in my culture varies greatly from a theory created in the context of the western world.

But about the norms in my culture, I feel like its that people wouldn't understand my romantic-sexual or sexual relationships because its w other headmates in my system, so Id appear single since we aren't open about being plural irl. Some of my peers may think its weird that Im aro, bc they may think queerness is weird. But a lot of them are very careful about romance because of romance negativity and how their family may not approve (yes, even 'cis straight passing' romance), yet expect people to feel romantic attraction. Some of them just seem to resign themself to the idea of being married off in an arranged marriage because thats what their parents want. Maybe some genuinely want that for themself, Im not exactly sure? but I don't want that, and I have partners already.

Basically I will never relate to wanting arranged marriage, and the way I approach romance is not traditional bc Im demiromantic allosexual and nonfriending aplatonic(I can't perform friendship, which is expected as a precursor to romance), and polyamorous/polyerosous. I feel like because the opposite is expected, the way I require a sexual relationship to even feel romantic attraction and a desire to be in a romantic relationship may be frowned upon due to sex negativity and amatonormativity in general, and bc that deviates from the arranged marriage norm where I live. And I don't want to raise kids (not even as a single parent or coparent), and thats a 'step' often expected in romance and marriage, although my current partners don't particularly require that in a relationship. And all that is what I feel makes amatonormativity or an equivalent to it, impact me in my culture.

I think that either amatonormativity should be broadened to include similar enforcement of societal norms that aren't covered by just talking about white european or american norms, or other terms should be coined to refer to this. I feel like either ppl online are narrowing the scope of what amatonormativity includes, or they are being overly eurocentric and americentric about it. I feel the way Elizabeth Brake's theory is explained definitely doesn't fully explain the attitudes in my culture about romance and marriage. And that is very likely because it was formed in a western context.

18. I only ship romantic-sexual and sexual ships. I can't say Im really invested in reading about romance aspects but more so the attraction? I relate to feeling romantic and sexual attraction which is probably why I ship those ships. Im kind of repulsed by nonsexual-in-intent ships that are romantic so I never ship them. I avoid fiction where the romance is stated to have no sexual attraction bc it repulses me. Sometimes I get really bored of a ship once it becomes canon, like theres no more suspense or anticipation I guess? (example - Lumity in the owl house). I don't like slow burn because its extremely boring and often involves friendship, which Im repulsed by.

I think sometimes I may ship characters or focus on shipping just because it makes me feel sick to think about friendship, even in media. Considering the characters as romantically or sexually involved is not repulsion inducing so I prefer it. I also hate ships where ppl write them as telling each other they are friends as well as partners, or friends to lovers bc ew (plato repulsed).

Either way the main type of shipping I prefer is sexual self shipping because I have fictional sexual crushes(I never feel romantic attraction to fictional characters) I ship myself with, sometimes also fluff or romance-coded self ship content that I feel like I can interpret as having sexual attraction as the intent. I may also avoid canon or fanon ships of characters I have crushes on, if it causes me to feel jealous.

arospec ask game :

[disasterdemi]

4, 10 :)

4. Are you out as aro?

So I'm going to borrow my answer from... oooh maybe 2 years ago...? since I can't think of a way to improve on the wording: I'm not "in".

Like if someone asked me I'd tell them (as long as I felt safe), and I've got some pride accessories and an instagram highlight about aro stuff. But because I didn't grow up with assumptions/defaults from my immediate family about my orientation, "coming out" isn't really an experience I relate to.

But I mean now that I've known for a few years and am pretty passionate about it I do find more opportunities to bring it up in conversation lol

10. How long have you known you are aro?

Nearly 3 years now since I came across the term "demiromantic" and went wait a minute...

Thanks for the ask 😊💚

[crimson--freak]

8 and 10 for the arospec ask game!

8. What are some of your favourite arospec characters (popular media or OCs)?

I actually don’t have many aromantic characters that I’m a massive fan of, but I do really enjoy Georgia Warr from Loveless. Her realisation of her being aroace and her journey through hesitation and denial and finally acceptance is pretty compelling, and I think her struggles both with her own and her friends’ amatonormative ideas are really relatable. It also portrays the romance averse/repulsed experience really well (in my opinion). In the book I was kind of put out by the fact that other aspec experiences weren’t really mentioned or explored (especially the concept of lovelessness within the wider aromantic community, since the book in itself is called Loveless), but one book can only cover so much - and it did cover a lot by mainstream book standards! So yeah Georgia is one of my favourite aro (ace) characters even if I didn’t really enjoy some stuff in the book.

As for OCs, I haven’t really developed any of them that much, but Asa (who I’ve only ever posted about once or twice) is aromantic and non-partnering! He’s my best girl and works as a half-bartender-half-bouncer in a club, along with her housemate Tiffany. I’ve considered making other characters aspec as well, but they’re even less developed than the two protagonists, so I don’t really know about them yet.

10. What frustrates you the most about amatonormativity?

Probably my biggest gripe is the concept of the soulmate, or “The One”. It’s frustrating in that it ignores both arospec and polyam experiences (although I can only speak from the arospec side of things). Of course it’s very popular idea, but I get really annoyed when people are seen as “incomplete” without them e.g. “your other half”, not being “whole” without a partner. Although I do like some romantic stories (and even some where characters are so codependent that the idea of being incomplete without the other could in some senses apply), I just feel weird that the concept is so widely prevalent in the real world too, especially when people claim that “Everyone Has A Soulmate”. Of course there are many aspects of amatonormativity that annoy me but that’s the major one.

[kenapiece-main]

sending u more for the ask meme okay? 7, 17, 18, 19

mwah ily <3

7. Are you interested in relationships on a personal level? If so, what is your ideal relationship type? -> *Looks at you pretending like you're not my partner* Well well well what a difficult quastionnnnnnnnn JK I'm personally interested in intimate personal relationships, and I have nooooo idea what the idea exactly looks like as long as one condition is met; that I never feel pressured to bring something into the relationship that isn't me. <3 oh and also a deep forgiveness for my horny ass brain.

17. What advice what you give to questioning alloaros? Or newly discovered alloaros? -> Love yourself. Aggressively love yourself and what you are, no matter how much you think you are incomplete. celebrate the freedom of the free space being aro provides instead of mourning the... loss(?) of something you never, or barely ever, had!

18. If you could summarise your alloaro identity in one or two sentences, what would you say? 19. What do you wish people knew about being alloaro? -> Both are already answered here! :D

[aggressivelyarospec]

6,11, 15 for the aro ask game?

Thank you!  I already answered number 11 here and 15 here.

6. What is your favourite part about being aromantic?

To be completely honest, I don't have to worry about the entire dating thing. Of course this is my personal experience, I'm aware there are aros out there that enjoy or go to dates, but I don't experience romantic attraction of any sort and I even was romance-repulsed for a few years back then, so the thought of having to do all the rituals and follow the secret rules that come with dating... no, thank you.

I'd like to think there's a better way to meet and fall in love with someone, but that doesn't seem to be the allo standard for romantic relationships and I'm not made for it.

And the cool thing about being my particular brand of aro is that I'm not stressed about it! Like my single allo friends who suffer because they're single. And I do want long term, committed friendships, but I believe those happen more organically, I don't know.

As you can probably tell, my vision is very biased. I'm 30+ and I've never been on a date, so I could be wrong but still not interested.

Also, we're able to see the bigger picture. We have this entire world of different types of relationships and ways to feel attraction or form connections that they seem to be unaware of. And that's pretty awesome, if you ask me.

— Caro

Aromantic Ask Game

[just-a-honey-badger]

10. How long have you known you are aro?

ty!

this is interesting because it was so recently; i would have to say around two to three weeks ago lol

[an-inspired-eternity]

2, 13, and 23 :]

2. Name one character you headcanon as arospec just because you feel like they are

for a more obscure fandom take. nio from akuma no riddle is aro TO ME.

^ real

13. Name two or more characters you think are in a queerplatonic relationship

oh you KNOW i'm on that t4t qpr mizurui grindset babey!!!!!!!!

23. Free question: drop a random aromantic related fandom thought

i toe such a fucking dangerous line between “yeah i like shipping i think shipping is fun” and “i swear to fucking god not every character dynamic needs to be made romantic. holy shit. oh my fucking god” and i don't wanna say it's entirely because i'm aro but dear god it is part of it!! similarly i also hate shipping wars for this exact fucking reason. especially when people try to make it a morality problem for ships that aren't a moral issue to have

[moved-to-piersgender]

6 for the aro ask game !!

6. What is your favourite part about being aromantic?

The freedom and the right to define my own life. I see friends of mine with this huge pressure to pair off, date any moron they had a few coffees with, to stick with unhealthy relationships because being single is a death sentence to society, and I think "damn I'm glad I don't have that mysterious internal impetus to do all that shit". I never have to combine my life with someone, I get to have alone time, there's no expectation I have to subsume my whole identity in someone else's, no stupid Valentine's day gift exchanges, wedding and children.... I can do whatever the fuck I want.

[toribookworm22]

for the arospec ask game, 1, 15, 16

Hey, Chance! 💚 Thank you for the aro ask!

1. When did you realize you were arospec?

May of 2022!

I had never heard of the word until I was doing character identity research and it wad late at night when it just suddenly clicked.

15. What are some things you associate with arospec identities?

So most of the things I associate have come straight from Tumblr or other aro blogs, but:

Absolutely anything green, specifically 💚, froggies, dragon scales, SHARKS, and my personal favorite: our mascot the Dino.

16. Do you have any arospec OCs? If so, tell us about them.

There's an argument to be made that literally all of my characters ever are arospec, because I thought I was writing them experiencing what I was experiencing. Which was aromanticism.

Anyway.

I'll hit a few highlight characters:

Gwenevieve Hampshire

My first character to be recognized as aro. (I think. Some of them were close.) Gwen's aroallo, though she does not know it or even know the words. Her aromanticism is definitely there if you know to look for it in The Animatronic Saga, but it's becoming a focal point in my secondary series.

Javon Midori

Javon was actually one of the characters I thought escaped my aro blast. 🤭 He's ace, but I thought his relationship with another character kinda excluded him. Then I realized said relationship is just a really wonderful qpr and my baby is platoniromantic with really strong alterous attraction. He loves her, but who even knows how.

Tomas

My baby with the most labels! I actually have a joke in one of my stories about him just trying to claim the whole rainbow alphabet.

Tomas was my first bi character, but he's also demiromantic. He loves his boyfriend with his whole heart.

Angie Farley

One of my aro girls from my Aro Movie. Angie was the first character I created to be intentionally aro. She's aroflux and in a qpr (not yet in the timeline of my movie, but still) with Ruth. Working through her identity in the movie has been such a cathartic experience.

Ruth Eymmons

My romance-repulsed aro stand-in of a character. I have absolutely adored getting to write stories and scenes featuring someone like me who is also in a beautiful and wonderful relationship with someone who, to the ebst of her abilities, respects her boundaries and loves her just the way she is.

Camille

Literally the first character I ever created for writing, Camille's identity may end up being my favorite to write into existence. Because she's completely aro, but she also had a loving and devoted relationship with a woman and now she doesn't have any of those memories, but the woman in back in her life and she knows she cares? Question mark?

[aspec-neuroqueer]

Aro game, 19

Music tracks that are aro to me...

I'm going to list three! Because I have no self control and my music taste is a bit... eclectic?!

1. Je me Casse - Destiny

2. I am the Fire - Halestorm

3. One Foot - Fun.

Please don't judge me too harshly for my music 😅

Thanks for the ask!

[sevarix-blogs]

hiya varvar can i have 3 and 4 for the arospec ask game please?

3. do you go by strictly aromantic or fall under one of the arospec umbrella labels?

i go by strictly aromantic!

4. what is something you wish was more well known about being arospec?

i wish more people understood and spoke out against amatonormativity and aphobia!

[unzip-your-guts]

11 and 13 for the aro ask game

11: have you been to pride as an aro person?

I have not! Last time I went to the very small pride celebration in my town I don't think I'd realized I was aro yet and then covid happened. I'd love to get an aro flag and wear it to a bigger pride day tho!

13: do you have an aro ring? Do you want one?

I'm not a big ring person, I work in a warehouse so I'd worry about breaking or losing a ring. But I've started getting some nice rings to wear out and about when I'm off work, I may get one in the future if I find a white ring I like.

Thank you for asking!