#aro ask game

[aroacesafeplaceforall]

10 for arospec ask game. I need aro rants

Once you see it you can't unsee it, its everywhere it bleeds into everything and it sucks. That show i use to like? They make jokes about those who don't want to be in a relationship or aren't in one. That song i use to blast? A love song that says everyone will find someone some day. That book? Soulmates, everyone has one, you'll find someone someday, theres someone for everyone.

[toribookworm22]

Happy aro week!!

6. do you own any arospec pride merch? if so, can we see?

10. what frustrates you the most about amatonormativity?

Hey, Feather! Thanks for the aro ask, love! 💚

6. Do you own any arospec pride merch?

Why, yes, I do!

Technically, half my stuff could be aro, because I love green so much, but here's what actually:

Top image is a giant canvas with a design I made for a T-shirt (which I can't currently find 😂), that my mom actually ordered as the canvas for my b-day.

10. What frustrates you the most about amanormitivity?

Oof, okay, lot to choose from.

I think it really is the fact that amanormitivity is baked into everyday life and that, because of that, most people are so blind to it.

Amanormitivity hurts a lot of people-- allos too-- but it's incredibly toxic to young people who don't know they're aro. Being aromantic never hurt me or made me hate myself. Amanormativity, this nonstop idea that there was something wrong with me if I didn't fall in love? That's what's deadly.

[pending-dope-username]

10 from the arospec ask game?

number 10: what frustrates you the most about amatonormativity?

i would probably have to say the push for it to be the only right way. that it constructs this belief that romantic love is what makes us human. amatonormativity is a very harmful thing. it leaves people out of experiencing strong friendships. personally, as an aromantic, i feel it is important to have the ability to go out on little dates with your friends, whether you have a partner or not. and just the fact that it is deemed to be the only way to have a successful and fulfilling life is complete and utter bullshit. forcing everyone to accept that they're less than and lonely if they aren't romantically involved with someone can put lots of people in dangerous situations. it's not just harmful to our arospec community but also the alloromantic community. especially for women because most times they are pressured into relationships they don't want. this can be said about men as well.

what frustrates me the most about amatonormativity is the fact that it is seen as the only right way to exist and anything less is unacceptable.

[disasterdemi]

4, 10 :)

4. Are you out as aro?

So I'm going to borrow my answer from... oooh maybe 2 years ago...? since I can't think of a way to improve on the wording: I'm not "in".

Like if someone asked me I'd tell them (as long as I felt safe), and I've got some pride accessories and an instagram highlight about aro stuff. But because I didn't grow up with assumptions/defaults from my immediate family about my orientation, "coming out" isn't really an experience I relate to.

But I mean now that I've known for a few years and am pretty passionate about it I do find more opportunities to bring it up in conversation lol

10. How long have you known you are aro?

Nearly 3 years now since I came across the term "demiromantic" and went wait a minute...

Thanks for the ask 😊💚

[crimson--freak]

8 and 10 for the arospec ask game!

8. What are some of your favourite arospec characters (popular media or OCs)?

I actually don’t have many aromantic characters that I’m a massive fan of, but I do really enjoy Georgia Warr from Loveless. Her realisation of her being aroace and her journey through hesitation and denial and finally acceptance is pretty compelling, and I think her struggles both with her own and her friends’ amatonormative ideas are really relatable. It also portrays the romance averse/repulsed experience really well (in my opinion). In the book I was kind of put out by the fact that other aspec experiences weren’t really mentioned or explored (especially the concept of lovelessness within the wider aromantic community, since the book in itself is called Loveless), but one book can only cover so much - and it did cover a lot by mainstream book standards! So yeah Georgia is one of my favourite aro (ace) characters even if I didn’t really enjoy some stuff in the book.

As for OCs, I haven’t really developed any of them that much, but Asa (who I’ve only ever posted about once or twice) is aromantic and non-partnering! He’s my best girl and works as a half-bartender-half-bouncer in a club, along with her housemate Tiffany. I’ve considered making other characters aspec as well, but they’re even less developed than the two protagonists, so I don’t really know about them yet.

10. What frustrates you the most about amatonormativity?

Probably my biggest gripe is the concept of the soulmate, or “The One”. It’s frustrating in that it ignores both arospec and polyam experiences (although I can only speak from the arospec side of things). Of course it’s very popular idea, but I get really annoyed when people are seen as “incomplete” without them e.g. “your other half”, not being “whole” without a partner. Although I do like some romantic stories (and even some where characters are so codependent that the idea of being incomplete without the other could in some senses apply), I just feel weird that the concept is so widely prevalent in the real world too, especially when people claim that “Everyone Has A Soulmate”. Of course there are many aspects of amatonormativity that annoy me but that’s the major one.

[kenapiece-main]

sending u more for the ask meme okay? 7, 17, 18, 19

mwah ily <3

7. Are you interested in relationships on a personal level? If so, what is your ideal relationship type? -> *Looks at you pretending like you're not my partner* Well well well what a difficult quastionnnnnnnnn JK I'm personally interested in intimate personal relationships, and I have nooooo idea what the idea exactly looks like as long as one condition is met; that I never feel pressured to bring something into the relationship that isn't me. <3 oh and also a deep forgiveness for my horny ass brain.

17. What advice what you give to questioning alloaros? Or newly discovered alloaros? -> Love yourself. Aggressively love yourself and what you are, no matter how much you think you are incomplete. celebrate the freedom of the free space being aro provides instead of mourning the... loss(?) of something you never, or barely ever, had!

18. If you could summarise your alloaro identity in one or two sentences, what would you say? 19. What do you wish people knew about being alloaro? -> Both are already answered here! :D

[an-inspired-eternity]

2, 13, and 23 :]

2. Name one character you headcanon as arospec just because you feel like they are

for a more obscure fandom take. nio from akuma no riddle is aro TO ME.

^ real

13. Name two or more characters you think are in a queerplatonic relationship

oh you KNOW i'm on that t4t qpr mizurui grindset babey!!!!!!!!

23. Free question: drop a random aromantic related fandom thought

i toe such a fucking dangerous line between “yeah i like shipping i think shipping is fun” and “i swear to fucking god not every character dynamic needs to be made romantic. holy shit. oh my fucking god” and i don't wanna say it's entirely because i'm aro but dear god it is part of it!! similarly i also hate shipping wars for this exact fucking reason. especially when people try to make it a morality problem for ships that aren't a moral issue to have

[moved-to-piersgender]

6 for the aro ask game !!

6. What is your favourite part about being aromantic?

The freedom and the right to define my own life. I see friends of mine with this huge pressure to pair off, date any moron they had a few coffees with, to stick with unhealthy relationships because being single is a death sentence to society, and I think "damn I'm glad I don't have that mysterious internal impetus to do all that shit". I never have to combine my life with someone, I get to have alone time, there's no expectation I have to subsume my whole identity in someone else's, no stupid Valentine's day gift exchanges, wedding and children.... I can do whatever the fuck I want.

[aromacaque]

1, 3, 9, 11 (or rather the fictional soulmate trope, if you enjoy it and how), 28

what arospec labels do you identify with?

aromantic!

3. arospec headcanons?

SO GLAD YOU ASKED

aromantic allosexual macaque (i don't know why he gives off aroallo vibes but he just is okay he told me himself)

aroace wukong for both jttw and lmk, actually jttw reinforces that hc for lmk to me (specifically romance repulsed)

aroace mk, i teeter between romance repulsed and romance neutral with him, maybe demiromantic, but like generally i see him as repulsed)

there's something arospec about mel from arcane. i can't explain it

aroace mikey (rottmnt, i can't explain this one either)

there are others i swear on my life but all i have in my brain are the monkeys i don't remember any other characters it's only legos

9. how do you define your experience with being arospec? what’s your attraction (or lack thereof) like? what does being arospec encompass for you personally?

i guess romance-repulsed aromantic is how i define it? i've never had a crush before in my life, romance directed at me in any way or being misunderstood as others to come across like that makes me feel weird and it's like .. idk i'm just not interested in people like that. i do sometimes feel grossed out by people around me in relationships and stuff, but definitely not anywhere near what i've seen a lot of other repulsed aros describe??? it's not as intense. but it's there.

11. thoughts on soulmates?

i don't think the idea of soulmates is limited to romantic relationships. i think the idea, especially in fiction, is more compelling if it's a "string of fate" that's connected to people who naturally come into each others lives like there was always a spot for them. and i don't mind fictional tropes where it's limited to one special person, but i also think it can be multiple people?

i don't mind the trope, romantic or not, but the way it's portrayed in romance stories tends to be really amanormative and convey a "romance is superior to friendship" message which i do not care for at all

also i don't know if i believe in soulmates irl really, but i do think there are people that you could meet, even if completely by chance, that kinda feel like soulmates?? there probably are anyway. i've at least seen it happen to other people where they instantly click with someone and become best friends in a short span of time so anything is possible

28. what’s the most efficient way to befriend you? how would someone win you over platonically?

ACTUALLY A REALLY HARD QUESTION FOR ME. i wouldn't say it's hard to become my friend objectively, it's just that i'm really bad at making friends. i have waaay more acquaintances than friends because i'm really bad at messaging people. or reaching out beyond the weird coworker/classmate/mutual state (sorry to all my friends who i barely message btw you are all cool i promise)

so ig the way to combat that is just through semi frequent interactions or playing games together and stuff?? bonus points if we're talking about one of my special interests or hyperfixations, which is like kinda surface level but if you talk to me about lmk you've got my attention immediately. autism may be a communication deficit disability but the obsessions do not fuck around and it's an easy ice breaker... or something

also if you're funny. that's subjective so idk what that actually says, but if you're funny i'm sold. i love my friends btw you are all so funny

so unrelated but i need to play lethal company and content warning again with my friends it's been a while we've all been too busy

[aro-culture-is]

Aro culture is flirting with your friends and them flirting back cuz fake dramatic flirting is so funny

.

[toribookworm22]

for the arospec ask game, 1, 15, 16

Hey, Chance! 💚 Thank you for the aro ask!

1. When did you realize you were arospec?

May of 2022!

I had never heard of the word until I was doing character identity research and it wad late at night when it just suddenly clicked.

15. What are some things you associate with arospec identities?

So most of the things I associate have come straight from Tumblr or other aro blogs, but:

Absolutely anything green, specifically 💚, froggies, dragon scales, SHARKS, and my personal favorite: our mascot the Dino.

16. Do you have any arospec OCs? If so, tell us about them.

There's an argument to be made that literally all of my characters ever are arospec, because I thought I was writing them experiencing what I was experiencing. Which was aromanticism.

Anyway.

I'll hit a few highlight characters:

Gwenevieve Hampshire

My first character to be recognized as aro. (I think. Some of them were close.) Gwen's aroallo, though she does not know it or even know the words. Her aromanticism is definitely there if you know to look for it in The Animatronic Saga, but it's becoming a focal point in my secondary series.

Javon Midori

Javon was actually one of the characters I thought escaped my aro blast. 🤭 He's ace, but I thought his relationship with another character kinda excluded him. Then I realized said relationship is just a really wonderful qpr and my baby is platoniromantic with really strong alterous attraction. He loves her, but who even knows how.

Tomas

My baby with the most labels! I actually have a joke in one of my stories about him just trying to claim the whole rainbow alphabet.

Tomas was my first bi character, but he's also demiromantic. He loves his boyfriend with his whole heart.

Angie Farley

One of my aro girls from my Aro Movie. Angie was the first character I created to be intentionally aro. She's aroflux and in a qpr (not yet in the timeline of my movie, but still) with Ruth. Working through her identity in the movie has been such a cathartic experience.

Ruth Eymmons

My romance-repulsed aro stand-in of a character. I have absolutely adored getting to write stories and scenes featuring someone like me who is also in a beautiful and wonderful relationship with someone who, to the ebst of her abilities, respects her boundaries and loves her just the way she is.

Camille

Literally the first character I ever created for writing, Camille's identity may end up being my favorite to write into existence. Because she's completely aro, but she also had a loving and devoted relationship with a woman and now she doesn't have any of those memories, but the woman in back in her life and she knows she cares? Question mark?

[disasterdemi]

8 for the asks

8. Do you associate anything with being ‘aromantic culture’?

Okay so there are the classics... but I'm going to suggest one I've only seen maybe once or twice that I feel is underrated and keeps making even more sense the more you think about it:

Black cats

[crimson--freak]

6, 20

6. Do you own any arospec pride merch? If so, can we see?

All of the arospec stuff I own I made myself (I’m not out to my family and I’m not really good at ordering stuff online, so buying stuff is kind of off the table for the moment). I made myself an aro ring out of Pyssla beads (ikea-brand perler beads) and some wire - although that occasionally breaks so I have to keep making it. I also made a small bracelet and embroidered (-ish) some aro flags onto a jacket.

Here’s the ring:

[ID: A homemade aro ring, made from white cylinder-shaped beads. /End ID]

20. If you fall under one of the arospec umbrella labels, which ones do you use and can you define them for us?

Okay so I technically fall under the greyromantic umbrella (although I’ve only ever had one crush so I lean towards dark-greyromantic), but for simplicity I just say I’m aro. Greyromantic is an umbrella label that encapsulates the experiences on the aro spectrum between “fully” aromantic (does not experience romantic attraction at all) and “fully” alloromantic (experiences romantic attraction often and consistently). I put “fully” in quotation marks because the ideas of what qualifies “fully” aro or allo are pretty subjective, and like me some people may just resort to using the term aromantic even if they’re under the greyromantic umbrella. Someone might be greyromantic if they experience romantic attraction infrequently, do not feel as if aromantic fully describes their identity, or their romantic attraction only occurs in certain circumstances (for that reason some demiromantic people use the greyromantic umbrella term).

Anyway thank you so much for the ask! :)

[kenapiece-main]

11 for the ask meme!

autism stares at u <3

11. Are there any songs that give you alloaro vibes? If so, what are they? -> Avalanche - Christian French -> Never been in love - Will Jay (this is basically an aro anthem) -> I can't make you love me - Dave Thomas Junior

[an-inspired-eternity]

9 for the aro ask game?

9. Is there a character you just cannot ever see as alloromantic?

would yall still love me if i said isabela from encanto be honest with me. i'm not as much in the encanto brainrot mindset as i used to be but i am still an enjoyer of aro isabela she doesn't want a man she just wants her succulents and tbh? i'm she

[moved-to-piersgender]

5. How did you figure out you are aro?

6. What is your favourite part about being aromantic?

9. What is your favourite aro-spec identity flag?

17. Do you have any aro related labels that don’t fit into the other groups (like loveless / lovequeer / amatopunk / etc)?

Someone got to 6 before you so I shall answer the other 3.

5. The specifics have been lost to the sands of time, it was a bunch of things that snowballed into me finally taking on the label when I was 20 or so. I live in a very conservative state so even as a kid there was this huge emphasis on getting married and starting a family even as a kiddo, and I just... didn't relate. I'd get the "oh, you'll find someone someday" spiel and just dismiss it with a "yeah ok sure" indifference. I figured out I didn't want kids pretty early on too. When everyone in junior high was pairing off and playing grab-ass I remember distinctly feeling like I was surrounded by aliens (and not the cool kind).

When I was around 14 or so I was subjected to an absolutely odious church activity where we made "wedding cans" where we were supposed to talk about our dream wedding, write a love letter to out future spouse, talk about how many kids we wanted and what we were going to name them, all sorts of drivel like that that we were supposed to open up and show our spouse later for some reason. And I just felt...dirty. And pissed. I played along (putting deliberately stupid answers to everything) but opened the can up a few days later, went outside, soaked everything in it in acetone, and burned all the paper to ash (very safe, I know 😅)

Similarly, when I was 18, those same ladies IMMEDIATELY started trying to set me up on dates with all the single randos around the ward, which similarly pissed me off. What was I, a fucking broodmare? I ripped the lady who was the ringleader of it a new one, which I did feel a little bad about because she really thought she was being helpful, but still, it put a stop to it REAL fast.

So I put the pieces together that most of humanity- even many otherwise intelligent people- have some kind of internal impetus to paie off and breed that I just...don't. AND a lot of what's conventionally considered romantic- pairing off, partners "belonging" to each other and having no lives of thier own, the way you're expected to throw all other connections in your life out the nearest airlock once you find The One- and anything that reminded me of that expectation made me feel downright sick. (I deadass thought my siblings would stop loving me whenever they dated someone. It sucked)

So when I found out that aromanticism was A Thing it didn't take me long at all to realize that that's me. I ID'd as "just" arospec for a while to pacify the last of the "you'll find The One someday" arguments but eventually I dropped even that pretense.

9. Can't go wrong with the classic, I think. I'm a sucker for anything with that green, black, white and grey color scheme because of it. I've always liked the triangle demiromantics get even though that's not a label that applies to me.

17. Amatopunk is based as fuck and something the entirety of humanity needs a crash course on. I've also been drawn to the "evil aro" concept a bit recently because while I'm not loveless I very much do fit some of the negative stereotypes and am not sorry at all about it (I'm highly romance repulsed and not at all interested in coddling the feelings of allos that put romance on a pedestal.) Also while not aro labels, evilpunk and voidpunk both heavily overlap with my experiences as a neurodivergent aro person (evilpunk with how society demonizes living for yourself and not living a life of constantly putting other's needs before your own, voidpunk due to humanity's obsession with romance being another thing that seperate me from them.)