#are inadvertently getting innocent people killed

[its-blip-on-the-radar]

Hey, psst.

Believing that there are only good people and bad people and you have to categorize everyone into one or the other means you're most likely contributing to the amount of "bad" people in the world. If you quantify people by the amount of "bad" things they do, and throw them into a category they can't leave, they're going to lose all motivation to change and continue the cycle. Hurt people hurt people. As a former addict and someone who's easily demonized based on my symptoms, please stop categorizing everything as good or bad behaviors. The amount of times I've heard people say relapsing is a "bad" behavior yet in my actual programs I've been in I've heard that sometimes relapsing is a part of recovery, like... it drives me crazy. The world isn't black and white. Stop trying to make it black and white.

[waokevale]

[For the record, WX-78's relationship with Wagstaff portrayed here is strictly PLATONIC and bordering familial. The similarities of their appearances are intentional]

I swear to God if people focus strictly on Woodrow again while trying to ignore Wagstaff's existence���

Ik people hate him and I'm tired of it, he's just a guy, it's not funny when you're doing it for so long. Max, while under the influence of them did a lot of worse things, and while I don't hate him for it, there definitely feels to be a double standard.

Y'know actually, it's kinda hilarious that whenever people come in contact with nightmare fuel or shadow creatures, they turn into the worst versions of themselves; Ie. William becoming Maxwell, inadvertently ruining Charlie's life, getting her killed and starting a kidnapping spree, trying to take someone like Witherstone straight up out of spite and personal grudges.

Willow burning down the Orphanage and seemingly appearing to show no remorse or internal conflict afterwards (whether there were other kids or not– but let's be honest, realistically she wouldn't have been the only kid in there).

Wagstaff genuinely trying to help people (while also taking secret payment from them, because while they are rich, he's seemingly broke, seeing his apartment and junk.) but he still goes out of his way to save their lives, until he stumbles upon the projector which is filled to the brim with nightmare fuel– I think you get the point. You could easily assume that humans getting in contact with this substance tend to become more callous of the others' general well-being.

Aside from that, it's fun to portray how Wagstaff's and Woodrow's relationship used to be. I always thought Woodrow used to highly admire Wagstaff and think of him as a mentor or father figure of sorts, while Wagstaff definitely was impressed with their skills, and who knows, maybe even cared about them somewhat as well.

People tend to villify Wagstaff while making WX appear blameless and an innocent victim, which is strictly false. I LOVE WX, but they are screwed up and evil, that is no act. I wanted to highlight this aspect of them here, they appear to have good intentions, but they don't care about what his needs and wants are here. They're trying to appear noble by wanting to save him from his awful flesh, but in reality, as soon as he begins doubting them and claims their project is hazardous and needs to be nullified, they immediately turn their back on him and attack him. Of course their plan fails and they end up in the Constant, bearing spite and resentment towards him, as well as a lot of internalized contlict. They don't fully hate him, because to an extent, they were the one who took things too far.

In a way, both of them appear to share the trait of : If it doesn't work, get rid of it and start anew, and whilst this mentality mostly applies for organic creatures in WX-78's case, Wagstaff is more double-sided.

No, but I genuinely love this old man and want to explore his lore, why he is as fucked up as he is, because he's a very interesting and fleshed out character!

[djarins-cyare]

WIP Weekend

It’s been a while since I’ve made progress on any of my fics, but I’m trying my best to write something for Kate’s Roll-A-Trope Challenge, so I finally have something I can share a snippet of 🥳

Over the last 14 weeks, I’ve been tagged in 19 WIP Wednesday posts / Last Line games / WIP polls (yes, I keep track!), so thank you to the following lovely people for continuing to think of me even though I’ve been suspiciously quiet 💚:

@burntheedges @nerdieforpedro @604to647 @the-mandawhor1an

@kyberblade @almostfoxglove @for-a-longlongtime @djarins-wife

May I offer you some (totally unedited and marginally redacted) pre-spice Din and f!Reader in the trope genre of secret relationship below the cut…

Swallowing, you blink innocently and ask, “Is there anything else you need before I turn in?” You’re not particularly tired, but you should let him get some rest. Slowly, the angle of Mando’s helmet drops a few centimetres, and he releases a vibrant hum. The few seconds of silence that follow feel charged somehow, full of expectation, and just as you realise where he’s relocated his gaze to, he rumbles a reply in the lowest, sexiest register you’ve heard from him this evening. “So far, you’ve known exactly what I’ve needed without me having to ask.” He leaves another pregnant pause as he slowly tilts his helmet. “So go on, tell me. What do I need now?” Your eyes inadvertently dart to his crotch again and… shit. You’re pretty sure something’s happening down there. It looks… harder… larger (if that’s even possible). “You, uh….” Your attempt at an answer doesn’t go anywhere, mainly because you don’t know what to say. You want this, sure, but you shouldn’t. He’s injured, and you promised your uncle you’d keep your distance, not jump into an intimate act with the guy the first chance you get. After a few deep and shuddering breaths, you manage, “You need a good night’s sleep.” “I do,” he agrees. “But your question was whether I need anything else before you go to bed. Sleep comes after you go. What comes before?” Fuck. His words vibrate through you and seem to disintegrate your misgivings. There’s no logical decision to answer the way you do; it just happens. “You… if you want.” A pleased hum resonates through the vocoder. “I do,” he agrees again. “The bacta took away the pain, but I could use some pleasure too. If you’re willing.” “Y-yes,” you blurt, halfway between eager and anxious. “But… my uncle will kill me if he finds out.” Mando chuckles. “He’d shoot me first. Our secret, then?” Your pussy dampens at the idea, eyes flashing as you nod your acceptance of his clandestine terms. Suddenly, a secret liaison with the apparently dangerous man you’re supposed to be avoiding for your own good sounds like the most desirable thing in the galaxy.

Yeah, you know me… I can’t just write a single scene; I have to write the whole damn relationship!

So, obviously, this is how their secret relationship gets off the ground. You may have gathered that Reader is a certain High Magistrate’s niece and has been given strict instructions to avoid the new resident of the cabin out on the lava flats. You can look forward to plenty of sneaking around, flimsy excuses, near misses, and suspicious confrontations. Oh, and smut 😏

I can’t believe I only have a month left to write all this. What have I signed up for? I’m so fucked…

*Hates self for not being able to write short stories* /jk

I’m clearly over-excited about finally having something for a WIP post, so I’m going wild and tagging a load of writer mutuals and favourites. Feel free to do any form of WIP post you choose, or ignore me entirely if you’re not up for posting snippets right now (either way, you’re all awesome) 💚

@5oh5 @abbonation @always-andromeda @captainredspade @court-jobi

@davnittbraes @din-cognito @dindjarindiaries @djarinmuse @drewharrisonwriter

@dumfanting @eatommo @evolnoomym @fhatbhabiee @fromthedeskoftheraven

@fuckyeahdindjarin @galaxyedging @grogusmum @happy-beeeps @iamsherlocked-1998

@insomniamamma @ishabull @itsjuststardust @joelalorian @jolapeno

@lady-bess @lahooozaherr @larkoneironaut @littlemisspascal @magpiepills

@morallyinept @mothandpidgeon @newpathwrites @oonajaeadira @penvisions

@prolix-yuy @quicksilvermad @saradika @secretelephanttattoo @sixhours

@sp00kymulderr @studioghibelli @syd-djarin @the-blind-assassin-12 @theetherealbloom

@wannab-urs @whocaresstillthelouvre @whxtedreams @wrathkitty @yopossum

[maximumqueer]

So I got spoiled on Gideon losing his ability to dance, but I still didn't know how or why it was going to happen. I kinda thought it was going to be some inadvertent fey pact, similar to the whole "May I have your name?" thing where if you give your name you loose it forever.

So color me surprised when I get to the ep. that Gideon looses his ability to dance, and it is NOT fey shenanigans, but rather Gideon willingly choosing to give up his ability to dance so he could get Twig a gift. God my heart melted into a pile of goo, because WHAT DO YOU MEAN he gave up ever being able to dance again to do something sweet for his daughter friend???

I just love the duality of Gideon so much. Because on one hand he is a criminal who has murdered numerous people, runs schemes on innocent people with his husband, and is willing to kill and/or maim anyone who even slightly annoys him (just look at how many times he's broken Gricko's face). But on the other hand he gives piggyback rides to Hootsie and Twig, calls Hootsie his niece and is incredibly productive of her, and is willing to give up dancing to get Twig a present. And man am I a sucker for a character who - for all intents and purposes is not that great of a person (which I love about the Krew - Kremy and Gideon in particular) - but does have a soft spot for his family, and as such is incredibly protective of them.

He just gives such "I would burn down the world for you" vibes and I fucking love it!

[layanomaly]

GUYS GUYS GUYS

You know how during the earlier episodes we still had theories of how “teen” couldve been Nicholas scratch??? well yeah despite having read the comics I didnt know much about him cuz I was mostly into “house of M” and “children’s crusade” Volumes

And so I did a sort dive into his character 

AND I FOUND OUTT 

THAT IN THE COMICS

HIS CHARACTER HAD A REALLY DEEP CONNECTION WITH THE SALEM SEVEN 

AND HE ALSO ENDS UP BETRAYING AGATHA!!!

WHICH WAS ONE OF THE REASONS WHY I REALLY BELIEVED COULD “TEEN” BE NICHOLAS WITH ALL THE THEORIES ABOUT HOW HE MIGHT END UP BETRAYING HER AT THE END ROAD

Soooo coming back to the recent eps and what mightve happened between Agatha and rio-

AND IDK WHY I DIDNT THINK OF THIS SOONER or idk if anyone else has thought of it either 

But what I THINK might’ve happened between them is that as we know rio is BASICALLY death personified aka lady death and so I think Rio foresaw the future where Nicholas, once an innocent boy, would grow up to betray Agatha, likely influenced by the darker forces or ambitions as in the comics.(and before you ask "can lady death foresee futures???"....and honestly idk but she IS a cosmic entity and my theory is that before reaping souls she can sort of see glimpses of a persons future and when nicky died she saw his )

Knowing this, Rio, as a reaper of souls and irrevocably in love with Agatha- took a painful but calculated action—she reaped Nicholas’ soul while he was still innocent, believing that this would spare Agatha from the heartbreak of his future betrayal. Rio wanted Agatha to remember Nicholas as the sweet boy she loved, rather than the twisted figure he would become.

Which is probably why she didnt tell Agatha about this and let her hate her for not bringing Nicky backk

BUTT Agatha who was unaware of her motivations turned to the dark hold and quote on quote “hid behind all that dark magic” in an attempt to bring Nicholas back (Which is when I think the rumours about Agatha sacrificing Nicholas for the dark hold started to form since these event took place one after another)

And The Darkhold, feeding off Agatha’s grief and determination,(like it did to wanda) began corrupting her, pushing her toward dark magic and chaos.

And in her blind determination, Agatha became a threat—not only to herself but also to the balance of life and death that Rio upheld.

Which is why I think rio was out for Agatha in the first ep But the complexity of their relationship complicates matters

Which creates this tragic cycle and I just jhebfsekufhbvwev KILL ME PLEASE 

Rio acted out of love to protect Agatha from Nicholas' eventual betrayal, but in doing so, inadvertently set Agatha on a dark path that now forces Rio to stop her. Both are driven by love for Nicholas but so tragically misaligned in their goals.

[edit: alsooo im completely on board with all the theories going on about how rio is after billy on the road since he cheated death yadayada but i saw a lot of people asking as to why rio was after agatha in the first ep and i hope this outlook answers thatt......oh and when i say "after agatha" i didnt mean it in the sense that she wanted to see her hurt but more in the sense that she cared so much about agatha that she didnt want to see her get corrupted by it]

[soullessjack]

ok so carried on from this post theres a specific tag i wanna elaborate on which says ‘[jack] isn’t a pacifist he actually has a very complicated relationship with violence’ in relation to how he’s usually (mis)characterized by the fandom.

so first, Jack isn’t a pacifist. pacifism is a total opposition to all war and violence, and a belief that it is never justifiable for any reason or circumstance. He might be averse to violence as a first response or reaction, and he’s frequently shown to want to help the person before anything else—especially people he finds sympathetic or similar to himself (ie Mia Vallens, Sylvia)—but he’s not averse to it altogether.

Jack seems to really only be against violence when it’s used against innocent or undeserving people, including himself. Like in S13, he has no problem using his power to force an angel to stab themself with their blade or going to war with Michael and killing thousands of angels in his army for roughly 6-8 months (and we must remember, it was an effective genocide before he decided, completely out of the original plan, to kill Michael and made it a war) but he still has a total meltdown over accidentally killing an innocent security guard and almost strangling someone who did nothing wrong like he’d assumed. In Ouroboros he states that anyone who could hurt/kill an innocent person is a monster, even if they’re human, which is probably the clearest establishment of his moral code the show could offer.

I think Jack’s particular aversion to violence or even general aggression/anger is also caused by the fact that he, at three days old, was told by Sam that he would need to be kept from hurting other people while his powers were still largely uncontrollable (and therefore, still making him a threat and “evil” if he couldn’t do that). He’s also seen for himself what his power/his overreaction inadvertently causes for other people–like throwing Sheriff Barker into the vending machine (which he apologizes for later)—and is blatantly scared of it at first, so I think it makes a lot of sense that he prefers nonviolent behavior as an initial or default response. However, pacifism is still defined by the belief that no circumstance or reason whatsoever can justify an act of violence, which directly goes against how Jack personally feels about and uses it.

Going back to Ouroboros, he personally defines a “monster” as anyone who would willingly harm or enjoy harming someone who doesn’t deserve it, even if they aren’t actually a particular species of monster. And going back to S13, he has no problem murdering Michael’s army or even torturing Michael himself (which he specifically does because Michael “hurt his friends, hurt his family.” Ergo, Jack does believe in using violence, so long as it’s only used as a justified defense, and I think that is also a part of why him torturing Nick so horrifically is meant to land on us as Something Ostensibly Wrong. Did Nick deserve it? Yes. Mary isn’t even upset about him being killed; she just halfheartedly tells Jack “not like that.” Nick deserved it, but he is still barely a threat to someone like Jack (which everybody knew)—and because he isn’t a veritable threat, none of what Jack does to him can actually qualify as a “defense.”

It’s violence for the sake of violence, with a personal grudge for motivation, and while it’s shown a lot throughout SPN, it hits a lot harder coming from Jack specifically because he, again, is generally averse to [ab]using his power like that—even against other enemies. He believes in necessary and defensive violence and acts accordingly, which makes the completely unnecessary violence he uses against Nick more disturbing; it’s not about defending his loved ones or even stopping a nefarious plot anymore (he literally banishes Lucifer within seconds of getting there). It’s just about making someone suffer and enjoying it. In Absence we also get the vague implication about Jack’s particular fears and insecurities: he’s afraid that he isn’t really loved or wanted for himself, but rather that he’s valued for being “the muscle to take out enemies,”—that he’s nothing more to the Winchesters than a pet monster and easily discardable if he’s no longer useful to them.

On the flip side of that, he’s also canonically very happy to be wanted, needed and helpful to his family/friends—which is to say, again, he’s perfectly fine using violence as a justifiable defense that serves his family (which is also why he chooses to burn Nick to death after Sam indirectly wishes it on him, and why he’s happy to murder all of Dumah’s targets under the guise that it would make Sam and Dean happy). Once he realizes the truth and horror of his actions, however, he tells Dean that he is a monster, by his own definition. But how exactly is this complicated, you might ask? Well I’m glad you did, because I’m getting to it. Throughout his entire short-lived life, Jack has had to be painfully aware of the damage he can and does cause, and what it means for how he’s perceived and the ever present debate about his “true” nature.

I can’t find it now and probably won’t bother looking, but i had another post about how Jack inwardly perceives himself and wants to be perceived in return, particularly when he’s perceived as a threat. To summarize: because of his particular moral code, Jack inwardly knows he would never [want to] use his power against his family or friends, and is therefore not a threat to them, and therefore does not want to be perceived as one despite the danger he still poses with the potential alone. The eggshells that people walk around him are solely based on the fact that he has immense potential and capability to hurt them, all prevented by his simple continuous and impermanent choice to not hurt them.

The only thing standing between them and everything he’s ever done to their enemies is the fact that he considers them friends and has no reason to want to hurt them, and that’s exactly what Jack himself personally lives by. It’s the same blind trust that Sam and Dean have built with Cas; they know what he can do, and they know when he would or wouldn’t choose to do it. It’s a mutual understanding that “I know you can hurt me but I care about you enough to trust you not to do that,” and “I know I can hurt you but I care about you enough to not hurt you and Im glad you trust me to not do that.” I also mentioned it in the post that in Last Holiday, Jack doesn’t deny it when Mrs. Butters says that he’s insanely powerful; he does, however, deny her saying that Sam and Dean should be afraid of him, because “[he] would never hurt them.”

Insanely powerful? ✅

Potentially dangerous? ✅

A threat to be feared? ❌

(This is also what makes Mary’s death by Jack and Sam and Dean’s subsequent actions exceptionally tragic on both sides; their mutual trust is inadvertently, yet still effectively, broken. Jack has also effectively gone against his own morality by harming people he loves and people who don’t deserve it, and now in S15 is struggling with the loss of said trust and the need to earn it back).

That, my hypothetical audience member, is the complicated part. Having to find a middle ground between necessary, defensive, justifiable violence that his surrounding community would approve or appreciate, and the completely unnecessary abuse or misuse of power (ie violence) that would register him as an evil monster and/or a threat to be put down for the justifiable greater good. There’s also the additional middle ground between presenting and maintaining the image of himself as docile and non-threatening (the behavior of which is hugely infantilized by the fandom), while also still being able to defend others with the same violence that could easily lead to him being seen as a threat.

in conclusion (1): Jack is not a pacifist but he has an extremely complicated relationship with violence and the fluctuating justifications surrounding it which he must meet in order to continuously be perceived as safe and trustworthy in spite of his capabilities.

In conclusion (2): this is the truest of jack true forms:

thank you for coming to my yap session, don’t let the door hit you where the good lord split you on the way out 🫶

[quitealotofsodapop]

Extreme trigger warning but I just came across a list that speaks volumes and the point they made hut ne like a truck...

That point being that Wukong was literally suicidal in s3 when he decided he was going to try to take the Samhadi Fire and use it to burn LBD up.

The Fire is known to be one of the few things in existence capable of killing him, he knows that Ao Lie taking on just a portion of it likely resulted in at minimum a shortened lifetime and very likely lead to his actual death, and that if left unchecked it could destroy the world. It's why they all sealed it away to begin with! And yet, this stupid, self sacrificial, immortal monkey was going to literally let himself be burned to a crisp in a half-baked attempt to stop LBD AND NOT THINK TWICE ABOUT IT! You can bet he fully expected to die in that moment and didn't care!

And throughout s3, you can tell Wukong wasn't quite right. He started the season with everyone angry at him for not warning them about LBD and going off on his own, inadvertently leaving MK to deal with the spirit on his own and putting him in danger. Wukong knows this and fully regrets it, you can TELL he's beating himself up over it the entire time, he's just hiding it because that's what Wukogn does when faced with uncomfortable emotions, he puts on a laid backed persona and pretends nothing bothers him, that such things are beneath him becaue its only for "dorky mortals," not an immortal hero like himself. It's what years and years of pain and misery and abuse had taught him to do. Because he's gotten to the point that all he and all he believes he can be is the Monkey King. The Legend, not the person.

Which reminds me... Throughout all of Lego Monkie Kid, nobody ever refers to Sun Wukong as his actual name except for one notable exception. Macaque. The person who was once Wukong's closest companion turned the most hateful enemy up u til that point. Someone who specifically targeted an innocent bystander simply for the crime of being Wukong's apprentice. How messed up would that make you, to get hundreds of years in isolation only for the first people you reach out to to never call you by your name? For the people you've come to love to only ever call you by a title you, more than likely, hate. The only person to call you is your own name, Macaque, who is actively trying to kill you and despises the very air you breathe and your very existence.

BIG TW cus its pretty heavy topic.

Me and another asker discussed this a while ago about how Wukong's canonical actions and behavior throughout the series are eerily similar to someone suffering from depression.

But I don't think he's actively trying to kill himself - at least he doesn't think he is. For Wukong; hosting the Samadhi Fire will either go off without a hitch - or he can leave the mortal plane in a huge final Big Bang.

It all goes back to his self-sacrificial nature, and becoming self-destructive after losing his Pilgrim brothers/support system.

The fact that he's been reduced to a "character" in the eyes of the public honestly makes him feel kinda sick. He can't think of who in his life would actually call him by his name - other than his enemies.

Also you are incorrect about Macaque being the only one to call Wukong by his name; Nezha and DBK pointedly call him by his name, albeit during moment when he's not in their good graces. Perhaps in Wukong's mind, the only people who really "care" about him anymore are the people who hate him/want to fight him.

Its sorta why a lot of my aus have Wukong re-establish a support system with assistance from the universe.

Wukong needs a therapy episode.

[gingergofastboatsmojito]

The C person's dark side

Behind that innocent face, there's a woman who maybe subconsciously, or maybe not so subconsciously, manipulates situations to get what she wants.

Of course, this doesn't diminish Carmy's free will, as I mentioned here. But that's the whole point, she doesn't really respect his free will, she manipulates it or maneuvers around it, she tries to, in some way, control it and cries when she can't. She got her own 💔 in the process but she will continue doing it even now that she knows better, because it's in her nature. It's IC for her.

So we will unfortunately and surely see a lot more of that this upcoming S3. Claire's dark side will be out in the open, this time perhaps it will be more explicit and not so subtle. I'm not sure how it will be played out bc I gave up on trying to figure Storer out, I just let him be and trust him as much as I can, which is not much at this point, tbh...

But back to Claire, that is my main problem with her, not only because in IRL I hate manipulative people, even if they do it unconsciously, even when I know that someone who resorts to manipulations, especially emotional manipulation tactics, is someone deeply insecure and it's usually not their fault, as insecurities are typically rooted in early childhood and you can't hold a child responsible for anything or sometimes are linked to unsolved trauma, which clearly, you can't blame on the person either. But, here's the catch: I'm a person too, hi, hello! I have issues too, etc, and I don't manipulate shit! I respect people's free will to a fault even if it fucking kills me, and usually it does as a matter of fact. But I suck it up and move on like a pro, I just bounce back and heal without trying to manipulate anyone into acting the way I wish they fucking did. And I certainly don't take it out on others. I go to therapy, blow steam up at the gym till I have to pop painkillers to keep functioning, I skip town for a few days and re-connect with nature, I write FF, I journal, I read, I go to my BBF's house, and cry while she feeds me foods I don't even know how to cook, I swim, I walk my dogs, and lay on the floor with them till I feel better and when none of that works, I occasionally go back to boxing, I try not to bc it's not healthy for me. But I NEVER FUCK WITH OTHER PEOPLE'S FREE WILL, I DON'T CONDONE THAT BEHAVIOUR IN OTHERS IRL AND I HATE THAT MY FAVEST TV SHOW GOT RUINED WITH A CHARACTER LIKE THAT, I DON'T WANNA WATCH THAT. I mean, I will, sure, bc IK Sydcarmy is endgame, but I don't wanna.

Claire embodies everything I hate in people, everything I run away from IRL, her character represents all I think is toxic and should be avoided at all costs, all I consider ethically wrong in the most basic aspects of life because what makes us humans is our freedom and IK this sounds dramatic 🙄 but I believe that who doesn't respect our freedom, free will, etc, is trying to rob us from our humanity, sometimes inadvertently, which I think might be her case most of the time, but some other times they do it on purpose. They know what they are doing and do it anyway, they are willing to outsource and pay others to help them, etc. They know they are trying to force an outcome, which in business might be OK, seeing as at work we may find ourselves in these kinda situations more often than not and we don't really have a choice as to whether we put up with them or not, especially if we work in certain industries, however, we are NOT our jobs! When it comes to human relationships this M.O. goes against my whole belief system. Can't do it. Nope. It's not fair and fairness is where I draw the fucking line!!!

And no, I'm not a Sydcarmy soldier because of that, but yes, I'm ALSO a Sydcarmy soldier bc of that, for sure!

But on a deeper level, and this is actually what I hate the most here: I'm mad at Storer, whom I learned to love and hate in equal measure by now. You'll see, he allowed this character to happen. Either he created it or signed off on it if one of his other writers wrote Claire into existence. WHY!?!?! THERE WERE OTHER WAYS TO DO THIS, CHRIS!

I previously mentioned how shady Claire's behavior was from the beginning and how it probably wouldn't have been tolerated or woulda been flagged as a clear 🚩if a man woulda acted that way with a woman. I go over it in my response/rb to this comprehensive (just the way I like it) post by @damnikindadontcare

So summing up, I don't hate C, I hate Storer and what Claire represents. I hate that I will have to continue putting up with her and her dark side for who knows how many more eps, and every time I look at her all of this goes through my head, it kills the whole watching experience for me but if this is the price I have to pay to see Sydcarmy unfold and Claire eventually walk into the sunset defeated and not getting her way, I will pay it. Fuck it!

YOU WON STORER, NOW GIVE ME WHAT I WANT AND NO ONE GETS HURT (it's a song, not a threat, relax).

[disaster-writer]

What Lips Can’t Say

Pairing: The Mandalorian x Reader

Summary: Mando realizes that he may not be able to love you the way you want to be loved

Word Count: 3.4k

Rating: T

Warning: Mentions of human trafficking

Din Djarin wasn’t cut out for this. He wasn’t cut out for playing the role of ‘Dad’ or talking to a woman in hopes of pursuing a relationship. 

He ignored the scene behind him in the pilot seat with every ounce of will that he had, but the temptation to look behind himself was all too strong. Especially since he knew he’d only find you cooing at Grogu and staring into his wide innocent eyes going on about how beautiful they were while you stroked his cheeks with him responding in his own gibberish speak.

This entire situation the Mandalorian seemed to find himself in felt all too domestic in the most off kilter way imaginable.

He always figured that if he decided to settle down, it would be with a Mandalorian woman that he’d have a human kid with. It certainly didn’t consist of a little green Jedi menace as a son and attempting to pursue an escaped slave turned thief and con artist.

And you were both his bounties— go figure.

Perhaps he was growing soft. Years ago he would have never done anything like this.

When Din was younger he had hunted kids before and women. He had no problem collecting the price on their heads back then. Sure, maybe it made him feel like shit for a couple days but he needed the money.

But now it was as if he had no self control. He was at least able to hand Grogu over for a day or so but when it came right down to it, he couldn’t just leave the little hellraiser in the hands of the Empire. Maybe you were right to fawn over the kid’s eyes like you had, it was probably those same eyes that had thawed something within Din and ripped out any spine he had in the process.

And he didn’t even want to think about how far he went with you. 

You were only frozen in carbonite for three days before allowing Peli, of all people, to inadvertently talk him into thawing you and helping you find your way back home.

The mechanic had went on her own little tour inside the Razor Crest when he had stopped by for her to fix some things, and upon her little expedition she stuck her nose where it hadn’t belonged.

In the frozen bounties.

That was when she had spotted you, frozen in carbonite with a look of terror marring your beautiful face. 

Peli had immediately gone on and on about how great you were, hanging out with her and the droids to gamble in rounds of Sabacc despite you losing every single time. Then in Peli fashion she had said too much, she went into your sob story, how you were trying to get back home after being separated from your family and seeing your parents killed by stormtroopers right in front of your eyes, and how the bounty on your head was because you had escaped from your slavemaster. So you eventually turned to stealing and conning others in order to survive while you tried to find your way back to your home planet.

”What slave trade was she in?” He had stupidly asked.

”She’s a beautiful young woman, what do you think tin can?”

”The bounty’s too high for an escaped slave.”

”That’s because she left with a little souvenir,” Peli had grinned.

”…What did she take?”

”The bastards cock.”

And that’s why Din Djarin never asked kriffing questions.

Half way towards Nevarro, going through hyperspace. Din had found himself leaving the cockpit and heading towards the captured bounties.

He had flipped through them until he landed on you.

With a sigh, he had unfroze you.

He still remembers the wail that escaped your tense throat and the absolute panic that radiated from you. You were disoriented and blinded from the carbonite and Din had to hold you down to keep you from hurting yourself while you cried about not being able to see.

He had to sooth your panic… something he was certainly not very adept at. But once he had gotten through to you, once he had told you the blindness would wear off, and when he had told you he would help you get back home. Only then, did you calm down.

Little did he know, you lived on an unknown planet in the outer rim, with the strangest kriffing orbital pattern.

So now, almost two years later, you were still with him and Grogu.

There was a particular noise Grogu made behind him that made you giggle in response, and your giggle had made Din’s traitorous heart skip a beat.

He swallowed nervously, keeping his eyes ahead of him in space, once again ignoring the urge to turn around.

Right… there was also that.

It was something that he would forever blame on Mayfeld— if that bastard had just kept his big mouth shut Din maybe would have had a chance of living a life in denial until dropping you off on your home planet only then realizing what had been happening once it was too late.

He was falling for you.

It was so kriffing stupid and made him feel like a teenager all over again. He knew it was ridiculous, he knew it would never happen, but that didn’t stop his thoughts from straying to you or worrying over you whenever you had tagged along on a job.

It was an observation Migs Mayfeld had pointed out during a job he needed help with, and he could no longer ignore his feelings, not with it being said out in the open. The words taunted him, feeling as if they just hung in the air now whenever he was around you.

”Didn’t know you were wife shopping. Looking for a mom for Grogu so you can keep playing house?”

”I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Din had replied.

Mayfeld had furrowed his brow, looking at Mando like he was insane, “Don’t act like I haven’t noticed you hogging her from the moment I stepped onto this ship. I haven’t been able to say two things to the woman without you hovering.”

”That’s not—“

”Alright. Let me ask her out then.”

“What?”

”What. She’s pretty and single, so I’m gonna ask her out,” with that he had headed to the door of the cockpit, putting his hand on the handle to go to the bunker below but before he could open it Mando had placed a hand on the door, holding it shut.

His own actions had shocked himself.

”Interesting.”

Mando hadn’t known what to say, so he remained silent.

”A little advice. Just tell her— who knows? Maybe she has a thing for quiet, brooding Mandalorians.”

He was fucked from that moment on.

”Shifting into hyperspace.”

You hummed in response behind him as he shifted the ship into hyperspace as to continue the search for your home planet.

Din stared into space as the stars zipped past the ship in striking lights of blue. A beautiful sight that’s gotten all too familiar, causing it to lose it’s original charm.

But slowly he spun in his seat to witness one sight that didn’t have the capability of losing its charm.

Just as Din had assumed, there you sat in the copilot’s chair, forehead pressed against Grogu’s as you stared lovingly into his eyes with a grin. Grogu’s small hand had come up to pat your cheek.

It reminded him of the first time you had seen Grogu. 

You had been sitting in his bunker for a few days as you waited for your sight to return, Grogu had been in his hammock as usual. It was morning and you had just woken up to find your eye sight had returned just enough for you to finally get around safely. 

You had known that there was a baby on board, but what you hadn’t expected was to be greeted with the sight of the small creature with impossibly large and innocent eyes.

Din was barely able to pry Grogu from your hands that entire day.

So you had done this a lot with the child.

He had never asked why, the same way you had never asked him about his helmet or the things he would do due to his creed so it didn’t quite feel right for the Mandalorian to ask you about your own peculiar habits.

But something felt different in this moment. 

And whatever that was, it had compelled him to finally put the words into question.

”Why do you do that?” Came the smooth modulated voice from his helmet.

You perked up, lifting your forehead from Grogu’s to meet the same blank stare of Mando’s helmet that you have grown so accustomed to.

”Do what?” Your smile was giddy— a smile that the child always seemed to pull out of you… He’d be lying if it didn’t make him the slightest bit jealous, even if he knew it was silly.

”Stare into his eyes like that.”

”Oh,” you hummed, gazing back down to stroke Grogu’s cheek just below his eye, before peering back up at Mando. “It’s a uh— custom, I guess you could say.  Something my people do back home.”

Din was quiet for a moment. 

You both had been quite similar to one another. Neither one of you spoke much but instead allowed actions to take precedent over words. 

It was one of the reasons you both worked well together. A deeper understanding that transcended the use of words.

But that also lead to crossroads such as this, where Din wanted to learn more about you but didn’t know how to ask you, while you needed the prompting since you never just gave it up.

So he stammered, “Does it— Does it mean something or…” he trailed off awkwardly.

You finally straighten up to start addressing him properly. You laughed softly at his flustered words, “Where’s this sudden curiosity stemming from,” you grinned.

”…You just do it a lot.” He spoke softly.

You hummed again, thinking about how you could explain this cornerstone of your culture to him. 

Truthfully you were quite open about this particular thing but with Mando being a Mandalorian you had decided to keep it to yourself. You’ve always figured that at best he wouldn’t understand where you were coming from but at worst it could accidentally end up insulting his entire way of life… so you kept it shut away.

You had never offered it up and he had never pried.

Until now it seemed.

You quirked your head in thought before deciding to ultimately bite the bolt.

”My people believe that love comes from the eyes.”

Mando didn’t respond.

So you elaborated, “The concept of love, no matter what kind, is very important in my culture. You could say it’s what we are all about. Just as the Mandalorians are trained to fight and handle weapons as part of your religion, love is the main focus for us.”

”… The Mandalorians believe in love.” He responded softly, something was beginning to ache within himself at your words.

You nodded, “Yes, the loyalty that the Mandalorians have is very similar to us— it’s my favorite part of the Mandalorian Creed if I am being honest.”

Din was starting to realize that you may have known more about him and his people than he did about you and yours all along.

”However, we were never strong believers in learning how to fight… it was how the Empire was able to target us and invade the planet. Everything I learned, the stealing, the conning, how to fight back in combat and fire a blaster goes against everything I ever believed in,” you said sadly, eyes falling back to the baby in your arms who cooed at you.

The ache was rapidly growing within Mando’s chest. He had asked you to steal for him during certain jobs, you were smaller than him and quite efficient at the task. He had also had you aid him in fights and… he was the one that wanted to teach you how to fire a blaster. A memory he once found intimate had quickly soured at the thought of making you turn your back on your beliefs.

He felt sick. But you continued.

”Perhaps we were just too peaceful, but I loved every minute of it. My parents were madly in love, the way my father would look at my mother always made me want to find a man that would look at me the same way one day. What I do with Grogu is something parents do with their babies to convey how much they love them.”

”I didn’t know you were such a romantic.”

You smiled at Din— a heart stopping smile, “You’re not the only one that’s secretly a softy.”

”I’m not—“

You wordlessly held Grogu up, making him concede your point.

”So eyes, huh?” He asked, not sure if he wanted to hear anymore but at the same time he liked hearing you speak about something you clearly held so much passion for.

If he knew it was this easy to get you to talk this whole time, he would have asked sooner.

”Yes,” you nodded, “We believe our eyes say things our lips can’t even attempt to say with words. I suppose some of our habits are quite strange when you think about it.”

”Like what?”

”Well… it was quite easy to tell when someone wanted to pursue you, all you had to do was keep eye contact when talking to them and pretty soon they would take the hint. School kids have a funny thing they do when they have a crush on someone— during lectures it wasn’t unusual for kids to be staring at the one they liked throughout the class— it drove our teachers crazy,” you giggled, “There was one time I had three boys staring at me at once during a lecture— I was a bit of a heartthrob back then if you could believe,” you laughed again.

’I do’

Din forced a dry laugh.

”When lovers are alone, you would simply gaze into your partners eyes for as long as you wanted. No words would need to be said because everything was said with their eyes— we also value physical touch quite a bit so you could imagine where those situations likely ended up.” You blushed, looking out the windshield of the ship.

”Did you have a lover,” his voice shook.

”I did,” you nodded, “Again, I was quite the heartthrob. We were together until I ran from home after my parents were killed. That was when I fled to Coruscant just to end up a slave,” your voice soured, “I suppose I was just too trusting.”

”You were never taught that not everyone has good intentions,” he suddenly realized.

You nodded, “I guess you could say that. Not everyone on my planet was good, we’re all just human after all, but I never thought…” you trailed off. Din watched as you tried to blink back a set of tears before continuing, “But yes, I had a boyfriend— he had the most beautiful green eyes. I would stare into them for hours. He was one of the most desired boys in my town and all the girls were jealous of me but… the Empire would come to take everything away.”

Din shut his eyes, wanting the pain that took hold of his heart to ebb away as he asked his next question, “Are you trying to get back to him?”

You sighed, “No. We were only children then. He’s grown and I’m grown— I know that I am no longer the same person he once knew and I am sure he’s carried on with his life. But that’s alright,” You finally looked back at Mando.

It was quiet once more. Din was trying to swallow down his emotion while you continued to reflect on your home.

Din could almost hear is heart beating in the silence.

”We used to play a game as kids, two friends would gaze into each other���s eyes and…” you trailed off before your eyes suddenly lit up. “We should play.” 

“But I can’t—“ 

“That’s okay, we can still play,” you said excitedly, placing Grogu back into his pram, who had been talking now at the sudden excitement. 

You stood up, grasping Mando’s hand to stand him up and pull him behind the seats of the cockpit to the open space.

”Kneel,” you said, climbing onto your knees and pulling him down by the hand.

He quickly did as you said so that you were kneeling across from each other.

”Can you take your gloves off?”

Din wordlessly took them off.

”Okay so— if this is too much you can stop me, but this was the game,” you picked up his gloveless hands and placed them to cup your nape and the back of your head, your own hands then coming to cup his. “Is it alright if I touch your skin?”

”Yeah,” Din exhaled, already with his head in a spin.

With his consent you had slid your fingers and palms into the cowl of his flight suit and cupped the warm skin of his neck.

”Now,” you pulled him forward so his helmet touched your forehead, causing his breath to hitch.

He was beginning to see even more, how different the two of you were, where this was just a game for you but for him… this was a keldabe kiss. 

“All we have to do is stare into each other eyes for a little while— now this’ll mostly be a game for you so just stare into my eyes.”

And so he did.

Din focused on the exchange of warmth between his hands and your neck, feeling how much smaller your neck was compared to his own hands. And focused on the feeling of your hands on his neck and— Maker, you were playing with hairs of his nape causing his eyes to roll bac— he snapped out of it and looked back into your eyes.

It was dark in hyperspace but there was just enough light from the stars to see them reflecting in your eyes. He could almost make out the patterns of your iris. He noted the way you had to peer up at him through your lashes due to your heights. 

He both hated and loved his helmet in this very moment. He understood what you had meant, your eyes held so much in them and he would spend hours trying to figure out each emotion in them if he could. But he was secretly grateful that you couldn’t see him staring at you like a Massiff stares at a Tusken Raider when getting attention.

It hurt something deep within himself to realize he could never give you the one thing you believed to be the cornerstone of love.

Din could swear is loyalty to you, keep you protected and safe, he could do everything in his power to give you a happy life.

But he could never let you look in his eyes.

There would be no loving gazes exchanged between you both, he could never look at you the way your father looked at your mother, he could never gaze into your eyes for hours until someone bent first and had the night end in a passion of your shared love.

And it was something Din couldn’t knowingly ask you to abandon.

”Okay,” you finally spoke, jarring him from the trance your eyes held him in. “Remember the size of my pupil.”

”Alright.”

A moment later you had closed your eyes. “Now the lighting isn’t ideal but the point of the game is to see if I fell in love with you after that. So when I open my eyes if my pupil gets bigger than it did before, I’m in love.”

He said nothing. 

You opened your eyes.

Din Djarin knew that this was just a silly kids game you played back home. He knew that this was terrible lighting. He knew that if you couldn’t connect with him through his eyes like you were taught and raised to believe then there was little hope that you could ever fall in love with him.

And yet… he could have sworn your pupils got just half a milimeter larger.

[kerubimcrepin]

Liveblog - Dofus, livre 1 : Julith [PART 11]

As I've mentioned, Kerubim and Julith have Beef.

As far as she is concerned, whether he was behind her framing (he wasn't) he is one of the people to blame. He defeated her that fateful day, and then she never saw her son again.

I've already went into detail, on the way "killing" her has affected him, (A mixture of horror and duty. Killing a mother and making a child an orphan for the sake of a city. Being grateful for her dying because it made him a father instead. Feeling awful for that thought.) but it is interesting, how he reacted to her turning out to be alive, when he killed her with his own hands.

Seething. Perhaps even coping.

This is chichala, which we had seen. I suppose he uses it to buff himself up before the boss fight. Drinking alcohol before a fight is very much RPG logic.

Sadly, there are no interesting buffs to it in-game:

I think a lot about the way Kerubim, Joris, and Atcham would be characterized in video game logic, by the way. I still have no working theory of how the hell their fighting styles would synergize. Would Joris be their buffer/debuffer? Their glass canon? Both? And do any of them take ranged weapons on missions...?

They probably do. It'd be kinda dumb not to. Personally, I like to imagine that Atcham would be the one using those, most of the time. He has that "skyrim stealth archer" vibe to him. (Though they're all melee users, through and through.)

Despite how smug he is at a couple of moments, he really was struggling during this fight.

My honest reaction whenever Kerubim does this fucking face is just:

This is very much a "deeply mentally ill adoptive father (who inadvertently ruined his child's life by adopting them to atone for his sins + because he was abused as a child) fighting through an army for his child before dying in their arms and saying they're the only good thing he ever had" look for him.

Another reason that one has to support both women's rights and wrongs when talking about Julith, is that, like.,.. what was she playing at, here? There are two possibilities:

That she would destroy whoever has the dragon's soul and set it free, giving her an advantage.

That Kerubim would shield that person.

Either one is good. :)

Either way she was perfectly willing to risk/attempt blowing up a random, innocent person, who was hiding from her.

My personal headcanon is that while Julith is physically stronger than Kerubim, she lost ten years prior because she couldn't stop thinking about The Baby. Where were they taking Joris? Did Bakara leave with him? Is Joris alright? Didn't Jahash give him to this cat man, who was now trying to kill her? What the fuck is going on, who did this, why, why, why?

I imagine seeing him lose for the exact same reason brings her great pleasure.

the nonbinary slay here was insane

Guys I think this might be bad for Joris's long term mental stability.

On a more serious note, I think there should be more content about Joris fucking hating Julith. During the movie? There's too much going on to work out what he feels.

But after? He has all the time in the world to hate her for everything she did.

I do think that he probably grew up and found whoever framed her to take revenge on/to get justice. But hating her, and wanting to clear her name of the crimes she DIDN'T commit so she could have some peace in death, so that people would stop smearing her name, — are two things that can coexist.

Like to slap his bald scaly head, reblog to slap his bald scaly head.

Kerubim never changed his stupid ass baka "George George the Farmer Farmer" name.

Though we've been knew.

BAD. I DON'T LIKE THIS.

AND she recognizes him by the blue eyes. AND, this implies that, for the entirety of the Dofus show, — and the entirety of Wakfu as well, since he, once again, has yellow eyes there, — he had dragon eyes.

Imagine being Simone, waking up at 3am, realizing because you forgot something in Joris and Kerubim's bedroom, sneaking in, and seeing this.

It also raises some questions about adult Joris, because we know he no longer has Grougalorasalar in him. The easiest explanation is that he spent so much time with the dragon, that after their final separation, his eyes couldn't change anymore.

After all, — the changes the dragon made to his height/skin/hair are permanent. It would make sense that, with time, even his eyes would be permanently altered.

I don't think it's a sad thing, by the way. Imagine going your whole life with beautiful brown eyes that look a bit like your adoptive father's. Then imagine suddenly having blue eyes (scary) and that they're your Dead Father's Who You Never Met but whom everyone misses. Like which pair of eyes would you choose? Because I think there IS a right answer to this riddle.

I think Julith has convinced herself that whoever took her and Jahash out wouldn't want loose ends, and that Joris was taken out as well, or something. Maybe that's why he wasn't really on her mind.

Mind you, this is a tinfoil hat headcanon.

This is so beautiful, to me... She was so emotionally stricken by seeing him again as his mother, that his father, who was both fatally wounded and stricken by seeing her perform deeply painful dark rituals on his son after traumatizing him, could land one last hit on her to save said son.

Julith has been a mother for a grand total of a few days to a month, while Kerubim has been for 10 years. Of course, her first concern is getting surprised it's him, and not that she hurt him. Because she couldn't even dream that she'd ever see him again.

There's a tragedy in that. She never even had a chance to learn how to be his mother, or who he is as a person, — she was the mother of an infant. Her love for him is far more theoretical than Kerubim's.

It's a love for Joris not as a person, but as a lost opportunity.

So she has no regrets about hurting him, — and she will hurt him as many times as it takes, if that's what it takes to get back her family.

[twothpaste]

I often call the Pigmasks fascists and militants and stuff along those lines. And like, yeah, they are. In the loosest sense. They're meant to represent these things, to a certain extent. But I feel like the big asterisk is that they're really just a cartoon performance of militarism. Porky isn't re-enacting real authoritarian violence, he's emulating his favorite comic books and action movies. Not some tactically-minded authoritarian dictator, just a child playing toy soldiers. Albeit with real people, who scarcely manage to bumble through the motions. The chain of command is so poorly organized, Pigmasks sometimes express outright confusion about who's in charge, or what they're expected to be doing. They step on each others' toes constantly. They talk a big game, but cower and lose resolve at the drop of a hat. They hardly know how to wield military force in any productive way. Porky certainly doesn't. His Commander and his army never actually kill anybody, either. In fact, I kinda get the impression murder's beyond the pale for them. That even Porky himself would be viscerally unnerved by that level of violence, like a kid who gets scared when he plays too rough and inadvertently draws blood.

The whole operation's as cardboard-thin as New Pork City. And it only (barely) functions because Tazmily & Nowhere are such a docile, pristine, perfectly innocent little bubble. I think the facade is kinda the point. They're not really imposing at all, at the end of the day. A mildly damning parody of the real deal, at worst. But there's something unnerving about seeing a child's play concept of military might made manifest. That this blundering mob of brainwashed soldier LARPers is Porky's idea of "power." And that so many Pigmasks just go along with it, in pursuit of a paycheck, or personal gain, or sheer reverence for the status quo.

[jewishbarbies]

So I debated for a long time whether to send this or not bc I explicitly do not want to equate what's happening in I/P to fiction or in any way trivialize the very real people who have died

But I find it incredibly ironic (in a bad way) how the leftist circles screaming about Zionism are the same circles that are STILL openly proudly fans of tv shows/books/movies that depict war in genuinely nuanced ways. Ways that EXPLICITLY contradict the black and white narratives exploding in leftist spaces.

So like. Did y'all miss the point or do you think nuance is for fiction only? There are innocent civilians on every side in war and civilians shouldn't be blamed for the actions of their governments --but only in fiction? In the real world it's fine to celebrate civilian casualties as long as they're Israeli? Guilt by association in fiction is bad but every Jewish person should be held accountable for the Israeli military???

Like I'm intentionally not naming any fandoms bc this SHOULDN'T be about fandoms, but the hypocrisy is killing me. They claim to be fans of the "killing civilians is bad even when they're from the Bad Culture™" shows but they're out in the real world denying (or worse celebrating) Oct 7th? They love the fictional characters who say "killing civilians is bad" but can't stand Jewish people mourning the civilians in israel? What???

(again, I'm really not trying to make this extremely real problem about fiction. I just mean the complete lack of self awareness I see every day has me ready to explode. )

no, i get what you mean. i definitely think there's a link between the massive drop in critical thinking and media literacy and the fandomization of real world issues. there's some statistic that gen z is the most politically active of most previous generations and while that's inherently a good thing, they're not engaging with politics and conflicts in responsible ways. they'll do a lot of organizing for a cause here in america and get something done, and then think they can do the same thing for international plights and just end up stepping on everyone's toes, inadvertently perpetuating that america-centric attitude they claim to be against, bc they don't listen.

a lot of people these days refuse to engage with media in the way it's intended and therefore ignore or flat out miss its entire message. you'll have a movie/show/book/whatever about the nuances of war, like the hunger games (which gen z is so completely misinterpreting), and how easy it is to become the person you're fighting against if you let yourself do the things they do eye for an eye style, and they'll come away from that comparing hamas to katniss. it makes no sense within the context of the book's narrative, yet that's the conclusion they draw because they refuse to properly engage. it contradicts their second-hand anger. they're mad about their own shitty life in the states and the powerlessness we all feel here as our rights are being threatened every single day, and they'll look for somewhere else to put it all. so they butt in to situations they don't belong in and make it worse like bulls in a china closet.

bottom line is that they see what they want to see because of their lack of self reflection and self awareness, thus allowing their lack of media literacy, critical thinking, and confirmation bias run the way they think and believe. they've taken "it's fiction" to the point where none of them would pass a basic english class and now palestinians and hamas are all blorbos in The Real World Show.

[raayllum]

Anyway, I want to talk about this exchange between mostly Viren and a little Aaravos, and how I think it'll pertain to Callum and Rayla's dynamic going forward, since as most of the people following me probably already know, Viren-Aaravos Callum-Rayla is one of the most consistent four-way foil dynamics in the show. Where Aaravos pushes Viren further down that dark path, yet eventually is the reason Viren breaks away entirely (thanks to his fever dreams because Aaravos made him do dark magic in 4x09), while Rayla is already consistently trying to get Callum off of it, yet has inadvertently pushed him further down it in a few ways in S4 and S5. Quote about Rayla from TDP's head writer here.

With all that initial stuff out of the way, let's talk about it.

The first is that when the possession plot line comes back around Rayla will be called to make a Sacrifice, just as Viren was, but instead of being an innocent creature he has no attachment (which is the moral test Viren needed), Rayla's tendency to sacrifice whatever is personally important to her for the good of the world will be in direct opposition with well, not wanting to sacrifice Callum by any means necessary. And she, like Viren, will refuse.

And so will, I think, Callum, at least in a way. Let me explain.

By far the most interesting, indicative, and arguably important word in the exchange is "because," i.e. "I find myself here at these horrifying crossroads because I have followed a dark path." He's had to make this awful, difficult, horrible choices because of his prior choices; they all snowballed. They all became a slippery slope (as Sarai would say). He wasn't just randomly dropped into it. As his younger self says in his dreams, "Every step is a choice."

And now Callum has opened the door of dark magic back up again, and thereby left himself more vulnerable (presumably) to being possessed again in the future. A consequence because he did dark magic, and because he has a darker side (and potential darker path ahead of him). It makes me think more and more that Rayla is going to get stabbed / seriously injured when he's possessed again, and that will be what forces Callum to another crossroads: her death with Aaravos remaining trapped, or saving her life but setting his enemy free. A sacrifice he's willing to make and a sacrifice he's not.

This is furthered by the idea running throughout Callum and Rayla's dynamic of "They might save you or they might kill you" "Exactly, just like me" (book one novelization) where Rayla will save Callum because she refuses to kill him. But, given the way their dynamic is now interwoven with Aaravos and Rayla's own parallels to Aaravos, if Callum isn't going to kill him, yet, either... Then doesn't he kinda have to save him? (More of a reach, I know, but listen with the salvation and destruction theme the exchange makes more sense I swear).

And either way, Aaravos doesn't have to make the choice for him; Callum will play right into his hands anyway.

[catcas22]

Gushing about my new campaign!

I'm four sessions into my first campaign (as GM) and it's going great! I volunteered to run a campaign to give three of our forever-gms a chance to play, which ended up being a great way for me to get my feet wet as a gm -- three of my four players are highly knowledgeable about the rules, good at improv, and love being in character.

I've got so many plans for upcoming sessions, but unfortunately I can't rant to my usual dnd friends because they're in the campaign and I don't want to spoil the plot (@thatboreddrake this is your warning to block #catsfallcampaignspoilers).

Said spoilers below, if anyone wants to hear me ramble.

The campaign takes place in a standard fantasy setting, but about fifteen years out from a zombie apocalypse. The king got tired of paying wages to his living soldiers and figured paying a couple of necromancers to raise him an undead army would be cheaper. Things went wrong in predictable fashion.

The players are as follows:

Alvar: A bloodhunter afflicted with dragon-flavored lycanthropy after he inadvertently picked up a cursed coin from the horde of a lichdragon. He can't get rid of the coin now, and is violently paranoid that someone will try to steal it from him. Since he killed quite a few people before he learned to somewhat control his curse, he now travels the land protecting innocents and slaying less scrupulous monsters as a way to pay back that debt.

Xenitor: An owlin abjuration wizard. A field researcher for a network of scholars working to gather and preserve as many spells and texts as possible, before they are lost forever in a zombie-induced Dark Age. The type to try to steal Alvar's coin out of pure scientific curiosity.

Hiro: Tom Sawyer-flavored bard. An optimistic young drifter just looking to make friends and go on adventures (who is a reborn and doesn't know it). Due to constantly flubbing his history/insight checks, he still sees Sebastian as a perfectly trustworthy, somewhat eccentric, but definitely-not-a-vampire gentleman. He has seen Sebastian walk on walls and bite people.

Sebastian Pietro Vasquez de Cornelio IV: Dhampir conquest paladin. A nobleman from a family that intermarried with vampires generations ago, recently cast out for mouthing off to the family patriarch. Talks like he's in the Spanish Inquisition, dresses like he's in the Swiss Guard. Having been disinherited by his family, his goal is now to start his own noble house, presumably with blackjack and hookers.

It took him five minutes to surprise-adopt Hiro to act as his herald.

After saving the small town of Alderford from an undead horde, the party did a bit of investigating and found that the town's palisade had been sabotaged. Asking around town revealed that the local liege lord, Barnabas Dunwich, had raised taxes to the point where the people of Alderford said he could take his troops and leave, they'd raise a militia to defend themselves rather than continue to pay his protection money.

A bit more poking around, and the party correctly concludes that Dunwich had left some men behind to deliberately lure the undead towards Alderford. Party sets out for the abandoned watchtower, where they believe Dunwich's men to be hiding.

This is about where the derailment started, but I'll write up the rest later. Suffice to say, I'm having a great time!

[decepti-thots]

as we're talking about how tarantulas views prowl re: his behaviour towards others, this is going a little off on a tangent so i'll put it in its own post, but i was thinking the other day about the positive reinforcement prison and what it tells us about mesothulas and prowl in terms of what they were doing together.

mesothulas got told to make a perfect prison. so he created a perfect prison. the positive reinforcement prison is clearly a fucking fantastic way to ensure you reduce the likelihood of escape to near-zero. it completely disincentivizes any resistance. it keeps a threat pretty close to perfectly contained. it's clearly horribly immoral, for a start it LITERALLY brainwashes people- but prowl asked for a perfect prison and he got a perfect prison, courtesy of mesothulas.

prowl's objection to the prison is notably not like his objection to the noisemaze; it's not one of ethics. no, mesothulas mentions offhandedly that prowl felt that it was an issue because it didn't punish the prisoners enough. it rendered them completely harmless and secure, but that wasn't what prowl wanted, apparently. what's the point of punishing prisoners who are at no risk of escaping and therefore need no dissuading? well… prowl presumably just feels they 'ought' to, because they 'deserve it'. his sense of morality is one where you punish people who 'deserve it' regardless of whether it serves any actual purpose.

mesothulas has absolutely no moral compass. but the thing is, that really is no moral compass. he will do what he wants to do and it does not matter if it hurts other people doing it; but he doesn't have any active desire to hurt other people either. they're just irrelevant. he'll torture roadbuster if it gets him what he wants, but he doesn't tell himself roadbuster 'deserves it', even just in the sense of 'he's beneath me' or whatever. he just sees it as a way to get from point a to point b. hence the positive reinforcement prison: it's not that he wants to spare anyone suffering, he just wants to find the most efficient solution to the problem.

prowl has a moral compass, unlike mesothulas. he thinks that evil exists and must be defeated, he thinks harm to others is bad in the abstract, he thinks he has a righteous cause, all that. this pretty much universally results in him doing much more harm than mesothulas overall, because no moral compass is bad, but a sense of morality and therefore drive which is turned to bad ends in the name of 'justice' is often worse. mesothulas doesn't care about the war and never gave a shit about making weapons to fight it. prowl, in his desire to end the war at any cost, gets him to make a bomb and nukes a refugee city. mesothulas didn't care about that, but it never would have occurred to him to do that if prowl hadn't incentivized it. mesothulas doesn't care about 'bad guys' getting what they 'deserve', so he's happy to make a perfect prison that doesn't punish anyone if that's not a required part of making it work. prowl, who needs the 'bad guys' to be punished to satisfy his sense of morality, insists upon shelving it in favour of something less inadvertently merciful. (spark extraction doesn't seem to be torture, but it's clearly not actively pleasant.)

and mesothulas makes stuff! he doesn't do it for altruistic reasons. but he makes things; he makes a whole person, in fact, just to do the making part. he makes ostaros! and sure, his original motivation there was almost certainly pure fascination… but that doesn't change that fact that he is capable of creating something wonderful just because he wants to do so.

meanwhile, prowl tosses mesothulas in the noisemaze because his sense of moral injury gets too great… and then that sense of guilt doesn't stop him from trying incredibly fucking hard to kill ostaros, the absolute most innocent person it's possible to be. he KNOWS he shouldn't, and so he tries to get around his own inability to do so by sending impactor. it's not a. subtle difference between them.

it makes me think of that bit in OP #25, the epilogue issue post-Unicron... where prowl talks to shockwave about how he understands now that it's not what you think that matters ('our hopes'), but what you do. prowl thinks of himself as inherently more moral than mesothulas no matter what he does because he has the ability to feel the way you're 'supposed' to about things. sure, he only ever destroyed, whereas mesothulas could make things. but mesothulas is selfish, and prowl cares about other people. sure, prowl did terrible things that killed people, and mesothulas in large part only helped because prowl enabled him to. but prowl feels bad about nuking that city, and mesothulas only wouldn't have done it on his own because he doesn't care. sure, mesothulas also, you know. wouldn't have done it. but prowl thinks that an important part of being Good is following a certain set of moral rules as dictated by society, and he sees himself as achieving that where mesothulas fails, so he must be better in a moral sense. that's why he thinks getting rid of mesothulas will fix what he's done, stop him doing bad stuff. he thinks mesothulas is just fundamentally a worse person because there's something wrong with him, and prowl is fundamentally a good person because he has what mesothulas lacks, and when it turns out to be more complicated than that he has no idea how to fix it. and he cannot conceive of the idea that he made mesothulas more dangerous at least as much as the reverse is true, because he can't imagine anything being worse than not having a sense of morality.

[jemelrdraws]

Spider-Woman 2112 and the Reunion

Summary: Gabriella O'Hara is Spider-Woman in Nueva York year 2112 where she encounters a visitor from another dimension

Word Count: 1786

"Let's find somewhere close, just to lay…down." Gabriella swung to the top of a nearby building just clearing the ledge. As she released her web, she rolled across the roof until the momentum slowed her to a complete stop.

"Owwwwuhh…" There she laid on her back, just relieved to be at rest. Luckily no one was there, no gliders, no people, nothing but the evening sky and the hushed lights from the surrounding buildings. Vibrant shades of pinks and yellows and blues shaded the sky as glimmers of twilight beamed in the distance. She pulled her mask just above the bridge of her nose to smell the night air.

"Okay I'll swing home in 5 minutes." 

The city bustled below her as she inhaled the chilly air, faint sounds of sirens and glider traffic ever-present. In some ways, it was peaceful.

"This is nice," she thought to herself. She was relieved that the mission wasn't a total disaster. This was a new one, Voodoo Priestess Calypso or something rather. For the love of God no more new villains!

This job was fun, and also scary sometimes; a lot of times actually. But she still loved being Spider-Woman.

"Sometimes I wish it didn't take so much work," she thought to herself. "Am I burnt out?"

"I should get going," Gabriella sat up, taking in the beauty that was Nueva York for a moment. That is, until her spider-senses began to tingle. In the corner of her eye, she spotted a light coming from across the platform. "Ahh, shit!"

She scrambled to pull her mask down over her face and quickly jumped to her feet as the light became stronger.  She knew something was coming.

The light got brighter, until it was many lights and way too bright to be any glider or flash beam. With shades of pinks and yellows and reds reflecting onto the ground, Gabriella had no idea what this was.

"What the f—..."

Seemingly from thin air, a portal appeared. Gabriella shielded her eyes to avoid going blind, but inadvertently blocked the view of the figure flying right at her. Before she could even register what was happening, a man barrelled towards her out of the portal, dive-rolled onto the ground and landed on his feet right in front of her.

Donning a spider suit of his own, the man was tall and muscular. Gabriella was confused. Was this some kind of alternate spider person? 

The man looked around and then zeroed in on Gabriella, "Where is he?? Where is he?!"

"Where is who?"

"MILES MORALES. MILES MORALES."

"Sorry," Gabriella replied, signifying that she did not know who he was talking about. Her eyes shifted away from him and towards the portal. "Is that a portal?"she asked as she pointed at the portal.

"I'm here for ---..."

"Are you like a spider…man?" Gabriella interrupted again, pointing up and down at his suit.

"What? I'm not like a Spider-Man... I am Spider-Man, and I'm from another dimension…"

"Really? We still can't do that." She said, shrugging her shoulders. She was well-acquainted as a research intern at Alchemax. Dimension hopping was a tough one, at least doing it without disappearing. Clearly they were behind other universes. She refocused on the situation at hand.  "Sorry, so, you're searching for Miles Morales?"

"Yes. You're the local spider, right? I'm trying to find Miles Morales! Did you see anyone come through a portal like this?" He had never been to this dimension as he had all the others involved in spider society. Just judging from her spider suit, he was confident this was the right person.

"No, sorry…" she responded.

"You do not understand! He will cause irreparable damage to the arachnohumanoid poly-multiverse and kill billions of innocent people!"

"The what??"

Gabriella had already been doing this job for 3 years and had already seen just about everything possible to the imagination. But this was new...very new.

"This is a shocking mess! Nevermind," Spider-Man exclaimed, completely ignoring her. She was asking too many questions to be helpful. He motioned to program his multiverse watch to reopen the portal.

"Wait! I can help you find him." She was fully aware that this was a somewhat self-serving motivation in order to dimension hop. But this Miles guy sounded dangerous.

"Fine!" he replied, exasperated, needing to be gone already.

"Sweet!" Gabriella exclaimed in a celebratory manner.

Spider-Man stared at her.

"Sorry.." she said sheepishly, struggling to hide her excitement. "I'm Spider-Woman, by the way."

"GREAT!" Spider-Man responded sarcastically. "We need to go NOW!" He motioned to open the portal and set his destination for another universe. 

"You can call me Gabi though," she continued, finishing her statement.

"'Gabi', is it?" He didn't really care, he was a bit preoccupied. The portal reopened and he motioned to jump through.

"Yep. Well, Gabriella actually. Gabriella O'Hara."

"What? Gabriella O'Hara?" He whipped his head around to look at her, stopping right before jumping through the portal.

"Yes?" 

He stood there, staring at her. Could there be a Gabriella O'Hara in this universe? How did he miss that? The name was common enough for any girl or woman, but what if it was her? Was she this universe's Spider-Woman? Feelings of hope and anticipation preoccupied his mind. He was no longer focused on Miles Morales.

"Gabriella O'Hara?"

"YES, my name is Gabriella O'Hara. Geeze. Who are you? Since we're revealing secret identities."

He hesitated for a moment. 

"Miguel O'Hara…"

"What?" She paused for a moment, studying his body language before continuing.

"I'm sorry, I just hallucinated. I thought you said 'Miguel O'Hara'," she said, shaking her head softly, convinced that doing so would rid her of the hallucination she just had. 

"I did, my name is Miguel O'Hara."

She stared at him for a few seconds. Who else would have that name? "That was my dad's name," she said before lifting her mask to get a better look at him. Miguel stared into her eyes and knew immediately.  A flood of emotion overwhelmed him as he was confronted with her, and all of the memories. His feelings of guilt and grief emerged to the surface all at once. She was an alternate version of his daughter.

Gabriella pulled out her AI assistant tablet and showed Miguel her home screen. He looked at the screen which was virtually a freeze frame of one of the videos he had of his daughter. This confirmed it.

"Gabi?" He asked her, his voice breaking, tears forming in his eyes. His holographic mask disappeared so she could see his face.  For as hardened as Miguel had become, there was one place where he would always be soft and vulnerable, and that was with her. Even if it was an alternate version of her.

She knew that voice. She knew that face. She couldn't believe what she was seeing. Her eyes began to well with tears.

"Dad?"

They stood across from one another in silence as the portal closed. Gabriella, taking in the sight of her father, seemingly alive and well and Miguel processing how, of all the billions of people in this universe, Gabriella O'Hara existed and served as this universe's Spider-Woman.

Gabriella broke the silence, stammering in shock and disbelief, "I mean...you look just like him." It had been seven years since she last saw her dad, who had gone missing during dimension travel trials at Alchemax. He was never found, and she was never the same.

"Well, I am him...sort of. 'Him' from another dimension, similar to this."

She was speechless at this point. 

It was the reunion both would only ever dream of. There they were, two broken people standing in the presence of the only ones who could make them whole again... sort of. Overcome with emotion, Gabriella moved towards Miguel and wrapped her arms around him pulling him close into a tender embrace. She felt only the familiar warmth and comforting energy that she felt with her own dad. It was the first time in a long time that she had felt completely safe. Miguel held Gabriella and squeezed her tightly, hoping that it would convey how deeply he understood what this moment meant to her.

Seven long years without him. Gabriella burrowed her face into Miguel's chest and wept. Her grief was palpable. 

As they embraced, Gabriella's spider-sense activated and revealed Miguel's innermost feelings. The depression and anxiety, the trauma of his own upbringing, the loss of a universe, the burden of spider society, the obsession with maintaining canon. She let out a small gasp and looked up at him with sympathetic eyes. She didn't have to say anything, Miguel stared at her for a moment before his face crumpled and he began to sob uncontrollably. 

"I'M SORRY!" he said through gasps of air. 

"MIJA…I'M...SO...SORRY!" Miguel put his hand up to cover his eyes as he cried harder. Harder than he had ever cried.

Gabriella rubbed his back to comfort him. She knew he wasn't talking to her, but to another Gabriella. She also acknowledged that she was the closest he would ever get.

"It's okay, it's not your fault." she whispered.

Miguel, through sobbing breaths, replied "IT IS! I was so SELFISH!" Miguel's voice was a low growl. Gabriella could sense the self-loathing and vitriol in his voice and the weight of the multiverse on his shoulders.

"You didn't know, how could you have known what would happen?" Gabriella hugged him again, just as she had done with her own father, just as Miguel's little Gabriella had done with him so many times before. 

"You deserve happiness."

"I DON'T, I DON'T! I am responsible for the deaths of BILLIONS of people! I HATE MYSELF FOR WHAT I DID!" His shoulders heaved as he cried.

Gabriella had questions about this theory and his characterization of events. But it wasn't the time. He was devastated.

She grabbed Miguel by his arms and peered up at his face. "You deserve happiness! You're not selfish for trying to be happy, or for trying to give that little girl a father again. This is a hard life, but we still choose it every single day. That doesn't mean we have to be miserable for it."

"Look at me," she said to him. He was still looking down, tears streaming down his face. She lightly grasped the hand that was covering his face and moved it downward to his side. 

"Can you look at me?" she asked tenderly. He looked up at her. 

"You've suffered enough. Maybe it's time to try something different.  For whatever else comes, you will find a way. We will find a way."

It was what Miguel needed to hear, the first time anyone had ever said it to him. He slowly nodded in agreement.

They embraced once again, Gabriella allowing Miguel to weep in her arms. It was the first time he had felt completely safe ever, safe enough to just...feel. There they stood in a sweet embrace, providing the protection and consolement to one another that they both so desperately needed. 

She wasn't his Gabriella, and he wasn't her dad but it didn't matter, it was close enough.