#but even if they ARENT innocent
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Hey, psst.
Believing that there are only good people and bad people and you have to categorize everyone into one or the other means you're most likely contributing to the amount of "bad" people in the world. If you quantify people by the amount of "bad" things they do, and throw them into a category they can't leave, they're going to lose all motivation to change and continue the cycle. Hurt people hurt people. As a former addict and someone who's easily demonized based on my symptoms, please stop categorizing everything as good or bad behaviors. The amount of times I've heard people say relapsing is a "bad" behavior yet in my actual programs I've been in I've heard that sometimes relapsing is a part of recovery, like... it drives me crazy. The world isn't black and white. Stop trying to make it black and white.
#tw addiction mention#tw relapse mention#this is particularly grating on me today#the amount of people who claim certain types of people#deserve to be killed#are inadvertently getting innocent people killed#and also are ruining innocent lives#but even if they ARENT innocent#no human being deserves to be killed for anything they do#eat the rich and all that sure#but more importantly#REDISTRIBUTE THEIR WEALTH#thats the actually important part#sure “kill all sex offenders” you say#but did you know most sex offenders were also sexually abused as children?#this isn't to say every sex offender is free of sin#they deserve to take responsibility for their actions ESPECIALLY they hurt others#but for fucks sake KILLING THEM IS NOT GOING TO FIX THE PROBLEM#its just going to make people who struggle hide their issues until it's too late to get help#and either they or someone else gets hurt#Not to mention#Did you know that being in an openly gay relationship before like...1980~?#Would get you put on the sex offender registry?#AND ITS NEAR IMPOSSIBLE TO APPEAL TO GET OFF OF IT?!
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Inspired by an idea from another fandom but; Danny has obvious trauma concerning adoption and is already aged out anyway- but for once every single sibling wants a new family member because Danny is... Danny.
He doesn't get upset over their wacky schedules, doesn't even blink at their chaotic dinners and family times, and manages to handle each of their unique ways of communicating without getting too confused or misunderstanding.
So when adoption is out of the picture? So begins the fight to marry Danny and make him a Wayne.
#danny phantom#batfam#dc comics#fic idea#i just imagine this started out as an innocent query on how to make danny family and ended in a brawl#i also like that danny would probably click with a lot of the batfamily#and also manage to handle their communication issues#because he handles ghost and also manages sam and tucker#damian is out of the running almost instantly as he only tries the once#danny turns him down gently and invites him to play with cujo anytime#half the contestants arent even fighting seriously they're just fighting for fun or on principal#side eye stephanie and tim here#duke tries the normal approach and gets whacked by danny being dense#alfred almost sets them all in timeout when he catches wind of this#but really would love to have his new grandson-in-law over more often#bruce has no clue whats happening
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really weird thing ive noticed lately re: hermits getting critiqued for stuff theyve said or done is that as soon as someone holds a shit opinion (even if it's just them being stupid, or a centrist, or saying a bad word without knowing what it means, or whatever) people immediately seem to flock to the 'this guy should die' 'kys' 'why are we giving this person a platform' rhetoric and like. that's not how meaningful change is made?
like, yeah, if one of my beloved CCs posted a tweet or video tomorrow about how much they hate gay people, or believe in conservative ideals, or they just said a bunch of slurs or whatever (these are hyperbolic examples obviously) then yeah, fuck them, they should go rot. but like, having some dumb takes, or saying bad things in the past, doesn't = evil terrible person...
idk, i feel like we can critique content creators without getting so insane about it. like, shit, there are things some of my favourites do that i don't like, but theyre not even really worth bringing up tbh. unless its something actually important, i feel like it just creates more drama out of nothing and all these assholes come crawling out of the woodwork to tell everyone how much they hate that creator. or find their content boring anyway so clearly they have no real merit to anyone.
more of an explanation of what i mean in the tags but yeah.
#this is kind of about ppl finding out x is a centrist and... apparently that means telling him 'kys' is ok#i dont even like centrism but like... wasnt he super right wing at one point? is this not at least a mild improvement? he's just some guy#i like his content. dont care enough to get into drama about him being a 'we should all just talk it out!' kinda guy. who give a shit.#this is also kinda about doc's little rant on twt about plestine/isral (spelling to not clog tags) which was basically just -#- 'stop asking me to speak on these things 1. i could get into legal trouble 2. i stopped talking about politics years ago for good reasons#which like. isnt my favourite response to things? but i also Get It yknow?#it wasnt as big of a deal as ppl seemed to think it was#(especially since he very clearly retweeted donation post and said hes against innocent ppl dying. which is pretty clear to me.)#anyway the milder things im talking about here is like. harry potter references or mild orientalism re: 'asian-style' builds#like. i could go mad about that but i really dont give a shit#i dont#and like im a hard leftist. but i just do not care. so long as they arent a massive right winger or a creep im fine#*i say massive right winger but tbh i kind of mean right winger at all. i just dont give a shit about ccs wanting to remain more centrist#especially online.#anyway#hermitblr#hermitcraft#mcyt#discourse#ben chats shit on the internet#to clarify im not tryna say that its cool to play both sides politically but also i dont think bringing up a 4 year old post -#- to stir up drama is very genuine. looking at the notes i just see a lot of 'wow fuck this guy i hate his content anyway' and its like. ok
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Let's see... Using religion as an excuse to hate on others? Check. Bodyshaming through an, ironically, beloved fictional character? Check. And throwing in some casual ableism and a slur too? Check.
What do you know, we have a jackpot on the bigot slot machine!
#tw ableism#tw bodyshaming#fatphobia#miss piggy#thats not even an insult#She’s confident#successful#and doesn’t waste time with petty insults#im not claiming im innocent in this#but wow what a strong reaction if they arent even religious to begin with???#tw religion mention#tw bible mention#the video this was commented on was a proposal video btw#two very happy dudes and some miserable homophobes in the comments#tw slur
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i actually have a hard time understanding childe's character and is mostly because of other people's takes + im like so scared of mischaracterizing him
#like when ppl where saying he doesnt kill and people were calling that mischaracterisation#and then they turned around and called him a sociopath who doesnt care about others (sooo not true its painful)#its not that its a middle ground- both versions are just. not him#i think childe kills not because he's some homicidal maniac but because its his duty to the tsaritsa#and while he does not do it on text from my pov is like heavily implied? yk? her majestys weapon?? feared in battle?#but the word duty is important#i think childe wants to be good- more than anything#he wants to be a good brother and a good son and a good comrade#and being a harbinger is what has allowed him to do so#being her majesty's weapon is both a prision and liberty for him#he can take care of his family. he can find strong opponents. he can gain strength.#he cant make meaningful connections with others. he cant always do the work he wants to do. he cant (always) be the good guy#last part is the most important to me. its clear during liyue he didn't enjoy putting innocents at risk#but he does so anyway- out of duty#and here is My Interpretation: childe knows his position and knows it will force him to hurt others#which he doesnt enjoy#and to cope with that he seems to have convinced himself that if he only hurts those who are bad then it means he himself is not bad#for childe that is enough. except we know it isnt#the fatui is a deeply unethical organization- even if their goals are pure their means arent and we know that#childe thinks that separating himself from his coworkers and just trying to hurt those who he (or the fatui) deems as bad is enough#but it isnt enough ! because he still is contributing to said organization- he is by extenction enabling their unethical actions#he isnt good#and thats what i love about him#him not killing wouldnt make sense because then what is his internal struggle? why is then that the older members of his family hold +#so much contempt for him#if he were just a silly malewife who just likes to battle - why would his father have sent him to the fatui in the first place#along the same vein him enjoying killing and finding no issue with it wouldnt make sense either#because again then where is the conflict- by several voicelines is clear childe doesnt care much about himself / has a low self esteem#childe knows whats right and whats wrong and he knows that what he is and what he does isnt right#yet he still does it. out of naivety or (and i like this answer more) duty
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augh who up feeling like they should be humanely euthanised for liking media the wrong way... sorry for fandomising certain characters but not fandomising others enough in the right way.
#ive noticed the wbg fandom has a very different way of interacting w the source media than like. dndads#both are similar in some of the fandomising of characters#specifically like funny characterisation stuff#but when it comes to more complex stuff like angst it feels like the wbg fandom approaches from a different layer#eg in dndads just a characters death is seen is sad but for wbg a lot of the time theres more to it...#an extra layer. a more complex flavour. the horrors are not just those experienced but the entire surrounding situation.#like edgars death isnt sad#i mean. its not sad in the way that referencing it in art will get any attention#but TJ's death is devastating!#with notable exceptions of course. eg innocent hunter and like everything about him#i find that i tend to approach media more stylistically and appreciating the DRAMA which i can mine for visuals#and then in my art i try to challenge myself to translate those vibes#like picking at a thread that is already present. an angst or dynamic already present and explored briefly#but wbg fandom tends to lean more towards analysis? which makes the way i engage feel a bit surface level#like in wbg fandom i dont think i can do the eqiuvalent of all my angsty glenn close art#also i just noticed. the characters in wbg are really interesting because you THINK they#wouldn't be very fandomised. that theyd be treated within the show as more like characters that exist to push the plot forward#but then certain characters act as very fandomised versions of themselves in canon#and are treated as their one trait in the qnas too!!#its like theyre almost dndads characters in this way. but without even that extra layer#the second heat that even like henry oak has! like henry's a hippie but he's also stinky and cringe and is repressing so much shit#but marissa is just explosions girl#i guess that's maybe cuz many characters in wbg arent main characters but in dndads they all are#BUT EVEN NPC HERMIE. HIS LAYERS.#very interesting
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hey
hey guys we should totally vote kazui innocent guys hey thanks yay
#because even if kotoko gets guilty we arent sure of her strength and she could easily beat the shit oit of everhone#like if we arent careful#and he could also be the person making sure shidou's doinf his work (i think someone mentioned this once but i cant add links to tags so um)#so please vote the man innocent!#if you want#mug talks#milgram#mukuhara kazui#kazui mukuhara
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rambling about fujin and the white snake adeptus
ok so. i was watching videos of previous lantern rite playthroughs on yt (started playing at the end of january 2023 so i couldn't even take part in last year's) and looking back now after the 4.4 livestream, i thought maybe that 2022 mingxiao lantern was a nod to fujin, so i started digging and went down the rabbit hole basically and collected some things i found interesting.
NO LEAKS, everything written about here is mentioned in in-game items or is a part of chinese culture and legends, but some of it might be considered potential spoilers regarding chenyu vale
first, i wanna preface this by saying that i am no expert in chinese culture so please do correct me if i say something incorrect.
during the 2022 lantern rite they didn't mention which fallen liyue hero the lantern was for (or i missed it) but i found a really good post on hoyolab by Flora's cake.EN, talking about chinese customs and the celebration of the lunar new year. they say that the mingxiao lantern was based on the lantern with the fish pattern of the previous year's festival, and they also note that the lantern resembles carp and goldfish, how in chinese culture they symbolize wealth, fortune, and benefits, and express "people's yearning for prosperity, auspiciousness, and good fortune". this symbolism in chinese culture is very clearly transferred to the game too since we know from the stream that there is a well-known legend in chenyu vale about a carp adeptus named fujin and that "in local legends the golden carp is a symbol of good luck". they also talk about jademouth, a famous landmark left behind by an adeptus to protect the people from flooding, and mention the abodes of the white snake and the carp adeptus.
bai suzhen aka the white snake is the central figure of a chinese legend titled "the legend of the white snake". there are several versions and i'll be fully transparent, i haven't read them yet unfortunately. according to this article by Minjie Su, who researches medieval literature (and apparently had the same uni major as me lol) bai suzhen was originally an evil snake spirit, but later the story became a romance between her and a man, Xu Xuan. in one of the later versions, though she is still morally questionable (she "poisons the well to boost her husband’s pharmacy") she is devoted to Xu and sympathetic to humankind. Xu almost dies of shock when he sees her true snake form. (1) however, she "revives him and makes him believe the snake was but an illusion. Enraged, Fahai wages war against Madam White and holds Xu as hostage, Madam White commands water to rise from the lake to drown Fahai’s temple. She would have defeated the monk, if she did not feel sympathy towards the innocent townsfolk involved in her war. In the end, she surrenders to Fahai’s power and becomes imprisoned under the Pagoda, but not before her short reunion with Xu and the birth of their son. (...) she will never bee freed unless the palm tree before the Pagoda blossoms (...)" she is eventually freed by her son, though this action is not intentional, merely a coincidence. (2)
while searching, i also found this post by baoboatree on reddit, who did some huge work and re-translated the descriptions of the echoes of an offering artifact set. three things to note before i continue: 1) this part might contain POSSIBLE SPOILERS regarding the story of the new chenyu vale region, so proceed with caution 2) my chinese is not good enough to be able to compare the translation to the original and verify the information presented here (i am NOT saying it is incorrect and i'm certainly NOT trying to criticize baoboatree, just thought i should mention this) and 3) the post is relatively old, so some information might have been updated/re-written in-game and become outdated here. for these reasons, it's best to take it all with a grain of salt.
according to baoboatree's interpretation, the story "involves two adeptus - a "medicine adeptus" and a "carp adeptus". The two are bickering lovers/friends and lived near Chenyu valley. Until one day, the carp adeptus was sacrificed in an ancient ritual and loses her human form. She can no longer walk on land, but longed to see Liyue harbor. The medicine adeptus took her on a trip to Liyue harbor by taking her along in a Serenitea pot . (...) The fish adeptus is implied in at least four of the five pieces to have sacrificed herself again, becoming the sunken jade of Chenyu Vale. In at least one but maybe two legends, the medicine adeptus is implied to have become a tea tree that only grows in Chenyu Vale." they say the medicine adeptus may or may not be madame ping, which personally, i believe it's more likely they have something to do with the white snake adeptus (or is even the white snake adeptus themselves), whose husband was a pharmacist in the legend, and who stole medicine for him in another version of that legend.
i encourage everyone to read the whole reddit post, i found it fascinating and baoboatree really worked hard on it. i don't want to go into too much detail here bc this post is already way too long. when the medicine adeptus brings the carp adeptus to liyue harbor in the teapot, baoboatree also states that, in contrast to the official english translation, the teapot was not a gift from "a friend" but "friends", plural. now, this was actually something i could check, and it is absolutely correct. they theoretize that these friends might include madame ping, the role of the medicine adeptus and carp adeptus being clear. they also note in a comment that the fish lantern during lantern rite might have been representing the fish adeptus. looking back now, i would be surprised if it wasn't. hoyo has shown to pay attention to things like this.
as for why it were two fish, one might have been referencing this medicine adeptus, or one could have simply been put there to make it look more balanced, or to emphasize the wish for good fortune, or maybe there will be more to this that we'll uncover. either way, i'm interested in seeing how the story about this carp adeptus will unfold. if they try to stay close to the legend, it might have been the white snake adeptus that caused the flood which made the carp adeptus sacrifice herself. as for whether this white snake adeptus is the same as the medicine adeptus, honestly i think it could go either way. i could argue both for them being the same character and them not being the same. as of right now, i'm more inclined to think that they are different beings. (edit bc 1) i deleted my reasoning bc looking back it was just ehh and 2) bc i realized that i forgot to add this originally: obviously all of this is just wild speculation, and it could very well be that the story that we get, assuming we learn of these events, will be entirely different. the whole turning into a tree legend from the artifact set could also really just be an in-game myth, though i don't think that very likely, but who knows. either way, nothing even remotely certain can be concluded from the information i presently have.) of course i could very well be wrong, and hoyo will probably do their own take on this legend. after all, they have taken a looot of inspiration from nordic mythology as well (i might do some posts about that too, i was a scandinavian studies major so it's always interesting for me to see how nordic mythology is implemented in games/films etc).
anyway, if anyone read this whole thing, i hope you found it interesting. sorry that it was not very concise, i haven't slept in weeks so my brain is barely working lol. i'm really excited for chenyu vale and lantern rite and can't wait to see what this update brings!
(1) the author points out the storyline also has similarities to that of the french legend of mélusine but i don't have enough brain capacity to go into this as well.
(2) the wikipedia page states that Xu actually dies, and "Bai Suzhen went to Heaven to steal the immortal herb Lingzhi. She succeeded in her mission and used the herb to revive Xu Xian. (...) Bai Suzhen and Xiaoqing fought against Fahai and flooded the temple with water, hurting other living creatures.", however, i can't find this information in the relevant source.
Sources
Genshin Impact Version 4.4. Special Program https://youtu.be/abZdO3rWoVc?si=wA1QDAYqeCqh3yUA
Flora's cake.EN on Hoyolab
https://www.hoyolab.com/article/14973902 (accessed 20/01/24)
Minjie Su: The Legend of the White Snake: A Chinese Mélusine Story
https://www.medievalists.net/2017/11/legend-white-snake-chinese-melusine-story/ (accessed 20/01/24)
Bai Suzhen on Wikipedia
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bai_Suzhen (accessed 20/01/24)
baoboatree: Echoes of an Offering artifact lore re-translation and interpretation
https://www.reddit.com/r/Genshin_Lore/comments/tta8wo/echoes_of_an_offering_artifact_lore_retranslation/ (accessed 20/21/24)
#genshin impact#my post#chenyu vale#im also curious to see if any of the voicelines from the 4.4 trailer is referencing this story#mainly thinking of “you chose a path without a future” and “spare my innocent child i alone am the source of this sin”#they definitely wont be in the world quests bc those arent voiced but they still might be connected#although even i feel like this is too much of a stretch probably
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if kab wanted a clown replacement hannah is perfectly capable of (and would possibly be even happy with) fulfilling that role idk why she seems to be going after zam who she didnt even have positive rapport with before the yap yesterday
#mine.txt#kab#and pedestaling him is crazy#hes always been open about the fact that his oath is based on his own principles and that hes fine with ppl fighting each other#even the ones who fight for no reason as long as it isnt at spawn#like theres a reason he didnt give a shit about the blindfold alliance's crimes and even allied with them#before they turned into griefers#and why he was a non-interfering party in both revenge killings and out of spawn killings#even when he clarified his reasons to kab he specified that hed defend innocent players who were killed for no reason#kab is neither an innocent player nor was she killed for no reason#like bruh she killed derap right after; zams not gonna enact revenge for her cause shes clearly capable of doing so#like shes not helpless and deraps not like mane in the slightest; kab is Not helpless in this situation#like girl his priorities have always been different from the rest of the server#thats not about to change just cause you think it should#idk if this is a new member vs old member belief clash or what#cause like i feel like its obvious zam wouldnt interfere with a kind of spat thats perfectly normal on the server#esp since it didnt happen in spawn#like if they were teammates sure but they arent teammates#idk why she thought they were teammates before but regardless zam cleared up the fact that they werent teammates#cause like maybe shes like pbaj last season where she just hasnt internalized the fact that for lifesteal to be functional#there has to be conflict and killings and that sometimes that conflict comes from long standing grudges#like i hate to say it but if youre teamed with someone at the time of the grudge happening youre gonna be lumped in with that grudge#also by her own logic isnt hannah killing derap unfair too since he was an indirect reason why their team was killed#and that hannah shouldve gone after mane instead?#(who has been tormenting not just her but the whole mice team for a certain span of time before the others went inactive btw)#maybe zam should say that by innocent players he means helpless ones maybe thatll get her off his back
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every time i ponder the meliwes orb i get a little emo out of guilt. i am so sorry white boy wes n i say this as melina’s #1 defender she did NOT deserve that boy 😭
#what if YOU 🫵 befriended ur frenemy’s (n thats a kind way to put it) ex gf post breakup#bc she hit ur dms on some ‘im going thru it and ur the only 1 ik who wouldnt be biased against me bc u n amber arent close’#knowing you would feel bad for her#n then she female manipulated u into developing a crush on her and shooting ur shot and believing that was YOUR idea#n u were w this girl for 3 months. first ever girlfriend mind u#shes super sweet super affectionate gets on well w ur mom top tier absolute sweetheart#for the first time in all ur 17 yrs u even get to feel a tidd-*i am SHOT*#then ghostface rolls back up and ur girl gets stabbed thru the shoulder literally on day 1 after the massacre starts#ur already paranoid and now ur FR SCARED bc ghostface almost got ur bitch!#and then ghostface gets YOU (and unbeknownst to u ur momma)#n even when ur abt to die ur still scared for ur girl…#and turns out the same girl WAS the ghostface who put a knife thru ur neck and she aint even love u#and just used u to get back into the group to be around her ex again and then killed u at her command the min she offered to get back w her#imagine that. well wes hicks does NOT have to imagine bc thats wtf HAPPENED to him!#tbf melina feels incredibly guilty for it n his death haunts her like. BAD. but girl…yk he aint do shit to u 😭#like she was a lesbian the whole time but considered him a genuinely good pal 😭#yk that boy innocent n aint deserve allat but amber satan freeman says stab him n melina says yes my queen i live 2 serve u what can i do-#like i love melina w all my heart n i will defend her always but i cant get behind this. she was foul for that 😭#what toxic yuri does to a mf#— ♡ 𝘤𝘶𝘱𝘪𝘥'𝘴 𝘤𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘢 𝘩𝘰𝘮𝘪𝘤𝘪𝘥𝘦! // melina bates.#— ship: meliwes.#— slasherverse posting.#— ➴ 𝘢 𝘴𝘸𝘦𝘦𝘵 𝘭𝘪𝘵𝘵𝘭𝘦 𝘭𝘪𝘦 (𝘤𝘳𝘺 𝘸𝘰𝘭𝘧 𝘤𝘳𝘺.) // meliwes.
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I JUST FUCKING INJESTED DRUGS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!IUWDHSOUWHDUDHAHW WDDAIZ
THE REASON WHY THEYRE ALL STUCK THERE IS NOT BECAUSE ITS PROGRAMMED TO BE THAT WAY ITS JUST A CODING FAILURE/PROBLEM OR A MISSING CODE!!!!!!!!! THEY CANT FEEL THEIR HEADSETS, AND IF YOU CANT FEEL SOMETHING THEN YOU CANT TOUCH IT!!! THIS IS BECAUSE ITS PROGRAMMED TO BE THAT YOU CAN TOUCH EVERYTHING IN THE CIRCUS, INCLUDING YOUR HEAD!!!! AND THEIR HEAD IS BASICALLY THE BARRIER THATS STOPPING THEM FROM TOUCHING THEIR HEADSET!!!!!!! ITS JUST A PROGRAMMING PROBLEM!!!!!!!!!!!!! THE CREATOR DIDNT THINK IT THROUGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THINK ABOUT IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAABGIUWADBUIHDUWHAUDIGBAWFRTDTZFDSZU
#im talking about tadc here#no i did not actually injest any kind of drug#i am to innocent to do that#tadc#theories!!!!#uh#yeah#thats it#the amazing digital circus#i guess!!!#im adding way to many tags and most of them arent even popular#i have theories#pls hear me out#these are way to many tags#yippie
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The vibe really deteriorated as the day went on, and now I'm sitting in bed, awake, feeling like garbage
#it was an okay weekend but i was jittery and numb for most of it#tried to write christmas cards for the first time in 2 years. cried while doing so and then had to lie down after i did 5#i got frustrated with the story i'm writing and considered dropping it or deleting the whole thing#spent friday alone pretty much all day which normally i'm fine with but for whatever reason made the loneliness really hit hard this time#spent all thanksgiving day waiting for a familial confrontation#got asked by my 6 year old nephew how old i was and then he followed up with 'well why arent you married what are you doing'#which i'm pretty sure is something he heard in a conversation someone else was having and he repeated it bc he's 6 fucking years old#which btw i don't hold against him or am mad at him about bc he's an innocent kid#but that made me feel really shitty#spent an hour today panicking about this dog virus#and in between all of that i was self diagnosing myself with mental illnesses#which made me feel awful bc it made gaslight myself in thinking maybe i wanted one?#which is so fucked up to the max and i'm so sorry for even putting that here#but i put this all here bc i could never have this conversation with people irl#they'd get too worried or they'd think i'm overreacting or i need to date or need to do something with myself besides read#i'm so sorry everyone#i'll try to be better#i just had to put this out somewhere#and i didn't put this in a journal bc my last entry sounds so teenagerish out of context i don't even want to look at it#anyway i have to try to sleep i have to go into the office early tomorrow#i'm sorry guys#i really am😔
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I love bungou stray dogs fandom
"Oh [this character] is just itty bitty baby 🥺. little guy 🫣🥹. put in pocket and protect💖😢"
friend, that is a criminal. that is a super terrorist. they would kill you.
#to quote danny motta ��hey arent you that super terrorist edgar allen poe”#'i just want to protecc chuuya what a little guy' that little guy has committed so many charges of murder the court system is broken#'dazai is wittle baby' dazai is canonically committing tax fraud. and murder.#i am guilty of it too. 'awww Akutagawa what a cute little guy“ my dude he would snap my neck for looking at him wrong#even kenji aint innocent#bet he steals pies from windowsills all the time#no one says anything bc of his brute strength#HE PROBABLY THINKS THEYRE FREE#bungou stray dogs
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𖦹 ׂ 𓈒 🐇 / ⋆ ۪
#i dont know there's just... smth within me that craves it. in a profound wat#way** -_-#like... i am just someone who is made to love and be loved. that is what i want in this world in this life#i dont have any dreams or aspirations. all i need and want is to love#and since i dont have that in my life i am so deeply unhappy#and like i dont give a fuck about the 'love yourself#be whole by yourself. live a full life on your own#dont be happy bc of other ppl' blah blah blah#i dont care. my world view is that we are all different. we are all made of various stuff and we all need different things#(in my opinion; as long as u dont hurt anyone.... depending on intent... like depending on who u hurt and why.. as long as u dont harm#random innocent ppl for no fkn reasonand without consent. it is all fine)#the truth about the world is that none of us got all the fkn answers and we have no fkn right to demand that everybody lives according to a#made up book of rules. that's like actual insanity to me.#maybe someone else's way of living is crazy TO YOU. but theyre doing what they can to get by and thats none of your business#maybe u dont get it. maybe u dont understand. but someone else's life isnt for u to understand. only to look away and move on#if u arent compatible. needing to beat everyone down into the little box u have created is like... unrealistic and unsustainable lol#and i think that what i need as a person is nothing but love. deep profound love. which is sad bc that isnt really...#easy having my personality disorder :// plus that is smth very very rare and only a lucky few can experience that#i think i could still be happy in a healthy relationship where mutual like exists. even if... i know now that feeling that love is possible#idc if someone else is like omg thats so unhealthy gurlll love ya self gurlll. thats not what i need#everyone lives differently and yeah for some ppl it is much much harder#to get by bc we arent 'normal' or 'sane' or whatever. but it isnt wrong or incorrect#i just think im so so unhappy bc this is the one thing i need#and now me and my heart are like a withering flower#all i can hope... is that one day it will bloom. maybe one day.#but yeah no matter the amounts of work i do on myself (which i am trying to do lmfao stfu) or therapy#as long as i lack the one thing my soul craves iwill be dim and dull and feel numb
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Fake manhater moment but if it wasn't for bf idk if I'd have made it this far 👍 anyway its 3.30 am yknow. And I don't wanna sleep to be honest. But I will take a quick nap soon
#like tbh it helps that hes so innocent. i already scare him sometimes. i cant give in and start doing drugs again#or abusing meds. hell just be scared and sad id never do that. i remember how i felt abt junkies when i was very young#id never want him to see me like this. and even worse i wouldnt wanna be the person who makes him realize junkies arent like. aliens.#yk what i mean?#anyway gonna smoke maybe and drink some tea and do some sewing nd then sleep#wait ill continue i wouldnt want him to see me and realize 'oh this could happen to anyone it doesnt happen to bad people only#that sorta thing#im tired... nearly 4 am after all. ughg
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The regressor urge to go to Buy Buy Baby and just go ham
#listen i don't even need to but anything#i just wanna like. see it all#WAAGH. wagh#i kinda wanna irl cg to do stuff with#i have no doubt my best friends or even my family would be supportive but like#i already have issues pertaining to people not taking me seriously and seeing my as 'innocent' and childish#and like. i don't want this to color their judgement of me#idk abt anyone else but i haaaate it when people point out like 'oooh you like/did that cuz youre agere arent u'#i just find that like. invasive. if i want you to know abt my headspace at a given time i will tell u u don't get to assign that#woof that one makes me mad#anyway sorry that turned venty#negative
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