#and here is My Interpretation: childe knows his position and knows it will force him to hurt others

[starscr0ss]

i actually have a hard time understanding childe's character and is mostly because of other people's takes + im like so scared of mischaracterizing him

[tricoloreddango]

☆All’s fair in love and war☆

Yandere Mydei x reader.

You end up pregnant with your enemy’s child. Mydei takes advantage of your misfortune.

Cw: pregnant reader, coerced arranged marriage, mentions of abortion; written before 3.0 version, babytrapping depending on interpretation. Word count: around 1,1k. [BACK TO M.LIST] [BOT I MADE BASED ON THE STORY]

You and Mydei were coming from opposite military factions, both of them being at war, for what was deemed as way too long. Despite the fact it made you both naturally enemies, it didn’t stop you nor Mydei from having a heated, naughty affair behind everyone’s back. Whatever night you could slip away from your group’s tents, you took your chance to come and see him, letting him soak you in pleasure and empty promises. You, dragged around, were rather exhausted of the constant war, but it never stopped you from crossing such line and sharing your body with enemy. It was your need for normalcy especially.

It didn’t mean you weren’t well aware what possible consequences of this affair could bring on you, a daughter of commander, by extension said commander with his soldiers. Disobeying your father came easily when it came to Mydei—he was like a forbidden fruit, who made sure to shower you with attention and make you feel as if you were walking into a lion’s den simultaneously.

To your dreadful realization in just months after your secret meetings started, you ended up swollen with his child, despite trying everything in your power to avoid such plotwist—you were taking only the best of herbs Mydei’s medics provided you with regularly. It seemed your herbs weren’t strong enough, or perhaps it was Mydei’s seed that was too strong, a feat you somehow felt as if was possible with Mydei.

You were scared a ton to announce it to your family, let alone your lover. Coming to conclusion you ought to tell him, your confidant first, you’ve made sure to monopolize his time today; even if having to beg one of his soldiers that knew secret of you both, to let you inside Mydei’s tent.

When he saw you, quickly judging your uncomfortable expression, he was quick to ask. “What are you doing here? It better be an emergency,” he said gruffly.

You wondered how should you tell something so awful and unexpected, meant to cause chaos, something you haven’t even accepted and fully understood yourself yet. So you decided to blurt it out before you could stop yourself from saying it completely. „I’m pregnant.”

The utter shock on his face was the most expressive you had ever seen on him. He stared at you for a few, long seconds, making your paranoid thoughts reach their zenith-oh god, he was going to force you to remove this pregnancy, or he was going to kill you—

“How long did you know for?” was what he finally said, but his tone threw you off a lot. You expected some anger, you expected disappointment, disapproval-but no-Mydei, he sounded almost happy. In fact, he smiled a little as if feeling relief he simply tried to hide.

“I-I just found out today…I’m here to tell you as soon as I could have,” you said shaken up. “I’m really sorry, this wasn’t meant to happen-”

“Don’t be,” he said, making your heart drum like thunder. You were starting to feel really out of place with his unusually positive and calm reaction. Was he not worried what it meant for you both? “It’s my child, isn’t it?” As you nodded, he continued, “That’s why it’s all alright.”

Alright? You were scared to the bone marrow, and he was telling you being pregnant with your enemy, your father’s biggest enemy, your people’s enemy, that it’s okay.

“Mydei, how can you even say that? I just made this war ten times worse!” you yelled, not disrupting his calmness, and he approached you, freezing you in your spot. He looked at you so intensely, you for a moment believed he mistook you for one of the monsters he’d slain. But Mydei stroked your cheek instead, which didn’t feel much better. “No, you don’t see this situation for what it is, my lovely. If you and I were to get married, we can finally set a peace between our people,” he said awfully content, not at the idea of ending the war.

Your eyes gulped at his words. Marry Mydei, marry your enemy, betray your people like that. It could bring peace, but you could only imagine what everyone would think of you. They would chase you away from them, leaving you and your child in Mydei’s hands, all on your own. But the knowledge of doing this to them would haunt you the most. “Marriage? Mydei, we can’t just get married-”

„Why not?” Your mouth hung open at his blunt question. As much as you didn’t want to marry him, you had no good argument, besides your personal feelings about why this marriage shouldn’t happen. You were a perfect bargaining chip to end this conflict, with a classic political marriage.

But even with that, you felt a sense of unsettlement coming from something else. Was Mydei to like you that much, his reaction to you being pregnant should still not be so casual and happy-like. He was looking at you with a sense of triumph, as if he finally caught you in a trap you were so long running away from. Or rather, one you were stuck in, but fought so stubbornly to not be dragged away from to his place.

Mydei, seeing your lack of response, continued his unnerved speech and brought you into his arms. “You don’t need to worry as much as you believe you need to. I’ll take a good care of you and our child. You’ll be a good mother, and this child is a blessing.” His words would be meant to be soothing and affectionate coming from any other man’s mouth, but you found them to sound a whole lot more passionate. You truly had no idea how long he’s been waiting for a moment to have you fully next to him, how far his obsession went. It was just this testimony you gave him, his reaction to the news, when you were finally catching up with reality. Your affair wasn’t even that long, but it gave him enough time to start wanting you on a level above simply physical and romantic. Mydei was willing to make you his, and a child was just a mean.

“Blessing?” you asked with disbelief. “We don’t know each other for more than few months! All we did was sleep with each other!”

“Have I not proven my feelings for you enough? This child will be our blessing, even if takes you time to realize this truth. A child out of wedlock is not an option either,” he said seriously, not leaving you any place to argue, before grabbing your chin and kissing you as if he needed to release something he built up during your time together. Withdrawing, he smiled at you warmly, with this emotion not reaching his eyes, and placed his hand on your belly.

“Thank you for this gift, my love.”

You became the martyr of this war.

[badgalsasuke]

Continuing the re-read of Naruto Gaiden.

While at first he looks shocked to see Sarada for the first time ever

The rest of the manga he's simply not happy to see her

Like, not in the slightest. You'd think if she was the child Sasuke had with someone he loved and wasn't able to see her due to a very dangerous important mission like SS shippers claim, he'd be happy to see her, a little smile here and there at least.

He's so uncomfortable by his daughter's presence

YIKES

I find very interesting what Kishimoto did here: 1. He had to place Sarada next to Naruto and 2. he had to make sure Naruto was injured and couldn't defend himself to get Sasuke to move and become a shield for them, basically bring back the whole "my body moved on its own" instinct Sasuke has to protect Naruto to then be able to create some sort of father-daughter moment so Sasuke wouldn't look absolutely terrible as a father.

It reminds me a lot of the interview Kishimoto gave years ago about forcing Sasuke to drink the juice he doesn't like, which is basically creating scenarios where Sasuke is forced to interact with certain characters in some way. You can read more about it here

he hates Sakura's guts so bad, like damn not even containing himself for the sake of Sarada.

The difference in Sasuke's reaction when Naruto is stabbed vs when Sakura is sent to a difference dimension.

They really don't give a fuck about Sakura at all, this is so sad.

Mmmmm the hesitation. When Naruto got stabbed and said *four* times it was no big deal Sasuke was still scared shitless for him but when Sakura is kidnapped, he isn't worried (or dgaf) and struggles to talk confidently about her strength as kunoichi. If he was smirking or something it wouldn't feel like he's forcing himself to talk that way, but he still has that uncomfy face he makes whenever Sarada and Sakura are concerned.

Kishimoto really refuses to write an interaction between Sasuke and Sakura where Sasuke shows genuine care for her. Sakura also looks kind of resignated to Sasuke's treatment here.

And this is Sarada's reaction and I cannot really decipher what Kishimoto is going trying to communicate here. It's not really a smile but she's not totally sad either. She looks baffled? Is she, just like the readers, trying to make up where Sasuke and Sakura really stand as a couple? It seems like so to me.

Okay, finally for once he shows some positive emotion towards Sarada and is proud of her strength.

Oh brother, he truly does not give a fuck about Sakura. I also find it an interesting choice that we don't see Sasuke's face when he's talking about his feelings for Sakura.

Don't worry Sarada you're not the first child to come from a loveless marriage, multiple children across the world see themselves in you!

Right here I almost felt like despite not loving Sakura, Sasuke doesn't find it necessary for Sarada to pay for that and that his uncomfortable face has more to do with not knowing his child and not knowing how to act around her rather than some actual misplaced anger against her.

But then Sasuke did this, meaning he has no issues to make false promises to Sarada just like he did to Sakura and just like Itachi did to him. He doesn't feel close to her nor is he interested in strengthening their bond.

Sakura is so pathetic like you cannot even feel bad for her because she herself refuses to stand up.

Some SS shippers interpret Sasuke smirk as him liking to tease Sakura. Now, Sasuke's VA had apparently stated that Sasuke does like to deny Sakura affection as you can see here.

So if that's the case then Sasuke is not denying Sakura a kiss in a playful way as SS imagine (they like to say he doesn't like kissing her in public when Sakura had already implied they've NEVER kissed), but he's rather smirking because he's happy he's on his own again, like he rejected Sakura again plus used the forehead poke on Sarada that symbolizes distancing and false promises, it's a sensical conclusion to me.

And ofc we could not not talk about Studio Pierrot doing damage control of Kishimoto's work. In the family portrait made by Kishimoto Sasuke is the only one that isn't smiling and instead has a hard look on his face which fits his attitude and demeanor during all of Naruto Gaiden, but in the anime they have him smiling and gave him a softer look... Mmmmmmm...

[pareidolla]

hello.

can you tell me what your biggest gripes normally are when people write broken?

like, I get the feeling that there's a fine line between "adorable pathetic sopping wet cat" and "annoying pathetic sopping wet cat" and I personally find Broken in the former. but I cannot really tell what the line is.

I have written Broken before and not to self promo but here is the link in case anyone is curious; like it got positive reviews for the most part. Still, would be nice to know.

hello dearie!! i'm so flattered you asked ♡

i did write this little post about broken a few months ago, and i'd like to first reiterate that i don't want to be labeled an arbiter of broken characterization or anything similar. one thing i admire about the stp fandom is how we all contribute our own distinct flavor to the characters, and i don't want anyone to feel like they're writing broken incorrectly simply because it differs from my interpretation. if i ever were to write a broken fanfic then his voice would be completely off (i just can't help but make him act cute!! he's just an anime girl to me!!!!) so honestly don't place too much stock in my opinions.

with that being said — i'd say my biggest gripe when it comes to depicting broken is when he's pathetic, flat-out, without any rhyme or reason to his actions. he can't perform basic actions, he cowers away regardless of who he's interacting with, and yammers away about giving up just because.

for anyone struggling with writing broken, i think you should first and foremost understand his motivations. ironically, tower is a great place to start here!

one could argue smitten and broken could have switched princesses, with smitten accepting the princess's nature as a world-ending divinity and broken's mirror image being someone equally hollow. except, that's not what either of them desires. smitten wants be the perfect knight in shining armor who whisks away the princess on horseback, and broken?

its easy: once you let her in, you'll be safe forever.

she doesn't want to hurt us. she's just doing what she has to.

what's the point of fighting if she's just going to win everytime? it hurts being sliced to pieces.

broken's main desire is to be safe. you ultimately gain him by failing to be a hero: giving up, expressing hesitance in a key moment, or fruitlessly struggling against a power so much greater than you. as a result, his princess, his love, appears not as a horrific creature, feral beast, or vicious demon, but as a a goddess, someone capable of protecting him.

think of tower less as the dommy-mommy broken was so incredibly horny for he cut his own throat just to kiss her feet, and more as a hurricane. a force of nature which tore apart his home, showed him the frailty and meaninglessness of his life, then offered him both meaning and shelter within her eye of storm—as long as he gives his body to her. which is ideal for broken because it restores the control he's lost by, ironically, offering it to someone else. if he is obedient and lovely and grovel then his savior will take pity on him and he will never suffer again.

to return to my main gripe, if we understand broken desires safety and fawning is his trauma response, then we should know it obviously wouldn't be triggered by every little thing, especially in a controlled environment.

for instance, if broken was invited to a game night with the boys then he's not going to be sobbing pathetically in the corner like a child. he is, and i cannot express this enough, a grown adult man. there are several approaches to writing this—personally, i'd have him decline the invitation outright, muttering excuses about being too busy and he'd sour the mood anyway. if wrestled into it then he'd sit quietly, trying not to take up too much space or attract attention, and then fudge a game once or twice to keep the others happy. ultimately, he doesn't care about winning, and just wants to avoid any fights.

having said that, being conflict-averse does not imply cowardice. broken is a hater, and i love that about him. he's very empathetic and gentle and sweet and the perfect boyfriend, yes, but he's so fucking sassy it's amazing. broken may shy away from conflict but there are several scenes where he expresses his disbelief over how unusual the other voices all are, bickers with them, or straight-up insults them in their face.

like, i'm chill with interpretations where broken secretly admires the voices and aspires to do better, especially post-para apotheosis, but most of the time he hates their fucking asses. he wholeheartedly believes he is the only normal person in a sea of freaks. a caged bird watching as the other birds fling themselves against a glass window. yes, he is a pitiful little sheltered pet who let's out a sad whine every few minutes but please he still has his teeth!!

phew. okay this got too long. uhm! i don't really know how to end this ♡♡♡ i will say i did like your fic! i've been starved for non-wholesome smitbroken look at those boys enabling eachother. if anyone else is reading this, please go forth and create your own broken fic; i will read and i will enjoy it. this is a threat.

[mandalhoerian]

Gosh I wish you made such big analize about Xavier and Sylus, sometimes I feel so dumb that I can't read so good behind the lines. 😭😭😭

HEY NO CMON NOW NO NEED TO DISCREDIT YOURSELF LIKE THAT!!!! First of all, this is an ongoing game and story, think of it like an incomplete ao3 fic you have theories for. There are HUUGE gaps in there that will be filled later and until then, they are left to the interpretation of the player. It's only natural, there's SO MUCH stuff and lore out there to be consumed, which are often non-linear that it makes things confusing on purpose. It's all about feeding us crumbs about what's coming, of course we get lost!!

Secondly, I made the rafayel analysis because it confused the lights out of me with the constant nagging feeling that I was missing something and that's why I didn't understand most things and wanted to get my thoughts straight. Like the ebb day theories floating out there as to why he was Like That, why he said the things he did out of nowhere and randomly like "what if i take from you will you leave me?" after the topic was JUST about sceneries and the love and art burns me talk after YET AGAIN another art talk about inspiration in pain. I had whiplash over whiplash and felt the need to dive deep into intertidal zone.

It's not like that with Sylus and Xavier (and Zayne's) cards. At least for me. All of them are fairly self-contained compared to his, I feel like. And I'm sure other people have discussed this already, much better than I can as well -- especially Sylus, but I'll put my two cents in for a general review of both their memorias!

Xavier is experiencing negative emotions such as jealousy FOR THE FIRST TIME with MC. He doesn't know how to process these feelings which are allowed to be nurtured in a safe environment when that wasn't the case before in his life. They manifest in temper bursts that stem from a life of being forced to be emotionally blank. He wasn't allowed to be a child or freedom for himself and his thoughts and feelings and wants, so he starts behaving in a childish way -- it's something he's surprised about as well. This happens when you feel safe with a person that those repressed parts begin to open up and you start being yourself more with them. It's sad when you think about it, as cute as it is coming from Xavier. MC is so understanding of him and finding him being "expressive" more as a really positive thing. She's an amazing partner -- because let's face it, if this behavior came from a man in real life, it would be so annoying. Xavier isn't like those other men though, his jealousy doesn't come from a need to control or possess, a place of distrust, projection or disregard of personal boundaries. It's cute because it's followed by healthy communication to allow Xavier to process and grow and open up more, it doesn't threaten the relationship. This is just my interpretation, aside from the context of their previous lives together (the desire to monopolize now that he finally is with her) and this being Xavier's possibly last year on earth that gives a "i've got so little time left and i don't want to waste it" stuff.

And Sylus is. Well. There's a lot in there. The theme here is "their first time", and it's not limited to sleeping together, in my opinon. Theirs is a burgeoning relationship compared to the other "established" relationships. They're new to each other. We even see domesticity from them in MC's house for the first time, though it is a result of Sylus's Onychinus life making an introduction in their relationship as something that has to be legitimately talked about eventually. MC wants to come along with him and know more but Sylus hides a lot from her to keep her safe and separate from him, and yes it's his business and MC doesn't push (the mutual respect is insane here), but it's affecting their time together. Not that MC sees this as a problem because she's always ready to throw down (AND does lock in and gets one step ahead of him).

I read this as MC's first time finally letting him in and her desires/feelings for him that she asked him to stay and kept making the moves when it had all been him before. Her feelings are growing. And you can see how much it pleases him and makes him happy, he was waiting for this -- for MC to voluntarily want him and be honest with him. That's all Sylus wants. He can see into what she wants, and sure yeah he knows, but her outwardly voicing them to him is a different story altogether. It shows she trusts him, and that's important to Sylus.

She was mostly closed off and withdrawn from him emotionally because they have this dynamic that started off hostile that turned into teasing and provoking where she sees being vulnerable with him as a weakness that would be embarrassing. It's a budding relationship, remember? No couple is all in & open with each other right from the beginning, it comes later. And Sylus is a dominant man (not domineering, that's a different word) and I think MC doesn't like being weak next to someone like him, and she perceives a power imbalance there unconsciously even though Sylus wants her to be open so bad and rely on him more and give her everything she wants and needs.

So it's HUUUUUGE that they showed Sylus intertwine their hands together when he had to FORCE IT before. MC is finally receiving him with open arms and you can see he's delighted. It's so romantic first of all, but mans is hungry, BUT HE'S ALSO SO TENDER AND LOVING !!! GOOD FOR YOU SYLUS GET IT. I love this for him and that he felt safe enough to sleep even though he's nocturnal. Or she sucked the soul right out of his dick and knocked him out cold 😭 the sex was so astronomically soul ascending i guess LMFAO

Again, I'm sorry if I got anything wrong. These are just my thoughts, and they are surface level!

[bababerries]

Jack is a lot of things but tbh I don’t really get why people call him a stalker and I do take issue with insinuating he was abusive to Lacie in their relationship (when she was alive that is. His behavior towards her daughters, her best friend/doll and all the things she loved post her demise was extremely awful)

Jack’s behaviour towards Lacie is never normal or healthy and is definitely creepy. But I don’t see how he’s abusive or a stalker. If anything id say one of the issues in their relationship was Jack was too much of a pushover who had such little respect for himself that he never had the will to truly fight for a bond that they both cherished because he just couldn’t see anything beyond. I can’t help but feel like labeling him as abusive in this stage of their relationship a bit cruel towards him and unsympathetic. And I love Lacie to the moon and back but I’ll be honest I do think she was abusive to Jack in this relationship. (I am in no way trying to demonize her for this that’s my babygirl and she’s been through a lot. But I think Jack’s feelings also matter here)

I don't think we talk a lot about how Lacie sexually assaulted Jack (COCSA) in their first interaction with one another. And then later goes onto encourage him to do sex work. And Jack listens.She purposely choose to talk to him as he was someone in a vulnerable position. (Homeless and abused) so that she could play with him. She gives him her earing and tells him to come and find her Do I think Lacie was serious when she was saying this? No. I don't think Lacie genuinely made plans to see Jack again. She was just simply fouling around. This encounter meant very different things for both of them. And for Jack it flipped his whole world on his head. He was shown love for the first time in his life and was encouraged to chase after it by that person so he did. While the efforts he goes to get her is concerning I feel like calling this stalker behavior gives a much different impression and also feels a bit unempathetic to me? And is also just incorrect. Jack spends 7 years trying to find Lacie under the impression that she to wanted this shown physically with the earring. Not 7 years watching her from afar. I think it's also worth noting Jack processed Lacie's love as maternal to an extent. She did things for him a mother should do for a child (give him food, cut his hair, give him life advice and orders, protect him from bad guys, hugs) I don't wanna go super in depth bc i'd love to make a whole analysis on Jack's feelings for Lacie but Lacie even makes this comparison herself

(And once again I wanna preface with I don't think Lacie owes Jack motherhood. In fact i'm very uncomfortable with viewing motherhood in a positive lens in regards to Lacie's arc as it felt like it was always something forced upon her to further abuse and mystify her. )

And the second time. Lacie once again is the one to ask Jack to see her again. (This time however out of genuine desire.) She makes the first move and suggest this of him

I think it's fair to say Jack would probably want to try to see her again after this as an alternative response to "What are you going to do now Jack?" But I feel like it's a bit up in the air/up to interpretation. Of course I 100% think he wants to see Lacie. But he to is scared of overstepping boundaries to an extent that damages their relationship. He doesn't answer his question to her saying "I want to see you again" "I'm going to see you again" "Can I see you again" It's "I don't know." Which I think you can also take as now that Jack has completed the only life goal he's made for himself he doesn't know what to do with himself. He could be hiding his want and desires to surprise her and see her but he has no reason to do that here. Levi also giving him the paper in this scene suggests Jack lacks the knowledge to come back on his own. Point is Lacie made the first move here and asked him to come back once again she's the one pushing things.

Lacie has power over Jack. She's the on with power over him because he was vulnerable towards her. I don't mean to demonize Lacie with this post and perhaps I focused too much of her flaws in the relationship but the main point I wanna make is I do feel like people are too hard on Jack in regards to how he acted in their relationship when she was alive. Unfairly antagonizing him when he's the bigger victim in this relationship.

[1010ninetynine]

a masterpost of what i consider gay subtext in Uramichi Onii San - the Manga

not the Anime quite yet. no offense Touko Machida but I simply do not want to deal with two interpretations of the work at this point in time.

Generally Kinda Romantic Subtext Between Certain Characters that I Think Can Be Interpreted Either Way

Uramichi and Usahara I cite this for the near telepathic communication. Say what you will - married couples are known for this shit - and while it's definitely not anywhere close to confirmed that these two characters have strong feelings for each other, imo this was pretty gay of them. But to put it one way - are you really friends if people don't mistake you for a gay couple at times? imo not really.

additionally, while it might be just beginning chapter art...tell me where our favorite bunny is looking? Is he being respectful?

(honestly i do think usahara is straight but yk...this mangaka likes his gay men pathetic methinks so there is a chance!)

2. Uramichi and Iketeru

back when iketeru was in hs and uramichi's age isn't given - but i think they're the same age? anyway the lyrics over this scene are just...gay as hell. And they're helping a child find their mom. That is married couple behavior.

(obviously could just be a joke/not intended. their relationship is literally a gag on not understanding each other because iketeru is too happy for uramichi)

3. Kumatani and Iketeru

there's also some somewhat strong subtext between kumatani and iketeru. Like first, kumatani was the first guy who got the weird shirt iketeru found.

and next, the constant protection of iketeru from alcohol is courtesy of kumatani our mvp

he even protects him from our favorite loser

while not as extreme as his protection of HACHITA THE BABY it is still noticeable that Iketeru is someone he cares about.

and both kumatani and iketeru hid their love life from the camera (as did the whole cast hehe). Kumatani literally says his love life isn't family friendly - which can mean a lot of things, including that he's homosexual. Iketeru says it's too beautiful to be shared - which can mean anything really, even that he's straight and had a normal love life that he ain't willing to share.

Imo this sequence of behaviors can be read one of two ways. First of all, you'd have to be blind to not see the obvious resemblance between Iketeru and Hachita, so the affection and thus acceptance of strange gifts due to their similarity is natural. But also...gay? Hmmmmmmmmmm

4. Uramichi and Kumatani

They kind of just hang out a lot, and Kumatani regularly reads more positivity in Uramichi than is probably there. Not really as showstoppingly romantic as the other three examples of subtext, but imo still quite a nice bit of fun in its own right. They're probably the ship easiest to imagine writing besides kumatani and iketeru and my personal favorite but before we get to that...

The Predatory Gay Man I Must Mention For The Completionist In Me

ok look. homophobic caricature he may be. but i said I would catalog all gay subtext in uramichi and imo on this website gay subtext include gay text (hxh moment) and capellini furitsuke is in fact. gay. and a horrible predatory man the likes of which rival your worst coworker. And probably beat him.

he torments the men around him and forces them to engage in behavior they're not interested in. i cite here usahara and saito's mistreatment but there might be more I missed.

like you can't describe capellini's behavior as anything but horrid and disgusting. i'll call uramichi onii san many things - particularly pro-lgbt in terms of rep isn't close. Still love it in general - and I'm pretty sure the author himself is gay given the ludicrous amount of male character thirst traps he draws - but i don't think he likes that about himself tbqh. But I don't really know him - just go on his twitter now and then.

Finally, the moment I've been waiting for but you all don't realize is coming maybe idk

Uramichi and Kikaku - a mostly one sided love story

This relationship isn't so much implied as it is easily ignorable yet true: it is obviously intended to be read as a love story of sorts, whether it be a gag about how lonely uramichi is and how he needs some emotional connection, or just plain 'he's gay'. This is literally the only guy who gets the door to Uramichi's heart regularly attempting to open treatment, let alone the fact that when Kikaku begs Uramichi to help him out with work he always agrees...maybe more so due to fear than genuine care but still.

there's probably more examples, but these are enough to prove my point imho

he also invites Kikaku to the first end of year party (there aren't any others at the time of writing, specifying in the case of a reader from the future)...or attempts to. Not to Saito Uebu or any other staff member - perhaps because he expects the ones he's closer to already be there, but still - specifically the guy who's only ever bothered him to help complete his work. It's what being horrifically lonely and dick brained does to you (i would know that best).

which leads to yet ANOTHER HEART DOOR SCENE THING

so uh yeah. uramichi's constant giving in to kikaku i think makes more sense if we consider the (slight) romantic inclination he ""might"" have for him.

BONUS: Uramichi and Utano had a moment that was pretty cute but not enough to qualify as subtext in my eyes because they kind of have no chemistry in canon so i still get to title this gay subtext but I also like them

[youremyheaven]

https://www.tumblr.com/youremyheaven/754446269650452480/they-dooo-notice-everything-i-love-it-sometimes

Jupiter women can lowkey be like this too. Idk about the Freud stuff, but jupiter is the husband. When their dad fails to display positive jupiter traits and becomes arrogant, withdrawn and selfish, they become their own dad. So they embody or atleast attempt to embody positive jupiter traits of generosity and virtue. Now that I’ve typed that out, it doesn’t sound as relevant as it did in my head 😭

However I do think that what OP was describing is more of a Bharani thing than anything else. I’m sure other venus naks do it too but still.

Bharani has major connotations to childbirth and so many women make sacrifices when they have children, some are forced to leave education, some develop long term health problems, and some struggle to leave difficult relationships since children complicate that kind of thing. Before medicine advanced it was somewhat common to just die entirely bc of childbirth.

So therefore I think a lot of Bharani natives (esp moon bc we’re talking about mothers) are overly aware of the sacrifice their mothers made and it weighs on them. It becomes their “burden” as the translation of Bharani, “she who bares” takes on a literal and metaphorical interpretation. So basically Bharanis like to acknowledge the people who came before them and their sacrifices but they can have a bit of a chip on their shoulder bc of it. Inheriting their karma in a sense.

So when they experience that humiliation from their abusive parent they “eat the pain” as part of the burden they bare. Fighting back will always lead to more suffering for them despite their anger and resentment (aries). In mythology Yama was about to kick his mom but even though he holds himself back, she still cursed his foot.

Yama’s father ☀️ ☀️ also got mad at his mother for struggling to look directly at him and cursed Yama as a result, which is such a good example of the dynamics their parents have and how they suffer from it.

In conclusion, Bharanis are stoics become pushovers with daddy issues. Sorry for the unsolicited lecture, it may happen again

Nahh you're right. Jupiter women and their daddy issues are well documented (by me lmao 🤣🤡) they do become excessively giving because their dad's weren't giving at all 😤

Jupiter is a masculine planet for a reason after all. Reminds me of Rekha, Purvabhadrapada Moon. She and her siblings were the illegitimate children of a famous actor and he never acknowledged them publicly. Her mom had many other kids from other relationships etc and they were dirt poor. Rekha even went to school with her father's legitimate kids and other kids in school knew about the whole situation and called her a bastard 🥺🥹

She started acting at the age of 13 to support her ailing mother and 6 or 7 siblings. She hated being an actor and was severely exploited in the industry, esp since she had no mentors or father figures :(((( in turn she made sure none of her siblings ever had to work in the movies to make a living and supported everyone financially until they settled down 🥺 she in turn never got married or had kids :((( (she was manipulated into marrying a guy once and he committed suicide and she was hella traumatized by that as well, but that's a separate story 💀)

Here's a pic of Rekha with some of her siblings (2 or 3 are missing in the picture)

She does embody that Jupiter woman being the man trope.

(This is Rekha & her mom Pushpavalli)

Despite everything, she's never spoken ill about her father or even her mother, who clearly made her the scapegoat and placed undue pressure on her to provide even though she was a literal child. She even named her house after her mother 🥺

Anywaayyyyyssss

I agree that Bharanis are in a unique position because of their mythology and in general I think Bharanis are more dignified and humane than other Venus naks

They're outcaste naks who know what it's like to be the outsider and work their way up

But yes they're pushovers with daddy issues 😭😭😭😭

I lowkey like how empathetic they are to women bc of what they saw growing up 😔😔 like they're genuinely just like "no this is not how it should be, women need to be worshipped period, my woman will never suffer this way" and 🤧🤧😩😩😩i fall for that shit lmao

I had a recent experience with a Jupiter conjunct Purvashada Rising man who thought that broke men did not deserve to have women 💀💀💀 he said men who cannot provide have no business dating or marrying 💀💀and that "real men" should never ask for a 50-50 and put the burden on his partner and if he truly loves her, he should want her to be relaxed and enjoy life. He said things like "what's the point of me working so hard if my family isn't enjoying themselves and having a good time, my wife can do whatever she wants and I'll support her but she will never have to work to pay the bills" and ngl I love this mentality lmfao 😂🤣🤪🤭

Venus men being scarred by incompetent dads and overcompensating by being the provider and father they never had is >>>>> 🥵🥵🥵🥵so sexy of them tbh

[mckitterick]

Seek Wonder, Not Happiness

We have so many types of initiatives – self-help books, programs, and even careers – centered around achieving happiness. This is a problem, as it forces us to interpret our experiences through a single – often overrated – emotional lens.

In this video (full transcript at link), Monica Parker argues that we should instead should pursue wonder, which is neither wholly positive nor wholly negative.

Parker likens the feeling of wonder to watching a butterfly emerge from a chrysalis – it is beautiful, complex, and even a little scary. This profound mix of awe, curiosity, and fear, is something that, when achieved, can expand our resilience and deepen our interpretation of the world around us.

The key to wonder? Slowing down. She argues that tuning into our three types of “wonderbringers” – natural, social, and cognitive – and incorporating “slow thought” activities into our lives, can help us be more receptive to wonder and the benefits it provides.

Rather than single-mindedly pursuing happiness, we ought to instead fill our days with things that spark wonder and fuel our curiosity and passions, which can help us overcome emotional barriers and live truly fulfilling, wonder-full lives.

The foundation of speculative fiction (to my mind) is what has long been called "Sensawunda," the opening of doors in the reader's mind they didn't even know were there. Fiction that evokes this sense puts the reader in a position from which they can see humankind from a new perspective.

In fiction, the sense of wonder can lead to conceptual breakthroughs inspired through paradigm shifts or shifts in perspective - time, distance, fantastic worlds, vast or microscopic scales, the Other, and so forth - that lead the audience to see things and even themselves in a fresh light.

In life, this kind of perspective shift can open our minds to the wonders of the cosmos, from its most minute building blocks that shape matter itself to the hidden structure of the universe and beyond into the multiverse. Shifts in perspective are necessary to understanding the natural world as well - science rises from the foundation of sensawunda. Personally, this feeling reveals aspects of the human condition inaccessible to the self-centeredness that can be difficult to see beyond in our mundane lives.

As a child, this is what drew me to watching ant hives do their thing, to reading books about dinosaurs and astronomy, to buying my first telescope to explore the universe first-hand, and to forming a high school science club. Once I discovered it was a thing, seeking the sense of wonder drew me to reading science fiction, then writing it, and eventually teaching it.

Even if I wasn't aware of it, I think seeking the sense of wonder shaped my whole life - it's what brought me to Lawrence, Kansas, in 1992 to begin studying with SF Grand Master James Gunn, then to helping him run his SF Center for decades, and recently to forming the nonprofit Ad Astra Institute for Science Fiction & the Speculative Imagination (@adastra-sf here on Tumblr) to better focus on sharing the sensawunda with others, including helping writers do the same, creating as big a wave of sharing this sense with more people through the fiction my students write.

I hadn't thought of it as an alternative life-path to seeking happiness until reading Parker's piece, but she's onto something important. Happiness is elusive and fleeting, while sensawunda opens the mind and grows our individual universe.

If happiness is what you seek - or at least the absence of unhappiness or freeing yourself from the kind of emptiness that comes with depression or existential dread - seeking the sense of wonder is possibly your best path in life. And far more reliable than directly seeking nebulous "happiness."

Watch those bugs and imagine their lives. Watch birds fly and imagine how the air feels to them as they use it to control their world. Watch meteor showers and picture the billions of years those grains of comets have been orbiting the Sun. Study the layers of sediment laid down over millions of years and touch the fossilized remains of beings who lived long before humans walked this planet. Explore the human world to see new places and meet new people unlike those in your prior world. And, yes, read fiction that shifts your perspective like this wrapped in exciting and compelling narratives.

Open your world to new perspectives, open your mind, open your heart, and feel your soul soar on wings you didn't know you have. Seek the sense of wonder, not because it'll make you happy (though it might), but because you have no idea what you'll find.

And what you discover could be the most wonderful treasure in the universe.

[ladysternchen]

Alright. Now, this is gonna be long. And passionate. And the second rant I've written in an unusually short time. But today, I just about reached breaking-point.

Why the hell does the Silm-fadom do to Elu Thingol what it does to Elu Thingol. To be fair, it's not solely him, Elwing gets it far worse (what for????), but that's a post of its own. No, honestly. What the fuck is going on in the minds of people who demonise one character so much while totally glossing over EVERY character fault of others?

Now, don't get me wrong, as much as he is my favourite character in all I ever read or watched in my life, I know full well that Elu's no saint. He makes terrible mistakes, and he behaves at times in ways that make me want to forget that he's my fave. I also admit to reading/interpreting him a little differently from most people in the fandom (you know, being autistic sometimes comes with having a different view on people's motives and behaviours), but my opinions and headcanons are still canon-based. That's kind of the beauty of the Silmarillion with its very shallow character-descriptions, that it allows for various interpretations. That some are more apologetic than others is a result of that, and what in truth makes this fandom so very interesting. So being critical towards him is not at all what I am ranting about here.

But there is a difference between being critical and demonising.

I read a fic today that honestly shocked me to the core. And just in case author should come across this post and recognise their work in this text, please know that I am in no way criticising your story- on the contrary, it was a very good read, I found Elu as the narrating character to be hugely in character and perhaps in other circumstances, I would have quite liked it. I would have written that to you directly on AO3, but I know that critical comments are usually not well-received, and I also really didn't want to pester you about it. After all, it's don't like don't read. So to cut this short, my problem lies NOT with the fic, but with the reactions to it. And it really only was the final straw.

AND, had it been intended as a parody on fanon regarding Elu Thingol , it would have been spot-on as spot-on can be. It was basically saying that each and every thing that went wrong in FA was Elu Thingol's fault. The second and third kinslaying his fault, the deaths amongst the Noldor his fault and so on. And he drew the appropriate conclusions at the end. For which he was called a coward in the comments. And the thing is, that story is fanon on him in a nutshell. The Noldor are always depicted as the victims. And while I'm totally fine with that, be the fuck as apologetic to all characters, fandom.

Like, I'm totally fine with excusing the actions of the Noldor by mental health or just mistakes made or curiosity or hot-temper or a specific view on things. Yeah, great. Compassion is such an important element in all Tolkien's works that I am always in favour of displaying it also in the fandoms concerning his legendarium. But you can't just do it on one people. You can't depict Maedhros as the tragic hero while at the same time condemning Elu Thingol for naming the Silmaril in a flash of impulsivity, when he was telling Beren to begone. Yes, that was idiotic, yes, he was in the wrong there, yes, what happened after was totally a result of that mistake. But still I daresay that he was punished for that in the most terrible way possible, which was the death, the ultimate death, of his only child.

You cannot pass over the Noldor invading Elu's lands and then claim that the ban on Quenya -a language that had by then already been replaced with Sindarin in mixed settlements because Sindarin was easier for the Noldor to learn than Quenya was to the Sindar and Nandor- is cultural genocide.

you can't claim that the kinslayings were caused by Elu and Dior and Elwing's refusal to hand over the Silmaril, that they positively forced the Fëanorians' hands, and at the same be very understanding about the dwarves murdering Elu (yeah, he insulted them, is was an absolute arsehole there, but that still is no excuse for murder)

You can't go saying how the Oath drove the sons of Fëanor to all their actions and then be convinced that what made the Silmaril such a trap for Elu to be nothing but greed.

And just so I make my point completely clear, I am all for being apologetic. About Fëanor and his sons, about Eöl, about the smiths of Nogrod, be apologetic about Sauron and Morgoth even if you can find that in canon for yourself, or if you just happen to feel those characters. Be open and curious about the apologies other people have for their favourite characters. But apply those rules to ALL characters.

Honestly, please stop. Please, if you want to hate Elu, to which of course everyone is entitled, hate him for what he canonically does. Don't make up stories about him just to make him look worse. You know, you can love your faves without having to demonise others.

And please, if you need to vent your feelings about Elu Thingol... tag it as such. It's so so so annoying to try and find content about your character and then get nothing but bashing or the same half-truth repeated again and again and again without further evaluation.

(Even better, stop hating all around. Yeah, it's just fictional characters. But you know, courtesy to the internet, real people look a whole lot like fictional characters. Judging, demonising, bashing, scapegoating, that all works on real people (or peoples!) just like it works on fictional characters. And the trouble is, real people might react in real life just as Elu reacted in the aforementioned fanfic and take their own life. Only that in real humans, dead is dead.)

[so-i-grudgingly-joined-this-site]

Dream-Killing Bitches, Evil Exes, and Bad Moms: Portrayals of Women in "The Kindly Ones"

So, I've been attempting to write a more formal meta about this for months, but I've not gotten it to ever gel properly, so I thought I'd share my thoughts more informally here.

COMICS SPOILERS AHEAD

Basically, there is something really weird about how women are treated in The Kindly Ones arc of The Sandman.

The semi-official guidebook "Sandman: King of Dreams" basically called The Kindly Ones a #GirlPower arc, but I don't find much particularly empowering about it. Lyta literally goes insane from the stress of being a single mother, albeit exacerbated by supernatural forces. Thessaly is a TERF bitch who serves the role of "spiteful ex" to the protagonist. Nuala is passive and sad and ultimately just pushed around by the whims of the men around her, and when she finally makes a choice of her own it kills the person she cared about. Rose's quarter-life crisis is miraculously "solved" by an unplanned pregnancy. Chantal and Zelda die of AIDS. Even the unstoppable Furies are ultimately a tool in a man's orchestrated suicide-by-magical-cop.

Maybe this is a leftover from when the books were written? Maybe this was the epitome of feminism in the 90s? Or maybe the guide was meaning that the women were powerful as in LITERALLY powerful...women sure do wield a lot of deadly strength and magic in this, even if none of them are particularly EMpowered, if you catch my meaning.

There's also layers as to how we're supposed to interpret this in relation to Morpheus, our doomed protagonist. I've written previously about how we might be intended to see him as an unsympathetic misogynist. If that's the case, then perhaps his doom at the hands of multiple female forces is supposed to be karmic and positive, no matter how questionable those women are. Support for this interpretation is the myth the old ladies (a manifestation of the Kindly Ones?) tell Rose, wherein a deceptive man who abuses and kills his wife meets a karmic comeuppance at the hands of his magically transformed daughters and resurrected wife.

There's also the fact that Overture reveals that Morpheus has MASSIVE issues with his mother. If one decides not to interpret Morpheus's death as a suicide, there is the possible alternate explanation that he frankly underestimated Lyta's threat level to him. Having never experienced a mother's unconditional love, he couldn't fathom that a mother could love her kid enough to literally go insane and kill gods over them.

But even as motherhood is a negative path to stress, insanity, and threatening the fabric of the universe, it's also VERY uncomfortably presented as a cure-all. Rose only gets her heart back by getting knocked up, and we're supposed to see Lyta's suggestion of an abortion as further continuance of Lyta's madness. But of all people, Lyta knows what she's talking about! She knows how difficult single motherhood is! She was going mad even before supernatural intervention... In fact, multiple sequences in The Kindly Ones make it ambiguous what elements are supernatural and what are just her mind interpreting mundane signs as godly while cracking under realistic stress!

This goes outside of the arc I chose to focus on, but I also can't help but contrast the two lesbian couples: Foxglove and Hazel vs. Chantal and Zelda. Foxglove and Hazel end up on the path of traditional motherhood, down to having to choose a child over a career, despite being lesbians! Meanwhile, Chantal and Zelda, as mentioned, die horribly of AIDS. The paths for women are motherhood, tragedy, madness, or some combination thereof.

I'd almost say that the ultimate message of The Kindly Ones regarding women is "no matter what type of woman you are, things will go horribly for you, you cannot win, and no matter what you are at the whim of a violent patriarchal system. The closest you can come to 'winning' is unfortunately by playing into the male-POV fantasy of devoted motherhood." But. like. that was DEFINITELY NOT THE INTENDED WRITTEN MESSAGE. BUT THAT IS THE MESSAGE THAT RESULTS.

Forget asking if Morpheus is a misogynist, the NARRATIVE ITSELF of The Kindly Ones pushes misogyny more than any individual character does!

tagging those who I know like discussing/reading meta:

@serenityspiral @orionsangel86 @violetoftheendless @duckland @notallsandmen

[pinksilvace]

Fern guides their mutuals and followers through Cats 1998 as if we're all sitting on the same couch watching it and I'm shouting out stuff (4/?)

MASTERPOST

Character Wiki Pages

On to Bustopher!

8: Bustopher Jones

Everybody is SO MEAN about Bustopher Jones (joking). I love him so much but nowadays when numbers are cut his is usually one of them since he usually shows up once and disappears 🥲

The actor for Bustopher sometimes dons a chorus costume for the opening number, often named Peter. They're also usually the actor who plays Gus later, as both Bustopher and Gus traditionally had operatic moments in the show.

Tom Hooper clearly did not know how to interpret media because could you IMAGINE 2019 Bustopher cleaning up his appearance as a first impression???

When I was little, I was under the impression that Bombalurina, Jenny, and Jellylorum all liked Bustopher Jones in similar ways; it wasn't until I started interacting with the fandom on here that I learned how some people interpret Bombalurina as being completely sarcastic in this song. Art's always up to interpretation, of course, and that's the fun of it, but I never really got that impression, even with Rosemarie Ford's eye rolls. To me, this moment shows Bombalurina as a character that can show others respect. It also cements her as being at the older end of the "not-old" adults.

This is YET ANOTHER song that is PERFECT for examining whatever Pouncival is getting up to at a given moment. I am once again saying that the Pouncival cut in this show is the most fun

Subsequently, this is also the "Skimbleshanks is three wrong moves away from a panic attack" song, which to me means that he respects Bustopher just as much as Jenny does. I like to think that they grew up together.

(For an incredibly anxious Skimble, here's Boston 2007; skip to 28:30):

(While I'm at it, there's this part in Moscow 2005 when the boys are all lined up like they're going to take a family photo, and I think it's very silly and cute; skip to 27:45)

Have you ever watched Cats (1998) and wondered who that cat that's really excited to see Bustopher is? That's George. The George Cut (TM) is probably my second favorite version of '98, after The Pouncival Cut (TM).

No doubt, you'll notice the number of Mistoffelees & Bustopher moments in this number. This is probably where the most popular headcanon about Bustopher originates: lots of us like to think he's an uncle, usually in conjunction with monochromatic siblings (Misto & Victoria & sometimes Alonzo)(Alonzo is like. Y as a vowel). I've also seen some folks frame him as Misto's dad, and in those cases, Misto is usually an only child.

Slightly off-topic, but my friend @thepineconelord likes to think of Mistoffelees as butler-core, and I think they're especially correct in this number.

(Yet another side note: the monochromatic siblings staging is a bit stronger in post-US Revival choreography, especially between Alonzo and Misto. Head to 30:00)(<- pretending to see things that supports the tunnel vision)

(Is it obvious yet that I've watched this number, specifically, many times?)

Okay I only just noticed this one but WHAT is up with Plato in this part. This picture doesn't do nearly enough justice to his posing but. My dude are you okay??? He was built to have an arm slung over the back of a park bench and instead he's here and forced to harmonize

The rare moment when Mistoffelees is peeved by Pouncival (and the altogether common moment where Munkustrap is also peeved by Pouncival)

One incredibly interesting thing about this number is that it's one of the most gendered numbers in the whole show, speaking from a choreography standpoint. When I was younger, I thought it came from a position of "all of the girls have crushes so they're all fangirling together," but that's not true. Only Jenny is shown to have a crush, and Coricopat, George, and Skimbleshanks could all very easily start fanboy-ing with them.

What is it, then? Is it because Bustopher presents as a much more "traditional" character than the rest? Do the things they're describing about him ascribe to him a certain level of masculinity that he can only share with the boys? Are these formations all part of some sort of militaristic protocol? Leading from that, is his appearance at the Ball (and approval) a right of passage thing for the boys? It's not something I've really seen anybody touch on, which is odd to me, because Cats in general tends to have interesting messages re: gender roles, especially with Mistoffelees, who obviously shares some sort of close connection with Bustopher! GILLIAN LYNNE REVEAL YOUR SECRETS

The cats know what golf is. Either that, or Bustopher saw a rich person play it, decided to copy them, and everybody else is amazed for his benefit.

[allthefujoshiunite]

Hi, Nora....My friend and I made a list of ace and aro characters from BL, and then we get to Love For Sale. We think Sieon is aro, based on he never regret his previous relationships until he is with Namwoo. And how he felt so indifferent about them. But what do you think? Also, do you have any BL characters that you think are ace or aro?

Great question! And thank you for giving me a chance to talk about Sieon. I'm always happy to do so. If you want the tl;dr answer, I don't consider him to be one. However, as is always the case on Wild Wild Web when you express a thought or preference, people take it as me condemning all the other thoughts/preferences. So here's a PSA: if you consider him Aro, good for you! You can interpret him however you like.

Also, lots and LOTS of spoilers for the uninitiated.

As for how I read his character. I think Sieon is hard to understand for a lot of people because they expect him to be either this or that and try to put him into categories he doesn't fully belong in. It's one of the reasons why I'm so enamored with Love for Sale as a whole, and Sieon in particular. Dal Hyeonji, even though this is their first commercial BL work, does an absolutely fantastic job in this character study.

Back to the point. When the story was still being released, I entertained a similar idea myself about him that, maybe he's demiromantic. Not a romance-aversed aromantic, but still a part of the spectrum. Then I kind of abandoned that as well.

We are a melting pot of our environments, cultural codes, family, and our characteristics. That's why most of the time, it's hard to make out whether you've become something due to some external force or you were that something before anything else. A very lame example would be, do I find red lipstick sexy because I find it arousing, or is it because it was marketed in such a way that I am conditioned to think it's sexy? Similarly, it's not always easy to tell apart whether your feelings are genuine, you feel like you have to feel certain ways towards certain people, or something impacted you in such a way that you don't feel a certain way anymore. I know I'm being vague but hopefully, it'll make more sense now.

Sieon, having to shoulder her mother's emotional well-being and their reversed parent-child roles, has found himself in a position where he seeks gratification through the things he can provide to his partners so he can feel 'needed'. The comfort he can provide for his partner becomes his purpose to be in that relationship. I was throwing him bombastic side-eyes very early into the story where he never expressed any type of preference and was very evasive whenever Namwoo tried to probe. Naturally, it was quite frustrating for Namwoo. As for me, it was as if Sieon was trying to erase himself from the relationship and be there for Namwoo as a combination of 'bank account + lips to kiss + a hand to hold' and blend into the ether as a person.

That's also why his relationships ended the way they did. He knew his mom wasn't happy, and even if he tried to alleviate her pain, it ultimately didn't work, thus, the one last good deed he could do for his mom was to let her go. To not be greedy. To not be selfish and say "I need you, don't go." This is the root of his letting go of his exes 'too easily', rather than him not 'loving' his partners.

Here's where things get tricky. Ideally, a romantic relationship requires you to be vulnerable, communicative, diplomatic, etc. Ideally. But none of us are exempt from carrying our baggage with us into the next relationship, no matter how big or small. In that sense, should we say that just because Sieon hasn't been perfectly vulnerable or has been avoiding conflict, he was never in a real relationship before? I don't think we can. 

One of the moments my heart ached for him was during his conversation with his close friend. He reiterates it later on when they're having the talk with Namwoo, but he desperately tries to convey that, no matter what his partners felt, whether they were satisfied on their own account or not, he was always genuine. Has always been. It may not fit the mold of grandiose, shouting-from-the-mountaintops, I'd-swallow-a-sword-for-you kind of love we are constantly sold in the romance genre, but that doesn't mean he isn't capable of love either. On the contrary, I think he does look for romantic companionship, but he just doesn't know how not to intellectualize his feelings.

So, in my opinion, "he didn't love anyone else before Namwoo" is not exactly the correct way to read him. Up until Namwoo decided that he was going to hold onto Sieon and 'show him a selfish love' in Sieon's mom's words, their relationship was following the pretty much same direction as the others. At first, Namwoo is content with what Sieon provides, but then he develops feelings for him and expects Sieon to return them in a way he can't. The same old story that is bound to end with a break-up.

Emphasis on 'in a way he couldn't'. The way I read it, his way of loving is different from what others deem as 'romantic love', so he's convinced that he can't reciprocate others' feelings. If that's love, and his feelings don't look like that, then he must not be in love after all. And when Namwoo shows Sieon that it's okay to be needy and selfish at times, and it's okay to be vulnerable and honest, we see that was the wake-up call he needed all along. 

The verdict? If you consider his past partners through the "he wasn't able to genuinely love them" lens and interpret his "not being able to reciprocate romantic feelings" literally, you can think of him as an aromantic who's not really averse to dating. But as I've tried to elaborate, rather than not feeling romantic love, he does feel love and seek companionship but doesn't know how to handle conflict and can't break free from the behavioral patterns ingrained in him in childhood. 

About aro/ase characters in BL. There's only one work that comes to mind which, interestingly, makes asexuality/demisexuality one of the core themes it explores and that's This is Love by Ziki Masaya. I have reviewed it before (click me) and I highly recommend it! I can maybe mention Sangwoo from Semantic Error, but then again, I think he's just autistic and his approach to romantic love for another guy is different from his normie boyfriend Jongchan because of that. I can't really think of any other works with Aro/ace characters as there's always romance/sex involved. Or maybe I just haven't paid enough attention! Let me know about the list you two came up with ~

PSA: I added the intro because the original link needs you to login to Lezhin as it's a Mature title, but you know the drill. Read on the official platfrorms!

[thedupshadove]

Lois + Clark roleswap AU (interpret this however you will)

Kala Jor-El lands in rural Colorado, only a scenic drive away from the U.S. Army base where General Sam Lane happens to be serving...

After bringing her back to their residence, Sam felt it was his duty to alert Washington to this clear extraterrestrial presence, and hand the baby--and the shuttle that brought her--over to Area 51 for further investigation. His wife Eleanor had to rather strenuously argue him out of it. What neither of them knew while having this discussion was that one of the abilities granted to Kryptonians by a yellow sun is near-perfect infant recall. After this initial reaction gave way to a childhood of overall better treatment, Lois does love her foster-father. She supposes. But she'll never entirely trust him.

It was also Eleanor who pulled a few favors from her own mysterious circle to have the remains of the shuttle moved to somewhere safe until Lois was old enough to claim it.

Having been raised in crowded environments full of brusque, no-nonsense people, Kala's mask didn't develop in the same way that Kal's did. She tends much more toward overt charisma and force of personality, because surely no one so in-your-face could be concealing anything about herself, right?

If anything, it's Superwoman who's the less assertive persona, since a woman known to be able to crack mountains with her bare hands has to carry herself carefully if she wants people to react with anything other than fear.

Given her renowned beauty and staggering list of accomplishments, it's unsurprising that Superwoman has received romantic overtures from some of the most rich, famous, and powerful men on the planet. But she doesn't want any of them. She wants Clark Kent, the sweetheart of a Kansas-born sci-fi nerd whose overall lack of physical prowess never seems to stop him from trying to talk down a mugger, or pull a child out of the remains of a building ruined by Brainiac.

"I'm not brave, Clark. Nobody with my inbuilt armor and arsenal can be called 'brave'. You've got nothing but your fragile human skin, and you still faced down a squad of Lexcorp goons in the name of letting people know what Luthor's 'charitable donations' were really going to. That's brave."

Clark's background is mostly the same, save for being Jonathan and Martha's biological child. Not needing to hide his powers or cultivate an easily-overlooked persona might make him a little less timid and stammery, but he's still a farm-boy in the big city for the first time, still ridiculously kind-hearted, and still an absolute dork. Also the glasses are real in this version.

Rather than chasing after Superwoman and ignoring Lois, I think the conflict here is that Clark is deeply smitten with both Superwoman and Lois, and his moral code won't allow him to be with either of them while he knows his heart would still be drawn to the other.

As a stepping-stone before telling the truth, Lois might suggest that they go the polyamory route. Clark is skeptical, but says he's willing to try it...as long as the three of them can meet to make sure everyone is on the same page. Whichever persona didn't make the suggestion has to feign unwillingness in order to keep the secret from crashing down too soon.

Lucy would take the role of the Imperiled Civilian more often, I think, now that her position relative to the hero has gone from "My girlfriend's sister and my best friend's girlfriend" to "My sister (and my best friend's girlfriend)". Clark, Jimmy, and Lucy probably get Damsoled about equally (Lucy knows the secret; the other two don't).

[sapphire-writes]

Jo!! Miss!!! Friend!!... I come to you in a time of need. Everyone, gather around. I just finished watching the episode. Mind y'all it's like 7:30 am so my wording will not be wording.

Anyways .. i am just like in a dilemma... Is writing that makes me uncomfortable bad or am I just not seeing a bigger picture?

I think that for Aemond it makes sense. It has been established that Alicent is a shit mom (not saying she hates her kids!!!! She doesn't! But like Cersei proved loving your kids does not a good mother make). She is not affectionate or really knows how to comfort them (it's like losing her mother at a young age and being maritally raped into the role of one kinda stunted her development!)

I can totally see Aemond shedding that arrogant confident super capable persona of his (not that he isn't all the above he just plays it up and uses it as armour) behind closed doors, in a place where HE feels comfortable.

It's just that i H A T E that that person is the woman sexually abused him as a child. Like... I think we are all entitled to that feeling.

I feel very sorry for his character. He was a child he didn't deserve any of it. Much less now deserve to only have a stranger to find comfort in. To be raised in such a family that this is the only logical option for him? Ilhsm, that's devastating.

But i think it makes sense. I hate that he has to be in this position, but i think this whole mess (so uncomfortable a scene) is the point in a way.

Helaena is being exploited by her family and the one to force her in this position is her mother. Alicent feels guilt over the BnC incident and she throws that burden onto Helaena and Criston. Otto started the entire thing and now when his daughter seeks the least bit of comfort he has the audacity to not want to even hear it. Aegon is crying and acting out and still his mother cannot bring herself to give him anything. Not even the slappings she used to. Now she has Criston to make herself feel comforted.

Also the whole scene like... The way it was filmed..idk... And if i understood correctly she tried to like...touch him? And he said not here? Like.. ooooof... Triggering .. okay im not going to touch that one now.. too soon.

But yeah... A man needs his basic emotional needs met and that was his best option.

Idk.. what are you thinking? I think despite the difference in the fanon interpretation of Aemond that emotional core was sth that we all clocked quite correctly. So.. i think the root of his personality is everywhere the same.

Bestie!! Love everything you’ve said and I agree! I can totally see why they went this direction with Aemond, and though im not the biggest fan I can appreciate they’re giving emotional depth to his character.

As for Alicent and Aemonds relationship, I hear what you’re saying but my perception was that Aemond and Alicent were closer than her relationship with the other Targtowers and maybe that’s on me, my fandom goggles on again, so the mommy issues is throwing me a bit— it feels more Aegon coded idk!

I agree— I think it’s super uncomfortable to watch Aemond seek comfort from his abuser and at the same time very realistic!

I’m interested to see where this goes for sure and trying to take off my fandom goggles 😂

[babyspacebatclone]

I made a comment yesterday about Catra from SPoP having a lot of the same traumas as my brother.

It reminded me of something.

I babble, so the story is below the cut.

But it exactly describes why I, personally, am unsatisfied with the “closure” shown in canon in regards to Catra having a healthy relationship with Adora - any kind of relationship - with the state of self-awareness she ends the series on.

TL;DR:

If my brother interprets something innocent I say as an “attack” on him, there is no winning for me to try and change his mind.

Having a third party attempt to change his mind is most likely to just add to his trauma of me being the “golden child” growing up, which I’ll discuss at the end of the post below.

And my brother interpreting statements from other people, not just me, as a personal attack is not an unexpected occurrence.

Link to a different example that expands on the kinds of things he’ll get into this state over….

I’ll start that my younger brother’s and my history of emotional abuse from a parent figure (our biodad) is many order of magnitudes below Catra’s and Adora’s. And this is not an “obvious” statement if you don’t know me, because sadly there are examples of child abuse out there to be found that surpass Shadow Weaver….

Nevertheless, we very much developed very similar trauma responses and issues: I was the “golden child,” someone who tends to be submissive and helpful as a temperament, lucky enough to find things like school easy; my brother struggled more with his anger, school, and in general just about everything I seemed to be good at.

Even as a teenager (around 16), I could clearly see a dynamic of “I get more positive attention, he gets more attention.”

I don’t know if it’s personality or trauma based on his part, but I also used to have a “joke” about our belongings: “What’s mine is ours and what’s his I don’t touch.”

Both sides of that were dictated by him.

Nevertheless, I always viewed my responsibility as both the oldest child and “one who had it easier” (like, 10 out of 100 is higher than 5 out of 100….) to take care of and protect him, and it wasn’t until we were about 14 and 16 respectively I started to resent that.

I’d resent how he treated me, sure, but I’d always recognized a lot of his behavior problems were my father’s fault.

Speaking of my father, there’s definitely cycles of abuse here; I never wanted nor could have handled the details, but him being raised by first generation German immigrants and then entering the Canadian Air Force gives me things to suspect.

I also cut ties with him at 24; my brother when he was kicked out of the house by him at 17.

(very very long story; we were living with him after the divorce until Mom could get on her feet)

Anyway…..

We’re now both 40+. In many ways, our relationship has improved - we’re the only ones we’re comfortable with discussing we’re Queer within the family, for example - and he definitely wishes we were closer friends.

In the past few years, I’m slowly losing the guilt over me not feeling the same way.

This is the perfect example why.

It was 2019, my brother was early into a new romantic relationship , and Episode 9 of Star Wars was coming out.

My brother was really excited that me and his then-girlfriend were bonding over both being geeks, and he excitedly invited me to go to an advanced showing of The Rise of Starwalker that was happening in a nearby town.

I had very little interest in actually seeing the movie, and am an Autistic Introvert to his Autistic Extrovert, so none of this really sounded like “fun” to me.

But he was excited, and as sibling outings go didn’t sound painful.

So I put on my big-girl big-sister pants on and agreed.

Something with my family is that the person in charge of an outing drives - which is 100% a control thing, and functionally means if you can’t justify driving yourself my mom or my brother (depending on if she’s involved) is picking you up.

(despite not meeting him until I was 22, my step-father and I are exceptionally similar and neither of us rock the boat there)

Once I finally got a driver’s license at 35, I started to hate this system, but again it’s rarely actually painful and thus not worth making a deal over.

Anyway, on the day my brother comes to pick me up. I technically knew he was picking me up first and then we were going to his girlfriend’s new place, but I hadn’t quite processed that this was a short visit and not just her jumping into the car.

So I got into the back seat so she could ride shotgun when we got to her.

My brother found this hilarious (or maybe was pretending to? idk with him…) and teased me for not getting up front with him.

I work as a daycare teacher, and at that time it probably had been only a month since a lead teacher hd come back from maternity leave, and trying to cover her duties for several months had almost - and I am serious here - broken me.

I remember it taking almost 30 seconds for me to understand what the problem was, and when I did I did not want to have to deal with him laughing at me over something so stupid.

So I said something along the lines of “Opps, sorry, braindead, tired from work.”

I need to emphasize:

All I said was that I was tired and blamed my work.

In response, my brother gave me a cptsd flashback.

I was being shouted at, being told I don’t appreciate how tired he is after his - and he’s right here - physically intensive job, do I appreciate anything….

When confronted with something that reminds me of one of my biological father’s outbursts, I immediately drop into “freeze” out of “fight, flight, freeze, fawn.”

I did not understand why he had taken my statement as a direct attack on him, but he had, this was happening, and there was nothing I would be able to do to stop it.

I sat there, silently crying, waiting to be ordered out of his car because I physically could not move until I was given that.

To my complete shock he got silent…

And started the car.

I felt like I was in a parallel universe.

The raw rage was still radiating off my brother, but somehow he had chosen to drive to his then-girlfriend’s place as planned.

I don’t think I was able to give her the full story, but once I basically said I’d upset him she ripped into him for making me cry.

Kinda wish she hadn’t been such a flake in just about every other regard; a girl needs a strong backbone to survive my brother.

After he’d been calmed down, we were back in his car and driving to the movie theatre half an hour away.

By the time we got there my brother was back to his happy excited persona, very very proud that he had thought of such a cool thing for his two geeky girls to do, and the fact it ended up with us seeing Rise of Starwalker didn’t dampen it.

(I shall say I was not impressed with directions taken in the movie, and my overall impressions are shared by specific segments of Star Wars fans)

However…

I never stopped being upset by the entire thing - specifically, that while my brother had apologized for shouting at me, he never apologized for why he had shouted at me.

And as I said at the top of this post, there is no winning if I were the one to try and bring up how hurtful that had been.

I’d either set him off on the entire “you don’t appreciate me!” thing and, ya know?

No, I didn’t appreciate much about this entire endeavor, I was doing it entirely as a favor to you so you could have a fun night out with me on your terms.

Just because you spend a lot of energy doing something you think someone else is going to enjoy, doesn’t automatically force them into actually liking what you are doing.

Sometimes, you have to do a bit of calculus, and figure out mental energy put in versus mental drain during activity versus outcome, and pick things that have a low net loss in order to be a nice decent human being.

Doesn’t mean it’s still not a net loss.

Having a third party explain to my brother he completely flipped over nothing and not every statement about my life being hard means his suffering is invalidated is thin ice too.

Because that’s exactly what had happened.

The only way my brother can feel secure that his needs will be met is if his suffering is acknowledged as the worse, and therefore will be prioritized.

Just like my biological father’s suffering always had to be prioritized.

Just like I learned somewhere early in elementary school that I had to hide my suffering, because entering into the arena of “who needs attention more?” would only end with more trauma for me.

Just like I learned I had to be satisfied with the positive attention people gave me for doing things they thought were worthy, but also not being a “show off” and actually seek out attention because that made me a bad person.

Because I got the most positive attention.

And my brother got the most attention.

And I understand my brother’s traumas.

And the fact he tried to fix things for me by not canceling our event, does show that he does try and improve things, he does know he’s hurting me.

But I can’t think of how explaining “punishing your sister for you mistaking neutral statements for personal attacks” to him is going to be helpful

unless it’s done by a professional.

And I can’t be involved in it in any way, or else it just quite naturally is going to just add to the existing resentment that neither of us could prevent happening when we were children.

Because, yeah, it’s shitty to realize you’re hurting someone you love because of your mistakes.

It’s not something people want to have to admit.

But both our work schedules got super packed due to COVID.

And I haven’t had a “brother led” activity since.

And I don’t fucking ever want to again.

And I still feel guilty about that.

But a fuck ton less than I did in 2021.