#and here is My Interpretation: childe knows his position and knows it will force him to hurt others

[starscr0ss]

i actually have a hard time understanding childe's character and is mostly because of other people's takes + im like so scared of mischaracterizing him

[14carrotghoul]

and you can tell everybody (unplugged)

Hi friends! Do not proceed if you don't want spoilers for my fic, and you can tell everybody! Album notes and extras are below the cut :)

ACD's early career is releasing covers and original songs with June on YouTube and later TikTok. Career takes off his first year of university and the rest of the band joins, agreeing to play for a few years to see what happens.

[unnamed] (2020) [very little info on this besides being very pointedly Mexican-American, but the genre is rock influenced by Mexican music, like Cafe Tacvba? Molotov? but more modern]

tex mex - Lyrical inspiration: "Somos Mas Americanos" by Los Tigres Del Norte

decisions (November 2023) [highly influenced by Omar Apollo, I promise the other albums are very different! I'm shoving him down your throats here and I know it lol]

1 new message - mellow r&b. Have suspected something is wrong, ignored it, and now the impact is hitting full force. Wrongly interpreted as Alex leaving a voicemail for an ex but it is a song written for his past self about missing his ADHD and bisexuality. Sound: "3AM" by Haim

reckless abandon - daddy issues song cowritten with Liam. Bilingual. Sound & lyrically: "Voice Inside My Head" by The Chicks

am I? - 'You raised me to disappoint you bc I could never live up to your expectations'/'It took me too long to find myself bc I've been trying to be who you imagined'. Sound: "Go Away" by Omar Apollo

new year new me - fuck expectations, I'm going to do what I want Sound: "Invincible" by Omar Apollo

very bad things - upbeat hookup song. breaking all his own rules and it feels good. "Mercury" by Steve Lacy

split household - child of divorce anthem. Sound: "Kamikaze" by Omar Apollo

seria una mentira - don't make me choose a side. I love you both and it tears me apart. Pointedly about parents. Sound: "Two of Us" by Omar Apollo

too much - Cumbia version of "Too Much" by Carly Rae Jepsen

never enough - never enough to convince people to stay. Sound: "Pram" by Omar Apollo. Also feel this song's outro is very fitting for this!

a light left on - Platonic June appreciation song about how safe Alex has always felt with her. Sound & lyrically: "Caminar Bonito" by Natalia Lafourcade

Good - First time he is told and BELIEVES he is good. "While U Can" by Omar Apollo

yrs - Dramatic love song. First time Alex uses rain motif. Sound: "Petrified" by Omar Apollo

seria una mentira pt. 2 - it would be a lie to choose something simple over choosing you. Sound: "Two of Us" by Omar Apollo but slowed down and more hopeful

spine/die climbing - vulnerable pillow talk. Sound: "Plane Trees" by Omar Apollo, Mustafa

miel - sacrilege bj song. Catches on with queer Latine audience and is memed similarly to Call me by your name by Lil Nas X. Grows the band's audience. Sound: "Te Mata" by Kali Uchis.

on purpose - I choose to be all the things that I am and am not picking a side. End album on a positive note. Sound:"Done With You" by Omar Apollo

vows (June 2024) [very American sound, dreamier, more optimistic]

no booty calls - voicemail w instrumental. Sound: "All Around Me Now" by Perfume Genius

apricot tarts - honeymoon period of a new relationship. Sound: "Someone to Spend Time With" by Los Retros

in dreams - extended version of Henry's in dreams email set to music. In this universe, they met and kissed on New Years at Pez's party and still did long distance and exchanged emails :) Sound: "In A River (Acoustic)" by Rostam

supersonic - secret, fun ode to karaoke night and letting loose on a night out. Sound: "Runaways" by The Killers

tapestry - thank god I'm bi anthem. Sound: "The Steps" by Haim

lipstick on her neck - sung by June. Essentially the lyrics of lipstick lover by janelle monae but in "ALLIIGATOR TEARS" by Beyonce Americana style.

then have me - tender I'm putting it all out there, all you have to do is take it. Sound: "Solar Pilgrim" by Twain

pride (and prejudice) - purposefully anthemic chorus. about being proud despite prejudice in a red state. Sound: "Delta Dawn" by Tanya Tucker

he is my choice - eloping in the rain. comedic/romantic song about how everything went wrong at a wedding. Sound: "Howling at Nothing" by Nathaniel Rateliff & the Night Sweats

roasting Alex - jam session - the band lovingly roasts Alex. Sound: "Ballad of Hank Williams" by Hank Williams Jr., Don Helms

Not Just Friends - Liam to Spencer. Song about how they're frequently mistaken for just best friends and how happy it makes him to correct that they're more than that. Song chosen so piano and drums play the beats together. Sound: "A Little Honey" by Nathaniel Rateliff & the Night Sweats

Be Cool - Spencer to Liam. Quirky/self-deprecating song about his butterflies about being with someone he's in awe of. Sound: "Heart's Content" by Brandi Carlile

a romantic - June to Nora. Confirms that Nora is aromantic to public. June saying she would never need more from Nora bc she gets to wake up next to her best friend every day. Sound: "Tu" by maye.

bluebonnet - This place (Texas) was never a home to me until you showed me how it was a part of you and now I see you everywhere. Sound & lyrically: "I Think of You" by Rodriguez.

red-blooded (August 2029)

cover: Navy suit w white shirt and American Flag pin on lapel, cropped so only torso is showing

Americana sound again - about 50/50 rock and Americana. Features from Dolly Parton, Orville Peck, and Brandon Flowers

blue blood (August 2029)

cover: red British army dress, cropped so only torso is showing

British glam rock sounds. Features from Elton John, Brian May, and samples David Bowie.

co-written with Henry

-

AND as for where they go from the end of the fic:

Alex becomes a civil rights lawyer in Austin.

Henry's writing career grows but he remains relatively private.

June becomes a music journalist. Eventually ventures into exposes on the industry's shady practices and successfully pivots into investigative journalism

Nora does her own thing.

Liam stays in music industry as a band manager under Zahra's tutelage.

Spencer majored in music production/mixing(?) and gets taken under Pez's wing. Has a smaller solo career and produces for a few indie bands before he settles down and works as a sound mixer in the film industry.

Bea continues to play guitar and flit between collaboration projects.

Zahra is the band's manager and Shaan is Henry's publicist/mentor and they meet while officially strategizing Alex's coming out.

[ellewod]

Explain to me how we went from Alicent standing in front of Aegon to protect him from possible dragon fire during his coronation, to oh okay you can kill him Rhanerya so I can be free. Make it make sense?!

i don’t know whether you’d prefer a short or elaborate answer, but i have really been thinking about this.

first impression after the episode and this is still my opinion to this day; character assassination.

they needed alicent to abandon her "rotten" sons, the true threats to rhaenyra’s claim. the writers liked the idea of alicent finally "freeing herself" of these burdens and the "mistakes" of her past — having children, her (justified) resentment towards rhaenyra, being ambitious and ruling in her husband’s stead, fighting for her children’s survival by forcing the crown on her firstborn’s head — in order to finally become the woman who is willing to sacrifice everything for her one true love (rhaenyra). essentially, it’s an insult to everything alicent stood for and it’s insane to me how anyone truly sees this as liberating and romantic. it makes no sense. not in terms of her character nor in terms of rhaenicent’s relationship, but i don’t want to dive deeper here. my opinion: a weakass writing choice to have yet another fanficionesque scene, like the sept one, that’s supposed to be a dramatic moment. whereas for me it’s the final nail in show!alicent’s coffin which is her character depth and development.

besides that, i read some other takes. here’s one i really hate, but i felt was also something the writers wanted the viewers to believe:

alicent "finally" chooses her daughter and granddaughter (girls) over her "rotten" sons. sorry, but no. she has four children. two of them are deeply troubled and have, partly thanks to her parenting, caused much harm. daeron has not. helaena has not. yet, she only "chooses" the daughter. doesn’t even call her granddaughter by name. this take infuriates me because as a parent you don’t get to "choose" which child is more deserving and which one you want to abandon. in the end, aemond tried to fight for their side. aegon has been wronged terribly, partly by alicent herself. daeron did nothing to deserve this "choice". her two sons may be perceived as "rotten", yet they are her sons! making it seem that she is liberating herself by finally abandoning two of her children, after causing them so much harm, and disregarding the fact that this decision is actually destroying everything she fought for in her life. just no. no.

here’s the last one which i don’t think the writers wanted us to believe since no woman has any real ambitions on that show BUT tom glynn-carney said something that might support this:

alicent was portrayed as a "bad" mother from day one (which i appreciate). it makes so much sense and it could’ve been amazing. the coronation scene was brilliant in this sense. while her shielding him with her own body could be interpreted as that deep down she truly loves aegon (which i preferred to think), it could also simply mean that she is ambitious and doesn’t want her son, the rightful heir, to die. alicent knows aegon is easily manipulated (by her) — as opposed to aemond, who’d be next in line. we see her manipulating aegon throughout the show, and she likes the idea of still being in control. she made decisions in her sickly husband’s stead. she wants to keep this position and since she knows her son "has no taste for duty" him becoming king allows her to keep on making decisions. she immediately suggests to rule in aegon’s stead when he is bedridden. but when she realizes that her side will most likely lose the war, she decides to "sacrifice" him to be "free" (save her own ass).

tom said this:

“I think the reason that she hasn’t sold him out sooner is there’s a lot for her in the Red Keep. She’s comfortable, she’s looked after, she’s fed. She’s probably seen that her time there is up and she’s no longer of use, especially as Aemond’s banished her from the Small Council. She knows what’s good for her. She’s also a hyper-intelligent woman and she’s not going to put herself in a position where she’s worse off.”

it’s cold but i actually prefer tom’s take over the idea that alicent selling out her crippled, burnt, broken son to the woman who demanded for her other son to be tortured, and who caused alicent’s grandson to be butchered, is part of her "liberation".

[bababerries]

Jack is a lot of things but tbh I don’t really get why people call him a stalker and I do take issue with insinuating he was abusive to Lacie in their relationship (when she was alive that is. His behavior towards her daughters, her best friend/doll and all the things she loved post her demise was extremely awful)

Jack’s behaviour towards Lacie is never normal or healthy and is definitely creepy. But I don’t see how he’s abusive or a stalker. If anything id say one of the issues in their relationship was Jack was too much of a pushover who had such little respect for himself that he never had the will to truly fight for a bond that they both cherished because he just couldn’t see anything beyond. I can’t help but feel like labeling him as abusive in this stage of their relationship a bit cruel towards him and unsympathetic. And I love Lacie to the moon and back but I’ll be honest I do think she was abusive to Jack in this relationship. (I am in no way trying to demonize her for this that’s my babygirl and she’s been through a lot. But I think Jack’s feelings also matter here)

I don't think we talk a lot about how Lacie sexually assaulted Jack (COCSA) in their first interaction with one another. And then later goes onto encourage him to do sex work. And Jack listens.She purposely choose to talk to him as he was someone in a vulnerable position. (Homeless and abused) so that she could play with him. She gives him her earing and tells him to come and find her Do I think Lacie was serious when she was saying this? No. I don't think Lacie genuinely made plans to see Jack again. She was just simply fouling around. This encounter meant very different things for both of them. And for Jack it flipped his whole world on his head. He was shown love for the first time in his life and was encouraged to chase after it by that person so he did. While the efforts he goes to get her is concerning I feel like calling this stalker behavior gives a much different impression and also feels a bit unempathetic to me? And is also just incorrect. Jack spends 7 years trying to find Lacie under the impression that she to wanted this shown physically with the earring. Not 7 years watching her from afar. I think it's also worth noting Jack processed Lacie's love as maternal to an extent. She did things for him a mother should do for a child (give him food, cut his hair, give him life advice and orders, protect him from bad guys, hugs) I don't wanna go super in depth bc i'd love to make a whole analysis on Jack's feelings for Lacie but Lacie even makes this comparison herself

(And once again I wanna preface with I don't think Lacie owes Jack motherhood. In fact i'm very uncomfortable with viewing motherhood in a positive lens in regards to Lacie's arc as it felt like it was always something forced upon her to further abuse and mystify her. )

And the second time. Lacie once again is the one to ask Jack to see her again. (This time however out of genuine desire.) She makes the first move and suggest this of him

I think it's fair to say Jack would probably want to try to see her again after this as an alternative response to "What are you going to do now Jack?" But I feel like it's a bit up in the air/up to interpretation. Of course I 100% think he wants to see Lacie. But he to is scared of overstepping boundaries to an extent that damages their relationship. He doesn't answer his question to her saying "I want to see you again" "I'm going to see you again" "Can I see you again" It's "I don't know." Which I think you can also take as now that Jack has completed the only life goal he's made for himself he doesn't know what to do with himself. He could be hiding his want and desires to surprise her and see her but he has no reason to do that here. Levi also giving him the paper in this scene suggests Jack lacks the knowledge to come back on his own. Point is Lacie made the first move here and asked him to come back once again she's the one pushing things.

Lacie has power over Jack. She's the on with power over him because he was vulnerable towards her. I don't mean to demonize Lacie with this post and perhaps I focused too much of her flaws in the relationship but the main point I wanna make is I do feel like people are too hard on Jack in regards to how he acted in their relationship when she was alive. Unfairly antagonizing him when he's the bigger victim in this relationship.

[youremyheaven]

https://www.tumblr.com/youremyheaven/754446269650452480/they-dooo-notice-everything-i-love-it-sometimes

Jupiter women can lowkey be like this too. Idk about the Freud stuff, but jupiter is the husband. When their dad fails to display positive jupiter traits and becomes arrogant, withdrawn and selfish, they become their own dad. So they embody or atleast attempt to embody positive jupiter traits of generosity and virtue. Now that I’ve typed that out, it doesn’t sound as relevant as it did in my head 😭

However I do think that what OP was describing is more of a Bharani thing than anything else. I’m sure other venus naks do it too but still.

Bharani has major connotations to childbirth and so many women make sacrifices when they have children, some are forced to leave education, some develop long term health problems, and some struggle to leave difficult relationships since children complicate that kind of thing. Before medicine advanced it was somewhat common to just die entirely bc of childbirth.

So therefore I think a lot of Bharani natives (esp moon bc we’re talking about mothers) are overly aware of the sacrifice their mothers made and it weighs on them. It becomes their “burden” as the translation of Bharani, “she who bares” takes on a literal and metaphorical interpretation. So basically Bharanis like to acknowledge the people who came before them and their sacrifices but they can have a bit of a chip on their shoulder bc of it. Inheriting their karma in a sense.

So when they experience that humiliation from their abusive parent they “eat the pain” as part of the burden they bare. Fighting back will always lead to more suffering for them despite their anger and resentment (aries). In mythology Yama was about to kick his mom but even though he holds himself back, she still cursed his foot.

Yama’s father ☀️ ☀️ also got mad at his mother for struggling to look directly at him and cursed Yama as a result, which is such a good example of the dynamics their parents have and how they suffer from it.

In conclusion, Bharanis are stoics become pushovers with daddy issues. Sorry for the unsolicited lecture, it may happen again

Nahh you're right. Jupiter women and their daddy issues are well documented (by me lmao 🤣🤡) they do become excessively giving because their dad's weren't giving at all 😤

Jupiter is a masculine planet for a reason after all. Reminds me of Rekha, Purvabhadrapada Moon. She and her siblings were the illegitimate children of a famous actor and he never acknowledged them publicly. Her mom had many other kids from other relationships etc and they were dirt poor. Rekha even went to school with her father's legitimate kids and other kids in school knew about the whole situation and called her a bastard 🥺🥹

She started acting at the age of 13 to support her ailing mother and 6 or 7 siblings. She hated being an actor and was severely exploited in the industry, esp since she had no mentors or father figures :(((( in turn she made sure none of her siblings ever had to work in the movies to make a living and supported everyone financially until they settled down 🥺 she in turn never got married or had kids :((( (she was manipulated into marrying a guy once and he committed suicide and she was hella traumatized by that as well, but that's a separate story 💀)

Here's a pic of Rekha with some of her siblings (2 or 3 are missing in the picture)

She does embody that Jupiter woman being the man trope.

(This is Rekha & her mom Pushpavalli)

Despite everything, she's never spoken ill about her father or even her mother, who clearly made her the scapegoat and placed undue pressure on her to provide even though she was a literal child. She even named her house after her mother 🥺

Anywaayyyyyssss

I agree that Bharanis are in a unique position because of their mythology and in general I think Bharanis are more dignified and humane than other Venus naks

They're outcaste naks who know what it's like to be the outsider and work their way up

But yes they're pushovers with daddy issues 😭😭😭😭

I lowkey like how empathetic they are to women bc of what they saw growing up 😔😔 like they're genuinely just like "no this is not how it should be, women need to be worshipped period, my woman will never suffer this way" and ���🤧😩😩😩i fall for that shit lmao

I had a recent experience with a Jupiter conjunct Purvashada Rising man who thought that broke men did not deserve to have women 💀💀💀 he said men who cannot provide have no business dating or marrying 💀💀and that "real men" should never ask for a 50-50 and put the burden on his partner and if he truly loves her, he should want her to be relaxed and enjoy life. He said things like "what's the point of me working so hard if my family isn't enjoying themselves and having a good time, my wife can do whatever she wants and I'll support her but she will never have to work to pay the bills" and ngl I love this mentality lmfao 😂🤣🤪🤭

Venus men being scarred by incompetent dads and overcompensating by being the provider and father they never had is >>>>> 🥵🥵🥵🥵so sexy of them tbh

[antianakin]

@theneutralmime

I think there's probably NUMEROUS reasons fans have for disliking the Jedi.

I think some people might dislike them because before the Prequels came out there was this alternate perception of what the Jedi were/had been that was primarily dictated by Legends which seemingly based them far more on European Knights than anything else, something which clearly appealed to a lot of people and was familiar and fun as an archetype. People became, ironically, attached to this version of the Jedi that they'd grown up with and so when the Prequels came out and they were NOT in fact European Knights with laser swords and magic powers but Buddhist Monks with laser swords and magic powers, it was jarring. So I hear, at least. I had no concept of Legends and I saw the Prequels first anyway, but I'm told this was apparently jarring for people. So it's just a lot of "Well these aren't MY Jedi from my childhood" going on.

And adding to that, I think some people just disliked the Prequels as a whole and so one way to sort-of reinterpret the Prequels in such a way that they felt they could enjoy them more was to decide that their dislike of the Jedi was the intended reading of the film. It's not that they were misinterpreting it or that Lucas had somehow done it wrong, but that the Jedi being unlikable was the whole point. And this is the ONLY way they can see the Prequel films as enjoyable or worthwhile, so they're not going to accept any other explanation. Either the Jedi are supposed to be the bad guys and the films did exactly what they were meant to do, or the Jedi are supposed to be the good guys and the films failed because they didn't get that across TO THESE FANS.

And when you dislike something that much, it's VERY VERY DIFFICULT to turn that opinion around, even after you see other people make arguments on its behalf. As someone who has pretty strong negative opinions about things, I can speak to that from experience. I know people liked the Ahsoka show and even thought it was genuinely well-written and well-acted, I've seen some of their arguments for why they believe that. But none of those arguments are ever going to mean anything to me because my experience of it was so negative that I don't particularly WANT to like it or have my opinion changed. To me, it's just bad. I can't just force myself to understand it differently than I do at this point, even though I recognize other people don't share my opinion.

So some of those people who just had really negative experiences of the Prequel films and the way they depicted the Jedi might just be in a similar position. No amount of knowing other people interpreted it differently, no amount of arguments in defense of the Prequels and the Jedi, no amount of quotes by George Lucas, is every going to take away from the fact that these fans had a really negative experience with these films that will likely always color their opinions of them.

Some other arguments I've seen about why they dislike the Jedi in particular seem to stem primarily from their feelings about Anakin and the way his relationship with the Jedi was depicted in the films. Some of it might come from people having the hots for Anakin and so they just... don't care about anybody BUT him, but some seems to come more from how young Anakin is in TPM and the way it really changed their perspective on this character who had only ever been a villain prior to that film.

I think people saw the Council scene with this fairly small child in the middle of a room full of adults whose job it is to decide his future and really related to his fear and nervousness and defensiveness far more than they related to the Council being put into a difficult position and trying their best to be objective but not unkind. And while you are SUPPOSED to relate to Anakin here to some extent, you're also supposed to be able to recognize that just because Anakin's fears are valid doesn't mean the Council are wrong to see that he's not prepared for this life and that being a Jedi is likely not going to be the right path for him. That second part seems to elude a lot of people because all they see is a scared little boy and so they insist in the same breath that the Jedi stole Anakin away from his loving mother AND that they should've just let him join the Order no matter what. And so when Anakin starts making bad decisions and killing people and being arrogant, they don't blame Anakin for it, they don't trace it back to Anakin's mistrust and dishonesty, they just decide it was the Council's fault for not giving him everything he wanted immediately and causing him irreparable trauma as a result.

People also I think ended up relating a lot more to ADULT Anakin than they do to the Jedi because Anakin is INTENDED to be relatable, he's got all of the character flaws that are causing the entire story to happen, while the Jedi are primarily side characters who have completed their own character journeys and are now there just to guide others. They're the moral compass of the films, delivering many of their themes and messages, but they're not the HEART of the story the way Anakin is. I think this led to a lot of protagonist bias in some ways where they like Anakin and so they just proceeded to come up with every excuse under the sun for why he was right instead of understanding that even though Anakin was the main character and the heart of the story doesn't mean he's not also a cautionary tale of what NOT to do. That's truly it. It's a very long, very complicated fable for children about the consequences of selfishness and greed.

But people these days OFTEN feel like if they enjoy a character then they cannot also be problematic or do problematic things, so if they enjoy Anakin, despite all of the objectively horrific things that he does, then Anakin just cannot be the one at fault for it. It MUST be someone else's fault. And of course the opposite also ends up true where if someone dislikes a character, then they must come up with a reason for why they're problematic to explain it. And thus we also get the Jedi then becoming the scapegoat for Anakin's choices. They didn't like the Jedi, but they liked Anakin, so of course then Anakin was right and the Jedi wrong all along.

And more and more people who see the Prequels this way are the ones creating new Star Wars content, so we keep seeing more stories that emphasize this idea that the Jedi were wrong and Anakin was right. It's obviously in the Ahsoka show, it's in Rebels, it's in Tales of the Jedi, it's in the Cal Kestis video games, it's in the High Republic novels, it's definitely come up in several of the other Star Wars novels, it was (to some degree) in the Sequel Trilogy, and we know it's going to be in The Acolyte. And of course it's just VERY popular in the Star Wars fandom in general. Most fans aren't going to be looking up George Lucas quotes or watching his audio commentaries and researching what he meant by attachment, so they're just going to consume the content that's available and that content at this point is pretty consistently sending the message that the Jedi were wrong and Anakin was right. It's almost entirely inescapable these days. So I don't necessarily even blame most fans for being Jedi critical, I just personally can't stand it anymore.

[mckitterick]

Seek Wonder, Not Happiness

We have so many types of initiatives – self-help books, programs, and even careers – centered around achieving happiness. This is a problem, as it forces us to interpret our experiences through a single – often overrated – emotional lens.

In this video (full transcript at link), Monica Parker argues that we should instead should pursue wonder, which is neither wholly positive nor wholly negative.

Parker likens the feeling of wonder to watching a butterfly emerge from a chrysalis – it is beautiful, complex, and even a little scary. This profound mix of awe, curiosity, and fear, is something that, when achieved, can expand our resilience and deepen our interpretation of the world around us.

The key to wonder? Slowing down. She argues that tuning into our three types of “wonderbringers” – natural, social, and cognitive – and incorporating “slow thought” activities into our lives, can help us be more receptive to wonder and the benefits it provides.

Rather than single-mindedly pursuing happiness, we ought to instead fill our days with things that spark wonder and fuel our curiosity and passions, which can help us overcome emotional barriers and live truly fulfilling, wonder-full lives.

The foundation of speculative fiction (to my mind) is what has long been called "Sensawunda," the opening of doors in the reader's mind they didn't even know were there. Fiction that evokes this sense puts the reader in a position from which they can see humankind from a new perspective.

In fiction, the sense of wonder can lead to conceptual breakthroughs inspired through paradigm shifts or shifts in perspective - time, distance, fantastic worlds, vast or microscopic scales, the Other, and so forth - that lead the audience to see things and even themselves in a fresh light.

In life, this kind of perspective shift can open our minds to the wonders of the cosmos, from its most minute building blocks that shape matter itself to the hidden structure of the universe and beyond into the multiverse. Shifts in perspective are necessary to understanding the natural world as well - science rises from the foundation of sensawunda. Personally, this feeling reveals aspects of the human condition inaccessible to the self-centeredness that can be difficult to see beyond in our mundane lives.

As a child, this is what drew me to watching ant hives do their thing, to reading books about dinosaurs and astronomy, to buying my first telescope to explore the universe first-hand, and to forming a high school science club. Once I discovered it was a thing, seeking the sense of wonder drew me to reading science fiction, then writing it, and eventually teaching it.

Even if I wasn't aware of it, I think seeking the sense of wonder shaped my whole life - it's what brought me to Lawrence, Kansas, in 1992 to begin studying with SF Grand Master James Gunn, then to helping him run his SF Center for decades, and recently to forming the nonprofit Ad Astra Institute for Science Fiction & the Speculative Imagination (@adastra-sf here on Tumblr) to better focus on sharing the sensawunda with others, including helping writers do the same, creating as big a wave of sharing this sense with more people through the fiction my students write.

I hadn't thought of it as an alternative life-path to seeking happiness until reading Parker's piece, but she's onto something important. Happiness is elusive and fleeting, while sensawunda opens the mind and grows our individual universe.

If happiness is what you seek - or at least the absence of unhappiness or freeing yourself from the kind of emptiness that comes with depression or existential dread - seeking the sense of wonder is possibly your best path in life. And far more reliable than directly seeking nebulous "happiness."

Watch those bugs and imagine their lives. Watch birds fly and imagine how the air feels to them as they use it to control their world. Watch meteor showers and picture the billions of years those grains of comets have been orbiting the Sun. Study the layers of sediment laid down over millions of years and touch the fossilized remains of beings who lived long before humans walked this planet. Explore the human world to see new places and meet new people unlike those in your prior world. And, yes, read fiction that shifts your perspective like this wrapped in exciting and compelling narratives.

Open your world to new perspectives, open your mind, open your heart, and feel your soul soar on wings you didn't know you have. Seek the sense of wonder, not because it'll make you happy (though it might), but because you have no idea what you'll find.

And what you discover could be the most wonderful treasure in the universe.

[ladysternchen]

Alright. Now, this is gonna be long. And passionate. And the second rant I've written in an unusually short time. But today, I just about reached breaking-point.

Why the hell does the Silm-fadom do to Elu Thingol what it does to Elu Thingol. To be fair, it's not solely him, Elwing gets it far worse (what for????), but that's a post of its own. No, honestly. What the fuck is going on in the minds of people who demonise one character so much while totally glossing over EVERY character fault of others?

Now, don't get me wrong, as much as he is my favourite character in all I ever read or watched in my life, I know full well that Elu's no saint. He makes terrible mistakes, and he behaves at times in ways that make me want to forget that he's my fave. I also admit to reading/interpreting him a little differently from most people in the fandom (you know, being autistic sometimes comes with having a different view on people's motives and behaviours), but my opinions and headcanons are still canon-based. That's kind of the beauty of the Silmarillion with its very shallow character-descriptions, that it allows for various interpretations. That some are more apologetic than others is a result of that, and what in truth makes this fandom so very interesting. So being critical towards him is not at all what I am ranting about here.

But there is a difference between being critical and demonising.

I read a fic today that honestly shocked me to the core. And just in case author should come across this post and recognise their work in this text, please know that I am in no way criticising your story- on the contrary, it was a very good read, I found Elu as the narrating character to be hugely in character and perhaps in other circumstances, I would have quite liked it. I would have written that to you directly on AO3, but I know that critical comments are usually not well-received, and I also really didn't want to pester you about it. After all, it's don't like don't read. So to cut this short, my problem lies NOT with the fic, but with the reactions to it. And it really only was the final straw.

AND, had it been intended as a parody on fanon regarding Elu Thingol , it would have been spot-on as spot-on can be. It was basically saying that each and every thing that went wrong in FA was Elu Thingol's fault. The second and third kinslaying his fault, the deaths amongst the Noldor his fault and so on. And he drew the appropriate conclusions at the end. For which he was called a coward in the comments. And the thing is, that story is fanon on him in a nutshell. The Noldor are always depicted as the victims. And while I'm totally fine with that, be the fuck as apologetic to all characters, fandom.

Like, I'm totally fine with excusing the actions of the Noldor by mental health or just mistakes made or curiosity or hot-temper or a specific view on things. Yeah, great. Compassion is such an important element in all Tolkien's works that I am always in favour of displaying it also in the fandoms concerning his legendarium. But you can't just do it on one people. You can't depict Maedhros as the tragic hero while at the same time condemning Elu Thingol for naming the Silmaril in a flash of impulsivity, when he was telling Beren to begone. Yes, that was idiotic, yes, he was in the wrong there, yes, what happened after was totally a result of that mistake. But still I daresay that he was punished for that in the most terrible way possible, which was the death, the ultimate death, of his only child.

You cannot pass over the Noldor invading Elu's lands and then claim that the ban on Quenya -a language that had by then already been replaced with Sindarin in mixed settlements because Sindarin was easier for the Noldor to learn than Quenya was to the Sindar and Nandor- is cultural genocide.

you can't claim that the kinslayings were caused by Elu and Dior and Elwing's refusal to hand over the Silmaril, that they positively forced the Fëanorians' hands, and at the same be very understanding about the dwarves murdering Elu (yeah, he insulted them, is was an absolute arsehole there, but that still is no excuse for murder)

You can't go saying how the Oath drove the sons of Fëanor to all their actions and then be convinced that what made the Silmaril such a trap for Elu to be nothing but greed.

And just so I make my point completely clear, I am all for being apologetic. About Fëanor and his sons, about Eöl, about the smiths of Nogrod, be apologetic about Sauron and Morgoth even if you can find that in canon for yourself, or if you just happen to feel those characters. Be open and curious about the apologies other people have for their favourite characters. But apply those rules to ALL characters.

Honestly, please stop. Please, if you want to hate Elu, to which of course everyone is entitled, hate him for what he canonically does. Don't make up stories about him just to make him look worse. You know, you can love your faves without having to demonise others.

And please, if you need to vent your feelings about Elu Thingol... tag it as such. It's so so so annoying to try and find content about your character and then get nothing but bashing or the same half-truth repeated again and again and again without further evaluation.

(Even better, stop hating all around. Yeah, it's just fictional characters. But you know, courtesy to the internet, real people look a whole lot like fictional characters. Judging, demonising, bashing, scapegoating, that all works on real people (or peoples!) just like it works on fictional characters. And the trouble is, real people might react in real life just as Elu reacted in the aforementioned fanfic and take their own life. Only that in real humans, dead is dead.)

[1010ninetynine]

a masterpost of what i consider gay subtext in Uramichi Onii San - the Manga

not the Anime quite yet. no offense Touko Machida but I simply do not want to deal with two interpretations of the work at this point in time.

Generally Kinda Romantic Subtext Between Certain Characters that I Think Can Be Interpreted Either Way

Uramichi and Usahara I cite this for the near telepathic communication. Say what you will - married couples are known for this shit - and while it's definitely not anywhere close to confirmed that these two characters have strong feelings for each other, imo this was pretty gay of them. But to put it one way - are you really friends if people don't mistake you for a gay couple at times? imo not really.

additionally, while it might be just beginning chapter art...tell me where our favorite bunny is looking? Is he being respectful?

(honestly i do think usahara is straight but yk...this mangaka likes his gay men pathetic methinks so there is a chance!)

2. Uramichi and Iketeru

back when iketeru was in hs and uramichi's age isn't given - but i think they're the same age? anyway the lyrics over this scene are just...gay as hell. And they're helping a child find their mom. That is married couple behavior.

(obviously could just be a joke/not intended. their relationship is literally a gag on not understanding each other because iketeru is too happy for uramichi)

3. Kumatani and Iketeru

there's also some somewhat strong subtext between kumatani and iketeru. Like first, kumatani was the first guy who got the weird shirt iketeru found.

and next, the constant protection of iketeru from alcohol is courtesy of kumatani our mvp

he even protects him from our favorite loser

while not as extreme as his protection of HACHITA THE BABY it is still noticeable that Iketeru is someone he cares about.

and both kumatani and iketeru hid their love life from the camera (as did the whole cast hehe). Kumatani literally says his love life isn't family friendly - which can mean a lot of things, including that he's homosexual. Iketeru says it's too beautiful to be shared - which can mean anything really, even that he's straight and had a normal love life that he ain't willing to share.

Imo this sequence of behaviors can be read one of two ways. First of all, you'd have to be blind to not see the obvious resemblance between Iketeru and Hachita, so the affection and thus acceptance of strange gifts due to their similarity is natural. But also...gay? Hmmmmmmmmmm

4. Uramichi and Kumatani

They kind of just hang out a lot, and Kumatani regularly reads more positivity in Uramichi than is probably there. Not really as showstoppingly romantic as the other three examples of subtext, but imo still quite a nice bit of fun in its own right. They're probably the ship easiest to imagine writing besides kumatani and iketeru and my personal favorite but before we get to that...

The Predatory Gay Man I Must Mention For The Completionist In Me

ok look. homophobic caricature he may be. but i said I would catalog all gay subtext in uramichi and imo on this website gay subtext include gay text (hxh moment) and capellini furitsuke is in fact. gay. and a horrible predatory man the likes of which rival your worst coworker. And probably beat him.

he torments the men around him and forces them to engage in behavior they're not interested in. i cite here usahara and saito's mistreatment but there might be more I missed.

like you can't describe capellini's behavior as anything but horrid and disgusting. i'll call uramichi onii san many things - particularly pro-lgbt in terms of rep isn't close. Still love it in general - and I'm pretty sure the author himself is gay given the ludicrous amount of male character thirst traps he draws - but i don't think he likes that about himself tbqh. But I don't really know him - just go on his twitter now and then.

Finally, the moment I've been waiting for but you all don't realize is coming maybe idk

Uramichi and Kikaku - a mostly one sided love story

This relationship isn't so much implied as it is easily ignorable yet true: it is obviously intended to be read as a love story of sorts, whether it be a gag about how lonely uramichi is and how he needs some emotional connection, or just plain 'he's gay'. This is literally the only guy who gets the door to Uramichi's heart regularly attempting to open treatment, let alone the fact that when Kikaku begs Uramichi to help him out with work he always agrees...maybe more so due to fear than genuine care but still.

there's probably more examples, but these are enough to prove my point imho

he also invites Kikaku to the first end of year party (there aren't any others at the time of writing, specifying in the case of a reader from the future)...or attempts to. Not to Saito Uebu or any other staff member - perhaps because he expects the ones he's closer to already be there, but still - specifically the guy who's only ever bothered him to help complete his work. It's what being horrifically lonely and dick brained does to you (i would know that best).

which leads to yet ANOTHER HEART DOOR SCENE THING

so uh yeah. uramichi's constant giving in to kikaku i think makes more sense if we consider the (slight) romantic inclination he ""might"" have for him.

BONUS: Uramichi and Utano had a moment that was pretty cute but not enough to qualify as subtext in my eyes because they kind of have no chemistry in canon so i still get to title this gay subtext but I also like them

[so-i-grudgingly-joined-this-site]

Dream-Killing Bitches, Evil Exes, and Bad Moms: Portrayals of Women in "The Kindly Ones"

So, I've been attempting to write a more formal meta about this for months, but I've not gotten it to ever gel properly, so I thought I'd share my thoughts more informally here.

COMICS SPOILERS AHEAD

Basically, there is something really weird about how women are treated in The Kindly Ones arc of The Sandman.

The semi-official guidebook "Sandman: King of Dreams" basically called The Kindly Ones a #GirlPower arc, but I don't find much particularly empowering about it. Lyta literally goes insane from the stress of being a single mother, albeit exacerbated by supernatural forces. Thessaly is a TERF bitch who serves the role of "spiteful ex" to the protagonist. Nuala is passive and sad and ultimately just pushed around by the whims of the men around her, and when she finally makes a choice of her own it kills the person she cared about. Rose's quarter-life crisis is miraculously "solved" by an unplanned pregnancy. Chantal and Zelda die of AIDS. Even the unstoppable Furies are ultimately a tool in a man's orchestrated suicide-by-magical-cop.

Maybe this is a leftover from when the books were written? Maybe this was the epitome of feminism in the 90s? Or maybe the guide was meaning that the women were powerful as in LITERALLY powerful...women sure do wield a lot of deadly strength and magic in this, even if none of them are particularly EMpowered, if you catch my meaning.

There's also layers as to how we're supposed to interpret this in relation to Morpheus, our doomed protagonist. I've written previously about how we might be intended to see him as an unsympathetic misogynist. If that's the case, then perhaps his doom at the hands of multiple female forces is supposed to be karmic and positive, no matter how questionable those women are. Support for this interpretation is the myth the old ladies (a manifestation of the Kindly Ones?) tell Rose, wherein a deceptive man who abuses and kills his wife meets a karmic comeuppance at the hands of his magically transformed daughters and resurrected wife.

There's also the fact that Overture reveals that Morpheus has MASSIVE issues with his mother. If one decides not to interpret Morpheus's death as a suicide, there is the possible alternate explanation that he frankly underestimated Lyta's threat level to him. Having never experienced a mother's unconditional love, he couldn't fathom that a mother could love her kid enough to literally go insane and kill gods over them.

But even as motherhood is a negative path to stress, insanity, and threatening the fabric of the universe, it's also VERY uncomfortably presented as a cure-all. Rose only gets her heart back by getting knocked up, and we're supposed to see Lyta's suggestion of an abortion as further continuance of Lyta's madness. But of all people, Lyta knows what she's talking about! She knows how difficult single motherhood is! She was going mad even before supernatural intervention... In fact, multiple sequences in The Kindly Ones make it ambiguous what elements are supernatural and what are just her mind interpreting mundane signs as godly while cracking under realistic stress!

This goes outside of the arc I chose to focus on, but I also can't help but contrast the two lesbian couples: Foxglove and Hazel vs. Chantal and Zelda. Foxglove and Hazel end up on the path of traditional motherhood, down to having to choose a child over a career, despite being lesbians! Meanwhile, Chantal and Zelda, as mentioned, die horribly of AIDS. The paths for women are motherhood, tragedy, madness, or some combination thereof.

I'd almost say that the ultimate message of The Kindly Ones regarding women is "no matter what type of woman you are, things will go horribly for you, you cannot win, and no matter what you are at the whim of a violent patriarchal system. The closest you can come to 'winning' is unfortunately by playing into the male-POV fantasy of devoted motherhood." But. like. that was DEFINITELY NOT THE INTENDED WRITTEN MESSAGE. BUT THAT IS THE MESSAGE THAT RESULTS.

Forget asking if Morpheus is a misogynist, the NARRATIVE ITSELF of The Kindly Ones pushes misogyny more than any individual character does!

tagging those who I know like discussing/reading meta:

@serenityspiral @orionsangel86 @violetoftheendless @duckland @notallsandmen

[pinksilvace]

Fern guides their mutuals and followers through Cats 1998 as if we're all sitting on the same couch watching it and I'm shouting out stuff (4/?)

MASTERPOST

Character Wiki Pages

On to Bustopher!

8: Bustopher Jones

Everybody is SO MEAN about Bustopher Jones (joking). I love him so much but nowadays when numbers are cut his is usually one of them since he usually shows up once and disappears 🥲

The actor for Bustopher sometimes dons a chorus costume for the opening number, often named Peter. They're also usually the actor who plays Gus later, as both Bustopher and Gus traditionally had operatic moments in the show.

Tom Hooper clearly did not know how to interpret media because could you IMAGINE 2019 Bustopher cleaning up his appearance as a first impression???

When I was little, I was under the impression that Bombalurina, Jenny, and Jellylorum all liked Bustopher Jones in similar ways; it wasn't until I started interacting with the fandom on here that I learned how some people interpret Bombalurina as being completely sarcastic in this song. Art's always up to interpretation, of course, and that's the fun of it, but I never really got that impression, even with Rosemarie Ford's eye rolls. To me, this moment shows Bombalurina as a character that can show others respect. It also cements her as being at the older end of the "not-old" adults.

This is YET ANOTHER song that is PERFECT for examining whatever Pouncival is getting up to at a given moment. I am once again saying that the Pouncival cut in this show is the most fun

Subsequently, this is also the "Skimbleshanks is three wrong moves away from a panic attack" song, which to me means that he respects Bustopher just as much as Jenny does. I like to think that they grew up together.

(For an incredibly anxious Skimble, here's Boston 2007; skip to 28:30):

(While I'm at it, there's this part in Moscow 2005 when the boys are all lined up like they're going to take a family photo, and I think it's very silly and cute; skip to 27:45)

Have you ever watched Cats (1998) and wondered who that cat that's really excited to see Bustopher is? That's George. The George Cut (TM) is probably my second favorite version of '98, after The Pouncival Cut (TM).

No doubt, you'll notice the number of Mistoffelees & Bustopher moments in this number. This is probably where the most popular headcanon about Bustopher originates: lots of us like to think he's an uncle, usually in conjunction with monochromatic siblings (Misto & Victoria & sometimes Alonzo)(Alonzo is like. Y as a vowel). I've also seen some folks frame him as Misto's dad, and in those cases, Misto is usually an only child.

Slightly off-topic, but my friend @thepineconelord likes to think of Mistoffelees as butler-core, and I think they're especially correct in this number.

(Yet another side note: the monochromatic siblings staging is a bit stronger in post-US Revival choreography, especially between Alonzo and Misto. Head to 30:00)(<- pretending to see things that supports the tunnel vision)

(Is it obvious yet that I've watched this number, specifically, many times?)

Okay I only just noticed this one but WHAT is up with Plato in this part. This picture doesn't do nearly enough justice to his posing but. My dude are you okay??? He was built to have an arm slung over the back of a park bench and instead he's here and forced to harmonize

The rare moment when Mistoffelees is peeved by Pouncival (and the altogether common moment where Munkustrap is also peeved by Pouncival)

One incredibly interesting thing about this number is that it's one of the most gendered numbers in the whole show, speaking from a choreography standpoint. When I was younger, I thought it came from a position of "all of the girls have crushes so they're all fangirling together," but that's not true. Only Jenny is shown to have a crush, and Coricopat, George, and Skimbleshanks could all very easily start fanboy-ing with them.

What is it, then? Is it because Bustopher presents as a much more "traditional" character than the rest? Do the things they're describing about him ascribe to him a certain level of masculinity that he can only share with the boys? Are these formations all part of some sort of militaristic protocol? Leading from that, is his appearance at the Ball (and approval) a right of passage thing for the boys? It's not something I've really seen anybody touch on, which is odd to me, because Cats in general tends to have interesting messages re: gender roles, especially with Mistoffelees, who obviously shares some sort of close connection with Bustopher! GILLIAN LYNNE REVEAL YOUR SECRETS

The cats know what golf is. Either that, or Bustopher saw a rich person play it, decided to copy them, and everybody else is amazed for his benefit.

[allthefujoshiunite]

Hi, Nora....My friend and I made a list of ace and aro characters from BL, and then we get to Love For Sale. We think Sieon is aro, based on he never regret his previous relationships until he is with Namwoo. And how he felt so indifferent about them. But what do you think? Also, do you have any BL characters that you think are ace or aro?

Great question! And thank you for giving me a chance to talk about Sieon. I'm always happy to do so. If you want the tl;dr answer, I don't consider him to be one. However, as is always the case on Wild Wild Web when you express a thought or preference, people take it as me condemning all the other thoughts/preferences. So here's a PSA: if you consider him Aro, good for you! You can interpret him however you like.

Also, lots and LOTS of spoilers for the uninitiated.

As for how I read his character. I think Sieon is hard to understand for a lot of people because they expect him to be either this or that and try to put him into categories he doesn't fully belong in. It's one of the reasons why I'm so enamored with Love for Sale as a whole, and Sieon in particular. Dal Hyeonji, even though this is their first commercial BL work, does an absolutely fantastic job in this character study.

Back to the point. When the story was still being released, I entertained a similar idea myself about him that, maybe he's demiromantic. Not a romance-aversed aromantic, but still a part of the spectrum. Then I kind of abandoned that as well.

We are a melting pot of our environments, cultural codes, family, and our characteristics. That's why most of the time, it's hard to make out whether you've become something due to some external force or you were that something before anything else. A very lame example would be, do I find red lipstick sexy because I find it arousing, or is it because it was marketed in such a way that I am conditioned to think it's sexy? Similarly, it's not always easy to tell apart whether your feelings are genuine, you feel like you have to feel certain ways towards certain people, or something impacted you in such a way that you don't feel a certain way anymore. I know I'm being vague but hopefully, it'll make more sense now.

Sieon, having to shoulder her mother's emotional well-being and their reversed parent-child roles, has found himself in a position where he seeks gratification through the things he can provide to his partners so he can feel 'needed'. The comfort he can provide for his partner becomes his purpose to be in that relationship. I was throwing him bombastic side-eyes very early into the story where he never expressed any type of preference and was very evasive whenever Namwoo tried to probe. Naturally, it was quite frustrating for Namwoo. As for me, it was as if Sieon was trying to erase himself from the relationship and be there for Namwoo as a combination of 'bank account + lips to kiss + a hand to hold' and blend into the ether as a person.

That's also why his relationships ended the way they did. He knew his mom wasn't happy, and even if he tried to alleviate her pain, it ultimately didn't work, thus, the one last good deed he could do for his mom was to let her go. To not be greedy. To not be selfish and say "I need you, don't go." This is the root of his letting go of his exes 'too easily', rather than him not 'loving' his partners.

Here's where things get tricky. Ideally, a romantic relationship requires you to be vulnerable, communicative, diplomatic, etc. Ideally. But none of us are exempt from carrying our baggage with us into the next relationship, no matter how big or small. In that sense, should we say that just because Sieon hasn't been perfectly vulnerable or has been avoiding conflict, he was never in a real relationship before? I don't think we can. 

One of the moments my heart ached for him was during his conversation with his close friend. He reiterates it later on when they're having the talk with Namwoo, but he desperately tries to convey that, no matter what his partners felt, whether they were satisfied on their own account or not, he was always genuine. Has always been. It may not fit the mold of grandiose, shouting-from-the-mountaintops, I'd-swallow-a-sword-for-you kind of love we are constantly sold in the romance genre, but that doesn't mean he isn't capable of love either. On the contrary, I think he does look for romantic companionship, but he just doesn't know how not to intellectualize his feelings.

So, in my opinion, "he didn't love anyone else before Namwoo" is not exactly the correct way to read him. Up until Namwoo decided that he was going to hold onto Sieon and 'show him a selfish love' in Sieon's mom's words, their relationship was following the pretty much same direction as the others. At first, Namwoo is content with what Sieon provides, but then he develops feelings for him and expects Sieon to return them in a way he can't. The same old story that is bound to end with a break-up.

Emphasis on 'in a way he couldn't'. The way I read it, his way of loving is different from what others deem as 'romantic love', so he's convinced that he can't reciprocate others' feelings. If that's love, and his feelings don't look like that, then he must not be in love after all. And when Namwoo shows Sieon that it's okay to be needy and selfish at times, and it's okay to be vulnerable and honest, we see that was the wake-up call he needed all along. 

The verdict? If you consider his past partners through the "he wasn't able to genuinely love them" lens and interpret his "not being able to reciprocate romantic feelings" literally, you can think of him as an aromantic who's not really averse to dating. But as I've tried to elaborate, rather than not feeling romantic love, he does feel love and seek companionship but doesn't know how to handle conflict and can't break free from the behavioral patterns ingrained in him in childhood. 

About aro/ase characters in BL. There's only one work that comes to mind which, interestingly, makes asexuality/demisexuality one of the core themes it explores and that's This is Love by Ziki Masaya. I have reviewed it before (click me) and I highly recommend it! I can maybe mention Sangwoo from Semantic Error, but then again, I think he's just autistic and his approach to romantic love for another guy is different from his normie boyfriend Jongchan because of that. I can't really think of any other works with Aro/ace characters as there's always romance/sex involved. Or maybe I just haven't paid enough attention! Let me know about the list you two came up with ~

PSA: I added the intro because the original link needs you to login to Lezhin as it's a Mature title, but you know the drill. Read on the official platfrorms!

[celticcrossanon]

BRF Reading - 11th of January, 2023

This is speculation only.

Cards drawn on the 10th of January, 2023

Question: What will be the end result of this (book and interviews) for Harry?

Sorry for dodgy formatting, this is copied and pasted to get it up while tumblr is working for me!

Interpretation: His wrongdoings will be exposed and there will be messages to him from England.

Card One: The Six of Cups, reversed.

The Six of Cups is the card of childhood, the past, nostalgia for the past. Reversed, it means you are living in the past, or you are not seeing the past properly, or you have cut yourself off from the past.

The energy from this card is that Harry is living in his past, but it is a past that he is not remembering clearly. He is seeing it the way he wanted it to be, not the way it was. Some things are glossed over and other things are magnified out of proportion to their importance at the time. Harry's view of his past is a distorted one, and it is that distorted view of the past that he is wrapping around himself and inhabiting each day instead of putting it in the past, where it belongs, and living in the present.

Card Two: The Seven of Swords, reversed.

The Seven of Swords is the Thief card, the card of illegal or criminal activity, and when it is reversed, you are found out. it can also be a card of self deception when it is reversed. Both those energies are coming through here.

Harry is deceiving himself. He is living in a made up world and not in reality, and he is telling other people about his made up world as if it was the truth in his book and in his interviews. He is going to be found out, and this has already started with people noticing the inconsistencies and outright lies in what he says.

However, being found out is not going to stop Harry from telling his version of events, instead he is going to sink deeper into his self delusions and insist that they are the truth. One of the keywords for this card when reversed is maliciousness, and I think that Harry is going to be more and more openly malicious as he retreats into his fantasy world.

The card shows an armed man sneaking into a city under the cover of night. The energy of the card is that the man is caught, thrown out of the city, and then he returns to try again, is caught again, thrown out with more force, and he returns yet again, is caught again, returns again, is caught again, and this repeats ad infinitum. Each time the man is caught he becomes more determined to succeed in his task by doing exactly the same thing all over again.

Card Three: The Page of Pentacles.

This is my card for England, and that is the energy I am getting from this card (my apologies to Scotland, Ireland and Wales - I know you are part of the UK, however this card says England to me).

Pages are messages, so there will messages from England for Harry. Pentacles are about money and status, so the messages will be about money and status in some way. Pages can also be children, especially earth sign children (Archie, Charlotte and Louis), so the messages may be about one or more of these children, or the child/children may be the reason or part of the reason for the message. The messages feel like they will come from his family (both as family and as rulers) and perhaps the government as well.

As this card is a minor arcana card it is likely that these messages will be delivered privately and not made public.

Card Four: The Chariot, reversed.

The Chariot is the card of going forward, of moving directly to your goal. reversed, it says you are blocked. Harry will be stuck in place, unable to go forward and accomplish his goals (whatever they really are).

The Charioteer drives two horses, the light and the dark, and it is their control of both these horses that lets them move forward. The horses represent our positive and negative attributes and are sometimes called desire and willpower, When one or both of the horses breaks out of their control, both horses go off in different directions and the chariot is overturned. This is what happens when the card is in the reverse. In this case, I feel that Harry's desires and his overindulgence of those desires have increased the strength of one horse at the expense of the other, and the result is an overturned chariot, the horses taking off in different directions, and Harry going nowhere.

The Chariot can be a card of travel and in this case, when it is reversed, the travel is not happening and you are stuck in the same spot. As it comes after my card for England, Harry may find that his plans to travel to England are blocked or stopped somehow.

The Chariot is the card of Cancer, the sun sign of Prince William. In reverse, it indicates two things: firstly, that Harry is trying to put Prince William into a reverse position, as we have seen by his attempts to damage Prince William's reputation, and secondly, that Prince William is done with Harry and will no longer be there for Harry in the future. Their childhood connection has been cut and Prince William is through with Harry.

The picture shows the war god Ares driving the chariot. The reversal shows that Harry's attempts to wage war on the BRF, his father, his brother, and other family members will not work. The attempt will not go anywhere. It is stuck in one spot, just like the chariot in reverse is.

Underlying Energy One: The Ten of Cups.

The Ten of Cups is the happy ever after card, the card of emotional satisfaction, happiness, and joy, especially with your family and/or your romantic partner. Harry thinks that he has the perfect romance and the perfect family. He is living his dream, being the hero and protecting his vulnerable family (in his mind). Cups is the suit of emotions, so all of Harry's responses and input into this situation are powered by his emotions (Cups as the underlying energy). We know that this is an illusion, but to Harry it is his reality. He can not understand why other people can't see how perfect Meghan is and how wonderful his life is. His rose coloured glasses are locked firmly in place and he will fight to preserve his image of how things are, however much reality tries to tell him otherwise.

Underlying Energy Two: The Five of Cups, reversed.

The Five of Cups is a card of sorrow, grief, and loss, particularly of close family members with this card. Reversed, it is the opposite - recovery from loss and grief, acceptance, and moving on. Harry thinks that this is his situation. He thinks that he has recovered from the past and the grief of his mother's death, and he thinks that he has moved on and is now in a healthy and loving relationship. Again, this is thinking powered by his emotions (the suit of Cups) and not reality. We can all see that he has not dealt with his grief over the loss of his mother and is a deeply damaged and somewhat delusional man, but for Harry he is the sane and healthy one, and everyone else are just 'haters' who are trying to bring him down and/or don't want what is best for him. He is blind to the pain he is causing others and he may even think that they are the ones lost in grief and dwelling in the past, while he is the one who has moved on, when in fact the opposite is true.

Conclusion.

Harry is delusional, and he is clinging to his delusions with everything he has. He is lost in the version of the past that he has created in his mind and he lives in this past every day. He is powered and motivated by his emotions. He believes that he is healed of his grief from his mother's death and that he has a loving wife and a picture perfect family that he must protect at all costs.

As a result of his book and his interviews, Harry's wrongdoings will be exposed. This will have the effect of driving him deeper into his delusions as he repeats the same actions over and over again, believing that this time the outcome will be different. He is powered by his emotions so his current 'truth' will be whatever he feels at that time, and that may change from hour to hour (as we can see in his interviews).

Harry will be receiving some sort of messages from England, most likely from the BRF and/or maybe the government. The messages are most likely to be about money and/or status and may concern children, his own or others, in some way. They are more likely to be private messages than public ones.

Harry's final position will be one of being stuck. He won't be able to travel or move from his position. He will be stuck because he has failed to keep both sides of his nature, the positive and the negative/the rational and the irrational/ his willpower and his unbridled desires in balance, so one side will rear up and overturn him. His acts of war against his family and everyone else he has hurt in his book will fail. Finally, he will lose whatever support and sympathy his brother has left for him. Prince William is done with Harry on a personal level (i.e. he may still want Harry to be safe and receiving help, but he no longer views Harry as part of his family, and for a Cancerian that is one of the worst things they can say to you).

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

Hello! It has been fun reading all the different theories and directions chapter 7 can take as well as your thoughts on it! I was also surprised that Lilia announced his departure so soon, and while so far I am personally inclined to believe him about his powers fading due to age, I do wonder if Lilia could be testing Malleus in some way or teaching him a life lesson. Death is a natural part of life, and with the long lifespan of the fae, Malleus is bound to deal with the loss of loved ones/people in general 😔, especially as the next ruler. Lilia could be testing how Malleus reacts to loss as it could be an issue when he takes the crown. That being said, I don't think that Lilia is trying to induce an overblot (but well, who knows haha), but rather highlight the fact that life is not permanent (even for fae) and this cannot be changed (probably), and therefore life and time spent together should be treasured.

Personally, I believe that part of why Malleus is in school is to forge connections but also possibly to learn how to say goodbye (when he graduates), and to treasure the time spent together with peers even if they are not permanent. This is just my interpretation, but Malleus appears to struggle with perceiving time and living in the present moment. As such, he occasionally misses out on opportunities to bond with others or connect with the world. This is likely because he is fae but Lilia does not appear to struggle as much regarding this, so there could be other reasons 🤔. He doesn't appear to value time as much as others do (e.g. dismissing 3 months of internship because it's too short) which is understandable, but I think is something he should value more especially because life is not permanent. So maybe the life lesson Lilia could be imparting to Malleus is that people will come and go and that should be accepted, but it shouldn't stop him from genuinely connecting with others because it will make life better, even if it is more painful.

Sorry for the long ask haha but anyways it's all just opinions/possibilities! I'm very excited to see how the story goes from here. Have a nice day!

I agree with a lot of the points you brought up, Anon! I feel like a lot (and I mean a lot) of the upset surrounding Lilia leaving is because people expect a found family or a close knit group of friends (like Diasomnia) to always be comfy and together. Unfortunately, this is not the case. Part of being a family or being friends is also weathering through the tough times together, even if it is painful in the moment.

Many often forget that sometimes Lilia’s way of teaching a lesson or letting a secret out can be very callous. He was, of course, insensitive to the worry he caused Silver and Sebek while pulling off the prank in Endless Halloween Night, and did not gracefully divulge the truth of Silver’s human heritage to him when initially asked about it (Lilia just went, “Oh, you didn’t notice our ears were different until now?”). Lilia is also notably stern and sharp-tongued when scolding others (ie Leona in episode 2). And remember how hardcore his training was for young Silver and Sebek? Lilia can be so much harsher than he initially appears to be. It is for this reason that it’s possible that his departure is to encourage those remaining in Diasomnia to learn to stand on their own. All three of them are representative of the future of the Briar Valley and of Lilia’s hopes for peace between the races—the future king, a human able to bridge the difference between fairies and non-fairies, and a mixed child of a fairy and a human. But they can’t fully realize their own potentials if they keep leaning on Lilia for support. It’s could be like a case of “touch love”/“if you love them, let them leave the nest” (except it’s Lilia leaving in this case to force their hands).

I think Malleus is specifically in a position where it will be difficult for Lilia to get through to him. His entire existence has been a lonely and isolating one, and it’s hard to get the socially awkward Malleus to open up to others or to have peers approach him due to his overwhelming aura and power. His distorted sense of time also doesn’t help with this, as it leads Malleus to drastically over or underestimating the time he has (ie he mistakes Vil’s magical aging as the result of more time passing than he had perceived, he often misses meetings because he mixed up the date/time, he believes the internship periods are “too short” to learn anything substantial, etc). He cannot enjoy the present moment because (to him) it slips away so fast, and he has an several centuries ahead of him. Now is nothing. Malleus does not value time because he has so much of it left; this is why Lilia’s words strike him at the end of episode 6: others may have life spans far shorter than theirs, but they can still come together to forge strong bonds in the short time that they have. “We live among such creatures, Malleus.” There is value in the quality of time spent together, not just the length of it—that is what Lilia is trying to express to Malleus, who will eventually outlive his classmates.

Lilia has had the worldly experiences and the age to fuel his understanding of the flow of time and how to live peacefully with other creatures, but Malleus has not—and those things cannot easily be taught, and certainly not in the time span of a few years of schooling. This is likely why Lilia goes out of his way to push Malleus to act outside of his comfort zone and to live his school life to its fullest, to go out and talk to people, to journey to new places and to steep himself in other cultures. He wants Malleus to have those enriching experiences because experience is the best teacher.

It is pointed out by the students of NRC that they don’t understand why someone as powerful and as important as Malleus is wasting his time with school. This is also something that Leona mentions in regards to himself; what could they possibly hope to learn from school? They can afford the best private tutors and resources without so much as glancing in the direction of the school grounds. But that’s just it: it’s the social experience of being surrounded by peers and interacting with them, having to work together with them, hearing from all walks of life. These cannot be gained in isolated self study. It’s also true that the negative experiences associated with those things cannot be had outside of school. The good and the bad are a part of life, and Malleus needs to become accustomed to it if he is to become a well-rounded and wise adult like Lilia.

The connections he makes and the good-byes that come with them… they’re important parts of growing up. Even if it hurts now, it’s meant to make you stronger in the long run.

(I’m not saying this is Lilia’s canonical reason for leaving so soon, but that it aligns with Lilia’s philosophy that we know of so far. It isn’t completely out of character for Lilia to announce his departure and to entrust his boys with the future while he is away.)

[tarnishedxknight]

FFXII Week ~ Day 4 Prompt: "I won my freedom. Yet my past has been cut away forever."

{out of dalmasca} Disclaimer: This post may include canon-divergent interpretations of canon characters, info about OCs featured on this blog, and AUs that may not align with the canon plot/characters of FFXII and/or may contain triggering material.

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This quote was spoken to Mjrn by Fran, but its concept can be applied to several other characters in FFXII. It plays into a common and prominent theme of the game, that of one's identity, and how it can be related to or affected by one's past. Let's discuss how some characters have found freedom, whether long-term or temporary, total or personal, by cutting ties with their past and thus, their former identities.

Fran

Fran left the Wood and gained freedom to go anywhere she wished, but lost her people and culture in the process. She was forced to cut ties with her former life, and we're never fully told the reason why. Either she was forced out for a significant reason, or she had strong personal reasons for wanting to leave. Returning briefly with Ashe & Co. as part of their journey to help Ashe reclaim her throne, Fran is confronted with a crisis involving her sister, Mjrn. When Mjrn expresses a desire to also leave the Wood permanently and to go with Fran, Fran responds with:

"I have discarded Wood and village. I won my freedom. Yet my past has been cut away forever. No longer can my ears hear the Green Word. This solitude, you want, Mjrn?"

It is clear that, since she doesn't decide to stay (even if she would have been permitted to), Fran still stands by her decision to leave. However, it is just as clear that there are regrets that come along with that decision, and that sacrifices had to be made for her to leave the Wood and her people.

Balthier

Leaving his father and Archadia, Balthier gained the freedom to decide his own profession and destiny in life, but had to change his name and break from his family to do it. His was perhaps the most striking freedom of all, becoming a sky pirate and taking to the skies in an airship, bound for wonders and treasures and adventure. That he loves that sort of life and has willingly chosen it is clear to see, but the shadow of his father and his former life in Archadia follows him wherever he goes. Such a clean break from his former life would not have been possible without cutting ties to family, title, and name, but it also left unfinished business behind. Despite being the picture of a free individual, Balthier couldn't truly find his own until his ties to the past had been completely severed.

Ashelia

As the princess of a patriarchal nation that has never had a queen before, Ashelia's life had been mapped out for her as a young child. She was told what she could and could not do, where she could and could not go, who she was going to marry, and how she ought to behave. The reality of her situation (time for some of my own headcanons here, heh) was that, had she remained married to Rasler, she would have become his Queen Consort and gone to live in Nabradia, not become the Queen of Dalmasca.

Ashelia was never really an heir to the throne of Dalmasca, not culturally speaking, because one of her eight brothers was supposed to be. Dalmasca had only ever had kings, after all. Raminas' long-term plan was to join his kingdom to Nabradia, and by marrying Ashe to Rasler, ensure that Nabradia would govern Dalmasca as well after his death, with Rasler one day essentially becoming king of both kingdoms. This was something she was not aware of, mostly because Raminas danced around the subject with her, because he knew she would be incensed and heartbroken to find it out. Being left as Raminas' only child and the only one who could possibly have the right to take the throne after he too was gone, Ashelia found herself in a position to become Queen that she was never meant to be in. But because she didn't know that, she carried on as if, yes, she was the true heir.

However, that life, and her life as Queen of Dalmasca after the end of the game, means a continued stifling of her freedom. Even with her being the last living heir to throne and then eventually sitting on it, her life would still be very sheltered, regimented, and controlled by her counsel, her duties, her station, etc. As Penelo states in her letter:

"Ashe's coronation is next month. She grows farther and farther away from us... but I guess that's how it has to be. She is queen now, after all."

The really sad thing about all of this is... she had more personal freedom, agency, and anonymity as “Amalia” than she ever did as a princess or that she does as a queen, and that was because she was thought to be dead and was no longer known as royalty. The more of her true identity and past she regained and reconnected with, the more freedom she lost. Being royalty is a double-edged sword, after all. One has wealth, privilege, and everything they could ask for materially speaking, but one lacks personal freedom, privacy, and ability to express their own personality outside of what is seen as proper or expected of them.

Larsa

Larsa experiences a brief bout of his own grasp of personal freedom for a time by giving Gabranth the slip and becoming “Lamont.” However, like Ashelia, he had to give up his royal identity to do it or else he would immediately lose that freedom. Granted, his alias and fake identity were seen through fairly quickly, but for a short while, by temporarily erasing his past as a Lordling of Archadia, Larsa was able to travel and do whatever he wanted. That was sadly probably more freedom he'd ever had in the whole of his young life up to that point.

Basch

Basch escaped the devastation of Landis, rejected the empire that destroyed her, and was able to make a new life for himself in Dalmasca, but had to abandon his family and lose his identity as a twin to do it. Perhaps childish arrogance, anger, or grief forced Basch to break away and reject Archadia's extension of help to the refugees of Landis, but regardless of the reason, he was able to build a new life for himself, and a happy one at that, until he was framed for his king's murder. The cost of that, though, was that he left behind his twin brother and mother. That part of his identity stayed buried until Noah forced him to acknowledge it openly by framing him, but by then it was too late.

Being framed earned Basch the hatred and scandal of the general public's judgement of him, making him a despised figure throughout all of Ivalice. When he impersonates a deceased Noah at the end of the game, he frees himself from that ruined reputation of his former life. He can never go back to being Basch, or a knight, or Dalmascan. There is freedom to be found in that, for now he is no longer hated for killing King Raminas and has a new life to live, a clean slate for himself if you will, but the cost was staggering. He lost not only his past but his entire identity in the process.

Noah

Noah/Gabranth joined the empire that destroyed his homeland, rose through the ranks, changed his name, and built a new life for himself, but he had to reject his Landisian side and the brother he’d been so close to in order to do it. Landis is gone, he always says, and that is as much as acknowledge fact as it is him telling himself that he's done with his former homeland. Archadia becomes his home, his mother's maiden surname of Gabranth becomes his own, and he leaves behind the person he once was. It's a kind of freedom and personal agency he gains by doing this, but he also loses his identity as a twin, a Ronsenburg, and a Landisian. Although that seems to not bother him at all, statements like, "I've no right to be called by that name," when referring to his given name of "Noah" remind us that he does hold some affection, nostalgia, or love for his former life and family, whether he wants to admit it openly or to himself or not. He builds himself up into something grand in Archadia, but the cost is that he can never go back to who he was before.

Caelen

My FFXII OC, Caelen B'Nargin Dalmasca, one of Ashelia's brothers, was thought to have died with all the rest. It was thought that he'd fallen in battle, but his body was never recovered. That's because, after being wounded and mistaken for a fallen Archadian, he was taken to the Imperial City of Archades. Deciding to use this unfortunate mixup as an opportunity to leave his old life, Caelen disappeared into Old Archades, where he eventually became a blacksmith. He didn't want to be King of Dalmasca someday, or fight in the war, or anything like that. He was a peaceful, gentle sort who only wanted a quiet, simple, and pacifistic life. Unfortunately, he was never going to be permitted to have that as a Prince of Dalmasca. Cutting ties with his old life forever, Caelen certainly won his freedom, but he could never go back, and he could never tell anyone who he really was ever again.

Concluding Thoughts

This quote and its meaning also ties in with the idea of cages from the quote from the Day 3 prompt: "Even caged birds need wings." We are placed in, or we place ourselves in, many different types of cages as we move through life. We become bound by our words and actions which become our reputations. Attached to us and our identities, we can never be free of them... unless we cut ties with the past. Perhaps there is freedom to be found in that, an escape from those cages we've spent a lifetime creating or having built around us, but the consequence is that, to truly be free of them, we have to leave everything behind and start again. Sometimes that's what's necessary, or it's the lesser of two evils. But sometimes, the cost is great, and we have to ask ourselves: which are we more frightened of, being trapped in cages forever, or losing sight who we are?

[thedupshadove]

Lois + Clark roleswap AU (interpret this however you will)

Kala Jor-El lands in rural Colorado, only a scenic drive away from the U.S. Army base where General Sam Lane happens to be serving...

After bringing her back to their residence, Sam felt it was his duty to alert Washington to this clear extraterrestrial presence, and hand the baby--and the shuttle that brought her--over to Area 51 for further investigation. His wife Eleanor had to rather strenuously argue him out of it. What neither of them knew while having this discussion was that one of the abilities granted to Kryptonians by a yellow sun is near-perfect infant recall. After this initial reaction gave way to a childhood of overall better treatment, Lois does love her foster-father. She supposes. But she'll never entirely trust him.

It was also Eleanor who pulled a few favors from her own mysterious circle to have the remains of the shuttle moved to somewhere safe until Lois was old enough to claim it.

Having been raised in crowded environments full of brusque, no-nonsense people, Kala's mask didn't develop in the same way that Kal's did. She tends much more toward overt charisma and force of personality, because surely no one so in-your-face could be concealing anything about herself, right?

If anything, it's Superwoman who's the less assertive persona, since a woman known to be able to crack mountains with her bare hands has to carry herself carefully if she wants people to react with anything other than fear.

Given her renowned beauty and staggering list of accomplishments, it's unsurprising that Superwoman has received romantic overtures from some of the most rich, famous, and powerful men on the planet. But she doesn't want any of them. She wants Clark Kent, the sweetheart of a Kansas-born sci-fi nerd whose overall lack of physical prowess never seems to stop him from trying to talk down a mugger, or pull a child out of the remains of a building ruined by Brainiac.

"I'm not brave, Clark. Nobody with my inbuilt armor and arsenal can be called 'brave'. You've got nothing but your fragile human skin, and you still faced down a squad of Lexcorp goons in the name of letting people know what Luthor's 'charitable donations' were really going to. That's brave."

Clark's background is mostly the same, save for being Jonathan and Martha's biological child. Not needing to hide his powers or cultivate an easily-overlooked persona might make him a little less timid and stammery, but he's still a farm-boy in the big city for the first time, still ridiculously kind-hearted, and still an absolute dork. Also the glasses are real in this version.

Rather than chasing after Superwoman and ignoring Lois, I think the conflict here is that Clark is deeply smitten with both Superwoman and Lois, and his moral code won't allow him to be with either of them while he knows his heart would still be drawn to the other.

As a stepping-stone before telling the truth, Lois might suggest that they go the polyamory route. Clark is skeptical, but says he's willing to try it...as long as the three of them can meet to make sure everyone is on the same page. Whichever persona didn't make the suggestion has to feign unwillingness in order to keep the secret from crashing down too soon.

Lucy would take the role of the Imperiled Civilian more often, I think, now that her position relative to the hero has gone from "My girlfriend's sister and my best friend's girlfriend" to "My sister (and my best friend's girlfriend)". Clark, Jimmy, and Lucy probably get Damsoled about equally (Lucy knows the secret; the other two don't).