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#discuss#this came to me in a vision#star trek#starfleet#star trek tos#ds9#star trek aos#star trek ds9#star trek the original series#star trek voy#star trek enterprise
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i think i’m gonna b sick i gotta lie down…
#chris pine#zachary quinto#wordplay as foreplay#star trek aos#jim kirk#spock#i need to know if they discussed Anything in the lounge#pls let aos4 happen pls pls PLEASE#lamb of blog
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So I was cleaning up a few manga panels for my other blog, and darn it, I need to talk about my thoughts on two scenes in the Shimane Illuminati arc (specifically chapters 61 and 62) because Kato deserves all the applause for everything. This post will be for chapter 61 and I'll post 62 later.
TW/CW for character death, medical abuse, and mental health struggles. Content below the cut.
First, in chapter 61 we get this heart breaking page when Tamamo Kamiki dies.
To get into what I'm seeing with this panel, I need to give a brief (or I'll try and make it brief) overview of Tamamo. Tamamo gets introduced to us in chapter 52 and the first panel we get of her is her sobbing into the camera that everyone acts so cold towards her because she is sleeping with the head priest and not married to said high priest.
We are then told that she was an irresponsible and careless woman by Mike. We find out three really important things though.
Tamamo is judged by the people around her and gets a cold shoulder
Tamamo relies heavily on her daughter and the byakko to have the house run at all and has dreams of a fantastic family and house she has shown no ability to actually run.
Tamamo is in love with the (shitty) Chief Priest of Inari and that he isn't married to her.
We then find out:
That Tamamo and her entire line have always managed the terrifying and unruly Nine Tails by assimilating the god and becoming her, and that the town/shrine distrust her because of that, even though she does it to protect them. They ostracize her for the duty her family has and they judge the entire family because she had Soji's children.
Notice Soji isn't in the judged club and that Soji has never seen his daughters. He's never been to her house. It is always her going to him.
This theme of ostracization is something that pops up over and over and over again in Blue Exorcist. Almost all of the main characters had a childhood that was lonely and where they were rejected by their peers--almost always for things outside their direct control and almost always in someway connected to demons, even if they didn't know it, but I'll get to that more in a moment. Suffice to say, at this point we can see that Tamamo is isolated outside of her illicit meetings with Soji (not at all healthy as we'll see later on) her interactions with the demons around her, and her daughters, neither of which are old or mature enough to offer her the type of companionship she's in need of, which leads to everyone in this tangled dynamic having unhealthy relationships with each other.
We see Tamamo seeking connections and affections and largely being rebuffed by it everywhere except Tsukumo and the byakko. Soji's affection has strings attached, and Izumo is too fed up to offer any affection. The other members of the shrine ostracize her and give her a cold shoulder, and I'd bet money that they're vocal about their opinions any time she's around. (And they likely don't care if the kids are around or not.)
What I'm getting at is that Tamamo is lonely and you see that in how desperate she is for approval and connection and it mostly comes out with Soji. She does whatever he wants to keep her connection to him intact. We've also had a few indications thus far in the manga that isolation and depression and poor mental health are things demons take advantage of. We'll get more explanation on that later on, but suffice to say that Tamamo is not at all in a healthy spot to be constantly risking possession against an immensely powerful and evil demon.
I'll be honest and clear up front that I have no love for Soji and think him deplorable and he did not do anything to help Tamamo that we see. Rather, it seems he exclusively used her for his own pleasures without any care for her or the consequences their time together had.
I also think it's important that everyone know that Nine Tails -- at least the Nine Tails in this story -- is based of Tamamo no Mae who is an infamous yokai in Japanese lore. She has a long and complicated history with her origins unknown and a lot of political manipulation, but an important thing to know about her is that she is always depicted as a child eater. She devours women as well, and thrives on seducing men. She's beautiful and powerful and alluring, and she's manipulative.
So generations of women manipulated and regularly partially possessed by Nine Tails down the line, we have a shrine and town that reject Tamamo and her losing her grasp on the one adult who 'likes' her, and we see this moment:
We see her staring at him, enjoying the light atmosphere and gathering her courage (the sweat drop in the panel has me thinking she's nervous about this because it's not the first time this convo has happened.)
She wants him to come to her house and is trying to make it as appealing as possible. She wants a family and the life she's been dreaming up.
Soji rejects the idea entirely and pushes further by saying if she asks for him to interact with the kids in any way he'll dump her. The one adult connection she has will be lost because of her children. (Not actually. It's because he's a dick but she sees it as the children being the problem.)
She then goes immediately to Nine Tails to do the dance of spirit invocation which we're told this about:
So Tamamo--who has been isolated and lonely for at least a large chunk of her adult life is now seeing the one connection she's made with another adult (and an unhealthy one at that) potentially break because of her children-- goes to assimilate the Nine Tails in that unstable and unhealthy emotional and mental state.
It is heavily implied that Nine Tails started to take her over at this point, and you see her become more and more obsessed with Soji and more angry with her children, further isolating herself away from the small amount of support and connection she did have until she's entirely possessed by the vengeful and malevolent spirit of Nine Tails.
She murders Soji and tries to do the same to her children before the Illuminati take her and subject her to years of torture, all while she's still possessed by the Nine Tails.
One more detail and I'll get back to the scene in chapter 61.
When Tamamo was last fully in control of her faculties and saw her daughter, she saw Izumo in the same place she was. Ostracized by her community with no one but their small family to lean on. Her daughter was doomed to follow the same path Tamamo had, and at this point, it looks like this was a cycle that had been going on for at least a few generations. Isolated and connection starved women raising daughters who were isolated and connection starved children. Tamamo became overly touchy and clingy to everyone where Izumo became mistrustful. (And man does she have a lot of reasons for that.)
Now back to chapter 61 and the moment Tamamo dies.
She wakes up amongst the chaos of the zombie hoard going towards possessed Izumo, and she immediately intervenes to get the Nine Tails spirit back inside herself to save her daughter.
That's important to understand for her. She moved before the next moment I'm going to talk about. She saw Izumo possessed and didn't seem to hesitate to save her daughter. She has been tortured for five years and immediately moves to start that horrible possession again.
But while she's dancing to contain Nine Tails in herself, this is going on in the background:
Each of the other teens in the room came to get Izumo and they're shouting their support of her even while they fight an endless hoard of zombies because they came to get her. Tamamo can hear that happening and she can see that they came to help Izumo.
No one came to help Tamamo. At no point did anyone ever come to rescue her or fight for her. She was blamed for everything and was left to bear all the consequences for five years. (I am not blaming Izumo for that. She was a child and was not responsible for saving her mother.)
But with "We're here for you!" ringing in Tamamo's ears, she completes the ritualistic dance and frees her daughter from the possession.
Tamamo in her dying moments looks at her daughter and sees a community around her that Tamamo didn't have. She sees people willing to intervene and help and fight even though Izumo is pushing them away and possessed and not easy to get along with.
Tamamo, from everything we saw, was isolated and rejected by her community and had no one to support her. She was manipulated and played by her significant other and left vulnerale to possession by a society that needed her to do the thankless job and hated her for doing the thankless job. She was bubbly and friendly and still pushed away and rejected and ostracized until she succumbed to Nine Tails.
back to chapter 52
Blue Exorcist talks a lot about curses and ostracization. All the main cast suffer from it in some way or another. They've all been called terrible things and most of them have been treated as if they aren't human, and a lot of them have complicated lineages and may not be fully human which just amplifies the amount they're rejected by their peers.
For Tamamo, that curse was literal and figurative. The literal curse was the constant absorption of an insane demon that eventually consumed her until she'd destroyed what little family she had.
It was figurative in that as the head priestess and medium in charge of the rituals, she was rejected by the community she needed to support her. She was left floundering on the outside, always given just a taste of what she could have had if she was born to a different family, and left with a longing for what she would never be given and always wondering why she couldn't have it. (And yes, I'm probably reading into some things and filling in the blanks with hypothesis and assumptions.)
But in that final moment, Tamamo sees that curse of isolation and rejection has been broken by Izumo. That her daughter, who like all the daughters of the Kamiki line was alone, is no longer alone. That she has friends and support. Support that followed her into this hell and reached out to call her back even from a demon like Nine Tails.
I don't know if I've made myself all that clear, but I love the way that Kato has shown this over and over again and keeps showing the rejection of isolation and ostracization as any kind of solution. That she keeps showing through each of these relationships and arcs that it's reaching for and connecting with other people that brings change and healing and hope, and I love how she shows that through moments like this. It's a little moment that's so easy to miss, but it's so immensely huge when looked at in the context of the entirety of Tamamo's life.
I wish she knew that they would have come for her if they'd known she'd been there all this time. I wish she'd have found a community to support her and I wish she'd had someone to tell her Soji was a dick and she could do better.
I wish she could see Izumo now, still connected to her friends and even though it's the end of the world, she's fighting with and beside them. That she's seeking out connections and learned her lesson about not needing to be alone. That she's teased and loved and welcomed.
But I'm pretty sure in that final moment, she saw it all anyway.
#blue exorcist#ao no exorcist#izumo kamiki#tamamo kamiki#manga discussion#shimane illuminati arc#it has occurred to me i could have used anime screenshots#but honestly it's easier to get the manga#and i still forget i have it all animated sometimes xD#wow that got long#aoex rambling#i love this story so much#and god the way she writes about connections and relationships#and how she uses so many types#i love it so much#shura and ryuuji and shirou and izumo and rin and yukio#gah#i could write lengthy essays on all of them and still not feel like i've conveyed my thoughts
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Coriolanus Snow - a proud graduate of Grant Ward School for Mass Manipulation.
#the hunger games#coriolanus snow#lucy gray baird#agents of shield#daisy johnson#grant ward#i knew that mf looked familiar#mansplain manipulate manslaughter#I will bring up AOS in every fandom discussion
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What if the reason Isami's clothes disappeared is because Bravern was supposed to deck him out in a suit like Lulu's?
There's a chance that this suit has something to do with granting the Mecha the ability to control the pilot in some fashion. Or perhaps the suit just has some general adverse effect that Bravern doesn't want to reveal as it could oust him in some way?
Of course this works off the unconfirmed theory that Bravern is a high ranking Deathdrive that turned traitor.
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#ryuuji suguro#ao no exorcist#ryuji suguro#blue exorcist#bon suguro#suguro ryuuji#suguro ryuji#manga ryuuji#renzou shima#this was honestly a kind moment of renzou's#and i wish there was more discussion on the way this arc pulls them both apart and pushes them both together at the same time#neither of them ever see the other that clearly despite both of them really thinking they do#still#despite leaving them all in a hell pit of zombies without ammo (did he know the brs was on its way?) renzou takes a moment to make it clear#ryuuji isn't his reason for doing this (he's one of them though even if renzou denies it)#he gives him as much comfort as he can spare in a moment
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im a different anon talking about kendrick related matters, but i need to tell someone about something that's been really bothering me
so obviously everything that comes out of drakes mouth is bullshit but there's a specific line in family matters that's been really irking me
the one where he's like 'where is your uncle at? cause id like to talk to the man of the house' the implication being he's talking about kendricks trans uncle. and like. wow drake what's so funny about that. what's so funny about the idea of a trans man being more masculine than kendrick. what's the joke in comparing kendrick to a trans man. enlighten me, drake, on the comedy in this line. id love to know.
it's just been really bothering me. it's not outwardly transphobic maybe, but man.
oh he ABSOLUTELY wanted to call him Kendricks "aunt" and THEN say "the man of the house" you can smell it. its basically a "youve failed at manhood so bad this X woman is more masculine than you" joke (the same angle he took w kennys wife) that correctly genders the uncle only in word.
it IS transphobic on paper too btw without even reading into it as its most simplified form is "even your TRANS UNCLE is manlier than you" which is yeah. straight transphobic lol.
im sorry man no way out drake i guess you gotta kill yourself to repent
#mypost#kendrick lamar#k.#drake#like there was so much wrong. and ao much right on kennys side i started writing essays on it#we foeget to talk abt all of it cuz he literally makes fun of KENDRICK GETTING MOLESTED AS A KID. cuz of his own literacy failure....#like bro#he lies abt kwndrick DOMESTIC VIOLENCE#the shit ass writing.......#god when kendrick said 'might write a doctorate' i laughed cuz i made the SAME JOKE to my friend after meet the grahams#and yeah i do hate the simpljfied discussion aroynd it even the jokes sometimes bother me cuz#DONT LEAVE OUT THE SERIOUS INDUSTRY WHISTLEBLOWING OUT OF IT. KEEP YOUR EYES PEELED#anyway.......im never leaving this its my home#the boogieman mixtape is my home#askbox
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#anime#anime fandom#anime talk#anime discussion#anime polls#anime poll#shoujosei#shoujo romance#shoujo anime#shoujo#shojo romance#shojo anime#shojo#blue spring ride#ao haru ride#my love story with yamada kun at lv999#yamada kun to lv999 no koi wo suru
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im trying to wrap my head around why i dont get enthusiastic about reddit style fiction (not a dig but a descriptor) like scp and shit like that, bc its not that i can’t enjoy them but i think its like… when stuff is framed as if it were real, but its fiction, its like, well KNOWING its fiction eliminates a huge element of the intrigue, but also, crucially, i like character-driven stories, or at least stories WITH characters. but i also like it when things are interesting for said characters to experience, like, i want the ghosts and monsters and conspiracies but i want the characters to be character-ing, yknow? not that i dont enjoy slice of life and… what would u call the first thing, non-character specific horror? idk? but i prefer when its both. its like i love kirk and spock but also i do enjoy watching them Experience Situations when i watch star trek. i enjoy the idea of spooky national forest monsters that arent real but experiencing it alongside a character would be better, and i want more trans and gay characters whose lives are clearly trans and gay but i want a plotline to unfold too
#i dont think im saying anything different or interesting im just#listening to a wendigoon podcast thats one of his things just#explaining a classic reddit horror story#and ig i enjoy the concept of this one more#but it leaves me thinking like#ok so why do i not wanna hear about this that much….?#and also why i dont rly give a fuck about scp at all when my friends tell me about it#or the mystery flesh pit thing#and its the same reason i didnt give a shit about 2017 IT but loved the 1990 mini series. connecting to the damn characters!!!#i guess i ought to give shit a try again i mean i did read creepypastas once when i was a teenager and enjoyed it#i had a similar thought thw other day when they announced another new star trek aos flashback movie#not that it explicitly said anything about this sort of stuff but like#i just remember hearing some ppl in a college course i was in talking about aos and like ohh the flashbacks to kirks childhood!!!#but in that ‘discussing superheroes’ way of like ‘oh this is good bc it checked the correct canon box!’#like idk dawg i do enjoy fact gathering about characters i love but thats not why i love them?#ok that rly was a tangent i just dont vibe w scp. but if you put a mulder and scully situation in there with it. boom. id be there. ok????#its almost like theres a reason this formula has proven to be so successful over and over and over again
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was gonna wear an outfit tomorrow a little out of my comfort zone but then remembered I might be getting fired tomorrow lol so the old baggy trousers and hoody it is
#avs speaks#employment escapades#my contract is up for discussion tomorrow ao if they keep me on another yr or not.... lol
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damn I really like my new therapist a lot 🥹 it's only second ses with her but comparing my time with her to with ashley there's some stuff I didn't notice that made me uncomfortable thats just completely not there with liz
#today was kinda heavy#which is cray for second ses with her but#i did some assesments that she reviewed#and like she discussed them v thoroughly w me#unlike ashley she just kinda did her own assement and went where she thought we needed to go#umm idk rly it just feels more engaged ig?#i thing i did notice that ik bothered me a lot#was ashley getting on her computer during sessions like sometimes while i was talking#that did bother me but i never stick up for myself ao i never brought it up#but going over the assesments just now#liz brought over her laptop and was letting mw look while we discussed it#idk its just a really nice change feels much more caring? engaging? interactive?#its just nice!!!! i like her a lot so far!!!!!!!#txt post#diary 💌
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🕷️
#It like actually really hurts my feelings that he doesnt care about me or my blogs#and whenever he disagrees with smth i post he never actually talks about it or discusses it with me#he just dislikes it and then says that he doesnt like it but then he is a wall#and wont actually discuss it w me even if i try to ask him abt it and stuff#and it hurts my feelings that he is liking other girls' pics and selfies#but never mine#and that he reblogs others' pictures but never mine#and i hate that im scared of posting what i want#bc im scared he'll see it and judge me#even if he's made it clear he doesnt give a fuck abt my blog#and that he pretty much dislikes every single thing i do ao#lmao*#the problem is that i am so fkn in love with him#all i can see or want is him#but he doesnt feel the same for me and i wanna die lol#i wish i didnt care but it hurts sm
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Now I've been wondering... 🤔
If TOSMcCoy and AOSMcCoy were forced to go on an epic adventure/rescue mission to save the crew, how would the dynamic be? I feel that it would be a rocky start but they would end up trusting one another and learning from each other.
What would the TOS crew think of AOSMcCoy?
What do y'all think? Discuss 🖖
#hailey the queen of typos#star trek aos#star trek tos#leonard mccoy#leonard bones mccoy#Leonard McCoy prime#Bones prime#discussions#Star Trek discussions
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OPEN STARTER | Baek Eunjae
"Science can explain fuck-all about bees and their fat bodies and their tiny wings, but we're definitely equipped for space-travel, sure, why not, sounds logical."
#;open starter#the social worker;eunjae#the social worker;open#you know i started writing these at around 22:50 or 10:50 PM or somewhere there#and i am very tired and have been for the past however many days#so if these one-liners seem stupid as hell please be kind to me i am just a GOON#this is eunjae energy tho don't worry the folies des hommes piss 'em off leave the moon alone#eunjae is they/them icon a social worker 27 ish somewhere they have a younger brother that#they basically raised and he depends a lot on them and they're very close so good family system#they're also a MIND READER it doesn't pop up a lot in threads because i get so excited about getting to write#their personality i forget all about the mutant aspect KJDFLSFLKFJDGFLKJ#but i'll only throw it in after prior discussion#honestly if you're familiar with apoth*cary diaries eunjae's a LOT like ma*om*ao in terms of#prioritizing and not fucking with others and display of energy#;queue#they're not even talking about whether humanity is equipped to handle space-travel in a technological sense#or even from a scientific point of view-- ATTITUDE!!! it's about ATTITUDE!!!!#humanity is still scratching their head about bees unwilling to admitt nature does whatever the fuck IT wants and not what we determine#it should do what the HELL are we gonna do in SPACE--#it's also about the bee movie ngl
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AND ANOTHER THING about s4/the framework!!
May’s story makes no sense. The inhuman doesn’t die in Bahrain, and goes on to kill a bunch of other people because of it… SO MAY JOINS HYDRA?? Um what??
Like, yes, she would feel guilty. Of course. But she was still a Shield agent. She knew the history of Hydra. She knew who they were. Why would she join them?
What is this nonsense.
(edit- I realized this might sound angry haha, I’m not angry - just confused and I enjoy ranting 😅)
#melinda may#agents of shield#the framework#aos season 4#aos discussions#AM I MISSING SOMETHING??#bc what?#anyway#aos#mine
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hello friends I just remembered podcasts exist time to go binge listen to the ones I haven't heard in years and have brainrot again
#if anyone wants to discuss the far meridian with me after I re listen please do I have ao many feelings about that show#the far meridian#the bright sessions#ars paradoxica#mcgillicuddy and murder's pawn shop#aghgah and then there's all the podcasts i used to listen to religiously and then forgot about and never finished#does anyone know the hidden people#also current podcasts I've just started listening to and/or have in my to listen: midnight burger wooden overcoats the ghost catchers#and the left right game because i never finished it#podcasts
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