#wow that got long

[tonguetiedraven]

So I was cleaning up a few manga panels for my other blog, and darn it, I need to talk about my thoughts on two scenes in the Shimane Illuminati arc (specifically chapters 61 and 62) because Kato deserves all the applause for everything. This post will be for chapter 61 and I'll post 62 later.

TW/CW for character death, medical abuse, and mental health struggles. Content below the cut.

First, in chapter 61 we get this heart breaking page when Tamamo Kamiki dies.

To get into what I'm seeing with this panel, I need to give a brief (or I'll try and make it brief) overview of Tamamo. Tamamo gets introduced to us in chapter 52 and the first panel we get of her is her sobbing into the camera that everyone acts so cold towards her because she is sleeping with the head priest and not married to said high priest.

We are then told that she was an irresponsible and careless woman by Mike. We find out three really important things though.

Tamamo is judged by the people around her and gets a cold shoulder

Tamamo relies heavily on her daughter and the byakko to have the house run at all and has dreams of a fantastic family and house she has shown no ability to actually run.

Tamamo is in love with the (shitty) Chief Priest of Inari and that he isn't married to her.

We then find out:

That Tamamo and her entire line have always managed the terrifying and unruly Nine Tails by assimilating the god and becoming her, and that the town/shrine distrust her because of that, even though she does it to protect them. They ostracize her for the duty her family has and they judge the entire family because she had Soji's children.

Notice Soji isn't in the judged club and that Soji has never seen his daughters. He's never been to her house. It is always her going to him.

This theme of ostracization is something that pops up over and over and over again in Blue Exorcist. Almost all of the main characters had a childhood that was lonely and where they were rejected by their peers--almost always for things outside their direct control and almost always in someway connected to demons, even if they didn't know it, but I'll get to that more in a moment. Suffice to say, at this point we can see that Tamamo is isolated outside of her illicit meetings with Soji (not at all healthy as we'll see later on) her interactions with the demons around her, and her daughters, neither of which are old or mature enough to offer her the type of companionship she's in need of, which leads to everyone in this tangled dynamic having unhealthy relationships with each other.

We see Tamamo seeking connections and affections and largely being rebuffed by it everywhere except Tsukumo and the byakko. Soji's affection has strings attached, and Izumo is too fed up to offer any affection. The other members of the shrine ostracize her and give her a cold shoulder, and I'd bet money that they're vocal about their opinions any time she's around. (And they likely don't care if the kids are around or not.)

What I'm getting at is that Tamamo is lonely and you see that in how desperate she is for approval and connection and it mostly comes out with Soji. She does whatever he wants to keep her connection to him intact. We've also had a few indications thus far in the manga that isolation and depression and poor mental health are things demons take advantage of. We'll get more explanation on that later on, but suffice to say that Tamamo is not at all in a healthy spot to be constantly risking possession against an immensely powerful and evil demon.

I'll be honest and clear up front that I have no love for Soji and think him deplorable and he did not do anything to help Tamamo that we see. Rather, it seems he exclusively used her for his own pleasures without any care for her or the consequences their time together had.

I also think it's important that everyone know that Nine Tails -- at least the Nine Tails in this story -- is based of Tamamo no Mae who is an infamous yokai in Japanese lore. She has a long and complicated history with her origins unknown and a lot of political manipulation, but an important thing to know about her is that she is always depicted as a child eater. She devours women as well, and thrives on seducing men. She's beautiful and powerful and alluring, and she's manipulative.

So generations of women manipulated and regularly partially possessed by Nine Tails down the line, we have a shrine and town that reject Tamamo and her losing her grasp on the one adult who 'likes' her, and we see this moment:

We see her staring at him, enjoying the light atmosphere and gathering her courage (the sweat drop in the panel has me thinking she's nervous about this because it's not the first time this convo has happened.)

She wants him to come to her house and is trying to make it as appealing as possible. She wants a family and the life she's been dreaming up.

Soji rejects the idea entirely and pushes further by saying if she asks for him to interact with the kids in any way he'll dump her. The one adult connection she has will be lost because of her children. (Not actually. It's because he's a dick but she sees it as the children being the problem.)

She then goes immediately to Nine Tails to do the dance of spirit invocation which we're told this about:

So Tamamo--who has been isolated and lonely for at least a large chunk of her adult life is now seeing the one connection she's made with another adult (and an unhealthy one at that) potentially break because of her children-- goes to assimilate the Nine Tails in that unstable and unhealthy emotional and mental state.

It is heavily implied that Nine Tails started to take her over at this point, and you see her become more and more obsessed with Soji and more angry with her children, further isolating herself away from the small amount of support and connection she did have until she's entirely possessed by the vengeful and malevolent spirit of Nine Tails.

She murders Soji and tries to do the same to her children before the Illuminati take her and subject her to years of torture, all while she's still possessed by the Nine Tails.

One more detail and I'll get back to the scene in chapter 61.

When Tamamo was last fully in control of her faculties and saw her daughter, she saw Izumo in the same place she was. Ostracized by her community with no one but their small family to lean on. Her daughter was doomed to follow the same path Tamamo had, and at this point, it looks like this was a cycle that had been going on for at least a few generations. Isolated and connection starved women raising daughters who were isolated and connection starved children. Tamamo became overly touchy and clingy to everyone where Izumo became mistrustful. (And man does she have a lot of reasons for that.)

Now back to chapter 61 and the moment Tamamo dies.

She wakes up amongst the chaos of the zombie hoard going towards possessed Izumo, and she immediately intervenes to get the Nine Tails spirit back inside herself to save her daughter.

That's important to understand for her. She moved before the next moment I'm going to talk about. She saw Izumo possessed and didn't seem to hesitate to save her daughter. She has been tortured for five years and immediately moves to start that horrible possession again.

But while she's dancing to contain Nine Tails in herself, this is going on in the background:

Each of the other teens in the room came to get Izumo and they're shouting their support of her even while they fight an endless hoard of zombies because they came to get her. Tamamo can hear that happening and she can see that they came to help Izumo.

No one came to help Tamamo. At no point did anyone ever come to rescue her or fight for her. She was blamed for everything and was left to bear all the consequences for five years. (I am not blaming Izumo for that. She was a child and was not responsible for saving her mother.)

But with "We're here for you!" ringing in Tamamo's ears, she completes the ritualistic dance and frees her daughter from the possession.

Tamamo in her dying moments looks at her daughter and sees a community around her that Tamamo didn't have. She sees people willing to intervene and help and fight even though Izumo is pushing them away and possessed and not easy to get along with.

Tamamo, from everything we saw, was isolated and rejected by her community and had no one to support her. She was manipulated and played by her significant other and left vulnerale to possession by a society that needed her to do the thankless job and hated her for doing the thankless job. She was bubbly and friendly and still pushed away and rejected and ostracized until she succumbed to Nine Tails.

back to chapter 52

Blue Exorcist talks a lot about curses and ostracization. All the main cast suffer from it in some way or another. They've all been called terrible things and most of them have been treated as if they aren't human, and a lot of them have complicated lineages and may not be fully human which just amplifies the amount they're rejected by their peers.

For Tamamo, that curse was literal and figurative. The literal curse was the constant absorption of an insane demon that eventually consumed her until she'd destroyed what little family she had.

It was figurative in that as the head priestess and medium in charge of the rituals, she was rejected by the community she needed to support her. She was left floundering on the outside, always given just a taste of what she could have had if she was born to a different family, and left with a longing for what she would never be given and always wondering why she couldn't have it. (And yes, I'm probably reading into some things and filling in the blanks with hypothesis and assumptions.)

But in that final moment, Tamamo sees that curse of isolation and rejection has been broken by Izumo. That her daughter, who like all the daughters of the Kamiki line was alone, is no longer alone. That she has friends and support. Support that followed her into this hell and reached out to call her back even from a demon like Nine Tails.

I don't know if I've made myself all that clear, but I love the way that Kato has shown this over and over again and keeps showing the rejection of isolation and ostracization as any kind of solution. That she keeps showing through each of these relationships and arcs that it's reaching for and connecting with other people that brings change and healing and hope, and I love how she shows that through moments like this. It's a little moment that's so easy to miss, but it's so immensely huge when looked at in the context of the entirety of Tamamo's life.

I wish she knew that they would have come for her if they'd known she'd been there all this time. I wish she'd have found a community to support her and I wish she'd had someone to tell her Soji was a dick and she could do better.

I wish she could see Izumo now, still connected to her friends and even though it's the end of the world, she's fighting with and beside them. That she's seeking out connections and learned her lesson about not needing to be alone. That she's teased and loved and welcomed.

But I'm pretty sure in that final moment, she saw it all anyway.

[moonstruckme]

how do ya think the marauders would react to getting in... suggestive positions with each other whilst playing twister?? ILYYYY

Haha I feel like Sirius and James would both start out joking around but steadily get more competitive. Sirius would be wayyyy into it, like actively rubbing up on whoever is nearest to try to get a reaction from them, whereas Remus I think would be acting unbothered but really quite smug anytime one of you reacts to his proximity--and as usual he'd be the most able to trip Sirius up, pretending not to care and then casually reaching over Sirius so he's practically on top of him and the poor guy like gulps audibly. James I think would be the least lewd about it, he's teasing everyone but honestly just there for a good time, though occaisionally some form of contact will fluster even him and he'll sort of giggle before redirecting all of his attention to making sure he doesn't fall because his limbs have gone all wobbly

[rapha-reads]

To those of you wondering (aka no one), I finished both The Vampire Armand and Merrick and I have a lot of thoughts and feels. I'm skipping Blood and Gold for now to go directly to Blackwood Farm (I'll read B&G later), but first I'm going to read something else, just to take a break.

TVA thoughts: man, Armand is messed up. And extremely compelling. But so messed up. As always, the theme of faith crisis, which seriously reaches new heights with these bitchy vampires, is not something I can fully immerse myself in, but it was fascinating to see his numerous metamorphosis. I liked how he bridges Western and Eastern Christianisme, especially through art. Now I'm thinking that if Rolin Jones makes him originally Muslim in the show, that could expand even more the conversation on how faith, and especially Abrahamic faith, has been in conversation for thousands of years and could be such a rich, diverse and spiritual, intellectual and artistic theme. I can already imagine some fascinating discussions comparing (not in a superior way but in a complementary way) coming from Muslim faith to Roman Catholic faith, the way book!Armand talks about the richness of his life in Kiev Rus despite the poverty and ascetism, and the richness of his life in Venecia despite the luxury and abundance.

As for Benamin and Sybille... I don't have much thoughts about them. Sybille is one of those female characters AR seemingly favors, not so much human as a nymph or a dryad, "perfectly splendid". And Benji is a caricature of an Arab child. Nuance? 401 not found.

Merrick thoughts: David for the love if everything, shut. The. Fuck. Up. Holy moly. I like David, I do, but damn the entire recollection of his history with Merrick was looooooong. I'm here to see Louis haunted by Claudia and haunting Lestat's coma, not how hard you're pining for the kid you practically raised! Also. ALSO. You're just going to leave that whole thing with the Olmec or possibly another more ancient Mesoamerican civilisation without ever giving us more? That was the most interesting part of it all! The vodoo history, the connection between Louisiana and Caribbean vodoo and old Native South-American religions! More about this, less about Merrick's perfect breasts, I am begging you. (It is at this point that the reader of this post realises OP is 100% definitely ace and more interested in books and witchcraft than breasts and whether a 70yo man can still get it up - also, hey, Anne Rice's vampires are practically asexual and their lust and pleasure is mostly derivated from blood, with some notable exceptions like Armand and Marius, and a love relationship between two vampires is then based on romantic love and blood sharing, so can I hear a hell yeah for some ace representation or are we still conflating eroticism with sex)

Another thing I kept thinking about throughout the book is how Louis is perceived by his fellow vampires. Since basically the second book, since we've lost his own POV, everybody who's ever said anything about him (so Lestat, Armand and David) have insisted on two points: how very weak and meek Louis is, and also how irresistible, beautiful and charming. Granted, I've known Louis first through his portrayal on the show (hi Jacob you're so fiiiiiiine), and then through his own narration in the first book, but I've never had the impression that he was weak. Beautiful and seductive, yes. Weak? I see a human man going through tragedies and still enduring, going through vampiric transformation and then suffering for decades the loss of his humanity, struggling with reconciliating both sides of himself, but mostly I see a vampire who rebuilt himself after losing everything without sacrificing his sense of self. I see Louis as very strong actually (up to the point where resilience breaks, because resilience cannot be sustained on a long term, but that's another debate). He knows who he is, and don't you know how hard that is? He doesn't cling to faith or pride. He knows he's doomed, he knows he's monstrous, he knows there's nothing he can do to change that, and instead of railing against his fate, he goes on about his undead life. He gets his books and he reads them, he surrounds himself with literature and what little comforts he thinks in his shattered self-esteem he deserves (his ragged sweaters and soft trousers); let's not lie to ourselves tho, Louis doesn't like himself, or more exactly he doesn't care about his corporeal body - what matters to him is his mind, and once again, this author is extremely ace and also very aro and very nonbinary, so Louis to me is very much ace and agender coded, though really not aro, because his love for Lestat (and sometimes his fondness, shall we say, for Armand) is the only thing that can rouse him up from his literary slumber.

...

Oh, man, I have a lot to say about Louis, for how little he appears in the books so far. Still have BF, BC and the PL trilogy to devour. So I guess you can say, for as much as Lestat is occupying my entire brain, very much like him, my favorite is Louis? Yeah, that tracks. Melancholy, quiet, dark-haired green-eyed monster with more humanity than humans, preferring his solitude and the company of books to anyone else, hopelessly and helplessly devoted to one person, expert in brooding and grieving, literature specialist, not very attached to his physical self. Yeah. I'm not surprised.

[dribs-and-drabbles]

GMMTV 2024 part 1

My thoughts on the trailers (from what I can remember and from some dms I shouted to @grapejuicegay two nights ago...and which I also did last year as well - that was interesting to read again!) and in order of preference/excitement about its potential:

Pluto has to be top of my list because not only WOMEN but WOMEN KISSING OTHER WOMEN. I'm a little confused on the story (like most people it seems) but I'm here for a little mystery. I just hope we don't get a repeat of 'one twin being awoken from a coma by the other twin having sex'...or maybe I do.

Of course Ploy's Yearbook is second because, again, WOMEN. But also JIMMY! And Joong and Mond! I don't even mind the 'adopted siblings' thing, because in my mind the adoption is a recent thing and they haven't grown up together (watch me be wrong). Anyway, here for the ladies not for the story.

How could I not put My Precious the Series in third spot with Nanon (and Film)?! Not only are these two adorable together but HOW has Nanon managed to look SO YOUNG here? (At 22 I know he's still young but he looks even younger). I guess the plot is a simple teenage friend group lovestory but I don't care, I'd watch Nanon in just about anything. (Ooo, and Fon [10 Yrs Ticket] is co-directing!)

Whether Peaceful Property is a bl or not I am signed the f up. This trailer was the best to be honest. It was like a refreshing slap in the face and I would have set it top if it hadn't been for The Women and Nanon. Spooky hijinks? Absolutely. Found family? I'm eating that shit up. Jan being kooky? More more! New in a more domineering role than Tay? Yes please. This was basically me:

I'm sort of 80% believing/trusting that Kidnap is a BL, not that that's the only reason I'll be seated for it. No, I'm here for Ohm. Now, I did say that about him last year in Double Savage and then I couldn't get past ep 3 (even though I had said I couldn't wait to see him in something heavy and dramatic...the intergenerational trauma was just too much for me) but I have high hopes for this one. And I'm intrigued as to why they've put such a newbie (Leng) opposite such an experienced actor (and someone SO experienced with bl series), so I'm thinking they will either use that difference in the plot, OR they know Leng is just That Good, OR he's a 'placeholder' for another actor who will be recast in the role. We'll see if I'm right. (Also, it's directed by Noom [Midnight Museum]...)

What's not to love about The Trainee? (apart from the fact that we haven't even had Cooking Crush yet so how am I supposed to get excited over another Gun/Off show?!?). We get Off and Gun again, and then there's Sea...and a possible GL side couple??? And it's not set in a school/uni!! Let's see how different it will be to ABAAB...

At first I was a little disappointed to see that GMMTV was doing a My Love Mix-Up! remake, even with Fourth and Gemini (whom I love) and Au directing (MSP and BBS), because I would have preferred to see them in something new, maybe something meatier (having seen what they could do in Moonlight Chicken), but I guess I don't mind. It will be interesting to see how Thailand approaches this story and if they can do the nuance of the exploration of sexuality as well as the original.

I'm excited for Wandee Goodday mainly to see Great again but Inn also looks good. This is an interesting pairing, and I love some of the side characters. The main reason it's not higher up the list is because I'm not a fan of boxing, but I'm definitely here for the friends-with-benefits to fake-dating shenanigans. Oh and for Golf (The Eclipse) directing.

What can I say about My Golden Blood that hasn't already been said?! Gawin in another BL! And with Joss! And Mond again! And it's about VAMPIRES! Signed and sealed. Give it to me. (Also, it's the same director as Shadow: Ark).

We Are looks cute, and it's nice to see all the couples again but the trailer didn't wow me. Having said that, it'll probably end up being my favourite or something knowing me 😂

The main thing I'm looking forward to with Only Boo! is to see Louis and Aun (and maybe the other two but I don't know them) killing it with the dancing (unfortunately there'll probably also be singing). I mean, look at this. Show me what you've got Louis!

I'm not really feeling Summer Night at all to be honest. And they used the ost for UMG at the end which threw me as well. I'll see what the real trailer looks like and decide whether to watch it then...but my hunch is I won't.

High School Frenemy had FAR too much fighting in it and I'm not sure if I'll watch this one. It seems like it should be a bl but I don't think it will be (I am fighting the urge to read up on the Korean original). BUT I might show up for these three...as well as View, Est, Mark, Mark, Prom, and AJ AND JJ (my beloveds). I'm warning the show, though, it had BETTER have a DAMN GOOD REASON why Shin won't forgive Saint. (I've just seen it's directed by Fon, so that's giving me more hope).

I'm really really hesitant about Ossan's Love Thailand and it's not because I know the original (because I don't) but mainly because I've never felt inclined to see the original because of one of the age gaps. I'm usually fine with age gaps but this one just feels icky. I wonder what they'll do with the Thai version...but it's directed by Au, so I'll probably watch it (and because it's Earth/Mix - duh), but I might not do the whole comparison with the original thing.

And lastly The Interest (Movie Trailer #2) and Enigma 2 which I doubt I will watch. The former is a movie, so I don't know if it'll get an international release, and the latter is a sequel and I haven't seen the first series...and probably won't unless someone gives me good reason to otherwise.

[uncleskyrule]

oo im curious about the modern au! any lore u wanna share? :3

(whoopsie, i forgot this was the account for this stuff)

Hi AK!! Fun fact, before you asked this, there was no lore at all for the "different era, same spirit" AU. Evie (@inumbrapugnabimus-maybe/@whyoneartheven) and I are pretty relaxed about this AU, so we haven't done any real world-building. As ideas come up, we just write/draw them! And I just came up with this :D So here's the general idea for Legend and Marin's story:

They met while playing an online game called Awakening (maybe something like Sky: Children of the Light?). His avatar was a pink bunny, hers was a seagull. She had been playing for a while before he joined and met her on one of the in-game realms, Koholint Island.

They bonded quickly and went on adventures together, exploring the realms and doing the game's quests. Ever since the beginning, Marin was very vocal in the voice chat, and she often sang little songs as they played. Later Legend grew more confident and started talking too, and even humming along.

Just as Sky: CotL's developers are always looking for feedback, Awakening's devs did too. I haven't decided the details yet, but let's say an issue came up in the gameplay--maybe the monsters were too overpowered??--and Legend sent in some feedback. The devs listened and changed it, but something happened in the system so that the next time Legend went to the beach where he and Marin always met, she wasn't there. When he checked his friends list, her name was gone. It was as if she had never existed.

He looked everywhere for her, traveling throughout the realms and scouring every nook and cranny for any trace of her--even daring to ask in voice chats if anyone had seen the seagull with the hibiscus accessory who had the most beautiful voice in the world. No one had any answers. He even messaged the devs on Discord and begged them for help, but they couldn't do anything, and threatened to ban him if he bothered them further.

Ever since then he has had so much guilt and misses her terribly. He regrets never having mustered up the courage to ask her number. One time, Wars tried to make him feel better about the whole thing by saying that Marin was probably just an old man using a voice changer and Legend socked his lights out. No one brings it up now.

[weirdronpa]

Whoosh Whoosh☆ !!

This is more of a passion doodle for me! It's been in my mind ever since I saw this little goober's emoji (is that what it's called?)

Without the text!

Here's the fun moments while playing the game that made me want to do this little doodle! (I'll spare you of too many screenshots!)

I'm sorry for the longer post! This has just been something that's been on my mind since late December, and I'm happy that I've finally done it! I know it's a bit wonky, but I'm still happy with how it turned out! I wasn't really looking to draw it in the game's style, just mine. So, I wasn't really looking for the image to be a 1 to 1 copy! I have more Ensemble Star thingys I wanna post (They've been taking me multiple hours, and I've lost focus on them many times). Don't plan on them being posted soon- You might just get doodles for now rather than full-blown things, but hopefully that's okay!! Sorry about the whole info dump, but I hope this explains things a bit! Whoosh Whoosh ✩!!

[mysteriousubstance]

I was one of those kids. (I kinda still am even though I'm an adult now but I am not as afraid of being "caught" as I was)

My parents said no social media because that would mess with my mental health. Which is completely fair! But 14 year old me thought that it was dumb that I couldn't have a working phone - I shared a "home phone" with my brother (literally just a Google voice number). I thought that it was dumb that I couldn't have discord or any social media other than YouTube.

There were many times where people would be quoting things in school (big chungus and the No Mercy overwatch song were the big examples lol) and I would just guess what was going on? I remember seeing the floss and being so confused. People would quote vines and I would be so lost. I felt so dumb for not knowing these things that EVERYBODY knew. And when I found one I did know, I was behind (someone laughed all me saying "who still plays Undertale" in 2017). I had friends, sure. But even my friends quoted things. (Maybe that's why I have such a low self esteem? I'll bring that up in therapy ig)

So by the time I was in 14 and in High School, I decided I would ignore the rule. I found what I believed was the safest website to be on. The Nanowrimo YWP forums.

Now if you don't know about what happened there, there was a lot of shit going down there. None of it good. I will not do it justice by explaining it, but there was no good moderation. Someone told us to k*ll ourselves at one point. There was grooming that the mods did nothing to stop (mostly just attempts on the YWP, the adult site was much worse in regards to that. Please correct me if you know more, I was very lucky to avoid it)

When all of this happened, I didn't tell my parents. Not when I knew there was a groomer on there. Not when someone told a bunch of people all at once to k*ll ourselves. And certainly not when it actually shut down. I didn't tell my parents

Now, I was very lucky to have not been directly involved in any of that. But I didn't feel like I could turn to my parents when these things happened. When the site shut down for the above (and many more) reasons, I didn't tell my parents what happened. After all, I would get in trouble (I got grounded for a month at first because I didn't hide it well enough so I then proceeded to keep it hidden for 3 years).

But what if I was unlucky? What if something had happened to me and I didn't think I could tell my parents?

I didn't remember who said this, but "Strict parents make sneaky kids"

I wasn't any safer with the rule. In fact, I was arguably more vulnerable. I knew basic internet safety from 3rd grade (that's a whole other unrelated can of worms) but at the time, I was also 14. You think I knew what I was doing at age 14???

Anyways, all this to say, banning the Internet is not gonna solve the problem. Set limitations. Encourage other hobbies. Unless you want your kid to have low self esteem because of being cut off from everyone, let your kids have the internet. Make sure they have someone they can go to when something makes them upset.

[sixofravens-reads]

Finished The Bird's Nest!

(spoilers ahead, sorry I couldn't write my thoughts without them)

Overall I enjoyed it more than I thought I would. Any horror story dealing with "multiple personalities" is usually a pass for me, considering in the modern day it tends to just be another way to demonize mentally ill people, but Jackson's take on this trope (and I'm not sure if this was a trope in her time or if she was one of its originators) is unique. She uses it as an allegory for grief and guilt (SORRY i know that's overdone but it is!), in particular when you're grieving someone you loved but who also treated you horribly and who no one else seemed to like, and you don't know how to reconcile those emotions.

We hear many different stories about Elizabeth's mother from all her personalities before her aunt clarifies things. She clearly tried to love her daughter, but struggled with substance abuse, had a tendency to disappear for long periods of time, and had a boyfriend who was potentially abusive (it's never clarified, but it's implied Robin either tried to force Elizabeth out of her mother's life when he got tired of her or else abused Elizabeth directly), and when she died Aunt Morgen's opinion was basically "good riddance." In the end we find out it's Elizabeth who killed her mother, because she disappeared for two days and showed up to a carefully planned birthday celebration drunk/high. The killing was clearly unintentional, a teenage emotional outburst at the person Elizabeth loved the most betraying her again, and it's implied that her mother was already so weakened (or outright dying) from her addiction that Elizabeth"shaking" her was enough to kill her.

So Elizabeth is unable to handle the truth, and that's where the different parts of her personality come in: it's an allegory for the grief and guilt Elizabeth feels about her mother's death, and how she crushes every undesirable feeling down so that she can go on with life, without making her aunt angry or having to reconcile the facts about her mother, but as always happens when you try and repress your emotions, they start coming out in random outbursts and slowly Elizabeth loses control. Jackson is taking a normal situation to the extreme for effect, but I don't think she was necessarily trying to portray the condition realistically (so if you're sensitive about that, maybe take this book with a grain of salt or just avoid it).

We have Elizabeth, the "primary" for a while, who's very dull, not showing much emotion, just going along with what others want. She's the "safest" in that even when her aunt is upset with her, she doesn't think or feel as deeply about it as the others and she almost never thinks of her mother, and when she does she believes her mother died of a heart attack while Elizabeth was locked in her bedroom. Next there's Beth, who at first seems like the kindest and sweetest and "best" personality, but it becomes clear that if she experiences even the tiniest but of negativity she immediately crumbles. She's part of the hurt child that Elizabeth had to push down because she hadn't come to terms with the fact that she could never be "good" enough for her mother to treat her better. She immediately turns on Doctor Wright when Betsy dips in the middle of being yelled at and Beth accidentally gets part of the lecture. She's too emotional to listen to others and won't accept the doctor's apologies or explanations at all, and it's all downhill from there.

Then we have Betsy, the problem child. Betsy seems younger than the others, and potentially her development was stalled because of something Robin did (the only memory we really get from her is one of her and her mother and Robin at the beach, where he pretty much tells the mother to abandon Elizabeth/Betsy because he's annoyed with her). She's wilful, childish, rude, paranoid, and demanding, and struggles with learning how to behave in society. She's also very clearly a hurt child who wants to act out for attention, and wholeheartedly believes her mother is still alive. She has little care or concern for the rest of Elizabeth, and often pranks her other personalities and at one point runs away to New York and needs Bess to assert her dominance and get them home.

Finally, there's Bess, who believes she's 19 and her mother died just three weeks ago, and whose main concern is that her aunt is in control of her father's money (he died when Elizabeth was a baby, and left it in trust to Elizabeth, with Aunt Morgen to distribute funds until Elizabeth's 25th birthday because he knew he couldn't trust Elizabeth's mother with it) and she fears she's going to spend it all foolishly and leave Elizabeth destitute. That said, she's also a bit of a shopaholic and seems to believe that as long as she spends all her money on herself, everything's a-okay (Betsy often pisses her off by giving money to homeless people, she's that uptight about it). She also contains/is created by the emotions that killed Elizabeth's mother, namely pride, anger, and the deep feeling that she's being screwed over that comes from having a parent who always fails you.

So in the order that they're discovered, meaning how deeply they were buried in Elizabeth's psyche, we have: Elizabeth (the primary), Beth (the nice girl), Betsy (the misbehaving child), and Bess (proud and angry). Which tracks with how someone grieving/guilty might bury emotions they don't want to feel. Bess goes the deepest because it's "her" rage and humiliation that killed her mother and Elizabeth doesn't feel like she's allowed to be a proud, rich woman anymore. Then Betsy, because she makes life so difficult and Elizabeth can't face the childhood trauma that creates those emotions, and then Beth, who's the kindness and naivety Elizabeth wants to have but can't because it's not safe, and then Elizabeth at the top, going through the motions of life and trying to keep everyone around her happy and not rock the boat.

The problems come when Betsy, who can't be contained anymore, starts giving Elizabeth crippling migraines and writing her nasty notes in the brief time where she gains control, which leads Elizabeth to Doctor Wright who discovers her condition. Personally I think Betsy would've gained strength eventually and run away even without the doctor (similar to how I, ah, called in sick an hour into work last week and drove to the mountains because I couldn't deal with work stress anymore), but he was the catalyst for each part of Elizabeth realizing there are other parts taking control, which led to them all being able to come together. Doctor Wright is the kind of character who could've been written as a totally valid doctor in the 50s, but comes across as kind of suspicious nowadays. However, all of his machinations about crushing Betsy and Bess and making Beth the primary fail, because you can't just disappear your bad feelings by trying to be kind and sweet and pure, you have to accept and deal with them in order to move on. He was the catalyst for Elizabeth realizing she needs to accept and deal with all parts of herself, but she did the real work.

In the end, she becomes one whole new person, a merging of all aspects of her personality whose conflicting opinions cancel out, so she has to basically relearn how she feels about everything, including her aunt, who has been through the wringer dealing with a niece who alternately loves or hates her depending on the moment. She's still got work to do, and it's clear she'll have to do it alone since Wright and Aunt Morgen are too tied up in their own opinions of her and desires for who they want her to be to help, but she's got a new lease on life and time to figure it out, without the weight of her past.

So, TLDR: excellent allegory for the grief and guilt of losing someone you have a complicated relationship with, and how that wound can fester if you don't deal with your emotions properly. I wasn't expecting that and I'm a little surprised at how well it works and conveys a lot of thoughts about grief and trauma that I thought were more modern.

Anyway, 4/5 stars, will definitely buy a copy and reread it. Proceed with caution if you're sensitive about how multiple personalities are portrayed though, because as stated above I think this isn't intended to be a realistic portrayal and is using that as an allegory.

[spearxwind]

I think it's sad that most people always think of bottlenoses as the "classic dolphin" since its the one that's always used for shows, and always think of dolphins as just straight grey when in reality there's so many varieties with so many different amazing patterns

Look at the common dolphin! They have a gorgeous X pattern and even some dull yellow/gold!!

Hourglass dolphins have gorgeous white streaks

Spinner dolphins have really pretty banding as well, AND they have a really sleek cute silhouette!

The atlantic spotted dolphin!!! Theyre spotted!!!!!!

and the pantropical spotted too!!

Dusky dolphins have a gorgeous airbrush look going on like straight out of a 2000s fantasy illustration

Striped dolphins sure have stripes!! How cool!!

And these I've shown you aren't even all of them at all, there are so many of them:

There's so so so many different types of dolphins people dont know about this isnt even all of them and some are SO gorgeous and underrated because people just dont know they exist so I'm here to fix that

[possamble]

Needlessly close reading and long commentary on chapter 57 and how the audience actually has an extremely limited view on what Marcille has been like over the course of her life.

I am once again thinking about how pre-dungeon Marcille is so quiet and stoic that she seems like a completely different person. How jarring chapter 57 is for the audience. Like you have Marcille, who has been just the most blindingly expressive person with resting baby face

And then the chapter drops a title page of Marcille hearing from Falin for the first time in four years and it's like.

Who is that. Genuinely. Would you even realize that's Marcille without the context clues?

And then the chapter just keeps coming in with the sucker punches.

We have SEEN Marcille meet strangers. It was never with this understated of a smile.

literally who the hell is this. the few times the audience gets to see some Signature Marcille Faces that they're used to is when she finally gets to see Falin again

when she's testing out her new spells

(and when Laios and Falin are fantasizing about her being their damsel in distress, funnily enough)

And then finally. Finally you get to a fully recognizable Marcille when she fucking DIES and comes back to life to geek out about necromancy.

We know she loves magic. We know she loves Falin. So it's not so surprising that she wouldn't be able to keep a mask up when thinking or talking about the things she loves. But why the mask in the first place? Where does it come from? It's tempting to think that, maybe, Falin's departure just hurt her so much that it turned her into a quiet person.

But that's only half true. If you go back, the first instance you see of this incredibly mild personality is actually introduced much earlier, in chapter 17.

What if she was always like that. What if her default after her father died was to hold people at arm's length, to never really emote past being polite and friendly. What if Falin was the first person who was able to bring her out of her shell, and when she left, Marcille just went back to how she was.

And when comparing her detached demeanour with someone else...

It's not exact, but wouldn't you say there's a resemblance? Wouldn't you think she might be trying her best to imitate what she saw of her own mother working as an accomplished mage?

It would certainly explain why she's hiding behind her portrait in her nightmare, at least.

We aren't told that Marcille has been distancing herself from everyone around her using a mature and dignified personality she modelled off her mother. But we sure as hell are shown it, I think.

[bowtiepastabitch]

On the other side of the coin, just because they could stay at that job forever doesn't mean they would. I've done the grocery store thing before and I hated it. Was a cashier, and damn good at it, but it was too much one-to-one interaction for me, and that's okay. I've had several other (almost always very low-pay) jobs as well, and some I liked more than others but none of them were end goal.

Because I want to be a historian, and that requires money. I worked those jobs because I needed money to pay for the education to do what I want to do. I was lucky, was able to pay my parents a very low rent while I was saving and then got scholarships to pay tuition and housing, or I would have been stuck working at that stupid grocery store forever. I worked with older people who had no other options, whole-ass adults making just-above-minimum-wage right next to my seventeen-and-saving-for-college self, and it was heartbreaking because some of them went without a lunch break because they needed the hours and couldn't afford to eat anyway.

There's nothing wrong with loving a "low level" job and wanting to stay there forever, and there's nothing wrong with wanting a "higher level" job. Some people are happier doing blue collar work, and some people are happier at a desk. Both are good, and a functioning society REQUIRES that we have people working (and working well) at all "levels". The benefits of paying everyone a living wage include: better service, people who want to "move up" being able to save up and do so, better quality of life for every single human being, better lives for young people especially those born lower class, decreased homelessness (a lot of unhoused people literally have or want jobs they just don't pay enough to pay rent), improved racial gender and disability equality by fighting current systemic injustice, better health outcomes accross the working class, more parents home with kids instead of working multiple jobs, and like a million other things that didn't come to mind in the five minutes I spent making this list.

The benefits of not doing so, you may ask? The consumer-capitalist colonizer state functions by enforcing systems of inequality. Homelessness and unemployment are not a bug in the system, they are essential to it working smoothly. People of color, women, disabled people, anyone born into the working class; the gaps in pay and wealth distribution are 100% intentional. So they convince you that working-class people demanding better wages are "lazy" for not wanting a "better" job to distract you from the fact that the system is working exactly how it was intended: to benefit the class of wealthy, powerful people whos existence depends on it.

People who say this are literally saying that they prefer for the workers to all be inexperienced and desperately looking for other jobs. But they somehow also expect good service.

[weirdglassthing]

GRIMMORNING NATION RISEEE. Criminal lack of grimmorning on this site so I’m making it my personal mission to spread my propaganda

Ignore whatevers going on with torbek, even I don’t know. I just drew some lines for his body and called it a day

[reengeen]

NEW OBSESSION AQUIRED

[kaidatheghostdragon]

Do deliveries get treated like the case files? Business meetings? Taxes?

Lets see how much i can flex my knowledge of societal logistics.

America runs on a "just in time" delivery system where long-haul truckers are the backbone. If there are any truckers/postal workers that are from or regularly work with amity, maybe theyre immune, but AP grocery stores, restaurants, gas stations, and anything else dependant on out-of-town shipping is gonna notice a sharp decline deliveries as various shipments are increasingly forgotton, and if refunds arent an automated service, they are gonna lose a lot of money as calls and meetings get ignored for being "unimportant, dont look here."

In fact, automation might actually be a saving grace here, as workers are just following shipment orders, which are largely a menial task. However, ANYTHING that falls through the cracks, whether a glitch in the system, a shipping mistake, etc, is gonna be a total loss for Amity as corrections require someone to follow up on a complaint that will be eternally ignored. Grocery stores and gas stations will be hit the hardest, most likely, as large shipments like that aren't automated for financial security reasons - its literally a person's job to manage stock and know what to order and when.

Amity is gonna have to quickly learn how to be self-sustaining, which would throw this idea into a deconstruction au starting at the end of that episode. There is a solution that occurred to me while writing this: a management business slash distribution center with 100% Amity Park employment, but stationed at a nearby town. All shipments, orders, and mail to AP is routed through that business, which falls outside of the perception filter, and they handle complications and shipping mistakes, and all shipping from the distribution center to AP homes and businesses are handled by AP truckers.

The extra hassle is gonna be a big incentive to become self-sustaining. An extra distribution center causes a lot of logistical problems. For one, it adds an extra day or two to shipping times, which decreases fresh food quality - goodbye bananas. (However, I learned recently that the midwest has a native fruit tree that grows something called pawpaw fruits, which allegedly taste like bananas.) Secondly, lots of things are regulated: medications, chemicals, etc, so specialized businesses dependant on specific regulated resources are gonna be a hassle and a half to keep stocked up. Even little things - like co2 canisters for the refillable whipped cream cans that restaurants use - you dont think about until its a problem. Labeling the AP distribution center as, well, a distribution center SHOULD solve most of those problems because its clear that its a transportation service and not like a laundering or trafficking scheme or something.

But building and setting up the distribution center will take months, which means Amity is going to suffer a chronic shortage of a lot of modern conveniences, both big and small, for that long.

And thats just the world of shipping.

Chain businesses that answer to a foreign HQ are gonna go under, as HQ continues to drop the ball on logistical needs of the AP branch.

Banks are gonna lose their federal insurance because someone on the outside keeps forgetting they exist. Their gonna struggle keeping fresh bills in circulation as they aren't receiving replacements.

Non local insurance policies can't be created, ended, or updated, as everyone in AP is left on hold indefinitely. Local insurance policies are the only option, and they are VERY aware of the constant property damage.

In fact, government funding for maintenance, roads, and relief grants are gonna stop coming in, which leaves Vlad, as the only local billionaire invested in Amity, as the only source of maintenance money. That is a massive power-play available for him, OR a great redemption arc if you prefer.

On the plus side, the IRS disappeared basically overnight, so the 20-30% (idk, just a guess) federal/state (does illinois have state tax?) tax revenue that Amity generates is now suddenly free to circulate internally - because whats the point in paying taxes if no one is enforcing it? - which will be a massive relief for all the other financial problems they're now suffering. If Amity doesnt already have a city tax, it would likely be downright necessary to install at this point, taking up the revenue that is no longer going to state/federal, in order to recapture the costs of maintainance which now fall solely on the town itself.

The slow climb of technology will stop as newer models of phones, cars, computers, etc, being brought in are hit or miss. This isn't a big issue if the ambiant ecto was already causing interference here. Between this and the sporadic gas/diesel shipments, the Fentons stand to make a lot of money off of ecto-powered tech to fill the void. An everyone knows au usually implies good Fentons, so they could be relied on to, in turn, use that income to continue to improve Amity and keep it circulating locally.

For utilities, I'm not entirely sure how local or regional they are for Illinois. If Amity is lucky enough to have a power plant, then electricity isn't an issue. The Fentons are also more than capable of busting out solar panels and industrial sized batteries, not to mention generators running on ambient ecto (which is a canon invention) if the city is starting to have brownouts from lack of maintainence/attention.

Water is the same - anything on local wells is safe, but if Amity is watered by the great lakes, there might be maintainence issues again. Again, I dont know illinois well enough to guess which is the case here. The biggest water usage is farmland, which literally measure how much food they can potentially grow by how much water they have access to, so infrastructure to keep the farms closest to Amity running will be the highest priority, especially if Amity has to become self-sustaining.

Internet and cell coverage are utilities, which will now fall on Amity Park to build and maintain locally. Again, the Fentons will probably have this handled. I'm not an expert at how cell towers work, but my understanding is that they're owned by the entity that built them, sometimes a big cell company, sometimes a smaller cell company, sometimes a local infrastructure business, and usage is either leased out to some/all the big companies, which means that the tower counts as part of their network, or they're charged per device that connects, which falls under roaming. Dont quote me on that. I might be entirely wrong! At any rate, AP will likely have cell service, its mostly a question of how expensive it is and whether or not its a money sink because cell companies keep forgetting to pay for using the towers, or at worst, whether or not amity's cell service is isolated from the rest of the world because its a constant hassle to maintain licenses and connection to the global network.

Internet, otoh, is black magic to me and i dont know how it would be affected. If it has to be run locally, maybe Amity decides to be one of those cities that sets itself up to have free wifi available anywhere within city limits, so the City of Amity Park is the only entity that has to deal with the hassle of maintainence with the outside world, and civilians and businesses just piggy back off of it.

I realized I haven't touched on emergency services yet. Amity might already have a local 911 dispatch because of rampant ghost attacks to separate them from nearby towns. If they dont, then 911 isn't gonna work if their phone service doesn't connect globally, and thats gonna have to be rectified quickly. I'd imagine Amity Park is large enough to have a handful of police and firefighter buildings, multiple emergency clinics, and at least one hospital. Local 911 dispatch without access to the outside world means no relying on neighbors when the local response teams are overextended, which is normal protocol. Amity will have to overcompensate with extra cops, firefighters, and emts or settle with having occasional "bad days." Probably the former, considering the constant ghost attacks.

The hospital probably isnt equipped to handle everything, as hospitals tend to specialize in one particular field of long-term recovery and trade patients with nearby hospitals to fit their long-term recovery needs after handling emergency first aid and diagnosis. They have to go a similar route as the dedicated AP distribution center, placing AP employees in the neighboring town hospitals to maintain inter-patient logistics and ordering resources through those hospitals instead of directly. If AP hospital has a specialty, its gonna be liminality care, and most of their resources regarding that can come from the Fentons or the ghost zone directly.

Speaking of the ghost zone, it can potentially provide a great deal of relief. Yes, the portal is what caused all of Amity's problems, but in an everyone knows au, it also represents a potential trade route. Allies like the yetis and dora's kingdom would be more than happy to provide relief, aid, supplies, and even a free workforce if danny just asked while Amity was in a bad way. At that point, Amity might be even more inclined to remained cut off from the rest of the world to protect their allies and trade agreements.

In summary, the reality guantlet episode could be what turns amity into a secret hidden liminal eldritch city.

Why doesn't the justice league know about Amity Park?

Okay so it's been a bit sonce I watched the show but one of the things in DpxDC is the anti-ecto acts, which I love, but correct me if I'm wrong, I THINK ??? they only show up in reality trip? SO: What if Danny, when using the gauntlet to undo everything, also got rid of the Anti-Ecto acts? but this is babys first time editing reality so he uh Fucks Up A Lil'. As a result when Danny used the reality gauntlet to wipe the AEA from existence he accidentally wiped Amity Park from perception. A big 'nothing matters over here' jedi mind trick, and now no ones looking at Amity. So, the Justice League actually WERE looking into and monitoring the situation in Amity, but when the perception filter closed them off, all of that suddenly went ignored.

This is noticed when someone (Alfred, Dick, Tim, literally anyone) realises theres just. A BIG dusty pile of case files semi abandoned somewhere in the cave when going through a (time period)ly cave cleaning.

They put it down because it's Not Important.

They come back to finish the cleaning the next day and do the exact same thing, but there's nothing to actually distract them this time and it pings as weird. Because why would case files be not important? They are by definition important, because only things flagged as important go into case files.

They try to get someone else to read it, because as long as they don't read the information in the file, they don't put it down.

That person goes to read it, gets a line in and then says something like 'that isn't important' and goes to leave. Person A pushes it and person B ALSO catches on.

Que the Batfam trying to figure out hey, what the fuck actually?

Meanwhile, how is Amity fairing? Canon compliant everything's going alright? Or have knock on effects to No One Look Here started to show?

[archiepelago]

alternate surface au inspired by a few ive seen around on tumblr :3

[snabeus]

hhhough barbie movie thoughts…

i don’t think the “im going to see my gynecologist” line isn’t only just for us to know that barbie is fully human. the scene of her in the real world for a second (at least to me) seemed to imply barbie was getting some sort of dream job and found her purpose. but no. she’s just going to see a gynecologist. but the way she is so EXCITED… the way she’s taking the joy in this mundane thing that lots of women go through… the barbie movie is about enjoying just being ALIVE

TERFS GO AWAY 🍅 🍅 🍅