#anyways the point of this post is that YES this is what I mean. Wilson is not nice or normal he is a freak and I love him so fucking much

[lucaswarmhotchocolate]

[cal-daisies-and-briars]

🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞 dude I am going absolutely insane over this story (Chris is home!!! family drama!!!! uh oh!!!!!)

THANK YOU!!!! Final chapter writing is IN PROGRESS.

144 or 1k - whatever comes first!

---

The family. The partner. The sense of absolute belonging. Something he built for himself, and something he hopes, and believes, he’ll get to keep. 

Buck was right about him and Eddie. They are great. They slip into the romantic parts of a relationship fairly easily. Like it was a switch they had both been fighting not to turn on anyway. It just seems like a small step from where they already were. Just a new level of a pre-existing affection. 

Well, not entirely.

Sex is tricky. Not because they’re incompatible or anything like that. There’s a hell of an attraction and desire to take things further, even if there’s a bit of a learning curve for Eddie. One Buck is obviously familiar with. No, the problem is actually opportunity. Between work and kids, there’s not actually a lot of open moments. 

They each have a two bedroom house. Their kids are way too different ages to have sleepovers together. So sleepovers for Buck and Eddie are a limited thing. Especially since they live so close together. Eddie does invest in a pullout couch for Dove to crash on, which makes Carla watching both kids easier. And they do have those post-shift, still during the school day moments to themselves. But most of those moments end with a joint nap. 

Whatever. They’re working through it. Maddie has offered to take Dove for a sleepover anytime.That’ll help. 

It’s kind of a busy time for them to get together. Christmas, then New Years, then Dove’s seventh birthday. It all happens in a whirlwind. Like a blur of holiday colors, big meals, and baked goods. Despite all that, they manage to give Dove two birthday parties. One with her friends from school and one with the whole 118 family. Considering she’s never had one before, two feels like the least Buck could do. And he thinks he’s right. It’s the perfect way to kick off the year. 

Half a year ago, he’d met her for the second time as a scared, lonely six year-old. Now, she’s a bright, chatty seven year-old, who knows her place in the world, too. She has a whole family looking out for her, celebrating her. He thinks she doesn’t feel alone anymore, and that the fear of losing what she’s gained is getting less and less potent every day.

ii.

The Wilsons’ adoption of Mara goes through in mid-February. Which, of course, means there’s another big party. One that everyone is overjoyed to attend. Not the least of them, Buck.

“This will be you soon,” he whispers to Dove as Karen cuts Mara’s cake. He kisses her cheek and she grins at him. He has his court date with the judge. He’s confident it’s going to happen. It doesn’t feel like a maybe anymore, or a hopefully. It feels like a soon. 

“What are you most excited for, Mara? Now that you’re adopted?” Athena asks her at one point during the party.

“Hmm,” Mara thinks. “Well, I’m really excited that I can write Mara Wilson on all my school assignments now. And all the teachers will know I’m Denny’s sister!”

“Careful,” Chim says, winking at Denny. “That might get you in trouble.”

“Hey!” Denny laughs. “No way!” 

It’s a sweet moment. A happy one. Buck doesn’t think too much more about it until later, on the drive home, when Dove brings it up again. 

“Dad?” She asks from the backseat, voice adopting that quiet little tone when she gets when she’s curious but nervous of her question. He thinks, at some point, someone must have shot her curiosity down in the past. He understands that feeling and he hates it for her. It’s getting better though.

“Yes?” He replies.

“When you adopt me, will I get to use your last name at school?” She asks. 

Buck smiles, pleased with the question.

“Absolutely,” he answers. “If that’s what you want to do.”

She has no attachment to Florek. He can’t imagine she’d want to keep it. If she wanted to, she could. But he’s absolutely changing Baby Girl Florek to a real name, the second he can. 

“Yes, please,” she says. “I want to.”

“Then you can,” he confirms. “We need to pick a middle name for you, too. You don’t have one.”

“What’s your middle name?” She asks.

“Phillip,” he answers. “It’s just my dad’s name. My parents weren’t feeling, uh, creative…. When I was born.”

“What will my middle name be?” She asks.

“I don’t know yet,” he admits. “We have to choose one that you like. And we’ll get rid of the Baby Girl part, too, okay? No one will ever call you that again.”

“So my whole name will be new?” She asks.

“Kind of, yeah,” he says. “You’ll be Dove Middle Name Buckley.”

She giggles. “My middle name can’t be Middle Name.” 

“I know,” he chuckles. “We’ll find something.” 

Dove thinks for a second. “Is Mara’s whole name going to be new, too?”

“No, honey,” he answers. “They’re just changing her last name to Wilson.”

“Why not?”

“Well, because Mara’s situation is a bit different,” Buck says. “She has a first and middle name that her birth parents picked and I think she wants to keep those.”

“But my birth parents didn’t pick anything for me,” Dove says quietly. 

Buck’s heart twists. 

“No, sweetie,” Buck answers. “But that’s because it was a hard situation, okay? Not because of anything about you.”

“Maybe…” She starts, then trails off. 

“Maybe what?” Buck asks. 

“Maybe you can pick a new one for me,” she says in a very tiny voice.

“A new… A new name?” Buck asks, not sure he’s following. 

“Mhm,” she confirms. 

“Like your middle name?” Buck asks. “You want me to pick it.”

“No,” she whispers. “The other one.”

“You want me to pick a new first name for you?” Buck asks.

“Can you do that?” 

Buck is a little thrown off. He doesn’t know what to think. He’s driving. He can’t exactly turn around and look at her. So he needs to process this without her facial expressions.

[calfrxca]

[JUDGEMENT]

no way, cal returns from his art hiatus to post gay people and returns from hiatus for good :00 ??? no- im. im still on hiatus, my escapades to vatican city and specifically st peter's basillica last month just caused some brainworms LMFAO, i have. way too much to say about this specific piece and how my reading of the illiad and the war that killed achilles made it so much stronger

also before you ask, yes this is based on michelangelo's pietà in the vatican, dont even TRY to @ me

my yappings aside

ordo (the guy with the fuckass pipe in his chest) belongs to @gemsbokk !!!

meanings and yappings regarding this piece below the cut as usual, i dont expect anyone to read this, i just need to get this out or i'll actually EXPLODE

(upright) improvement, forgiveness, change of perspectives, absolution and rebirth

(reversed) oppression, lack of self awareness, failure, repeated mistakes, and self loathing

generally, in roman mythos as a whole, there's this whole idea that cannibalism, incest, murder, whatever, doesnt apply to the olympians because of their status as "The Divine" and any mortal who tries to do the same will be met with divine punishment from said olympians [many times, a mortal's fatal flaw is hubris, see achilles who believed he was immortal and a god because of how successful he was on the battlefield; icarus who flew too close to the sun and died, a literal modern day saying in the west for man's own hubris, etc] and if i remember correctly, some renditions of the illiad depict the myceaneans as cannibals. the war that killed achilles specifically writes:

"In the apocryphal Acts of Andres (dating to the 3rd century A.D.), there is 'a city of the cannibals,' which is identified as Myrmidon; it is possible that this account taps into some more ancient, and savage, lost tradition."

and my recent escapades to the roman colosseum revealed that the romans regularly consumed blood because they believed it had health benefits to it and they thought it cured epilepsy [paper written by the NBCI on this topic]; is there any historical basis proving that the consumption of blood actually had health benefits? no clue, nor do i really feel like checking these exact logistics at the moment (but if anyone does, feel free to @ me about it, i love weird historical shit like this), the actual effects behind it are moot, what's relevant here is the idea

the idea of consumption and cannibalism turning one into a god have the same effects as how, in greek mythos, the gods were often depicted engaging in acts such as incest, cannibalism, whatever, acts that we as mortals define as "immoral" and "unjust," not only just to seperate them from humans but also show that morals are a very fickle, human thing

anyways, my point here is there's something so raw about tacet losing it to the point he's not even just eating mechanical parts, but he's also eating organic parts, see: organic hearts, guts, kidneys, the like

"No matter how many men you eat boy, you will not be a god."

i mean tacet himself masks his desperation for touch and sensuality with literal blood and guts, which then creates a feedback loop of violence and death, which is a reoccurring theme in greek tragedies; specifically observed and mentioned in emily wilson's translation of the illiad:

"When a man is slain in times of peace, families can gain partial compensation for their loss by exacting a blood-price from the killer. Killers may also be forced to leave the community and take refuge elsewhere, as Patroclus did as a boy after he accidentally killed another boy in an argument over a game; he was adopted by his cousin Peleus and raised beside Achilles, like an older brother. In such cases, the killer's loss of his original home comforts the family in their need for vengeance. But in war, killers recognize no binding obligation to compensate the families of their victims. The only way the bereaved can recoup their losses is to kill the killer—whose comrades will demand vengeance in their turn. Killing begets killing, death begets death, and every loss of life generates further loss of life."

another instance is observed in the emily wilson translation here:

"When it is too late to save a warrior's life, friends and kinsmen may be able at least to save his weapons and his armor. If those have been stripped, the companions of the dead man may at least save his body."

there's a certain trope found in media, especially queer media where cannibalism and consumption are a common metaphor for love (see hannibal and interview with a vampire), and considering their dynamic was written in the midst of a hannibal brainrot im not exactly surprised there's a lot of similarities here

namely, tacet was a cannibalism from the start, starting drinking energon just as a more cost and time efficient way to staying fueled, but it turned into an addiction and eventually was lauded as something holy (there's something to be said here about the christian idea of wine and crackers being symbols of christ's blood and body; communion, the eucharist, whatever); i cant remember if this was canon or not so don't quote me on this

but at some point, tacet convinced ordo to try cannibalism as well, just to "see what would happen," went well enough until ordo got the fuckass pipe in his chest; something something play on the idea of cannibalism is only reserved for the divine; ordo died and tacet lost ordo

queer tragedy is very much a phenomenon found in greek and roman mythos, and well. this feels like it fits

alright im done yapping for now, my head hurts now, thanks for listening to my ted talk

here's some pics from rome and venice as a thanks LMFAO

i'll add image IDs to these once my headache goes away I PROMISE

[anamoon63]

Rather Long Sims 4 Rant

Before I continue with my The Sims 4 stories, it is with sadness that I inform you that the Wilsons recently lost the beautiful celebrity home they had just moved into. I don’t know exactly what happened, what I know is that it happened right after the For Rent EP update (which I didn’t buy or install, but yes, I did update). From that day on, my sims, who were on vacation in Sulani at the time, were unable to get back in the house. Every time they tried to return, the game would get stuck eternally at the loading screen. I tried everything, even evicting them and returning them to the house. Nothing, just the screen kept loading forever.

I also tried to demolish the lot to re-install the house, but every time I did this, (and I tried a lot of times), the game either crashed or kept loading infinitely. After many attempts of a lot of things like repairing the game, resetting it to factory settings, removing my mods folder, restoring saves, and all the solutions I know (I am die hard when it comes to troubleshooting The Sims), I finally decided to leave it alone and accept that my sims would never recover their beloved house and that they had to move.

Now they’re happily living again in Brindleton Bay, in one of the bigger houses there; they are comfortable, and going on with their lives, though I still really miss and long for the other house, which is still sitting there, since I have not been able to demolish it to put a new one. It’s still stuck there, which annoys me to no end cause I like my cities clean and functional, and just knowing that there is an abandoned and inactive house there really upsets me.

I know I could start a new save and install the house in a clean Del Sol Valley, but that would mean Allan and his family would lose all their current social and work relationships, which at this point for me is unthinkable, with all the networking they have established, co-workers, school friends, romances, etc. Plus, what about all the makeovers I did to everyone they knew? I mean, I saved every townie I made over in my library, but would I have to reinstall them one by one? Maybe, but how? I still don’t know much about this game; I know that in The Sims 3 it wouldn’t be a problem for me.

Anyway, the Wilson’s story wasn’t over, it wasn’t difficult to move them, the only thing that hurt me were Allan and Zoe’s awards, trapped in their lost home. But in one of the rare and fortunate times that I was able to enter the bugged house in build mode, I saved the room where the awards were in my library, and then installed it in the Wilson’s new house. That’s how I rescued the awards that now lie on a shelf in Allan and Zoe’s new bedroom. I continued to play and got a lot more photo footage of them, in addition to what I had before the update disaster. By the way, this is the first time I’ve had problems with an update, of any kind. I pride myself in being an expert at troubleshooting The Sims, but I guess I still have a lot to learn regarding The Sims 4, which is a relatively new game for me.

Anyway, I plan to uninstall the entire game soon and reinstall it on my other hard drive cause I’m running out of space and will need more since I plan to get a few other game packs in the future. Once my game is reinstalled, I’d love to be able to demolish the ruined house in Del Sol Valley and, if possible, reinstall it on the cleaned-up lot to give the Wilsons back the home they lost. So, if by any chance someone read this very long post to the end, and has gone through something similar to this, (i.e. not being able to enter a house but also not being able to demolish it in order to reinstall it), please let me know if you were able to solve it and how. Any new ideas, other than everything I already mentioned and all those obvious solutions around on EA’s Q&A, would be welcome.

Sorry for the rant, and thanks for reading this far. 🩷

Note: The house is Famous Mansion, in the Sims 4 Gallery, by emma4101, original by JL_Sims 4. Never had issues with it before.

[kandisheek]

FIC REC WEEK 12 – OTHER MARVEL SHIPS

SAM/BUCKY

just won't do right by glittercake

Pairing: Sam/Bucky Rating: G Words: 7,521 Tags: Jealous Bucky, Idiots in Love, Oblivious Sam

Summary: Sam's eyebrows go up, impressed, and he reaches over to squeeze Torres' shoulder, "This is amazing, kid. Thanks, really." Bucky sits and watches in utter horror as the pink darkens on Torres' cheeks. Oh, he realizes. Oh. Fuck.

Reasons why I love it: Jealous Bucky is just the best. And I love Torres, so having him be the catalyst for some good old Sam-Bucky angsting is fantastic. Sarah is amazing in this too, I love all of their characterizations honestly. This fic is super sweet, and if you haven't already, I hope you check it out for yourself!

Subtlety Not Our Strong Point by copperbadge

Pairing: Sam/Bucky Rating: T Words: 2,944 Tags: Alternate Universe, Engagement, Brunch

Summary: Bucky is not good at proposing, but once he managed, he and Sam were going to let people find out organically. Unfortunately, Tony Stark has never done anything organically in his life.

Reasons why I love it: Whelp, say what you want, but you can't deny it – Bucky's way has its merits. I love this one, Sam and Bucky are so in love, and Tony crashing their plans without even meaning to is fucking hilarious. This fic is really sweet, and I hope you go and check it out for yourself!

show me if you want me (and i will be your friend) by notcaycepollard

Pairing: Sam/Bucky Rating: E Words: 3,027 Tags: Casual Sex, Friends With Benefits, Porn With Feelings

Summary: Bucky's gotta give it to the future for this: they've turned casual sex into a goddamn art. What is a friend with benefits, he types into Google, and spends the next two hours reading about the distinctions between booty calls and friends with benefits and fuck buddies. It’s extremely informative. He’s gonna put it to good use, like, pretty much immediately.

Reasons why I love it: Jesus Christ, this fic is so hot, holy shit. And just as the cherry on top, there are feelings all over it, good, mushy feelings, fuck yes. I love how Bucky ambushes Sam in the beginning and how Sam just goes with it. It's so fun and so sweet and oh my god, you need to read this if you haven't, it's so good!

three words that became hard to say by suzukiblu

Pairing: Sam/Bucky Rating: G Words: 1,924 Tags: Male Friendship, Fluff, Bucky Needs a Hug

Summary: “I wanna step out with Wilson,” Bucky says, audibly traumatized. Steve blinks again, and lowers the shield. “Uh,” he says. “Come again?”

Reasons why I love it: Their voices in this are so perfect, that old-timey forties Brooklyn drawl. I love Steve and Bucky's friendship here, and Steve's need to protect Bucky and keep him happy always is so heartwarming. Plus, Bucky's crush on Sam is the cutest thing ever. I love this fic to bits, and I bet you will too!

what i like about you baby (is how you annoy me daily) by notcaycepollard

Pairing: Sam/Bucky Rating: M Words: 8,951 Tags: Post-Civil War, Bickering, Roommates

Summary: “I’m not sharing my room,” Sam mutters, knowing as he says it that it sounds exactly like he’s a fucking ten year old facing a new sibling. Steve hastily makes what Sam thinks is supposed to be an understanding face. “Of course not,” he says soothingly. “He can bunk in with me, it’s not like we haven’t done it before. It's a twin room, anyway, there's already a spare bed.” Sam guesses a bigger house is out of the question. Whatever; the three of them have spent eight hours crammed in a Mini, it can’t be that bad. It’s not that bad. It’s worse.

Reasons why I love it: Sam and Bucky being asshole roommates while Steve despairs at them from the sidelines is something I never knew I needed. This fic is so fucking good, funny and heartfelt and adorable in turns, with fantastic dialogue and characterization. I love it so much, and I hope you go and read it for yourself, because it's amazing!

[marc--chilton]

idea: alphas in rut have their chest cavity expand such that they are physically incapable of speaking quietly (the way neanderthals couldn't, if my linguistics professor is to be believed). i think this would fit well with bellows, but i also think it would be hilarious.

do you like this idea? i'm picturing wilson trying to say something quietly and it coming out about twenty decibels higher than he intended and him becoming Flustered about it.

also, is it possible to get sick while in rut or heat? just imagining the misery of having a head cold at the same time as your body is telling you to find a mate. would not be pleasant. and and and does vicodin interfere with house's normal heat processes? like wilson's whiskey dick?

oooo but like what if chest expansion, but instead of it going max boom, it just toes the impolite volume level so wilson (who is canonically anxious in conversation anyway) would be putting his whole brainpower into Being Quiet, which of course means he fucks it up more. but he stops getting embarrassed about it when he's on house arrest for his rut bc soundproofing is just commonplace in omegaverse housing, and he physically can't be quiet for his ruts since he's just chatty in bed as normal anyway.

and yes, you can very much get sick. post-heat syndrome is a thing itself, not a virus so much as it is just the body struggling to acclimate back to normal functions -- and is more commonplace in omegas who don't get proper care during their heats, like someone forcing them to eat at least a little something and have a drink even if they don't feel like it (wilson manages to trick house into eating during his heats by starting to eat whatever himself. it sets off that little bell of Want To Steal Wilson's Food so he does. realizes usually he eats whatever he steals, but he's not hungry.... but he has to prove his point so he just glares at wilson while he eats. it rarely ever fails)

house's vicodin misuse + chronic pain (his leg spasms terribly during his heats) both contribute to him not being able to slick enough for sex sometimes. he's no stranger to little blue pills either so this is just another bitter point for him to hate himself for. not only is he a male omega, the most uncomfortable gender for his father, but he's not even a good one. only ever came to know he was pregnant once and in the same breath was told he wasn't anymore, we're so sorry. now he can't even do the barest minimum of being an easy fuck for the too-good-to-him alpha that is wilson

(it's a stupid self-pitying spiral and he knows it. it's just familiar fare at this point though, and he's a creature of habit)

[bi-sapphics]

do you remember when people where cancelling domo wilson for saying dyke in the bisexual anthem?

yes ! i pointed it out in a tweet on my bitwt acc before i went inactive for personal reasons but i don't think it got any attention.

it's actually what made me ask back in 2020 about the discourse surrounding bi women reclaiming it and i'll always be ashamed that i just... blindly accepted one of my mutual's responses that "it means lack of attraction to men" without doing any of my own research. to be fair, i had some sort of understanding already at the time that i would have gotten dogpiled for arguing either way lmao.

to me, i think this particular situation had a lot of lesbians mad because the song calls them out for (ironically) weaponizing the word against bisexuals the same way they've always done with 'bihet' and 'halfbian' ─ just ask the twitter user with the latter as their username, they get harassed for having reclaimed it after it was used against them all the time!

it also reminds me of how an old tumblr user, pinkfemme, who was notoriously biphobic for a multitude of reasons regarding keeping bi sapphics out of our own history, was completely fine with an anon in her inbox calling bi women "undyked" without even bothering to say anything about it in the answer post. and then has the audacity to deny bi women ever have the slur targeted at them for being bi from cishets of all people? lol sure

anyways back to the main point, i don't actually know how famous domo wilson is so i don't have a clue how much of the hate and cancelling she even saw, but i like to think that if she did see any then she would have just shrugged it off as proving the point. we get accused of hurting others for speaking up about our own experiences with biphobia all the time, so it makes perfect sense to me.

(^^ tell me if i got wilson's pronouns wrong and i will go back and correct my paragraph. /gen)

(and if anyone reading wants to accuse me of claiming lesbians oppress bisexuals or that 'bihet' is a slur... don't. because i'm not. bigotry ≠ oppression)

[rafasbiscuits]

five comfort characters, five tags

thanks for including me to be one of the special five tags @kingfisherprince and @yoellglia I'm so honoured omg🙈

ANYWAYS. Five characters only is IMPOSSIBLE. I have tons but..these are what pops up in my mind first.

1. Peter Quill!! Honestly idk if he's number 1. But this are not by rankings cause I'm picky about comfort characters and they're all number 1. I love Peter he's so funny, so charismatic and soooo baby, (and so traumatized wow) The first time I saw him I KNEW he was going to be my favourite Guardian along w Rocket and Groot.

2. Dean Winchester. Hello my traumatized baby, look at him. He's so sweet and cute, despite all that trauma and stuff going on in his life he's still so kind and he tries not to continue the trauma chain and I'm so proud of him. He's my fav SPN character along with Bobby Singer, Crowley, and Castiel <3

3. (omg suddenly there's too much characters in my head) UHHHH. OKAY MO GUAN SHAN!! MOMO FROM 19 DAYS MANHWA. yes. I mean the whole manhwa is my comfort manhwa, I'm always sooo excited for new chapters but momo is my fav lil kitten he's so agressive and cute and baby, always getting into fights and definitely has some sort of freaking PTSD or something but He Tian's there to love him. So it's fine. TianShan couple goals.

4. Charles Xavier. Again, all of this is not ranked and if it was, Charles will be up a little bit. Charles Xavier, fav telepath and a cutie pie. He has mommy issues, and daddy issues ig, and in the comics he probably traumatized his son I mean. Look at his son. But that's besides the point! He's the sweetest, in terms of characters I relate to Erik more, and I'm more of an Erik Lehnsherr mindset cause c'mon. Mutants are superior idc but Erik is more serious than Charles, not my thing nono. So I have to have my sweetheart Charles here. Him and that tree scene is so cute, him when he found out that girl has a husband was even MORE cute. He's the cutest I can't-

5. Sam Wilson. Fav buff guy, smol smol bean 🤏🤏 I want to keep him in my pocket. He's doing great, unlike all the other characters I don't think he is that traumatized despite almost dying in an explosion, got dusted by Thanos, his best friend growing old( like rotting old) and giving him the responsibility of being Captain America and the whole states in his hand, and he definitely had identity crisis for a while. But that's just common marvel trauma. anyways, he's the guy, he's the cutest, him and his lil wizards, aliens and stuff speech was so cute. His whole character is a comfort.

Honorable mention of Iruka, Shinya Hiragi, Gojo, Loki, Shuri, and more I can't think of rn (I just woke up guys)

Tagginggggg hmmmmm. I wish to tag as much as I want but it's 5 and I have to play by the rules so sorry other mutuals, yk I love you all so much. Tags: @thefrootloopman @swaggypsyduck @janesurlife @tam-is-blogging @ponderingrabbit-blog (if u guys liked this post and I didn't tag u, in my mind I did, in another universe I did, IM FEELING GUILTY RN U GUYS ARE SPECIAL TOO OKAY!!! I'll tag u guys in another ask game I PINKY PROMISE)

[gay-jesus-probably]

First of all, didn't know that about testosterone, so definitely sharing that particular PSA.

Anyways, that point about eating junk food being better than nothing is absolutely correct, cannot stress that enough. Putting aside the question of nutrients, your body needs a basic amount of energy to keep going every day, and a calorie is literally just a unit of measurement for that particular energy. For most people, between 2000-3000 calories a day is what you need to maintain your baseline, and if you're under 1500 calories a day, congratulations, you're starving. ...That's a very bad thing, to be clear. Starving puts your body under extreme stress and damages your long term health.

Furthermore, remember, that 2000-3000 number is just the baseline; the human body is always doing a lot of things at any given moment, even if you're just laying in bed all day doing literally nothing you'll still need at least 1500 calories a day. Maybe you're not doing anything, but your organs are still hard at work keeping you alive. Going about your usual daily business will mean more calories, and if you're under more physical strain than usual, guess what that means, it's a higher caloric requirement.

Going through puberty? Your body is under massive stress at all times, you definitely need more calories. Having your period? Your uterus is having regular contractions for up to a week to shed its inner liner, and your bone marrow has to make a lot of new blood, you need more calories. Is it really cold out? Your endocrine system needs to work harder to keep your core temperature up, you need more calories. Are you exercising? You need more calories.

Not to circle back to the Antarctica stuff again, but a good example of that is how the Terra Nova expedition rather infamously ended in tragedy, with the entire five man South Pole team dying on the way back. They were all eating around 4400 calories a day, but Robert Scott, Edward Wilson and Henry Bowers starved to death - the British refused to use sled dogs like literally everyone else, so after all their ponies died (yes they brought ponies to Antarctica instead of Huskies, no I don't know what the fuck they were thinking) they were left manhauling all their supplies... and manhauling across Antarctica means they were burning between 7000-10,000 calories a day. Hence why the last three survivors wound up quietly dying of starvation in their tent. The other two members of the team, Edgar Evans and Lawrence Oates, died earlier in the journey. Evans probably died of head trauma, as he abruptly collapsed and died one day after having fallen and hit his head on the ice several times, while Oates committed suicide about two weeks before the other three died - he had severe frostbite and gangrene in his hands and feet, and was lethally slowing their travel speed, but the other three refused to leave him. He forced the matter by leaving the tent during a blizzard one night, ensuring the others would have to leave him behind, to give them a small chance of survival.

...That stuff about Oates is totally irrelevant to the intuitive eating thing, I just can't talk about the Terra Nova expedition without bringing him up, man went out like a hero. On his own birthday too. In other news this post is still a thinly veiled excuse for me to infodump about early Antarctic exploration, it's all just so neat! Sorry about getting depressing there, but I can make up for it; enjoy this photo from the Scottish expedition of 1902-1904, where a very confused penguin is serenaded with the bagpipes.

As a general rule, if you're having food cravings, you should probably pay attention to that, because it's usually a sign that your body needs something. Like, if you've just finished a workout and are suddenly desperately craving fries? Maybe you're low on salt, you did just sweat a whole bunch. Period cravings for junk food? Your body's under some stress and working hard, you need energy, and foods with a lot of fat and/or sugar are an easy way to get that.

Back in the early 1900's when exploring Antarctica was all the rage, y'know what was a major part of everyones daily rations? Butter. Just butter. The men out on the sledging teams would have cravings to eat entire sticks of butter with nothing else, so that was included in their rations. And that happened because under those extreme circumstances, their bodies desperately needed as many calories as possible, so their diet consisted mainly of butter, chocolate, and animal fat. Eating entire sticks of butter was the healthiest possible diet for them.

That's an extreme example of course, but my point is, there's no such thing as inherently Good or Bad food. Anything that's edible can be healthy under the right circumstances, just like anything can be an unhealthy choice under the wrong circumstances. Your body knows what it needs. Listen to it. Unless you're actively going through a serious medical situation, you do not need a tightly restricted diet. Diet culture is a scam, body fat is natural and healthy, food is good for you, and calories are the fuel your body needs to power its continued survival.

[exittapes]

…And it was then that the high really kicked in… I am enveloped by an artificial liquid that can stimulate through impenetrable material… The idea of having a politician to represent you is a holdover from a time before mass-communication and they don't deserve a job in our economy. Only the wealthy need the political system to protect themselves from poor people protecting each other. Ask any parent, a lack of responsibility in a person's life can destroy their ambitions towards success. Not having a vote that matters has caused the elderly to crest this nation on the back of their old ideas. And they've made revolution near-impossible. But ideas can still alter the course of the land's majesty. Where our true royalty is in the beauty of the lives that either have to go without or have to chosen to live modestly. The many just need power. How much time do we waste on trivial resolutions for the accruement of technology deadweight? Could that effort be spent controlling the rebuilding of our nation? As voting reminds me of who we are in a yearly standardized test of our empathy, we must remember that many are still confused about where they stand. I think more voting equates to a better education. Where most youth in the last thirty-plus years have to learned read at a "higher level" thanks to an involvement in the latest social constructs, whether that is messaging each other online or posting their earliest opinions that they've yet to overcome, we've been forced to listen to those who've prevented their own inner-dialogue from advancing through privilege, religiosity, false modesty and ensuring that control has its outlets for continuing unimpeded by the conditions generated their remorseless killing throughout the rest of the world. They do want unity. They only wish for everyone to pray to their morning beverages that they have a job tomorrow, as do the politicians that know their employment is a worthless luxury next to the people's ability to dictate policy through direct-action. Which is what a monthly online voting promises. We will need a new president every four weeks or so. To sign what the people themselves have voted into existence. And we could just hire animals to sign at that point, honestly. From a randomized list of every single one of them. …During the period of phasing out our politicians, we should hire them like we do class presidents in public schools, to commune in generating opinions for new legislation to be signed by the citizens… To teach us how they run the machinery… "Yeah, sure, run it into the ground…" as a poet once said… Robert Anton Wilson once said, paraphrased, that the largest conspiracy on Earth is of the dumb to keep everyone as stupid as their idiot children… And our world is built with as many crutches as possible for such children earn these titles… How many ingredients in foods provide us with nothing but genotoxicity and how addictive is that state of artificial symbiosis in our bodies? These demonic boxes of overpriced goods are another reality tunnel that the mind cannot often recognize is affecting their own ability to protect what makes us civil… Do you really believe that there is a form of dieting that is not addictive? When your routine of just waking up is not usually what the body demands and yet does anyway because the world we've built is an antihuman nightmare… Accept that our lives are more dangerous than the ones on television to sanity of our neighborhoods… Because what we do never stops permeating around us… Meaning an abused child can destroy a city block faster than the garbage truck not showing up… What William S. Burroughs might've referred to as a situation with The Nova Heat written all over it… Let's talk about aliens… I've never been abducted but I've encountered multiple inter-dimensional entities offering their own literature and seen unidentified flying objects paint with the clouds themselves… Yes, I am an experienced communicator with many forms of angelic technology… I've built boxes of rain with the sound of manic-depressive automobile karaoke…

[lovelybarnes]

sad- b. barnes

pairings: bucky barnes x reader, sam wilson, steve rogers, natasha romanoff, tony stark, wanda maximoff, kate bishop, scott lang warnings: flustered!bucky, maybe a little ooc but i had so much fun with this about: bucky with a crush a/n: so i have a request asking for bucky who wasn’t a ladies man in the 40s and gets really flustered, and i wrote this wayyy before but it kind of fits?? posting this for now but i did get another idea for this bucky, so. expect it. anyways got this prompt and so happy with it ha

“this is getting sad,” sam mumbles to steve, craning his neck to side-eye the avengers at the table. natasha is next to sam, not even needing to turn to know what sam was talking about, just nodding resignedly.

“it was sad a month ago,” she argues quietly, flipping through a magazine. “it was also sad a week ago when bucky fell down the stairs because she smiled at him. this is not new.”

steve snorts without meaning to, pathetically covering it up with a laugh when you look up from your game to squint at him. “i hope captain america isn’t talking shit. ‘would look very bad for america.”

steve clears his throat.

“but accurate,” you continue with a small shake of your head, organizing the cards you have in your hands while wanda seeps in her turn. meanwhile, scott, tony, and kate stare at her with wide eyes, eyes flickering from her hands to the pile on the table. you’re distracted by the group on the couch, and bucky is distracted by the cute way your eyebrows furrow, your lips forming an unintentional pout.

“you know what else is sad?” natasha starts. “a group of grown people so fuckin’ into a card game. stop staring holes into wanda’s head.”

you hum, not quite believing natasha’s distraction. “what do you think they’re talking about?” you ask bucky, meeting the eyes that were busy scanning you. the surprised blue makes a deep warmth start bubbling in your stomach, static all the way until it reaches your cheeks.

“uh—yeah,” bucky replies dumbly, forcing his eyes off of you to look down at the floor, coughing lightly, a hand scratching at the nape of his neck. “um, what?”

“nat, sam, and steve. they’ve been whispering the entire time we’ve been playing. but they got louder when you came. i think it’s us.”

“us? us what?” bucky gulps, feeling embarrassed that you’ve reduced him to a bumbling idiot that chokes on air at the word us referring to bucky and you slipping from your lips.

“i think they’re talking about us. what do you think is so interesting?” you wonder, cocking your head slightly and capturing bucky’s eyes again.

“i don’t��i don’t know,” bucky responds, observing the color of your irises in the light. wanda finally decides on a card, and scott and tony groan while kate yelps in excitement when they see it.

“i heard them say you fell down the stairs. is that true? are you okay?” you’re looking at him again, genuine concern for him in your eyes that makes him feel like he’s going to fall off his chair. isn’t he supposed to be a spy?

bucky chuckles awkwardly. “yeah… last week, j’st missed a step, i’m fine.”

you laugh. “you missed a step? you don’t even miss steps in dancing. i’d know, i was the one stepping on your toes the entire night of the gala.” tony is muttering to himself about the game, collecting cards over and over again because kate cheated and arranged the cards expertly. tony is groaning continually, whining about his growing situation.

steve snaps suddenly, pausing when he realizes what he did and shrinking back into the couch. “that’s sad, too,” he whispers to sam and natasha, wanting to be included. “he wouldn’t stop dancing with her the whole night even if she stepped on his feet half the night. y’know he hadn’t danced since the forties?”

“that’s sweet,” natasha rebuts, followed by sam nodding.

sighing, steve crosses his arms. “fine, when he walked into a wall yesterday because she was laughing.”

sam nods, pointing at steve. “yes. that’s sad.”

“there is something wrong with this pile,” tony insists, exclaiming when he finally gets a card he can use. “got it! suck it, idiots, i’m winning this thing.”

“you have like eight-hundred cards,” kate points out while scott collects cards.

“i’m sorry, did i ask?” tony replies, and kate reels back in offended surprise, scoffing.

“i’m gonna ask you somethi-”

“we need to mix up this pile. i’m not getting anything,” scott whines.

sam snickers. “i saw him following her around like a lost puppy the other day. funniest thing i’ve ever seen, bucky trailing after her.”

bucky is still watching you, not paying attention even when scott slams a card on the pile. “your turn, kate.”

“thank you, scott.”

“i hate these people,” tony sighs.

kate begins to overanalyze her cards, individually scanning each card and taking as long as possible to spite tony and scott.

thinning your eyes at the group of people on the couch, you watch their conversation for a few seconds more, catching the movements of their lips as they mouth your name. sighing softly, you decide to give up on them, moving your attention back to the man already looking back at you, chin on his palm and glossy reflections of hearts in his irises.

a soft smile lightens your face, the rise of your cheeks urging bucky to wear a goofy smile that sam laughs at.

“how far are you on your list, buck?” you wonder.

“which one?” bucky replies distractedly, vaguely remembering the list you’re referring to.

“you have more than one?” you query, surprised, then you grin, cocking your head at him. “that’s so smart. is it, like, one for shows, and another for movies, and another for music, another for recipes, blah, blah, blah?” you look so excited as you ask, getting riled up at his false organization and it is simply too cute for bucky to break, so he nods along to your words inattentively.

“uh huh. all of that,” he affirms, even though he has one lousy list in scrawled handwriting listing random things tucked inside his battered journal. he supposes he’ll just go onto google later to search up popular media and choose things that seem believable he heard so he can make the lists he just told you he had. smooth, isn’t he?

you exhale. “you’re so clever. how far are you on the movie or show one? actually, tell me about all of them.”

bucky blinks. “not… not very far. ‘still have lots of… movies and shows to get through.”

nodding, you think, eyes brightening when you get an idea. your shoulders rise and bucky mimics your movements without realizing.

“let’s have a night to ourselves today, then. i’ll help you get through your list—lists! we’ll do as much as we can, and if we don’t finish, we’ll just take another night! what do you think?”

bucky thinks he needs to google now and write as much crap in his lists as he can.

“finally! your turn, edward cullen,” tony urges, attention going from sending kate annoyed looks to impatiently waiting on bucky.

bucky is caught up in the near future where you’ll be cuddled up beside him underneath warm covers, watching movies of all genres as you inch closer, eating cookies you baked together, your fingers threaded through his hair as he tries not to fall asleep on your lap.

“hm?” bucky says disorientedly, not even turning to tony, his eyes glued on you until he catches himself and blinks fast. “uh, go fish,” he manages.

you furrow your brows, peering down at the deck in your hands, neatly organized into groups of colors and then into numerical order, your plus four and plus twos at the beginning. you raise an eyebrow and cock your head at bucky. “we’re playing uno.”

“sad,” sam whispers to the group by the couch.

[stuckylibrary]

Group Ask 200

What is a group ask?

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Please reply to this post if you know one of the fics mentioned in this ask. Thank you so much in advance!

Anonymous 1 asked: 

 Hey I'm looking for a fiction I read while ago. Bucky still has the trigger words and Steve and Shuri try to give word a positive meaning to get rid of them. Steve tells a story and the words are in it.

Anonymous 2 asked:

I don't remember much but Steve is a CEO of Rogers Inc. and Bucky is his assistant or a temp or something and one day they're having a private meeting and hook up and get together but they have to keep it secret and then it gets really dramatic and Pepper catches them one day and makes them confess to everyone.

Anonymous 3 asked:

hiya!! I lost track of a fic, it’s one where Bucky dies and hydra creates a baby clone of him, but the clone gets rescued by the avengers when he’s like three years old and grows up with a twin sister, and is best friends with a trans Sam Wilson. He goes by James and doesn’t find out about his past until he’s older. Steve shows up eventually? If you could help I would really appreciate it thank you!!

Anonymous 4 asked: 

 i'm looking for a fic that i read a WHILE ago and i've looked everywhere for it but basically it was a/b/o i'm p sure but the main thing was steve and bucky were apart of this pack that would go running in the park or something and their wolves kept ending up together but when they switched back they acted like it never happened

Anonymous 5 asked:

hi mods! i've been trying to find a fic i read a long time ago but having no luck. in the fic, steve is a witch and bucky was turned into an animal (something small, might've been a cat), the specific details are fuzzy but the story starts with steve finding animal!bucky outside in the rain then bringing him back home to take care of. near the end of the story bucky transforms back and they get together (i think they had sex too?)

jumpingfromshiptoship asked:

Okay, so I cannot find this fic for the life of me. I thought it was a 5+ fic, but I can’t find it in the tags. I remember it was post-AOU, Bucky lives in the Tower, and there are a lot of misunderstandings about their relationship. The first scene opens with Bucky wandering into Bruce’s lab, and he’s looking for Steve but he can’t find Steve because his phone is dead, and anyways at the end of the interaction Bruce is like maybe they arent just friends? The third vignette is Wanda walking into their apartment looking for help with a homework assignment, and sees them napping on the couch, she also wonders if they arent just friends? Finally it ends with Steve cooking breakfast for everyone and Bucky comes out of their bedroom covered in hickeys and there’s a whole conversation about yes, we’ve been together the whole time.

It was a one-shot, I think around 20K, and its not Build it Bigger Than the Sun. If someone knows what it is I would really appreciate it!!!!

Anonymous 6 asked:

Hi! I'm trying to find a fic that Steve writes Bucky a journal to help him remember their past. And I think there was some boy in the past and he was Steve and Bucky's neighbor and Bucky was jealous of him. Do you know that story? Thank you for your help 

Anonymous 7 asked:

Hello - I've been searching for a very specific fic for a while. It's a WWII, Bucky centric fic where he's increasingly disillusioned by the war and Steve's naive outlook. There is one specific detail - Bucky carves sayings into knives such as "Though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil - for I am the baddest motherfucker in the valley," "Bury me face down so the world can kiss my ass." Thanks!

meepmorp007 asked:

hello! i lost this one fic and i can't find it, was hoping y'all might know the one i'm talking about! basically bucky and steve grow up together, only bucky is super wealthy and steve is his butler/best friend. at some point bucky gets disowned and he and steve get an apartment together. thank so much!

Anonymous 8 asked:

Can you help me find this fic?

Steve and Bucky are childhood friends. Steve is in love with him, and Bucky doesn't know. Steve works in a bakery. For Halloween, Steve dresses up as zorro and Bucky just loses it. When he sees Steve with someone he gets jealous and Steve gets mad at him. Bucky goes home to his mom for Thanksgiving and his mom helps him realize his feelings.

Anonymous 9 asked:

Hi!! I hope this reaches you well. I read this fic a while ago where alpha Steve and Omega Bucky go through their first heat together. However the heat was really intense and at the end they both end up in the hospital I believe. The fic was based around the idea of Compatibility and the more compatible a couple was the stronger the heat is. Thank you so much I hope this is enough detail.

Anonymous 10 asked:

Hey! This might be a bit vague but I'm looking for a fic where steve and bucky meet at a hospital when they're kids. At some point they start dating but then Bucky moves away. There's a step father involved (think his name was victor?). A few years later Steve is looking for a roommate and Bucky turns up and after a bit they get back together. Thank you in advance :)))

Anonymous 11 asked:

i'm looking for a fic i totally lost track of. all i remember is bucky and rebecca living in soviet russia and trying to get out. bucky worked for the mob and was a drug runner and had to stay in alaska for a time and met steve (undercover fbi agent) in a bar. it was only four or five chapters, but i remember the drug run went bad and bucky woke up in the hospital with steve sitting beside him at the end?

Anonymous 12 asked: (/others)

hello, looking for a fic, steve is in love wuth bucky but he thinks bucky is dating natasha because he and nat spend a lot of time together, bucky even buys her a ring and steve think they are engaged. steve and bucky do end up together in the end

Anonymous 13 asked:

Hi I'm looking for this amazing fic, I think it was slow burn. Also think it was set civil war era. Team cap were having to run away, across Europe. Had to split up and I believe it was just Bucky and Sam and they were in a hire care and Bucky was being a BAMF. I think there was a scene where to get away form the police Bucky made him and Sam jump off a bridge? Also something like mcdonalds being a place like home in Europe. I think their rendezvous code name was best hamburgers

[j-wilson-md]

#'the closeness of their relationship is always defined by what wilson wants' FUCK yes I love that you said it like that.#Imo this is something people often overlook - like. house doesn't say thank you and doesnt apologize or support when he should#but looking at it I think wilson says sorry once in s1-7 in social contract after he lashes out. and like. never else.#pretty sure house has him beat in that department. nothing after the tritter overdose the dbs the mayfield call etc etc#& wilson looooves to put the responsibility on cuddy (detox & meaning) which is genuinely so interesting imo#esp bc house says it in baggage - they love scheming behind my back to strategize abt the house problem -#but never confronts him about it at all.#also 'even if it was house kind of deserves it' is SUCH an important point. genuinely I think wilson relied on that deeply in some part of#him. YES house can take it - may even want to - but if he can't -#he'll always ALWAYS stay anyway and he brought it on himself/he deserved it - like. what more of a safety net do you need#house wants him house needs him & house loves him always & irreversibly & the safety in knowing that is crazy. on the other hand the#pressure & difficulty in 'getting out' or changing that is too ofc#but in the end like. society broadly speaking is on wilson's side bc wilson can appear 'sane' conventional etc use all the right words do#the right things. part of the problem obviously bc then what does it matter whether he wants to.#sorry just added a bunch of disjointed thoughts on there. anyway GREAT post#also. fascinated by you saying we get his flaws w/o ever making him unlikeable. like I agree broadly!!!! I def think that's what they were#doing. but also I find it fascinating bc I really love wilson as a character and I find him deeply unlikeable soooo often.#but that's often kind of stepping outside of the show's assumptions re: drugs. addiction. pain. psych institutions. authority. cops.#'normality' etc etc. like I think the show is so interesting in often showing us houses pov and then wilsons and never challenging wilsons#even when it sucks/is conflicting/wrong - like when house's pain comes back and wilson laughs at him#& we see that it's actually come back & house knows his pain - & there's consequences obviously but wilson is never#narratively challenged for this the way imo they do house all the time.

'Wilson' as an episode fucking slaps. I'm obsessed with Wilson's complete lack of boundaries and I'm obsessed with the way he acts out to express resentment while still being completely incapable of saying no. He gave a patient part of his liver!! The man is in no way hinged.

For all the emphasis that gets placed on Wilson's failed marriages and infidelity, we don't ever actually see it directly on screen. This is a narrative choice I love, for the record. We see Wilson's relationships through House's eyes and it allows us to understand Wilson as a deeply flawed person without ever making him unlikable, because Wilson's flaws and contradictions are what make him irresistible to House. It's so effective, the way these failed relationships say so much about Wilson's character while being constructed largely out of inference.

In this episode, though, we watch his inability to self advocate play out in real time, and I guarantee that this is what every one of his relationship meltdowns looked like from the inside. On some deep fundamental level, James Wilson doesn't believe "I don't want to" is a valid reason not to do something. You know the fantasy trope of an obedience curse, where the victim is inescapably compelled to obey other people's requests? Wilson casts that spell on his own damn self, and he'll hold true to it even to the point of violating his own bodily autonomy. When you lack boundaries like that, it becomes almost impossible to even know what you truly want, let alone to act on it. So Wilson says yes and yes and yes until it breaks him, and then he still can't say no.

When saying yes feels like surrendering to torture and saying no feels like committing murder, the only option left is escape. So Wilson goes out drinking to trash the liver he's going to donate. He gets dinner with the pretty nurse instead of going home to his wife. All of it is him scrabbling at the bars of his cage. And the irony is that the cage is unlocked, he just has to walk through the open door, and that's the last thing he could ever bring himself to do.

I'm pretty sure that when he went to Cuddy and told her his plan to donate, he wanted her to say no. She almost did! And I think she should have, because her first impulse was right, it is insane. Unfortunately this is the Insane Lack of Boundaries Hospital, and she can't actually be expected to guess when her employee's mouth is saying yes but his eyes are saying dear god no. By the rules of universe that House MD operates within, this doesn't even break a 7 on the "unhinged measures to save a patient" scale, and Wilson invoked the power of friendship. What was she supposed to do?

And through all of this, House is the person Wilson lashes out at. I love, love, love that House is the person Wilson lashes out at. Wilson can't even admit to himself that he's angry about the position he's in. How can he be angry when he's the reason the patient needs a new liver? But House sees right to the heart of everything going on with him, and he says all the things Wilson wants to be true and can't afford to believe. Because if he lets himself believe this wasn't his fault then he might not be able to say yes. And he's going to say yes. And he hates that he's going to say yes. And he hates that House knows he's going to say yes.

So he gets angry with House, because it's safe to get angry with House. He lashes out, because with House, he can. He tells House he's wrong about him, and demands House move out, and that's not at all what he really wants but he feels helpless and coerced and he desperately needs to exercise some kind of control over his own life. The fact that he can let go like this with House is in part about knowing House isn't ever going to leave him - the closeness of their relationship is always defined by what Wilson wants, House has never once pushed Wilson away and fights to reconcile when Wilson wants distance. But it's also about knowing that he can't hurt House by setting boundaries with him. Mostly this is because House will walk right over any boundaries he considers unacceptable, but in fairness, the fact that House is kind of a terrible person is part of his appeal. If Wilson had issues around other people violating his stated wishes, House would be the last person in the world that he should have anything to do with. But Wilson's issues lie in the fear that not being compulsively available and accommodating to everyone around him might permanently fuck up the life of someone he loves. House's fucked up life is never going to be Wilson's fault and even if it was House would still kind of deserve it, so Wilson's anxious people pleasing compulsion can chill the fuck out for five minutes at a time.

I don't want to idealise, there are times in their relationship when Wilson absolutely makes fucked up sacrifices for House. I don't think it's the case that he earnestly wanted to every time. But it's also true that House brings out authenticity in Wilson that few other people manage to. House knows him. House allows him to give in to his selfish impulses without guilt and consequences, and for all the people who love the best in him, House knows and loves his worst. While Wilson is caught up in trying to bend himself into whatever shape someone else needs him to be, what House wants more than anything is the truth. For Wilson, who is so out of touch with his own desires, being an object of fascination to someone obsessed with drives and motivations must be a rush. And if we accept the throughline of this episode, it might just be the case that House's boundary pushing and obsession is something Wilson needs.

[babyboibucky]

The Match - Part 8

Pairing: CEO!Bucky x Fem!Reader

Word Count: 2.7k

Summary: You get a preview of what it’s like to be working with Mackenzie.

Warnings: I apologize as there is no smut in here lmfao but there is a stubborn Bucky lols

A/N: The jitters just never go away whenever I post a new part for this ajkcnjasncakjcnakj I find this part boring tbh but uhh things will start picking up again in the next part I promise

The Match Masterlist || MAIN MASTERLIST

Bucky decided to push through with his partnership with Wilson Enterprises. It was a big one, so it definitely required the entire team's effort and perseverance. Apparently, this is the company's biggest, most major project yet so this was going to look really good in your resume. It would also provide you with more credibility to further excel in your career.

Except that Bucky actually hired a marketing consultant to take over the entire project as his revenge.

"Any questions? About the project or about Kenzie?" Bucky asked, standing in front of the conference room, next to Mackenzie.

You confidently raised your hand when no one else did. Bucky tilted his head, a tiny smirk tugging at the corner of his lips. He knew you were affected, of fucking course you were!

"Yes?" he called out.

You stood up and sighed softly, "I mean this in the most respectful way, Mister Barnes." you said, emphasizing his name. "But as the head of marketing, what exactly is my role here? Given that Mackenzie was hired to spearhead the marketing aspect of this project." you said, giving Mackenzie a passive aggressive smile.

"I don't want to overstep on some boundaries here, that's why I'm asking. I just want clarity, that's all." you said.

Bucky was about to respond when Mackenzie stopped him, grabbing his arm and squeezing it before taking over the floor. You narrowed your eyes at how her slender fingers were wrapped around Bucky's arm.

"Honey..." Mackenzie started. "There's nothing to worry about, this is a collaborative work between you and I. So think of yourself as my assistant, someone to help me out with the project." she responded.

Bitch.

"I'm not an assistant, Mackenzie." you said, smiling at her.

Mackenzie laughed, "I'm sorry, my bad. I shouldn't have used that term. Oops." she said. "Although, I believe I have more experience in this area so maybe consider me a mentor?" she suggested.

Bitch!

Bucky cleared his throat, "If you have certain ideas, you can discuss it with her. She is a consultant after all. Given her impressive experience in the field, I'm sure you'll learn a thing or two from her."

The meeting was wrapped up by noon and you simply couldn't wait to get yourself out of the conference room. You didn't feel like talking to Bucky anymore in all honesty, not after what he was doing. You knew this was just to spite you, get you to cave in first and give in to him.

All the more that you wouldn't, especially not when he actually used your job against you.

Everyone started rushing out of the conference room, ready to head out for lunch. As soon as you reached the doorway, you overheard the short conversation between Bucky and Mackenzie.

"Hey Bucky, we still up for lunch?"

-

The bathroom was empty when you stepped inside and thank god for that because you couldn't hold back your emotions any further. Tears gathered in the corner of your eyes, not because you were hurt. Fuck no, you were angry and frustrated. So fucking angry at yourself for getting into this mess, at Bucky for being such an entitled prick, at the entire world for plotting against you.

You groaned in irritation as you wiped away your tears, sniffing as you looked at yourself in the mirror.

You worked your ass off for this job, for your position. You risked your dignity when you let Bucky fuck you. You weren't going to let someone take that away from you.

You quickly fixed yourself when the door opened, followed by the loud clacking of someone's heels.

"Omg, are you crying?" Beverly gasped, rushing over to you.

You snickered, "No." you lied, "My eyes are itchy." you huffed out before noticing that Beverly was holding a sandwich in her hand.

"Why did you bring your sandwich here?" you curiously asked.

Beverly shrugged, "The pantry's full and the other girls don't exactly seem to like me...so..."

You shook your head and sighed, "Come with me, let's have lunch out. I need to get out of this fucking place anyway."

"Yay, omg! I knew you were nice! You're like, the only girl who actually talked to me nicely." Beverly said, tagging behind you as you exited the bathroom.

"Oh, there you are!" Mark called out. "I was looking for you. Wanna grab lunch? Oh...who's this?" he asked, noticing the blonde girl trailing behind you.

"I'm Beverly! I'm Sir James' new secretary." she introduced excitedly.

You sighed, "Don't ask me why." you said when Mark turned to you with a confused look, still not sure what happened to Bucky's previous secretary.

"So, lunch out? With Bev?" you asked.

-

You were completely zoning out during lunch despite the ongoing conversation between Mark and Bev, something about yoga? You honestly couldn't care less, not when you were feeling so conflicted about your current situation.

Would Bucky actually go that far just to get you back? Or does he actually hate you for saying no to him and is basically using his authority to make your life a living hell?

"So I heard about the new girl." Mark said, that snapped you out of your trance.

"Huh?" you asked.

"I find it weird for Mister Barnes to hire someone when you're here." Mark pointed out. "I mean, are you okay with that or..."

You snorted, "Fuck no. Look, I'm not gonna be the bigger person here. I was offended as fuck." you admitted.

"Yeah, it's super weird because she was hired through Tinder or something. Is that even legal?" Beverly pointed out as she scrolled through her phone.

You and Mark turned to her abruptly, "Tinder? Wait, what?" you asked.

Beverly chuckled, "I heard them talking this morning and Kenzie was like, 'It's so funny that we matched on Tinder and ended up doing business there you know' and I'm like omg Sir James has Tinder and I have one too but I never saw him there, bummer."

"Motherfucker." you hissed out.

Mark made a face, "Are you okay?" he carefully asked. "You've been really tensed since last week."

Apparently, Bucky never deleted his Tinder and have been swiping right on women. And that's how he met Mackenzie who just happened to be a marketing consultant. Now you were just furious, was he fucking her too? Has he been fucking other women this entire time?

"Hey, Bev..." you said, a plan hatching inside your mind. "Can I ask you a favor?" you asked nicely.

Beverly nodded, "Um duh, you're basically my office BFF now."

"If you ever hear Mister Barnes and Mackenzie talk about hmm, I don't know...something interesting. Maybe about the project...me 'cause you know, I'm the head of marketing and Mackenzie’s in the same field...let me know, will ya?" you asked.

Mark chuckled nervously, "I don't know what's going on but isn't that an invasion of privacy?"

"She's not going to eavesdrop, Mark. She'll just...listen closely." you explained.

"Bev might get in trouble if Mister Barnes finds out." Mark warned.

You waved a hand, "She'll be fine, Mark. She's his secretary, she has to know everything. Besides, I'm not going to let her get in trouble, if she does then I'll take care of it."

Beverly squealed in delight, "Omg, you are not my office BFF. You're like my office mom! You and Mark are literally my office parents." she said, lifting her phone up in the air.

"Selfie! This one goes to the 'gram." she said, taking a quick photo of the three of you.

She then proceeded to edit the photo while you and Mark continued eating lunch.

"Bev, you should really put your phone away and eat first. We have less than half an hour left for lunch break." Mark called out.

Beverly groaned and rolled her eyes, "Way to get into the role, Mark. You're such a dad."

You snorted, "Yeah. Loosen up, daddy." you teased.

"Playing family after just one date, huh."

Bucky's presence in the same restaurant should've really intimidated you, most especially that he just witnessed you tease Mark like that. But you were too mad at him to even care, what was the point even? He didn't believe you even when you told him the truth that Mark was just a friend.

Why even try now?

"Hi Sir James." Beverly greeted happily.

"Mister Barnes." Mark acknowledged.

Bucky ignored them and kept his eyes on you. You didn't falter under his gaze and simply stared back at him with blank eyes. It's as if a staring competition took place when the both of you merely looked at each other, neither of you looking away nor attempting to do so.

"How was that date last Friday, Jim?" Bucky asked, his eyes still trained on yours.

Mark made a funny face at the name that Bucky called him but shrugged anyway. Before he could even respond, you decided to answer on his behalf. If Bucky wanted to spite you, you'd give him a taste of his own medicine.

"It was actually great. We might go on another one this Friday." you said.

"We are?" Mark asked in a whisper.

Bucky's hand landed on Mark's shoulder, "Don't count on it, Andrew. She's going to be doing a lot of work on Friday due to the project." he said through gritted teeth.

You shrugged, "Oh, but I thought Mackenzie's doing all my work?"

"I'm ready to head back, Buck."

Speak of the devil herself. Mackenzie weaved through the tables and approached Bucky, her face brightening up when she saw you, Mark and Beverly.

"Oh, hey you." she greeted you. "Look, I think we may have started off on the wrong foot earlier. I'm not here to take your job, just here to spice things up a bit. Improve your ideas, give Bucky some assistance." she chuckled, holding onto Bucky's arm yet again.

You fought back the urge to grab your glass of water and throw it at her face. As the saying goes, kill them with kindness. So you merely shrugged and extended an arm for a handshake.

"Of course. I would love to improve your ideas as well, you know. Just a healthy discourse between two marketing professionals. We good?" you said.

Mackenzie forced out a chuckle and reached for your hand, "We’re good. I look forward to working with you." she said before turning back to Bucky who was still gazing at you.

"Let's go?" she asked sweetly.

Bucky smirked at you before wrapping an arm around Mackenzie's waist, guiding her out of the restaurant the same way he did to you. You were too focused on Bucky's body language around Mackenzie that you failed to notice that Mark was watching you closely, your expressions and how you reacted towards Bucky.

"I think I know what's happening."

-

"You what?!"

"Shhh!" you hushed Mark and peeked out of the empty pantry to make sure the coast was clear.

Mark noticed the tension between you and Bucky and he came to a conclusion that the both of you dated at one point. He wasn't really wrong but he wasn't right either. So you decided to tell him everything, from the moment you matched with Bucky on Tinder until your last conversation with him last Saturday.

"I honestly thought you were dating, I didn't know there was sex involved. No wonder he had been calling me weird names." he said incredulously. "Was that you and Mister Barnes that Janet reported to the HR?" he asked, stifling his laughter.

You groaned, "Yes. Ugh, gave me a panic attack when I found out about that incident report." you said.

"Hey..." Mark called out. "Thank you for trusting me enough to tell me this. Your secret is safe with me." he reassured.

You nodded, "I think it was about time that I told someone about us anyway. This whole situation is driving me crazy and I don't know what to do next. And I'm sorry for dragging you into this mess, I shouldn't have said that we were going out again. I don't want you or your job getting compromised because of our petty fight." you exhaled.

You had to admit, you felt so much better now after confiding with Mark. It somewhat alleviated the weight on your shoulders, knowing that there was someone aware of what you were going through. Who would've thought that this person would end up being Mark? You did have friends outside of work of course, but you felt like they all wouldn't really understand the situation.

Half would hate you for rejecting Bucky and the other half would hate you for even swiping right on him.

"Do you mind an unsolicited advice?" Mark asked.

"Not at all." you said.

"Ignore him. Don't let him or Mackenzie get to you. Do what you do best, you're great at your job and you'll be fine. That might get him to realize that you're not a prize to be won. And if he still doesn't see that, then that's his loss. You're more than just that hot marketing girl at work." Mark said.

You laughed at his last statement, "Hot marketing girl at work?" you asked, shaking your head.

"It's true. So if in any case you decide to ditch the CEO and move on, you know where to find me." he joked, throwing a wink your way.

-

You wanted to finish all your reports so you could focus on the huge project so you decided to work until around nine in the evening. The floor was already empty by the time you were done. Bucky seemed to be working too, given that he was still replying to e-mails at this hour. Wanting to get all the reports over with, you decided to submit it to him before going home.

During the elevator ride to Bucky’s floor, you couldn’t help but wonder whether he was alone in the office. Would Mackenzie be there with him? Even at this hour? Your grip on the folder tightened at the thought of catching them in the act.

But did you have any right to feel this way though?

Brushing off the thoughts, you exhaled loudly and prepared yourself for whatever it was you were to witness. Upon reaching the door to Bucky’s office, you slightly turned your head to listen to anything. It was quiet. No hushed whispers nor strained grunts-- they weren’t fucking, thank goodness for that.

You decided not to knock and just walk inside like you used to, reminding yourself of Mark’s advice.

Don’t let Bucky get to you.

When you saw Bucky hunched over his desk, typing away on his e-mails instead of bending a certain brunette somewhere in his office, you had to admit that you were relieved. He looked up and his eyes looked dead tired, you almost felt sorry for him. Almost.

“You should really learn how to knock.” Bucky called out, slamming his laptop shut.

“Look, Bucky. I was just rushing to submit these reports so I can go home.” you explained and placed the folder on top of his desk.

Bucky frowned, “I said to call me Mister Barnes.”

You huffed out, “I honestly don’t care, Bucky. I’m not playing your damn games anymore.” you said and turned around.

A hand on your arm pulled you back, harshly turning you around to face Bucky. He was fuming, as usual. At this point, you were no longer fazed.

“You think I don’t know what you’re trying to do?” he asked.

You clenched your jaw and pulled your arm back, “I’m not doing anything. You bring in Beverly or Mackenzie or whoever it is that you have up your sleeve. I don’t fucking care. I just want to focus on work.” you said and stepped away.

“And you should too, Bucky.” you added.

“I don’t believe you.” he said.

You sighed, your shoulders dropping from exhaustion at this whole shenanigan. “I’m done, Bucky.”

And with that you turned around to exit his office, leaving Bucky unsure whether you truly meant what you said. A victorious smirk graced your lips as you walked back to the elevator.

You were far from done.

-

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[wenellyb]

Is Sambucky Canon or Not?

TL;DR: Yes, it is

I've seen some people saying that they only see friendship between Sam and Bucky, and I can understand that. Because depending on your education, the environment you grew up and the kind of media you’re usually exposed to, you will have a different interpretation of different situations, in real life or in TV. Just let me insert a short story before I dive into the Sambucky topic:

My best friend's uncle is in his fifties and has been living with his roommate (a man) for more than 10 years. They lived together, went on holidays together but officially were just roommates. My best friend wondered if they were a couple, but never talked about it to her parents because it wasn't her business. Two years ago, they decided to come out and get married. My best friend's parents and his parents were genuinely surprised, they were not expecting that, at all, not even a little bit. Let me tell you that it didn’t even cross their mind that it was a possibility, at all. For them, it had always just been two men who had decided to live together because they were single. And preferred to have a roommate rather than living alone.

What I want to say with this story is that people will see what they want to see, or what they're used to see, or what they were raised to see. It’s human.

What I mean is that you will have different perception of a same event, depending on your own circumstances. And I think the writers of TFATWS were counting on that a little bit when it came to Sam and Bucky’s relationship. They obviously didn't want to make some big announcement or big love declaration.

And yes, of course, I have my own circumstances as well, influencing the way I see things. I have shipped SamBucky since Civil War, when they were supposedly enemies. I never expected anything to happen between them on screen. But then they got a show together and I was so so happy about it but I didn't expect anything other than friendship between them.

I was perfectly fine with that because a show was already more than enough: my man Sam Wilson was becoming Captain America, the show was great, the characters were great, their interactions were great, and this wasn't a love story anyway but a superhero show. I thought that here was no way the showrunners would ever go there. I changed my mind after episode 5. I tried to stay objective, but it was clear to me that the writers were hinting at a relationship that went beyond friendship between Sam and Bucky. In some of my previous posts, I explained that there are some scenes and writing choices that make absolutely no sense if you read them as a scene between two friends. I can link them if anyone’s interested.

Side note: I would like to know if one person on this website can tell me what was up with Bucky's behavior with Torres (in episode 5)? What other explanation is there, if not jealousy? It's a scene they chose to keep, so it was probably written this way, there must be a reason. Please I’m begging someone explain it to me. I'm genuinely asking, because otherwise that scene alone is canon Sambucky.

After episode 5, I was convinced they would make Sambucky canon, one way or the other and I started speculating about the ways they could do it. What I said was that if they did make Sambucky canon, they would do it in a very subtle way, in order not to make it too obvious because that’s generally how Marvel movies deal with love stories. And also because they wouldn’t want to scare away their homophobic audience ( I guess Disney needs their money...who knows)

So here are the scenes of how I imagined SamBucky becoming canon and the comparison with reality:

1.

- What I thought we could get : AJ and Cass calling Bucky "Uncle Bucky" - What we got: AJ and Cass running up to Bucky and playing with him. This point is interesting because it’s also related to the point I made about how the environment you grew up in influences your perception of things. I grew up in a big family and I know that, at least in my family, kids don't run up to an adult like that just because it's their uncle’s friend or just because he's nice... There's a real bond there. They haven't seen Bucky just that one time when he slept on the couch. They're obviously close. But some people might just see this as kids being kids. Also, if you watch at how the kids were fake punching him, they were really coordinated with Bucky. They have done this plenty of times. 2.

What I thought we could see: A non-explicit scene where we were supposed to draw our own conclusions. I thought they could show us Bucky staying over for the night, and the last scene would be an empty couch, meaning we would have to understand that Bucky slept in Sam's room this time.

-What we got: Bucky arriving in Sam's car ( A few people on Tumblr pointed out that it was the car Sam was driving in episode 1) So here again we have a scene that a lot of people will not notice. But they still chose to put it there. 3.

What I thought could happen: Sam asking Bucky to stay in Delacroix

What we got: Bucky wrapping things up in New York, as if he was leaving the city for good and coming to Sam's party as if he already knew everyone there. You can read my take on this here. 4. What I thought could happen: The scene in the trailer where we see them looking in the same direction and then we get a shot from very far away where they're holding hands but it’s not so obvious because they are being filmed from a disctance. -What we got: The scene in trailer and then a blurry shot of Sam holding Bucky and then fondling with his neck to find the best spot to rest his hand on. So none of the scenes I was imagining happened exactly like I had imagined, but it felt like all of them happened but in a different versions, which is still crazy to me. If it had been only one scene. I could probably understand the people who see them as just friends. Actually, I still do understand the people who see them as just friends, because everyone has their own interpretation. What I am saying is that they are NOT being portrayed as just friends. There are TOO many scenes in the 6 episodes for it to be a coincidence. One or 2 would be ok but friendship doesn’t explain everything:

The therapy scene (not the therapy scene itself since it was improvised) but the therapist saying she had heard a lot about Sam and wanting them to do a couples’ therapy

Bucky following Sam no matter what

Sam saying ok as soon as Bucky says "do it for me"

Sam asking "what about Bucky?"

Bucky starting to touch Sam whenever he has the chance

Bucky being the one to bringing the suit for Sam

The boat repairing montage

Bucky wanting to stay at Sam's place, when a hotel room would have been more comfortable than a couch

The second day of boat repair in closed quarters with an intense staring scene.

And there are so many other scenes, soft touches, looks,...

These writing choices are not a coincidence, it’s not involuntary, and it’s not fan service ( Fan service is the roll in the flower field scene, or the therapy session). This is them telling a story.

Let’s not even talk about the scenes in Endgame:

Sam comforting bucky at Tony’s funeral

Sam looking up to Bucky for approval before accepting the shield from Steve.

So yes, Sam and Bucky are canon in the sense that Peter and Gamora were canon in the first movie, or Wanda and Vision were canon in Captain Civil War. Meaning that there was no big moment, kiss or anything, but the show is consistently throwing elements clearly showing Sam and Bucky as a romantic item and hinting at a lot more than friendship between them.

It is normal that some people have a different opinion. Because it is extremely rare, in big productions like this to have two male leads with romantic feelings towards each other, so not a lot people who see it will interpret it as such (I don't think it ever happened). You’ll see what you’re used to seeing.

I guess it also depends on what you expect from a love story. For me, the storyline between the characters, their scenes, their chemistry, the way their feelings towards each other are described, are the most important. The kiss scene is just there as a bonus, but I don't need it when the love story is told perfectly. If you’re used to seeing love stories with many kissing scenes, that’s what you will be expecting to see in most love stories.

If you're only used to seeing male friendships in superhero or action movies. The 1000th time you see men interacting in that type of movie or show, you are more likely to assume it is a friendship and nothing more, no matter how many codes and tropes usually associated with romantic movies, the writers and show makers are using.

Add to that the conviction that Disney would never approve Sambucky in a million years, and there you go, I can understand the people who see only friendship.

But, just think about it, if we had the same show, same scenes, same dialogues, but minus the action scenes and the project was being marketed as an Indie movie, would you think they were just friends or a blossoming couple?

If you read Sambucky’s relationship like a friendship: some scenes don't make sense. If you read it like a developing romantic relationship: it all makes sense. "When you hear hoofs, think horse, not zebra" If a writer or a film director chooses a last scene with a romantic setting and the two leads are staring at a sunset, smiling repeatedly at each other and then walking away together with one of them touching the other's neck, with a love song in the background, maybe friendship isn't the first thought they had in mind.

Some people may say “I see them as just friends” and other people may say “ I see them as lovers” and both are fine, because people have different perceptions, and that’s ok.

What I am saying is this post is that the show and the writers are portraying them as more than just friends, they’re portraying them as two characters who are romantically involved.

Perceive what you want but that’s how they are being presented in the show.

Bucky’s therapist said that the exercise she gave them was for couples who want to figure out what kind of life they want to build together. Then, the show ends with Sam and Bucky, staring at a sunset together, looking in the same direction.

“Love does not consist in gazing at each other, but in looking outward together in the same direction. “  - Antoine de Saint-Exupery

What else do you need???

This show had more romance than half of the Marvel projects out there. Not every love story needs a kiss (for now...)

We'll see in their next projects which direction the writers want to go with this. But since it was said that the writer on the movie is the same as the writer from episode 5, there's no doubt in my mind that we'll keep seeing this dynamic. I don't think they would have made the same choices if this had been a movie. But I won't complain that we got this. I hope they keep this going even if it stays subtle like in the show. Just hope they will add one explicit scene where one of the characters acknowledges their relationship. But even if we only ever get this show, it’s already a great love story. Let me know what you guys think and sorry for the typos and grammar mistakes, I was tired when I wrote the last part. I hope it still makes sense!

If you think they're only being portrayed as friends let me know why! I would also like to know about the way you see this!

[shurisneakers]

harmless (x)

Summary: Bucky volunteers to go stop a small time villain, but nothing can prepare him for what exactly he has to deal with. (Bucky x villain!reader, drabble series)

Warnings: cursing, frustrated bucky, dramatic reader, anxiety, smidge of angst, mentions of violence

Word count: 7.8k (i went overboard. clearly.)

A/N: as well all know, i am a humanities student writing science geeks. if any of this sounds unrealistic or nonsensical, it’s because it is and i am honestly too exhausted to research data privacy and AI so here’s my take on how STEM should work i.e. the power of friendship  <3 major shoutout to @iamlittlesparkler for the idea for this chapter!

here’s my ko-fi if you’d like to support my writing <333

Previous Part  || Series Masterlist

“As you know, we have a busy week ahead of us.” 

Coffees line the conference room table, pens click against the stacks of paper that settle in front of various agents and the smell of deodorant mixed with post-training sweat lingers at the back of the room like a disgusting witch concoction. 

“The annual parade is coming up and since there are a few security threats, SHIELD has been asked to step in. Therefore, all of you will be working security this week, possibly even at the parade.” Murmurs broke out in the room the minute this was said; mostly from first year field agents who were way too excited to have earpieces and fingerless gloves. 

Bucky, on the other hand, doesn’t think much of it. They’ve dealt with threats before, most were declared empty the minute it got out that SHIELD or the Avengers were involved. It’s the 12th one that year. 

“That’s only if we don’t catch it first,” Steve continued. “Our first priority is precaution. The tech and analytics teams are working on it. However, if you see anything suspicious, bring it up with Director Fury. He’s going to be around to make sure we’re not overlooking anything. Do you have any questions?”

More whispers erupted at the mention of Fury’s name. Wait till they realise he lives up to his name when they accidentally manage to set him off just by existing incorrectly.

Bucky smirks at the thought.

“You can leave then.” Steve straightens up as chairs shuffle against the carpeted floor, over twenty people leaving the room.

“And remember, if you see an eagle today, be sure to stand there and thank it on behalf of Steve for its service. Freedom! Liberty! And whatever else,” Tony calls out from the corner of the room, earning a sigh from the captain. Others only snicker as they close the door behind them.

“Thanks.” Steve stares at him stone faced, bemused at the symbolism that had been bestowed upon him.

“Gotta keep the patriotism high.” The only ones that remain are the official team. Bucky thinks that he should have left with the other agents but apparently, it was rude and not a good show of team spirit.

“How serious is this threat anyway?” Clint has his head face down on the table, hand holding his to-go coffee cup so it doesn’t fall over. 

“We’re not sure.” Steve finally takes a seat on the chair in front of him. “It’s the biggest event we’ve had this year, wouldn’t put it past them.”

“If it’s those Welsh kids again, I’m gonna punch a hole through their house this time,” Clint warns, voice muffled through the furniture. 

“It’s not them, we checked.” Nat had her leg up on the armrest of Clint’s chair. “Tech team’s been working overtime to figure it out.”

“You have anything that could help?” Sam sends a nod towards Tony.

“I got a few things but it’d take a while to put it together.” 

“Didn’t you learn quantum physics in a night?” Wanda’s picking apart a cookie into pieces, chewing slowly.

“Thermodynamic astrophysics,” he corrects her. “Quantum science took lesser.”

Bucky scoffs slightly at the brag, eyes still trained on the table in front of him. Maybe if he made no noise, they would forget he’s here.

“Yeah, so this should be a piece’a cake.”  

“If your cake was somehow made out of a highly specified tracker that somehow doesn’t violate the data privacy of the entire world while analysing millions of terabytes worth of information, then yeah. A piece of it.”

“What he means to say-” Bruce interjects, “-is that we’re trying. It’s just taking longer than usual.”

“Well, the parade’s this Sunday. Think it’ll be done by then?”

“Hey FRIDAY,” Tony crosses his arm over his chest. “How many hours have I slept this week?”

“Three and a half, boss.”

“How much more will I be getting?”

“From previous experience, about six.”

“Yeah, we can get it done.” Tony looks back at Steve. 

“Ask someone on the tech team to help you out.” Everyone was well aware of Tony’s bad coping mechanisms and how futile it was to get him to change his mind about it, but they still tried.

“They’re too busy.” Bruce pressed his lips into a straight line. 

Bucky tunes out at this point. If he could help, he would have reluctantly chimed in by now, but he couldn’t. 

“So what now?” Sam rips Clint’s doughnut into two, keeping one half for himself while leaving the other to the latter who still hadn’t lifted his head up from the table.

“I actually asked Fury if I could call in an external to come help,” Tony pipes up. 

“And he agreed?” Nat raised an eyebrow.

“After he realised I wasn’t going to leave his office until he said yes.” He pulled out his phone, rapidly typing out a message before hitting send. “It didn’t take too long.”

“Do we know this person?” Steve asks a little suspiciously.

“Well-” Bruce sneaks a glance at the broody man on the chair, “-kinda.”

Everyone can tell Bucky isn’t paying attention by the way he’s glaring holes into the plant. He doesn’t mean to, it just so happens that it looks like he wants to kill it. Nobody tends to bother him during meetings, knowing well and fully that he did not care.

“You’re about to.” Tony jumps up, making his way to the door to pull it open.

Bucky perks up. An open door means they can leave, right? He can go watch The Bachelor? He’s not sure what everyone was talking about, but if the meeting was over he could go ask Wanda who was always kind enough to help.

“Our newest recruit,” the billionaire announces, quickly adding the next part, “on a trial basis.” 

Bucky looks at the door.

His jaw drops open.

“No,” he says loudly, posture immediately stiff as a plank. 

“Hello to you too, Barnes.” You roll your eyes before sending a small wave to everyone else. “Hey everyone.”

“What are you doing here?” He looks like he’s seething. 

“Don’t tell me you forgot about our date.” You cross your arms over your chest in defiance. “You told me 3 o’clock, you player.”

“What is she doing here?” He whips to Steve for an answer.

“Hey Y/N,” Sam greets with a smile on his face before Steve can reply.

“Sam Wilson, good to see you again.” You grin.

“Right back at ya, sugar.” 

Wanda looks amused, Clint finally lifts his head off the table at the mention of your name while Nat takes her feet off his armrest, and Steve’s body relaxes when he realises what’s going on. 

“Okay.” Tony claps his hand. Bucky shoots daggers at him. “As you all know, this is Y/N. She’s going to working with us this week.”

“This is ridi- how did you even find out about her?”

“Aside from the fact that she’s all you talk about?” Clint snorts. Bucky shifts his glare to him. It was bullshit and an exaggeration and Clint was going to get a shoe up his ass very soon.

Your grin only grows bigger.

“We saw one of the repulsors she made some time ago,” Bruce answers his question like the sane person that he is. “Tony’s had her in mind for a while.”

“Repulsors? How on ear-” Bucky connects two and two together before turning to Sam. “You. You got her this job.”

“Sam’s my best wingman.” You send him a small heart made from your hands. Whether the pun was intentional or not, no one would know.

“Don’t look at me, I had nothing to do with this idea.” Sam raised his hands to brush off the blame.

“You’re a villain,” he points out loudly.

“I’m a saint.” You raise your hand to your heart in mock offence. “I have done nothing wrong in my life, ever.”

“Listen, Robocop,” Tony interrupts your conversation, bringing the attention back to him, “I cleared it with Fury. He’s the boss here.”

“Fury doesn’t know-”

“What don’t I know?” The atmosphere of the room changes the minute he saunters in. 

With an eyepatch on his face, gaze sharp and a long black coat, Nick Fury puts Bucky’s dark outfits to shame. Not like he was competing. 

Bucky doesn’t continue his sentence. Nick’s imposing presence loomed at the doorway, putting a stop to the ridiculous arguments that were beginning to boil. Instead, he looks at you, only to find your attention trained on the man of the hour.

“Nicholas,” you half cheer from where you had shifted to in the middle of all the commotion. 

Nicholas?

Nicholas?

No one had ever called him Nicholas. 

“Y/L/N,” Nick addresses in return. “Been a while.”

“You haven’t come to the lair in months, Nick.” You pout at him. “I even sent you an invite.”

Bucky furrows his eyebrows. Since when are you on such good terms with Fury? Since when was anyone on good terms with Fury?

“It must have gotten lost in the mail,” he fires back, “Or maybe it’s because I just happen to be the busiest man in the damn country. Take your pick.”

You roll your eyes, muttering something under your breath, but the good natured smile on your face shows that you didn’t take any of his passive- or straight up- aggressiveness to heart. 

“I’m sorry, I didn’t realise I was interrupting your little tea time.” He looks around the rest of the room with an edge in his voice. “Don’t you all have work to do?”

“We do,” Tony interrupts, holding up his hand before pointing to Bruce and you. “Everyone else just sorta sits around and looks pretty.”

“I’m gonna go talk to the organisers, see what spots are most vulnerable.” Steve stands up. “You coming?”

“Yep,” Sam responds, flicking Clint’s shoulder to drag him along. “Come on, man. When was the last time you took a shower?”

“I’ll go see what the kids are up to in training. They’re probably flying off the handle right now.” Natasha brushes off crumbs from her lap. “Barnes, you in?”

Bucky silently shakes his head, eyes focused on you as you introduce yourself to every Avenger who walks out of the room, sharing a small fist bump with Sam.

“I’ll do it,” Wanda volunteers instead, finally leaving behind only the Science Bros, you and Bucky in the room with Fury. 

“I’ll give you a tour of the lab.” Tony beckons and you nod, following him. “New eyepatch, Fury? Prada, I assume?”

“Stark,” Nick says curtly. 

Bucky stares after you, arms still folded across his chest.

“Any problem, Sergeant?” 

Other than the fact that his arch nemesis was now working with his friends, no, not really. But that did seem like a pretty big one.

“No,” Bucky mumbles instead, getting up from his place finally.

Apparently, no one else was worried about the possibly lethal combination of you and Stark, even with Banner there to dilute it. 

Fine.

Guess he just has to observe you the whole week.

Well, half a week. It was Wednesday. 

He observes inconspicuously over the rim of his coffee cup. He has a newspaper spread in front of him at Bruce’s table. 

It’s not suspicious. He’s been there multiple times to sit in silence with the scientist who occasionally tinkers with something while engaging Bucky in tidbits of conversation. He finds it calming, refreshing even

Today he has an agenda. Everyone knows about it too. 

“You know he’s staring at you, right?” Bruce looks up briefly from the giant blueprint laid in front of the group. 

Tony had been dragged away to get a proper meal into him after he stayed up for 36 hours straight with caffeine keeping his system running. 

“He has a tendency to do that.” You’re looking over the plan the three of you had come up with the day before. There were certain changes to be made in terms of efficiency. “Turns out if you annoy him, he stares harder.”

“We’ve heard about the inventions. Inators, he calls them?”

“Yeah,” you point out something on the sheet, drawing a circle around it to come back to later, “only good things I hope?”

“He doesn’t really talk much.” Bruce writes down a small comment against your arrow mark. “But if he hated them, he’d have a lot to say. So I’d take it as a compliment.”

“Would it annoy him if I did?”

“Probably.”

“I’ll take it as a compliment, then. Pass me the ruler?” You draw a line connecting two pieces. 

Bucky’s ability to lip read is excellent but he refuses to do it, for privacy purposes. He knew that SHIELD had pulled some strings and had another teacher substituting for your classes the whole week since your other option was to come only after school hours. Anything else about this plan was murky.

“You gonna sit there all day?” Tony looks over his shoulder, following his line of sight.

“I’ve done it before.” He continues to look over the newspaper at you with your finger extended at something on the blueprint as you explained something to Bruce.

“You look like- how do I say this nicely.” He wasn’t going to. “A fuckin’ stalker.”

“I’m supposed to stop her from doing anything evil.”

“Sure.” Tony snorts. “That’s what this is. Should I get you a fedora and sunglasses while we’re at it?”

Of course Stark wouldn’t care; he brought you into this project. It was pretty much impossible to get him to agree with Bucky.

Bucky just narrows his eyes and continues his observation. 

The menu of the cafeteria keeps changing. They like to keep things interesting.

Every time they do, Bucky spends too long staring at the menu, trying to figure out what exactly is familiar enough to order. Vietnamese week had him eating pho the entire duration it stayed.

“You plannin’ on eating anytime this century, sarge?” He recognises your voice immediately. 

He knows what time your break is and he knows that you generally eat lunch in the cafeteria with the science team. Generally, the three of you pour over solutions and debate points all through the meal, and he spends the time getting acquainted with his new, lowkey Instagram account. 

He blocks the Bucky Barnes hashtag the minute he gets an account again. God save his eyes from people asking him to break their back like a glow-stick. However, one afternoon of accidentally watching three cat videos has led to his entire explore page being taken over by them and he’s been trying for three days to get it to stop. 

“Just trying to-” he tilts his head. “-understand what I’m reading.”

“Not a big fan of Greek food?” You join him in looking at the menu. 

“Never really had the chance to try.” Tony and Bruce don’t seem to be in the room, probably pushing aside their meal to work on it as they’ve often done.

“Ah.” You already had your order in mind but you wait there. 

Two minutes later he’s still staring at the menu. He can feel your presence next to him, unmoving. It unnerves him.

“Why are you still standing here?” He cranes his neck to look at you.

“I’m just seeing how long it takes for you to order.” You shrug. “So far it’s been five minutes and forty six seconds. Forty eight now.”

“Go away.” The concept of someone standing beside him, waiting for him to do something reminded him far too much of him trying to bag his stuff at the grocery counter rapidly while other customers waited to pay. 

“Six minutes and thirty seconds. This is just sad now.”

“Your face is sad.” It was pathetic that he had now resorted to this.

It earned a laugh from you. 

As entertaining as it was to be able to get on his nerves by just standing silently next to him, you finally ask, “Do you want a recommendation?” 

He eyes you wearily. “You gonna give me food poisoning?” 

“Not today, no.” You shake your head slightly. “Maybe tomorrow.”

He stares a little longer. You remain unshaken in your offer.

“Fine.” He sighs, stepping aside. 

You tell him that since it’s his first time, you’d get him something basic. He thought it made sense. 

He argued with you when you ended up paying for the both of you, only shutting up when you told him he’s holding up the line and that he could pay you back later. It doesn’t stop his incessant mumble complaining. 

He ends up with gyros at his table and you sitting opposite him with your meal. He asks where the Science Bros are. You tell him it’s Science Hoes now, as christened by Tony, and that they’re in the lab.

“So?” You look at him eagerly.

“What?”

“How is it?” you urge, nodding at him.

He takes a cautious bite, really taking his time with it to annoy your impatient ass. 

“Well?” You raise your eyebrow at him.

“It’s-” he pauses, looking down at his food. “-good.”

“Aha.” You lean back victoriously. “Knew it.”

He likes it. He also knows that this is probably going to be the only thing he orders for the next week unless you had planned otherwise. 

“You’re not eating?” He gestures to your untouched tray.

“Taking it up to the lab. Got a few things to work on and we’re already behind.” You gather up your stuff and get up.

“Uh-” he pauses from practically inhaling the entire thing. He was already halfway done with it. “-thanks.”

“No problem. You wink at him. “Try figuring out what’s wrong with it.” 

You turn on your heel to leave, taking your order with you. He can see your shoulders bobbing with silent laughter. 

He stares down at his plate, swallowing slowly. 

He pokes at it with a fork, lifting up the leftovers to check if there’s anything underneath. Nothing. 

He checks to see if his limbs are still intact or his face was a different colour. Nope.

His stomach twists in worry about what’s going to happen. He still has a bit left but he pushes the tray aside.

The rest of the day he spends supervising you has you occasionally catching his eye, only to laugh. It only freaks him out more.

It takes eight hours of waiting and self induced tests later to realise there was nothing wrong with it. You were just playing with him.

He’s surprised to find you in the rec room when he strolls in with Sam, given that you haven’t taken a break all day.

You don’t share the same surprise... almost like you expected him.

“How long have you been waiting for me?” he immediately asks.

"I wasn’t here for you.” You raise an eyebrow at him. “Heard that Wilson was makin’ an appearance here soon so I stopped by to get a good look at him."

"Take a picture, it'll last longer.” Sam laughs, inserting a dollar into the machine and punching in the code for what he wanted.

"Gladly. Strike a pose, would you?" You grin, raising your phone.

“Maybe when I’m not covered in sweat.” Sam counter offers and you accept with a thumbs up.

“You going to the parade, Sam?” You toy with the can in your hands.

“I’ll be working security, so probably.”

“Sarge?” You take a swig of your drink.

“Huh?” He snaps back into the conversation, putting a stop to the mental list of reasons he was making of why you could be here at the same time as him. He knew your schedule, it wouldn’t be very hard for you to figure out his.

“You coming to the parade on Sunday?” you ask again.

“I guess.”

You wince.

“What?” he asks instantly, curiosity making him a lot sloppier than usual.

“It’s just- you wear so much black.” You gesture to his current getup to prove your point. ”I feel like all the bright colours would vaporise you if you looked at them.”

He doesn’t look amused.

“You know, like Prince Philip.”

“I think I’ll be fine.” He gives you a sarcastic smile.

“You comin’ Buck?” Sam laughs, unwrapping the bar he bought from the machine.

“You go ahead, I’ll catch up,” Bucky says offhandedly, still glaring at you innocently drinking your soda.

Sam chews absentmindedly on his protein bar as he walks out, amused at the situation Bucky pulled himself into.

“What’d you do?” Bucky asks, studying your body language.

“I bought a soda.” You lift the can to prove your point. “And now I’m drinking it.”

“Why are you waiting for me?”

“I thought I’d return the favour,” you point out. “I’m supervising you.”

“Don’t.” He walks to the vending machine, pulling out his wallet for some loose change. There was a Snickers bar he had been craving since morning that he bought every alternate day. Small joys.

“Why? I have the time.” You take a sip, setting it down with a clang.

“You’re only here for this week.” Bucky counted the coins he had. He’d use a dollar but he was trying to get rid of the jingling in his pocket that made him sound like a fucking clown when he walked.

“Actually,” you begin innocuously, “Tony offered me a full-time position.”

Bucky’s movements stop, hunched over the money in his palm.

“What?”

“Yeah.” You nod seriously. “A full nine-to-five as a researcher here.”

“And you’re taking it.” He shakes himself out of the minor shock to assess the damage.

“I don’t know. I got a lot of things to consider.” The chair scrapes against the tiled floor as you stand up. “But maybe you should get used to seeing me a lot more around here.”

He punches in the code for his Snickers. The row whirs forward slowly.

“See you at the lab.” He hears you discard the empty can in the trash before exiting.

He waits patiently for his bar to drop while his mind internally screams about the consequences of having you work here. You wouldn’t be evil anymore. Unless you were here to steal secrets from the Tower. On the pro side, his weekend would be free again. On the con side, his weekend would be free again.

His bar stops right at the edge of the row. He waits for it to fall over. It doesn’t.

He shakes the machine, suppressing the primal urge to beat the shit out of it when the damn bar refuses to fall.

He punches in a few random buttons hoping that at least it would give his money back.

The little monitor instead flashes a new message across the screen.

‘Have a good day, sarge <3’

Motherfucker.

Captain America looks less daunting up close, you realise. But he is still a very large man with very large shoulders. You know at least four people who would like to scale him like a tree, not that you’d ever tell him.

“Hey, Y/N.” He sends you a small smile when you walk into the room for a mid-week update. A clipboard in your hand, report attached and a few stationery items in case some points needed to be noted done, you look professional and ready.

“Afternoon, Captain.” Tony saves a seat for you and Bruce beside him since you’re on the same project. You almost miss the fact that Bucky isn’t in the room.

He walks in a few minutes late; tall, dark and brooding, immediately bringing the excitement in the room down by 40% by just existing. 

Bucky surveys the room before catching your eye. He picks up his chair with ease and drags it over to where you are, sitting right beside you, ignoring the small cry of protest from an agent whose view he now obstructed. Everyone else just silently shifted over.

“Clingy much?” you whisper at him, eyes still trained on Steve who had waited till everyone was seated to continue.

“I’m supposed t’be keeping an eye on you,” he rebuffs in a hush.

“Well, you’re late. What if I went rogue, huh?”

“Therapy ran overtime,” he mumbles.

“Oh.” You blink. “How was it?”

“Same old.”

“You good?”

He refrains from answering when Steve starts addressing the room but yes, he was fine. He sends you a nod to confirm. 

“This is just a usual checking in. We’ve received all your reports, but just to keep everyone on the same page-”

Bucky logs out mentally. He knows what his job is, he’ll probably lead a division of the security team or join the mission to neutralise the threat in case they find it first. Either way, he’ll figure it out without having to listen to an intern nervously stammer their way through their team’s report. 

On the other hand, you’re not listening either. You were until you saw Bucky’s eyes glaze over while glowering at the window, assuming that he had stopped paying attention when his gaze doesn’t shift.

You should be listening. You’re new here and you should know what’s going on because any bits of detail are crucial to the working of your system. 

Instead, you rip out a sticky note and discreetly place it on the back of Bucky’s metal arm. He doesn’t notice.

You bite your lip to stop yourself from smiling. More post-its from your pile of stationery make their way onto the vibranium, shades of pink, purple, green and yellow decorating his arm like a bulletin board. 

You’re about to contemplate sticking one on his shoulder blade when he whips around to look at you. You freeze, hand in the air with a sticky note. He looks down at his arm, a scoff escaping him in disbelief. 

“Are you serious?” He twists his arm to check the extent of how far you’ve gone. “What are you, six?”

“How’d it take you so long to notice?” You watch as he tugs them off one by one, counting to see how many you had managed to get on there.

“It’s impossible not to zone out in these shitty meetings,” he mumbles, pulling off the last one, crumpling all of them into a ball to throw at you. You skilfully avoid them. 

“Don’t you feel pressure or heat or anything here?” You poke at his metal arm.

“No.” He clenches and releases the fist. “It can block bullets though.”

You snort. “Bet that’s a popular line in bed.”

He rolls his eyes. “I mean, it helps that I can’t feel anything. Sometimes,” he adds the last part as an afterthought. 

“Like when you’re blocking bullets.”

“Especially then.” He nods. 

“Would you ever want to?” you ask casually. “Like if you got the choice, would you prefer having feeling in that arm?”

“I don’t know.” He’s thought about it, but it doesn’t seem feasible in his line of work. He’d like it, though, to feel sand slipping through his fingers and the comforter under his palm. “Maybe when I’m retired.”

“Aren’t you well past that age?”

“Shut up.” He rolls his eyes. “And pay attention. You’re next.”

“So you are listening.” True to his word, Steve asks about what’s going on with your team. “Traitor.” 

Tony shoots off about how you only had to test it out on a small batch first to see if you could acquire the targeted data without compromising anything else. You chime in about a few specifics, and Bruce more or less just confirms what you both are saying, only stopping to let them know that you’d be finished in a day or two.

Steve nods, moving on to the next committee.

“Did I get a good grade?” you whisper when you lean back again.

“B minus at best.” 

“Fuck you, dude. I was great,” you protested. “It’s definitely worth a gold sticker.”

Someone shushes you sharply. You apologise quietly, whacking Bucky’s metal arm when you see a dumb smirk on his face. 

He narrows his eyes at you. 

You try sticking another post-it on him.

You’re only here for a week. That’s what he’s been told. Over six times, actually, after which he’s been told to go away the next time he asked.

No one’s brought up the job offer so he asks Tony if it was true and all he gets is a dismissive ‘yeah, whatever’. Besides, you haven’t told him if you accepted or denied it yet so isn’t sure if this entire thing is set in stone, per se.

So then why do you have a giant box of your belongings that you’re lugging around the lab, looking to set down?

And why does Tony allow you a table right in the centre of the lab for everyone to see as soon as they walk in?

There are a gazillion trinkets, picture frames and obnoxiously bright stationery that stands out against the dull minimalism of the lab.

“Every single one of these is a fire hazard,” he reports, standing over your desk.

You give him a side glance before reaching over to the side of your desk, pulling up a fire extinguisher and setting it on the table in front of him. “I came prepared, bitch boy.”

He doesn’t dignify that with a response. He chooses to look at what exactly you’ve brought with you because it’s a lot.

There are small cards with ‘thank you!’ sprawled on them in uneven lettering, bits and pieces of paper with small cartoons on them, little clay models and other miniature trophies with ‘you’re the best!’ under it.

“Your students gave you these?” He can’t remember the last time he gave his teacher anything other than a headache.

“Sometimes they learn or communicate better when they have something to keep their hands busy.” There’s a certain fondness in your voice that he isn’t used to hearing. “I end up with a lot of doodles and craft.”

“’s nice of them.” He can tell that this means a lot to you. He hasn’t seen it before.

He thinks the little decorations are adorable and maybe he’d keep another fire extinguisher on hand, just in case. 

Until you start pulling out a set of framed photos and his smile drops.

Several collages of Bucky in flower crowns, him with terribly edited backgrounds of beaches and mountains, a photo of him laughing with ‘Live, Laugh, Love’ next to it in an italicised font.

“What the fuck,” he states, grabbing one of them.

You stifle a laugh, pulling out several more to place along your table.

“Where did you fucking get these?” He starts pulling them off the table one by one.

“I don’t think you know how much the internet is obsessed with you.” You set an especially large one of him in a Hello Kitty bowtie right in the centre. He doesn’t miss the star shaped frame you chose for this.

“What is wrong with you?” He swipes that up immediately, looking for a place to discard, possibly burn these pictures. “Why do you even have these?”

“It’s imperative that people know we’re friends.” You bite your lip, bringing out the last thing to annoy him.

“What is that?” A teddy bear with a blue jacket and a grey felt arm stared into his soul.

“A Bucky bear.” Don’t laugh, don’t laugh, don’t laugh. “Limited edition.”

He snatches it along with the fifteen other picture frames, thinly veiled distress and mostly disgust on his face.

“I hate you.”

“But I love you.” You lift the small heart shaped locket you hung on one of the pictures of your class.

You use both your hands to click it open for him, watching his face morph into one of disbelief.

Bucky my beloved, it read on the right with a small picture of him on the left looking intensely disgruntled. He doesn’t bother asking where you found that specific picture of him outside a Burger King at 3am.

He doesn’t even make an effort to take it away this time. He knows that you’ll simply bring up more and more until you drove him crazy.

“You still have to see the Avengers calendar.” You reach for the inside. “I changed all the pictures to you, it looks great-”

He turns around and leaves before you get a chance to flip open the pages.

He wanders around, looking for the best disposal area he can find. He knows there’s a giant fireplace in the common room in the Tower, and for that, he’d have to go up a couple of floors.

He steps into the elevator, chin pressing down on the several picture frames in his hands to prevent them from falling over.

No one sees him carrying a couple of fan edited pictures and merchandise of him. Which was good.

Unfortunately, the doors ding open on the next floor and his best friend steps on with possibly the worst timing ever.

“Buck?” Steve sounds confused. He should be, considering the sight.

Bucky shimmies slightly to get a better grip on his belongings. “Steven.”

Steve glances at what he’s holding.

“Is this,” Steve pauses, trying to frame his words correctly to sound as supportive as possible, “a therapy thing?”

“No.”

Steve waits for a further explanation.

“It’s Y/N’s,” he elucidates. Steve’s eyebrows furrow.

“Why are there so many pictures of you?” He looks at the content in his hands a little closer. “And a bear.”

“She’s evil. And I hate her.”

“Alright.” It doesn’t answer his question but his friend looks irked enough.

The elevator dings to the common room floor.

Bucky turns on his heel to head toward the place to set all the pictures on fire. He saves the picture frames to give back to you though, he’s sure those cost money. But he makes sure every last square inch of the picture with several hearts around his portrait burns to ash.

Bucky knows that by the time Saturday afternoon rolls around, the three of you would have been working for thirty hours straight, scrambling to get the last minute details done.

You’re still at it but he can tell through the adrenaline of the upcoming deadline that you’re exhausted. 

Now he’s grouchy but he’s not an asshole. He’s already done two coffee runs for the team and brought you food when you didn’t show up for lunch. He mumbles something and dismisses it when you call out a ‘thank you’ his way. He considers it a debt repaid for the gyros.

He’s still keeping an eye on you but along with an emergency box of doughnuts for any sugar rushes that may be needed and bottles of water that he occasionally leaves at the corner of the table for you three to subconsciously keep yourself hydrated. 

“Are you sure we checked it?”

“Yes.” Bruce nods.

“Double checked it?”

“Yes.”

“Triple checked it.”

“Yes.” 

You look satisfied enough to move on to the next item. “Pass me the welding torch for a second.”

Bucky has a book in front of him that he hasn’t moved beyond the second page of. He’s more interested in seeing who collapses from burnout first. He has the infirmary on speed dial. 

After another hour or so Tony holds up a silver tablet, roughly the same size as a smartphone, examining it from all sides.

“That’s it,” he states. “The final product.”

You exhale lightly.

“We should name it.” You have your hands on your hips, looking down at it in wonder. Maybe the zero hours of sleep was finally kicking in because you couldn’t believe you were finally done. 

“You got any suggestions?” Tony asks. 

To be frank, no, you didn’t.

“No.”

“Okay, we’ll do that later.” Tony sets it down, not sounding too disappointed. “F.R.I.D.A.Y, tell the team to get down here, please.”

“Yes, boss.”

Bucky jumps off his chair to join you in the lab, leaving the book behind. 

It only takes a few moments for the others to join. Fury and Steve walk in together, already engaged in conversation.

“Greetings.” You clap your hands together. “We did it. We think.”

“We think?” Nick raises an eyebrow.

“We know,” Bruce clarifies quickly, stepping in. “We’re positive it works. We tested it out.”

Tony pulls up the holograph of F.R.I.D.AY’s system, sliding the tablet to the middle of the table.

“Is it secured under FRIDAY���s core?”

“Locked and loaded.” Tony hits the table lightly to signify that it was safe.

“I think we’re ready,” Bruce confirms.

“We better be, or else half the country is suddenly going to lose their internet connection,” you say under your breath.

“What?” Bucky’s eyebrows knit together.

“Nothing,” you beamed, “Okay F.R.I.D.A.Y., run sequence, global parameter.”

“Running sequence,” F.R.I.D.A.Y. parrots. 

There was no going back now. 

From what Bucky can see, Tony looks fairly confident but you have your bottom lip caged between your teeth, chewing on it nervously. 

There are several hundreds of photographs popping up and disappearing within a minute. Everything looks like it’s going according to plan.

The giant holograph of the AI dims. Your face drops when F.R.I.D.A.Y. seems to sputter to a halt. 

No one breathes.

In the midst of the tension, Clint mutters if they should play some background music. It’s followed by a swift ‘ow’ when Natasha flicks him in the shoulder.

You could hear a pin drop.

It suddenly picks back up again, running faster than the last time and the sigh everyone collectively heaves is almost comical.

It runs for a few seconds more before a list of names suddenly pop up accompanied by a series of photographs and geo locations.

“Sequence complete. Six names detected, zero encroachment on public or private databases,” F.R.I.D.A.Y. broadcasted. “Location determined to be Holland. Exact coordinates are computed into the quinjet.”

You let out a small cheer, looping your arm around Bruce, squeezing him in a half hug. He has a smile on his face, dropping his head as he laughs slightly. 

“How dangerous are they?” Tony, however, continues to ask.

“A few prior convictions and a series of similar threats. Danger level determined to be at approximately five out of ten.” 

“That’s not bad,” Steve commented. “Looks like we don’t need the full team there.”

“Romanoff, Barton, Wilson, Rogers can go ahead and take care of that,” Nick finally spoke up. “Everyone else is working security tomorrow, just in case anyone else decides that terrorism is on their fuckin’ to-do list for the day.”

“Buck, assemble a team and go over strategy for tomorrow,” Steve adds on. “Everyone else go suit up, wheels up in thirty minutes.” 

“Fuckin’ Holland,” Sam scoffs, shaking his head. “Of all the places.” 

“What do you have against Holland?” Nat asks as they leave together.

“Just don’t like ‘em.” Their voices grow faint the further they get.

“Hey.” A small greeting from behind you has you turning around.

Wanda stands in front of you and you have to ignore the fact that the most powerful being on Earth is talking to you. 

“Hey,” you say back.

“I just wanted to say congratulations. You did a great job.” Bits and pieces of her accent poked out. She didn’t seem like she was putting in the effort to cover it up as opposed to the press interviews you had heard a few years ago. 

“Thank you.” You smile. “T’was a team effort.”

“Well, we owe you one anyway,” Steve joins the conversation, leaving aside Tony who was still talking to Bruce.

“I wish I was humble enough to turn it down but I’m not.” You laugh. “It’s nice to have an arsenal of superheroes at my disposal.”

Steve looks like he’s going to respond but his attention is drawn towards F.R.I.D.A.Y.’s announcement that the quinjet was ready to go. He shoots you an apologetic look but you sign for him to go on, you’d meet with him later.

You watch as he claps Tony on the back, telling him to go get some sleep and something with more nutritional value than a pizza pocket in him, nodding at Bruce before taking leave. 

“Y/L/N,” Nick stands beside you, looking ahead at the conversations being had as Steve tugs Clint along with him.

“Nicky,” you tease.

“I know at least seven underground prisons I can put you in if anyone hears you calling me that,” he says stoically. 

“We all know you won’t get rid of me.” You shake your head. “Who’s gonna send you a Christmas card then, huh?”

He simply shakes his head, jutting his hand out and offering a handshake. “Not sure anyone here could handle another day of a highly caffeinated, sleep-deprived Stark.”

“Just say ‘thanks’, Nick, geez.” You roll your eyes. 

Bucky watches the entire interaction unfurl; only the body language, not employing the lip-reading ability. 

“You’re welcome.” You let go of his hand, a devilish look on your face. “You know what I want in return.”

Nick gives you a long, hard stare that could probably melt through Steve’s shield before turning around to leave. 

But Bucky doesn’t miss the subtle high-five he gives you while walking out, unbeknownst to anyone else, bringing the biggest grin to your face.

He makes it a point to ask you what the fuck kind of leverage you have over the man for him to play favourites with you. 

You finally collapse at your desk, letting out a loud exhale. You clench your eyes shut, your body finally melting into your chair. You look exhausted.

He’s not sure how to help. You don’t seem like you have the energy to tell him.

Bucky leaves a doughnut and water bottle on the table in front of you before shuffling out of the room quietly. 

He’s certain that he’s spent far too long in Bruce’s lab this week. He liked the man as much as the next guy, but he probably wouldn’t come down there for the foreseeable future. 

You’re at your assigned desk, reading light illuminating the space. Thankfully you’ve cleared up most of your stuff from the table, leaving no more liabilities to fall over in case he walked into the desk. 

“So you’re done for the week.” His voice surprises you. You were scrolling through your phone, slightly hunched over.

“It appears so.” You put your phone down, swivelling the chair to look at him. 

“How’d it go?” He leans against your table, making sure he isn’t using his full weight.

“Well, I slept for fifteen hours straight, so...” you leave him to connect the dots. He’s done the same several times.

“You’re probably gonna need more,” he says, mostly from his own experience, “I’ll see you tomorrow then?”

“Actually-” you reach beside your table and lug your gigantic box of belongings onto the table with a loud thud, “-you won’t.”

He looks at the box that was nearly overflowing with its contents, the majority of the space being taken up by empty picture frames. “I thought you said Tony offered you a job.” 

“He did,” you confirm. “I didn’t accept.”

“Why?” He watches you shift through a few things, adjusting it so that it wouldn’t fall over.

“This whole thing- it’s cool and all, but it’s not what I want to do.” You shrug. “I like teaching. I miss my class.”

He gaze lands on one of the thank you notes sticking out from the corner of the box. “Ah.”

“Back to school from tomorrow.”

“And evil on the weekends?” he prods, dropping a pen into the heap of stationery. 

“Obviously.” You give him a lopsided smile. “Where else am I gonna use all this brilliance?”

You point to your head. He lets out a small exhale in the form of a laugh.

“Speaking of-” You look like you just remembered something.  

You rummage through your backpack and pull out a small container, handing it to him.

“What’s this?” He turns it over, looking for any hidden clues. “Are you proposing again, because I’ve said no-”

“I’m not proposing,” you interrupt, “yet.”

He gives you a deadpan look.

“Open it,” you urge, and he complies.

Two small squares sit side-by-side. They’re slick black, barely bigger than the face of a dice.

“You put one of them here-” You tap on his bicep “-and the other here.” You tap his shoulder, a few inches below his clavicle.

“What does it do?” He thinks it’s like Nat’s little taser things, a nifty little tool that he could use on missions.

“It, uh-” you hesitate “-it allows you to feel sensation in your metal arm. Heat, pressure, texture.”

His breath hitches in his throat. He doesn’t mean for it to happen, it just does.

“You said that sometimes you’re glad you couldn’t because of the bullets and stuff. They’re detachable, so just take them off when you go on missions and wherever it is you Spandex ambassadors go.” You scoff slightly. 

He can’t remember the last time he felt something soft with that arm or used it for something that wasn’t directly related to his job.  

“I’m not messing with what the Wakandans gave you. It’s the most advanced piece of tech out there.” You shrug. “But if you ever want to feel it when someone attaches sticky notes to your arm, this could work. Just thought it’d be nice to have an option.”

He can’t decipher what he’s feeling right now. He looks up at you, only to catch you eyeing him cautiously, assessing his reaction. When you notice he’s looking at you, a nervous smile makes its way onto your face. 

His stomach does a flip. 

“Thank you,” he says quietly. 

“Don’t mention it.” You sound a little relieved, picking up the box that he’s pretty sure weighed a ton what with all his memorabilia in it. “See you next week.”

He doesn’t know how to explain what it means to him. 

Instead, he shoves his hands into his pockets. “What are you doing later?”

“Nothing.” You pause. “Why?”

“Are you gonna watch the parade?” 

“Yeah, probably.” You shift your weight to your other leg to compensate for the box.

“Want some company?”

“Aren’t you heading a security division?” You have to consciously hide the bewilderment from your voice. 

“Yeah. The place I’m stationed just so happens to have a good look into the street,” he explains, toying with the bracelet on his wrist. “Can’t really promise that I’ll be paying attention to it or that I’d even be there the whole time but for the most part...” he trails off. 

“Uh-” You force yourself to shove aside your surprise at his determination, “yeah, sure. That’d be cool.”

He nods. “Okay. See you there.” 

“See you,” you murmur as you walk to the elevator. 

He opens the tiny container to look at the small chips. They’re still there, silently like they don’t change his world just by existing. 

Gosh.

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