#anyways it’s an ableist way of thinking

[thehouseofgrey]

I think I mentioned this in my tags yesterday but the general opinion of like “fandom is a safe space for people to relax” is such a huge red flag bc this always means “so i can post the most foul catastrophic bullshit you ever seen in your life and you can’t call me racist/transphobic/homophobic/mysogynist/ableist/etc”. So i was already somebody who mostly kept to myself and my little groups of other people i trust.

But for me i think it really was the like 2020 trend of writing fanfic about race riots. It was just so braindead that i could not recover from it. White people are so fucking stupid god bless.

Ive seen so many interesting black main characters sidelined for white bg characters or turn into the most antiblack stereotype imaginable. But the second you breathe the word “racist” you’re the one ruining things for everybody else. You’re the one who needs to ‘curate your experience’. Well, it turns out that if you curate your experience as a black person esp a black queer person enough to find peace you just end up out of fandom entirely.

This isnt even about one fandom in particular just fandom in general.

But if you want a recent example: i had to block so many people from my oldest existing fandom for the way they reacted to the casting of a 12 year old black girl for the role of a character originally written to be white and blonde. The way these bitches fell the fuck out like they had been personally attacked by a child. (Who was cast in that role at the specific discretion of the author ftr, who then had to publicly go on record to tell the fandom to stop being racist to a BABY or get the fuck out bc they were in this child’s directs and DMs calling her slurs and telling her to kill herself. Again, SHE WAS TWELVE.) So many people, grown ass adults, this series has been out for 20 years these people are in their fucking thirties, harassing a baby over a fictional character. Heinous. Percy Jackson fandom i will literally never forgive you for bullying that girl off the internet and Leah Jeffries babygirl I hope you thrive, I’m so sorry for what they did to you sweet thing.

Star wars. Imma just leave this one at that. You already know what they did. They already know what they did. They love to deny it. Because it was what? Unforgivable. Iktr

To go even further back, and this one has probably been argued to death but like huger games, rue. Another example of people being so unbelievably rancid to a child. Hmm. Something cyclical here. I wonder.

I could keep going and talk about a dozen other fandoms i’ve been in its all the same. I’m not sorry to say that the fact that steven universe still even HAS fans after that shit Sugar pulled is damning to all nonblack people. All of them. Girl even if you ignored everything else that hazard to society put into that shitshow, a HUMAN ZOO (explicitly specifically called that) where the detainees are all white hippies who are HAPPY TO STAY THERE is busted. Like beyond hope of recovery. Thats apocalyptic.

Oh! And just the sheer number of times ive entered any space regardless of whether it was for a specific fandom or not and been told “we dont talk about politics here” only for people to be allowed to talk about any other type of politics but not race. Hmmm!

Damn i said i was gonna keep going and then I remembered. My bad yall. Anyway. White people are beyond saving. And yes if your first reaction to that statement was “but what about—” i mean you too. I’m so tired.

Actually, since that anon brought it up yesterday, let's open the floor!

As a Black fan/blogger/creator etc., if you once participated in a certain fandom and decided to pull back or stop altogether: why?

What fandom/s? What informed the decision? What was the last straw (if there was one)? Open the floodgates of your heart, if you need.

(obviously you don't have to get too detailed if you don't want or are scared, it's your tags.)

[artanisansa]

I’m getting so pissed reading some tweets on Twitter (now X) about the Jonsa, and to some extent, the Sansa fandom. So pissed that I have to remind myself I’m an adult and this is just the internet lol. But the gaslighting and the historical revisionism are actually insane— the T*rg fandom is rewriting the story right in front of our eyes.

I think, first of all, it's important to acknowledge that yes, every fandom, including ours, has people who have said problematic things and engaged in fandom wars in unhealthy and bizarre ways. But the narrative that only our fandom has acted this way is a blatant lie and a disingenuous claim.

I wasn’t active in the ASOIAF fandom before season 8 came out, but during that season, I was already in the fandom, following what both sides were saying. At the time, I didn’t ship Jonsa (I found it weird, lol), and I was also a Da*nerys stan (someone who actually engaged in fandom wars against dudebros and Jon stans because I wanted Daenerys to win the Iron Throne, lol). But even then, I was already a Sansa stan first and foremost (and that was the reason I started to hate the D*ny/T*rg fandom).

Anyways, what I want to say is that I really saw both sides of this fandom war. And as I said before, the Sansa and Jonsa fandoms did have some problematic stuff… but oh Lord, so did the Da*nerys and Targaryen fandom.

I remember so vividly people making ableist jokes about Bran, calling the Starks (and the North overall) white supremacists, comparing the Starks to the KKK, making ʻʻrape jokesʼʼ about show-Sansa's plotline. And their hateful comments went even further— they would actively harass the actors who portrayed the Stark family. I'm not really a Sophie stan, but I do remember people making jokes when her dog died, sending her death threats, and when she was pregnant, wishing death on her and her unborn child.

Overall, there were, and still are, so many hateful, misogynistic, ableist, and problematic things coming from that fandom. This fandom actually has a reputation on the internet for having super sensitive stans who stick their noses everywhere, fight with most parts of the ASOIAF fandom, and harass people who disagree with them. And this is well-known not only on Tumblr, but also on Twitter, Reddit, and elsewhere.

So it's really insane when people on Twitter are like, "Oh, we hate Jonsa because they were evil incarnated." SO WERE YOU.

[i-have-no-braincells]

i think parents should stop adopting the mindset that needing to remind your children about things they need to do is a bad thing.

[resvarie]

inevitable anders dragon age qifrey wha cover redraw

[severalmoremutants]

Hi, yeah, thank you for bringing this up. I really like Puck as a character and my intention with those tags wasn’t to be ableist at all, but looking at them again, I can see how I came across that way. Im sorry to have upset you

To clarify- I don’t think it’s strange that Puck finds himself attracted to Heather, it’s a completely reasonable thing to happen in their situation and honestly he would’ve been a much better partner for her than Madison Jeffries (or Mac tbh). What’s happening in the panel is a healthy discussion between friends, something that rarely happens in Alpha Flight because everyone is usually bickering, hence why I said Puck and Shaman are the only chill members. It’s an example of Puck not being, to use my own words, ‘weird’ about Heather.

What reads as him being weird about her, to me, is that super intense inner monologue you mentioned. While it’s totally understandable for him to be sad because he feels she’ll never see him as a viable partner because of his dwarfism, he also does spend the majority of his time thinking about her, even in situations where she isn’t present or relevant. The undeniably ableist writing in Alpha Flight is definitely in part to blame for this, like surely the character with dwarfism would have more interesting things to think about all the time than his crush and the fact that he has dwarfism. It’s also a reflection on how melodramatic romantic feelings can be written, especially in older comics.

There’s also probably something to be said about how, via the demon sword retcon, he is at least 50 years older than Heather, which does make things weirder. I understand why people might want to ignore that retcon though, as it does kind of erase his dwarfism and turn it into something magic and fantasy instead of something real. Logan/Wolverine is another character that’s lowkey weird about Heather and he’s also 50+ years older than her, but I would definitely say he’s worse about it. Logan’s fixation with Heather feels more like an extension of his general thing for married redheads, while Puck’s feelings are definitely more genuine, they’re just written unfortunately.

A better way to say what I said in the tags would be that Puck is usually written as quite an intelligent character- not necessarily calm but more level headed, especially as the story progresses- and he, like Shaman, can often serves as a contrast to some of his more intense teammates like Sasquatch or Northstar. But that often goes out the window when Heather becomes involved and Puck’s entire mind switches to revolve around her.

So really it’s not Puck being weird, that was wrong and I apologise, it’s the writers being weird.

Anyway, sorry to rub you the wrong way, hope this clears things up a bit

still thinking about that time where shaman and puck were talking and Michael sat his ass down to talk to puck easier

[bennetsbonnet]

Much has been made of Mr Darcy's "confession" to Elizabeth that he does not converse easily with strangers. It is repeatedly used to support neurodivergent interpretations of his character. And I suppose that when taken at face value, a character confessing that they do not easily converse with strangers and struggle to catch their tone or appear interested in conversation can absolutely scream AUTISM! (I say as an autistic person myself)

But this line is often taken in isolation. When considered in terms of the passage in which it appears in Chapter 31, it appears far less of a smoking gun than may initially be suspected. After some discussion about Elizabeth and Darcy's prior acquaintance in Hertfordshire, Colonel Fitzwilliam asks Elizabeth for information about Darcy's behaviour there. She readily supplies it:

'Pray let me hear what you have to accuse him of,' cried Colonel Fitzwilliam. 'I should like to know how he behaves among strangers.' 'You shall hear then—but prepare yourself for something very dreadful. The first time of my ever seeing him in Hertfordshire, you must know, was at a ball—and at this ball, what do you think he did? He danced only four dances, though gentlemen were scarce; and, to my certain knowledge, more than one young lady was sitting down in want of a partner. Mr Darcy, you cannot deny the fact.' 'I had not at that time the honour of knowing any lady in the assembly beyond my own party.'

What Darcy leaves out here is that it was he himself who chose not to be introduced to anybody. As we learn from the description of his behaviour at the Meryton assembly in Chapter 3:

Mr Darcy danced only once with Mrs Hurst and once with Miss Bingley, declined being introduced to any other lady, and spent the rest of the evening in walking about the room, speaking occasionally to one of his own party.

Anyway, Elizabeth correctly does not buy his excuses. Not only does she respond with a cutting sarcastic remark, but she tries to bring the discussion with an end by speaking to Colonel Fitzwilliam:

'True; and nobody can ever be introduced in a ball-room. Well, Colonel Fitzwilliam, what do I play next? My fingers wait your orders.'

But Darcy does not get the hint and continues conversing with Elizabeth rather than quitting while he's ahead. However, I don't believe him to be missing a social cue here. Rather, this is an exceedingly conceited man who cannot conceive that anyone would not want to speak to such a Superior Being as he and more-so, is determined to defend himself from a perceived slight against his impeccable character.

Then we come to the passage containing the oft-cited line which allegedly contains proof of his neurodivergency:

'Perhaps,' said Darcy, 'I should have judged better, had I sought an introduction; but I am ill-qualified to recommend myself to strangers.' 'Shall we ask your cousin the reason of this?' said Elizabeth, still addressing Colonel Fitzwilliam. 'Shall we ask him why a man of sense and education, and who has lived in the world, is ill-qualified to recommend himself to strangers?' 'I can answer your question,' said Fitzwilliam, 'without applying to him. It is because he will not give himself the trouble.'

Once again, Elizabeth does not buy his excuse for even a single second. She's fully aware of all the advantages a man such as he will have received in society (opportunities not open to women, might I add!) and draws attention to that fact. It's a brilliant, cutting line from her and she really set that one up for Colonel Fitzwilliam to deliver the knockout blow.

Not only do we have the testimony of Mr Darcy's cousin, that 'he will not give himself the trouble,' to appear cordial to strangers, but we have evidence from Wickham too. Although after this statement, Wickham quickly goes onto misrepresent Darcy's kindness to the poor, which contradicts Mrs Reynold's later testimony, I do believe Wickham to be telling the truth (for once!) here, when he tells Elizabeth in Chapter 16:

'Mr Darcy can please where he chooses. He does not want abilities. He can be a conversible companion if he thinks it worth his while.'

Which, again, demonstrates that Darcy is capable when he wants to be. That is the crucial point. Autistic people fundamentally lack the ability to understand social cues, they cannot turn it on and off as they please because they are snobs.

So, now we come to the infamous line about Darcy's supposed social struggles, and I hope that I've provided enough context to the line to make you see that it should not be taken at face value:

'I certainly have not the talent which some people possess,' said Darcy, 'of conversing easily with those I have never seen before. I cannot catch their tone of conversation, or appear interested in their concerns, as I often see done.' 'My fingers,' said Elizabeth, 'do not move over this instrument in the masterly manner which I see so many women’s do. They have not the same force or rapidity, and do not produce the same expression. But then I have always supposed it to be my own fault—because I will not take the trouble of practising. It is not that I do not believe my fingers as capable as any other woman’s of superior execution.'

Again, Elizabeth is not buying his excuses for even a single second and tells him if he feels like that, maybe he should put the effort in. She has seen him in numerous social settings and been thoroughly unimpressed with his behaviour which, when you consider his rudeness to her at the Meryton assembly, she has every right to be.

So, what do I make of the line?

Well, I think it's abundantly clear that Darcy absolutely can speak to people when he wants to. Perhaps, in his mind, he struggles to make that deeper connection and make friends easily. But making friends is not always easy, it's a process you must invest time and effort into. If you do not do that, it stands to reason that you will struggle. Plus, if you hold others to ridiculous standards (as Darcy does) without recognising and fixing the flaws within yourself, you're not going to have deep, lasting friendships.

While this quote may appear to be a moment of vulnerability where he does confess a fault of his, which is astounding given his pride, personally I do not think it was not a soul-searching exercise. It was to make Elizabeth stop grilling him. It was self-serving. Although, I don't think he's entirely lying. Darcy is veeeery careful with his words and though this statement is not considered and perhaps comes out rather abruptly, it doesn't necessarily follow that it isn't true. I can imagine that it is probably something he's felt for a while, yet it is a rather desperate attempt to defend himself from a woman who sees right through him.

I think perhaps Darcy does realise that he isn't as naturally gifted as other men he knows (such as Wickham, Colonel Fitzwilliam and Mr Bingley) when it comes to forming acquaintances. However, he looks outwards and turns that bitterness against the world rather than looking inwards, reflecting upon himself and improving his manners which would be the correct thing to do. Thankfully, he later does this, but it took him twenty eight years...

In addition, Darcy appeared to have been under the illusion that he could coast by on Pemberley's reputation... which has always worked... until he met Elizabeth. For perhaps the first time, he encounters a woman who is not awestruck by him and his reputation and delivers the rebuke that he always needed.

So, while personally I'm inclined to believe there is some truth to his statement, as Mr Darcy is many things but he isn't a liar, I think it is said in desperation. His feeling stems from him knowing what he should do, but he can't be bothered to enact it... rather than any inherent social deficiency stemming from being neurodivergent.

Although, even if he does struggle socially, it's still no excuse for the rudeness he displayed to Elizabeth! My main issue with neurodivergent readings of Darcy is when they are deployed to defend his behaviour, when they attribute his rudeness to any potential neurodivergency and when they excuse his laziness. That is an awful message! Autistic people who struggle with social cues often do not, nor should they, go around insulting others. They should and often do put plenty of effort into being considerate and polite. In fact, I think, if anything, a love of rules makes us more likely to have good manners, rather than the reverse.

Ultimately, I'm not sure this line makes Mr Darcy the sympathetic-poor-sweet-innocent-shy-boy-autistic-representation that people want him to be. In fact it makes him look even worse, if anything. On matters such as these, he is every inch the conceited proud man he was widely believed to be at the Meryton assembly. Luckily, Elizabeth is an incredibly smart woman, who doesn't fall for it and immediately calls him out on his behaviour in a way that he has never experienced before. As she should!

[recent-rose]

hey i dont go here but jayce's speech about viktor in s2e9 isn't him saying 'u should never have tried to heal yourself, you were perfect the way u were x3' it was him saying that viktor's physical health never made him any less beautiful, never made him any less important, never made him any LESS, period. he wasn't saying viktor didn't need to pursue a cure for his ills like come on his motivation to invent hextech was to help people. to cure disease. viktor's first and foremost among them.

he said what he said because it was the thing viktor craved to hear most in his life, and that is why those were the words that punched through his defences even as the machine herald: jayce loved him wholly and unconditionally, healthy or ill, good or bad, human or inhuman. he would always be loved just the same.

[firestorm09890]

Penny stardewvalley makes me so sad because she's SO sensitive to, like, basically everything you tell her (telling her that you can't stand children while two children are nearby is a pretty lousy move but -1500 friendship?? being a jerk to other characters' faces typically loses you about 50 points, and if you choose the option labeled "creepy" and ask Leah for a kiss in her 2 heart event she physically hits you and kicks you out of her house but that's only -100 friendship…) and so if you want to befriend her it's a whole lot of lying and tiptoeing around her feelings (2 hearts: George was right but saying that makes her feel bad. 6 hearts: her food sucks but even if you try to be polite about it she feels like a failure; only a bald-faced lie pleases her. 8 hearts: saying you don't want to be tied down with a family loses you a little bit of friendship and she's only happy if you say you want kids) and I can't help but think she's a product of her environment. She lives in a trailer with only her mother, who gets drunk every night and has something of a temper. Penny's like a skittish rescue animal who won’t even come out from hiding under something unless you leave her lots of treats

[d1sc01nf3rn0]

I'm seeing a lot of people with neurodivergency, specially under the autism spectrum say that "Laios is annoying, never shuts up, is insensitive, and I can't stand him"; and the irony is not lost on me lmao.

[nullfier]

annoying conversations happening on twitter this week about dazai and his canonical whoreness .... very ableist delivery of people treating him like a tiny 22 yr old minor who clearly doesn't know what sex is and its getting weeeeeiirrrrd ...........

[deoidesign]

I’m a trans man that recently got diagnosed with hyper mobile eds, so now seeing Steve makes me extra happy, because cool disabled ftm rep. Thanks for making the radical dude bro, he’s funky.

same disability (waving hand emoji)

Always extremely fulfilling to know my work makes people happy in some small way, it means a lot. Thank you for sharing with me

[mourn-and-watch]

people get angry at solas' potential redemption because anders never received that kind of treatment but i think we really. shouldn't blame his writer for actually liking their character and giving him some depth and opportunities to take his arc in different directions depending on what players think of him. there are other people responsible for all the questionable choices in anders' writing and i think it's actually a good thing their approach to morally grey characters isn't a standard for the series anymore

[ersatz-introspective]

bcs i'm aware of how i automatically percieve people, i earnestly try to give the benefit of the doubt a lot. i tend to believe people are Actually Just That Dumb™ when they're joking about something, so i try to get ahead of that & tell myself people are joking when they say something stupid, so that i don't look stupid

all i've learnt in doing that, is most of the time, people aren't joking. they actually did mean what they say, & i made the situation 10× worse by laughing at what they said.

not only does it reinforce the idea in my head that people are Dumb so i need to take the reins on literally Everything, but it also leads people to believe i'm making fun of them for saying something silly & talking to me less, when, if i knew it were a genuine thing they thought, i would have gladly explained it without judgement

but i don't really know how to stop treating them as jokes, because what if they ARE joking so they laugh at me for how Stupid i am for taking the bait? i can't handle being made a fool of, i think i'd rather die

[simptasia]

being in the DS9 fandom, you'll discover there are so many ways for people to be wrong about julian bashir

[lokiinmediasideblog]

Talking shit with nuance in the DMs with someone who's also seen the horrors of Loki TWT is nice ^_^

For context, I really HATE Loki TWT (I find Lokiblr more tolerable, maybe because it's easier to avoid shit as I have the algorithm recommendations turned off. Y'all should try that.). Everyone's awful over there, be it anti series, Sylki, or Lokius.

Like do they all know they can express grievances without getting ableist and nasty?

But some people from Loki TWT unfortunately are also on Tumblr...

[fiveeeee]

i think ppl forget sometimes that ppl who genuinely do not feel emotions do not do much of anything, bc u need emotions to feel motivated to do things and make many decisions. not feeling anything are characteristics of depression and schizoid personality disorder and both are characterized by lack of drive to do much of anything. often ppl use emotionless as short for smart and cold but truthfully those ppl are not emotionless, they must be motivated by something whether curiosity or fear or a sense of utilitarian morality.

and i think also ppl forget there is a price for repressing ur emotions. that shit is incredibly taxing on ur body, incredibly stressful. it will straight up make u sick. so all of this must be considered when u have a character that doesnt express themself much.