#anyways i have so much i could say abt how stupid this is
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verytendou · 12 days ago
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Posts that make me feel genuinely insane as i put the word “profiling” on the shelf of “internet not allowed to use this until you write me a 13 page paper on the historical context, modern connotations, and real life implications of this word”
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hemorrhoidbabe69 · 6 days ago
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Pokemon ive heard of em
#my art#been thinking abt this au for weeks since i talked abt teams w my friend#I was gonna draw them with their partner pokemon but i realized 1. Idk how to draw big cats and 2. Idk how to draw birds#But what i do know how to draw is blobs (with or without hair) so the choice was obvious from their respective teams#Neither of their outfits are themed after their respective partners either btw. I didnt know what do do for kris#so i just went w a dancing pokemon to base it off of the way some trainer classes have pokemon motifs like models w liepard coats#Dominos on the other hand. Well. You know .#Anyway! Some thoughts#The region would be similar to sinnoh re: lots of folklore and ruins all over the place. Similar air of mystique#Theyd both be trainers you meet on your journey that help you out at certain points . double battle random teamup style#Kris would be someone who gives u an hm/helps you out w roadblocks in the gym challenge/is also looking into the Evil Team of the region#And joins u in investigations/teams up w you to fight them sometimes. The ‘definitely not the champion’ trainer of the region (she is ofc)#Dmn on the other hand shows up when ur looking into ruins/old legends/etc. hes very obviously suspicious but does help u sometimes so w/e#Sometimes asks you philosophical questions u can answer yes/no to out of the blue . Also gives u dark glasses#Never shows up when anyone else plot relevant is around. Thered be a moment where kris/a rival/someone shows up and is like who u talking 2#And u turn around and hes gone . Maybe multiple of these moments#Obvi when the time comes to raid the evil hideout hes one of their admins or whatever . Big shocker#Dialogue option where u can say I Knew It or How Could You (answers ‘i should hope so i was being super obvious’/‘are you fucking stupid’)#Maybe a branching path depending on ur answers to his q’s he can betray the badguys at the end or not. Regardless he fucks off after u win#Everythings cleared up u go to the elite four and gasp kris is champion (new outfit ((they both get second outfits for their reveals))#And shes like i helped u out so much bc i hate my fucking job and i rly wanted someone strong enough to beat me 2 show up so i can QUIT#and GO HOME bc id feel bad just leaving when shits still fucked (but obvi much nicer bc this is kris shes very polite)#But shes not gonna throw the match so dont worry etcetc. u beat her yippee! Shes like thank GOD and congratulates you and its all very nice#Shes proud of you wow look how far youve come . Here record your pokemon in the special thing ok thanks goodbye forever#And u never see her again 💞 even if u rechallenge the elite4 shes gone. In this multiverse she doesnt show up in any of those postgame#Battle facilities shes GONE. IM FREEEE WORST EXPERIENCE OF MY FUCKING LIFEEEEE and all that . Good for her#Dominos (if u got him to betray his friends with the power of yesno questions) shows up in the postgame content both in battle facilities +#Those postquests where u catch legendaries and shit . villain hanging out like its normal vibes. He shows no remorse#Scions would be gym leaders ig.Idk if i want twins to be leaders or protags/oblig genderswap rival option. I think that could be fun#ffxiv
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milfbrainrot · 3 months ago
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have always been a bit more neutral to timebomb but it has rly surprisingly grown on me so much ;-; i think i do see it more from the tragedy angle and maybe more one-sided. i'm not sure jinx has ever been in a place to reciprocate the feelings i'm sure ekko has, but it is nice to think about for years down the line and in terms of what could have been.
#arcane tag#i do prefer more understated or fanon ships and i think even getting them canon in an AU it still makes it more understated in the#main timeline to me? and rly good for imagining and tragic for what could've been etc#i also think friend-wise they could have the same exact tragedy - to me the point is just... closeness?#i get some of the backlash to it - like there are definitely things i could get annoyed about if i WANTED to make a big deal out of it#but i think it's sweet and i think regardless of romantic implications the link of ekko and jinx having basically the same trauma all#stem from their own actions (him giving the kids the tip about jayce and powder using the hexcore they got as a result in#catastrophic ways) and landing in such different directions (ekko using that as motivation to build / jinx getting stuck in destruction)#is just so interesting to me#i guess you could have that WITHOUT romance but i do think in the AU world them getting romantically closer makes a lot of sense#and i don't rly think there's a ton of clear romantic stuff in the main timeline that couldn't be read otherwise if it rly pissed people of#that badly lol so it is possible some of my appreciation for the ship comes out of spite from that crowd#honestly so much of the backlash seems geared more toward shippers than actual canon given the subtlety of it until now#which i do nottt vibe with tbh#just at the end of the day to me it is so easy to fall into how much ekko cares abt powder/jinx and how their paths diverged#and i guess i can get how adding a romantic layer would be annoying to some ppl but i think the kind of emotions doesn't#rly matter at the end of the day bc there is that same foundation either way#also when i say i get some of the backlash it's not that i agree with it lol#but if i wanted to force a reason for not vibing with it in that scenario i could#like the fact of not leaving it platonic ('why does everything have to be romantic!') or i'm sure LOTS of other lesbians#are pissed that a non-canon m/f ship has been more popular than canon f/f which.#i mean sometimes that stuff is odd but 9/10 times it's just preference for the dynamics#(signed. a lesbian. who got into the show for f/f and landed in other f/f ships more than the canon one lol)#and at the same time if i wanted to get political about it in retaliation i could highlight that timebomb is interracial#it's mostly stupid at the end of the day and i wish we could focus more on whether the writing was well done with what it meant to do#or just let ppl do what they want for fanon as long as they're not hurting anyone else#i think rly the main thing i would be more willing to listen to is the treatment of ekko as a black character in relation to this#which - if there is anything to that - is a very different story than 'ew m/f!!!!!!!!!1'#anyway sorry my brain is a discourse speedrun simulator at all times bc of being so chronically on tumblr#tl;dr good ship with so much good fan stuff out there
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itsalwaysdark · 6 months ago
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anyways sry its not srs eventually ill get it together . and be a person again. one day
#its just like atm everything that i need is like . not possible. which is oartially my brain being like We have to do this before we this#which sometimes isnt true but sometimes is#like i cant get medicated again or back seeing a psych or back on t until i get a job again#but i cant get a job again utnil i get my ged <- partially untrue but ged would make it a lot easier#but i cant get my ged until i have a job bc it costs money <- if i asked my parents they would probably help me If they had money 2 spare#since like. yk. they want ne to be able to work again so i have money again and ill be another source of income and they care abt me also .#affirmations . ppl donot just see me as a piggy bank they do see me as a person im not judt someone to squeeze money out of thats not how#ppl view me and its fine its fine its fine its fine . it feels so stupid being scared abt that i feel like a rich person whos like She only#likes me for my money 😭 like stfuuu annoying ass. i just ummmm. have a massive fear of debt and like. ppl demanding money from me#unexpectedly or expecting i am going to give them money. not in like a Ohhh fucking ppl want me to donate not it at all im happy to donate#but in like. god this is dumb. eveeytime i got birthday or christmas money as a kid i had to give it to my parents so they could buy food or#gas or whatever. and it never got paid bsck and it felt like shit. but i couldnt ever say no bc then itd be My fault we didnt have food that#week . yk. my first paycheck i had to give it all to my mom for groceries and we got in a fight in the store bc she was like Ok im gonna go#buy pop and my dumbass got upset abt it bc like. my mom told me itd be Necessities nd like. yk. wtvr. it was fucking stupid my entire family#r caffeine addicts so pop is a necessity i was just. rly upset and it felt like my parents saw my money as just. theirs but they had to ask#abt it so i wouldnt get pissy. yk. and they ask me for money a lot usually for food and i dont mind but it like. idk im rly paranoid abt#being a provider and ive got a Lot of guilt abt like. anytime we dont have enough food it feels like my fault bc it was my fault when i wasa#kid if i didnt give up my christmas money for pizza. or whatever. idk its so dramatic like i didnt need the money i was 8 it was selfish of#me to wanna buy fucking. toys or whatever that wasnt more important than My parents being able to get to work or my siblings being able to#fucking. literally eat. or paying bills. like its selfish that im like wahhh wahhh but i wanted to buy vibeo game wif my bday money i#shouldve judt been fucking grateful i was able to help my family. wtvr. I hate connor. wtvr#n then the shit with ugh last year like. yk. and stuff. and then the them stealing 1000 from me not getting into it b4 i get mad. idk.#and im just lazy now i need to get a job again but all the shit like. as i was saying earlier b4 i started whining. idk. i should be happy#that i get to help w bills and stuff that was my dream as a kid#like ever since i was 5 when i was fantasizing abt my future i was like Im gonna marry a prince and then ill be able to afford to pay all of#my families bills and my parents and siblings will be able to go to college and be happy and maybe never have to work bc ill be able to#handle it and ive always like. yk. when i was a dumbass kid i was like Ill go to college so i can get a good job and be useful. of course i#cant ever go to college bc im fucking. useless. and itd just be another burden on my family if i was in debt bc i couldnt help them as much#if i had debt and itd be selfish. and it doesnt matter bc im too stupid to go to college anyway. idk. i wish i could just fix everything#it just feels awful rn im literally just a drain and my family doesnt say it to me yk like. ik theyre happy imback i think they are
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skenpiel · 2 years ago
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i've been occasionally seeing you post about pokemon and i'm Curious,,,,,,,,,,,, what starter did you pick? and what's your team like!!!!
I PICKED CYNDAQUIL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and my team changes a lot cause 1. i get bothered if All my pokemon (including the ones in my pc) arent the same level and 2. theyre all underleveled as FUCK. but mainly i keep a farfetched and poliwhirl as my tm/hm slaves and then i just kinda, pick whoever else is in need of exp. currently its just my misdreavus and then some low level gastly and paras i caught cause they know hypnosis and stun spore and i am getting SICK and TIREDDDD of hunting for raikou -_-
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wifeguycyclonus · 11 months ago
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Orion Pax is naive, he’s just not naive the way ppl seem to think he is
#its more like. lacking in experience outside of a certain setting#he’s naive because he hasnt interacted with a larger section of the world. with ppl who have all sorts of struggles and problems#but ppl sometimes write him as an uwu baby who will be taken advantage of if his few friends dont keep an eye on him#i personally prefer the idea that bc so much of his life has revolved around being an archivist and also being aware#that something is Very Wrong with his world#that he approaches everything with a sense of caution and care that other ppl dont take. he’s suspicious at the same time he’s gracious and#polite#actually i saw somebody say once that he’d be reserved bc of how he came to be at the archives#alpha trion plucking him out of the wilds and dropping him a secure enough middle class job#his fellows would be suspicious of him. he would be used to ppl being wary of him#and maybe that could be part of him getting along so well with megatron in those early days#orion isnt dangerous or weird to megatron. he’s just some nerd who’s good at arguing with him#i think orion would come out of his carefully crafted carefully neutral shell and become a lot more animated#he’s still a but clueless like that scene about wanting to go to an amusement park of all things#but he’s not a stupid uwu baby that big rough megatron is going to ravish at the first chance possible#hm that got longer than i meant#id make it a proper post but. im shy#anyway this is abt tfp orion if it wasnt evident#babble.tag
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pepprs · 2 years ago
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mutuals i got myself into a situation so sticky i don’t even know how to describe it (edit: *describes it* lol). please send thoughts of successful escape my way lol
#purrs#delete later#i SONT understand anything about retirement or insurance whatever and basically imightve signed a contract for smth i didn’t understand#fully and im so scared lol. and i feel so bad bc im stupid and i don’t understand anything and no matter how much peopel#xolain it to me i don’t understand it. i feel like a stupid silly naive little girl rn LOLLLLL i feel so sick#it’s probably fine and not that bad and i didn’t do the wrong step but im freaking out. not just bc of the money situation but also bc they#have to do a. medical exam on me to see how much i would have to pay or whatever 😃😃😃😃😃😃😃😃 wtf#im making it sound like a big bad scary freak thing isigned up for when really it’s not i don’t thin&. it’s just dividend lige insirance but#i don’t understand what any of it means and apparently other stuff is better. idk anything about retirement i only got into this stupid#situation because i had a mandatory retirement selection for work and ididnt understand anything so i scheduled a meeting with a retirement#counselor person to help me figure out which option would be the best for me and he was really nice and helped me a lot but then he started#saying he could help me w additional retirement stuff if i wanted to see what the options were and i was like sure and then he told me abt t#this thing and had me fill out / sign the application in that same meeting to ‘get the process started bc it takes. a long time’ even if i d#decided to pull out later it would be a good thing to get the ball rolling asap if i did end up wanting to do it. but i didn’t understand an#anythi ng and i went along with it anyway and now i might’ve fucked myself over so bad. except i probably didn’t but i feel so bad. bc he wa#was so nice and genuine but maybe he was just trying to sell me a product bc he gets a commission from the insurance company which i he told#me wheni asked him if im getting his help for free. i feel so stupid and guilty omg#and also i signed up for my first credit card but the interest rates are really high which i didn’t realize. and i can’t log into the bank a#account for some reason liek it says my acc doesn’t work. and hr fucked up my pay so i haven’t gotten a time sheet for like 2 pay periods an#and im getting retroactively paid in august but it’s just one more fucking thing and i haven’t gotten the chance to pick new benefits yet#and idk if i can / will bc of my stupid pay situation like i literaly don’t exist in the system rn apparently. i fucking hate all of this i#hate adulting i hate it i hate it i want to explode and hide forever and cry a lot. and my bank account isn’t even my own rn and i don’t und#understand anything about mony or insurance or benefits or credit cards or anything. im so overwhelmed FUCK
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opens-up-4-nobody · 2 years ago
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#i say goodbye to my boss tomorrow#not like officially officially bc im still employed into August so we have meetings#and hopefully we'll collaborate in future on projects and i have papers to write with her still#but like this is the last time ill physically see her bc shes not coming back until August and ill b gone by then#so its like. sad. bc shes my science mum. today she was complaining abt some stupid politics stuff#that went on this week in the department and she was like i kno i should b more professional but i feel like since ur leaving now#were more colleagues and friends. and im like 😭 god dammit ur gonna make me fucking cry#i came this this school to work with u and u were so great. i was so lucky to have ended up in her lab#bc i didnt kno wtf i was doing and shes not perfect but i learned a lot from her and ill b really sad to not b working with her so much#but thats how it goes. ill have to make her something cool as a parting gift#god. thatll b a fucking pain but she deserves something that takes a lot of effort#were meeting tomorrow to go over a protocol but im not sure if that's actually what were doing or if theres a surprise involved#bc she likes to do that and it stresses me the fuck out. she's been wanting to get me ice cream for the last 2 months so that might actually#b what's happening. or both could b happening. ugh. anyway. just me crying abt how im gonna miss my boss who im literally seeing tomorrow#im gonna have to giver her a painfully earnest letter abt how great she is and apologize for kinda having a breakdown#i mean i wasnt totally nonfunctional but like. it was not good and im sure i kinda sucked to b around#but whatever. god. the move it finally on the horizon. it finally feels like its getting real#unrelated
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arolesbianism · 1 year ago
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I am still not over the level cap thing what do you mean level fucking 10
#rat rambles#like do they not realize how fucking pathetically low that is?#like it is So easy to get a follower to level 10 especially late game#like in every playthrough of this game Ive done I always have at least one follower whos past level 40 usually several#Im glad they didnt retroactively lower existing followers levels but it still sucks#it just makes leveling them feel kind of pointless when theyre likely going to passively max out after a certain point anyways#like genuinely I dont even understand what the point of this change is#because its not like getting broke. high level followers is much of a concern early game#and mid game is usually only a potential issue balance wise if youve been putting in a stupid amount of effort since the start#and by the time you get to the late game I. genuinely dont think it matters.#like in early late game again youll only have genuinely broken high levels if youve been going hard at leveling followers#and by the end of the late game its like ok and. let ppl be powerful cmon man.#like theres So many things they could have done to adjust the balancing that wasnt this#like if theyre concerned abt faith generation then make a cap on that or make it not a one to one level thing#if theyre concerned about demons then they could again adjust the scaling slightly or simply make it harder to level followers#they could have even used the deciple thing to help with that by having it be a prerequisite to higher levels#like maybe you could have a couple rings of inner circles with each tier unlocking another ten levels#and they could even add a lower cap at like 50 or smth just dont make it fucking 10#that might genuinely be the worst part of this update and Im not even joking when I say this just killed my motivation to play more#its one of the few things that you were able to keep working on and expanding after unlocking everything else#I genuinely really hope they change this because if not then I think Ill have to drop the game thats how bad it is to me
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unproduciblesmackdown · 20 days ago
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saw ppl talking on twitter About It rather than directly what they were talking about when in recent months they were testifying to a Casual R Word Usage increase & i never saw it on twitter b/c yknow for as relatively few ppl as i Ever followed that activity has decreased a lot lately & i don't think i ever followed accounts where it would apply anyway & very rarely look at even Trends or anything else sitewide. but i feel like i'm seeing a bit of it on here more recently at least in recommended posts that are clearly just drawing from very general Humorous Posts genre like yeah that's just uh y2k style rword usage
#maybe even '90s? by the time i was in elementary school Gay was more so the synonym of choice#obviously it doesn't actually like. idk deplete anyone of a quart of blood to see any Word Usage & depending on the context like#i can ofc be barely bothered at all but i'm not posting about My Personal Experience but rather just the predictable phenomenon#for say alllll the times ppl Love to post about how Oh See This Is Why I Don't Take Ableism Seriously (it's b/c you're ableist? but ok)#about any post where ppl say that like Other Words used as [that's so gay] insults are also just vintage r words#origins as ''technically correct'' terminology & then becoming supposedly Figurative colloquial insults#basically the [f word r word] ''tasteful'' usage talking head moment from the office#& yknow ppl love to pass that around like here's the language cop telling me i can't call someone a stupid idiot. ableism is a joke#(or that ohh they're Dying to take ableism seriously Dying to support disabled ppl but this random tweet has thwarted them!!)#never engaging with The Idea That Words Mean Things / Language Defines & Conveys Ideas i.e. the ableist logic in language#which; also the argument that to Consider if casual familiar language was ableist was sooo easy; So Easy they're not even gonna do it#it's such a low bar simple easy request that i not call people moronic unintelligent simpletons that i would Never#i care so much abt Taking Ableism Seriously that if ppl even suggest that vintage ableist terms are ableist i'll go Lmaooo. no.#& also remark that it makes me even more anti anti ableist. like i'm so sure lol sooo sure it was sooo important to you#or ofc ''This is why ppl are ableist & don't take anti ableism seriously'' it's just the ableism actually but scintillating comment#& yeah nobody was suggesting that it's the Main Primary Most Important Single Mission of anti ableism. and yet.#just asserting that they are & that it's asking too much to Analyze much less indeed change up language. wherrre have i heard that rhetoric#nothing you encounter w/other perfectly Normative ideas baked unquestioned into ''Normal'' vernacular#& sometimes pointed out / criticized by those targeted by those logics to a chorus of Oh Please / Cmon Unserious No Way It's Fine#like if it's so Not a big deal lol then you sure could even begin to consider changing how you Think About & Use Language huh? & Yet.#anyone w/any experience in the Frivolity but also Overwhelming Oppression of like language that Talks About [queer / trans ppl exist]? no?#anyway that tl;dr like that Supposedly the r word was the one bit of ableist language that ppl accepted was; yknow; ableist. And Yet#like no you didn't really think that either or care much. despite that supposedly it was the ppl talking abt ableism in language who were#so Unserious & Unhelpful. & wildly the r word rennaissance is not getting that kind of Daily Twitter QRT events mocking pileon#just the kind of Killjoy Nags account who'd criticize ableism or the pileons on commentary abt it who are like yeah ppl are comfortable#putting the r word out there a lot more again. which has always been about [do you take the concept of ableism seriously At All. no]#like yeah no even here obviously the concept doesn't start & end. but an ableism uptick is reflected in ''the One Word supposedly accepted#as Rude / perhaps indeed 'truly' ableist'' broken out again huh lol. meanwhile again when Gay was more popular by my time perhaps#like nobody's directed the r word at me but i've gotten Stupid & Idiot within the exact same spirit; plus contempt dismissiveness vitriol#months ago partly read an article (itself ableist) w/a quote ft medical terminology of calling someone a ''moron''....felt startling & Bad
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brainrotzora · 5 months ago
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recent ffxiv livetweeting. spoilers through the end of arr patch quests btw.
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#ffxivposting#suicide mention#I GUESS. SORRY#made this account 90% so i could livepost this game better.#moving off my priv twitter to here bc literally only my irl has access and i know he doesnt gaf. i love u bro<3#and im actually going to die going thru this alone to be honest chat. help#just gave my wol a haircut btw :) working on a new fit also hehehe. she's my favorite.#she doesnt have a name because i put a stupid ass placeholder name because i started playing with my Real Life Family. but shes so cutiepie#keep taking screenshots whenever she looks cute in a cutscene which is often. lovely#btw. im aware t.hancred isnt a gayboy. he's a womanizer. which is kind of a gay thing to be. also stuff did happen to him in arr#and he gets pouty about it sometimes which is funny. rip to this guy. but youknow. lol#like if you think about it it's like man that really blows for you huh? but i cant get a good gauge on how much HE thinks about it. hes too#busy w/ his scorned lovers et cetera. as things go.#where im at now is uh. let me check the msq quest list. somewhere around lvl51 msq. chat i miss flying So Bad i am so slow.#by the way i do know the race names. for the record. that guy is a gay ass Elezen(tm).#also im not trying to bully u.rianger(?spelt like that right?) he's nice. his voice IS funny though.#i have not skipped any of this story. even the parts that sucked total ass and shit. my working knowledge is. Okay.#the patch quests were sooooo rough at the start but at least near the end they started ramping up and i got dragged in.#got to yell at npcs bc they were pissing me off so bad near the end there. quite a fun time.#also starting hw story stuff is really funny when youve been playing drg. like hey! i know you!#also ive been saying his name as 'estinen' the whole time wdym it's 'e.stinien'. i hope he never takes off that helmet btw#anyway. i cannot fucking draw my wol. at all. need to get better refpics later i guess.#speaking of. i am not googling any of these guys to draw them because i dont feel like getting spoiled.#yet another L im taking.my stupid baka life. as they say.#you cant hold anything im saying against me here it's almost midnight. fuck i have class tmrw. what ever#ANYWAY. all that to say. i need to talk to someone abt this shit to be honest.#shrug.
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phagodyke · 8 months ago
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woke up feeling ruffff but took my meds and went back to bed for a while n I feel a bit better
#only slept 4 hrs yesterday so was rly hoping to get a solid nights sleep today bc i probably won't tonight....#but i didnt sigh. but my options are either to plough thru w today and make myself do this even tho i dont rly feel like it#or cancel plans and stay in and mope which will inevitably turn into self harm so rly the latter is a non option lmao#its all okay ill get into the swing of things n have a good time once im thereee#and i always knew i was gonna feel a bit like this like its an open wound for me i just need to be careful not to touch it#bc how i feel isnt based in reality its just insecurity n vulnerability n ik it can take months to fully recover from a previous episode#and part of the recovery process needs to involve facing potentially triggering situations instead of avoiding them#bc otherwise ill get increasingly worse bc its not possible to always avoid and ill be defenceless again when it does happen again etc#like its part of rebuilding my sense of self n confidence n hopefully i can eventually start to trust other ppl again n lower my guard#bc it sucks being contorted into this defensive pose all the time and i would like to allow myself to feel genuine connection w others !!#and to stop instinctively flinching and waiting for the hit im tired of my mind telling me ppl r lying + trying to hurt me when theyre not#im being a bit dramatic like i am doing a LOT better than i was a few weeks ago. n i def can handle this one#and the risk of triggering myself is much much lower anyway in this specific situation. so long as theyre not hiding shit from me again#i can think of several ways that risk could skyrocket n unexpectedly spiral out of my control n it makes it hard to breathe just imagining#but i need to believe that it wont. so if-no WHEN it doesnt then next time ill have proof that i can navigate it n i wont feel so anxious#it makes me laugh how stupid this is from an outside perspective. my brain causes me so much weird n 100% unnecessary distress#but its the only brain ive got n will always have so i need to work with it!!#anyway all that aside i genuinely am rly looking forward to this afternoon!! ive rly wanted to start doing more nice things for myself#n the fact it coincides w missing smth that could incite my rsd is kind of for the best even if it is making me anxious#i cant let my life revolve around anticipating how ppl might upset me n basing my decisions off minimising that damage#n while it would be nice to have company.. well ik its just as fun going alone bc ive done it before! n i need a reminder of that#ah im gonna turn myself in circles if i think much more. i dont need to justify anything#i hope they have a nice time and i hope i have a nice time and i hope that eventually someday we can have a nice time together instead#of separately. and i hope that someday ill feel included and wanted by other ppl and wont be posting on tumblr every time this happens LOL#this comes across like im saying i need to learn how to enjoy my own company or whatever but i prommy i already do..#what i actually need to learn is how to trust n enjoy the company of ppl i care abt without constantly being scared theyll hurt me....#but thats not happening today cuz i got other plans woooo OKAYY im gonna stop ruminating and get some chores done sjdkfh#.vent#<- well not rly a vent bc its not like im channelling feelings here im just rambling bc i have a lot on my mind. but still#this is prolly incoherent i keep putting my phone down and doing other things and then adding another thought LOL
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ningningkittie · 11 months ago
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#also she pisses me off bc she constantly says she's such a good person and an angel and that she has a big heart and cares for everyone#while being the kind of person who literally denies genocide and believes an oppressed group of ppl would 'lie' about it#like ?????? i wouldnt wanna be friends w someone like that anyway bc that made me so appalled#how could u believe that ppl who have suffered greatly being murdered and erased... would LIE abt it???????#idk im trying to not care but it bothers me so much bc we share so many mutuals bd i have to see her stupid url constantly#and yeah sure girlie your heart is so big and u care sm nd you're such a nice person who hates cruelty!!!!#(but at the same time u have no empathy at all for ppl who are being GENOCIDED)#nd also some of her things aimed at me....#im the first to admit that im not perfect nd that i make mistakes nd im self aware nd i know when i fuck up#i know when i deliberately choose to be selfish nd put myself first nd hurt someone else's feelings w it#im aware of everything i do. i will never lie or not acknowledge it#it's her hypocrisy that bothers me. nd that she didnt talk to me abt it. she just discarded me#bcat first it was a misunderstanding. if she woul've talked to me like an adult we couldve sorted it out#nd i would've realized it immediately#but since she decided to hurt me nd throw me away i decided to be selfish nd the misunderstanding turned into a choice on my end#so no im not a nice perfect angel. but u arent either. stop pretending to be so fkn superior when u literally arent at all#im just saying this bc i miss her sm#nd i know she isnt thinking anything other than unpleasant thoughts of me. if she even thinks of me at all#but i still miss her sm
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assumedcryptid · 1 year ago
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maaaannnnn
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kroosluvr · 6 months ago
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temptation
i lowkey have too many notes to write down properly KDFHKDS but ill write them down for Future Cele so i can read it later and be like omggg past cele ur so fun and interesting
in general, the more "color" the scenes have, the closer it is to "real life" as opposed to the muted/hushed winter blues of maruki's reality
i.e. the dark frames w akira smiling and the very last panel are when reality sinks in: first for akira, then for goro
by the way this is long winter au but sumire is still brainwashed. this also works for canonverse but i just had long winter au in mind:o
youve heard of laundry and taxes now get ready for coffee and pastries
in every panel, akira is smiling! :) and goro is very much not smiling.
intentionally his face is hidden in the last 2 pages so its unclear whether it's the "ideal reality" already (akira/goro's daydreams/wants/desires), or if goro is still fighting akira on making sure he picks the right choice
the smoke from the first page kinda leads into the 3rd page omfg COMPLETELY UNINTENTIONAL BUT REALLY COOL LMAOOO
that's nameless and belladonna in jazz jin!!! i love them. I LOVETHEM. i miss them so bad is it obvious
the cafe is loosely based off of caffe strada @ uc berkeley LMAO. my parents used to take me there a lot as a little kid so that's the first cafe i think of when i imagine one. its like right on the streetside, basically on the sidewalk, so its very bustling and people are always walking by... probably a little disconcerting to see everyones summery bright smiles despite the bitter cold and snow
in long winter AU, the Ideal Reality starts before 1/1 so yeah they get to see the new years fireworks together (or something)
also intentional that they wear the same winter outfits in the whole comic although it Probably does not take place at the same time. in maruki's snowglobe, time seems frozen in place... but akira and goro are both acutely aware that the sands are running thru QUICK
goro's frustrated expression on page 3 is one also of disdain: "don't speak FOR me you fucking imbecile" type of expression.
goro, who's never lived a normal life and therefore doesn't know much abt "normalcy" nor really actively seeks it. this 3rd semester is basically purgatory for him and he doesn't care to try and go through the motions the way akira does. akira what do YOU know about the type of "normalcy" i deserve? how do YOU know if i "deserve" that?
im thinking that this is a naive akira who is mostly set on taking the deal because he feels hopeless... seeing all his friends with good happy lives while goro and himself are alive and miserable and shouldering the weight of the world during the horror of long winter......
oh but if he takes the deal they could all be good and alive and happy!!!.... and goro knows this. i feel like in any other universe (i.e. akira is 100% certain on not taking the deal and goro knows this) then goro would be happy and carefree to do these little indulgences for himself and akira's sake, to just enjoy the snowglobe world while it exists.
but this goro is discontent. he sees how akira is enjoying the snowglobe and knows maruki is depending on this. goro has to be the one to remind akira that none of this is his to keep........ in this fucked up world, routine is dangerous. becoming comfortable is dangerous. they cannot keep any of this.
on that note, goro says "i hate you" in a halfhearted sort of way (it's not true and akira knows that.) but he's trying to think of a way that he can dissuade akira from picking the wrong choice.....
and i think the thing is, goro thinks all of this, but he still falls into the rhythm of routine with akira anyway. in a way, goro feels hopeless too.
all of this is maruki's doing........ paralyzed by the inability to choose... whatever you do, you lose. goro needs to hold akira at arm's length so the stupid sentimental fool doesn't get too attached and falls into the wrong universe. akira needs to make a concentrated effort to detach himself from goro even though he wants the simplest thing in the world: just one more unremarkable day with him. it's lose-lose..........,
also i liked drawing the tentacles in the last pic the freaking blue lines on them were SO satisfying to draw
edit: also the last page: the blood flooding the panel….. the idea of the ideal world being built off of the blood and sweat and tears and bodies of the people who could have been. of those lost in the actualization, of those destroyed, of those stitched together and brought back to life. all just for a little false happiness. goro sees it but akira doesn’t, and it’s a grim sight.
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midnightwriter21 · 2 years ago
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demon slayer hcs: motherly hashira!reader x the hashira pt 2
characters: fem!reader x muichiro, sanemi, mitsuri, obanai
AN: this is a pt 2 for the request from @danielle-marie
READ THE FIRST PART HERE
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MUICHIRO
I LOVE THIS BABY SM U DONT UNDERSTAND
he's the hashira that ur most comfortable around
he was a hashira before u
but u get promoted and its an instinct
child.
must protect.
at first he probably gets annoyed by you
he's not used to someone caring for him the way that u do
but then one day ur sent on a long mission
maybe a few weeks long
and he finds himself missing something
of course he has no idea what it is that he's missing something
he completely forgot about u
but when you get back to the butterfly estate and he sees u
it clicks
he remembers
he missed you
he missed your overprotective nature
he missed your soft caring voice
he missed the way that you brush and style his hair
he REALLY missed that ^
walks up to u, grabs ur hand and tugs u away
doesn't care if you were talking to someone
and doesn't say a word
brings you to his favorite cloud watching spot with a tight grip on your hand
makes you sit down
and lays his head in ur lap
stop im squealing and kicking my feet from the cuteness
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SANEMI
my guyyyyyy
have i ever told yall that i love him?
only in every single thing i post
anyways
he HATES you at first
lmfao rip u
your shy and quiet nature reminds him of giyuu
and if theres one person sanemi can't stand
its giyuu
therefore he don't fw u
and doesn't pay u much attention
UNTILLLLL
he witnesses u pulling genya by the ear to the infirmary after a mission
and telling genya tf off for pulling som stupid shit during the mission
+100 respect right there
not only are u actually talking
but ur screaming??
at his brother??
and taking care of him at the same time?????
my guy is lucky if he doesn't pop a boner right there lmfaooo
starts paying more attention to u after that
and is noticeably a lot nicer and calmer around you
will blush beet red and deny tf out of it if the other hashira comment abt his change of heart
but def develops a soft spot for u
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MITSURI
SWEETEST HUMAN BEING TO EVER EXIST EVER
she loves u
ofc she does she's the love hashira
but in mitsuri's mind how could she not absolutely ADORE u
not only are you breathtakingly beautiful in her eyes
but she sees the way u interact with the younger slayers
how u genuinely care for everyone's wellbeing
if she wasn't looking for a husband she would wife u tf UP
she still might lol
mitsuri is gonna go out of her way to become friends with you
she's inviting u to her estate for girl's night with shinobu
she's dragging u along to her favorite restaurant for lunch
she's inviting u to join her at the hot springs to relax
she really enjoys ur presence
even if ur shy she thinks ur very soothing to be around
she loves when you do her hair!!
and when u cook for her??
mitsuri alrdy eats a lot
but if u made the food for her??
girl is not letting a CRUMB go to waste
loves the way u take care of everyone
especially when u take care of her
10/10 would recommend a mitsuri
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OBANAI
someone pls love this man
he needs it so bad
so dude had SHIT parents
like bad bad
so when he sees ur interactions with the younger slayers he's prob a lil put off at first
like ma'am?
this is the demon slayer corps??
we don't have time for all ur mothering and coddling
but then he's injured on a mission
and waiting in the infirmary for shinobu to show up and patch him up
and then u bust through the doors???
confused asf
shinobu is on a mission and you've been helping out in the infirmary
so looks like ur the one taking care of him today
and turns out his injury is bad enough to land him an extended stay in his lil hospital bed
and after a few days of u taking care of him
with ur red face and soft stuttered words
he learns that you're not so bad
and he actually enjoys being around you
and being taken care of
won't voice this tho
but when Aoi comes in to give him his meds one day he gives himself away by accident
with a
"where's y/n?"
he's a blushing grumbling mess after that lol
after he discharged best believe the next time he gets injured he's not even going to the infirmary
he's hunting u tf down
nobody else gets to take care of him except YOU
and thats period.
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