#anyway the food was good but not worth that much >_<< /div>
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Shapeshifter rant [angst and yappery]
The big scary looking form he takes is basically a threat pose. Threat poses are what animals use to fight or scare off danger.
Cats puff out their tails and arch their backs:
It’s something that even kittens can do.
Tarantulas lift up their front legs and bare their fangs:
Octopi make themselves look poisonous and can flash colors to scare predators:
youtube
It makes sense to me that a shapeshifter would have a bigger, distorted version of their base/“true” form as a threat pose. And that babies would instinctively be able to make that form even if they haven’t seen an adult before.
I think Shifty’s base form, the one he reverts into when he’s relaxing or sleeping, is like the form we see, but smaller and more friendly looking. And that it’s as tall as a grown human or just a little bit shorter.
The shapeshifter is afraid of humans; they lied to him, kept him as a test subject, froze him, and then disappeared. He didn’t know if they were going to come back to experiment on him more, or if they would want to “finish the job.”
He tried to dig his way out of the bunker but was stopped by the steel lining. This form is still fast and very durable, which he would want if the humans ever came back.
This form was made to try and break through the lining of the bunker, but that didn’t work. Instead, Shifty took to hitting the lining to make this form stronger and tougher skinned.
He can perfectly replicate Ford and Fiddleford’s voices, but doing so fills him with rage and makes him crash out. For a time, he would purposely get himself riled up to “train” for the scientists to return.
But as decades passed and nobody came to poke, prod, refreeze, or kill him, Shifty felt he’d been left to rot and gave up.
He still doesn’t trust humans, new or not, children or not. And Dipper quickly proved himself to be a fanboy of the scientist that kept the shapeshifter locked away from the sun and sky, froze him, and then never came back.
The second he realized they knew he was a shapeshifter, he went straight to treating them like a threat. For all he knows human children could be just as dangerous as the adults, and he doesn’t want to be destroyed or captured.
Shifty’s not an evil monster, he believes humans are out to get him and wants to do everything he can to stay safe from them.
The reason he lost his temper when he couldn’t find Dipper and the others is because he had no idea what they might be planning, and no idea what they might be capable of.
Being alone in a bunker for 30 years thinking this way would do a number on anybody. He’s not mentally stable or willing to believe that these new people have good intentions. In his mind revealing himself from the start would be opening himself up to get attacked. Better to pretend to be one of them and figure out what they want.
The reason Shifty wanted the journal all those years ago was to find out Stanford’s true intentions for him. Somehow he overheard Fiddleford muttering about freezing him, and he simply had to know if the scientists were really going to do that. Ford freezing him just confirmed all his worst fears.
So why does he still want the journal, anyway? He feels that Stanford saw him as a monster, and when pretending to be Ford, he talks about himself that way. If he “knows” how the scientists really view him, why would it matter if he has the book or not?
It should have the answers on how to get out of the bunker. He hasn’t been able to escape, he can’t access the room with 50 years worth of food, he knows the outside world exists and would surely like to go there.
It’ll give him some closure in the form of seeing how much Ford despised him and decided to leave him to starve to death in the bunker. Dipper says the author has been missing, but Shifty’s spent 30 years stewing over the scientists betraying him. He’s fully in denial about Stanford or Mcgucket potentially being dead, the idea was just presented that day. No, the book will prove he was right all along, the scientists hated him and locked him away.
There are other creatures in Gravity falls that he could mimic, letting him run free in nature without worrying about humans tracking him down. Heck, maybe the humans actually like these other beasts. Maybe the journal will even give him some sort of insight on why humans are so disgusted with him in particular.
Revenge. The humans refused to let him have the book when they pretended to be friendly. Clearly it holds some sort of value and significance to Stanford. Taking the book and keeping it for himself would surely infuriate Ford. And quite frankly, that’s enough in the way of revenge because humans are too dangerous to be attacked.
On a lighter note, I think that the way Shifty was talking was basically like.. when a kid makes their voice deeper and makes fun of how an adult speaks. He is an adult, but mockingly speaking like Ford in his own voice was a good way to trick Dipper without risking getting angry hearing Stanford’s voice.
This is probably the dumbest headcanon of mine; if you could just be a fly on the wall, on a day where there’s no humans in the bunker stressing Shifty out, I think he would sound pretty similar to Luke Skywalker.
Not the exact same, especially with his emotional state, but similar.
#They could never make me hate you Shifty#Free Him! He’s been in the bunker too long.#Headcanon#stupid headcanons#Gravity Falls#gravity falls theory#gravity falls shifty#Youtube#Ford Pines#Dipper Pines#I’m not hating on Ford btw. If anyone has a shot at making things right with Shifty its him.
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alright everyone it's jiangshi time
that's right I'm back for more Chinese mythology in Jentry Chau vs the Underworld and we're talking about possibly my favourite creature from Chinese mythology, the 僵尸 (jiangshi)
(LONG spoilers under cut as per usual)
our resident JCVTU jiangshi is Ed, named for Edward Cullen the most commercially successful dead guy (except like Dracula probably)
(it's a Twilight reference btw) (I'm guessing only gen alpha missed that one)
when gugu's bestiary claimed that jiangshi are among the least threatening residents of Diyu, it wasn't kidding (not even joking or exaggerating its list of weaknesses is the longest section of its Wikipedia page)
jianshi aren't known to be particularly intelligent and are in fact often portrayed as mindless much like zombies, so I'm guessing the reason it was chosen to be the supernatural sidekick character was because of how little a threat a jiangshi poses to the main character
it is worth noting that traditional jiangshi of ancient depiction are known to be substantially more dangerous than their pop culture counterparts, but that's not Ed
anyways, jiangshi are often likened to the western vampire, they don't drink blood, but they do drain the qi of their victims (like Kit), they are undead creatures, they are often depicted as resting in a coffin or other dark place during the day, and they are sometimes known to be capable of flight (however I've never heard of them being able to "shape shift" in any capacity)
I did look into Ed's shape shifted form, and found that the most likely reason for this form is tied to the jianshi origin, jianshi myths are often attributed to the practice of "corpse driving" which was the transportation of the corpses of workers that died far from home back to their village to be buried with their families, the way that the corpses were transported made them appear to be hopping upright, but their is one specific technique that I believe inspired Ed's other form
I found this technique on Wikipedia, and it comes from an oral account of a two man team of corpse drivers, one man would carry the corpse on his back, both the corpse and the man would be draped in a long cloak, decorated with a Chinese mourning or funeral mask on top (though I've never seen a funeral mask as expressive or ornate as Ed's), the second man would travel ahead with a lantern to warn his companion of obstacles, but this doesn't seem relevant to Ed's design
I think this explains the extra tall incredibly flimsy inflatable arm tube man form being due to the design being based off of a corpse on top of another person with a cloak over them (like 3 kids in a trench coat) as well as the mask on top, I'm not sure what else could have inspired this design
moving on from that little side tangent, the common modern appearance of jiangshi (including Ed) is attributed to Hong Kong's jianshi film and literature phase where they just went crazy over them for awhile and put them everywhere
jiangshi appear to be adult men dressed in the clothing of an official of some kind from the Qing dynasty (though I'm not sure if Ed was created from the body of an adult), with pale greyish or sometimes greenish flesh
I mentioned earlier that the jiangshi are one of my favourite creatures in Chinese mythology, and it is purely because I love this design for their appearance, I just think it looks neat
there is another relevant little detail I found online about jiangshi, and that is that in modern media jiangshi are often combined with the idea of the 饿鬼 (egui), kind of pronounced like uh-gooay (that's not a very good pronunciation guide but it was the best I could think of), which literally translates to "hungry ghost"
in the show Ed is often very hungry and is always trying to get food to eat, and I'm guessing this is a reference to the egui part of modern jiangshi depictions, as I've never known them to consume anything other than qi
something I would also like to touch on is a very well known part of the jiangshi identity that is mostly missing from JCVTU, and that is the fact that jiangshi are often referred to as "Chinese hopping vampires/zombies" and that 僵尸 (jiangshi) literally translates to "stiff corpse"
there are two primary reasons a jiangshi would be stiff, and that is either rigor mortis or a fulu Taoist talisman placed on a jiangshi's head like the one shown above on Ed's forehead
due to their stiffness, jiangshi have been known to only be able to move by hopping around since they are unable to move their legs enough to walk or run
going back to the practice of corpse driving, one way that jiangshi are said to be created is by Taoist priests that reanimate the corpses, and use a bell to control the corpses and have them hop their way home, this was supposedly a way for poorer families, that could not afford standard corpse driving rates, to get their loved ones home for burial at a price they could afford
I am not at all disappointed by the exclusion of this design element which, while not being inherent to the traditional jiangshi design, is very often associated with its identity, I actually think it works better for Ed to be able to move around at will, but at least the first episode references this with the fulu paper talisman that traps Ed
another way jiangshi are believed to be created is by leaving a corpse unburied for too long, Ed says his body was thrown in a river, meaning it was never buried, but a jiangshi created by throwing a body in a river specifically does sound familiar to me, I just can't quite say where from, either way if Jentry had waited any longer, gugu's body was very much at risk of becoming another jiangshi which honestly would have been hilarious
the last thing I want to touch on are the jiangshi's many many weaknesses
one mentioned in the show is dropping rice in front of them, coins also work, but in either case the jiangshi would be forced to take a break for a moment to count the coins or rice on the ground
Ed mentions in the Alamo episode that jiangshi can't see you if you hold your breath, and this is true and very silly to me
there are plenty of strategies in Chinese mythology specifically meant for combating any form of undead like roosters and peach tree wood, and these all apply to the jiangshi as well since they are also undead
while there are plenty of other ways to fight a jiangshi, I'm gonna end here for now because this post is getting really long
I love taking any opportunity I can to talk about Chinese mythology because I love it so much, and Jentry Chau has given me an excuse to gush about pretty much all of it
I'd be surprised if anyone made it this far though, these posts get even longer every time, but I enjoy them regardless
anyways, moral of the story is go watch Jentry Chau vs the Underworld if you haven't already, and don't read the Twilight books or watch the films you have been warned
#jentry chau vs the underworld#jentry chau vs the underworld spoilers#jcvtu#jcvtu spoilers#jcvtu ed#jiangshi#chinese mythology#rose rambles
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lmao no it's great, and it's pretty On Point for Tomb shit anyway, one bisexual man's climate mid-life crisis was what kicked it off and it's what sci fi is at it's core, a scrying mirror into possibly dystopias.
I'd argue about the lack of scarcity, at least from what we've seen of the Ninth. Gideon is on gruel and snow leek slop (oh baby girl the salad scene lmao I love her so much, you shove them leafs in. additionally Cam sliddingg over extra food, so even she clocked something was up), which I imagine if you were one of the ageing cloister nuns it would be enough to keep you going (like the old wives tale of "potatoes and butter have all the vitamins you need to survive"), but she's young and not fully grown and being given the same nutrition as the osteoporosis academy. It's hard to gauge if this is an 'indentured' issue, a poverty issue or an ecclesiastical issue though. Or indeed just a control issue from Priam and Pelle. Or is this a penitence thing? Or honestly, is this a 'Harrow, a teenager, is BARELY keeping the shithole together via skelebones and late night cries'?
As for shelter I'd agree in so much as "they live in a pumped in atmosphere, there is a necessity to keep the 'roof' working or they will die" but as far as the barest scraping of human rights go, the Ninth fails on that again. Same issues as above though, are they just nunning, are they cunts and nunning... Traditionalism VS Desperation. I would LOVE to peek into some of the other houses, cause the Fourth seem so disposable even in passing from the teens. And the Seventh.. welllll, that's a whole disability rights thing I shan't dip a toe into here. (Kissing the Eight on the mouth for being the only ones upfront about their messed up little side quest religion)
As for the rest of the Houses I would also say that I think they LACK a lot of the inherent issues because it's a class system, but a.. more feudal view on it? The Houses are cared for by, what is essentially, space church. There's free trade and a basic level of care if you are part of John's intergalactic space cult and those who don't choose to pledge fealty, much in the way of minorities or anyone who came up against any of the various religious crusades, are left to perish (if not exterminated)
(Also the Mithraeum being an ancient plush cathedral of comfort compared to even the good Houses...)
So maybe not DIRECTLY capitalist but something that is intrinsic to the controlling features of it and that rumbling threat of "your worth is in what you do" not that you simply "are". 'Oh you want to have healthcare and security? You have to worship this man covered in biscuit crumbs who would carpet bomb you sooner than remember your name.'
Onto the Sixth.. I agree with alotta that, but I don't know how much is 'wow reality SUCKS anything would be better' lmao. But I think some of the allegories of the Sixth tend to lean towards the aggressive pigeonholing of academia? That of requirements to succeed in any field you’ve shown aptitude in. (I think it's telling that the physicality of cavalierdom wasn't changed in any way until Pal became Master Warden, and only then, because Cam was special to him)
I LOVE that we know nothing about the core of Paul that even PAUL doesn't. I don't even know if _I_ fully agree because we have so little of them, it's speculation stacked on speculation. But there was so much desperation on New Rho, everything seems sodden in grief and I can't believe, even as the best choice, it wasn't skewed by it and agonising.
Would lovelovelove a conversation with them and Pyrrha or Dulci, from the view of a slightly more reliable narrator (BOLD OPTIMISM, I KNOW). Because Nona was a sweet angel for body language but I'm interested in what they say, not necessarily how they say it.
Samee, always willing to as well my dude! I have a severe case of can't-shut-the-fuck-up-itis.
And same, a pleasure! We seem to come at it from different edges of the same circle which gives a gooey expanse to dig into on the middle
I have such a big beef with the way that the TLT fandom talks about Cam and Pal being codependent. I have not seen any word of god quotes that talk about them that way, but it seems to be this widely accepted truth that just doesn't click with my reading of the characters.
Certainly by NtN Pal has a dependent relationship with Cam, as they are sharing a body. There are even some parallels to codependency with how their use of necromancy in Cam's body causes her harm.
What I just don't get about the codependent label is that I don't see Cam and Pal enabling one or the other in destructive behavior. Certainly they partake in risky behavior that Pyrrah criticizes them for, but it seems to be a mutual decision. Cam is just as reckless as Pal is, and possibly moreso.
(And also Pyrrah is a huge projecting hypocrite. Love her tho I may, it's true.)
Pal's quotes about how grand lysis wasn't their inevitable end, but was the best and kindest option left to them complements the discussions we overhear in their recordings. Pal's pursuit of Cam's consent and her enthusiasm in giving it just doesn't match the codependent relationship that fans keep referencing.
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Ah yes, food delivery, where you pay over twice the normal cost of the food so you can get it an hour after your meal break
#my life#not blaming the delivery ppl#they’re SLAMMED I’m sure#but it would be nice if the website didn’t lie to me about what time it would arrive!#I literally ordered it EARLY bc I knew it would be busy#aaugh#anyway the food was good but not worth that much >_<
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Whumptober day 6: conditioning/mind control/forced to hurt someone else (full under the cut)
Find the royal ay masterpost here
No version of Neil/Nathaniel is easy to break - there’s a lot of persuasion involved in Evermore Kingdom’s quest for their next butcher to do his work without a fight.
(Or POV you’re realizing the young butcher is just as scary as you’ve heard but for vastly different reasons than the rumors imply)
#not much to comment on this one. oh god except#the one time there’s a good person that the Moriyamas decided they don’t like#(think like shop owners getting in trouble/shut down for giving food to homeless people in this beautiful USofA)#(on a larger magnitude I guess. or not who knows what the Moriyamas decide is worth the punishment)#and this poor person is trying to tell Abram just get it over with#do what they’re telling you to do#I’m not worth getting hurt for#(because they see that Abram’s as unhappy to be there are they are obviously)#and it makes Abram only MORE resistant#TT#that probably didnt end well#anyway#fan art#my art#aftg#all for the game#neil josten#whumptober#emry whumptober 2023#royal au#tw knives#tw blood
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that period of time between south park post covid being announced in 2021 to summer 2022 when everyone got obsessed with truffula flu was moderately heavenly
#i'm going through all my chronological memory hoarding playlists from late 2013 to now#taken all day but i'm currently on around june 2022 and it's so nostalgic#but like that entire time was unreal#never forget south park post covid announcement literally curing me of like 2 years worth of on and off depression#i was like still weakly crawling out of the abyss and then adult scientist philanthropist kenny jsut yanked me out of there so easily#no warning#and then i was fine. it was so funny to me like i was in the middle of my eateot induced existential crisis where i couldn't sleep and then#everything was just normal? literally whatever episode of my life i was in had ended and everything reset for the next episode#which was such a good episode as well. and then the tflu era??#reading every existing camp entre blog within a month#and then the swag and bitter archives. literally the summer of all time#not just for that i mean it was just a good summer anyway#the only logical direction for life to go in after that was down bc i'd literally peaked for about 8 months#but it was a good time while it lasted#this was meant to be a happy ''remember the good times'' post but how come i'm only allowed to be happy for like a year at most#but i'm allowed to be in the abyss for 2 years#hopefully not longer bc i'm only now just getting over the cursed half of 2022 that doesn't exist to me (sep-dec)#but like. 2015 and first part of 2016 good. 2016-2018 bad#end of 2018 and most of 2019 good. end of 2019-summer 2021 bad#end of 2021-summer 2022 good. end of 2022-now bad#the maths does not add up#anyway shoutout november 2021-july 2022 i love you soooooooo much you were so sexy <3#(apart from the agoraphobia but that was part of the fun)#(like i'd be out in public and i'd see a pic of entre on my phone and i guess too much serotonin would be released in my brain and i'd get#anxiety and have to go home and i couldn't eat in public and i basically couldn't leave the house)#(because i was too obsessed with tflu)#(that wasn't the main reason it was mostly a wild fear of food poisoning from anything. but tflu didn't help and that is so cool of it)#(truly an iconic time. okay stop talking)#ramble
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It's amazing how quickly you can make someone turn on your company by making a stupid and insulting move
Force me to go through the front door and scan my card when I have backdoor business that never needed a card before (what? ...I was going to somehow... sneak in and... purchase things with a borrowed card? ...which I totally can't do from the front door after scanning it?)
Or like... twitterify your layout right after your users give you a bunch of money just cause they like you, and then refuse to walk it back
...or all the other things companies do that just kinda piss people off and then they refuse to acknowledge maybe it sucks and is stupid cause "hey, the customers didn't leave"... yeah... yet
#legit; as small as it is it gives me a hint at the direction things will head and that costco will get more and more anti consumer#and I'm in minutes going from an 'I love costco; it's how I afford to eat; go get a cheap pizza'#to 'you know costco is kinda frustrating and annoying and I don't trust their ceo... I'm not sure if it's worth your time and money'#like look back and; tumblr search willing; you'll find posts of me singing costco's praises; literal free advertising#cause while it's not right for everyone; man is it so much cheaper than places like walmart#but... I legit don't know if I can recommend it anymore#for one thing; when I signed up I just spotted the members desk; walked in the backdoor up to the desk; and gave them money#now... what? you gotta ask permission? I feel like there's a chilling effect on wanting to join... at least for my socially anxious ass#and again; I just whiff this as like when games companies add DRM that breaks the game... for people who actually pay for it#they're making me suffer a pain in the ass for no reason cause someone might not be giving them money#and now that person never will give them money... and frankly... if they don't pay the membership but spend $500 how much did you lose?#but like I said; I feel it in the air; that costco will start doing more and more anti consumer stuff#...do I think it's a good idea to join up when they're gonna slowly start turning this corner?#I mentioned that quote by the founder about killing them if they raise the price of the hotdog#but... the fact the founder felt the need to say that to begin with told me something#kinda gotten the impression that the ceo is greedy as hell and wants to drain the consumer (so... a normal ceo)#and this just smacks of netflix/disney#oh... did you hear about disney killing someone with a food allergy despite being told about it multiple times like when the dish arrived?#and now disney is trying to forced arbitrate cause they had a disney+ trial in 2019#you hear about that one? cause that's a real news story; I'll find you an article if you don't believe it#anyway; this smacks of cracking down on password sharing to make up for hypothetical lost revenue#and let me tell you... if I could switch to pirating my groceries I would; I would download eggs#so this doesn't change costco fundamentally; but it does make it feel more hostile and like it doesn't trust me#it makes things feel more adversarial instead of like a partnership where they get me good prices on good things and I give money#and I just wouldn't be surprised if they start doing more things I don't like#things that make things worse... things like raising prices to increase their profit#...makes me want to... work on figuring out how to make everything myself since no company is trustworthy#they'll all turn on you in the end; the moment the wrong person takes charge they'll start to metastasis#towards the cancer of infinite profits#not saying don't go to costco... I'm saying don't get attached if you do; I think they're ready to do what every company does these days
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do u all maybe perhaps possibly have game recommendations 🤨🧐
#^^^^ said in the tone of 'u got any games on ur phone'#i am not very good at games tbh but i've got the spirit if that gives u any clues to the level of difficulty i can handle.#also i am already playing a couple of games but i'd like to play more but don't know which games are worth the money or not so.. recs pls 🤲#OH the games that i'm playing rn are life is strange and stray <33 and then i'm also playing uncharted with all of my siblings except the#youngest & playing detroit: become human with just the three older siblings & playing it takes two with all six of my siblings + i've played#and finished disco elysium and the quarry if that gives u anything to go off of regarding what games i like/have liked.#i also have life is strange 2 downloaded for when i've finished pt 1 and zelda is available if i want to play on my oldest sibling's#nintendo he also has hollow knight on his account (which i use also) and my younger sister has the sims so if i want to play that i could#also but i don't rlly think i'd enjoy it very much i'm more into mystery and action and puzzles and those story focused games with dialogue#options and choices that matter. so. anyway.. any gamers out there who have recommendations pls do give me those recommendations#i don't mind horror games also! as long as it's not like. evil spirits/ghosts bc for some reason those do kind of get me. i literally#stopped watching yellowjackets in the evening bc i kept getting nightmares abt 1) all the creepyness and the spirit/man with no eyes stuff ) just that whole situation in general; plane crash into the wilderness wolves roaming around at night running out of food etc etc.#but mostly i don't mind horror nor blood and guts and gore so if the game u would rec is horror that'd be fine <3
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If I had more money than I'd ever spend in a lifetime, I'd spend my life operating a pizzeria at a loss. Something with the slogan of "it ain't italian but you're hungry" - and a statement of how this is not authentic italian pizza because the owner's estranged aunt's italian ex-husband would not serve pizza in his italian restaurant because as far as he was concerned, a pizza is the "just throw that shit together" dish that you make out of leftovers, and he would not serve that to paying customers even if they wanted it. True story btw.
But I'd just like to run a place where the staff is allowed to tell rude customers to fuck off. And if they're scared to do that, they can summon me downstairs to do it myself (this fantasy involves having my own apartment upstairs of the restaurant), because you don't fucking disrespect my staff like that. Develop a reputation as a place where You'd Better Act Yourself or you get nothing, which elevates the quality of the food in peoples' minds because it's human to assume that more work=more worth, and if a pizza place can afford to simply throw rude customers out, that clearly must mean that the food is just that good that going back is worth it anyway.
Hiring enough people to get the work done in a leisurely pace and occasionally have the time to chat with each other or customers. You just do the job I gave you in the time I gave you, don't steal anything and don't watch porn off your phone anywhere where the customers can see you, you're good. Don't care if you quit school at 16 if you can still mop floor. Don't care if you've been to prison because you killed some guy, as long as you're not doing that here. Don't care if you deal drugs on your free time as long as you don't bring your business to your day job. This place is exclusively for pizza business.
Have an item on the menu called "random pizza" - and if you order that one, they'll just throw in a mix of whatever ingredients we've got too much of, like if the bell peppers gotta be used before they go bad, every single random pizza is going to have them until they're either gone or need to get tossed. If you've got dietary restrictions or allergies, you gotta specify that while ordering, because other than that, random pizza is just whatever ingredients we need to get rid of. Surplus ingredients du jour.
Building a reputation as a place that's somehow simultaneously sketchy as hell but also remarkably high quality, getting five star restaurant customer service from a waiter with blue hair and stick-n-poke tattoos, there's a homeless guy at the back of the kitchen eating an order that nobody picked up, every surface is spotless and no matter how important of a suit-and-tie you are, if you won't behave yourself the owner will personally physically fight you.
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Friendly reminder to everyone to always fact check your work. Even when it seems like it's right.
Case in point: I'm making a short little post about Gambian pouched rats(!). Funnily enough, they're named not for pouches in which they carry their young, but for their cheek pouches. Apparently most other rats don't have cheek pouches like hamsters and gerbils do. Neat.
Anyway, some of the literature I was reading said that Gambian pouched rats can carry a lot of food in their mouths. Makes sense-- they're big rats. But how much food exactly? I started looking. More sources agreed that, yeah, Gambian pouched rats can carry a lot of food! Maybe even up to 3kg over the course of 2 hours! That seems like a lot, especially considering Gambian pouched rats only weigh 1.0-1.5 kg. So I do a little more digging. Every source agrees that they can carry a lot, and they all cite that very specific number of 3kg over 2 hours.
Finally, I track down an actual paper about Gambian pouched rat cheek morphology (yes I went down a wormhole. This is my HBomberGuy moment.) The paper cites 2 sources for that 3 kg/2 hr number! Great! I find those two papers, and read them. And.
Neither paper says that. In fact, they don't really talk about Gambian pouched rat feeding habits at all. One is just an observation on natural behaviors, with a brief section on their diet but no information on how much they carry. The second paper-- written by the same guy-- was about how Gambian pouched rat behaviour changes in captivity. There was a good-sized section on cannibalism, but nothing on transporting food. So that first paper, the one that cited those other two for that 3 kg/2 hr figure, just straight up lied.
Moral of the story: always do your homework kids, especially when it sounds too good to be true. Also, Gambian pouched rats can probably carry quite a lot of food in their mouths, but whether they really can carry up to 3 kg worth of food in 2 hours remains to be seen.
#jack speaks#not an animal#not fauna#sorry not sorry for the psa#behind the scenes#srsly the amount of work i put into some of these posts is ridiculous
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my toxic trait cycle is kinda not liking being fat, getting into a good workout routine and holding it for a few months, gaining a ton of muscle and losing little weight overall bc i love food and live in urban areas with amazing diversity, then stopping the exercise routine cuz IDEK, and beinmg like whaaaahhhh where r my moose-kles??? gaining a ton of weight and starting all over
#LISTEN ive kinda come to terms that i like food too much to be below 165 BUT whyyyyy TT#i deticate SOOOO mcuh time to working out#my weight kinda bounces between 155 and 190 cuz. IM TERRIBLE AT STICKING TO ROUTINE#im REALLY deticating myself to this one tho#i stated doing 5 miles a day#which usually meains about 3.5 miles of running#and my mile time imrpoeves SLOWLY BUT SURLY#and my meal plan is amazing and expensive so i dont wanna limit too much cuz that'd be an EXPENSIEV waste#which means even though i workout an hour a day for over a month my weights been at 180 (maintaining)#BUT ik that means ive put on a LOT of muscles and my lungs feel much stronger#and i can hold pace for much longer#plus i get to explore the neiborhoods during runs#and take care of calls and busieness during them#anyways enjoy my rant#today i was GOOD i had two salads two chicky soup#a burrito#you see my PROBLEM is that i am surrounded by aMANY delicious options cONSTANTLY#I WOndeR Why aMERiCa hAs aN OBesiTY PRobleM#its cus our food is delicious and calorie laden and everywhare#worth it in my opinion#i just have to focus on eating more protein in my salads and soups and smoothies so im full longer#ok lol im done now bye
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Sevika's Acts of Service…
𖢅 ------ 𖢅
𖢅 ------ 𖢅
Visibly offended whenever you try and lift anything heavier than five pounds and don't immediately ask her to do it
Let her do it
Please
Actually, you don't even get a choice she's already taking it out of your hands and walking away
If you wear glasses and the lenses are getting all gross, she notices like immediately. Will mutter something like, "The hell's the point of you even wearing them?" As she plucks them off your face to wipe them with the cloth thingy hanging off her waistline.
She puts on a whole show of being annoyed with having to do this, but you know from the first time she does it how much she adores this little act of service
Could, would, has killed someone for you. Deep down, she knows even Silco isn't safe if you will it so. She doesn't like this part of her.
Doesn't fuss when you're sick, but absolutely fusses when you're injured.
She dips into your home in the middle of her work day just to change your bandages/make sure you've eaten
"If you move from this bed today, I'll kick your ass." "What, like the guy who put me here?" "I- that is not funny-" "You started it!"
After nights where she wins pretty well at cards (which is most nights she plays cards), she always stops to get you something to eat from one of the better food spots in Zaun
She always asks "What can I do" before "Are you okay". If she can do something to help, then she can guarantee you'll be okay, in her mind.
If you ever say, "Baby, I need you to do something," in a sweet voice, she is on her feet and at attention, yes ma'am.
No but really, she'll drop whatever she's doing and be very visibly fighting against the urge to whip around and ask you what you need. She'll give you a soft "Hm?" as she meets your eyes as a compromise
She likes bringing you coffee in bed. She's always up before you to have her morning smoke anyway, don't make a big deal out of it, and stop making those dopey eyes-
She actually really likes serving you food/drinks in general. It makes her feel like she can provide something for you, take care of you. Always mutters a prideful little, "here, sweetheart," as she does.
If she says she's going to do something, then she will. No if's or but's. This doesn't even just apply to you, it's just how she lives her life
This does not, however, apply to any introspective ventures you may ask of her… those are a lot scarier than any physical task you could ask her to do
It will probably take a near-break up, if not a whole break, for her to realize that it's worth it for you.
You're the last good thing she has. She'll fight for you like she's fought for everything else in her life. The embodiment of "For you, I will". You sit right next to a freed Zaun in her heart.
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Forbidden Fruit.
That’s the thing about Declan - he always gets what he wants. It might be wrong… but it feels so right.
declan o’hara x female reader
warnings - smut. cursing. use of the c word. age gap. cheating. declan’s filthy mouth needs its own warning.
word count - 2.3k
authors note - that man is a munch and I cannot be convinced otherwise. my crush on aidan turner has returned tenfold and i’m about to make it everyone’s problem. read declan’s dialogue in that gorgeous irish accent of his for the full experience.
masterlist. inbox.
You’ve fake laughed so much this afternoon that you can’t remember what your real one sounds like.
Finally breaking away from a conversation with Freddie’s wife, you swan across the garden in your sundress towards the food and drink table. You absentmindedly pick at the strawberries, hoping and praying that no one bothers you for a moment. All you need is a minute to yourself, away from all of these faux smiles and boastful exchanges.
Reaching towards a raspberry, you feel fingertips ghosting across your back quickly.
“Y’alright?”
You’d recognise that voice anywhere, of course, and not just because he’s the only Irish man in The Cotswolds.
“Bored out of my mind, actually.”
“You’d never know.”
“I’m a good actress, these days. I’ve done one too many of these stupid garden parties.”
He chuckles all genuine and honeyed, and you’d be lying if you said the sound didn’t settle warmly in your bones.
“Whatcha doing tonight?”
He’s keeping his voice low, inconspicuous. You’ve both turned so you’re looking out over the garden, backs to the table, watching the crowds of people and their gossiping. To anyone else, it looks like an innocent conversation between two acquaintances. They can’t see his hand playing with the hem of your dress behind you, or the way his fingers keep brushing the backs of your thighs, sending shivers down your spine.
“My boyfriend is coming over. You know that.”
“What time?”
You roll your eyes but answer anyway.
“Nine.”
“So what I’m hearing… is that you’re available from whenever this crap finishes until then?”
“That’s a stupid idea.”
“You usually love my stupid ideas.”
“Well maybe I’m trying to be smarter.”
He laughs with his full chest while you fight to keep the grin off your face, shaking your head.
“You’re already the smartest person here. Any smarter and we’re all doomed.”
“Flattery will get you nowhere, Declan.”
He pauses for a moment, pressing his side into yours and running his thumb across the soft skin of your thigh underneath your dress.
“I think we both know that’s not true, sweetheart.”
Your breath stutters as you will yourself to get it together, desperate to not repeatedly give in to his murmured promises and flirty remarks. It’s wrong. You know it is, both of you do, and yet…
“I want you gone by eight at the latest. I don’t need the two of you bumping into each other on my front step.”
He smirks like the cat that got the cream, looking down at you with lust drunk eyes.
“Good girl,” he whispers. “Promise to make it worth your while, yeah?”
“You always do,” you breathe out, so quietly that you’re surprised he hears.
He’s about to reply when you’re both startled by Rupert, striding over with the confidence of ten men and a bottle of champagne in his hand.
“Have they run out of glasses, CB?”
He slings an arm around your shoulder, laughing that rich man’s laugh right into your ear.
“Live a little, darling. Walk with me, will you? I have a story that might be worth your time, and I thought I’d bring it to my favourite journalist before anyone else.”
Rupert all but drags you across the garden, already chattering on about a scandal in the local constituency of the Conservative Party. You cast your eyes back to where Declan hasn’t moved, his gaze roving over your figure as you walk away.
He winks cheekily, dirty smirk slapped across his face.
You hate the way it sends electricity running through your veins in anticipation.
✵ ✵ · ✵ * · ✵
It’s six forty five when there’s a knock on your door.
The devil himself is standing on your front step, leaning against the wall with his arms crossed over his broad chest.
“Hi darlin’.”
His accent is like molten honey, golden and warm and laced with sweetness. There’s mischief running through it though - as there always is.
“Come on,” you urge, grabbing his tie and pulling him inside, worried that one of your neighbours will see.
He laughs as he shuts the door behind him, unphased by your urgency.
“Thought you had a meeting. CB was telling me all about it earlier.”
“Rupert would tell you anything,” he chuckles. “He’s got a soft spot for pretty girls.”
“Sounds like someone else I know,” you giggle, undoing his tie from around his neck and hanging it on your coat rack.
“No. I have a soft spot for one pretty girl.”
“Sweet talker,” you tease as you roll your eyes, undoing the first few buttons on his shirt. “How about you put your money where your mouth is, hmm? We don’t have all night.”
He clicks his tongue, hands finding your hips to pull you against him.
“Patience, sweetheart,” he murmurs, leaning in so his lips brush yours. “Good things come to those who wait.”
“Less talking,” you scold, grabbing at his biceps to kiss him desperately.
Declan pushes you up against the wall, hips pressing into yours as he slips his tongue into your mouth. He tastes like cigarettes and whiskey and those mints he keeps in a tin in his back pocket. He scatters open mouthed kisses across your neck, licking across your skin and sucking the spot underneath your ear.
“I’ve been thinking about you all day,” he mumbles. “Ever since I saw you in this dress.”
“You like it?” you breathe, head rolling to the side to give him more access.
“I fucking love it.”
“Good. Bought it for you.”
He groans, grinding his hips into yours.
“You’re a minx,” he pants, biting at your shoulder. “You know exactly what you’re doing.”
With that, Declan wraps his arms around your middle, practically dragging you into the living room to throw you onto the sofa. He pulls your dress over your head, throwing it onto the floor with reckless abandon.
He instantly gets on his knees in front of you, spreading your legs with rough hands.
“Been waitin’ for this cunt all fuckin’ day.”
Your underwear is tugged down and discarded before you can blink, leaving you naked and high on the anticipation of it all. Your lungs are heaving, hands shaking as you will him to do something.
Declan sits back on his haunches, making a show of rolling up his sleeves. He looks so broad and commanding in his blue jeans with his shirt undone. He might be the one on his knees, but he’s definitely still in charge here.
You tangle your fingers into his dark hair and tug, pulling him closer.
“Please, Dec.”
“You sound so beautiful when ya beg.”
He grips your thighs tightly, ensuring they stay apart, as he leans in and presses kisses to any skin he can find.
“Don’t tease.”
“Or what, hmm? What are ya gonna do, sweetheart?”
“Stop it,” you chastise, head dropping back onto the cushions. “Please, baby.”
He chuckles before diving forwards, licking a stripe through your core. He wastes no time, tongue flicking over your clit like he’s done so many times before.
“Yeah,” you breathe out, fingers gripping his hair tightly. “Fuck, Declan.”
You’re convinced he enjoys this just as much as you do. He’ll eat you out for hours, never once expecting something in return - happy to feel you fall apart on his tongue again and again and again.
He knows exactly which spots will have you arching your back, how much pressure to use to have you writhing on the sofa cushions, where to put his hands to push you right over the edge. He can play you like a fiddle, observant and experienced.
His nose nudges your clit as he fucks you with his tongue, messy and wet and completely committed. The grip he has on your thighs is getting tighter and tighter, fingertips bruising your skin. You pray you’ll be able to see the marks when you look in the mirror tomorrow.
You’re teetering on the edge of your release, legs shaking and abdomen tightening. Declan can read you like a book, knowing exactly where you’re at - and taking advantage of it.
Just as you’re about to come, he pulls away and sits back, grinning like a deviant.
“No,” you’re panting. “The fuck are you doing?”
He laughs, leaning down to rest his head on your leg. He looks up at you with a gaze that’s half lust and half mischief, biting at his lip as he watches your chest heave.
“What do you want, darlin’?”
You pout at him, tears welling in your eyes.
“Come on, let me hear you say it. I want you to beg me to make you come. Tell me how you’ve been waiting for it all day, sweetheart.”
“I-Declan, I just-”
“Come on smart girl, use that big brain of yours. Why don’t you tell me all about how you think about me when you touch yourself? No - why don’t you tell me how you think about me while he fucks you?”
Your hips buck up into the air, desperate for any kind of friction. Declan laughs cruelly, wrapping his arms around your thighs again to pull you to the edge of the sofa, the strength he exerts only turning you on more.
“It’s okay,” he soothes against your core. “You don’t have to tell me. Your dripping wet cunt tells me everything I need to know, darlin.”
All you can do is moan, breathing like you’ve run a marathon. All you can see, all you can hear, all you can feel is Declan O’Hara.
“If we had the time, I’d edge you some more. Eat you out until you cried. You always look so pretty when you’re crying f’me.”
He finally takes pity on you, curling his tongue inside you as his nose repeatedly bumps against your clit. He’s practically making out with your core, saliva dripping down your thighs and onto the sofa. You can’t bring yourself to care about the mess, more focused on the older man’s mouth and the skills it possesses.
You’re whining, fingernails digging into his scalp as you grasp for something to hold onto. He’s groaning too, having just as much as fun as you are.
“Come for me, pretty girl. Show me how fucking beautiful you look.”
Your back bows off the sofa as you grind against his face, riding out your climax. Your thighs tighten around his head, desperate for him to keep going for as long as possible.
“That’s it. Atta girl. There we go.”
You’re trying to catch your breath as Declan stands up, sitting down next to you and pulling you into his side. His fingers draw patterns on your hips, absentmindedly calming you down as you nestle into him, seeking out his body heat.
You lean up and kiss him, slipping your tongue into his mouth eagerly. He tastes like you, and the realisation makes you whinge.
“Let me return the favour, please,” you whisper against his lips.
“As much as I’d love that, darlin’… we can’t.”
You quirk a brow at him in confusion, his rejection more than unusual.
“It’s twenty past eight.”
“Oh, shit,” you groan, finding your underwear and pulling them up your legs.
“I wish I could stay,” he reassures as he kisses you again sweetly. “You know I do.”
You nod, running your fingers through his sweat soaked locks to move them out of his face.
“Promise I’ll repay you next time.”
“I’ll hold ya to that.”
The phone ringing startles you both, your heart jumping in your chest. You pick it up quickly, wrapping the cord around your finger.
“Hello? How are you? Ah, good. Yes, fine. Alright, I’ll see you then. Yes, see you soon. Mhmm… I can’t wait either.”
You put it down just as quickly as you picked it up, finding your dress from the floor and pulling it over your head.
“That was Patrick. He’s at the train station, about to start the drive back here. He won’t be long.”
“I best get going then,” Declan says as he buttons up his shirt. “Don’t need a family reunion in your living room now, do we?”
You shake your head, scoffing at his attempt at a joke. Walking him to the front door, you press his tie from the coat rack into his hand so he doesn’t forget it.
“I’ll see you tomorrow, won’t I? You’re coming for lunch at the house?”
“Wouldn’t miss it,” you say as you lean up to kiss him, sighing at the taste of his lips. “I’ll wear that lacy white lingerie under my dress just for you.”
“Great,” he groans. “Now I have to think about my son seeing that on you when it should be me.”
“You might,” you tease, smoothing out his shirt. “There’s a lot of rooms in that house, Declan.”
“You’re a minx.”
He kisses you once more, big hands cradling your face as he pulls you in.
“See ya tomorrow, sweetheart.”
“Yes, you will.”
You watch him go from your front step, making sure no one sees him leave. As soon as he’s out of sight, you’re shutting the door, trying to tidy the living room frantically. You open the windows, lighting a candle and picking up everything that was knocked to the floor in the lust filled frenzy. You’re covering your tracks as best you can, just like you’ve done countless times before.
You don’t need Patrick asking why the room smells like his dad’s aftershave.
You don’t need Patrick asking questions at all.
a little gift for you, as promised…
@do-it-for-kicks @whytheylosttheirminds @laverna-fanfictions @graceflorence
and of course, if you enjoyed this - throw me a little reblog if you so wish… help a girl out… <3
#declan o’hara#declan o’hara x reader#declan o’hara smut#declan o’hara x reader smut#declan o’hara imagine#rivals smut#rivals x reader#rivals x reader smut#declan o’hara x you#declan o’hara x female reader#rivals fanfiction#rivals fic#rivals imagine#rivals 2024#aidan turner#rupert campbell black#rupert campbell black x reader#rupert campbell black imagine#rivals disney+#rivals
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tags: step-brother!park jongseong x fem!reader, d/s dynamics, dom!jay x sub!reader, manipulation lowkey?, implied male masturbation, kissing, oral sex (f. receiving), dirty talk, use of nicknames (baby, princess, jjongie, etc), degradation (slut, whore, etc), spit kink, begging, daddy kink, unprotected sex (plz don’t), breeding kink, choking, praise kink, creampie, fluff and uncertainty at the end, etc
wc: 4.12k
add. notes: ok i know i said i would Not upload soon much less written work either but guess who lied!!! no but fr my mood was pretty terrible yst morning bcs of some stupid classmates not contributing to group work but u know what i had food n ice cream w my friend n i felt a bit better at the least. it still doesn’t excuse their actions but ya anyways bcs of my peace of mind n bcs i finished my part for my presentation, i present to u a Very long stepbro jay fic hehe.. some parts or sentences may look familiar but that's cus i acc sent them to a blog here as anon messages LMFAO but yea i hope u guys enjoy :3 icon creds to @/purinkiss btw!
. . .
ever since your parents’ divorce, your entire world shattered. it only got worse when your dad announced he’d be bringing home a new woman, much less one who had a child the same age as you. of course, you disagreed at first, throwing harsh words at him up until the point he forced you to meet the delinquent, dragging you by the arm to the restaurant where you were to have dinner with whoever these random people who were about to become part of your small family circle were. you’d even made a firm promise to yourself to not entertain them and to be petty, whether that translated through snide remarks or rolling your eyes, and you swear you really were going to go through with it—
that is, until you met jay.
jay was nothing like you’d imagined him to be. in your head, your new, soon-to-be stepbrother was an ugly, rude and snobby brat who didn’t give two cents about joining your family, the jay you met in reality though? everything but that. he was sweet, and polite, and absolutely fucking gorgeous; blonde hair swept back with a strand falling over his forehead, lean shoulders outlined in the tight fitting black shirt he’d decided to wear for the occasion, and a smile worth a thousand bucks or even dying for. any words that were previously on the tip of your tongue died down when he took your hand in his to shake it, the soft feel of his skin and his bright grin making your insides positively melt and the thoughts of your parents split dissipate within seconds.
your stepbrother’s attitude and good looks carried through the months you spent with him too. if anything, it became even more reinforced with him taking care of you whenever you needed him. he’d handle sharp objects for you while making your favourite food, hold your hand on the street if you had to cross the road, carry your bags when they got too heavy, rush in front of the door to open it for you, and so, so much more. you were at a privilege to be able to watch him walk around with nothing but a simple shirt and sweatpants around the house too, shamelessly raking your eyes over his attractive features and boring them into his back when he leaned over the stovetop to cook you ramen.
part of you felt like a perv, for behaving this way and finding him good looking even if he objectively was. you knew it wasn’t like you could help it, you had eyes and they obviously saw what was in front of you, but you tried shoving it down anyways. it also didn’t help that jay constantly hovered around you and made your relationship out to be so.. domestic. he’d narrow his eyes when he caught you talking on the phone to your friends about your latest hook-up, lecturing you on the use of safe sex and how college boys were no good for you until you were red in the face with embarrassment, or he’d offer for the both of you to hang out together after classes ended for you every other day, draping a blanket over your figures and scooching in close to you up until you could feel his body heat radiating off of him. your dad and his new wife thought nothing of it despite your mind spinning, cooing over how well you two got along and relishing in the fact that their children were such good siblings already.
oh, if only they were aware of the twisted fantasies swirling in jongseong’s mind.
because from the minute jay saw you, he knew he had to have you. your pretty face, your soft-spoken voice, and of course, your fucking body. he felt like he was about to lose his damn mind when he first saw you walk around the house in nothing but skimpy shorts and that stupid pink top that left nothing up to the imagination. to an extent, it almost felt like you were teasing him on purpose, especially when he’d find you seated on the couch with your exposed thighs and the subtle dip of your cleavage peeking through the measly clothes that practically coaxed him to sport a hard-on right then and there. it’d be the dead of night when he’d finally find some relief after a day of watching you parade around the kitchen, wondering what it would feel like to grip your hair in a makeshift ponytail and pull your nose flush to his pelvis with him nestled deep inside your throat. and it was only when jongseong came all over his hand and sheets for the nth time after fantasising about you that he realised he needed to do something about this, whether that went against his moral compass or not.
it started with light touches.
jay would grasp your shoulder to move past you when you were in the way, barely mumbling an ‘excuse me’ to alert you of his presence so you wouldn’t practically jump out of your skin when he did so. his hand would linger in yours for a second too long when he tried not losing you in crowds, gently commanding you to stay close to him in that stern tone of his that made your panties stick to you. it was common etiquette, you thought, he was just doing his job as a brother would normally do for his sister, but the only thing in jongseong’s mind was to make you let down your guard, let it down so much that he could swoop in at the perfect time to take advantage of it. he knew it was wrong, so sinister and dark to want to fuck his own stepsister to the point the only way he could get it up was to the thought of you, but jay didn’t care about any of that at this point, far too fucked out in his own head to think of having eyes for anyone but you.
and as expected, all throughout this, you didn’t suspect a thing. how could you? jay was so perfect, so well-mannered and so attentive. he listened to you rant about anything trivial in your life and drove you around when you wanted to meet up with your girls. he’d wake up late at night if you had a bad dream, consoling you even through the sight of your tears making him worked up, and rub your back softly when you needed to be taken care of. he’d let you sneak back in the house after you’d told your dad you were going out to the library to study, making up excuses for you when your lies fell short. he had your back, and in turn, you had his, so you would’ve never thought of him as anything but a gentleman and big brother.
until everything he did grew into more.
until having an arm behind your carseat while looking into the rearview mirror turned into placing his hand on your thigh, inches away from the seam of your skirt. until sitting next to him while watching a movie with a shared blanket turned into him nuzzling against you under the covered fabric. until having dinner with both your parents present at the dinner table turned into his foot grazing against yours ever so slightly.
until your honey-like voice calling out for him to help you get the glass on the top cabinet turned into full blown moans of you getting eaten out on the living room couch, echoing throughout the empty house because of-fucking-course, your parents were out for the night on a dinner date.
you weren’t even sure how it happened. one minute, you were struggling to reach on your tippy toes, your mouth instinctively moving to utter jay’s name because he was the only one besides you at home who could help out, but the next, he was pressing up against you to the point of grinding himself into your ass, causing you both to inhale sharply. you vaguely recall turning around, ready to ask what your stepbrother was doing when you’d caught sight of his darkened eyes, practically eyeing you like a piece of meat. and by the time anything even registered in your mind, his lips were already on yours, and his hand was dragging you over to the couch in record time.
“j-jay, we shouldn’t be doing this.” you stuttered out, your voice meek and quiet as you tried not to roll your eyes back at the sight of him slurping up your juices. he didn’t respond, instead opting to move his mouth up to focus on your clit, sucking it into the hot cavern and rolling his tongue against it to the point it had you seeing stars. you knew it was wrong, going against so many moral standpoints and rules, but god did it feel so good. you quickly came to understand that the jay who was going down on you currently was nothing like the jay who engages with you in your day to day life. that jay is gentle, well-meaning and answers all your questions despite how dumb they may seem. but this jay? he’s fucking filthy, messy to the point you can tell your juices are dribbling down his chin.
“fuck, you taste so good.” he gasps out when he finally decides to pull away. “thought about this so much when jerking off.” your eyes widen at his crude admittance, and you know you really should be disgusted at it, but something about the idea of jay being alone in the darkness of his room, hand wrapped around himself while saying your name under his breath only makes you wet, even more so than you already are. at the back of your mind, something screams at you to stop, but you’ve already gotten a taste of what your stepbrother can provide you, and you’d be damned if you didn’t stick around to find out more about it.
“this is wrong.” you quietly admit anyways, even if it’s not what you want to say. but jay just hums, leaning down to hover above your figure as his arms cage you in underneath him, doing very little to help the fact of how much smaller you feel below him. his lips ghost the shell of your ear as you shiver at the proximity between you two, and he gently nips at it, leaving you biting your tongue to hold back the noises you long yearn to let out. “i know it is, baby, but doesn’t it feel so fucking good?” jay questions with a low chuckle, pulling away to cock his head to the side. you curse internally at the way the nickname sounds coming from him, a dust of light pink spreading across your cheeks because fuck, how can someone be so alluring at all times?
“don’t you want to feel even better, princess?” jay’s voice draws you out, and you hold back a moan at the way he grinds his clothed bulge against your bare opening, not wanting to give him the satisfaction of knowing he’s slowly convincing you over to the dark side. “don’t you want your big brother to spread this pussy open and fuck it ‘till you’re crying from how good it feels?” you almost nod, trying to resist the urge to buck your hips up to catch the sensation of his lower region against you once more. instead, you choose to turn your face away from his striking gaze staring you down, but jay just grips your jaw and turns you to face him once more, the action only making your insides swirl with delight.
“still, what if your mom and my dad find out?” you mumble, and jay just grins wickedly. he swoops in, dipping his head down to capture your lips in a searing kiss that makes you giddy with joy, sneaking his tongue past the opening of your mouth to lick into it. when he pulls back, there’s a thin line of spit connection you both, prompting you to squirm at the sight to which jay’s chest rumbles with laughter. “you’re so fucking cute, y’know that? been dreaming of having your pretty body underneath me since i met you.” he admits lowly, your wide eyes only spurring him on further. “wanna know what i think?” you slowly nod, unsure of where this is going. jay’s voice drops an octave lower as he leans in close and whispers—
“i think you’re a dirty, little slut who deserves to get fucked by her big brother.”
you can’t help the whimper that escapes you at his words this time, and that’s all the confirmation jay needs to sit up and tear off his shirt, bringing to life all the fantasies you’ve had about his body this entire time. you can’t stop yourself from reaching out a hand to touch him, nails grazing across the ridges of his toned stomach and the dip of his v-line that’s hiding the very thing you’ve been craving under his sweatpants. meanwhile, jay just watches you with lust swirling in his orbs, a small smirk playing at his swollen lips as he takes in the picture of your innocent little face ogling his figure. “you like what you see, don’t you, pretty?” he murmurs, biting his lip at the way you nod in shame. “don’t worry.” jay grunts, standing momentarily to loop his fingers inside the edges of his pants. “you’ll get what you’re craving real soon.” he winks before he’s yanking the only thing separating you both down, exposing himself in all his glory to your awaiting eyes at last.
“goddamnit, it’s pretty.” you think to yourself when your eyes finally settle on your stepbrother’s dick. the tip is an angry shade of red, dribbling with a few beads of precum that your face falls at when jay swipes them away with his thumb as he wraps his large hand around himself. your disappointment is short-lived, however, because he’s back on top of you soon, holding the very same thumb up to your awaiting mouth to taste, to which you eagerly wrap your lips around, the salty flavour of him invading your senses. “good girl.” jongseong commends as you suckle at the tip of his finger, the praise going straight to your core. he pulls his hand away from you after a short while, that same wet thumb snaking its way down to find your clit and pressing against it, which does nothing but rip a noise of satisfaction from you. jay continues to rub at your engorged nub, his gaze fixated on the sight of your pussy as if he’s trying to commit it to memory.
“shit. i can’t wait any more.” he growls after another second, retracting his hand to wrap it around himself instead, pumping once or twice before he’s pressing the head against your awaiting entrance. you watch with bated breath as he rubs against your folds, slicking up with your oozing juices until your patience starts wearing thin. “jay,” you huff after a minute, legs kicking up in frustration as your stepbrother glances at you teasingly. “what do you want, angel? use your big girl words and tell me.” he smiles, almost innocent to the point you even forget the compromising position you’re both in.
“want.. want you.” you admit shyly, averting your eyes to a forgotten corner in the room as jay tsk’s. “look at me when you speak, whore.” he spits out, his entire demeanour changing in an instant. it only makes you leak even more, and you swallow thickly, eyes pleading. “please fuck me, please. wan’ you to do what you said, spreading me open and using me until i cry, please, please, please. jjongie, daddy, please, i—“
you don’t even get the chance to finish because by the time both the nickname and title leave your mouth, jay has long lost his composure, instantly pushing inside you as he attempts to bottom out his large cock. he hisses at the way your warm walls envelop him, and the only thing you can do is cry out at the way you’re being stretched out to your limit, finally having the emptiness inside you satiated with the presence of your stepbrother’s dick. “fuuuck, that’s it, look at this tiny, little hole sucking me in.” jay curses, and you flare red in embarrassment at his nasty words, ignoring the way they only make you gush around him even more.
“i’m going to absolutely ruin you, baby.” is the only thing jay says before he’s pulling out and slamming himself back into you, leaving you to cry out as his mushroom tip instantly hits that one spot deep inside. his thrusts are erratic, filled with a fervour none of the other guys you’ve ever slept with had, and you think the way he’s fucking you now is definitely going to rectify his promise of fucking you until you’re crying, the occasion seeming to be very well on its way of happening.
“fuck, there is no way this is the last time we’re doing this.” jay groans, the noise of skin slapping and your moans echoing throughout the living room as he continues absolutely drilling you. each drag of his cock drives into you with sheer power and raw desire to completely destroy you it seems, and you’re sure nobody is ever going to top it. “gonna use you everywhere, every time i please. you want that too, don’t you? tell me you do, princess. tell me and daddy will fuck you like he means it every single time.” he blurts out. the only way you can respond is through incoherently mumbling and the nodding of your head, far too dazed out already at the way your stepbrother is pounding into you, which only draws a breathy laugh from jay. “seems i’ve fucked you dumb already, huh? cock that good? so good it’s got my baby all dumb?” he taunts. you only whine at his words, drool spilling out from the side of your lips which jay wipes off with a chuckle.
“i’m already close, god.” he sighs, his movements unrelenting and balls tightening with the way they slap against your ass. “want me to cum inside you? for daddy to breed this pussy full? maybe i should do it and make you walk around with my seed lodged deep in your messy cunt.” jay hisses, his hand snaking it ways to your neck as he continues talking. “bet you’d like that ‘cause you’re a filthy fucking bitch. letting your stepbrother fuck your tight cunt as he pleases.” slender fingers wrap around the skin and tighten their grip slightly to restrict your airflow, and that’s all it takes to abruptly push you over the edge, leaving you dropping your mouth open in a silent scream as you cum. jay continues fucking you through your high, making out your small mewls amongst the lewd sounds of his cock shoving into your hole.
“good girl, good fucking girl. did so well for me, came so much all for daddy. you’re so, so good to me, princess. fuck, i love you.” jay blabbers as he lets go of your neck, too lost in chasing his own peak to even realise what he’s just admitted. you don’t catch it fully either in your haze of overstimulation that he continues to fuck you through, but some unconscious part of you mutters it back as best as you can somehow. jay’s heart swells at the way you take him, so small and pliant for him to just use for his own good, and he leans in to smash his lips against yours, drinking in your loud sounds as his movements start to falter with his upcoming release washing over him.
“just a bit more, pretty, just a bit. such a good fucking girl for daddy, letting him use your body, fuck. i’m gonna cum deep inside you, angel. gonna reward you with my cum. you’d like that, wouldn’t you? like me to creampie this precious hole?” jay stammers out, the coil in his stomach close to snapping. he’s not sure how much longer he can keep up his exterior, sweat dripping down his forehead and closed eyes as his tired hips continue ramming his cock into you. he feels you wrap your arms around his neck, cracking his orbs open to find your fucked out face mumbling for his cum, your legs wrapping against his waist to keep him locked into you.
“cum in me, daddy, please cum in me. wan’ your cum, i’ll take it like a good girl. please, daddy.” you babble, and that’s all it takes to send jay over the edge too, loud groans leaving his mouth as he shoots thick ropes of white inside your walls, painting them with his release. he cums for what feels like forever, holding your body close to his as his cock throbs inside your spasming cunt that’s still greedily sucking him in, urging him to fill you up. he finally stops after seemingly a good minute, panting against your neck where he’s buried his face into as he lets the post-orgasm bliss wash over himself.
“fuck,” jay heaves a breath once he’s finally recovered, making sure to use his softening cock to keep you plugged up in fear his cum will drip down and stain the couch, much less make your scandalous activities known to both your parents. he knows he’s going to have to face the reality of everything soon, but for now, he chooses to ignore it, propping himself up with an arm as he takes a look at your tired face that’s still so beautiful even after he basically fucked you within an inch of your life.
“you okay?” he asks softly after a while, prompting you to open your eyes and look up at him. there’s so much love and adoration in them that it makes jay feel all gooey inside, and when you nod with a small smile on your lips, he can’t help but lean back in and kiss you, desperately wishing this won’t be the last time he feels your mouth on his. “you think we made a mess?” you wonder out loud with a giggle once he’s pulled away, and jay just laughs breathlessly at you, brushing a strand of loose hair out of your face to take a proper look. “i’ll clean it up if so, don’t worry, baby.” he reassures in a quiet voice, leaving you to hum in agreement as a response.
“jay.”
“hm?”
“..what now?”
jay inhales when you bring forth the question he doesn’t have an answer to, looking down at you to find your worried expression staring back at him. he coos when you jut out your bottom lip, brushing a thumb against your cheek smoothly as he sighs. “don’t worry about that now, princess. just sleep.” he murmurs.
he can tell you’re not entirely satisfied with his admission, and that you want to say something more, but even if you do, you choose not to, instead opting to follow his advice and shutting your eyes by letting the fatigue from what you’d just been through take over your body. jongseong watches as you slowly close off your thoughts and mind, gently resting his body weight on top of you in favour of pulling you closer. he tries to avoid thinking of the inevitable that’ll come to wake him up, but he’ll deal with that later, choosing to bask in this moment with you for as long as he can before he has to face reality. instead, he presses a small kiss to your cheek, nuzzling it with his nose before closing his own eyes. he eventually drifts off to dreamland, where his thoughts will still be filled with your face.
. . .
comments and reblogs are always appreciated! <3
#✰ sunny's oneshots!#enhypen smut#enhypen x reader#enhypen x you#jay smut#park jongseong smut#jay x you#park jongseong x you#jay x reader#park jongseong x reader#park jay smut#enha smut#enha x reader#enha x you
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I’m just imagining MC trying to curb the brothers’ more dangerous sinful urges, both for their own good and the good of the people around them, but it doesn’t always work out, and MC needs to settle for small victories.
Mammon: Gah! Human! It’s in my DNA! I’m hardwired to want things! I’m the demon of greed dammit! I want to steal!
MC: No! No theft!
Mammon: Not even one bit of grand larceny? ONE jewellery store???
MC: NO!
Mammon: MC-
MC: OH FOR THE LOVE OF- go rob that fucking vending machine to get the urges out! Shoo! Shoo!
Mammon: *grumbles on the way to shake the shit out of a vending machine*
——————
MC: So this is called Chess Boxing, you can stimulate your brain in between giving it blunt force trauma, and inflicting it on your opponent!
Satan: I don’t know, MC… I’m not sure if I’ll like i-
*elapsed time: 3 minutes*
Satan, covered in blood, both his own, and otherwise: WOOOOO! CHECKMATE, YOU DUMB MOTHERFUCKER!
Random wrath demon, on the floor: *shaky thumbs up*
—————
MC: This is called competetive eating, Beel.
Beelzebub: So I need to eat all of these humans eating those tacos before the timer runs out. I don’t know, MC, that sounds easy.
MC: Beel- no- you’re eating the tacos. It’s a competition to see who can eat more food, not people.
Beelzebub: Ohhhhh, that sounds much better! :3
————
MC: So instead of being such a dick-
Lucifer: You love it.
MC: Shut up. Anyway, instead of being such a dick, you can channel your pride into other things, like putting your brothers’ report cards up on the fridge!
Lucifer: MC, I would do that if they got anything worth being proud of.
MC: Maybe you can be proud of yourself for investing in a fucking tutor then, Ms Trunchbull.
————
MC: Belphie- Belphie wake up, we need to find something more sustainable to channel your sloth into.
Belphie: *snore*
MC: …you are a drain on my mental energy.
*MC is immediately swatted by Belphie’s tail*
————
MC: Hey Asmo, you know those incredibly detailed dirty roleplay stories you text me on a regular basis?
Asmo: How could I forget~?
MC: Yeah yeah yeah, so do you want to stop traumatizing me with those and go write a dark romance novel that’ll make some booktok girlie scream over?
Asmo: Oooooo… tempting~!
————
MC: Hey Levi, why don’t we envy something attainable so you have something to work towards? Like showering more!
Leviathan: What..? What’s this all about??
MC: I’m just trying to help you grow beyond constantly feeling envy to everyone around you, because you’re pretty great, Levi!
MC: And you can start showing the world you’re great by showering more!
Leviathan: MC, I don’t know…
MC: Watch, you can envy how much I don’t stink! Levi, please, you smell like moldy Monster Energy…
#obey me#obey me!#obey me! shall we date?#obey me shall we date#obey me mc#obey me mammon#obey me lucifer#obey me Satan#obey me Beelzebub#obey me Belphegor#obey me leviathan#obey me asmodeus#obey me! nightbringer#obey me nightbringer#obey me crack#obey me headcanon#obey me Headcanons#obey me shitpost#obey me meme
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I think if I am not normal tomorrow, I will simply allow myself to be mentally ill. We will see how it goes.
#i can only try to be normal for so long. it is stressful and exhausting#i will at least try to make it to dance class tomorrow but after that i am giving up 👍#unless i am fine in the morning. that is a possibility.#hopefully the nightmares arent so bad tonight. ive been waking up drenched in sweat for weeks.#its annoying ._.#nothing life alteringly awful but just. annoying. does that make sense.#actually last night i had a dream where there was a playhouse labyrinth thing and there was a store in it#and they were selling what looked like kraftac n cheese boxes but they had the lucky charms unicorn instead of mac n cheese.#and they were webkinz brand. and they were labeled 'its fucking pink blasted!!!' or something similar. i wish it was real.#there was also a portion of the dream with so much blood and horrible sludge that got in my mouth and it was not good.#but the pink blasted unicorn box food. worth it.#anyways. im gonna try to sleep now. goodnight.#batty blogging#text
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