#anyway i think i will be funny and if its not ill be disappointed

[socksandbuttons]

i see some people going OH NO OLD MOON AND SOLAR-

meanwhile im pretty sure the moment he knows who it is its

'alright ur family. ill kill for u too' 'god damn it man dont-' 'no, no one hurts family' 'THIS IS WHY WE'RE IN THIS SITUATION'

Sun watching with a glass of wine in his hand unamused and just 'I see how it is.'

[citrlet]

very sad this morning seeing Ryan and Shane leaving youtube to start yet another exclusive subscription service :/

[character-obsessed-fem]

sorry for not being active for a while, i'm on vacation and my schedule is pretty packed + my wifi connection is pretty spotty :3

as an apology, i grant thee; Meeks family headcanons!!!

(might post this on my other account too)

Stephen ??? Meeks Sr. [father] - 46 years old, American

- born in Maryland

- was "present" in his family's lives until Stephen and Stephanie were about eight, then left. lives in Maryland now

- isn't divorced from Julieta only for convenience's sake, still shows up for his kids' school ceremonies/graduations so the heads don't think their home life is "wacky", doesn't show up to any other events

- engineer

- favourite family member used to be Stephen Jr. (before she ), now he hates them all equally

- is everyone's least favourite family member

- he, mr perry, and mr nolan would get along. i feel like that's enough explanation as to what kind of man/father he is

- has fist fought stacy before and will do it again

Julieta ??? Meeks [mother] - 45 years old, Italian

- born in Italy (Florence)

- currently lives in Maine with Stephanie

- overbearing mother. was extremely hesitant to send Stephen to Welton, a boarding school, where she can't easily reach her

   - it's why Stephanie doesn't go to a boarding school

- otherwise amazing mother with some minor flaws and like one or two major flaws

- doctor (specifically cardiologist). dabbled in engineering when she was younger but gave it up for a while due to peer pressure. brought it back once stephen (jr) started showing interest

- favourite family member used to be just Stephen Jr., now it's a tie between her and Stella

- will indulge her children in just about anything (as long as it's not illegal (underage smoking/drinking is an exception)), especially different interests

Stella Ines Laura Meeks [oldest sister] - 25 years old, Italian/American

- born in Italy, Venice

- currently lives in Vermont

- Stephen's emergency contact

- married with one kid (2 years old) and expecting another

- paid astrology intern, will be an actual astrologist soon. always makes sure to tell stephen all about her research because she knows stephen loves stars

- highkey overbearing but is trying to rear it in in an attempt to not be just like her mother. has to bite her tongue everytime she sees the steph twins breaking rules

- favourite family member is their mother

- accidentally hid her first pregnancy from stephen throughout the school year, meaning when stephen came home for the summer and saw stella with a baby she just went "... who's goddamn baby is that"

Stacy Isabella Sofia Meeks [second oldest sister] - 21 years old, Italian/American

- born in Vermont

- currently lives in Maine

- Stephanie's second emergency contact (first is their mother)

- raising an adopted child (six years old) with her "best friend"

- studying psychology, wants to be a therapist specifically so she can "fix" her family (every member of the meeks family avoids therapy like the plague)

- super chill, wine aunt vibes. regularly sneaks cigs and alcohol to the steph twins

- favourite family member is a tie between Stella and Stephanie

- respecting elders for simply being elders? not her thing. has cussed out mr nolan before stephen even started attending welton

Stephanie Cristina Kennedy Meeks [twin sister] - 17 years old, Italian/American

- born in New York

- lives in Maine with her mother (and twin sister when she isn't at Welton)

- if goth music existed in 1959 she'd be goth/gothic

- favourite family member is Stephen

- steals stephen's and stella's clothes all the time. the others have to pry her clothes out of her cold dead hands (unless it's stephen)

- literally the only artist in the family, but is also interested in biology. wants to go to med school or art school, depending on her grades during senior year

    - depending on which sort of school she ends up going to, she wants to either be an ER nurse or an art teacher

- has an aunt who's the dean of an art school, wants to work there as a professor or anything similar - preferably doing a 3D modelling class

Stephen Kennedy Chris Meeks Jr.  - 17 years old, Italian/American

- born in New York

- lives in Maine with her mother and twin sister when not at Welton (Vermont)

- favourite family member is Stephanie, absolutely no way she could have a different favourite

- steals everyone's clothes but also gives back just as many

- does not plan to go to college/university if given the choice. will only go to Yale (engineering/physics) for Pitts and her mom

- wants to be some sort of mechanic or engineer, or even an engineering professor at some university, when she's older.

   - if she doesn't end up going to university she wants to be a plane mechanic - her uncle has connections, especially in the air force so she knows he can get her sorted

   - is on the fence about becoming a pilot - thinks it's cool but not sure if it's a good profession for her. willing to try

hope you enjoyed!! sorry if these headcanons are a bit cliche lol. also i am sorry for just blatantly throwing canon away like that

[kerubimcrepin]

Live-read: The Wheel of Destiny #8, Kerubim.

You can find this article on the Dofus MMO's site, by simply googling it.

A bit of context: this is an article, from the series called "Wheel of Destiny," which focuses on small character studies of various ecaflip characters from the World of Twelve. I won't be doing all of them, just the ones that interest me.

It is my decision to start with this in particular, because of the relatively small size of the article, to test out this... reading liveblogs thing. I hope it goes well, and isn't too boring.

I hate Eca so much it's unreal, just so you know.

To make it more obvious which parts are me, and which parts are the article, while you're skimming the post, I turned on my computer's night mode for making screenshots.

...My sincerest apologies to tumblr's dark mode users, though. I'm sure this is a nightmare for you.

And this is what I was talking about in the previous posts, where I said that, canonically, Kerubim's friendship with Bashi started before the Quest of Two Mornings in Episode 3, Strich Hunt.

Very sad to disappoint, but there does not actually seem to be a Croc Ness monster in the Dofus MMO.

Yet another confirmation of the temple being situated in Amakna. (Besides my own geographical estimations while watching the show, and it literally being there in the Dofus MMO.)

It's a long ass way between the temple, and the swamp, but it is realistically doable for two kids, especially if they have a carriage. (Which Kerubim, being the guy responsible for feeding Ecaflip, does have access too.)

"Five-Cat Monte" is a reference to "Three-Card Monte" which is a real thing.

Glad to know Bashi is also very normal and sane as a kid. Also, very glad that older kids, who give lessons, react to things like this by essentially going "Sure, go die I guess."

God, they are so fucking stupid. Anyway, they are talking about some real landmarks here, all of which are also around Amakna, and seem to be pretty accurate to the in-game geography.

...It feels nice to be right.

...I suppose that, despite its faults, the orphan temple actually gives a shit about its disciples not dying. Color me surprised? Eh, I'm mostly joking. It would be very weird if they didn't.

I will spoil things ahead for you: Ecaflip used magic to make Kerubim look like Atcham.

Bashi's reaction to Atcham being "AAAAH NOT THAT FUCKING CREEPY KID AGAIN 😨". The way he pretty much says, "a ghost?? NO. SOMETHING SCARIER. YOUR WEIRD FUCKING BROTHER."

It all implies., So much. It implies so much. I'm still not over it.

Pictured: my vision of how Bashi reacted to Atcham, when Kerubim (against his will, unwillingly, and deeply embarrassed) was forced to introduce them to one another.

I like to think that before they began to hate one another, Kerubim's relationship with Atcham was similar to what he had with Patafiks. Except instead of copying him, Atcham would, idk. Threaten to kill himself if he got any friend other than him? Threaten to kill his friends?

Something insane and jealousy-based like that.

I may be that guy who's very critical of Kerubim, and constantly going "Atcham's sad implied backstory this, Atcham's sad implied backstory that," but you don't get reactions like that by simply being extremely bullied.

You get reactions like that by being That Heavily Bullied Kid With 20 Mental Illnesses Who Attacks People With Sharp Objects.

Pictured: my rough theory of whatever the fuck happened between Kerubim and Atcham in the orphanage.

It is a funny image... that quickly wraps around back to being sad, once you think about little orphan Atcham, who people fucking hate for being a bingus, who has nobody except for his equally-orphaned brother (who doesn't look weird, can actually make friends, and leave him alone, if he wants to. Which he does.) and how at such a young age he got desperate enough to resort to what seems to be violence to protect himself.

Which got him absolutely no help. And also made people look down on him even further.

I think the funniest part of it all is that Atcham as an adult has:

1. The knowledge that hating Kerubim is literally not productive and a weird fucking coping mechanism.

Yet he keeps doing that.

2. A sort of moral compass that's all about protecting and respecting those in the same shit situation as him. (Even if they insult him. He hates that, but he's mature enough to uh.... just shave people against their will about it.)

While Kerubim is like. Still struggling with even saying that he doesn't even hate his brother. Somehow, he's the more emotionally constipated one.

So normal of them.

Anyway,

I think here we can see a bit of the internal growth Kerubim has had, from the time when he was a child, to adulthood.

Joris cannot picture Kerubim being ashamed, or disgusted, by Atcham, despite this article showing him doing exactly that.

It is the reason why I think one of the factors that contributed to Kerubim adopting, and keeping, Joris, was his guilt over whatever Atcham went through, despite how much he likes to say that he doesn't like Atcham.

Joris is different from other kids: small, weird, probably bald. And in any other situation, it's likely he'd develop a complex about it, except his dialogue in the movie specifically implies that Kerubim has put in conscious parenting effort into preventing exactly that.

While it's obvious that Kerubim loves Joris, there are many flaws in his parenting. So him putting a petabyte worth of effort and research into one single aspect of it is... very telling.

Now for a bit of a reach/headcanon: Who's to say that the reason Joris doesn't have many friends, is not Kerubim trying to isolate him from any potential source of shame or trauma? This part, as I've said, is purely speculation/headcanon — but it is an interesting thought.

And Atcham, who was there, and experienced shit like this from Kerubim, is still swayed by Joris's words.

What I think happened between them is that Kerubim, who yearns for societal approval, is afraid of being like Atcham, who is often ostracized and disliked by people for his looks. Besides this, I think Atcham, who was Going Through Horrors, was clingy.

For these reasons, he pushed Atcham away, and it is this betrayal, coupled with Kerubim's advantages in the form of not looking weird and being Ecaflip's favorite, that made Atcham fucking detest him.

What it all means is that Joris isn't necessarily wrong: Kerubim wouldn't hurt Atcham (at least, not unless it's self defense), and what he did was just... trying to save his own skin as kid.

Which isn't exactly malicious.

And I guess Atcham agrees with Joris on Kerubim's incapability of doing harm to him on purpose. Otherwise, he would never be convinced to change his mind.

There is probably a reason for why Kerubim would rather live in a forest, than go back to the temple looking like Atcham. And as I've said, I don't think it's a happy one.

Now think about Atcham doing this his whole life and get sad. Like I just did.

I think that, of all the things, it's most disgusting that whatever happened to Kerubim and Atcham was happening under the watch of Ecaflip, and perhaps even because of him.

I wouldn't put it past him to orchestrate their hatred for each other for fun. Or because he wanted Kerubim all alone, to himself.

I also find it interesting, the way Ecaflip says "once more" here. Implies that it used to be a normal thing for him. I suppose my guesses of Kerubim being disliked by other kids due to Atcham may have some merit.

And god, it makes me so, so sad.

He cares enough to intervene when Kerubim is about to die, which goes against his own rules, but not when it's about his kids' life being fucking awful.

...Maybe Oropo was right.

Do we know if Ecaflip's emotions are even genuine? He is the narrator of this story, after all, and he could be lying. He puts Kerubim in danger many times. Many. Just for fun and his own amusement.

I will take Ecaflip's narration as a straight-forward one, — that he really is feeling these things, but it still reads as manipulation, even if he is doing it for "Kerubim's sake". He's not a good father and never will be one, and these are very cruel lessons.

I will be real, their relationship disgusts me to my heart <3 Amen.

And now we know why Kerubim is... like that. And why his parenting is so overbearingly sweet, controlling, and obsessed with making sure Joris knows he adores him and adores him back.

Perhaps, despite everything, Atcham was the luckier one for not having Ecaflip's "love" the way Kerubim did, but honestly, I feel both of them had it equally shitty.

A true "would you rather sit on an anthill or sit on a cactus" choice.

[messenger-of-stupidity]

Soup is for nerds

WOW ITS BEEN SO LONG SINCE IVE DONE ONE OF THESE!!

Welcome back to the Shaw Pack Mates Super top secret and totally unknown by anyone outside of the group groupchat. (Name trademarked by Angel.)

Whether these are real conversations I’ve overheard/seen/partaken in or not is entirely unknown and shall stay that way.

CW: Crack, Angel needs to learn what boundaries are but not in a toxic way, Sam is asking for a god to save him he’s not picky on which god he’ll even rely on science it doesn’t even need to be religious, Sweetheart please for the love of the universe put the cat down, Baabe why are you just sitting there laughing?

Actual CW: Crack, mentions to others being sneaky link/hoes/sluts but in a friendly platonic way, GN listeners. Any reference to gendered terms is purely for the memes and not to be taken seriously.

<-- Previous _______ Next -->

Redacted Masterlist

Angel: im so disappointed in u all

Sam: Oh dear. What’s upset you now?

Angel: is that lip im hearing

Baabe: if my boss finds out im on my phone right now im so dead. so whats wrong bb?

Sweetheart: Tracking down a covert breaker. Cant talk rn.

Sam: Now I’m actually concerned. Is this genuine, or is Angel being Angel again?

Angel: not one of u said ‘congrats on ur nuptials’

Sam: I wasn’t aware anyone called marriage nuptials anymore, but also if I’m not mistaken you two have yet to have your wedding since you both are still planning it?

Baabe: CONGRATS ON YOUR NUPTIALS YOU SILLY GOOSE

Angel: this is why im marrying with baabe

Baabe: LETS GET DOWN TO BUSINESS

Angel: ooooooo teeaaaaa

Sweetheart: That’s what he said.

Sam: I think one day I will gather the strength to leave this groupchat.

Angel: oh ill just add u back and then kidnap u to drag u to my basement so u cant ever try to leave me again

Sam: Angel what the fuck.

Angel: HE DIDNT USE A COMMA IM THE REAL WINNER HERE

Baabe: to defeat the huns~

Angel: im so upset rn its not even funny like i cant live laugh love under these conditions

Baabe: aweeee what’s wrong bby?

Sam: Is there something I could do to help? I will if I can.

Angel: hang on i gotta wait for sweetheart to respond so i can get all the attention necessary

Sweetheart: Sorry I was just filming a tiktok with Aggro. Whats up

Angel: perfect all my three hoes are here

Sam: I resent being called that, but I also recognize my powerlessness in getting you to change it, so continue.

Angel: do yall even have any clue how expensive it is to buy a mcdonalds bouncy house

Sweetheart: Why are you trying to buy a bouncy house

Baabe: ngl i’m kinda curious about that too

Angel: well i could just buy it because ur bitch is rich rich but i share a joint account with my mega alpha gigachad of a finance so i cant buy it without him noticing but i wanna keep it a surprise so theres just a bouncy house in our backyard when he comes home

Sam: Don’t you mean your ‘fiance’?

Angel: no i mean finance im just with davey for his money but my real loves is my three hoes in this gc

Sweetheart: Youre so romantic Angel

Baabe: ikr? like just marry me already

Angel: anyways this is my way of asking u to buy me a bouncy house who wants the privilege

Angel: DONT JUST LEAVE ME ON READ YOU SLUTS

Angel: SOS

Baabe: whats wrong sneaky link?

Sam: Once again, I am confused whether or not this is a serious thing or Angel is playing up the dramatics again.

Sweetheart: I can send you a picture of my son if that will help

Angel: yes pls i miss my baby boy Angel: and also were out of sugary cereal and davey is making me eat his yucky worm food

Sweetheart: WHY DID YOU WRITE SOS? THIS IS A 911 EMERGENCY!

Baabe: dw bb i got u. just ask him why hes giving you his dog food.

Angel: oooo good idea hell take it away then and tell me to just starve and give me the chance to naruto run to sams house for breaky

Sam: Now hold on just a minute. I don’t recommend doing that Angel, also I don’t need to eat food and Darlin isn’t here for me to have any reason to make breakfast. I think you’ll survive a morning without your cereal.

Angel: YALL HE THREW A PLASTIC SPOON AT ME HALP

Baabe: MWAHAHAHAHHAHAHA

Sweetheart: rip

Angel: You’re next. - David

Baabe: oh fuck

Sweetheart: MWAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA

Sam: rip

[takekawa]

do you. do you have any ideas/theories on how rin could survive/make it to the gay cuck ending -totally anonymous tumblr user

postponed answering this bc it took me a bit to roll the idea around in my head. obligatory 'my character interpretations are firmly rooted in canon but still, like, extrapolating reasonably and prone to my horny tragedy-fetish bastard inclinations'

VERY difficult to come up with feasible theories given 'rin survives' is an inherently story-altering event in the context of shikis route and 'rin and shiki stop fighting (or rin gets somehow dragged into a situation like akira)' would require a lot of character development by proxy of rin and shiki fundamentally misunderstanding eachother.

i would have to play rin's route again (and shikis. and nanos) to get an exact gauge but from what i recall shiki is, in a bizarre way, 'caring' towards rin but i always assumed it was coming from a place of 'hardening' him. tough love. granted fucking 'I assault and kill all my problems' shiki isn't gonna be anywhere near emotionally intelligent enough to realize his nagging obsession over rin is an obsession (and more importantly a possessive one. i might be a lunatic misremembering but it did ABSOLUTELY come off [TO ME] like shiki was jealous of akira alongside being disappointed in rin).

rins pretty easy and doesn't really necessitate a paragraph like he has blonde twink BPD its fucking joever for him. over emotional little cuck was not built for sigma edit shiki. ill add that i personally prefer to headcanon that rin 'maturing' in his good end is him emulating shiki's 'cool' stoicism and complete refusal of cognitive empathy rather than rin really growing and moving on from shiki. outwardly seems fine but in my heart hes still having white girl meltdowns in private.

ANYWAYS. LOTS OF PREAMBLE! in my ideal world rin's emulation of shiki would start much earlier and lead to a gradual, self-destructive spiral into 'fearlessness'. what appeals akira to shiki in the first place is akiras lack of fear & will to fight in the face of it and i do NOT think rin is capable of being anywhere near as comparatively normal as tsundere 'just some guy trying his best' akira.

what makes most sense to me is their confrontation ending in a similar way to what leads to the shikiaki route (fighting and refusing to back down & showing no fear etc etc) with my personal preference being that he DOESNT lose like little bitch [affectionate] akira and instead reaches a standstill against shiki. neither side really wins

my deranged brain is speaking rn (maybe) but from how oddly morose shiki is after cutting rin into sashimi i like to think thats the ideal end shiki would've wanted. rin lets go of his fear, attachment and by extension anyone else but shiki, and becomes as emotionally detached as shiki is.

again i doubt shiki is aware he wants that and doubly doubt he would (or could) even ENTERTAIN the idea that rin dying is something that would make him sad. emotion is a weakness etc etc.

anyways. neither side really wins -> they end up teaming-up-but-not-really, in the sense that they're both freak bloodthirsty bastards who are TOTALLY not obsessed with eachother its COINCIDENCE that they keep engaging in swordfight foreplay. akira still being included in this is deeply funny i know hes getting fucking tossed around like a ragdoll between rin & shiki.

putting aside all my actual character analysis aside i think demure rin in the too-big shirt like akira has making out with akira sloppy style while waiting for their wife to come back from whatever the fuck his cunty dictator job implies would be hottest. but. my storytellers soul struggles to see a story where a mindbroken rin wouldn't just piss shiki off.

akira gets the advantage of being someone shiki has no real prior entanglement with, or at least nothing NEAR the psychosexual insanity going on with whatever the fuck shiki & rin have.

[weebnotheree]

~ 𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘓𝘰𝘴𝘵 𝘛𝘳𝘪𝘱𝘭𝘦𝘵 ~ || Ɓօօƙ 1

|| 𝘗𝘳𝘰𝘭𝘰𝘨𝘶𝘦 ||

Standing near the ocean, on a hill. Two people. A son and his father. Blood, dripping in the snow, staining its artic glow. Their hair and Sesshomaru's dog fur swaying in the wind.

"Father. Do you insist on going?" the son spoke with such intensity in his voice. There he stood a few meters behind the one he calls father. His father looked ahead, not turning to face him as he spoke.

"Do you intend to stop me, Sesshomaru?" his father declared.

"I will not stand in your way. However, before you go, you must entrust the sword Sō'unga and Tessaiga to me" he suggested, which was really a demnad for his father.

"And if i refuse? Will you kill me? Your own father" he groaned in annoyance of what he thinks what Sesshomaru is really after. "Do you desire power so much? Why do you seek power my son?"

"The path I walk is the way of Supreme Conquest. And it is power that will reveal the way for me" he voiced straightforwardly. His father slightly put his head down with disappointment. Why does he seek power? Unlike his other son Inuyasha. Thou they might have forgotten their second eldest of the brothers, the father has not. He is still in search of his son, not giving up. M/n and Inuyasha do not seek power like their brother Sesshomaru. But something else.

[Hard-heartedly: Lacking in feeling or compassion; pitiless and cold.]

"Supreme Conquest" he uttered hard-heartedly. "Tell me Sesshomaru. Have you someone to protect?" he asked. Wanting to test Sesshomaru, he awaits his answer.

He was looking at his father, standing in front of him. He squinted his eyes. "Protect?" he remarked. Who would he need to protect? He doesn't need to protect anyone. He only protects himself. Tension took over as they stood. Only the waves of the ocean could be heard crashing against the sand.

"The answer is no. I Sesshomaru have no idea of such" he says as he spreads out his right arm, with his pointer and middle finger in a position he usually uses. Like his poisonous whips from his fingertips. He stanced himself ready to fight as his father roared, turning into a giant dog demon. His answer made his father very angry. 

(sorry its like that *yk the effect in anime's when u try to pause and screenshot*)

How could he forget? I mean yeah it hasss been an insanely long time BUT STILL.

ok but why are their voices deep tho o-o kinda deeper than i remember now that im going back an watching it.

But anyways I hope you enjoyed this s- prologue u-u. And I still am updt TBHK CH51 (warning, it's gonna be long. Soo yea) DONT worry!! It's just school that's taking up the time for me updating. But I've just been having the urge to upt SOME OF MY STORIES but school work is ugh...but hopefully I have it updt by 3:20 pm. AND/OR TOMRRW! srry if I keep saying ill udpt..its just bc I'm busy.  🥱 😴😵💫 and i be tired after school.

Bruh and it's so funny bc yall keep getting onto me about that Sagittarius sign 🤣. GUYS..i only put it there bc i thought it was the GENDER thing for a boy 😖 😖 I even looked it up and it was blue with that sign...smh  😤 but I Luv all signs, don't come for me!

And look forward to new stories. Yk i just keep getting new ideas AND i still don't have my devices still so these ideas are.....(_-_)and doing the stories during school is just *sighs* so yea look forward to those >~<   😞 😔 😭

AND the things small TINY celebrating..whatever u wanna call it, when I post the updt it's gonna say like "TYSM FOR 50K" but now the book is up to 60...k i think, or 56 point something but don't mind that bc that was when i DID hit 50K. BUT TY FOR READING MY STORIES AND FOLLOWING ME I REALLY APPRECIATE IT! IT ALWAYS ENCOURAGES ME TO WRITE MORE AND KEEP UPDT!! 🥺 🥺

[1seaweedbrain1]

Shit I've Said/Done As Batfam Pt. 6 (i think)

Bruce - oh yeah man its cool ill just i dunno die or somethin whatever works

Alfred - listen i want to help but if you keep doing that i will throw this at you

Dick - what if i just *dramatically melts out of my chair and lays on the floor* hgnnnnn *jumps up* AND IM BACK GOD WISHES HE COULD KEEP ME DOWN

Jason - (so i did this three or so times but whatever) *shakes phone/book* GIVE ME THE FUNNY GAY PEOPLE!! GIVE ME MY CHAOTIC GAYS OR SO HELP ME I WILL DESTROY EVERYTHING YOU LOVE!

Tim - *collapses in front of an inanimate object* MY LOVE PLEASE TALK TO ME!! *after keeps not working* you know communication is key to a healthy relationship

Damian - *family walks by* *gasp* a BABY *runs past the actual baby to the cute fluffy dog* ...can i pet? please? it will make my year if i can pet the dog

Bonus

Wally - i may want to die an a regular basis but i have a reputation as an energetic dumbass and well id hate to disappoint so whO WANTS TO SEE IF I CAN CLIMB THAT WALL

Harley - i recognize that letting things go is the healthier option here but you know whats more fun? murder. and it sets an example. MURDER HAS A BONUS!! although i might feel bad about it later... BUT THATS FUTURE MES PROBLEM AND WELL SHE WONT LIKE ME ANYWAY

[chaotically-coz]

Entry #1, sep 11 2024.

Dear diary,

Yeah.. i dont really know what im trying to do here, but i suck at venting so i guess this is a better way for me to actually say stuff.

Saying ‘dear diary’ sounds kinda weird tbh, im probably gonna come up with a new name or something, idk

Uhh… today hasnt exactly been the best, it wasn’t the worst either.

I woke up late and ended up being like- 40 minutes late to school. I dont feel like being yelled at by my teacher, especially considering the fact ive already been late several times, and its only the first day!

Anyways, i pulled the ‘i threw up’ card and managed to skip… i know i shouldnt have. I shouldnt have faked my way out of school.. i dont know why but i just cant go back to seeing that look of disappointment.

We’re only about 5 days into school and i already feel like im disappointing everybody i know. Irl friends have noticed ive seemed different in school.. i just feel so out if it lately. Almost like im.. not really there? Like im moving in third person. Like a part of me just feels.. empty. Im trying, i really am!

I think one of my closest friends saw my scars the other day… thats not good. I know she saw them, i pulled my arm away and we never discussed it but still,,

A lot of my other friends have been distant.. one of them i have like, no classes with. The other one moved away.. i have most of my classes with the same people, i guess seeing the same people over and over is getting tiring.

I can feel myself falling behind in subjects, but im seriously trying!! I cant help but zone out- or get distracted. I cant pick up the teaching or understand ni matter how hard i try. Ive suspected i had ADHD for a while, pretty sure my friends have too. Im too terrified to ask my mom for a proper diagnosis, and i dont want to self diagnose myself, so i guess ill just wait untill everybody stops thinking im stupid and actually suspect things.

Aaaaanyways, i didnt do much today aside from staying home. I watched tv most of the day, which i know is lazy but like… my chromebook charger is broken so i cant really do much else. I could go outside or take a walk. I know i need to practice for cheer and dance.

I did my brothers hair today, that was really funny, we screamed the lyrics to stupid songs.

The thought, “am i forgettable?” Has been playing through my mind alot. Like.. i know that im chaotic and an arsonist and whatever but.. what else?

Is that really all there is to me? What am i really like? Do people view me how i view myself? I guess I’ll never really know the true answers.

I just.. i feel so forgettable. Like.. if i dissapeared.. nobody would notice. I just.. idk.

I dont feel like myself. I wanna feel normal.. i dont care if ‘normal’ meant a being of chaos and destruction, and pretty mentally ill.. atleast i felt like a person. I’d rather feel like that than feel so empty.. i dont like this.

Ive gained weight.. talking abt stuff like this on the internet is kinda eughhhh but still. I feel like i need to vomit every time i eat.. or just stop eating.. i dont feel comfortable in my body anymore.

I’m trying to stop venting so much, i feel like im beginning to do it too much, and people are getting tired of me.

Drama club starts on friday!! Im pretty excited for that. I cant wait to get back into theater.

Uhhhh yeah! Theres a bunch more but idk how much i can fit into one entry, its pretty late so im probably sleeping soon. I guess thats it!

Entry completed

[seospicybin]

FUCK BOY NEXT DOOR😭😭

Where do I begin????

Firstly, WHY DO I LOWKEY SEE MYSELF IN Y/N😭😭

Guys this relationship is taking a toll on me and Im not even sure if I like him like that but hes really really nice to me and I like himmmm😭😭 anyways.... shes such a detached unsaturated grey but then she turns slightly softer... Chan is a kinda annoying shade of red throughout but its also kinda orange like vermilion...? idk

ALSO I HAVE PERSONAL BEEF WITH F-BOYS

I HATE HATE HATE Man whores, players, f-boys ALL OF THEM. Like Bro- youre not fucking funny youre just a BOP! like ewwww a walking talking STD🤮🤮🤢🤢 AND THEN THEY ALWAYS THINK THEYRE THE SHIT LIKE SORRY NO????? PUT THE FUCKING FRIES IN THE BAG AND STOP MAKING SICKENING 𝓽𝓱𝓲𝓻𝓼𝓽 𝓽𝓻𝓪𝓹𝓼.

You're not cool.

You're not funny.

You're a freak.

ANYWAYS THE STORY SEEMS CUTE!

While I don't think that they should end up together or that he's good for her (He's a distraction and she needs to address her trauma to committing.(That's targeted(at me))) He seems like someone who she's SUPPOSED to meet for the character development yk? Like we all love bad boys but we don't really cause I want a man who will CHERISH and LOVE me but Im scared of men cherishing and ACTUALLY loving me like what if I disappoint them? Do I deserve it? Its so frustrating fr and like a nonchalant boy is easier to be with than a boy whos in it for the long term BUT I ALSO WANNA BE IN IT FOR THE LONG TERM but I'm scared:(

That's it! ALSO, Thank you for appreciating my rantsss maybe Ill just switch of the anony atp 👀👀

Bye bye~ 🥂

Okay, okay, I get your hate for fboys, babe. I hear you well and yeah, I think I kind of see yn in you 😂

And I didn't say anything about hating your rant, I loved it so pls continue. I demand it!!!!

As always, thank you for the feedback, baby. I appreciate it so much ❤️

[mc-glare-is-king]

Funny Out of Context Quotes From My Friend Group’s Discord Server

(I say out of context but some of them have a little context lmao- also this is just for funsies bc i love my friends & our chaotic groupchat)

(idk if my friends have tumblr but if they do- you didn’t see this)

“Also, [insert professors name] is a whore for not just posting our grades online and that’s on god”

“he’s dead💀 sleep well!”

A note I had in the rough draft of a paper for my art class that I shared with my friends:

“I just finished my conclusion, but I keep thinking about how I wasn’t sure if I was supposed to describe the painting or not and it’s like almost 11PM so I don’t want to bother you but also my brain has low key melted and is officially done for the night so I just wrote this paragraph and you can either say yes to the dress or throw this page to the sharks or something.”

And the following response:

“SAY YES TO THE DRESS😭”

“Idk but like kill it girlie KSDFHSJD”

“The pug is on the BRINK of death🥰”

“friggin snappychat whatchamacallit and all y’all youngsters smh”

^ and the “LMAO GRANDPA PLEASE” in response^

“GET UR DIRTY LIPS AWAY”

“SIN COSINE TANGENT HELP”

“u signed with the turkin grease???”

“Can I take over your Brian?” (brain lmao)

“My Brian ??? Sure u can have him he’s not good at his job anyways”

“Wait will he give me your dyslexia”

I would email [insert professors name] like “hey how do I do this one thing on adobe” and he’ll be like “you literally took my graphics class” and then he’ll turn into that Dance Moms meme where Abby Miller is like “HAVE WE LEARNED NOTHING, JOJO”

-And he’s like “GO TO LAVA LAMP YOUTUBE”

“im lesking [friends name] im leaking”

I would say that to them and they’d probably go “lmao get good, we’re the American education system, you stupid little bitch”

my friend referred to my anxiety, adhd, & depression as “um… illnesses” one time and i thought it was funny

“i deal with [friends name] on a daily basis and her fards stank bro” (in response to me saying how much I appreciate them dealing w/ my daily weekly breakdowns lmao)

\/ \/ speaking of my breakdowns👀 \/ \/

ITS GONNA BE WHEN I ULTIMATELY WORK MYSELF UP ABOUT THIS PROJECT SO MUCH THAT I BURN MYSELD OUT AND END UP FEELING LIKE IM A FAILURE WHOS DISAPPOINTING EVERYONE

…

ahahaha anyways-

how is everyone else’s day going lmao

“[professors name] really said “I want you to have fun w this project” but followed it up with “but also it needs to be the best piece you’ve ever given me” as if that wouldn’t stress me out💀”

“HEY💢‼️‼️GIRL🙋‍♀️‼️🚺My name is TSUKASA TENMA🦄I💆‍♂️🗣AM👍👍STAR‼️⭐️🌟I👁AM🌎FUTURE STAR DANCE🗣🗣‼️‼️‼️💃🕺💃🕺AND‼️‼️🆒➕SING‼️🗣🗣🎙”

“I’ll beat his head into the dirt” (in response to my lil brother making fun of part of an art project I was working on)

“Do I need to put your dad on my parents hitlist😭”

[thehandwixard]

all your tim drake posting lately reminded me of a line from a review of 90s/2000s batman i read a long time ago. "tim drake is the only time batman needed robin more than robin needed batman". do you agree with that take, or have any nuance to add to it?

oh i absolutely agree with that take, though im not sure robin.. ever needed batman more than batman needed robin? i think they definitely needed eachother equally, but tim is an.. hes a case

i was gonna say a lot about the robin mythos i havent quite synthesized yet but ill send a couple pages with commentary instead

A Lonely Place of Dying

the thing about tim is that he becomes robin with shit to lose, unlike known orphans dick and jason who are literally dependant on bruce legally (ward and adopted son) and he isn't really.. bruce's problem cause of this but tim knows that batman needs him. i do generally see tim as being cognizant of the metatextual in some way but the important thing is is that he has been having knight terrors and visions of batman and dick grayson his entire life and knows everything about them. he didnt even initially want to be robin, he basically has no stake in this venture but steps in anyways because he does emotionally. he knows bruce will die of 30 gunshot wounds because of the grief over his lost son was making him not think about what was happening. bruce has an obsession with family the same he does with (gestures vaguely) and even if tim is plainly saying like. im not your surrogate son i will be this symbol though it. well. fate has a funny trick in place for him (mother is killed and father is indefinitely hospitalized)

its why he and alfred click so instantly and so well tbh, they both have this role of being definitely *dependant* on batman to exist and emotionally in the way batman can even be.. indirect emotional support. spiritual support? but they know he relies on them deeply to keep going at any rate.

i think tim feels he owes batman and robin, hes deathly afraid to disappoint bruce to the point that in life or death situations hes afraid not of his own demise but of disappointing him. like.. he knows bruce would probably blame himself deeply if tim died 'under his watch' and treats that as failing him. which is.. a LOT but very different than just dependancy

but batman and robin always needed eachother, and thats gonna happen to tim the hard way eventually

and obvi this isnt even getting into the robins post-tim which are

steph: not a son figure to bruce

damian: actual son

we are robin: a youth movement that were deliberately defined by batman's absence

not to mention that bruce starts getting a lot more people to pick up the slack over time and keep him in line because he cares about keeping himself safe for all their sakes. and also his awesome daughter cass

[buckieduckie2]

why i joined tumblr and why i ship byler- cause i want to info dump cause i can

i wanna tell everyone why i got on tumblr because i can and i want to

so i got on tumblr because of byler during august. i started shipping byler during july.

i was kinda late to the stranger things party and i didnt actually watch it until may of 2022, but funny enough, it WASNT because of season 4 at all actually. my friend just really really wanted me to watch it because she thought id like it. she was riiiiiggghhthttttt.

yeah lmfao i didnt watch stranger things cause there was so much hype around season 4, i watched it because i wanted something gay to watch cause my heart stopper hyperfixation had just gone away and i still needed something gay to watch. i dm my friend saying "hey, do you have anything gay to watch because i need to watch something gay" and she gave me a list and was like "richie from IT is gay" and "will from stranger things is gay" and of course MY brain translated this to "mike is gay" because of notions from before hand i had about this little known to me character mike and also the fact that i knew that finn wolfhard played richie so i mistook will for mike because i was thinking the FCU and- yeah

so yeah i watched stranger things because a) my frined really wanted me to and b) the knowlege that mike was gay and thats what pushed me

anyways to safe to say i was THOROUGHLY confused when they started pulling the mike and el narraitve cause i LEGITEMATELY just thought it was straight canon like genuinelly- i had already imagined what i thougt the coming out scene would be like for him- LMFOAOOOO

anyways back on track- so then mike and el kissed and ill admit i was a lil disappointed but i was like fuck it ig theyre cute and then proceeded to be BLINDEDDDDDD by comp het. twas a very sad three next seasons for me in retrospect 😔

so then i saw the "its not my fault you dont like girls" and then i was like- oh yeah this is the dude my friend was talking about

ANYWAYS

so yeah why i got on tumblr?

cause i got on pinterest andnndndnd yk naturally statrted filling my feed with stranger things stuff and of course i loved will cause he was gay and that made me so like omgggggg yass hes gay and that makes me so happy- but like i didnt ship byler- I THOUGHT HE WAS GONNA GET TO SEE ONE DUDE IN THE VERY LAST SCENE HELP 💀🖐 i now realize im allowed to hold myself to better standards

so everytime i would see something byler related id be like, yeahhhhhhh its cute but not for me </3 cause i was like "yeah will likes mike but obvi mike doesnt like will back 🙄" and i thought it was a lil kookie and also was a firm believer that mike was straight cause yk i love throwing away all my suspicions that were raised while watching season 4 yk i love just forgetting everything 💀

and THEN one faitful day in july i was over at my friends house (The same gril who made me wtch stranger things) and we were watching gay stranger things edits on tiktok (as ya do) and GIRLIE

there was one edit- (and usually as i was watching these compilations i would just ignore the byler stuff and-) it was a rink-o-mania edit

need i say more

i saw that look

i SAW THAT LOOK

and i knew

we paused the video immediately and were like "well- i mean i know that mike is straight-" "yeah exactLy-" "but-" "but-" "but right there-" "yeah i dont know that-" "that seemed pretty gay-" "but mike is straight, right?" "yeah- yeah..- mike is straight..." "yeah..." "...yeah..."

literally how it went

anyways so then im like- its running thorugh my head all evening and like- that sole video was enough to like 99% convince me he was gay- like cmon fellas lets be real here. anyways so yeah i was now 99% convinced that mike was gay or not straight yk (im a gay mike truther now) and we talked about it for a lil and

yeah so then i started paying more attention to the byler posts on my pinterest page and i started reading theroies, all of which were tumblr screen shots and i started really convinceing myself- still was on the fence but-

the one post, and one of the first posts that i read. and the post that conviced me was "Why I no longer think Mike Wheeler is Bi, but Gay" yk the iconic post from @kaypeace21? yeah so i read that and was like "fuck im convinced" and then i proceeded to read the entirety of the byler slides over the course of a 3 day period and fully fully convinced myself

and yeah i kept looking at theories on pinterest screen shotted from tumblr and yk byler was my everything (and still very much is) and i loved pinterest and spent all of my time on there and- 💀 i read- i read w- wh- wattpad fics 💀😟 BUT ITS OKAY because i actually found a pretty good collection of one shots on there but- nah man after one specific fic i found i had to call it quits cause i couldnt handle it anymore 💀💀💀💀

and then i found one poster on pinterest that would just do daily updates on the byler tag on tumblr and eventuallyyyyyy i decided tumblr looked really fun and i was tired of just watching afar tired of WAVING FROM A WINDOW WOOOOAAHHHOWOWAHHHOOOHHH

yeah so i decided enough was enough and i wanted to be directly at the source and part of the action

and now im here <33333

and yeah so i have officially upgraded from Pinterest and Wattpad™ to AO3 and Tumblr™ and thank the lord too 😟🙏

@l0v3c0r3e peer presuring you into reading this entire unit of a post

[wrdn-tabris]

a little life update :-)

(pls help i need advice)

so

i have this friend. two friends actually. i went to visit them recently (june)

friend 1, lets call her cat had asked friend two, lets call her bee, to move down with her. bee agreed. issues immediately started. bee was off her meds and didnt want to get back on them, and started picking fights with cat, treating her badly and etc bc thats what bee used to do when she still lived with her mom. pick fights when her mood dropped and get into screaming matches (tho its not like her mom didnt also pick fights with her)

cats telling me abt this at this time and i feel bad bc i feel like i wasnt being a good friend mostly bc i didnt have the energy to hear abt how terrible it was going for her. i was going thru a lot when it started which isnt her fault or my fault, but i feel bad for not being more supportive. so cat stopped telling me abt it, bc i didnt know what to do or how to fix things. i thought stuff resolved itself but i went and visited and it hasnt. really.

so i arrive. bee doesnt come with cat to pick me up, which, ok disappointing but i understood she was tired. she didnt come to eat with us either. which also sad

next day cat asks for some rent money to get herself lunch, bc she forgot to make smth to eat before leaving and cat couldnt and wouldnt give their rent money so she could get lunch. so she asked us to bring her lunch from mcdonalds if she ordered somthing bc she had points on the app, and we had to decide tht if we are driving tht far out to where she works we might as well do something over there. cat asks if we should invite her partner with us and i agreed bc i wanted to meet him. we go to pick up her lunch, she asks me to buy her something rather than ordering smth off the app, which, feels :/ to assume ill just buy it for her. i would have if she asked but she just sent me her order. mybe an asshole move of my to say 'uhhh sure if ur able to order it off the app???'

get the food, fight thru traffic to get to her, have to fight thru parking traffic to get out of where she works. we end up visiting this old military fort and hang out for a few hours and when we come back we think bee is asleep. its like. 7:30? 8:00?

so i try to inflate the blow up bed i got for them to use for when they have other guests sleep over and me and cats bf wake her up while im trying to figure out how to work it so she comes out and snaps at us. i apologize for being loud, promise to be quieter but im inflating the air mattress so i might be loud for a few minutes. the ENTIRE time im inflating it shes standing there arms crossed glaring at us and clearing her throat the entire time. and maybe its just me but??? i find that to be a little fucking rude tbqh. me and the bf are guests and its making me feel unwelcome and regretting the money i spent to come visit her. anyways cat comes out from the bathroom bc bee is still there clearing her throat with her arms crossed even after i finished fixing up the air mattress, and its quiet as hell bc me and bf are both uncomfy. cat gets mad and upset bc were guests in their home and she shouldnt be treating her like tht. shes upset we woke her up but surprise surprise shes even MORE upset i met cats partner before hers bc she wanted it to all be 'together' even tho i agreed to meet bf bc i did! want to meet him! and that we went to the fort without her.

anyways.

i apologize to her abt that bc i wanted to meet him but shes like 'no cat knew i wanted to do this thing' which fair.

the rest of the week goes ok. i get to meet her partner and theyre so nice and funny and i was super excited to meet them. we hit off great. we get lunch with one of cats friends, bee remarks abt 'oh i used to get so upset abt ppl being happier than me, enjoyed making ppl unhappy and would go out of my way to do so, bc i didnt like that they were happy and i wasnt' i buy bee a present for her birthday and u kno week ends i go home, and turns out bees partner comes out to her abt some things and bee freaks out, gets super upset and reacts really poorly. starts crying and going off abt being betrayed and etc.

turns out partner breaks up with her the next day bc they were uncomfortable with the reaction and then she starts crying and going off again abt feeling betrayed and upset and wanting to kill herself and tht they told her they loved her and would never leave and etc etc etc amongst other 'its not faiiiir' reactions. i still hold the opinion she was upset bc they broke up with her first.

cat calls her out for her behavior and that shes saying some very inappropriate things and tht ex isnt an awful person. bee ends up demanding all the gifts she gave ex back and wanted to know what ex would be doing with special gifts they got her before they both broke up.

i honestly end up quite. disgusted? with her behavior bc any time she broke up with someone while she lived separately from cat, shed ghost us and wed only get her side of the story. cat all but ends up moving in with her partner bc bee refuses to clean up after herself and keeps making a mess of things and its just a bad living situation.

cat tells bee tht shes not thinking of renewing their lease at the end of the year bc she cant handle living like this and bee lashes out. ends up making a mess of their kitchen and breaking some of cats things.

she also uses special non stick stuff of cats and uses metal on it (which ur not supposed to do) and keeps using cats own dishes and dishes she got from her grandma and doesnt clean them or anything.

my thing is. i dont know what to do. i kinda wanna stop our friendship bc im upset at how shes treating our other mutual friend. but i dont know if i should talk to her bc ive asked cat if i should try and talk to her to get her to see tht shes not being a good friend and cats told me not to, mostly bc she refuses to see shes wrong. im leaning towards wanting to follow her advice bc she has been living with bee but also it feels so scummy not to say anything esp when i know shes going to be going thru a difficult time in the next few months. however if i talk to her, i dont want to cause her to lash out at bee or have any of her things that are still at their apartment broken bc bees already proven to lash out and break other peoples things when shes upset at them, and i dont want to make it any worse for her.

bee would tend to ghost us when she was stll living with her mother, so much so tht we wouldnt hear from her for weeks or months, esp when she was feeling bad. i would try to reach out to her just to make sure she was fucking alive lmao. im worried if i were to reach out and ask abt all this and end with our friendship splitting off, shed do something drastic like hurt herself. i want to reach out and try to salvage what i feel is a dissolving friendship but i also dont want to be friends with this type of person unless shes worked on herself. i still love and care for her but like i know who i would stick by if i had to which... feels bad to say and sucks but th fact is i am closer with cat, mostly bc when bee would ghost us me and cat would still talk and we have more in common.

i want to talk and ask her why she would do and say these things and treat ppl she loves like this but ive been told not to but it would feel wrong not to at least. reach out. i dont know what to do.

AITA?

[vampryn]

ok so when i was in high school id heard of ghost (back when they were called ghost bc) and they put out a record so i bought it to try them out. i listened to it and did not like it, i was so disappointed because they were a relatively new band and people were super excited about them. i tried so hard, but couldnt do it. i would hear them on the radio at work all the time and HATED it (i worked at an alt shop). i did not get it, i think i was expecting super in-your-face metal, but theyre more of a rock band, so it wasnt scratching my metal itch. anyway, i quit that job 3 or 4 months ago and the song started playing in my head randomly in the day. completely unprompted. so i’d listen to it every now and then, maybe one play every week or so sprinkled into my regular mix, up until recently.. WHEN THE STUPID SONG GOT SO STUCK IN MY HEAD THAT IT STILL HASNT LEFT. so i guess i can say that ghost is growing on me. i was a total hater i wont lie, but after understanding a bit more about the band and their funny little lore and concepts its a lot easier to appreciate. music does this sometimes though, i’ll hate something for YEARS and then ill hear it differently one time and completely change my mind. so.. dont listen to my opinion is what im saying

[caelumsnuff]

I'd love to know your stance about the Leftovers couple (Sam and Darlin's series) because with this back-to-back updates and Quinn is turning out to just be a cliche, abusive ex, I find that I'm seriously disappointing in their plot.

PS: This is the author of THAT fic 🤭

the controversial Sam and Darlin fic?????? omg hii!!!

the leftovers asdkfasdf thats so funny

You know, i feel about Sam and Darlin the way i feel about a lot of Redacted's character, I think they're criminally underutilized and i love everything that they could have been. Redacted's characters often, in my opinion, start out really strong with a lot of potential, and then all that potential and personality fizzles out as they get into relationships/their stories start to move forward. Thats.... not how relationships work, but i guess that's what happens when you shelf plot for fluff so often. It's really quite sad.

We had Sam, who was this mysterious Solaire vampire with a country accent and he somehow knew healing magic good enough to save Lovely's life. We got some of that southern sass that i am so familiar with in the beginning of Darlin's videos, and then it slowly started to reveal a little bit of care. Their story was supposed to be a slow burn, but it wasn't. They got into a relationship alarmingly fast for a character who wanted to take things "slow, very slow." And then...... Sam's personality got fucking sapped out of him, or at least that's definitely what it felt like.

And Darlin started out so strong as well! This (also mysterious) estranged lone wolf from one of the most influential packs in the city out on a search for a rouge old blood vampire. They were stubborn and reckless and chasing after a convoluted dream of killing a vampire that was way too strong for them in an attempt to act selflessly and ended up putting their entire pack in danger. Aaaaaand then they got a "Love Conquers All ❤️" speech from their Alpha who they are incredibly distanced from and some southern vampire cock and BOOM! Personality gone.

It's such a shame how often Redacted does this to characters and plot lines, its like he's immune to writing a story and characters that don't pathetically skid to a halt and underwhelm you. It probably has something to do with the audience and the potential (very likely, very common) backlash he'd get if he actually wrote something with some stakes, which i have talked about a lot (the relationship between Erik and the fandom, there's posts about it linked in my pinned post about it, and also linked in an ask i just answered today)

Just another example of why oh why i so desperately hope everything comes crashing down as the resolution to the overarching plot of the channel.

I have other asks that i have to answer on which ill talk more specifically about the Quinn plot line on, so look out for those, i should be able to get to them today.

Anyways! As always, thank you for the ask!