#redacted mates

[tanky-baby]

i want a fic where the mates pass around a dog whistle during a pack meeting and watch as everyone else slowly thinks they're going insane

[neptunesgrl]

Things that my redacted favs do that are true because I said so

SWEETHEART, LASKO, GUY

SWEETHEART:

- Calls Milo angel in private, had a couple drinks and it ended up slipping out in front of the pack. David looked very confused for the rest of the night and proceeded to call SH in the middle of the night to say “what do you know”, “what did they (Angel) tell you”, etc. Angel found it incredibly amusing.

- Drinks scotch. Rarely, since it makes Milo uncomfortable. They had it in their apartment once and after they’d learned of his father’s struggle with it, they made sure to keep it out of sight when he came over. Hasn’t bought a bottle since they moved in.

- Reverse pick-pockets everyone. Hates when people make a big deal out of apologies or big emotional things. Their way to avoid it is to make silent apologies. Often but not limited to leaving a couple hundreds in their wallet, cause we all know SH makes bank.

- Nicknames for Milo include: Mi, angel (as previously mentioned), hun/honey, babe.

- Takes the NYT crossword incredibly seriously and looks forward to it more than they’d like to admit

- Raised in New England. Hopes to move back if they decide to have kids, that is until they gain their powers, and need to move back to Dahlia.

Side note: Their child listening to ‘California’ by Chappell Roan on full blast in their room and giving SH war flashbacks

- Has gained a slight NJ/NY accent from Milo. Slips out when they get mad. Specifically with the words: ‘jackass’, ‘told her (so i told ha)’, ‘off (awf)’, ‘call (just cawl me)’, etc.

LASKO:

- Constantly holding Dear’s hand. At first, it was difficult for him to initiate, but once he realized it was the least embarrassing thing he could ask for, it became habit. Sometimes Dear slides their thumb to his wrist to check his pulse when he’s nervous.

- (UNEMPOWERED AU) Dear is an EMT. Sirens used to startle and disturb Lasko, now he finds comfort in knowing Dear is getting to save people (corny and tooth rotting fluff ik)

- Once, Lasko wore Dear’s fleece that went with their uniform since they’d left it at his place and it was too cold to go out without one. It took him 10 minutes of pacing at the front door to go outside and grab the food he ordered. Just in case someone on the 2 second walk down there would need medical attention and thought he could help since he’d be wearing the EMT jacket.

- He owns every single PJO book and shamelessly reads them at least once a year. He’s in the Zeus cabin (obviously). Grover’s his favorite, because in his words, “he’s the only one worried about the logistics.”

- ‘Guilty as Sin?’ is THEIR SONG. I will not be taking any criticisms at this time or ever. It’s just the lyrics about feeling guilty for thinking about the other in that way. Like are you kidding me. ‘I’ve screamed his name, building up like waves’ DEAR WE KNOW ITS YOU IN THE WRITERS ROOM.

GUY:

(these are mostly fem leaning i am so sorry)

- Watched The Real Housewives. Insists Jersey is peak, Honey agrees. They take the finales very seriously. Honeys favorite is Margaret, Guys favorite is Melissa. He insists Honey and him are exactly like Joe and Melissa. I have RHONJ brainrot save me.

- Uses a sleep eye mask from dollar tree that says ‘nap queen’ on it. Found it in Honeys childhood bedroom.

- Raised in NYC (Brooklyn), insists he knows how to use the subway and always gets lost. Honey cracked the code within 2 days.

- Had headgear in high school. No further explanation. That’s it. That’s the HC.

- Child of…

🥁

🥁

🥁

dddiiivvvooorrrccceee!!!! i’m projecting He is so Chandler Bing coded don’t lie.

- Somewhere down the line, he’d like to write a book about him and Honey. Whether they work out or not. Very “You were a wonderful experience” / “You were…everything.” coded. Can you tell that not only am i awful at it, but I hate angst?

- Love letters EVERYWHERE. On dressers, in nightstand drawers, on the windshield of Honeys car, this man will find anywhere to put one of the many notes he has written gushing about his partner.

☕️📰🤍

This has been in my drafts for so long I feel emotional posting it. Please take good care of my baby.

[skunkox]

Sam Missing Out? Nah.

I like to think back that after their part in the Quinn situation was done in over with and vacations started with the pack. A beach day episode if you will.

Sam kicks Darlin' out of the room to hang with the pack boys and their mates. Darlin is upset about it most of the morning. Slowly through the day, they're enjoying themselves more at the beach.

But what about Sam? He's in a dark Hotel room finishing up work he couldn't have gotten done with Darlin to distract him. He's a little bummed and bored. The mates ain't having that.

They're sending pictures and videos in a 4-person group chat of Darlin going ham in volleyball, napping, and being an absolute menace. All without Darlin' realizing.

He doesn't respond to the text until he has the group in sight. A simple "Thank you." Is all he's able to send out before his name is getting called and he's being bombarded by Darlin and Asher to settle an argument.

Little note. The argument was over who would win in tug of war. David and Asher vs. Milo and Darlin.

I kinda wanna draw some of these out, but watch me have zero ambition to do so.

[frog-0n-a-l0g]

✨the Wild West🤠✨

Angel: guys

Angel: guys guys guys

Sh: omg no caps?

Sh: a momentous event

Babe: do I need to bring reinforcements?

Sam: oh lord I really hope this gc is calming down

Angel: only for this moment

Angel: me and Davey were having a movie night and Ik he’s had a hard time at work so I offered to massage his shoulders right?

Sam: mhm?

Angel: he’s now asleep in my lap hugging my waist and it’s the cutest shit ever

[angel has sent an attachment]

Sh: omg that is so cute

Sam: that giant terror of a man snuggles?

Angel: yes he does😌

Babe: only in private

Babe: the most I’ve seen in public is holding hands

Sh: lol Milo does that

Sh: I mean he’s affectionate in front of ppl tho

Sam: well shit

angel: look at my man’s

Angel: I love him sm

[crysoon]

poorly describing things in redacted: groups edition

shaw pack: giant polycule with subunit pairs

solaire clan: several bitchless ankle biters and vincent

damn squad: 4 losers and their living intrusive thoughts friend gavin

mates trio: evil third graders

wolf boys trio: david and his gay parole officers

vampire villains trio (quinn, adam, alexis): be crime, do gay

vamp trio (sam, vincent, lovely): babygirl whores

the main shaw pack fours (dav, ash, milo, darlin): first graders with access to free will (and david)

elementals: mental hospital patients candidates

daemons: six yrs olds with murderous tendencies and caelum

[claracatlady]

Ladies, gentleman and everyone in between, I am so happy to present to you @itsdaifuku Babe on their wedding day. They are beauty, they are grace, they have a whole lotta bows (couldn’t find a good rhyme, sue me). I was asked for bows, bows you shall receive. I was asked for lots of volume, volume is coming right up. I hope you all like it, because it drove me crazy and it better not be for nothing.

Tag list:

@sojutsu , @riverflowsanywherebuthere , @dormienschas , @mainhoesstuff , @darlin-collins , @angelcactus , @suniani , @verrverii , @ashtonsdrumstixs , @annahhopee , @teaseat , @lumpiya , @haradasaya , @shellssstuff , @miyowmiyow , @artbykays , @romirola ,

[definitelynuwonhere]

Mates Gc Conversations:

I found this in my notes, ima keep adding to it everytime the mood strikes for funsies

-Cowboy’s Coop- (The name prolly changes twice a week)

Chick 2/ Real Alpha 💪👑: “Guys mufasa died.”

Chick 1/ Queer B: “god save the king”

Chick 3/ Shit Sherlock: “It’s 9AM on a Wednesday why are you watching The Lion King”

Chick 2/ Real Alpha 💪👑: “BeCAUSE I CAN”

“Also don’t forget, gamenight @ our house this Friday”

Chick 1/ Queer B: “Woot woot”

Chick 3/ Shit Sherlock: “Aight”

Chick 2/ Real Alpha💪👑: “Now, where was I? Oh right. MUFASAAAA”

Chicken 3/ Shitlock: “I’m fucking muting this”

Chick 1/ Queer B: “Same”

Chick 2/ Real Alpha💪👑: “THE DISRESPECT”

-Minutes Later-

Mama Hen/ Cowboy🐎: “Pls wtf”

[pan-but-meh]

https://youtu.be/3co6AyS1OwM?si=E4L3bWM5Djmtedhe

Bachelor and bachelorette party, both at the club, this comes on, the pack knows the dance cause Darlin' taught them, Sam taught himself before he was turned, Angel taught themself cause they think everyone in that scene was just yes, Sweetheart just follows everyone else and does a good job and Baaaabe is fighting to keep up but they do, thank you good bye

[itsyourstarboy]

Angel has an engagement ring

Sweetheart has a promise ring

Babe has an engagement ring

And Darlin got that key ring 😎

[nerodivergentgrimreaper]

Babe and Angel are both very attracted to Tank and Sweetheart. 

Tank and Sweetheart know about this attraction and openly flirt with the mates just to mess with Asher and David.  

[0nceuponathrone]

The mates tm shirts (mild NSFW)

Angel

Baabe

Sweetheart

And Sam

[messenger-of-stupidity]

Soup is for nerds

WOW ITS BEEN SO LONG SINCE IVE DONE ONE OF THESE!!

Welcome back to the Shaw Pack Mates Super top secret and totally unknown by anyone outside of the group groupchat. (Name trademarked by Angel.)

Whether these are real conversations I’ve overheard/seen/partaken in or not is entirely unknown and shall stay that way.

CW: Crack, Angel needs to learn what boundaries are but not in a toxic way, Sam is asking for a god to save him he’s not picky on which god he’ll even rely on science it doesn’t even need to be religious, Sweetheart please for the love of the universe put the cat down, Baabe why are you just sitting there laughing?

Actual CW: Crack, mentions to others being sneaky link/hoes/sluts but in a friendly platonic way, GN listeners. Any reference to gendered terms is purely for the memes and not to be taken seriously.

<-- Previous _______ Next -->

Redacted Masterlist

Angel: im so disappointed in u all

Sam: Oh dear. What’s upset you now?

Angel: is that lip im hearing

Baabe: if my boss finds out im on my phone right now im so dead. so whats wrong bb?

Sweetheart: Tracking down a covert breaker. Cant talk rn.

Sam: Now I’m actually concerned. Is this genuine, or is Angel being Angel again?

Angel: not one of u said ‘congrats on ur nuptials’

Sam: I wasn’t aware anyone called marriage nuptials anymore, but also if I’m not mistaken you two have yet to have your wedding since you both are still planning it?

Baabe: CONGRATS ON YOUR NUPTIALS YOU SILLY GOOSE

Angel: this is why im marrying with baabe

Baabe: LETS GET DOWN TO BUSINESS

Angel: ooooooo teeaaaaa

Sweetheart: That’s what he said.

Sam: I think one day I will gather the strength to leave this groupchat.

Angel: oh ill just add u back and then kidnap u to drag u to my basement so u cant ever try to leave me again

Sam: Angel what the fuck.

Angel: HE DIDNT USE A COMMA IM THE REAL WINNER HERE

Baabe: to defeat the huns~

Angel: im so upset rn its not even funny like i cant live laugh love under these conditions

Baabe: aweeee what’s wrong bby?

Sam: Is there something I could do to help? I will if I can.

Angel: hang on i gotta wait for sweetheart to respond so i can get all the attention necessary

Sweetheart: Sorry I was just filming a tiktok with Aggro. Whats up

Angel: perfect all my three hoes are here

Sam: I resent being called that, but I also recognize my powerlessness in getting you to change it, so continue.

Angel: do yall even have any clue how expensive it is to buy a mcdonalds bouncy house

Sweetheart: Why are you trying to buy a bouncy house

Baabe: ngl i’m kinda curious about that too

Angel: well i could just buy it because ur bitch is rich rich but i share a joint account with my mega alpha gigachad of a finance so i cant buy it without him noticing but i wanna keep it a surprise so theres just a bouncy house in our backyard when he comes home

Sam: Don’t you mean your ‘fiance’?

Angel: no i mean finance im just with davey for his money but my real loves is my three hoes in this gc

Sweetheart: Youre so romantic Angel

Baabe: ikr? like just marry me already

Angel: anyways this is my way of asking u to buy me a bouncy house who wants the privilege

Angel: DONT JUST LEAVE ME ON READ YOU SLUTS

Angel: SOS

Baabe: whats wrong sneaky link?

Sam: Once again, I am confused whether or not this is a serious thing or Angel is playing up the dramatics again.

Sweetheart: I can send you a picture of my son if that will help

Angel: yes pls i miss my baby boy Angel: and also were out of sugary cereal and davey is making me eat his yucky worm food

Sweetheart: WHY DID YOU WRITE SOS? THIS IS A 911 EMERGENCY!

Baabe: dw bb i got u. just ask him why hes giving you his dog food.

Angel: oooo good idea hell take it away then and tell me to just starve and give me the chance to naruto run to sams house for breaky

Sam: Now hold on just a minute. I don’t recommend doing that Angel, also I don’t need to eat food and Darlin isn’t here for me to have any reason to make breakfast. I think you’ll survive a morning without your cereal.

Angel: YALL HE THREW A PLASTIC SPOON AT ME HALP

Baabe: MWAHAHAHAHHAHAHA

Sweetheart: rip

Angel: You’re next. - David

Baabe: oh fuck

Sweetheart: MWAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA

Sam: rip

[fleurlumii]

The ultimate Shaw Pack quartet

From left to right: Darlin, Sweetheart, Angel, Baaabe

[skunkox]

Cat Eye:

Baaabe & Sweetheart

Puppy Eye:

Darlin' & Angel

The dumb shit that sits on my brain for a month.

[frog-0n-a-l0g]

✨the Wild West🤠✨

Invisa-bitch: this bitch

Brokeback mountain: ?

Brokeback mountain: who?

Trainer: omfg lol I still can’t get over his name

Mini alpha👑: for once I’m staying on topic so SPILL

Mina alpha: I’ve been needing drama🙄

Invisa-bitch: Milo motherfucking greer

Mini alpha👑: and the plot thickens😎

Brokeback mountain: What did he do?

Trainer: that damn grammaticaly correct old man using punctuation and shit

Mini alpha👑: I can get David on his ass if you want!!!

Mini alpha👑: I mean he could get on mine iykwim~

Trainer: omfg🙄

Invisa-bitch: no it’s not like a pack thing he just…

Invisa-bitch: we were fucking around in the closet trying to get ready and he puts on my six inch stilettos and he is just fucking strutting and looking better than me in those heels and omg🙄

Invisa-bitch: like it’s not fair how can this already fine ass man rock my heels and not roll his ankle even ONCE?

Mini alpha👑: you seem a little jealoussssssss

Brokeback mountain: Why do y’all always act like there is a problem when it’s just some stupid things?

Invisa-bitch: THIS IS A PROBLEM HES GONNA START A REVOLT WITH THAT STRUT

Trainer: that’s true Sam get with the program🙄

Brokeback Mountain: I don’t know why I even try with you 3…

Mini alpha👑: 1. Sneaks send pics of him I need it on my wall for inspo

Mini alpha👑: 2.you gotta live with it Mr vamp it’s part of the mate club rules😌

Trainer: ash said when they were younger they’d do fashion shows and he used to steal Marie’s clothes and that’s why he’s so good in heels

Invisa-bitch: of fucking course he’s got practice🙄

[crysoon]

the wolf boys red strings board gets more enthralling every time i think about it because its actually crazy how asher and babe met in the classic elevator scenario and had a little cute reassurance moment while david threatened to shoot angel in the leg if they didnt answer why they ran into each other at a chipotle’s