#redacted mates group chat

[messenger-of-stupidity]

Soup is for nerds

WOW ITS BEEN SO LONG SINCE IVE DONE ONE OF THESE!!

Welcome back to the Shaw Pack Mates Super top secret and totally unknown by anyone outside of the group groupchat. (Name trademarked by Angel.)

Whether these are real conversations I’ve overheard/seen/partaken in or not is entirely unknown and shall stay that way.

CW: Crack, Angel needs to learn what boundaries are but not in a toxic way, Sam is asking for a god to save him he’s not picky on which god he’ll even rely on science it doesn’t even need to be religious, Sweetheart please for the love of the universe put the cat down, Baabe why are you just sitting there laughing?

Actual CW: Crack, mentions to others being sneaky link/hoes/sluts but in a friendly platonic way, GN listeners. Any reference to gendered terms is purely for the memes and not to be taken seriously.

<-- Previous _______ Next -->

Redacted Masterlist

Angel: im so disappointed in u all

Sam: Oh dear. What’s upset you now?

Angel: is that lip im hearing

Baabe: if my boss finds out im on my phone right now im so dead. so whats wrong bb?

Sweetheart: Tracking down a covert breaker. Cant talk rn.

Sam: Now I’m actually concerned. Is this genuine, or is Angel being Angel again?

Angel: not one of u said ‘congrats on ur nuptials’

Sam: I wasn’t aware anyone called marriage nuptials anymore, but also if I’m not mistaken you two have yet to have your wedding since you both are still planning it?

Baabe: CONGRATS ON YOUR NUPTIALS YOU SILLY GOOSE

Angel: this is why im marrying with baabe

Baabe: LETS GET DOWN TO BUSINESS

Angel: ooooooo teeaaaaa

Sweetheart: That’s what he said.

Sam: I think one day I will gather the strength to leave this groupchat.

Angel: oh ill just add u back and then kidnap u to drag u to my basement so u cant ever try to leave me again

Sam: Angel what the fuck.

Angel: HE DIDNT USE A COMMA IM THE REAL WINNER HERE

Baabe: to defeat the huns~

Angel: im so upset rn its not even funny like i cant live laugh love under these conditions

Baabe: aweeee what’s wrong bby?

Sam: Is there something I could do to help? I will if I can.

Angel: hang on i gotta wait for sweetheart to respond so i can get all the attention necessary

Sweetheart: Sorry I was just filming a tiktok with Aggro. Whats up

Angel: perfect all my three hoes are here

Sam: I resent being called that, but I also recognize my powerlessness in getting you to change it, so continue.

Angel: do yall even have any clue how expensive it is to buy a mcdonalds bouncy house

Sweetheart: Why are you trying to buy a bouncy house

Baabe: ngl i’m kinda curious about that too

Angel: well i could just buy it because ur bitch is rich rich but i share a joint account with my mega alpha gigachad of a finance so i cant buy it without him noticing but i wanna keep it a surprise so theres just a bouncy house in our backyard when he comes home

Sam: Don’t you mean your ‘fiance’?

Angel: no i mean finance im just with davey for his money but my real loves is my three hoes in this gc

Sweetheart: Youre so romantic Angel

Baabe: ikr? like just marry me already

Angel: anyways this is my way of asking u to buy me a bouncy house who wants the privilege

Angel: DONT JUST LEAVE ME ON READ YOU SLUTS

Angel: SOS

Baabe: whats wrong sneaky link?

Sam: Once again, I am confused whether or not this is a serious thing or Angel is playing up the dramatics again.

Sweetheart: I can send you a picture of my son if that will help

Angel: yes pls i miss my baby boy Angel: and also were out of sugary cereal and davey is making me eat his yucky worm food

Sweetheart: WHY DID YOU WRITE SOS? THIS IS A 911 EMERGENCY!

Baabe: dw bb i got u. just ask him why hes giving you his dog food.

Angel: oooo good idea hell take it away then and tell me to just starve and give me the chance to naruto run to sams house for breaky

Sam: Now hold on just a minute. I don’t recommend doing that Angel, also I don’t need to eat food and Darlin isn’t here for me to have any reason to make breakfast. I think you’ll survive a morning without your cereal.

Angel: YALL HE THREW A PLASTIC SPOON AT ME HALP

Baabe: MWAHAHAHAHHAHAHA

Sweetheart: rip

Angel: You’re next. - David

Baabe: oh fuck

Sweetheart: MWAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA

Sam: rip

[frog-0n-a-l0g]

✨the Wild West🤠✨

Angel: guys

Angel: guys guys guys

Sh: omg no caps?

Sh: a momentous event

Babe: do I need to bring reinforcements?

Sam: oh lord I really hope this gc is calming down

Angel: only for this moment

Angel: me and Davey were having a movie night and Ik he’s had a hard time at work so I offered to massage his shoulders right?

Sam: mhm?

Angel: he’s now asleep in my lap hugging my waist and it’s the cutest shit ever

[angel has sent an attachment]

Sh: omg that is so cute

Sam: that giant terror of a man snuggles?

Angel: yes he does😌

Babe: only in private

Babe: the most I’ve seen in public is holding hands

Sh: lol Milo does that

Sh: I mean he’s affectionate in front of ppl tho

Sam: well shit

angel: look at my man’s

Angel: I love him sm

[firetrucks-fastcars]

Pole Position (F1)

Summary: Charles gets on pole at Spa. The boys celebrate the best way they know how (Pairings: Max Verstappen/Daniel Ricciardo/Charles Leclerc/Lando Norris; Oscar Piastri/Logan Sargeant [background])

Read on ao3 here

Daniel barely restrained himself from cheering as he watched Charles cross the finish line and clock the second fastest time in Q3. He knew that standing in the Alpha Tauri garage, shoulder to shoulder with Yuki, was not the time to loudly celebrate his boyfriend’s success, but seeing him bounce back at a track he loved so much made Daniel want to jump around like a lunatic. He knew that due to Max’s grid penalty, Charles would be on pole Sunday. Lando had also managed to qualify P7, which wasn’t quite the achievement he’d had in Silverstone and at Hungaroring, but considering the floor damage done when he’d hit the gravel in Q1 it was an impressive feat. 

He could feel himself itching to get out of there as he made his rounds in the media pen, wanting to be with his boys to celebrate. His phone was buzzing in his pocket, no doubt texts from Max, who wasn’t in the media pen, but instead was waiting to participate in the post-qualifying press conference before he was finally allowed to go home. He could see Lando glancing at him occasionally, which made him think Max was also texting him. Eventually Daniel was able to excuse himself and pull his phone from his pocket as he huddled in a corner away from the media circus. Max had started a group chat with just him and Lando, and it seemed they were on the same wavelength.

Super Max: Come back to my room tonight. We’re celebrating Charles on pole

Muppet: Good. I have ideas

Apparently Lando had also escaped back to the comfort of his driver’s room and was able to text back.

Danny: Ooh do tell

Muppet: Redacted, redacted, redacted

Muppet: Sorry Danny, not safe for work

Danny: Guess I’ll find out myself tonight ;)

Super Max: Stop flirting please, I’m gonna vomit before the press conference

Muppet: Like we didn’t all see you giving Charles heart eyes when you got out of the car

Super Max: You saw nothing

Super Max: Gotta go, press conference is starting. Love you both, see you soon

Muppet: Love you <3

Danny: Love you too Maxy

Daniel waited at the back of the Mclaren motorhome for Lando to come out. He was sure his boyfriend was changing out of his race suit and fireproofs and also talking to Oscar before they went their separate ways. Sure enough, he heard Lando before he saw him, coming around the corner with Oscar not far behind. Their voices echoed back to Daniel as they walked, though they hadn’t seen him yet.

“What are your plans for tonight?” Oscar asked.

“We’re celebrating Charles being on pole,” Lando said, wiggling his eyebrows at his teammate.

“Gross mate. I’m not sure if that’s a euphemism or not but I don’t want to hear about you having sex with all three of your boyfriends.”

“Don’t pretend you aren’t on your way over to Williams. You’ll be in Logan’s room tonight helping him lick his wounds and we both know it. You’re just jealous I get laid three times more than you do.”

“Shut up Lando,” Oscar’s face went bright red at the mention of Logan. “Also how do you know about that?”

“Alex is the one that lets you in. He can’t keep a damn secret to save his life.”

Oscar groaned and looked up, blushing when he met Daniel’s eyes. “Oh hey Daniel.”

Oscar noticed him first, waving awkwardly, assuming Daniel had heard most of their conversation.

“Hi Oscar,” he greeted the younger Aussie. “Congrats on P5 mate, that’s awesome.”

“Oh thanks,” he said. “Shame about your lap time, I’m sorry man.”

“Eh,” Daniel shrugged. “Shit happens. I’m just proud of these guys.”

He pulled Lando into his side and pressed a quick kiss to his curls. Lando bumped his nose against his jaw before turning back to Oscar.

“I’ll see you tomorrow. Have fun with Logie bear.”

“I hate you,” Oscar said, flipping Lando the bird.

“Love you too Oscar.”

*****

Max and Charles arrived at the hotel an hour later than Daniel and Lando had. They were tired after the long day they had, but that didn’t stop Max from pushing Charles against the wall of the elevator and kissing him.

“What was that for?” Charles asked, slightly out of breath when Max pulled away.

“I’m just so fucking proud of you.”

“You’re not upset about the penalty?”

Max raised an eyebrow at him, “Schatje, do you really think a five place grid penalty is going to stop me?”

“No, I suppose not,” Charles laughed. “I’ll give you a good fight though.”

“I expect nothing less,” Max pressed a single quick kiss to his lips as the dinging sound signaled they had reached their floor and the doors slid open. Max led him down the hall to his room where Lando and Daniel were waiting for them. Max had said in the car on the way over that they had plans and Charles wasn’t getting his hopes up about what they were but he knew his boys probably had some ideas. 

As soon as the door opened he was all but tackled by Daniel who swung him into his arms and pressed kisses all over his face.

“Daniel,” he laughed, grabbing his face but making no move to push the older man away. “What are you doing?”

“Giving you love,” Daniel settled him back on his feet but didn’t let go. “We’re so proud of you baby. Pole position, that’s fucking incredible!”

Charles felt arms wrapping around his waist from behind and a cheek pressed between his shoulder blades. The curls tickling the back of his neck told him it was Lando.

“You did so well today Charlie.”

Charles reached an arm behind himself to fist in the fabric of the younger man’s hoodie and pull him close. 

“We have plans for you tonight,” Max said, pressing in from the side to get his hands on Charles. “We’re celebrating you schatje, whatever you want, you’ll get it.”

Lando pressed small kisses to the back of his neck and Charles had to take a deep breath to be able to concentrate. Daniel cupped his chin and tilted his face up so he was looking in his deep brown eyes. 

“Tell us what you want, baby.”

“I want You and Max to decide.”

“Yeah?” Max pressed a soft kiss to his jaw. “You want us to decide for you? You trust us to make sure you feel good?”

“Yes.”

“Sweet boy,” Daniel praised. “Tell me your colors.”

“Red to stop, yellow to slow down, green to keep going.”

“Good. Get undressed and get on the bed. Lando, you too.”

They both obeyed, pulling away from the other two to take off their clothes and discard them haphazardly around the room. They climbed on the bed together and Charles settled back against the pillows. Lando curled up against his side and kissed his neck softly, biting gently at the skin but taking care not to leave marks that wouldn’t be covered by his clothes. He could almost guarantee that his body would be covered in hidden hickey’s by the time the night was over. As if to prove his thoughts correct, Lando moved his head down to suck a mark on his pec, flicking his tongue against his nipple teasingly. Charles groaned and grabbed the back of Lando’s head, keeping him close.

“Lando baby,” Max called his name, distracting him. “Do you want to suck Charles off?”

“Yes please.”

“Go ahead.”

Lando reached up to give Charles one last kiss before moving down to where his cock was showing an interest in what was going on. Lando moved to take him into his mouth, but was stopped by Daniel.

“Nuh uh,” Daniel made a spinning motion with his finger. “Turn around, let Charles make you feel good too.”

Lando whined, scrambling to turn around and straddle Charles’s chest. He backed up slowly until his ass was at eye level with Charles, who immediately grabbed two handfuls of it, silently thankful for all of the extra training he had been doing lately. Once he was settled, Lando resumed his earlier goal and took Charles into his mouth, sucking lightly on the head and using his hand to hold the rest. He went slowly, almost teasing, knowing exactly how to drive Charles crazy. Daniel joined them on the bed, kneeling by Charles’s head and leaning down to talk quietly in his ear. 

“I want you to get Lando ready. Stretch him out on your tongue and your fingers yeah? Then he’s going to sit on your pretty cock while Max and I fuck you. Does that sound good sweetheart?”

“Yes,” Charles moaned.

“Good boy. Get to it.”

Charles did as he was told, grabbing Lando by his hips and pulling him back so he had better access. One of Daniel’s big hands grabbed one side of Lando’s ass, exposing his hole. Charles licked a wide stripe over it with the flat of his tongue, getting him wet. Lando moaned around his cock and pushed his hips back further.

Daniel tightened his grip,” Stay still Lando. Keep making Charles feel good and he’ll take care of you.”

Lando groaned again, the vibrations sending shivers up Charles’s spine, but otherwise stayed still. Charles continued to lick into him, getting him wet and relaxed before carefully rubbing one finger around his rim, testing the waters. His hand was stopped by Daniel, who produced lube seemingly out of thin air and coated two of his fingers in it. Charles massaged it between his fingers for a few seconds to warm it before slowly pushing on finger in. At the same time, Lando sank further down on his cock, one hand moving to gently cradle his balls as he bobbed his head up and down. 

“Fuck cheri,” Charles moaned, flopping his head back against the pillows. “That feels so good.”

Daniel stayed by his head, running his hands through his hair and whispering dirty things in his ear. 

“Does that feel good baby? Lando gives good head, doesn't he? You’re making him feel so good baby, he’s drooling for it. You’re such a sweet boy Charles, I’m so proud of you. We’re gonna make you feel so good tonight baby.”

His words made Charles whine, biting down on the back of Lando’s thigh, which made the younger boy whimper. 

“Are you getting close, baby?” Daniel asked. Charles nodded his assent and Daniel gave Max a look over Lando’s back. Max was somewhere by Charles hip, presumably making Lando just as turned on as Daniel had made him. Max grabbed Lando’s curls, tugging lightly to make him stop. 

“Charles is getting close schatje. We don’t want him to come before we get to the good part do we?”

“Nuh uh,” Lando wiped his mouth with the back of his hand and turned to look at Charles over his shoulder. “Was it good?”

“So good,” Charles praised, rubbing his hip. “You always do so well.”

Lando preened at the praise and maneuvered himself so that he was no longer straddling Charles, before leaning down to kiss him, obviously not caring about where Charles’s mouth had just been. 

“Lando, do you want to help me prep him?” Max asked. 

“What do I need to do?”

“Come here and I’ll show you.”

Lando joined Max at the end of the bed, eager to learn. Daniel kept his position by Charles's head but moved so that he could see his face and kiss him. 

“First get a pillow so we can prop his hips up,” Charles heard Max say. Daniel reached behind them and handed one to the younger boy, who passed it to Max. “Lift your hips for me liefde.”

Charles followed directions, planting his heels into the mattress and pushing himself up so that Max could slide the pillow beneath him. Daniel passed the lube down to them and Charles could hear Max giving Lando instructions. 

“He likes it when you tease a little,” Max said. “Use one finger without any lube and just rub him gently.”

Lando did as he was told and Charles whined against Daniel, pushing his ships down into the touch.

“Very good baby. Now get some lube and start with just one finger. He can take it.”

Charles heard the sound of the cap opening and closing and Daniel pulled him in for another kiss just as Lando breached him with one thin finger. They continued trading kisses as Max talked Lando through it, working him up to three fingers. 

By then, they weren’t really kissing, more like Charles breathing against Daniel’s mouth as Lando opened him up and praises flowed from Max’s lips. 

“You’re doing so well my loves. Making each other feel good. Such good boys.”

“Is he ready?” Lando asked when three fingers were moving easily and Charles was whining shamelessly. Max reached down, feeling where his hole was stretched around Lando’s fingers, making Charles moan and cum suddenly. It spurted against his belly and Daniel moaned into his hair.

“Fuck baby, look at you.”

“I think he’s ready. Be gentle,” Max told Lando as he helped him pull out. “He’s sensitive right after he cums.”

Lando crawled up Charles’s body, carefully avoiding his now sensitive cock that was still partially hard, to kiss him.

“That was so hot,” he whined, grinding his own leaking dick against Charles’s abs. 

“Do you still want us to fuck you sweetheart?” Daniel asked.

“Yes please. I want it.”

“Okay baby. Do you still want Lando to ride you? It’s okay if you don't, you can still make him feel good while we fuck you.”

“Sit on my face?” he asked Lando.

“Fuck yes.”

“Slow down for a minute,” Max laughed. “Let us get settled before you do that okay? Who do you want first, Charles?”

“Daniel.”

Daniel and Max traded places, swapping a few dirty kisses along the way. Daniel slicked up his cock, pushing into Charles gently, letting him get used to the stretch. He wasn’t massive, but he was bigger than Lando’s fingers and it burned a bit as he slowly bottomed out. Once Daniel was fully seated, Max helped Lando straddle Charles’s face. Charles grabbed his thighs and pulled him down so that he was seated properly. He began licking him open, his hole still tasted somewhat of the lube he had used on him earlier but he didn’t mind. Under that was a taste of soap and something that was distinctly Lando. Charles was silently grateful that Lando had taken care to wash well when he was in the shower earlier. Something told him they had planned this, all of them knowing how much Lando liked to be eaten out. 

Max had taken up Daniel’s role, laying next to Charles and whispering dirty things in his ear as he gently fisted his cock that was hard once again. 

“You’re so perfect schatje. So good for us, making all of us feel so good. I’m so proud of you Charles. You’re fucking amazing.”

Charles whimpered, before resuming eating Lando out with vigor. He wanted to make him feel good, wanted him to come just from Charles playing with him. 

“Fuck,” Daniel groaned. “Charles, baby, you feel so fucking good. I’m gonna cum baby.”

A few more thrusts and Daniel was cumming, filling Charles up. He continued to fuck him slowly through his orgasm, riding out the aftershocks before pulling out slowly. Charles clenched to keep his cum inside, which was one of the hottest things Daniel had ever seen. He expected Max to follow right behind Daniel and pick up where he left off, but was disappointed when Max stayed where he was.

“Max,” he cried out, pulling away from Lando enough that they could hear his voice. “Please.”

“Make Lando cum first. Don’t be greedy baby, he deserves to feel good too doesn’t he?”

“Yes,” Charles whined.

“Good boy. Take care of Lando then I’ll take care of you.”

That spurred Charles on, and he removed one of his hands from Lando’s tight, wiggling it between his chest and Lando’s ass to get fingers in him. It might have technically been cheating, but neither Max or Daniel said he couldn’t so he continued. It wasn’t the most comfortable and his wrist started to cramp fairly quickly but he didn’t care, working two fingers inside of him and moving them until he found his prostate. It only took a few sharp jabs to the bundle of nerves and a few licks where he was stretched around his fingers for Lando’s legs to shake and him to cum over the pillows behind Charles’s head. 

Daniel helped him off of Charles, holding him close to his chest and whispering praise in his ear as he came down from the high. He settled them down on the other side of the bed, close enough that Charles could still reach him if he stretched his arm out but far enough that they had space for Lando to sprawl out across Daniel’s lap and make himself comfortable. 

Finally, finally, Max positioned himself between Charles’s legs, slicking himself up with the lube and cum that was slowly starting to drip from him. He hooked one of Charles’s legs over his arm and pushed in, not stopping until he bottomed out. Charles came immediately, sensitive and worked up.

“Fuck,” Max groaned, pulling back before fucking back in slowly. “That was so hot. You’ve done so well for us tonight Charles. You’re perfect.”

“Fuck me please,” Charles whined, grabbing at Max’s shoulders to pull him in as closely as he could get him. 

“I will baby. I’m going to make you feel good because you deserve it. You’re done so well, and I’m so proud of you. We all are.”

Charles turned his head to look at Daniel and Lando. Daniel smiled at him and reached out to take his hand.

“I love you sweet boy. You’ve done so well, just a little more. Make Max feel good sweetheart.”

“Je vous aime.”

“I love you more.”

“I love you Charlie,” Lando whispered.

With a few more thrusts, Max was spilling inside him, pressing soft kisses over Charles’s face as he rode out his orgasm. He pulled out carefully, mindful of how sensitive he probably was after taking both of them and having two orgasms himself.

“I’ll take Lando next door to shower in my room,” Daniel said quietly, so as not to disturb the two boys currently feeling very fucked out and floaty. “You take care of Charles here yesh?”

“Of course.”

Daniel leaned over to kiss him and cradled the back of his head gently, “I love you Maxy. You did so well tonight too. You take care of our boys so well. I’m so proud of you.”

“I love you too Daniel.”

Daniel pressed another quick kiss to his lips and pulled away. He gathered Lando up and herded him through the door that attached his room to Max’s, silently praising whatever Red Bull executive thought that it would be a good idea. He stopped briefly to grab clothes for both of them before getting the younger boy into a steaming shower. 

Max gave Charles a few minutes to recover feeling in his legs, taking the time to get the hot water running and pick out comfortable clothes for both of them. Once he was steady enough to walk with minimal assistance, Max got him into the shower, pushing him under the spray so he could wash his hair. They took their time, holding each other in the steam, trading soft kisses back and forth until they got tired of standing. Once they were dressed and had their teeth brushed, they made their way back into the bedroom, where Lando and Daniel were already snuggled up in bed. They had stripped the dirty sheets and replaced them with the ones from Daniel’s room, since they wouldn’t be using them anyway and housekeeping would come to change them in the morning. Daniel was laying on his back, scrolling on his phone with Lando mostly on top of him, the younger man drifting in and out of sleep. Max pushed Charles into the middle, where Lando moved himself partially off of Daniel to snuggle into Charles more. Max hugged him from behind, sliding one hand under his t-shirt to rub gently across his chest and stomach.

“Did you enjoy your night schatje?” he asked quietly so as not to disturb Lando, who was snoring softly now that they were all in bed, and Daniel who was well on his way to being asleep as well. 

“Very much.”

“Good. I am very proud of you Charles.”

“I know Maxy. Thank you for showing me that, but I am tired. Sleep now.”

“Of course. Goodnight Charles.”

“Goodnight cheri.”

*****

Lando woke a few hours later, warm and comfortable in Daniel’s arms with his head on Charles’s chest. He laid there for a while, hoping he would drift back to sleep. However, that was not the case. So he wiggled around, being careful not to wake his partners until he could reach his phone where it had fallen between himself and Daniel.

He scrolled through his chat notifications, responding to an offer from Carlos to play a few rounds of golf when they arrived back in Monaco before leaving on their holidays. As he clicked out of his chat with Carlos, preparing to put his phone down and go to sleep, he noticed the green icon by Oscar’s name, indicating that he was active. He acted on a whim and shot off a quick text.

LN4: Must have been a pretty good night if you’re still awake (wink, wink)

Oscar read it almost immediately and began typing, the gray dots appearing on his screen before disappearing again. Just when he was about to put his phone down, a message appeared from Oscar that made him want to laugh and coo at the same time.

It was a photo of Oscar in a hotel bed that looked very similar to the one Lando was currently occupying. Except Oscar wasn’t alone, instead Logan Sargeant was curled up against his side, hair a mess, sticking his tongue out at the camera while Oscar laughed.

OP81: Pretty damn good

Lando smiled to himself and snapped a quick photo of his own. It was hard to get them all in it at this angle but he managed to catch where Daniel was drooling into the pillow and Max’s face squished against the back of Charles’s neck. He sent it off to Oscar with a short caption underneath.LN4: Yeah us too

[piffany666]

Random but specific headcanons about my redacted listener oc's part 1: angel

DISCLAIMER: these are headcanons for MY ocs it's totally ok for you to disagree with any of them and have your own opinion but these are just my ocs

• angle is their real name which is why David has multiple nicknames for them •she/they pronouns

• has dated women before but identifies as "bi curious"

• babe and angle's realationship can be best described as penny and Bernadette from big bang theory

• cottage core aesthetic

• do not be fooled by this they have a dirty mind

• they see tank as their child (mainly because they accidentally called David "dad" once and then got promptly adopted by angle)

• they were never really scared of any of the boys when she found out about them being wearwolfs

• HOWEVER they were mildly scared of sweetheart when they first met but now they besties

• the mates group chat was their idea

• they made 2 group chats, one for the mates and tank and the other just for the mates (eg. Angle, babe, sweetheart and Sam)

(I'll probably add to this later)

[mar-the-magician]

#No but I need this to be real #Sam saying y'all is immaculate #Sweetheart is still my favorite tho

idk why i made this. but sam being added to the mates gc

[ephxmerrxl]

the mates gc when anything slightly funny happens throughout the day

[asmrtist-brainrot]

Lines from my WIPs

Because why not, y’all deserve a little sneak peek.

~ Dari

Seth & Boo Comfort -

Your hands, delicate yet calloused, warm the sides of his face. Thumbs wiping his eyes and stroking his sweat matted hair from his brow.

So caring.

So welcoming.

The well in his throat comes out in another cry.

More Soft Villain! Husband -

Taking in your warmly smiling face, radiant and bright even under dim candle light. Delicate fingers curl against your mouth, trying to hide how utterly pleased you were at his state of expression.

Jealous! Auron - 

Quietly, you took them, the soft colors accentuating almost everything about you. They suit you so incredibly well, it fed the growing bubbles of envy curling deep in his gut. He can feel his jaw tick.

Cheeky’s Rough Sleep -

You didn't look up, quietly continuing, "I couldn't sleep."

Lie.

The dark circles ringing your sleepy eyes meant that you would have just fell over if you wanted to, exhaustion sweeping like a wave off of your skin.

David visiting Angel at the Office -

You almost grin, but didn't want to embarrass him more - seeing the flushed tinge at the tops of his ears. Happily, you leaned up and pressed a kiss to his lips, fingers gripping at the lapels of his leather jacket. He hummed lowly, leaning down just the slightest bit.

Vindemiator + Freelancer Pt. 2 -

The light taps of your feet were almost noiseless and he is about to look more into that before your arms swing around him. Vindemiator lets out a little grunt but laughs when you squeeze him in a hug that has him relaxing into the gentle yet firm hold.

Concepts that are being Planned:

Jealous! V

What if David & Angel were Boo’s(YuuriVoice) Parents?

Redacted Characters with Dragonball Z Abridged Quotes

Wolf Pack Mates’ Group Chat Shenanigans 

[mingain]

Redacted ASMR Incorrect Quotes... it’s time.

Babe to Angel: If we made a joint YouTube channel, we would just be Unus Annus reskinned. Angel: ...Yes Sweetheart: Can I be jacksepticeye and drop in every once in a while? David: -_- Asher: ^u^ Milo: O_O?

-------------------------

Angel, tired from a long day at work: Kill me. Quinn, from behind a nearby tree: That can be arrainged.

-------------------------

Angel: I think I should go to a chiropractor. Asher: What’s a chiropractor? Angel: My bones go clicky clicky, chiropractor makes my bones go CRACK! David: ... Angel, what the actual fu-

-------------------------

Lovely: *Singing Single Ladies* Vincent: I don’t know how to feel about this.

-------------------------

Sam, walking into his home: Hello? Angel, Babe and Sweetheart: Allow us to introduce ourselves.

-------------------------

On the mates group chat

Sweetheart added Sam Angel changed Sam’s name to Southern Tank Driver

Babe: Well, hello there.

-------------------------

Asher: Duck... duck... goose! Tank: Oh, please. Not even I’m that childish. Asher, grow up and play Wolf, Wolf, Vampire. David: *Dies inside*

-------------------------

Angel: MIRACULOUS! Babe: SIMPLY THE BEST! Sweetheart: UP TO THE TEST WHEN THINGS GO WRONG! Tank: MIRACULOUS! Lovely: THE LUCKIEST! David, Sam and Milo: -_- Asher and Vincent: THE POWER OF LOVE ALWAYS SO STRONG!

-------------------------

David: I should have left you on that street corner where you were standing. Angel and Asher, simultaneously: But you didn’t

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Angel: Hi... David: Hello? Angel: ... My name is Chelsea, what’s your favorite dinner food?

-------------------------

Vincent: Lovely, you seem to use humor to deflect you trama. Lovely: And? You became a flirt to deflect yours.

-------------------------

Angel: Ok, ok, ok, hear me out... *mind goes blank* Asher, Babe, Sweetheart and Milo: *Waiting patiently* David: Angel? You ok? Angel: ... cum.

-------------------------

Lovely: Sam, tell Vincent that I’m mad at him. Sam: You’re literally sitting in his lap. Lovely: Your point?

[lockdownuk]

Lockdown Diary Part 1

A personal account during the lockdown in the UK due to the Covid-19 outbreak.

23/03/2020 8:30pm Boris Johnson, UK Prime Minister, gives a live address to the nation to, effectively, put the country on lockdown to stem the spread of the deadly coronavirus strain, Covid-19.

Many of us have been self-isolating for days but this latest development within the UK in reaction to the pandemic feels very serious and very scary. I decided to keep a simple diary and where better but online.

Day 1: Last night Boris called it, today we’re doing it. I had started working from home (wfh) yesterday as had most people at my work (RCI)..last week I had been preparing laptops as fast as poss for everyone. Even just today, the idea of going into work seems alien and dangerous. Now lockdown (ld) means that it would soon be illegal to do so unless utterly necessary.

Online, FaceBook (fb) especially, is awash with reaction…a lot of calling out people who are out and about in greater numbers than 2, which is against ld rules.

Day 2: Just trying to let work occupy my thoughts and time which is easy enough ‘cos everyone I support (IT engineer) is new to wfh and is having teething problems with all the new laptops. Meanwhile, I keep abreast of comings and goings online…actually socially interacting more than I might otherwise, weirdly

Day 3: Highlight of the day is an online quiz organised by a chap called Jay Flynn on fb…a bunch of us took it as individuals while chatting on Messenger while Jay streamed quiz over fb live and YouTube. It was a good crack and I had two cans of Coors Light which got me pissed!

Day 4: Work is still mad - so many people with IT issues wfh…it’s challenging trying resolve all these probelms remotely but I am rising to it. I actually enjoy it. It satisfies my want for problem-solving.

The ld is in full swing but it’s very early days. The news is dominated, obviously, by Covid-19 and the ever changing stats of infections and deaths. Today, for example, the USA took over, from China, as the country with the most infections. I know there will be an end to all this and I am determined to be there, going out, getting pissed down the pub, gigging, shaking hands with my mates, hugging anyone and everyone who’ll let me - it’ll be a proper party. But I am filled with a dread that it’s going to be a fucking long time coming.

This evening was spent virtually with Foggy, Ham and Andy P…doing a quiz - a rehearsal for Foggy in the hope of doing one to a wider audience next week. It was good fun and great to have a few beers chatting with everyone, Later I video called Fog and we drank ‘til gone midnight, putting the world to rights. I was well pissed.

Day 5: First non-work day of the ld. Housework, daily walk, out for supplies (drop a script order off…queuing outside boots for 15 minues!, bread, baccy and booze). This evening, I’m listening to the next album in NME list of 1985 albums I’m working through - Grace Jones Slave to the Rhythm…fucking pain in the arse ‘cos it’s not on Spotify so I am searching for each song, in order, on YouTube. Plus eating and drinking, of course. Quick video chat with karen and Grace, Dan in the background. I wanted a tin of kidney beans for chilli but Karen hasn’t got one ffs. Burger it is. They are all playing scrabble - I’d love to join in…

Day 6: A quiet day…housework, cooking, daily walk. Highlight was a half hour chinwag with dad who, as I would expect, despite his 84 years, is coping and doing just fine. Most other people with a dad that age would have, on top of their own concerns, something more to worry about during this crisis….for me, it feels like I’ve got someone to turn to, should I need to.

Day 7: Work is starting to feel more routine but it’s a long way off being in the office, which is never routine anyway. That may seem surprising since I do IT support but it’s a varied role, especially at the modern dinosaur of an organisation that is RCI. I try to be as disciplined as possible but I miss not dressing for work, not driving to work, not needing to actually prepare lunch (until lunchtime). I don’t actually need to shower every morning. I don’t think I have to ordinarily but do because I’m mixing with others in the office. I certainly don;t need to now. I only mix with me, so showering becomes a chore but I’m doing it every other morning in the name of the aforementioned discipline. I am worried how long RCI can keep going before laying staff off. I dread being out of work full stop, let alone during this ld, or even thereafter. I think the economies of the world will need time to recover so finding work will be tough à la 2008. I think, if lay-offs were to occur, I’d be in real danger. Last in first out and all that. But, I’ll cross that bridge if and when I come to it.

Day 8: At work there was a large online meeting whereby the MD told us that RCI are going to furlough some staff. The UK, and Ireland staff will be consulted this coming Thursday and Friday (it’s Tuesday today). I shall be reading up on what the furlough arrangements are in the UK due to Covid-19. I know the government have set aside some money, I need to know what I might get paid and how to claim it. In the past, when I’ve been out of work, I’ve been entitled to jack shit other than JSA, This time around, should I be laid off as I expect, I might not have to eat into my savings, fingers crossed. Meanwhile, I have decided to knock up another blog with a photo of myself each day of the ld (from now on) - it’s a sister to this diary.

Day 9: Actually typing this on day 10. Yesterday was a strange day as I contemplate being furloughed (hope for the best, expect the worst)…I’d be paid 80% of my wage according to what the government have said to assist in the Covid-19 crisis…so, were that to be true, I’d be OK money-wise, although still earning way less than I want to prepared for retirement (I am currently still waiting for feedback on a pay increase request I put in at work last year!) I’m more worried about how I would fill my day if I wasn’t working. So, that being said, I flopped and moped about all yesterday evening after my daily walk and, without achieving much at all, didn’t find time to write this entry on the right day…so maybe I can fill my days without much effort!

Day 10: I was furloughed today, starting 5pm tomorrow (Friday 3rd April) and it’s fucked me off. I know it’s not personal but, actually, do I? They’re cutting back the Kettering Desktop team by one, redacted It seems obvious to do this by the ‘last in, first out’ maxim but what about money? others are on more than me (redacted). What about offering it voluntarily - others might go for 80% pay for fuck all - others have family at home to occupy the day  (redacted) . A little bit of me thinks it might be preferable furlough me  (redacted) …others seems to be a favourite and that annoys me. It annoys me because I think I shoot myself in the foot too often. I’m too vocal about some of the (redacted) decisions and practices at work, plus other reasons that I know but can’t be bothered to type. But, my point, is I don’t play the politically correct, corporate game and therefore forget to look out for my own best interests. FUCK.

So, as of tomorrrow evening, I’ve no work to do. The challenge will be to find a way to occupy my day. I’ve already registered to volunteer for the NHS during the ld…let’s see what becomes of that. And I’ve signed up for web development course. I’m going to get fucking pissed this w/e, starting early tomorrow evening.

Day 11: It’s day 12 as I am writing this entry…that might tell any reader, and remind me, that I did as I promised and got pretty drunk. I spent the day geting my work affairs in order i.e. clearing down support tickets assigned to me. I did a good job, nothing left to handover to the remaining team (Jim, Cristina and Mark) and onky one ticket put into the assigned pool. Some nice converstaions were had with associates, many of whom are, too, being furloughed. Nice words were said and Jim and Mark both were supportive in conversations and messages - they both know I don’t wnat this and, I think, they are both relieved it’s not happening to them. 5 pm arrives and I shutdown my work laptop for the last time for at least 12 weeks. After my daily walk, I video chat with Karen, crack open a beer, make Chinese chicken curry (fucking loads, fucking tasty), finish watching The National Theatre stream of One Man, Two Guvnors (really good, see twoinchreview) and the caught up with, and talked bollocks with Andy, Marc and Ham - we tried getting Rog in on it, no dice. I then watched The Heat (I fucking love that film), ate some more, smoked several single-skinners, drank, in total, three cans, seven bottles. I went to bed shortly after 4am. I felt resigned to my furlough and pleasantly wasted.

Day 12: A subdued day…didn’t wake until gone 1:30pm. Jaded but not really suffering. Mooched about, social media, listening to music, watching telly, farting about on the iPad. My daily walk, over the last fews days, has taken a twist…I am trying to run parts of it. Mainly short distances, 80-100m (I estimate) three, maybe four times. It’s fucking knackering me out. I used to run everywhere when I was a teen. Attempting to run now just makes me feel fucking old. Well, I am, so that’s about right.

Day 13: Another day like yesterday except I got up at 10:30 and didn’t feel jaded. The subdued feeling comes from the realsiation that the ld isn’t being treated as seriously as it should be across the board. The news and even posts by locals on FB (Oundle chatter group) suggest groups still meeting up. The weather this w/e has been a factor - 17°c today. I think a total ld will be enforced soon and that would fuck me off. My daily walk is pretty essential for me nowadays not least for the ‘good for your soul’ benefits that dad has always mentioned. Even today’s walk saw a car parked at the gates to the field on the way to Ashton and people on a blanket soaking up the sun, dogs off their leads and people (looked like a family) playing footy on South Road field. Individually they are not presenting any danger, what with the fact they are either living together or far away from others. But they are flaunting the rules and the more that happens the less likely they’ll carry on getting away with it, which will mean total ld for all! I finished the 50 1985 albums today. It mostly confirms to me that I only listened to two albums released that year (Kate Bush, The Waterboys) any other vinyl I spun would have already been in my collection pre-85.

The sausage casserole I made for tea was fucking lush - 4 birdeye chillies. I saw and spoke with Dan and Grace this morning, they were just coming back from a walk. I am pleased to fuck they are together and sorted out the issues they had earlier this year.

Day 14: My first day proper of furlough. Finished my two inch review of the NME 50 albums. Long chat with Rita, quick one with dad. Messaged Sam about Romiley’s present - she’s 10 on the 9th April (Thursday) - ordered some Lego thing from Amazon. Turned the car engine over (reminded myself the driver-side wing mirror is fucked) and moved it to another spot in the Co-op car park - bumped into Matt T. He’s struggling - no work coming in and he can’t claim any of the money on offer ‘cos he’s not being totally honest about his circumstances - made me realise I’m not that bad off…..but I feel depressed about it all, especially with the news that Boris has gone into intensive care.

Day 15: I began a diploma (?) course on web design with Shaw Academy (it was free). They have actual classes (which are recorded) which you schedule yourself. The first one was, I have to say, really interesting - I look forward to continuing. On my walk today, I saw a car parked at the gate to the field at the bottom of Riverside Close; it was branded with Cunninghams Estate Agent with a 01536 number. I am pretty sure I saw the driver walking her dog (unleashed) on the field. I took a photo and rang the number. Yes, I ratted the culprit out…fucking annoys me that I had to. Better than reporting to the police, all round. Hopefully her work will put a stop to her doing it and, the more people that adhere to the rules without the police getting wind of infractions, the more likely we’ll be able to continue to exercise away from home.

Day16: More online learning including checking out other sites (pluralsight) for more learning opportunities. Coded my first web page, basic but mine, in HTML and CSS. A few beers & smokes and watching White Boy Rick in the evening, interspersed with the usual social media / messaging shit, incuding this entry, of course!

Day 17: Typing this on Day 18. After a few beers last night while chatting with Fog (twice - the first chat ended with him ‘having’ to go to bed. Later, I noticed he was commenting on FB, so I video called him…round two of chatting!). I got quite fucking pissed. Bed around 4am.

Day18: Up at 1pm. Long walk today, 7 km. Anything over 40 minutes, I’ve realised, results in a hypo.

Day19: Well, having gone to bed at gone 5am I got up at nearly 1pm feeling far better than I should have. Breakfast followed by a walk, spoke with Karen (mowing her front lawn) and Dan. He and Grace have split up which is sad news but he seems OK. Went shopping (milk and sweets) and ended up with a shit load of booze, the post of which on FB was quite amusing. Homemade burgers for tea (they’re in the fridge as I type) - gonna try and make Five Guys…

Day20: The Five Guys burger attempt didn’t go as well as I wanted. I think less than 5% fat mince just doesn’t bind that well. However, I managed to get something resembling a burger into the bun and, with cheese, hot sauce and jalapeños, it was tasty enough. More of the same when I finish typing this entry. Strange Easter Day today, as I knew it would be. The best thing I saw today was a video Tom posted on FB of him and Molly doing a mashup of Starsailor and George Michael - Tom on guitar singing the former, Molly singing the latter. It was fucking fantatstic.

Day 21: Easter Monday. Surreal…it’s feeling very surreal now, this lockdown.

Two things that bother me right now:

i) The political point scoring on FB. I get it, I really do…people like to bring up ‘obvious’ failings in the party’s mistakes. For example, Marc posting comparisons between UK and Germany’s figures of cases and deaths due to Covid-19. I doesn’t make impressive reading for the government and it should be held accountable. But not fucking now!

ii) Will they introduce rotational furloughing at RCI? It’s only been a week, 11 to go. And, it bothers me that I was furloughed rather than Mark. Pathetic of me, I know! But, should it last the 12 week stretch, I want to go back to work and let someone else have the chance to have fuck all to do all day! That being said, I’m still learning web design through Shaw Academy. Even today, bank holiday, I revised Lesson 2.

Day22: Nice catchup with Dad today - he and Rita seem to be more than OK with lockdown. I actually cannot wait until we can meet up at The Farmers again!

Day 23: While I had a Corvee engineer come to the house today to do a gas safety check (I waited upstairs while he was here, self-isolation and all that), and had the fourth online web design lesson, had a trip to Boots to pick up insulin, got milk from Tesco’s, saw American Rachel and had a chat (while we both queued to get into Tesco’s) and had a very nice walk along a different route from the norm, in the pleasant sunshine and watched Contagion on Netflix - all today - I AM STILL BORED AS FUCK!

Day 24: I had plans for today - revise the last two lessons of Shaw Academy’s web design course, investigate a ethical hacking course, do some washing, clean upstairs (or at least the bathroom) plus all the usual stuff. Then, as a reward, have some beers. Well, guess what. I am not having beers this evening. I managed the laundry. Plus I manged to subtitle my YouTube perfect snabby video (something I have been meaning to do for a while, but, come on!) It took me fucking ages. But it is funny! So, a fucking far from fruitful day. Plus the government announced at least 3 more weeks of lockdown. There’ll be loads more, I reckon. Tomorrow…I promise I’ll be better tomorrow…

Day 25: I did do better! Firstly the Corveee man fucked the boiler which I only noticed late yesterday but still managed to get sorted today. I did some excellent revision and learning of HTML (tags) and CSS. I cleaned the bathroom and hall. And I discovered TikTok (fucking excellent dancing and funny vids) plus discovered a new FaceBook word game (Sam sent me an invite) called WordBlitz and I am pretty good. Having beers now (nearly 11pm).

Day 26: Today I found myself calling 111. I had a pain in my side last night, I thought it might be constipation! That not being the case (!), today I went to 111.nhs.uk and, following their questions, it recommended I seek out a GP straightaway. Once I let the website know that is not possible, it directed me to visit walk in centres. I spoke with Karen thereafter - for advice about whether it’s a good idea to enter such an establishment - I really don’t want to increase me chances of catching the Covid-19 virus. Karen recommended ringing 111 since the website does not take into account my diabetes (so bloody sensible a suggestion!)

After ringing and answering many questions, the lady said she’d get an OOHS GP to call. The doctor called soon after and it seems most likely I have a grumbling appendix (chronic appendicitis) and to ring again (well, 999) if the pain becomes unbearable.

I now have a bag at the ready for hospital which I really hope I don’t have to use. Today, I  have, therefore, done fuck all - not even a walk - but I am having a beer now (midnight) and shall attempt to sleep as well as possible and hope this pain subsides naturally…

It occurs to me that I turn to Karen when things become flumoxing - my excuse, this time, is she works at the surgery but that was mere convenience.

Day 27: My ‘appendicitis pain was the same when I woke up (10:20) but no worse. I managed to change bed clothes and clean my bedroom but didn’t risk a walk (in case something drastic happens when I’m in a fucking field).

People’s responses and questions online have been heartening (Rachel Harris, Susie Grange, Bethan, Jo, Tracey Weber, Debbie De Prisco and, not least Dan). As the day progresses, I feel better but not right. I spoke with Dad about it and, as I told him, I shall ring Oundle GP tomorrow. Meanwhile, I did Sam Clew’s FB Live quiz, which was good, and am now having a beer or two.

Day 28: The pain in my side has definitley diminished. I called the Oundle surgery today to talk about what treatment I should have for ‘grumbling appendicitis’. The reseptionist organised a call back from a GP - Dr. Cash. Basically, he said he didn’t believe the condition existed, that acute appendicitis doesn’t happen after the age of 35, and ‘his gut felling’ is it will all just clear up.

I shall seek a more sensible diagnosis after lockdown and hope it doesn’t flare up again before then.

Day 29: I sent an email to the team at work today (Jim, Mark, Cristina and Sueanne). I hadn’t heard from them and I wanted to check in and, also, make a point that I will be posing the ‘rotational furlough’ question to HR at some point. It was as I wrote the email that I realised it’s only been two weeks and two days of furlough, and that includes Easter! Seems so much fucking longer. Anyway, everyone replied and it was good to hear from them….Mark came off his bike and broke ribs and collarbone! Lesson 5 of the Web Design course with Shaw Academy. It’s becoming apparent that, if you don’t pay for the course ‘toolkit’ it’s all rather patchy! The instructor dives into lines of code (HTML, CSS and Java) with no explanation….I feel like I did on the ifrst lesson of further maths ate Stamford School! I shall soldier on and beef up the missing parts with W3Schools (a great website and learning aid for coding). Two quick points. I am no longer running any part of my daily walk; hurts too much. I am addicted to Wordblitz and TikTok. Day30: I am writing this on day 31, I just forgot yesterday! It was a non eventful day. I did watch Midnight Run (again!) and had a couple of midweek beers though.

[messenger-of-stupidity]

I’m gonna build an army.

ANYWAYS

WHO WANTS ANOTHER PACK MATES GROUP CHAT POST THING? IM BORED AS HELL BUT I WANNA MAKE CONTENT PEOPLE ARE ACTUALLY INTERESTED IN

-no this isnt you signing up for me to tag you in all the pack mates group chat posts i make. if u want me to u gonna have to say-

[frog-0n-a-l0g]

✨the Wild West🤠✨

Invisa-bitch: this bitch

Brokeback mountain: ?

Brokeback mountain: who?

Trainer: omfg lol I still can’t get over his name

Mini alpha👑: for once I’m staying on topic so SPILL

Mina alpha: I’ve been needing drama🙄

Invisa-bitch: Milo motherfucking greer

Mini alpha👑: and the plot thickens😎

Brokeback mountain: What did he do?

Trainer: that damn grammaticaly correct old man using punctuation and shit

Mini alpha👑: I can get David on his ass if you want!!!

Mini alpha👑: I mean he could get on mine iykwim~

Trainer: omfg🙄

Invisa-bitch: no it’s not like a pack thing he just…

Invisa-bitch: we were fucking around in the closet trying to get ready and he puts on my six inch stilettos and he is just fucking strutting and looking better than me in those heels and omg🙄

Invisa-bitch: like it’s not fair how can this already fine ass man rock my heels and not roll his ankle even ONCE?

Mini alpha👑: you seem a little jealoussssssss

Brokeback mountain: Why do y’all always act like there is a problem when it’s just some stupid things?

Invisa-bitch: THIS IS A PROBLEM HES GONNA START A REVOLT WITH THAT STRUT

Trainer: that’s true Sam get with the program🙄

Brokeback Mountain: I don’t know why I even try with you 3…

Mini alpha👑: 1. Sneaks send pics of him I need it on my wall for inspo

Mini alpha👑: 2.you gotta live with it Mr vamp it’s part of the mate club rules😌

Trainer: ash said when they were younger they’d do fashion shows and he used to steal Marie’s clothes and that’s why he’s so good in heels

Invisa-bitch: of fucking course he’s got practice🙄

[lunnule]

this is a letter to the little psychoanalyst in my brain:

hello,

do you not like, want to take a holiday or something? i know you're trying to keep me safe by observing everything i do and working out patterns so i can know as much as possible about myself and others and never be caught off guard and everything, but honestly? i'm tired of being watched all the time. i just want to exist. have a spontaneous reaction and it not have to mean anything at all. be pissed off that this zoe person was unnecessarily passive aggressive in the group chat and not have to be told that i'm unjustly criticising someone for how they express their feelings. feel uncharacteristically horny this week and not have to wonder if this has anything to do with [redacted]. feel overstimulated and understimulated at the same time and for that to just be what today is like. i just want to be.

so please, i am okay. i will continue to be okay even when not monitoring every thought. go take a break.

cause i sure as fuck need one.

cheers mate,

-m.

[twistingbeechnation]

Festigirl

By Louise Fischer

2.2. Written testimony of Eleanor Parkinson, festivalgoer, believed to have met – and escaped – an encounter with the dancing girl in 2015.

It was actually months later when I realised that she hadn’t come along with any of our group. We were sitting in the pub, reminiscing about the festival, when my friend Charlie started interrogating me about disappearing with her all weekend. Long story short, I thought she’d come as a friend of his mate Lucy, but Charlie swore she hadn’t come with any of his lot. Then we started asking everyone with us at the pub, and on the group chat, and it turned out no one knew her from before the festival. That’s when we set up the Facebook page trying to find her. We were a bit drunk, hence the title. [Note for reader: the page was called ‘WHO IS SHE??? FUN DANCING GIRL AT *redacted* FESTIVAL’].

And I guess that’s how you guys found me. I’m happy to write everything I remember about her, but I do wonder a bit if you might be barking up the wrong tree here. She was lovely. I can’t imagine her hurting anyone. Bit intense, maybe… but anyway. That’s up to you.

Keep reading on our blog >

[markjeffersonshipsterglasses]

A letter to my ex friend.

Hey, REDACTED. Do you remember how we first met? I was so shy, but your voice was like a breath of fresh air in the group of people we were in... social situations can be overwhelming and stiffing to me. You helped a lot with that.

I had never met anyone like you before. You made me comfortable. You made me laugh to tears, you made me happier and funnier with your presence and sense of humor. You were there for me and I loved you for it. You were understanding and I loved you for it. You were funny, smart, likable, kind, and every time we hung out and chatted- it meant the world to me.

When you stood next to me I felt amazing and invincible because of how confident in myself you made me feel. It was like we were two identical flames who saw no need to compete but to compliment each other. Burning brighter together.

You made me feel special, smart, validated and loved.

We had an unspoken bond where we just knew what the other was thinking and what we were gonna say.

I find myself asking what did I do wrong.

Why isn't my friend talking to me?

Have I messed things up?

I would want to know what I did, for personal growth reasons. I want to do better. I don't know what it is, maybe you need an apology from me? So this is as best as I can do from where I stand in a position of ignorance. [The real meaning of the word, unlike how we used it all those times in irony]

I'm sorry if I wasn't there for you, if I couldn't do enough or didn't do enough. I'm sorry if i made you feel a certain way, and know that I didn't mean to and I'd give up a lot to change whatever I did that was so wrong in your eyes.

Last night I saw you in the chat room with THREE NAMES REDACTED just hanging out and blocking me from joining. It made me sick to my stomach. It made my heart drop into the pit where my stomach had dropped from. Wondering what I could have done so you didn't want me around specifically. It made me angry again. I was taken to that place where I was as a child, bullied by people I thought were my friends. Yes, exclusion is a form of mental abuse.

The truth is I've been sick about it for months.

It crushed me because you know what things are like for me now, how things have been even harder than ever before and the one small joy I got was from hearing how your day went and making jokes with you over voice chat. Maybe I put too much pressure on you, or maybe I should have told you more how happy I was to be your friend.

I have mixed feelings. Here's this guy I loved like a brother, like a soul mate- someone I wanted in my life forever as a friend, who could harm me so bad... When it all could have been avoided by a few words: I don't want to talk right now.

How could I be so blind?

This has made me feel that you never valued any of our time together. It's made me think that you didn't put an ounce of care into our friendship if you could just hide from me like this.

I'm understanding, but I will hold you accountable, and I believe that you're being a coward about it. Learn communication, man. You're damaging us both.

I'm a firm believer in how we teach people how to treat us- and I refuse to let you treat me this way.

I'm leaving you with this, and I'm giving you until Friday to respond... and honestly, that is a lot more time than I'd give anyone else because you are someone I care about more than most. This is the last olive branch, I will leave you alone for good.

PB

[hacksnapchat32-blog]

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If a doable person has still to down load the application or if an consumer has not up to date due to the fact he/she is away from the loop, she or he ought to keep it that method. That sucks, but at least Gregg has How To Hack Snapchat that great jacket to retain himself heat! The alter, to be apparent, only gives folks the possibility, at any time, to de-connection their telephone selection from their username. This time, they posted comprehensive details about the difficulty. ’re going to see a large amount of data, every thing that goes across the community is gonna occur throughout in those people packets whether you’re on a wire or no matter if you are on a wireless community. With this world-wide-web savvy instrument, you can look at out what your buddies or youngsters are sending out and to whom they are sending out.

[messenger-of-stupidity]

Roll for Persuasion

I'm back with more Shaw Mates group chats. And it's still literally nothing but crack. Enjoy!

CW: GN Listener characters (any gendered terms are purely used for the meme and should not be taken seriously), Cursing, Crack, Kind of suggestive because Angel can't stop

<< Previous -- Redacted Masterlist -- Next >>

Summary: Angel needs to be jailed, Baabe is an accomplice, Sweetheart has a masterplan, and Sam is barely surviving in this.

Taglist: @wib-was-here @4letteraroace @moon0o

Angel: i learned smthn togay

Baabe: to gay or not to gay that is the question.

Sweetheart: Is this an actually valuable lesson or do I need to call the morgue to prepare for your body to come in

Angel: ...

Angel: n e wayz

Angel: i learned that daveys bag is in fact not waterproof

Sweetheart: Oh my god what did you do

Baabe: howd you find out?

Angel: i spilled water in it

Baabe: water in his valentino white bag?! WAGAOUWAH

Angel: mm doesnt hit the same

Baabe: no it really doesnt.

Sweetheart: Youre fucked

Angel: ah ha ha chad lip bite

Sam: Put it in the dryer?

Angel: ...

Angel: oh

Baabe: i just banged my ankle.

Angel: oh my god why did u do that

Baabe: IM GONNA CHOKE YOU! IT WASNT ON PURPOSE

Angel: ehrfiuerhfr i just dont know why youd want to fuck your ankle

Baabe: i banged it against a cabinet corner! i bruised it. it hurt. i did not fuck my ankle whats wrong with you?

Angel: must be the lack of oxygen

Sweetheart: I just went through the drivethru like twelve times and left each time because i didnt want to talk to people

Baabe: omg thats so asher coded of you.

Sam: I promise it will be okay. You'll even get food.

Angel: you were comin and goin

Angel: kum and go

Angel: ejaculate and evacuate

Baabe: i hope you know that jesus sleeps in your hair every night.

Sweetheart: Peanut butter is an ointment fight me

Baabe: i want proof.

Sweetheart: Its thick and can be used as a protective coating

Angel: you know what else is thick and can be used as a protective coating

Angel: daveys

Sam: That's enough internet for Angel.

Sam: Lirc?

Sweetheart: If I remember correctly

Sam: What's that?

Baabe: acronym for iirc.

Sam: What's iirc?

Angel: if i remember correctly

Sam: Remember what?

Sweetheart: I am fearing for my life

Sam: Why?

Sweetheart: Im home alone and theres a single slice of cheese on the counter

Sweetheart: Just lying there

Sam: Oh dear?

Sweetheart: I DIDNT PUT THAT THERE AND AGGRO SURE AS HELL DIDNT

Angel: were in your walls

Baabe: feed us the cheese

Baabe: we crave it

Angel: c h e e s e

Angel: what uni did yall go to

Baabe: stanford. worst years of my life

Sweetheart: DAMN

Sam: Same as Sweetheart.

Sam: What about you, Angel?

Angel: i went to ugh

Sam: I don't recognize that acronym.

Baabe: AHHAHAHHAHAHA

Angel: university of giving head

Sam: Goodbye.

Angel: CATSUP BLAST

Sweetheart: This is why we need to destroy capitalism

Baabe: CATSUP BLAST

Sam: What the hell is Catsup Blast?

Angel:

Baabe:

Sweetheart: Unrelated but Im seeing a lot of 6 x Gabriel stuff

Baabe: not surprised.

Sam: Is this that "old man yaoi" Angel keeps talking about?

Angel: KAHFDSGHHJ

Sweetheart: Sometimes self care is watch an hour and a half video about the JFK assassination

Baabe: you might benefit from some therapy.

Sweetheart: Homestuck is for true warriors. Those who have been heartbroken so many time they dont know how to feel or see anymore. Homestuck is for those who have experienced true pain yet still push through knowing no matter how much they face Homestuck is by their side supporting them. Homestuck is the reason for so many differences in the world and is the reason outcasts and popular kids have one thing in common. Homestuck is for those who dont feel emotions as theyve lost the ability to feel them years ago when that flame died out because of childhood issues and now the only thing they have left to bring them the tiniest bit of inspiration is Homestuck. Homestuck is for kids that have no where to turn to, teens who are on the brink of killing off their family, and for adults who have lost complete control of their lives. Homestuck is badass. Homestuck has caused many wars and won all of them, Homestuck has no barriers and does not abide to any man nor woman nor god, homestuck is above god itself. Homestuck doesnt even have a concept of god inside its intellectual brain because it knows its the reason for every good, bad, and neutral thing to happen to mankind and thats what matters. Homestuck could be legally clarified as a bible. Homestuck is for the fainthearted and isnt for the sensitive types or the crybabies. Its for true motherfuckers who know where they are in life and what the fuck theyre doing with themselves. Of course you think its cringe but maybe youre just projecting onto the homestuck because you have never felt such power or control over your own life and need to belittle those who have something greater than power. They have homestuck. Homestuck fans are the type to find your exact location and multiple different closed off social medias because you dont have the same opinion as them. I suggest next time you know your place and keep your mouth shut. Homestuck isnt cringe and isnt for weak nerds like you

Baabe: fuck you im not reading all that.

Angel: all i asked was if you wanted pesto on your pasta or marinara omg calm down

Sam: What is Homestuck?

Baabe: i havent cleaned my kitchen for a month blegh

Sweetheart: If it isnt gross I think youre fine but if it is then clean your damn kitchen

Angel: HOLY SHIT a month??

Baabe: yeah theres twelve of them.

Angel: *leans on expensive buffalo* heyyy

Angel: *bugatti

Baabe: nope youve sealed your fate.

Sweetheart: Im gonna cook your buffalo.

Angel: LEVAE HERBERT ALONE

Sam: I'm done.