#<- thats a text post tag but i like what i wrote here. into the tag it goes

[spearxwind]

.

[takekawa]

do you. do you have any ideas/theories on how rin could survive/make it to the gay cuck ending -totally anonymous tumblr user

postponed answering this bc it took me a bit to roll the idea around in my head. obligatory 'my character interpretations are firmly rooted in canon but still, like, extrapolating reasonably and prone to my horny tragedy-fetish bastard inclinations'

VERY difficult to come up with feasible theories given 'rin survives' is an inherently story-altering event in the context of shikis route and 'rin and shiki stop fighting (or rin gets somehow dragged into a situation like akira)' would require a lot of character development by proxy of rin and shiki fundamentally misunderstanding eachother.

i would have to play rin's route again (and shikis. and nanos) to get an exact gauge but from what i recall shiki is, in a bizarre way, 'caring' towards rin but i always assumed it was coming from a place of 'hardening' him. tough love. granted fucking 'I assault and kill all my problems' shiki isn't gonna be anywhere near emotionally intelligent enough to realize his nagging obsession over rin is an obsession (and more importantly a possessive one. i might be a lunatic misremembering but it did ABSOLUTELY come off [TO ME] like shiki was jealous of akira alongside being disappointed in rin).

rins pretty easy and doesn't really necessitate a paragraph like he has blonde twink BPD its fucking joever for him. over emotional little cuck was not built for sigma edit shiki. ill add that i personally prefer to headcanon that rin 'maturing' in his good end is him emulating shiki's 'cool' stoicism and complete refusal of cognitive empathy rather than rin really growing and moving on from shiki. outwardly seems fine but in my heart hes still having white girl meltdowns in private.

ANYWAYS. LOTS OF PREAMBLE! in my ideal world rin's emulation of shiki would start much earlier and lead to a gradual, self-destructive spiral into 'fearlessness'. what appeals akira to shiki in the first place is akiras lack of fear & will to fight in the face of it and i do NOT think rin is capable of being anywhere near as comparatively normal as tsundere 'just some guy trying his best' akira.

what makes most sense to me is their confrontation ending in a similar way to what leads to the shikiaki route (fighting and refusing to back down & showing no fear etc etc) with my personal preference being that he DOESNT lose like little bitch [affectionate] akira and instead reaches a standstill against shiki. neither side really wins

my deranged brain is speaking rn (maybe) but from how oddly morose shiki is after cutting rin into sashimi i like to think thats the ideal end shiki would've wanted. rin lets go of his fear, attachment and by extension anyone else but shiki, and becomes as emotionally detached as shiki is.

again i doubt shiki is aware he wants that and doubly doubt he would (or could) even ENTERTAIN the idea that rin dying is something that would make him sad. emotion is a weakness etc etc.

anyways. neither side really wins -> they end up teaming-up-but-not-really, in the sense that they're both freak bloodthirsty bastards who are TOTALLY not obsessed with eachother its COINCIDENCE that they keep engaging in swordfight foreplay. akira still being included in this is deeply funny i know hes getting fucking tossed around like a ragdoll between rin & shiki.

putting aside all my actual character analysis aside i think demure rin in the too-big shirt like akira has making out with akira sloppy style while waiting for their wife to come back from whatever the fuck his cunty dictator job implies would be hottest. but. my storytellers soul struggles to see a story where a mindbroken rin wouldn't just piss shiki off.

akira gets the advantage of being someone shiki has no real prior entanglement with, or at least nothing NEAR the psychosexual insanity going on with whatever the fuck shiki & rin have.

[courfee]

just went through all my ao3 fics and edited all the tags because i feel like i overtag a lot and it always bothered me. tbf the most overtagging happens in my relationship/character tags but i find it super difficult to judge who/which relationship is important. like friendships are So Important in my fics i dont feel like i cant tag less there? especially my longer fics. amtc james&sirius and black brothers are in my mind at least if not more important than literally amtc jegulus. i know its a jegulus fic but also jegulus is just the catalyst for other relationship dynamics. how do you tag that stuff

[ftmkinki]

Update all text in red before posting

Edit: this isnt complete, pls feel free to ignore

I love the idea of buying a house thats SOOOOO cheap because of reports of "ghosts". And then, having very kinky experiences with them ;) so i wrote a story about it!

FTM!Reader x ghosts you/your they/them pronouns only

Cnc, free use, bondage, ghosts (obviously), tags updated as i write more

Nsft under the cut 💗💗

You scoff at the idea that such a good house was sold for a meager 20,000 because of stupid rumors. It was big, didnt need repairs, had a beautiful fenced in garden, was in the perfect location, good neighborhood, far enough away from neighbors that you can be loud without consequences but close enough to get to everything easily. You kept an eye out for what was really wrong all through the moving process, but nothing showed. It really was just horrible reputation that gave you your absolute dream home!

You had all your stuff moved from your previous apartment (and your parents/friends place because there was ZERO storage in your apartment) and after a long long day of setting up, your bedroom and living room were ready for you to spend your first night there!

That night you decide to really treat yourself. Destress in the best way a single person can in your opinion. You get dressed up in your sexiest lingerie top and pair it with a set of peek a boo panties and thigh highs with garters, a collar, and grab a pair of nipple clamps (with attaching chain) and a bullet vibe. After everything is on you in just the way you like and the vibe is securely affixed (but off) to your tdick with body safe tape you start to prepare for a proper welcome to your new house.

As soon as you bend over to peel back the blankets and get ready, you feel a spectral hand caress your ass. You shoot up, shocked and a little afraid. You see nothing behind you when you turn around though.... after a tense moment you decide it was the wind and the stress of moving that made you think that; and set about continuing the final setup of your destress night.

You're arranging pillows and setting the mood, when suddenly your bullet vibe turns on, causing you to moan loudly and bend over until your torso was resting on the bed. You feel a spectral hand trail appreciatively down your nack, fingers catching on the edges of your lingerie until the hand smooths slowly down your ass, ending the motion with a firm grab.

"I never thought this house would be bought with me still in it," a husky and excited voice said, "but if this is what i can look forward to at night, i dont think i really mind."

"Who are you!?! Wh-" abruptly your ring gag was roughly placed in your mouth. You could feel spectral hands forcing it in place as the excited voice said

"Shhhhh, you're just gonna be our warm fleshlight from now on thats it baby. You even did such a good job prepping yourself for us like a good slut. Now just let us take it from here"

You were still confused and a little scared, but they seemed to add to your arousal not detracting from it. You let out a whimper and begin looking for the other people in the "we" equasion. Nothing showed.

But right when you were going to make a confused noise you felt a spectral cock

[casually-salad]

cutie pox chronicles, full master-post.

welcome to my sick and twisted world.. everything will be found below.

so firstly! i know theres a couple people coming from off tumblr sites to check this out (( hi jay!!! )) so ill explain somethin real quick!

All of my comics have hand written text! now sometimes these can be hard to read, and so if you press this button ( image below ) and ive wrote out all the text in there for your convenience! make sure as well to read the body of the post and also the tags! usually i have some post upload thoughts or feelings i talk about there - some add context and some are fun!

normally i would recommend going through my archive and searching for "mlp infection au" or "cutie pox chronicles" but you wont have to do that here - but for nontumblr users if you want to check out other blogs i recommend that method.

now before reading there is a massive trigger warning: on all posts with these topics everything is tagged as "tw (topic)" and so i would recommend blocklisting ones that make you uncomfortable or understand what youre going into! triggering contents include: blood, gore, body horror, eye horror and eye trauma, child death, dismemberment, and cannibalism.

now! all posts will be in upload order, liked here with the title and the in story date ( as it changes. ) as well as which posts are single images and which ones are comics. when looking at stat sheets, the more full the better! 0% - or empty health is death, and 0%- or empty, composure is maina. alright!!!!! here we gooooo!!

The Cutie Pox. (day 0) comic

stat sheets ( day 1 ) comic?

Lillys last cutiemark. - single

first sightings -single

first nights out. - comic

how far away does a home stray? - single

lillys last mark - comic

the everfree - single

from hell and back - comic (day 0)

imbalance - comic (day 2)

finding the spark - comic

moon dancers melancholy part 1 - comic

moon dancer sheet - single

fleeting feelings - comic

helping hoof..? - comic

moon dancers melancholy part 2 - comic

freezerburnt - comic

fleeting calmness - comic ( day 3 )

dreams fall hard today - comic

princesses stat sheets - comic?

wilting lilly - comic

youre going to live with that guilt - comic

home - home again. - comic ( day 4 )

hurt everywhere you go part 1 - comic

bracing for impact ( hurt everywhere you go part 2) - comic

get well - comic

fly free canary. - comic

getting worse - comic

a storm on the horizon- comic (day 5 )

CLOSING THOUGHTS:

i really never thought this comic would get me as far as it did, seince i started posting i went from having 100 followers to about 210, thats more than double! thats insane. i wont lie i am SOOOO ANXIOUS to have such a following!!!!! usually my posts prior wouldnt get more than 5 notes but now!! almost all of them ( at least of this comic ) have over 30 on every one!!! thats just, so crazy. i hope everyone continues to look forward as i begin preparation on chapter 2, and what else i have to offer on here - i have a whole lot more story to tell and im excited to!

[bayfuzzball7050]

SIEMPRE SE PUEDE PEDIR TRADUCCIÓN‼️‼️‼️

INTRODUCTION POST AND RULES 🔥🔥🦾🦾🦾🦈🦈

(Edit— 23/09/2024) I kinda got excited writing this ☠️

There’s like a worrying amount of text. I’m not sure everyone can gut how much I wrote 😭😭

But here are like the basics of my blog:

The name’s Andrés or Diego. Call me whatever ya want, idc

I’m a Trans Guy, he / him and if you don’t know me a they / them it’s ok I don’t mind that much. NO SHE HER IMMA BEAT UR ASS

☆ I got that dawg in me (asd) actually pls be patient im a little slow on some things

☆ Artist — I mostly make jjba fanart (currently insane about it)

☆ Art requests are currently closed!!

(for when I open them: I draw anything but nsfw/kinks and proship stuff)

☆ Writer (no fanfic here tho)

☆ don’t ask for pics you ain’t getting em

☆ if I use emojis, be aware that most of the time it’s ironic

☆ I make a lot of kys/kms jokes, if you’re not ok with this, please don’t follow

☆ i LOVE spammers, spam likes, reblogs, whatever as much as you like :3 (if ya want to like no pressure)

☆ if ya wanna be mutuals just ask I don’t mind I’ll just check yo vibe and that’s it

Art tag: #my art

Post tag/reblogs where I add something: #momazos dieg

BY THE WAY!!

☆ I usually don’t add tw (tho I dont post stuff with heavy themes often if I’m honest like I rarely do it) But if anything, be wary

☆ I also always have my notifications off so please don’t feel bad if I don’t answer a dm or anything of the sort

☆ please excuse me if I reblog/like artists who are proshippers, I don’t tend to check blogs before interacting🧍🏽(I’ve gotten myself blocked many times because of this)

☆ also like if they problematic in general like idk if maybe someone I reblogged has been in a big ahh controversy or summ so uhhh forgive me

☆ more info abt me and my blog under the cut :P ☆

So, I think imma make(try) a dni list but ik it’s ultimately useless cuz like I can’t force ya and im not your dad plus I’m too lazy to look through every blog that reblogs or likes but uh blocklist ig???

It’s just basic dni criteria, but like if ya wanna read ig?

SHIT THAT GETS YA BLOCKED ‼️‼️

(some of these are oddly specific)

☆ zionists, racists, homophobes, ace exclusionists/phobes, antisemits (guess that’s how you say it???), conservatives, mofos who discriminate/hate minorities in general

☆ Proshippers, Comshippers, anti-anti’s and profiction mfs

Why, you may ask? Horrible past experiences with these mofos and *other* bad experiences that ain’t really related to ‘em but remind me of so like if ur a proshipper just block me and move on I don’t want y’all around. Not rlly into the discourse and prolly never gonna post abt it but yeah

no Patrick, im not against the portrayal of fucked up things, im against the portrayal of those things as a type of pornography.

☆ On a similar note, I HATE LOL1C0NS AND SHOTAC0NS KYS…NOWW

☆ ON ANOTHER SIMILAR NOTE! even if I do hate proshippers, autoshippers/selfshippers are cool like hell yeah you go marry your blorbo 🔥🔥🔥

☆ Transphobes / TERFS

I think the whole ‘Im trans’ shit explains it well enough 💀

☆ SWERFS can also go fuck themselves

☆ Misandrists and radfems too like why you here 💀 when I first hear the term i thought it was about the most radical females 🤙 but dude…these girl be saying some bogus about other chicks! Plus your gender essentialism pisses me the hell off

☆ Transmeds/Truscums/anti-MOGAI mfs get the hell out of here I hate you like Imagine gatekeeping gender cuz someone doesn’t fit your idea of what a trans person is thats stupid af 😭😭

☆ Transid, “Transabled”, "transracial" are not welcome. I support trans people, MOGAI in. You support racist, ableist and ageist views and stuff of the sort, kindly fuck off and educate yourself.

☆ Radqueers in general actually

☆ NSFW agere blogs (SFW agere it’s cool I don’t mind)

☆ pedos/MAPS I want you hanging on the STREET

☆ Paraphilics in general

☆ Misgendering kink blogs cuz WHY THE HELL ARE YOU FOLLOWING ME¿ AND IM TRANS WTH¿¿

☆ kink blogs in general actually ☠️

☆ Pro-ANA or Pro-MIA mofos y’all please seek therapy

☆ swifties.

To be honest I don’t check the blogs of most people who reblog or like but- Ricky…Ricky when I catch you Ricky-

(I mostly notice when I get followed but- anyway 😻)

THIN ICE:

☆ Giomis shippers

Why? Cuz not all of them are proshippers but a vast majority is and giomis kinda weirds me out💀ik the age gap small but still it’s kinda….

☆ dsmp fans

As much as I enjoy the Fanart and maybe the roleplay was interesting I have like personal beef with the fanbase and creators

☆ Hannibal Fans

The franchise is fire but I also have beef with Hannibal fans cuz for some reason most of them proshippers

☆ MHA fans for the same reason as Hannibal fans

☆ Same with South Park

☆ Same goes for Homestuck fans

☆ Same goes for Steven Universe fans. It’s mid btw

☆ ONE PIECE fans, y’all didn’t do anything wrong it’s just that I haven’t caught up with the show 😭😭

☆ NSFW blogs (as in porn/smut)

ANYWAY

Languages I speak:

☆ Spanish (mother language)

☆ English

☆ A tiny bit of Italian

FANDOMS IM IN (but I forget sometimes 😿)

☆ JJBA (what I post about mostly (going insane over this))

☆ Yakuza (I haven’t finished 0 yet)

☆ LOST MEDIA. (Believe it or not, im also going insane over this.)

☆ Berserk

☆ Madoka Magica

☆ ikigusare (best virtual girl band ever fr fr)

☆ Gorillaz

☆ Good Omens

☆ Moral Orel

☆ Dorohedoro

☆ My Little Pony

☆ Sonic fandom

☆ Undertale / Deltarune

☆ Breaking Bad / Better Call Saul

☆ El Cuarteto De Nos

☆ Azumanga Dioh!

☆ Vocaloid

☆ Project Sekai

☆ D4DJ

☆ Food Fantasy

☆ FNAF (grrrr I love fnaf,,)

☆ Emo / Scene / Scemo (I just don’t have money for clothes nor the patience to make a blog only for that 😭😭)

☆ actually like another shit ton more but I can’t remember 😔

Socials:

☆ Reddit u/BayFuzzball7050 (old account, permanently banned)

☆ Reddit u/BayFuzzball404 (Current Account)

☆ ofc Tumblr

☆ Wattpad and AO3 but we ain’t talking about that 🤫🧏‍♂️

☆ @bayfuzzball7050-art is my art blog (reblogs from here)

☆ …

☆ also I might or might not have a questionable side art blog (collect my shitposts)

☆ ALSO! recently opened a Pixiv :3

☆ And NOW I HAVE AN ARTFIGHT! (sea foam)

Dis me btw

[rallamajoop]

Hi!!! okay so i love your theory crafting abt re8 & the free cam pics and analyzing everything so i thought maybe you would find this interesting (and maybe a little reassuring)

i dont think heisenberg has nazi affiliation, despite some of the nazi military equipment we see him with. and i dont think its mentioned anywhere in the game, but rather implied, that karl scavenged that stuff from a battlefield? for example, the tank used in his boss fight is a combination of a nazi gun tractor, combined with an american tank. the two guns mounted on it are also a german recoilless rifle and an american machine gun.

personally, i think his dogtag is probably his dads, but thats just a headcanon based on what little we know of the early concept designs and stuff (originally the giant metal and meat monster was heisenbergs dad. and to me heisenberg probably wouldve outright mentioned being a soldier or something in at least a diary entry or note if he was old enough during ww2 to remember it) it could also just be more stuff he scavenged. which is what i think is the deal

Hoo boy, you're really going to make me do a deep dive into all the evidence that Heisenberg might've been a Nazi, aren't you? (For context for anyone coming in cold, this is a response to my post on the fact Heisenberg's costume includes a very distinctive Nazi signal lamp, and why that bothers me.) Goddamnit. Fine.

So, first up, for a character we get as little background on as Heisenberg, there's no point framing this one "was he a Nazi?" Of course he wasn't, he's not anything, because he's not real. What we can ask is whether what made it into the game suggests that he was maybe going to be a Nazi at some point in development (or at least, that someone on the design team was uncomfortably into Nazi paraphernalia). And the answer to that one is, unfortunately, that it seems very plausible.

To be clear, there's nothing here you can't easily find other explanations for, at least for your own headcanons. "Heisenberg was a Nazi" is no more valid an interpretation than any other, based on what made it into the text. What annoys me is that it's arguably no less valid than any other take either. I do not like Schrodinger's Nazis popping up unexpectedly in my escapist fiction. And I hate to say it, but the more I've thought about the points you make here, the more Nazi shit I keep finding ‒ well beyond what I covered in that last post.

Let's start by going back to the dog tag. The inevitable problem is that the act of wearing one after the war ‒ regardless of whose it was or what country they fought for ‒ is that it kind of loudly signals pride in your military service. The tag may not be from WWII. It may not even be German. But Heisenberg is a character with a German name, who names his creations in German, and who's lived in the village under Miranda's thumb for decades. Statistically, most Germans who ever carried a dog tag that looked like that probably fought in WWII. And he carries that fecking Wehrmacht signal light to go with it. At that point, trying to argue that "maybe he just scavenged the signal light" or "maybe it was his Dad who was so proud of his Nazi service that he passed his dog tag on to his son to remember him by" starts to feel a lot like someone's protesting too much. You don't have to interpret Heisenberg as a proud Nazi soldier, but the costuming clues don't look great.

i dont think its mentioned anywhere in the game, but rather implied, that karl scavenged that stuff from a battlefield? for example, the tank used in his boss fight is a combination of a nazi gun tractor, combined with an american tank. the two guns mounted on it are also a german recoilless rifle and an american machine gun.

Uh, look, do you have a source for any of this beyond "someone wrote it in the wiki"? Because anyone can add anything to the wiki, that doesn't mean it's more than some military nerd's headcanon. Even if part of the vehicle looks like an actual American tank, all that means is that someone working on the game used one as a reference, maybe.

Meanwhile, the one genuinely plot-critical thing we're told about that tank is that it's made of metal-polymer composites, strongly implying that all the components were custom-made in the same place. The idea it's tacked together from salvaged components just doesn't hold water.

So how would Heisenberg have made those parts? Simple: his factory used to make tanks.

I'm sure it's possible to miss the half-dozen partially-wrecked tanks in the front yard outside the building ‒ there's a bunch of other scrap metal out there too, they kind of blend in. But when you've spent as much time as I have digging through the game files, it's much harder to miss how many files relating to the factory are explicitly labeled 'tankfactory' (...at least when they're not labeled 'geek'). There's even an asset for a pile of tank cannons. I don't know if or where that particular asset actually appears in the game, but no-one has that many tank parts lying in a pile unless they're building the things. Heisenberg's obviously re-purposed the factory for soldats now, but it plainly used to make tanks.

i think he scavenged that stuff bc of germany invading romania during ww2

I really hate to keep jumping on you here, but you can easily google this stuff. I am no-one's expert on the history of Romania in WWII, but even a cursory read up on the subject tells me that a fascist political party took power in Romania in 1940, and voluntarily allied with the Germans. Romania was itself an Axis power. How they were actually treated by their new 'allies' looks like it might be a thornier subject, but goddamn it I do not have time to fall down yet another research rabbit hole right now (my apologies on that front to any actual Romanians, god knows there is a lot of WWII history that us Westerners do not get taught about in school).

But now that I've had to look that up, I can pretty confidently state that if Heisenberg's factory was functioning during the war, it would have been manufacturing tanks for the Nazis. And if Germany did set up a tank factory in Romania, it's not implausible they'd have assigned a German to take charge (say, a former soldier who excelled on the battlefield, and is proud enough to keep wearing his dog tag?), so that all adds up uncomfortably well.

If anything, the more ambiguous part is whether the game is even set in Romania. Most people assume that was the intent, but the only location we're ever given is 'a county in Eastern Europe'. God knows if anyone at Capcom ever bothered to google Romania's involvement in WWII either, so I can't speak to their intent. But "maybe the German wearing the WWII era dog tag and the Nazi signal lamp wasn't personally responsible for manufacturing tanks for the Nazis with the tank factory in Nazi territory that he apparently lived in" is not an argument I'm prepared to build my house on. Let's at least allow that it does not look good. It'd hardly be the first time a piece of Japanese media has stuck its foot in its mouth over Nazi shit either.

to me heisenberg probably wouldve outright mentioned being a soldier or something in at least a diary entry or note if he was old enough during ww2 to remember it

Earnestly, why? Heisenberg's diary tells us nothing about his background whatsoever. We don't know what country he was born, how long he's lived in the village, how he became one of Miranda's experiments, how many decades he's been part of her family ‒ anything. Why would military service rank a special mention, when even clarifying whether he's a village native doesn't?

And again, it isn't hard to come up with theories where Heisenberg isn't a Nazi. Maybe he was a deserter, who still carries that dog tag because 'Karl Heisenberg' is really just a sham name Miranda gave him to match one of those four founding houses, and that tag is the only proof he's got left of his real name. Or maybe it's the only thing he's got left with his Dad's name on it, even though his Dad always said the war was bullshit, sure. Maybe the factory really was run by Nazis who left shit like that signal lamp lying around (to be repurposed into a handy electronics case like I suggested in that last post), and Heisenberg only moved into it more recently, because at least he speaks enough German to read all the shit they left around the place. Or maybe he only moved in because he found out someone was using it to build that polymer composite tank to kill him (why remains a much bigger dangling question than how), after which he figured he should probably stick around to make sure no-one else tried the same thing. These are all perfectly valid interpretations, and no-one is wrong for preferring them to having to deal with all that Nazi bullshit (though most still depend on some awkward German-nationality-coincidences). The fact that Heisenberg runs a tank factory and carries Nazi paraphernalia is really easy to miss, and no-one's less of a fan for not spotting it.

What little we do know is that Heisenberg's family got rewritten repeatedly during development. He was a twin at one point, his mother may have been used for experiments, his father was variously Sturm, Heisenberg's monster form, the village mayor, and maybe even Urias ‒ it's all over the place (all this comes from notes on the concept art that comes with the game, if anyone wants to fact-check me on it). Heisenberg probably wasn't originally meant to be Ethan's pseudo-ally either ‒ it's Ada rather than Heisenberg who gives him the chance to escape his trial in that early storyboard. Fuck, maybe at some point he (or his dad) really was going to be a goddamn Nazi mad scientist who fled to Romania and hid up a mountain somewhere, or whatever (though I can't easily imagine any Nazi scientist would be wearing that dog tag ‒ that's an accessory for the expendable rank-and-file of the military machine).

But possibly (and I'm really just speculating here), as Heisenberg became a more likable, ambiguously-grey character during development, Capcom may have decided it would be a good idea to tone down the Nazi stuff. They just accidentally left in the dog tag, the signal lamp, and the goddamn tank factory in presumably-Nazi territory, and had to quickly deny all Nazi associations when people made the obvious connections. If the official word from Capcom is that Heisenberg isn't a Nazi (or at least, that we aren't intended to read Heisenberg-the-fictional-character as having any Nazi sympathies or affiliations), I should be pretty happy to take that as official.

If you really want textual "evidence" that Heisenberg wasn't a Nazi, the best I can offer is the fact Dimitrescu dismisses him as 'a child', which suggests to me that he's much younger than her, and possibly even younger than her daughters (though I still can't buy he was a child when he first met Dimitrescu or Miranda). We don't actually know how old she or her daughters are, of course (they were in already the castle in 1952, but whether they'd just moved in or whether they'd been there for decades we don't know), but dismissing someone who was old enough to have served in WWII as 'a child' strikes me as a bit of a stretch even for Lady D. But that's not much more than interpretation, and one can easily be a Nazi sympathiser without personally having taken part in the war.

I still love Heisenberg as a character, flaws and all. I'm definitely not going to stop writing about him being his terrible, ridiculous self. I'll gladly go on ignoring all this nazi shit as much as I can get away with. I'm absolutely not here to tell you that RE8 is now #problematic and can only be addressed after adequate hand-wringing. That shit helps no-one.

But back in the real world, where fascism is on the rise again across the globe, and where the internet would have me believe that coded references to shit as vague as the date of Hitler's birthday is apparently a popular cryptofascist dogwhistle or some shit, do I have to waste mental energy on whether it means something serious that there are surprise Nazis popping up in my innocent little zombie-horror-game? Like, if a character isn't a Nazi, is it so damn hard not to include two different bits of Nazi memorabilia directly on their character model? The horrors of capitalism I signed up for; the horrors of People You Never Realised Were Secretly A Nazi is one I could have done without here, kthx.

And the sad fact is, it's really not that easy to just explain away.

[beemers-hell]

**not me absolutely trying to avoid using Emoji’s but having the need to so I look silly and whimsical and not dramatic and like a frightened Victorian child😞**

ANYWAY….💀I’m new to sending a random thingy and I just wanted to send this anyway cuz I’m a little peanut brain and can’t decide on what I’m doing but besides that— 👹👹👹I REALLY LOVE YOUR ART STYLE SO MUCH ITS TOTALLY INSPIRING AND I THINK I SORTA GAINED A KIND OF LIKE “😦Oh Wowwie this person is so unique how do they post their art without being scared?” ((I posted like three things but I’m over here too goofy to go off from the Anonymous text thing but I really should cuz— 🧍🏽‍♀️……I’m rambling- 👹👹👹👹TO GET TO THE POINT I WILL LITERALLY EAT YOUR ART AND THROW A MILLION HEARTS ALL OVER YOUR CHARACTER DESIGNS RAAHHHHHHHH I LOVE THEM AAAAAAAA❗️❗️❗️❗️❗️❗️❗️❗️—-

(Also random thing but like- how do artist genuinely post stuff and just— get it noticed?—😞 sorry I absolutely suck at this since I rarely ask people things on here since I wanna post my own silly art and characters but I get all “😦…OH! PEOPLE CAN SEE MY THINGS—“..but at the same time wanting people to see my artwork?— YEAH ITS CONFUSING AND MY BRAIN IS SO FRIED TRYING TO DRAW MY FAVORITE MADNESS COMBAT CHARACTER…..))

😞sorry that I just wrote a bunch of vomit from my brain I just don’t know how to send things without rambling like a deranged creature—

I CANT TELL YOU ALL THANK YOU ENOUGH FOR BEING SO KIND TO ME ITS NOT FAIR RAUAGAHAGUGSIGJSH

As for how you get noticed, straight up you just gotta get lucky. If you're like me where you're scared of talking to people and interacting with others, you're just gonna have to leave it up to luck whether people notice you or not lmao. That's what happened to me! I just posted my stupid doodles to the madness tags and didn't do much else and I ended up getting lucky in that a lot of people noticed me and a lot of people liked my shit.

Or you can just interact with a lot of people and you'll get your name out there that way! I'm too chicken shit to do that so I don't know how well that works personally lmao

Straight up, you just gotta conquer your nervousness over posting art. I was terrified of sharing my oc x canon stuff with Eb and Tricky publically but hey lo and behold people were really nice and encouraging about it. And now I'm not AS afraid to share stuff thats personal to me! Really its all about not letting your anxiety stop you from doing what you like. I had to learn how to overcome that and you will too!

Also, to all my fellow "is anxious about sharing my personal stuff that I think others will think is cringe type of content publically, esp in the Madness fandom": No one else opinion matters because Krinks has your back dawg. My proof is this lol

[simplydnp]

you don't need to post this but, char, that thing you wrote about being so happy when certain people reblog things from you - you're one of those blogs for me. it's like, wow this person with really cool and good thoughts thought my thing was cool, reblogged it and even wrote something in the tags??

I was going to yap something sappy about community, how we're all brought together through the same thing and enable each other in the best (and sometimes probably worst) ways possible, but judging by your tags you also feel that way :)

anon 🥺🥺🥺

i think it's really neat how positivity is spread through the phandom on tumblr. there's people who have been here for many, many years, and blogs who have tons of followers in the space, but the posts that get the most traction? they're sweet. or funny and sweet. the big blogs will reblog anything from anyone and it'll rock op's world for a few days. and thats so cool! it's holding up a sign like hey i thought this was neat! and we all crowd around like omg yeah!!

i think a lot about post circulation on tumblr, as well as tagging (cause i do it a lot). and what ive noticed from dnp tumblr is that a large chunk of posts get shared bc 1 person reblogged it, and it sets off a chain reaction. most people find most posts through their dash, as opposed to searching the tag. it leads to a big sense of community and comraderie. reblogging is always important but even more so for phandom tumblr.

i'm glad i can share some positivity with the posts i interact with, cause really, that's what it's all about isn't it? everyone here is so fucking cool and i think it's really important for people to hear they're doing well, which is what i try to do with my blog. be it any type of art, jokes, or text posts, we all post to be seen in some way shape or form.

[zeltqz]

niyaaaa do u have any tips for people who wanna get into fic writing? 👀

i don’t really get how the whole posting format for fics works on here tbh 😭 and like your info area it’s so cool

YEAH OFC!! btw dm me your username so i can follow and support you <3

tip 1- the posting format isnt that hard to get used to actually its just you create a tumblr text post and then copy and paste your fic onto it, add the tags and stuff then post it. if you want to add banners, headers and stuff to make it look better then go ahead, just add images to the text post

tip 2- the info area is the same as above, just add pictures of your choice etc to the text post, add your information, name, age, fav things etc and then to link posts to your post, highlight where u want the link to go, then copy the link of the post u want linked then press the hyperlink that looks like two chains linked together when you highlight the text if that makes sense? sounds like a lot but its rlly not i promise haha

tip 3- always type your fics on other apps like word or google docs since they have an auto save feature!! i dont reccomend typing your fics on tumblr since one if the app crashes, it doesn't automatically save your work so everything you wrote will get deleted (some versions of tumblr do have autosave, my laptop has it but my phone and iPad doesn't, so i dont rely on it)

tip 4- idk if you want tips on actual fic writing or just how to get your fics onto tumblr but ill help you with that anyway. with me when i write fics i always imagine it out in my head. theres some of my fics where i just went with the flow and wrote wgatever came to mind and those are the fics i hate the most because they dont rlly make sense to me. theyre always so random and it just seems rushed and bad.

i picture my fics like a scene in my head and whatever i want the character to do, think, say or feel i write that shit down asap. i use other online sources to help get more descriptive like the emotion theasurus <- honestly one of my favourite things to use ever, they have so much body language to use for every emotion in the damn book

dialogue is also something i find difficult. i've improved i personally feel like but its still hard for me especially if im writing a new character. i never want to make the character seem OOC so i do lots of research before hand. i normally use the wiki to read up on a characters personality.

for example i'll use ran for this since he's like 99% of my account lmao. in the wiki, he's described as "naturally whimsical toward others which makes him inscrutable" though ran doesnt have many scenes in the manga (which i hate bc i love him sm) its impossible to actually write him down to a tee so i use that naturally whimsical description to make him playful, charismatic, carefree etc, going off what little information i have with him.

getting a characters personality down is what can make or break a dialogue. for me when im reading a fic of a character and their dialogue is so OOC it puts me off and i dont even wanna read. so i apply my same fic icks to myself and think if I don't like seeing this and that in a fic, why would I incorporate those in my fics and have ppl get put off it if they have the same fic icks as me?

hope that makes sense!!

tip 5- dont rush yourself at all. i used to rush a few of my fics and i just ended up hating it so much after and fought bck the urge to delete them so many times but then i'd see people's comments and realise i was being too harsh on myself. i'd keep them up but i'd just hate seeing them get attention.

rushing only makes you hate your work and the quality of your work will decline if you are not in the right headspace.

thats also why i have the don't rush me thing in my rules because not only is it annoying to see people constantly asking for updates, it also makes me mad because i know i'll just put out a piece of garbage if i did rush.

also another tip don't give yourself deadlines!! if you know your writing consistency can be a little sloppy, don't tell your followers that you're going to upload every so and so day. if something happens and you miss the deadline, you'll feel bad and rush something out and most times out of ten, a rushed fic doesn't do well. so take your time and don't rush.

tip 6- dont listen to what other people say or feel obligated to write something you don't wanna. establish your boundaries!! for example, from day one i started this blog i said im accepting requests but i will not write anything to do with non-con, incest or minors. i made sure that was out there so i wouldn't feel uncomforable writing anything i wasn't comfy with.

there are people on this app that may like your writing and request you to write something for them. you are not obligated to write anything for anyone! don't feel like you have to just because they asked nicely.

if you want to accept requests you can im not saying you shouldn't, im saying don't feel like you have to. you always have a choice. its your blog.

tip 7- remember this isn't a job. you're allowed to take breaks, allowed to have a personal life. don't feel like you need to be updating every day. i used to think i was obligated to be uploading consistently at least every week because i was obsesssed with engagement and seeing peoples comments and was scared if i took a break ppl will unfollow. now i honestly don't care. i'm not active as much as i used to because of school and that's fine! if ppl want to leave, let them. don't feel like you're forced to keep being active in order to keep your follower count stable.

tip 8- this app can get really toxic sometimes. luckily enough i've only had one toxic anon in my inbox and i've been on this app for a year. some people have so many, some ppl get harrassed etc. if that happens to you just be prepared since there's no actual way to find out who's behind anons. you can turn off your anon options which means if ppl want to inbox you something then their account will be showing. some people arent comfortable with that and that's fine! i keep mine on because i want people to feel comfortable on my page.

just remember though if you ever feel like this app is getting overwhelming take breaks! for the sake of your mental health take breaks. i know so many writers on here that took breaks and came back healthier and stronger.

i feel like this tip goes for social media in general. as much as i love social media im aware how unhealthy it is. breaks are so important for you. remember that.

i can't think of anymore tips right now but if i have some more i will edit the post and add it on.

if u have anymore questions about the tumblr posting format dm me and ill help you out :))

[bigmack2go]

I wanna post some of my (backround-) character sheets that ive been making yk the ones that i already posted in more detail

Text: (-right:)

-white

-russian

-ab!sive family

-childhood friends with albert

(-right, bottom:)

„Buyed“

(-Descriptions in sketch (from top to bottom):)

Tommy boy

Brown

Blue

Beijge/brown

Scar

This is one of the not so full ones (so far) but i‘m lazy and tired and i dont wanna have to ID to much. So woth this one im just gonna explain how i build up this whole thing

So basically its always the name and/or Nickname obv. Then there’s a sketch of them, stylising important features in their face and body. There’s one block of info hc‘s about family and origin/nativity and one with general stuff thats usually very random. (This one doesn’t have this but you‘ll see) the. There’s gonna be four kind of signatures that are usually underneat the sketch. They are (top to bottom, left to right) one: handwriting, two: autographed, three: signature, and four: greetings. There’s gonna be personal items on the side and gorgeous some, there may be an extra block for backstory/story.

Theres gonna be a quote from them for each and a „stand“ on rules in the top corner. I‘m also gonna wrote some extra stuff in the post it self for some and check the tag to find the rest

I‘m just gonna put another one here, thats fuller so u have an idea if what it looks like but i wonder ID it first now. (Its gonna have an extra post)

This is prolly the best example thats not TOO full

[delusional-mishaps]

OMG OMG YESSS I have so much to say so be prepared for yet another long ask 💕 really enjoying your replies omg they are so fun RAAAAHHHH!!!Op and I might have later replies because my dog is really sick, uuhhh yea not good

I FREAKING LOVE AND HATE ANIME TERMS. Like they are so cringe but also goofy, yes he uses them. And he likes Mob Psycho 100 BECAUSE I SAID SO OKAY LEMME PROJECT!!! HE MAKES REFERENCES TO REIGEN ARTAKA WHENEVER SOMEONE BRJNGS UP A SCAMMER AND PROBABLY BRINGS UP THE SEXYMAN TOURNAMENT LIKE “Oh yeah bruh people said an alternative version of me was hotter than him,” HE WOULD BE SO PROUD OF ORIGINAL SANS UNDERTALE WINNING THAT GRRRRR!!! And the fontcest was VERY disturbing, but my friends have sent me a lot worse (if they suffer, I have too also 😭😭😭).

Could not agree more on how goofy the mtt is with grandpa nightmare. ONLY FANON THOUGH. Canon is pretty messed up actually, but I ADORE the angst with all my heart. Omg epic sans angst also… we👏need 👏MORE👏

Cram and James also had an abusive owner though? WHO COULD HURT THOSE BABIES. HOW DARE THEY TOUCH DA CHILD, I WOULD BEAT THEM UP SO FAST‼️🤬 Also how did your sona react when they realized there were two more previous lil things in their pockets? And just wanted to say how right your motto in the description is, to be cringe IS to be free! THAT’S WHAT I’VE BEEN SAYING AAAAAHHH!!! And I remember you said you fell in love with epic after you wrote a request for him? WHERE IS THAT REQUEST I NEED IT NOW TO READ PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE 🛐🛐🛐🛐🛐🛐🛐🛐🛐🛐🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🤲🤲🤲🤲🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

Your coworker that you were posting about seems really yucky. Honestly I have no idea what you should do, but making it very obvious that you don’t want to hang out with him and telling your boss about it would be the best steps in my opinion. Also since he has an accent that you can’t easily understand, texting might be a good communication method. Just know that it is completely okay to feel uncomfortable and that there are people here for you. I love you platonically boo boo, stay safe. And if you ever need me, just use the words epic and sans in the same post and I SHALL BE SUMMONED (I check the tag everyday lol) there should be some in depth videos about what to do when feeling uncomfortable around coworkers also, it;s a pretty common thing and I would recommend maybe checking those out. Hope everything turns out okay, take my hearts ily again friend 🩷❤️🧡💛💚🩵💙💜🤎🖤🩶🤍💖💝💘💓💗💞💕♥️❣️💟🫀🫶

-sincerely, anon? Wait I don’t really have a name I guess lol. And hahahah, YOU’LL NEVER KNOW MY TRUE IDENTITY!!! (stay safe tho I might die if anything happens to you, care about you a lot)

ANOOON ❤️❤️🫶🫶🫶🫶

OKAY!! THIS (click here) is the post that made me fall head over heels for the cringe master himself i hate him i hate him i hate him i need to make out with him *get's assassinated* (this post was the reason i ever even looked into epic i never really knew abt him before that)

ISNSONEOEJ EPIC WOULD SOOO LOVE THAT UT SANS IS CONSIDERED SEXIER THAN REIGN.. ngl i dont watch anime anymore so idk what is going on in.. anime fandom anymore.. but methinks epic would totally still act like late 2000s/early 2010s fandom.. bro would "glomp" and .. wtv idk LMFAOOO

i adoreeeee angst im actually so surprised ive yet to write any angst with epic ngl (all my personal self insert writing is.. smyt... LMFAOOAOAOAI) actually thats a lie theres a lil angst bcs (bringing up my persona's lore mwehehe) they met epic first!!! and became friends eith him b4 they met cross!!!! and he had a lil crush on them but woyld ratger die than confess so then my sona and cross get together and epic is all emo bcs unrequited love but its ok theyre a power throuple now

i had this customer earlier who had like a rlly thick scottish accent and fr some reason i was like.. nightmare wiyha thick scottish accent would be so funny. the mtt would make so much fun of him fir how he says words and when he gets angry hes like incomprehensible. idk why i thought of that but its tlly funny to think about LMAOO <333 BUT ALSO imagine how a canon mtt would be.. because the mtt is veryyyyy fanon.. like everyone would hate each other 😭

OK CRAM AND JAM!!!! ngl when my sona (who's name is jet, and i'll be calling them that fron this point instead if calling yhem 'my sona' LMFAOO) realized they had two extra bitties they kinda just.. 🧍 <- stood there like that. but its not the first time they just had bitties pop up and decide to live with them they got an ink bitty that did like the same thing BAHAHAH he just decided to move into their apartment. jet doesnt rlly mind but theyre lil trouble makers >:(

ANOOON YOU'RE LITETALLY SO SWEET.. catch me crying on my break at work rn LMFAOO yeah im gonna tell my boss to not schedule me with that coworker anymore.. but man when i told my mom abt it last night her first response was "i remember when i had a stalker :]" LADY.. first of all THATS NOT FUNNY second what is the lore you are dropping cuz whaaat (she then threatened to go speak to him and tell him to fuck off she's so slay)

DO U WANT A NAME... you can be one of my lil emoji anons i love you guys :] and it makes it easier to recognize you LMAOO

[romanarose]

Hello there ✨️ love your work 💕 I'm a long time fan 🫶🏼. I've been on tumblr a few years now, but I'd never found the courage to post anything of my own til now. I've been feeling a little optimistic these days, and genuinely excited about posting some of my writing and sharing it with the people out here. Do you have any advice on how to start posting and interacting from scratch? Cause I'm low-key nervous abt it and it seems like my target audience has already formed a solid community I don't know how to get into 🥺

Wow, this might be the sweetest thing anyone has ever said to me wowie!!!!!!

okay let me tell my advice

The numbers don't equal quality. Certain things appeal to people more, like shorter stories, straight up smut, Joel Miller gets way more than when I write Marc. I think one of my best works was my Marc X Jewish!Reader series, Seattle, but it idnt get anywhere really even at the height of moon knight popularity bc people dont read OC's esp ethnic oc's. Put your heart into it and those who enjoy it will enjoy it. I had a William Miller series that averaged like 8-20 notes per chapter but I had a handful of readers I knew adored it and thats what mattered

This site is so much better with interaction. PLEASE DON"T ONLY INTERACT FOR THE SAKE OF GETTING FRIENDS WHO"LL REBLOG!! However, if you dont already, make sure you are reblogging stories and leaving nice words! Me personally, if someone reblogs regularly and leave nice words, espcially things that show they really paid attention, I usually just follow back bc I love friends. Im happy to get to know you!

Yes, it's hard sometimes to break it. It took a few months for me to get into the Oscar Issac writer circles, and then when I started writing Pedro it took a while too but I always reblogged and tried to communicate and I made friends. Isn't it crazy we can just.... become friends with our fav writers? Obvs Im not friends with all my favs but MOST of my favs became my friends <3

It's kinda annoying to me bc Im bad at it but aesthetics help. Title, a picture to catch eyes, summary, warnings, note. Try to make it look nice. Im really had at this LMFAOOOOOO. My lovely friends have made my best looking banners. If you have graphic design skills, use them! i wish i didn't have to but it does help catch readers when you have an interesting headers and everything looks pretty.

Few technicals. Use the readmore option. No one wants to reblog a LOOOOOONG story and clog up the feeds. Use as many correct tags as you can. Tag any triggering content. And I'm the worst at this but proof read. Im bad at proof reading, everyone who reads my work knows spelling, grammar, wrong words are a common issue I have bc Im bad at typing. When I still had word on my laptop I started typing in word and using text to speach to help me catch stuff!

Keep at it! IDK where you know my work, weather moon knight, triple frontier or tlou or whatever but all those fandoms right now are like.... a little less active. So don't be dissapointed if it takes a while. With TLOU, theres SOOOOOOO many amazing writers. With Moon Knight theres just less buzz rn. If you write for lesser known characters like Llewyn Davis or Will Miller, you probs won't reach the notes of established writers in Joel Miller. Just the reality. the point is keep going, find what you like and what gets people excited and go from there

This is the most important. Write what you want. I mean it. I love writing Will Miller because he's my special man <3 even though it's a small fanbase. My series Rooms On Fire, a lot have lost interest bc its a long series. That's okay! I love the series and it makes me happy to write it. I wrote a few Miguel O'Hara stories because, I'm being honest here, I wanted to capitalize on the hype. Guess what? They weren't good. I'm not proud of them. Since then, I write what Im inspired to.

THIS SHOULD BE FUN AND IF AT ANY POINT, IT"S NOT FUN STOP AND FIGURE OUT WHY

feel free to say hi off anon! I'm always happy to get to know new people. If you like Triple Frontier, I have a discord server that is pretty much open to everyone! I'm trying to revive it and you can share your works and meet knew people!

Anon or not, let me know if you have any questions!

[kissinvampires]

I am... gonna rant. Cuz I've been feeling... some type of way.

That way is very very very pissed off, by the way, just to set the mood for what's under that readmore. 😤😤😤

Okay so.... ive been posting more writing on my writing blog. And its been nice. People have been nice.

But here's the thing. And yes this is about the like/reblog ratio again. Because its been upsetting me. And yes im also on my period so im even more emotionally wacky but i have to get this out.

I made a small, teeny tiny vent post, that was incredibly sarcastic and bitchy and very clearly just me venting my own shit. I even explained in the tags that i was feeling really disheartened by it all and just needed to let out my feelings. And then i got this response:

And i GET it. People like things for reasons and blah blah blah BUT . I didnt know this person, nor did they know me. And they talked to me like i didnt fucking know how this goddamn website works, like i don't goddamn live here. It is not the same as any of that. "Its not that deep" I dont KNOW you!!! And you dont know ME! maybe it is! Maybe it IS that deep to me. I was obviously feeling upset enough to make a ranty post???

And they talked about not wanting things on their blog but they reblogged my personal bitchy post with a comment.... like... that could have been a reply!!! Or even better.... dont say fucking anything. It wasnt even a fandom blog. I dont know how they found the post, i didnt even tag it. I assume they follow someone who reblogged it, but i dont think it had that many reblogs. NOT THE POINT!

The point is, mainly, that... its nice getting attention for writing. Or any art you put out onto this little website, but like... my writing blog, which I've had for YEARS just NOW hit 10,000 likes like a couple days ago. And im not trying to sound ungrateful. Because likes are nice. They really are. I like posts all the time.

But the fact that i wrote a 12,000 word fic the other day, posted it, and it has 15 fucking notes, total. 2 of which are mine, because i reblogged it on my main blog. 5 total reblogs. And only one of those has tags. I understand that not everyone uses tags, thats chill.

BUT!!!! The fic was even NSFW and i dont write that super often, but its what i see most, its a popular genre, and the fic STILL only has 15 notes.

And it just... feels like I'm doing something wrong? Like, no matter what kind of fic i post, if it not just a tiny text post it feels like no one interacts or cares at all. And it just... fucking ... it's disheartening and exhausting and it fucking hurts.

Like why do i even fucking write anything? Or post anything? If no one gives a shit? Like, people dont get it, i know artists and gif makers, and literally anyone putting out content gets it. Because we put in hard fucking work and then get nothing back???

Like i have this amazing fic idea about plus size reader x eddie munson and i KNOW its gonna be fucking cute. Its eating away at my brain its so cute. But like.... .... i don't even want to write it now. Because no one will care. No one will interact with it.

It just sucks. I wanna write stuff and share stuff and know that people like it too. But like, if people only interact with posts that are like a paragraph long why the fuck should i even keep writing and posting stuff?

And i know im not the only one who feels this way. And it sucks. But to be complaining about it in my own space and have someone fucking come onto my post and tell me "it's not that deep".... like honestly, fuck you.

ESPECIALLY since i didn't know them??? And they didn't know me. And then came and talked down to me like I'm an idiot who doesn't know how this website works.

This is a sharing website. Its based on shares and sharing and thats how things get more views, and get more people into things, and the sharing and nice comments from others is what sparks more creativity and sparks more art and writing and gifsets and content.

And i don't know where im going with this, i don't really have an aim here i just needed to fucking rant. Because i got pissed off about it again and needed to let it out. But its goddamn exhausting when i put my heart and feelings and shit into my writing and then just... no one cares or interact or whatever and just uugghhh

IT'S VERY FRUSTRATING AND ITS MAKING ME FEEL GROSS AND UPSET AND I JUST WANNA ENJOY WRITING!!!!

[tears-of-boredom]

My room door has its hinges on my side so youd have to break the door to get in. I think i can hold my side if im awake. Im kinda paranoid. But i guess i have basis in that. I have a reason why i feel so stressed in this house. Even though i shouldnt. I should have no reason to have to keep a knife in my room to feel safe. And i think she doesnt see that i have reasons. I think that she thinks im just angry at her. I think she thinks i dont answer her because im mad at her. She thinks that i would want to keep my door closed when she comes in to talk because then the cats can get in. She thinks i care.

My sister sent me a text earlier. It was actually yesterday. We dont really talk to each other, just relay information when needed. She said that she wants for me to leave as well for the weekend so she and her friends can be totally alone. It wasnt in a rude way or anything. She said that she had noticed how closed off ive been for a while, and that shes pretty worried about me. That if there's anything she could help me with, she would. She said that she cant help if she doesnt know how to, and asked if i could respond. Then a hug sticker....

..........

......

Last year, I would've been so happy to get that message. I knew then that my sister cared about me, and that she would listen if I opened up to her...but it never felt right, it was always like i would be needlessly ruining her mood. That text read to me like a direct invation to share things. It read like I would make her day better by telling her how I've felt all this time.

........but...

I dont know, somewhere there was a tipping point...past that point, i dont feel redeemable, or frankly, like a person. Her words also mirrored mother's words pretty closely, so it makes me afraid that her other words would do that as well.

I feel like any help people will try to throw on me, will just go to waste. Not even the jokey "im employing people" excuse does anything for me anymore.

I needed saving when i was in fucking 2nd grade.

.....what if i got the wrong diagnosis....what if thats why none of the therapy or other aids work....i know that its impossible to fake an autism diagnosis, i know......i also remember how i still thought i was fine, how i was actively playing down every problem i had....whenever i stepped into the doctors room, i took on this persona....the good patient.......

........i just remember the red couches in every room.....in my head, i was just entertaining the adults.. they wanted to do all this to me, and me telling them i dont feel like it helps me, or that i dont see the point in it,, it didnt convince them. So i played along, while convinced i was alright, convinced from the start that none of it was going to help.....

...i was still bottling up all my frustrations, because if you ignore it, it goes away. Talking back will only lead to more conflict. I let the adults mispresent me, not like i cared, it wasnt going to work either way. Since the adults are better at knowing whats good for me, maybe theyre better at knowing me as well huh.

......i remember feeling really guilty, sitting in the waiting room and looking around. Seeing these other kids who had real problems. I felt like a faker. I wasnt supposed to be there.....

.....thats kind of how i feel about life..like im a faker, and that im not supposed to be here....

Last sunday, i was just asking the whole time in my head "why?", "was this your plan?", "did i do something wrong?", "is this what you had always planned, or did i make a choice that altered it?"......

..........

.......i wrote the tags before all the shit from my sister's text onwards..this wasnt supposed to be another one of these posts, just a quick "lol i hate it here"..... i hate it everytime i insinuate that i have trauma. I mean every. single. time. Its the same with any problem that i see as "real". I'll say i have something a couple times, but then the guilt catches up and i feel like ive been lying....its catching up from my "aspergers" diagnosis.....the fact that the diagnosis is called that makes me feel even faker.....i asked about it one time, about why they used the "outdated" term, and the reasoning was that "its just an older term for autism dont worry, it means the same thing"......

...........

......my fuel has kinda run out by now.....my tears have dried completely.....i dont know how else to end this....sorry for posting this. I know its shitty of me to say that and post it anyways, i dont know why i do this........

[enden-k]

hi youn you don't really know me but i just wanted to say your tags on that most recent reblog of the "reblog art posts you like" post are so real and i really appreciate you taking the time to write all of that. i'm a hobbyist content creator myself (i do it for myself + my close friends) but i've never really posted anything online because i worry about basically exactly that kind of thing. especially with my ocs. i don't think i'm capable of making myself not look at the notes, the one time i made a text post it somehow got like 60 likes and 5 reblogs and from that other post you reblogged that looks actually pretty generous which is horrifying to me.

anyway um thank you. as someone who regularly puts effort into running their mouth in the tags of art+writing posts (and has gotten multiple dms thanking me for doing so, actually!) and is too afraid to post on this site, i really really agree that reblogs and especially heartfelt tags make such a difference, and the situation here on tumblr is really discouraging to active creators and to new/silent creators as well. like current creators getting fed up and leaving is a big concern obviously but there is also already content being missed before it's even posted. and i would be really surprised if that weren't the case for many other young creators that just decided to keep their ideas to themselves because of all this.

i know personally when I see this happening to artists (including writers) that i really look up to what it really feels like is just that fandom is dying. like it's just a small handful of content creators here holding each other up (the majority of that handful of reblogs) and everyone else is probably on some kind of a mindless content scroll. likes to me are like a little hand wave, like a "hey I saw this thing!" marker, but reblogs are like taking a picture of it, going "hey I like this!" or "i want to see this again!" and it feels kind of weird to see swarms of people just kind of giving a little thumbs up/wave/brief nod to something they theoretically like.

sorry this got so long!!! i just really appreciated your post and i had a few thoughts and then i wrote a whole wall.. (also no pressure to post this (though it's also ok if you do)! mostly wanted to let you know that post meant a lot to me)

hi, dont apologise or worry about the length of this message! its all fine!

i forgot to mention it in the rb tags and my post earlier but YES. yes exactly, reblogs esp with tags on it, ppl gushing or talking about the creation they rb is always the best thing for a creator. this can literally make our days, i have messages and tags saved for whenever i feel unhappy about my stuff so i can look them up again! it really means a lot, so not only do you show your love and support to the creator and their work by rb, it can also make us so so happy to see you talk about it

and yes, its really really hard for new/starting creators to post here, bc of this issue. as well as for OCs!!! thats mostly why i also keep my OCs away and just do fanart bc honestly, i think this would actually sadden me so i dont want that. and knowing that many people do that too is very sad bc theres so much stuff people wanna show but dont dare bc they feel like no ones gonna look anw. so much creativity and wonderful works, kept hidden/unposted or not appreciated enough, its really saddening

anw, same thoughts honestly. thanks sm for the message!

lets keep creations, no matter if art or writing, fanwork or OCs, alive by actually reblogging it instead of just mindlessly liking it; lets give new/starting people a chance to show their work