#anyway I cried for like half an hour after talking with my mom lol | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

chikkou · 8 months ago

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ok i was waiting until my laptop got here to finally tell all the bullshit thats happened in the last like. 5 months lol. cause its a lot to type

im gonna put it all under the cut so no one has to read if they dont want. its a LONG fucking story.

tl;dr:

ok so for basic background, for the last two years or so, i was living with a roommate in connecticut. the roommate was my (now former) best friend since middle school. in july of this year his behavior totally shifted, and he started picking fights with me out of nowhere, told our high school friends a bunch of straight up lies abt me to make me look like a horrible roommate & person, and just generally became a two-faced dickhead. in the end, it turned out to all be excuses to justify his decision to move out (unofficially, name was still on the lease) so that he could live with his boyfriends and not pay any bills. at the time i was really devastated by this bc i felt totally betrayed by this person i had been close to since i was 12/13, but frankly after everything else that happened i barely fucking think about it now LMAO. this is set dressing more than anything else

so anyway, i had been living alone since about august, that was the last time i saw him in person. i wasnt handling the situation well because i had spoken to my high school friend and found out the extent to which hed tried to paint me as a slovenly, horrible roommate, to the point of telling actual lies about really dumb stuff (which didnt work btw - my friends, god bless them, were more concerned about my mental health than anything and thought i was going down a depression spiral, which my former friend told them he was helping me through. they believed me right away once we finally did talk). all that is to say, i was going kind of crazy lol, and i decided to go back home in october just for a short while, to recharge my batteries and all.

i was gone for a couple of weeks, not very long. i felt MUCH better after being with my family & friends in person, as i felt pretty isolated from everyone (my hometown is in new york, i was only 2 hours away by train but scheduling times to visit was sort of a hassle, so i only did it once every couple months). my grandfather and mom dropped me off at my apartment in early november, we were very lighthearted and discussing my next steps, since my shithead friend had been behind on rent more than 5 times (i always paid my half on time) and i was facing eviction because of it. we get to my apartment, i go to open the door, and it wont open. not that its locked, it just straight up WONT open. my grandpa tried to ram the door with his shoulder, and nothing. hes a strong ass dude, and this door wouldnt budge for anything.

my mom managed to get the kitchen window open and climb in that way, and it took both her and my grandpa pulling/pushing at the same time to force the door open. i wont even dress this up: there was mold. fucking. everywhere. on the floor, on the walls, all over everything i owned. i have pictures (had to take them for insurance) and im not even going to show them because they are beyond fucking disgusting. everything i owned was soaked in water and mold, and i do literally mean EVERYTHING. it was very warm in there too, like the temperature of a swamp. i was in a haze after that. i just remember sobbing, like genuinely heartbroken sobbing, as i wandered around looking at everything that was ruined. my mom & grandpa had to go and get maintenance because i was just utterly useless, and they were equally horrified & said they'd never seen anything like it.

i managed to save some items that were irreplaceable (journals, notebooks, etc) and whatever clothes werent utterly soaked in mold. all of my cookware, my books, my laptop & desktop (i cried the hardest when i saw the desktop) - it was all ruined. we found out later that the water boiler in my apartment had a catastrophic failure while i was gone, which caused it to constantly send water back through the pipes, empty, and refill itself. my bedroom was directly above the boiler downstairs, so it got the most significant amount of damage. all told, i lost like 95% of the things i owned. it is possible that i could have saved more, but the amount of mold in that apartment made it a genuine safety hazard for me to even be in there, so i had very limited time to grab what i could. the cruelest irony of all that? my shithead ex-friend's room, which was on the other side of the hallway, was pretty much untouched. he lost absolutely nothing lol.

so immediately, i had to leave the state. i moved back to ny with my family. my mother - who had a stroke last year following a diagnosis of an exceedingly rare neurological disorder, AND had two separate brain surgeries to improve her quality of life - was in the process of getting evicted. the landlord didnt give a fuck about any of my moms situation, not her being disabled, not her being widowed, not her having 3 kids under the age of 18 to care for - he just wanted her out so he could increase the cost of rent on our house. at the same time as all this was going on, i got saddled with a $600 electric bill (likely caused by the water heater's malfunction), which neither insurance nor the apartment would pay, so it came out of my pocket. in addition, i found out in december that i was also getting laid off.

we had nowhere to go and couldnt afford to live anywhere in the tri-state area. we had no choice but to move somewhere much cheaper, and since my mom already had a friend living in a mid-atlantic state, we chose to move there. the eviction went through in january and we had less than 2 weeks to pack all our shit, find a place to live, and get the fuck out. needless to say, we were not successful lol.

we stayed in my grandparents 1 bedroom apartment for about a week, then all of us drove down together to stay with my moms friend in her 3 bedroom apartment (she has 5 kids, 3 of whom live in the apartment). my moms apartment, which was supposed to have been ready by january 31st, still had people actively living there. the property manager kept promising us it would be next week for the entire month of february, to the point that my mom got fed up and chose to rent a small house instead. the reality of being essentially homeless for that time was beyond horrifying, and having anywhere between 8-10 people in that house (my cousin also moved with us, but he stayed in a hotel for the first week) was more taxing than i can express.

but things have gotten a lot better since then. i also found a cute little house to rent just up the road from my moms, and its very cheap for its size. i still havent found a job yet, but thanks to what was essentially the liquidation of everything i owned, ill be ok for a couple months more. im slowly but surely repurchasing all the things i lost and trying to acclimate to the new environment. things are still not totally stable right now, but they are slowing down, and at this point thats all i can really ask for lol.

so yeah. if u were wondering why i suddenly stopped posting after literal years of posting every day, thats why LMAO

#dark lord saltine #ik this is a massive overshare but fuck it #lifes been fucking hard lol #i have legit been saying ''everything happens so much'' since this all kicked off lmao #its sort of the family motto at this point

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deadcrybabysmut · 2 years ago

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took two tabs of acid 12 hours ago and im still reeling. today has been a chaotic rollercoaster of laughter, tears, and anger—so much fucking anger.

i don't know how I would have managed to make it through the day if it weren't for the two people who understand me and see me and resonate with me the most. they grounded me. especially when i couldn't handle my trip going south when their shitty mom came home and fucked up the vibe.

anyway i wanna sort of get out what happened tonight in this post so i can essentially look back on it later 🤸🏽‍♀️

also, every one of our seven cats avoided me like the plague while tripping and that made me so fucking sad, until i realized i was probably freaking them out lmao which is understandable and if I were them I'd have told me to go fuck myself too tbh

ok so when i initially took the tabs, i was already twenty minutes into watching I Am a Hero which I lowkey was expecting to be horrific—boy was I fucking WRONG 🤡🤡🤡 this movie was too fucking funny FOR WHAT?

—had me crying about what I would do if the only foods available during the apocalypse were all the ones I hated (i would simply die bc ain't no way im eating eggs or pork or seafood like what kind of shit is that?? 😵🤮🤮) THEN I started thinking about the mfs who would get bit and not say anything! like BITCH HELLO????? WHY MUST WE SUFFER BC YOU WERE THE WEAK LIIINK???!! but then I was like lol same 🤭 bc fuck you lucky mfs. yeah, im butthurt and y'all ain't gon know until it's too late oop 💁🏽

there was also some weird "i shouldn't be a creep bc she's a high schooler and it's a crime" type moment which led to me giggling about how Hideo really almost became a meal for copping a feel??? idk shit was funny in the moment really and hearing HOW the girl got bit before all that, made it so much funnier (spoiler: it was by some stupid baby lol what a loser. to get turned by someone with six baby teeth lmfaoo couldn't be me. anyway...)

there's only one zombie I have to talk about—THAT FUCKING ATHLETIC ONE. bitch ain't no way mans was training that entire time for that fucking hard, and no one put it together???!?! I saw dude's caved in head and how he would THROW HIMSELF onto his head FOR FUN and I just KNEW we needed to keep an eye on that mf. he killed that shit tbh 🤣🤣

anyway by the end of the movie i had already cried twice about having to eat eggs if zombies were running rampant lmao and i damn near had a stroke laughing at ol girl becoming half a zombie bc of the six baby teeth that scraped the back of her neck. LIKE????? idk. fortunately, 10/10 recommend watching on acid / would do again! maybe! 👉🏼👉🏼

*just gonna throw in here that we started watching Robin Hood Men in Tights immediately after this, and if you've seen that movie, you KNOW that shit was hilarious! throw in an acid trip and it's a fucking masterpiece 💀 unfortunately we didn't get through it all because shitty mom showed up and pissed everyone off bc she refused to eat anything all day and decided it would be everyone's problem! we made her food, she didn't eat it. her husband bought her food, she didn't eat it. instead, she cried about feeling nauseous, picked a fight with her husband over nothing, then told us she was leaving to her mom's house. 😐😐 After reassuring me they were ok, I made my siblings go to bed and spent two hours talking myself down I was so fucking livid. I'm still very much wide awake and functional, but I really don't want to be soo I'm going to force myself to crash I guess???

#shut up rae #dont do drugs kids #lmao #jk don't listen to me #do what you want #but be safe #or don't #i don't know nor give a fuck just do u bro #bro i love acid lmao #psychedelics make things better #ok its 7am i need to sleep omg #bye

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livingwithlosingyou · 2 years ago

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Living with Losing You - 11/19/2022

DAMMIT JAMES. DAMMIT.

JURASSIC WORLD WAS THE SHIT.

UGH. You would have loved today. I am grateful Teague came with me though. You would have loved him, he is such a great friend. I know that you are I talked about him a few times.

Anyway, I ran 3 miles this morning, and honestly probably could have kept going. It felt super good! Right after that I quickly got ready and met Rachel for brunch. We always have a great time. She is my friend who is originally from Louisville. Her mom passed away recently, and I am so sad for her. Man, death si so tough. She made me this entire care package and baked me a chocolate peanut butter brownie. It was EVERYTHING. I ended up writing her a note with a homemade Christmas ornament in it. She opened it and said she cried because she loves Christmas and thought about honoring her in some wat with an ornament so it was perfect. God, you are good. Thanks for putting that on my heart. Sadie also got to play this morning, I didn’t even mention that. She loves her morning park days.

Okay, so. I could say so much about the Jurassic World exhibit. You would have had the best time ever. I will say, Dinosaur World still has my heart, but this was INSANE. Pictures will do it more justice than me trying to explain it all. But high level, there were so many exhibits within it. Lots of dinosaurs that were incredibly realistic looking. There were also sections you could interact with dinosaurs and the lab. If you are in SD, I recommend you check this out. There were a couple of cheesy parts, but it was mostly incredible. I made the joke to Teague that we would go to the Christmas tree farm next door. I was kind of being serious though (LOL). I love Christmas. The absolute most.

After the exhibit Teague and I walked around MV mall and grabbed lunch. It was so fun. Once I got home, I rested for about an hour and a half then went to Carlsbad to see my nephews. They were supposed to come down, but there was a change of plans, so I went up. It was nice to see them, but I was informed that I had some people in my family judging me for the LLC. It can be tough to know what to believe sometimes though. This news made me quite upset, so U definitely did cry. I was able to hold it in until after dinner though (go me!). I went to the Fish Shop and sat in our spot. That was the first time sitting there (I had eaten there a couple times since then) since your death. Ugh, man that was tough too. It didn’t really help with preventing the tears. Love that for me.

I was up there for a while, I didn’t get home until about 10:30pm, maybe even later. Either way, it was a somewhat healing process to go to the Fish Shop.

I am getting tired and will likely sign off on this soon, but I wanted to leave you all with one thing:

Everyone grieves differently. Respect what / how / who you are grieving. Take that sentiment, and then tell everyone who was being a dick to fuck off. Period. I am sorry, but also very not sorry.

I forgot mention that I was able to get 2 loads of laundry done too. I need to take out the trash and clean tomorrow. I plan to meet Stanley at the Encinitas street fair at 9:00am. My uncle’s business will also be there, so it’s like the saying “killing two birds with one stone”.

Alight, it’s bed time. I can barely keep my eyes open.

I love you, James. So so very much.

Rest in Peace, James Burton Nichols

10/1/1993 - 7/16/2022

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helliontherapscallion · 4 years ago

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Anon who’s dog had a seizure. I wanted to be able to give a positive update, but I won’t be able to. I was woken up by a call at around 1:30am from my mom and the first thing she said was “[my dogs name] died”

I don’t know all the details, I was in a full fledge panic attack and was overcome with despair when it was either explained to me or I overheard (frankly, I don’t remember) but apparently at some point either last night or veryyyyy early this morning my mom let the dog out to use the restroom, and he collapsed again similarly to how he did two days ago. My mom rushed him to the emergency vet (a thirty minute drive) but he didn’t even make it there.

I think I was dry heaving at some point because my panic was so bad. I ended up going to the vet with my dad so I could say goodbye (he had before my mom left with the dog) and ngl, going with him did not help in the slightest. My dad has NPD and he kept making the situation about himself and I stg I was ready to throw myself out the car window in the middle of the freeway and walk the rest of the way there OOP—

I was afraid we wouldn’t be able to because of Covid, but we were allowed to all head into the vet and hold him and give proper goodbyes before they took him to be cremated (they have a partnership with some place that does all that jazz). It was rough. He’s a small dog, only 18 pounds, but just holding him felt so different. There was no resistance when I picked him up (I’m not his favorite person lol, so he’d always deadpan and shuffle away a little from me before giving in whenever i’d make grabby hands hahaha) and it was just rough.

A year and a half ago my old bird passed away in that same emergency vet, so I just felt like I was suffocating the whole time. It was basically history repeating itself and I had a ✨mental breakdown✨ while cradling the pooch. My mom almost had to drag me out 2.5 hours later because I didn’t want to leave him. I tried to be strong, he was her dog in the end and they had an unbreakable bond. I should’ve been the one comforting her, not the other way around. I totally failed lol.

Thank god I was able to go home with my mom and not my dad. I wanted to be the one to drive home so she could rest, but I didn’t have the energy to protest when I saw she was already in the drivers seat.

We’ve had him since he was a few months old. I was in first grade at the time, and despite us having a very rocky start (young me didn’t like all the attention he received bc it used to be mine) he was my lil buddy and I would have done anything for him. I was looking forward to taking my senior and graduation pictures with him soon, but it seems like that won’t be happening. I just wish I did more with him.

Sorry for rambling and being so depressing! I haven’t gotten much sleep over the past two nights so I’m really out of it.

If it’s not too much to ask for, could I have a part ii of my previous request but have it involving what I wrote above? Asdfghjkl my depressed ass needs comfort and all of my friends are in school LOL. (Thank god I was called off from school this time) Plus, I don’t wanna make my mom feel worse by adding my grief on top of her own (I hope that made sense)

Part 1

(A/N): anon, I’m so sorry to hear about your dog. From what you sent me about him, he sounded like an absolute delight to be around and a very good boy. You deserve to grieve too, even if you don’t think you should. Grieving is healthy and it’s something that shouldn’t be ignored. Everyone grieves differently, so maybe you and your mom could reminisce on the good times with him? Only if you both feel comfortable doing so of course. Please get some sleep, drink plenty of water, and eat some food if you haven’t already. My DMs are always open if you ever want to talk <3

Warnings: death of a dog and bird (mentioned), panic attacks, NPD parent mention

You were jolted awake by a loud ring from your phone laying on your nightstand. It was the ringtone you specifically set for your mom. Blinking deliriously, you answered with a raspy, “mom?”

You were only met with her choked sobs on the other end. This woke you up completely as you turned on a lamp and sat up fully in your bed, “mom what’s wrong?”

“(Dog name)...” She was unable to say your dog's name before she broke into more harsh sobbing. Worry and fear pricked your gut at the mention of your dog’s name. “What about (dog name)? What’s going on?”

“He d-died, (y/n). He isn’t suffering anymore.” You felt as if ice cold water was poured onto you as you sat staring at the wall in shock. Faintly you heard your mom telling you how it happened, but you didn’t register her words. The words that came out of your mother’s mouth were nearly incomprehensible anyways due to her distress. You didn’t know when she hung up, but the next time you looked at the phone screen your homescreen met you: a picture of you, Techno, Wilbur, and Tommy at an amusement park.

Your panic attack had escalated to you dry heaving over the toilet after puking up your dinner. You felt like you were suffocating as you remembered the techniques Techno used a few days prior. You stumbled up from a crouch and scrambled over to the sink. Your hands could barely grab the faucet and turn it on as you lost most of your sense of spatial awareness and everything you touched felt distant, like every single synapse in your body was both simultaneously working in overdrive and failing at the same time. The water was as cold as it was going to get, so you plunged your hands into the liquid and felt your body jolt at the temperature. After a while, your hands turned numb after regaining some senses back so you shakily cupped your hands under the faucet and gathered water into your hands. You splashed it at your face and felt yourself becoming more grounded as time passed.

By the time you left the bathroom, your dad gathered you into the car and started to drive you to the emergency vet. The entire time he was ranting about how you needed to pull yourself together because the dog was closer to him than to you. That definitely did not help in any way, it made you want to jump out of the car and walk the rest of the way to the vet. It would be better than having someone constantly belittling you for grieving. The ride was hell, but you persevered for (dog name). You needed to say goodbye to him.

When you left the car and walked into the building, it felt as if you were walking through the nine rings of hell with blazing infernos licking at your skin with every step. Dread and despair filled and overwhelmed you with every step.

When a nurse escorted you to the room, she offered you her condolences and left you to say goodbye. With wide eyes, you slowly walked over to your mom and saw the motionless bundle of fur in her hands. It looked like he was sleeping, but you knew better. She looked at you with so much heartbreak and sadness as tears slipped down her cheeks that you remembered that he was her dog in the end and they’ve always had an unbreakable bond. You needed to be strong for her.

Your stony facade broke the second your mom handed you (dog name). He was cold and stiff as he laid unmoving in your arms, not even trying to wiggle out of your embrace like he always did. You were never his favorite person. He felt so… different. So wrong.

Time passed around you as you held him and cried into his fur. This situation was very similar to your previous one that happened about a year and a half ago when your bird passed away and that was what finally sent you over the edge. Before you knew it, your mom was dragging you out of the building so he could get cremated. Your dad had long since gone home so he could get ready for work, so that left you to ride home with your mom. Not that you were complaining, it was certainly better than riding home with your dad. You just wished that you could drive so she could get some rest.

By time you got home, it was about the same time you would leave for school. As you were driving down your neighborhood, you saw a very familiar car pass you. It was Techno, Wilbur, and Tommy’s car. They were probably going to school. You kept your head down and stared intensely at your tightly clasped hands.

The second the car was in park in your driveway, you made a beeline for your room. For the rest of the day, you hid underneath your covers and ignored the incessant buzzing of your phone on the nightstand. You spent that time alone having a panic attack. This was your longest and most intense one yet, by the time it finally calmed down it was 10:30 at night.

You smacked your dry lips together and feel absolutely drained. The buzzing still wouldn’t let up, so you reached out with a shaky hand and opened your phone. You had at least eighty combined missed texts from Wilbur, Tommy, and Techno.

Tuesday, Innit?

Yo, the fuck’s goin on?

Why the hell did you ignore us when we passed you???

Music man take me by the hand lead me to the land

Ignore that dumbass

What’s going on? You weren’t at school today

(Y/n)?

Technology Sword

You don’t have to tell us what happened if you’re not comfortable

Just tell us if you’re okay

That was only the start of the messages in the group chat. Granted it was mostly Tommy spamming your name and Wilbur and Techno trying to get him to chill out, but some of the messages managed to calm the swirling panic inside of you slightly. Your phone buzzed as you got another text. This time, it was an individual one from Technoblade.

Technology Sword

Look out your window, grab your notebook

You raised your eyebrows slightly as you read the message. Your window was right across from Technoblade’s, so when you saw Taylor Swift’s “You Belong With Me” music video and showed it to Techno, you both decided that this would be your primary communication before you eventually got phones. It wasted a ton of paper, but you both felt like the main characters in a story so you kept doing it. You hadn’t done this since you got your phone and he got his.

After you grabbed your spare notebook and a sharpie, you sat up in your bed and turned on your lamp. When you opened your curtains, you saw Techno smiling at you before he grabbed his notebook and wrote ‘hello’.

You uncapped your marker, wrote ‘hi’, and shakily raised it to him. You saw him frown at your shakiness, he wrote ‘you okay?’

You stared at your paper for a bit contemplating whether or not you should tell him the truth. It was no use in lying to him, he knew you better than you knew yourself. After a moment, you wrote ‘no’.

You watched as he frowned and his eyebrows crinkled together in an upwards slant. ‘Discord?’

‘Sure’

You closed your curtains once more and opened up your PC. You could already see that Techno, Wilbur, and Tommy were in a separate voice channel. When you joined, you were startled by Tommy’s loud screaming and Wilbur’s hysterical laughter.

“WILBUR YOU PRICK WHY THE FUCK DID YOU DO THAT I WORKED SO HARD GETTING THAT NETHERITE!”

They were interrupted by a knock on Tommy’s door, “Tommy for the love of god it’s almost eleven at night kiddo. You can keep playing but please just keep it down.”

“SORRY DADZA!”

“Good job dumbass,” Wilbur chuckled.

“Hey (y/n), how’re you?” Techno’s somewhat pointed voice interrupted them. “(Y/N)! Please tell Wilbur that it’s not cool to borrow my armor and ‘accidentally’ fall into a lava lake.”

“It was an accident I swear!” Wilbur’s slight chuckle told you otherwise. “Wilbur,” your croaky and wobbly voice scolded him quietly, “not cool.”

The voice channel went silent as you logged into your shared minecraft server. You immediately spawned in the main lobby at spawn that you built the last time you logged in. You got to work gathering wood for walls you were going to build around the city. You saw Techno’s character run to you and help you gather wood.

“...You good, (y/n)?” Tommy’s voice took on an uncharacteristic level of gentleness and concern.

“‘M fine.”

After a while of silence, you heard keyboards start to click again. Gradually conversation started back up and everything felt lighthearted once more. Though, you only talked when you were prompted to. After gathering the correct amount of wood, you and Techno went back to your house so you could craft some slabs. However as you approached the crafting table, you passed your bed. Next to your bed was your pet dog, barking slightly and looking at you with it’s pixel eyes.

You could feel tears well up in your eyes at the sight of the pixelated dog. With a lump forming in your throat you struggled to breathe through it, your breaths coming out shuttering. You made quick work of muting yourself on Discord and started sobbing, the white dog staring at you sitting on top of your minecraft bed. This wasn’t a panic attack, you knew that. But you still felt overcome by a massive wave of grief.

After a bit, you saw Techno’s character pop in front of you and start hitting the air. In chat, you saw that he private messaged you ‘vc 2’

You clicked off the main voice chat and was immediately greeted by Techno’s gentle voice. “What’s goin on buddy?” He was only met with your sobs, “deep breaths.”

“I’m not having a panic attack.”

“Still, deep breaths are good. Follow me.” With that, you two worked on getting your breathing back to normal and your tears slowly stopped. The entire time he was giving you praise and gentle reassurances whenever you tried to apologize to him. By the time you stopped crying you felt almost completely drained.

“You okay now?” You hummed in confirmation, too tired to say anything. “Thank you Tech, I-I’m sorry-”

“Stop apologizing for feeling emotions. They’re one hundred percent valid… Do you feel comfortable telling me what happened?”

“I…” You trailed off as you couldn’t bring yourself to say the words out loud. “You don’t have to tell me, ya know.” Technoblade gently reminded you.

“I’ll PM it to you.” With that, you PMed him on minecraft explaining that your dog died this morning. “Fuck, I’m so sorry (y/n). I’m sure he isn’t suffering anymore. Did- did they ever find out what caused the seizures?”

“No, but… he had tons of health issues that I’m glad he doesn’t have to deal with anymore.”

“Do you wanna talk about the good times with him with Wil and Tommy? If you don’t want to we can just talk about them here.”

“Let’s rejoin the main voice channel.”

“Hey (y/n), how’re you doing?” Wilbur gently asked you. “I’m alright, do- do you guys know what happened?” They both said yes. Technoblade must’ve told them what was happening.

“(Y/n) come outside. We built something for you.” Tommy was uncharastically gentle.

When you moved to go outside of your minecraft house and Wilbur and Tommy led you to an empty spot in the city you four were building, you stopped in your tracks. In front of you built in various types of stone was a dog statue. In front of it stood a sign that read ‘in loving memory of (dog name)’.

“We aren’t done with it, but we can finish it in a couple of hours,” Wilbur mumbled into the microphone.

“No, it’s perfect as it is. I don’t know what to say guys…”

“You don’t have to say anything, just know that we’re here for you.” Tommy said, his minecraft character walking over to your own and hitting you.

“Oi, don’t hit them!” Techno punched him back and that started an all out brawl between the two. It quickly ended when Techno pulled out his fully enchanted netherite sword named ‘Orphan Obliterator’.

“Get fucked, nerd.” You could just tell Tommy was holding in screaming at his brother. “I’m not the nerd here, you’re the one that reads for fun.” Tommy retorted. You heard shuffling on Techno’s end and him walking away from his PC. You were about to ask what was happening before you heard Tommy silently scream in terror. “Oh fuck he’s coming!” You assumed that Tommy ran to lock his door. Not long after that you heard a knock, “I just wanna talk.”

“No! You-”

“I just wanna talk.”

“Let him talk, Tommy!”

“NO WILBUR.”

You heard Philza’s groggy muffled voice, “it is midnight on a Friday. I don’t care what happens or who fights who, just do it in your own rooms and do it quietly.”

“Sorry Dad,” you heard Techno’s retreating steps before he returned to his chair. “You’re a douche, Technoblade.”

“I just wanted to talk, Tommy.” At that, Techno started beating Tommy to death once more. Each time he would kill Tommy, he would give Tommy a small head start before he would find him again. While this was happening, Wilbur PMed you ‘wanna prank Tommy and Techno? I’m thinking we put chickens under their houses’.

You looked at his player and nodded. You and Wilbur got to work luring chickens into holes you dug around their bases and burying them so that they were close enough to hear, but deep enough for it to be mildly inconvenient finding them. After you two were done with that, you met at spawn again.

“Techno stop killing Tommy. We want to tell stories about (dog name).” You saw Techno’s character sprint to your group and Tommy’s come up from a hole in the ground. “I was just about to find him.”

“Thank you! God, I hate it when he does that.”

The rest of the night you four spent reminiscing on the funny things that (dog name) did over the years. At some points you even laughed along with them. After you told them that you wanted to take your senior pictures with him, Techno offered to edit him into your photos. You didn’t know when you passed out but when you woke up, you had a crick in your neck and your PC monitor was off. You could hear three sets of soft snoring on the other end of the call. You felt yourself drifting off to their gentle breathing and smiled slightly; with them, everything felt better.

#sbi x reader #sleepy bois x reader #sleepy bois inc x reader #technoblade x reader #wilbur soot x reader #tommyinnit x reader #mcyt x reader #dream smp x reader #sbi family au #requests #hellion's requests #tw: panic attack #tw: anxiety #tw: animal death #tw: animal injury #tw: swearing

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speremint · 4 years ago

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The haircut ordeal story I forgot to tell yesterday bc I was busy

So I went to get a haircut at this sweet little hole-in-the-wall Korean salon that was doing private, individual bookings. The hairdresser's name is Min, and she's v energetic and peppy, but English is obviously not her first language, which is fine, but I mention this because it's pertinent later.

Min was hilarious, very nice, tbh complimented me a lot, but I stg she thought I was a doctor JKLSDJF she thought I was some sort of 23 year old prodigy doctor, and so she was like "oh you're beautiful, smart, and a doctor!!" and I was like no... I'm an artist actually, and she was like "oh... well at least you're beautiful"

thank you, I guess, LOL

I mentioned during the haircut that I was visiting my partner afterwards, and so throughout the haircut she was giving me relationship advice and p much was like "if he doesn't respect you, break up with him because you can do way better!!" And when she had finished my haircut, it was very sweet, bc I was super excited bc it looks great, and she was like "just say 'thank you, mom!'" and I nearly cried bc wow, she's so sweet...

But, and here's where it gets wild.

Come time to pay, her machine is broken. So after letting her try to reset it, I finally googled the error message, and saw the OS was out of date... so I offered to call the company for her because old people with technology is bad enough, but a language barrier for a machine her husband set up in her stead is even worse.

When I tried to talk to her husband to get the email address the device was registered under, he straight up fucking ask if I was "the help", so I straight up wanted to kill him after that, but anyway, I put the phone down and managed to get the tech support woman to surpass the email bc I explained I was a customer, which she found super sweet, so she was very accommodating.

In short, I spent 2 hours at this hairdresser trying to fix her damn PAX machine because her idiot husband fucking set up the wrong IP address/ports, and then, after ALL of that, it was still broken because he registered it incorrectly.

Which meant I had to walk to the nearest ATM to get cash, to of which some creeps in trucks honked at me, and I got blisters bc I was wearing heels.

The entire time she was apologizing and just v obviously nervous and embarrassed, and I'm like fam it's totally fine, it's no worries at all... and when I was leaving she literally dumped like half of her candy bowl in my pockets

jdskfjek I don't even eat candy, really... I just accepted it bc she felt so bad...

So I finally get to my (now ex) partner's house, and I was relaying this story to him, and he goes "Wait did you visit Min's? I go there! ...Wait she told you to break up with me??" (it turns out she was absolutely right)

TL;DR: my first visit to this private salon i tried to help fix her card machine for over an hour after she gave me relationship advice that was basically just “break up with him, you can do better”, and via phone with her husband/walking to an ATM, experienced random-ass microaggressions and then, finally arriving at my (now ex) partner’s apartment, found out he also goes to the same hairstylist and is a regular, so she was basically telling me to break up with him sdjfkle

#Personal #this was so wild sorry to post it here

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princess-pill-enjoyer · 2 years ago

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Ended up taking all the spare pills I had in my bag. I took 200 before I left for the uh "looseness" effect of it. Which worked pretty well. Talking and joking around wasn't too too hard. But the extra 450 I took throughout the event was purely for the high. Not even gonna front

I got to drink a bit with my uh god grandma. Originally I was popping more to heighten the diluted ass liquor but after a while I just gave up on drinking snd just popped em as I thought about it. I don't get why I don't ever get that much of an effect from alcohol actually. Maybe I do but with me being used to being fucked off dph I don't notice the effects as much. Or cause the adults seem to like light light buzzes over being drunk so it wasn't that strong anyway. Tho.. I don't really drink so I'd figure I'd be an ultra lightweight. I dunno lol

It was nice to see everyone after all this time. It's kinda odd to see some of em for the first time in like.. 10 years? Something like that. I don't see my mom's side of the family often at all so my mental image of them versus what they actually look like now was a little off. Twas good to get an updated look you know?

Tho since I'm not really close with them they were bringing up my old uni not knowing I dropped out like half a year ago now. It made me feel like shit ngl. If I didn't come there with someone I would've either dipped early to cry or just run away in general. I just like.. I dunno. I know if they knew me and everything going on they'd see me as a fucking loser and I can't even blame them. I feel so gross just thinking about all that.

Stressing my god grandma out was the only reason I didn't. She was my ride so me not coming back would make her go nuts tryna find me/feel like shit for not keeping an eye on me. I didn't want to put that on her. So I ended up just taking dose after dose tryna make it harder to think.

Only semi worked as for one, I was only taking 100/150 extra at a time and while I did the majority of that before like 3-4ish it was still semi spaced out + around other people mode kicked in kicked in which made me subconsciously hide and brush off the high anyway. Actually the only one that semi fucked me up was the final 100 I had left that I took around 7. I was already teary-eyed thinking about what R said and I just had multiple family members chatting about my college shit. I would've just cried and taken extra care to wipe my eyes frequently buut I didn't trust myself to do it without getting too caught up and sobbing so I took the 100 as a distraction. It worked out pretty alr I was able to not cry at all and we dipped soon after

As for now I just woke back up from a nap. I wasn't really that tired but the high from all the pills was still there so I just went to sleep instead of building onto it. I think I was sleep for a good 4 hours so it was lowkey a full night's rest. Probably won't be going back to bed for a while..

Plus, lowkey feel like I'm gonna puke. My stomach started to burn again and I'm sure it's from the alcohol-benadryl concoction it had to put up with today. I figure I might as well let that settle first as to not puke it up and waste more pills

I don't know what I want to do anymore. On one hand I know I'm going to have to cry and beg my mom to let me borrow money from her. I don't want to but I know if I let that uni debt shit fester they'd be pissed once they found out. It's gonna be hard to cry in front of her. I know if I asked in my normal/casual tone she'd look at me worse though. I'll have to figure that out. Past that, I don't know what'll be my next move. All I want to do is od on this shit and finally be free. Tho, ig that's a bit dire. I think everyone would be mad at me throwing in the towel this early on. But it's all I want atp. I'm tired of feeling like this and I don't care enough to make some miraculous comeback. I'm over it atp

#vent #dph #benadryl #diphenhydramine #dph addiction

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amazingphanisnotonfire-imagines · 4 years ago

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Archie//sometimes the smallest things take up the most room in your heart

Request: Hey agian lol sorry I was also wondering if you could do 2 archie andrew imagines where the reader gets pregnant and tells archie in a cute way, skip to where they find out the gender, then the birth and Archie makes a promise to reader and their baby and proposes to the reader also archie does skin to skin contact

hey! so, this was fun to write! i hope you like! there’s a lot of baby themed things being posted right now, i must have had an influx of baby requests. also, title is a winnie the pooh quote, so credit to that adorable yellow bear i guess. he really has way with words doesn’t he?

Andrew’s construction is in popular demand these days, the legacy of Fred Andrews has travelled far and wide through the surrounding towns of Riverdale, and Archie feels like he hasn’t stopped in the last month. He goes to work before you wake up, comes home when it’s dark, eats, showers and sleeps.

Today is no different, and as he drags his feet up the steps to your apartment, keys jingling in his hands as he goes over what he has left to do on the build he’s currently doing, his eyes get heavier with each step.

He expects you to be waiting by the door, or pottering about in the kitchen when he walks through the front door, but there’s no one there. The lights are switched off, causing a frown to form on his face.

The first thing he feels is panic, but then he hears you coming out of the bathroom, a bright smile on your face as you near him and he feels himself relax.

“Hey babe.” You greet and wrap your arms around his neck. He kisses you slowly and you feel a blush creep up your cheeks. “How has your day been?” You ask and grab his coat from him.

“It was alright. We’re almost finished the house, hopefully it’ll be done in the next few days, so maybe next weekend we can get away somewhere.” He replies making you grin. “Right now though, I need a shower.” He sighs and untangles himself from you, cringing when he realizes just how bad he needs one.

“Wait!” You grab his hand and he looks at you confused. “I need to give you something first.” You add and pull him into the small dining room. Candles line the room, making him furrow his eyebrows as he looks at you. “Okay, close your eyes.” You tell him and he sends you a look before reluctantly closing his eyes.

You take a deep breath, feeling your heartbeat in your throat as you pick up the small box hidden on one of the chairs.

“Hold your hands out.” You instruct and he does, slightly apprehensive of what you’re going to do.

“If this is a spider I swear to God, Y/n.” He teases making you giggle.

“It’s not I promise. Just give me your hands.” You say and he shifts uncomfortably, but holds his hands out anyway. “Okay.” You place the box in his hands and he squeezes it. “Open them!”

His eyes snap open and he looks down at the small white box. He looks between it and you before pulling the lid off. A small bear stares back at him and for a moment he’s confused as to why you’ve given him his childhood Winnie the Pooh bear to him as a present. But then he notices what he’s holding and his eyes widen.

“Holy shit.” He whispers and picks the white stick up. “Are you?” He squints while reading the small screen. “positive...are you pregnant?” Tears blur his vision but he can just make out you nodding and he grins at you.

“Don’t worry, I cleaned the test before I put it in the bo-” A squeal leaves your lips as he picks you up and spins you around. Tears roll down his cheeks while he laughs loudly.

“I love you so fucking much.” He mumbles against your lips. You run your fingers through his hair, and his eyes flutter closed.

“I love you too.” You reply and pull him in for another kiss.

---

“Go ahead.” The bell above the door rings, alerting the few people sitting in Pop’s of your arrival. Archie presses a kiss to your head and squeezes your hand before ordering.

You take a quick glance around, trying to find an empty booth for the two of you to sit and celebrate in, but when your eyes land on a certain blonde and beanie clad couple, your eyes light up and all thoughts of private moment are gone.

“What are you guys doing back?” You ask, pleasantly surprised and Betty and Jughead stop their conversation. Your smiles mirror each other as they stand up to hug you, and you feel tears spring to your eyes. “Sorry guys.” You wipe at them and Betty looks at you concerned. “It’s the hormones. Although, I am really happy that you’re back.” You send them a watery smile and they look at you sympathetically.

“Here.” Jughead hands you a napkin and you take it gratefully.

“Thanks.” You slide into the seat opposite them, resting a gentle hand on the top of your bump.

“We’re just visiting our parents.” Betty explains. “My mom’s been on the phone every single day for the past two weeks so I thought I’d come down for the weekend so she’ll leave us alone for a bit.” She explains and you roll your eyes.

“I see she still isn’t quite over the two of you moving.”

“You’re telling me.” She sips her milkshake while huffing.

“It’s not like we moved half way across the country. We’re an hour and a half drive.” Jughead adds through a mouthful of food and you pull a face.

“Jughead, Betty!” Archie grins while placing your drinks down on the table. “What are you doing back.”

“Alice.” The three of you reply and he shakes his head, a small laugh escaping his lips.

“Oh.”

“Yeah.” Betty nods. “Anyway, how are you guys? What have you been up to?” She asks and you and Archie share a look. He places a hand on your bump and you give it a squeeze.

“We went to the doctors today for a scan.” Archie starts and a soft smile twitches at your lips.

“Oh you’re twenty weeks now!” Betty squeals making Jughead jump slightly as she leans forward. “Do you know what you’re having?”

“Nope.” You shake your head and she slumps in her seat. “The doctor wrote it down but we haven’t looked at it yet.” You add and she picks her head up, her eyebrow raises as she glances between you and the bag sat beside you.

“Nope!” Archie picks it up before she has the chance to grab it and she sits back down with a loud huff.

“Meanie. I think as the auntie and uncle of your baby, we have a right to know what it is.” She crosses her arms and you roll your eyes at her.

You may have all grown up, moved away and gotten actual lives. But whenever your back together in Riverdale, you all revert back to teenagers winding each other and everyone else up.

“Hey babe?” Archie interrupts yours and Betty’s small argument and you send her a glare before facing your boyfriend. “Where’s the envelope?”

“What?!” Your eyes widen and you grab the bag from him. Jughead and Betty lean over the table and watch you empty your bag. “No, no, no.” You mumble and shake the worn leather.

“It’s fine.” Archie tries to calm you down. “Isn’t it fine guys.”

“Yes.” Jughead nods.

“Totally fine.” Betty adds and searches through the pile of things on the table. “It’s got to be here somewhere.”

“Hey, do any of you guys know why somebody would just have the world ‘girl’ in an envelope?” Reggie drags a chair up to your table and everyone goes silent. “Because, even I know that’s weird.” He continues and drops the paper on the table.

Black curly writing faces the four of you and you all stare down in shock, it takes a few minutes before Archie breaks the silence. A shocked laugh escapes his lips and he looks at you, tears forming in his eyes.

“We’re having a girl?” He says and you nod.

“Yeah.” You laugh. “I suppose we are.” He cuts you off with a kiss and Betty and Jughead share a look, clinking their glasses together.

---

“Y/n. I have loved you since we were 16. I love how smart you are, and how you’re always the funniest person in the room. Your smile is just my favourite thing to look at, it makes me smile just thinking about it. You’ve made me a better man, and now a father, so I would like to make you my wife. Y/n Y/l/n, will you marry m-OW!”

“Are you seriously asking me to marry you while I’m giving birth?” You seethe and squeeze his hand.

“I thought it was romantic.” He argues and pulls his fingers from your grip. He’s about to continue when you send him a glare that quickly shuts him up, maybe even forever.

“Birth is not romantic. It is the furthest thing from romantic and when I’ve finished this I swear I’m going to tear your head from your shoulders, shove it in the hole and then see how you like pushing something of that size out of you.” His eyes widen at your threat and he gulps a little.

The midwives and doctor surrounding you stifle their laughs at your words, all of them excited to tell their co-workers the newest insult to go on their wall of insults that’s been hurled at partners.

“Sorry.” He mumbles and rubs the back of his neck awkwardly. “You’re doing amazing babe.” He strokes the top of your head and you groan loudly as another contraction hits.

“That’s it Y/n, keep pushing. Well done.” The midwife talks you through it and you grit your teeth as you push again.

“Why do you have your boobs out?” You ask through you’re panting and Archie looks down at his bare chest.

“The midwife said it would help bonding.” He shrugs and you stare at him.

“With who? The midwife?”

“No.” He shakes his head. “The baby.” You’re about to argue when another contraction cuts you off and Archie’s bonding is the least of your problems.

“Fuck!” You curse and Archie grimaces at the noises you’re making. If he could swap places with you, he would in an instant. He hates seeing you in pain, even if you just get a paper cut, so this is killing him, even if he does know after it’ll be worth it.

With a few more pushes and lot more curses, you finally give birth to a 7lb baby, born at 8:17am with bright brown eyes and head full of blonde hair.

“Do you think she’ll turn ginger?” You ask through sobs as she’s carefully handed to you.

“I hope so.” Archie cries. “Although, I don’t really care. I’ll love her no matter what.” He adds and wipes the tears from his eyes.

“Archie?” You ask and he looks at you, both of your eyes full of love and awe. “I will marry you.” You say, a tired smile twitching at your lips while your head falls onto his shoulder, pressing a soft kiss to it. “Would you like to hold her?” You ask and he nods eagerly.

“I’m always going to be here for you and you’re mom...I promise.” He starts, and walks over to the window looking over the car park and the rest of Riverdale. “You are the most loved thing in this world and I am already so proud of you. I love you.” Archie whispers, the chatter from the nursers and the curses from you all fade away as he stares down at her. Her wide eyes look back at him, they pierce through him and stare straight at his soul. “Hi, Winifred, welcome to the world.”

✨tagged ✨

@moxleybabe

#archie #archie imagine #archie x reader #archie andrews #archie andrews imagine #archie andrews x reader #archie andrews x you #archie andrews aesthetic #riverdale #riverdale imagine

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bitchiha · 4 years ago

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i need some fluff huhu. can i have naruto with mom reader hc or imagines? thank u 😍

A/N: ive never done anything like this before but I like this idea 10/10

Also special credit / mention to @softnaruto because we talked about some of these ideas but w Iruka not a mother figure lol

✎ Being Narutos Mother Figure *sparkles but they’re on fire bc this is chaotic*

Overall, before I get into the details, I’d say this is a very chaotic task lol. You’re probably half dead after dealing w his ass for so long, but seeing this boy that you thought of as your own son grow up before your eyes is so rewarding. It’s great, so wholesome 100/10.

You and Iruka definitely co-parent

Naruto would be constantly protecting you from Jiraiya. Like he doesn’t want the man near you. Runs over to you whenever Jiraiya is nearby and starts screaming “Missus Y/N, run! Pervy Sage is here, I’m doing you a favour, believe it!” No but in all seriousness, take Narutos advice because I know Pervy Sage is tryna hit it.

You end up having to talk to Jiraiya eventually though because you need to know what’s going on with Naruto and the Akatsuki and what you can do to help. Naruto will watch over the interactions like a hawk. Will whip a chopstick at Jiraiya if he tries anything on you, “Back it up pervy Sage! I said three meters apart, there’s no excuse!” So you’d have to meet eachother in secret because you won’t be able to discuss much when the blondies around.

Also, the amount of times you’ve chased his ass around the village after he got into some major trouble is too many times to count. He’s running as fast as he can away from you because he knows you’re gonna whoop his ass lol. Probably even uses his shadow clones, but you know better than to fall for those stupid tricks. No but fr, it’s a really good workout tbh you probably ran a marathon.

You treat him to ramen whenever he comes back from a mission. Sometimes Iruka comes along as well and you both alternate who pays the bill. Naruto always challenges you to a ramen eating competition. Luckily Iruka is there to hold you two back because he knows neither of you are financially stable enough to endure that damage to your wallets.

Literally everyone; Konoha 11, kakashi, iruka, Jiraiya, Tsunade, etc... always threaten Naruto by saying that they’ll tell y/n he’s not cooperating. It works like a charm everytime. There’s no way he wants to hear you lecture him for a good 2 hours. He’d rather get rasenganed into the face than listen to your horrible attempts at being wise.

You always ruffle Narutos hair when you see him. It’s like your signature sign of affection. You also call him “kid” all the time or “youngster” even though you’re like the same age as Kakashi and therefore not old yourself.

He calls you miss. He sometimes calls you Aunty y/n. Refuses to just call you y/n because he wants to be respectful, he looks up to you as a figure of guidance no matter how much he’ll deny it. So no matter how many times you tell him not to call you miss, he will.

Lots of walks! Like you’ll wait for him with Iruka at the village gate when Narutos supposed to return from a mission. It’s like parents picking up their kid from a field trip aweeee. You’ll pack some snacks for the three of you and he fills you in on his missions. He’ll always be like, “Awe no way! Thanks Missus Y/N. You’re the best!” When you give him all the food you packed.

He always comes to you for advice or to rant to you about Sasuke, Sai, Sakura and literally all the other Konoha 11. Lol, but he will rant about you to Iruka and Jiraiya all the time, little does he know you do the same.

Would purposely set you into mama bear mode on Sai for his own amusement. Like he just gets a kick out of watching you confront Sai about calling Naruto some absurd obscenity and watch poor Sai just stand there like: (°_°) lol what do I do? Naruto is snickering behind a tree because he just made that all up. Yamato probably has to intervene when he sees it. Will have to woodstyle justu you when he realizes you’re in mama bear mode.

Hes such a troublesome rat. You love him though. He’s your troublesome rat-son.

Naruto is used to you being hot headed like Tsunade when he gets into trouble, but if you ever take the disappointed route instead, he will cry lol. Like he hates that you’re actually disappointed with him, he didn’t mean to trick you into yelling at Sai, please forgive him.

All celebrations are done with Kakashi, Iruka, Naruto and yourself. Since you all don’t really have any real family to celebrate with, you’ve made your own. It’s so chaotic tho lol.

These events are always ‘surprises for Naruto’ so the cooking is up to you and Kakashi, but Kakashi is so fast at cooking he doesn’t even let you do anything. You have to physically stop him so you could do some of the work. Meanwhile Iruka sets up decorations for the event and he’s probably singing festive songs LOOL. Plus he can’t sing so it’s an extra headache ontop of you yelling at Kakashi to let you do some work.

Then you all surprise Naruto with your half burnt food (while you were fighting the food most definitely lit on fire) and extremely cheesy decorations. Oddly Iruka even decorated the floor. Like wtf. Anyways, Naruto doesn’t really care about how bad it actually was, he was just happy to have people around him that cared enough to invite him to a celebration.

The food is inedible so you go to Ichirakus instead and somehow persuade Iruka into paying for all four of you <3 this happens every holiday so he ends up just saving his money in preparation for it.

Naruto tries to be a matchmaker for you LMFAO. He tries to get you and Iruka together which ends so awkwardly omg, then he’ll try and get you and kakashi together which was even more awkward and DONT get me started on Yamato omg.. He was so nervous he just stared at you the whole time like a googley eyed tree frog or something. Each time you catch onto Naruros little Cupid schemes you tell him to buzz off and that you’re not interested, but he doesn’t listen.

Your other holiday celebrations may be badly executed, but you actually host the best birthdays for him!! You pair up with Tsunade, Shizune, Kakashi, Iruka and Sakura to throw him really memorable birthdays. They may not make up for all the ones he missed celebrations for already, but you do your best to make these extra memorable.

At the end of the night after every birthday party, you walk him home and pat his shoulder sadly talking about how he’s growing up so fast. You probably end up crying because you're sad the little doofus is maturing somewhat. You tell him that and he laughs. Once you’re at his apartment door he’ll grin tiredly and give you a big hug. “Thanks again, aunty y/n.” You probably cry again on the way home bc he actually hugged you. That’s so sentimental omg. That is roughly about what happens every single birthday.

For your birthdays he treats you to ramen and gets you some weird kitchen gadget or something. Figures you’re an adult and they probably need these things. You don't, but you appreciate the gift anyway.

He buys you flowers every Mother’s Day. It makes you so emotional. You definitely cry. “Awe missus y/n! Not again. You’re so emotional.” He probably starts crying too though lol.

It breaks his heart to see you cry omg. Poor baby is like a lost puppy when you cry. Like not you’re over exaggerated crying, but your said painful crying. Once, after hearing some distressing news about the Akatsuki, you just break down. Naruto has become a son to you after all and you want to protect him so badly, but how can you do that when you’re up against powerful rouge ninjas? You cried in front of him for the when you two were having your weekly dinners at your place, all the sudden you just burst out crying and it hurt him so much because he knew it was because you were so worried about him.

Honestly, he probably ruffles your hair —like you do to him — in attempt to cheer you up. “It’s okay, Aunty y/n. I’ll take care of it, everything will be okay, believe it!”

Oh yah also, speaking of weekly dinners! You guys definitely get together at least once a month or if it’s a good time, once a week to have dinner. We all know Naruto only survives on ramen, so you try and cook him healthy food, but my god he resists so hard. Then you give him that warning look and he chows down that salad so fast lol.

It would be 10/10 he's a great kid

#naruto shippuden #naruto #naruto headcanons #naruto imagines #naruto x reader #incorrect naruto quotes #kakashi hakate #iruka umino #jirayia

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thatpinkbetch · 4 years ago

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Bkdk Fic Rec

I’ve been inspired to write a fic rec! This one goes out to you @lonely-rabbit

At like, the end of 2018 and the beginning of 2019 I stayed up until 4am every night reading fics, and because I’m such a loser, I made a word doc to keep track of all of them so I wouldn’t forget them.... I tried organizing it by length but it got messy cause I’m ridiculous and cluttered, so sorry! (I’ll save my own for the end alskdjflsdkfj gotta self promote you know). This is going to get...really long, so I’ll put it under a read more! Also, just a heads up, these are all on ao3, in case that’s important to anyone!

Disclaimer: Any fics with mature or explicit content I will add a bolded warning for, even if it’s only a little bit. Normally most fics will be tagged as such, but some fics that are rated as teen I’ve found to be more suggestive than some of those rated as mature, so I will try to point it out where it feels necessary, for anyone who wishes to avoid it.

Fics under 1k:

Illuminate by TheQueen (269 words)

Summary: Bakugou watches the first firework launch and fights to keep his face neutral

Very short, plot is about a case of amnesia, also very cute and well written for that length! Not angsty at all imo

sweaty hands holding secrets - shounentwink (563 words)

Summary: Someone said Midoriya holds secrets in his hair.

It’s not true: He holds it tightly in his hands. Bakugou’s seen it.

I really like this writer! You’ll see quite a bit of them in this post alkdsjfalskdjf

Fics 1k - 10k:

Many sunflowers later - Jeka (2395 words)

Summary: Scholar Midoriya Izuku comes back to the person he left behind after his journey through the kingdom, the mighty dragon clan leader Bakugou Katsuki.

Day 1 of Twin Stars Week 2020: Fantasy AU.

First of all, fantasy au!!! Second of all, jeka!!! (I need to read more of your stuff!!) Anyways, so cute, such lovely, pretty writing, wonderful story telling, and they’re so in love TT_TT

Boom Badoom Boom - warschach (3429 words)

Summary: Izuku's working the kissing booth at the school fair, it just so happens Katsuki has been crushing on him since the first grade.

“Did you—“ Izuku parted his mouth with no sound leaving it, “Did you pay?”

“Yea.”

“For a kiss?”

This one’s a little silly but I love it still. It’s got a “kids in the 80′s over summer vacation” vibe, I think. I love warschach! I should read more of their writing... They have SUCH good bakudeku content! *It’s rated teen but there’s some suggestive content, just a heads up!

Hopeless Ramen-tic - lalazee (7155 words)

Summary: Midoriya is a cute guy who works at a ramen stall and Bakugou is thirsty as hell, but has to hide it by being an asshat. Another love story.

Ah, so good TT_TT so much sass, such good plot development and story telling for a simple concept *It’s rated as teen but again, it can be suggestive at times!

I’ll share this with you, so leave it behind - yabakuboi (3508 words)

Suammry: For the sake of the story, All Might is never in need of a successor, and, when Izuku saves Katsuki from the sludge monster, encourages young Midoriya down a different path. Thus, Katsuki and Izuku part ways after junior high, as Katsuki enters U.A. and the Midoriyas move overseas. It’s later that Katsuki realizes that there’s something missing, that he drove that something away.

Years after, Katsuki finds him in the last place he looks, in the cereal aisle at the local grocery store of their childhood neighborhood.

So soft, so sweet, so good if you just want to curl up in a comfy blanket and drink hot cocoa and feel warm and cozy and a little in love

The Secret Deku Box - yabakuboi (2241 words)

Summary: “Y’know, Bakugou never, ever talks about girls,” Kaminari says, his voice thoughtful.

“And I wonder why that is.” Ashido rolls her eyes.

“I’m just curious!” Kaminari whines. Kirishima drags the box out, unlabeled and unassuming, the lid not even fully clasped over the edges. “The guy has to— Whoa, what’s that?”

Kirishima realizes a little belatedly that this is a serious breach of privacy, and Bakugou will actually murder all of them. “Nothing!” he cries, attempting to shove it back under the bed, but Ashido snatches it away.

“Please be his porn stash!” Kaminari whispers as she whips the lid off.

Cute, funny, in canon, in character, and a must read I would say!

daisy bunches and heather branches - halcyonwhispers (5862 words)

Summary: izuku falls in love with the foul-mouthed tattoo artist next door.

Not another flower/tattoo shop au.... aldskjflaskdjfd Okay but punk!Bakugou is ALWAYS a smart move imo

the best part of me (is the worst I can give) - halcyonwhispers (5668)

Summary: Whole sentences usually make up people’s Words, but Katsuki got stuck with a name instead.

Izuku’s name.

I am such a sucker for soulmate aus when it comes to these boys TT_TT *There is some mature content, just a heads up!

Hard to Say - halcyonwhispers (8390 words)

Summary: Izuku is a Halfling, born after his faerie father spirited away his mom and then left her behind. Never quite fitting in with the humans or any of the supernatural beings in his small town, Izuku hoped that going to a diverse college in the big city will help him finally make friends.

Katsuki’s family has been powerful witches for generations, and he’s no different. Talented and a proclaimed genius to boot, he knew he shouldn’t waste his time on this dumbass (disgustingly cute) half-blood.

Or,

two idiots fall in love and don’t get that the other’s awkward cues are just a result of romantic tension.

I am ALSO a sucker for fantasy/mythical creatures au and I LOVED this one - Bakugou absolutely unable to handle how cute Midoriya is? Perfection - but it’s unfinished, and I don’t think it ever will be continued, unfortunately TT_TT

lots to unpack (throw away the whole suitcase) - shounentwink (4315 words)

Summary: “How’d you know?” Midoriya asks.

There’s a hunch to his shoulders that wasn’t there three hours ago. Freckled shoulders are kissed sunburnt and red: he looks like someone ran him over and left him like roadkill in the sunlight. Bakugou’s working with insurance today, but he could see the sparks of green lightning even from his elevated position in their shared agency. Midoriya’s holding his thumb, cracking it over and over — it looks like he’s rubbed it raw.

“Dunno,” Bakugou says. “Maybe you’re just easy to read, nerd.”

I love this one so much, it was one of the first ones I read, it’s so good, and it’s another that really affected how I view their relationship! Idk this one just hit for me

hang the moon from us (it’s a no from me) - shounentwink (1200 words)

Summary: Midoriya’s gonna get sick of Bakugou one of these days, and then the whole ruse will be over, and the balance of power will tilt beyond salvation, but that day isn’t today and it looks like Bakugou knows it.

What an asshole.

Once again, I’m a sucker for the fantasy au... But even more, the diction, the details, the imagery...it’s absolutely all stunning here. I wish I could write this pretty

In Which Bakugou Finds His One Tru Luv - Erina (5862 words) This is the first one of a series called The Misadventures of Explodo-kill Agency!

Summary: Welcome to the Explodo-kill agency! We can destroy your buildings, crash your cars, and help you solve one of the seven mysteries in life: who is Bakugou Katsuki's mysterious boyfriend?!

I’ll admit I’ve only read the first three but by god they are the funniest fics I’ve ever read in my life. I see that Erina has added more since the last time I checked it out! Tbh I was only interested in reading the purely bakudeku ones... (My favorite was the second one!! SO funny and cute!)

i still do - raeryn (9646 words)

Summary: He’s losing him to pieces, but Izuku still tries to make them count. In which a battle leaves Bakugou Katsuki with amnesia, and Izuku finds himself picking up the pieces.

So, this one makes me cry. TT_TT

One Thing Straight - winningshot (9899 words)

Summary: They totally aren't.

Hints of their relationship is found in all of their friends’ social media accounts, but majority of their fans still think that Katsuki and Izuku are in relationships with anybody but each other.

It was amusing up until it became sad.

Lmao it’s a little salty but I guess I can be too. This is a social media fic! There’s multiple ships in this one, too

A Demolition Boy & his Cryptid BF - kewltie (8472 words)

Summary: Bakugou of the Demolition Squad is famous for running one of the most popular Youtube channels on the web that regularly blow shit up and jumped off a perfectly good building for shit and giggles. He's also famous for his Cryptid BF™, never appearing on camera except for a few bodyshots and all information on him is kept locked up tighter than Fort Knox, therefore drawing all sort of attention and curiosity toward his mysterious boyfriend.

Deku from Deku Explains is a hopeless chatterbox who is known for uploading 20-30 minutes video that talked about his favorite shows and comics and have one of the most devoted following on Youtube. He also can't seem to shut up about his boyfriend Kacchan, who regularly make his presence on the channel as a disembodied voice.

They should theoretically have nothing in common except a shared platform to host their content and an army of fans with an endless curiosity and devotion to their Youtubers. Vidcon is where we lay our scene and the internet is about to get a rude wake up call.

Okay kewltie is SO GOOD and very creative! The formatting is phenomenal, it’s like you’re actually experiencing a social media melt down in real time lol

be my good luck charm - writedeku (6785 words)

Summary: See, the thing is, Midoriya Izuku had been born with a curse. It’s not a curse that’s particularly visible. He doesn’t have horns, or a tortured face, and it’s not the kind of silly curse like a friend of his had way down south in Diagnor, wherein the girl had been born without the ability to say the word duck. Midoriya Izuku is just extremely unlucky.

(Or the AU in which Izuku's the world's unluckiest travelling merchant, and Katsuki is someone who may be able to help him. For a price, that is.)

Oh I adore this one! It’s so cute and such a good narrative! Nice and warm, and Bakugou trying his damnedest to be suave, and it somehow working because Midoriya is just as flustered. *Another one rated as teen but some suggestive content.

Smells Like Victory - majjale (2377 words)

Summary: Bakugou takes two steps into the room and stops, clapping a hand over his nose. “Ugh, what stinks like Deku in here?”

"Good afternoon, Bakugou. That would be the amortentia."

I must admit, not a fan of HP, but majjale...TT_TT majjale writes these two boys so well. This one is really, really good!

Cherish Me - Justaperson1718 (2376 words)

Summary: “What?”

Izuku looked back down at his menu and flipped the page, a small smile on his face. “Nothing.”

Katsuki glared at Izuku from across the table. “If it was nothing then you wouldn’t be staring at me.”

“It’s just a little funny watching you try to look your best for our date when you always look great anyway,” Izuku explained. He wouldn’t look up from his menu while he spoke, but his words remained ingrained with confidence nevertheless. He considered what he was saying to be fact, and nothing else. “Even when you’re not trying in front of the cameras, it’s still hard to take my eyes off of you.”

This is a sequel to a fic that’ll be in the next section, because it’s longer, called Manage Me. Please read that one first before this one! (Not part of a series, but they’re the same story line)

Fascinating - Justaperson1718 (1556 words)

Summary: “I’m not staring at you,” Izuku replied, his eyes focused intently on Katsuki. He’s still wearing his pajamas, sitting on his knees in their shared bed. He was awake moments before Katsuki, and waited eagerly for the other to awake.

Katsuki glanced over his shoulder after his shirt was on and glared. “You’re fucking staring at me right now.”

Izuku shook his head, humming his disapproval quietly. “I’m watching you.”

“That’s the same damn thing,” Katsuki said while searching for a pair of pants in the dresser. “Your eyes are fixated on me like I’m your life’s fucking goal or some shit.”

“I just like watching you get dressed.” Izuku tilted his head to the side and smiled softly at Katsuki’s confused stare. “I know, it’s weird. But I like it.”

*There is a little bit of implied mature content, but overall, it’s just so sweet and intimate, and I just simply adore this one.

in a place once filled with gold - dorenamryn (9226 words)

Summary: It felt strange to remember such details, for they were things a friend should know, and as far as Katsuki was concerned, he and Deku hadn’t been friends in a very, very long time. He could admit, with reluctance, that they were on the path there, now, even though they would never make it. Katsuki would die before they could get the chance.

or: There is a garden growing in Katsuki’s lungs, and he is helpless to stop it.

“Hanahaki disease” okay, I can explain myself. Okay, I can’t. In any case, you got angst with a happy ending if that’s what you’re into!

Kaleidoscope - DPRenFTW (5141 words)

Summary: Izuku is a witch. He just needs to find his familiar. Enter a boy that is a wolf, and a wolf that is a boy - with wild red eyes and sharp smiles.

And Izuku thinks:

"Oh, it's him."

Just as beautiful and fascinating as the name implies! I seriously recommend for the beautiful writing, the gorgeous world, the mythical creatures au, and the lovely bakudeku romance!

Learning Curve - sensiblysilly (4222 words)

Summary: Deku and Katsuki’s first kiss goes rather differently than planned.

And Katsuki’s quickly learning that relationships can be unpredictable - especially when taking into account the variable that is Midoriya Izuku.

This really is just a careful handling of a teenage romance where perhaps one of them may have shit they’re still working through. It’s really sweet, and a careful study at boundaries and the building of a relationship. I actually stumbled across this while looking for another with the same name and ended up pleasantly surprised. Kacchan can has a little validation, as a treat.

4/20 is a national holiday - Ereri_Garbage (

Summary: Izuku is a drug dealer that doesn't really accept the fact he's a drug dealer, Katsuki is hot as hell as shouldn't be allowed a facebook.

Happy (Late) birthday Katsuki and happy (late) 4/20. I actually half assed an edit on this one so it took longer to post than I thought it would.

Uummmm lmao yes I have a sense of humor. ;ALDSKJFLSKDJF Okay, I say that, but this is not a crack fic, it’s a good story that I enjoy with good writing, and *it has mature, content, obviously for multiple reasons here. It’s rated as mature but there are borderline explicit moments imo. It’s a fun fic and funny, too! And, ngl, it really does remind me of college... But forget about me, the bakudeku is wonderful too of course :)

Drinking Watermelon - warschach (8906 words)

Summary: For whatever reason, maybe divine fate, Izuku turned and looked over his shoulder and waved to them.

Katsuki’s heart full on stopped right then, and his fingers forgot their duty on the rails, and his body neglected its job to keep Katsuki balanced.

Izuku’s summer sweet smile fell into concern as Katsuki went airborne and cracked his skull on the porch.

or Katsuki works as a camp counselor, and Izuku is a boy made of summer heat and sunlight.

Love it when people have Bakugou as absolutely enamored with Midoriya; it’s so good and true. Anyways this one makes me like summer camp story lines. It’s funny and also cute and great writing! *It’s got explicit content, just a heads up. Warschach stories just have this youthful 80′s vibe, I don’t know how else to explain it.

there are listed buildings - semiautomatichearts (3309)

Summary: Katsuki first sees colors bloom when he is only three years old. It is timid Izuku, hiding behind the cover of his mother's leg who looks upon him with wide eyes, and Katsuki's world explodes in shades of greens and pinks and blues, and he is so startled, he begins to cry.

His life is then on defined in color, in shades his peers can't see, by the forlorn, timid stare in Izuku's eyes that always lets off more than he is willing to tell. There is a schism driven between himself and his fated other, and Katsuki strives to be better than fate, better than what is defined for him. He is more than the written pages of a book, to be cracked open and read by the gods.

He wonders if it is possible for colors to bloom for someone who will never love you back.

Ah...soulmates :) So interesting how bakudeku fits into soulmate aus like this one when they’ve known each other as kids! And when they’ve had this complex push and pull thing going on all their lives! The writing is beautiful, and so is the story!

Promise Ring - bkdkwritingsdump (3579)

Summary: The midwest in the 1950′s is no place for boys who like kissing boys: something Izuku and Katsuki know all too well growing up there. However, the undeniable bond between the nervous science geek and the aloof delinquent will still find a way to blossom in such a desert.

Cute, sweet, makes my gay heart ache. Longing not just for the one you love, but just to feel right loving them. Very pretty story line, lovely story telling!

Fics 10k - 30k:

Fishy - warschach (19417 words)

Summary: Izuku’s convinced his hot co-worker/neighbor, Katsuki, is a mermaid-or merman- you gotta consider genders even with mythical creatures- and plans to prove it.

(or this is kinda like the show ‘Monster Quest’, except Izuku actually finds said monster, falls in love, and have sexy times.)

Another warschach! I love this one, I love how they write bakudeku, particularly as college students, their stories (at least, the ones that I’ve read) always feel so warm, like a summer’s day, but not a lazy one, one that’s playful? If that makes sense? *This one is explicit, another heads up!

Manage Me - Justaperson1718 (10756 words)

Summary: Izuku caught himself moving forward, his head tilted somewhat to the side, and his eyes shot wide open. His gaze met Katsuki’s half-lidded eyes now that he was no longer in a dreamlike state, and seeing the way Katsuki was looking at him—waiting for him—made him realize Katsuki would’ve let him do it. He might have even wanted him to do it.

“You’re both doing fabulous!” the photographer called out to them, packing his camera into his bag and getting ready to leave. “I just got word that what we have now should be good, so we’ll stop there. Thank you for your time! Lock the door on your way out after you change.”

The pair stayed frozen in place, with Izuku’s arms around Katsuki’s neck and Katsuki’s hands resting on Izuku’s waist, while the photographer and his supervisor left.

“Kacchan,” Izuku cooed once they were gone. “Did you want to…?”

Love the story, love the bakudeku! Very, very good bakudeku TT_TT very sweet *There is some mature content in here as well

point to a map (we’ve been there) - cosmicfuss (10589 words)

Summary: Serendipity / sĕr″ən-dĭp′ĭ-tē Serendipity is the occurrence of an unplanned fortunate discovery. Two men find themselves on a subway, hot coffee on one while the other is in the middle of a screaming match. After that they can't seem to stop finding each other, no matter how far they go.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again; this fic owns my entire soul. I love the story, the ease of their relationship, just how lovely they are together. It’s another kind of nice, fluffy fic you’d read on a bad day where you come home and curl up in a blanket and listen to a ten hour video of thunderstorm white noise. *Again, some more mature content in here

Partners - tsukithewolf (13619 words) Another series! Two parts to this one this time

Summary: It is said that in Musutafu there is a charm that one can buy at a temple that will lead you to your destined partner. They say that if the charm works, you would be able to follow the red string of fate to the person you were meant to be with. And if the person returns your feelings, they would be able to see the string as well, proving that both were meant to be.

Three-year-old Katsuki and Izuku misunderstand what the word "partner" means and discover the charm and the rumor behind it is not only true, but more than expected.

Gets a little heavy, depression, bullying, suicidal thoughts, etc. But it must get worse before it gets better, that kind of thing. I also just adore the second part (called Bond) - maybe because it’s much fluffier, what about it?

Learning Curve - iknewaman (10304 words)

Summary: “Izuku.” Uraraka repeats as she motions at the person stood next to her. Green curls, average height, and, well. Up close, not such a bad smile. Uraraka points a thumb at Bakugou and enunciates slowly, “This is Bakugou. He can speak sign language too.”

Wait. Sign language?

The stranger— well, Izuku— looks at him with a raised brow. Their free hand lifts up as they make a slight motion of the hand.‘

Really?’

Bored out of his mind at a house party one night Bakugou is introduced to Izuku, a deaf student who offers to help teach Bakugou sign language in exchange for a favour-- or well, is prompted into asking for a favour.

Ah, I really want to explain this one a little bit? I’d never been into fanfiction ever, only really getting into it with these boys. This was the second one I read, I remember, and it caught me off guard, and it intrigued me. It really surprised me as to what fanfiction could be. Ngl I had biased perceptions of fanfics - I used to be one of those people who thought fanfiction could never be good writing - and this one slapped me in the face with it’s subtle beauty and creative story and heart melting capabilities, and very, very real relationship and growth. Anyways it’s so cute how happy Deku is to teach Kacchan sign language TT_TT Make sure to read the tags!

The Keeper and the Sun God’s Heir - SurelyHeavenWaits (12746 words)

Summary: The Titans' have stolen something important from Izuku, heir of the Sun God, and he wants it back.

This one, this one, this one, this one, this one, this one, this one, this one this one- Oh my god this one. Okay so what, I was a Percy Jackson kid, what about it? I love the mythical aus, particularly the god ones. But beyond that, the writing is so beautiful, just like the world, and the imagery. The bakudeku...absolutely stunning. The story itself? Incredible. Cannot recommend more. *There is explicit content in this, though I will say, it’s all in the last chapter, and all of the story is in the first two chapters. There’s also a second part as it’s a series and it’s short but it’s cute and sweet TT_TT

seven days - aaAAAaaahhhhHHHHH (10094 words)

Summary: There’s something about the green haired boy, an aura that just drew Katsuki in before he even knew his name.

[Sometimes your mind forgets, but your heart remembers]

Heed my warning: DON’T read this in front of other people. I bawl every time I read this one TT_TT I know I said I don’t like angst but AJLSKDFJALSKDFJ it has a hopeful ending! I mean yeah you’re gonna cry but...hope? :’) (that username really says it all tbh)

Fics 30k+

Notice me, nerd - useless_donut (40000 words)

Summary: Bakugou is in love with Midoriya. He doesn’t hide it, in fact it’s so painfully obvious that the entire class of 3-A has him figured out in a matter of months (days, in some cases). Too bad Midoriya is the most oblivious motherfucker out there, and Bakugou is too damn stubborn to actually ask him out.

Will the class of 3-A survive the sexual tension? Who will snap first? Someone put Bakugou out of his misery, please, before everyone else dies of second-hand embarrassment.

(a love story as witnessed by the class of 3-A)

Love the idea of Bakugou being brazen and brash, cause yeah, he is. So fucking funny though how that translates to him flirting. Gotta say, thought I was gonna cringe, but his “I’m gay af” outfit really ended up being A Look. Love the mutual pining, it really is strong in this one. *Okay, mature content in this one lads.

While You Were Sleeping - Belkacaramelka (71197 words)

Summary: The one where quirkless fanboy Midoriya Izuku rescues Pro Hero Todoroki Shouto, gets mistaken as his fiancé while he is in a coma, and gets caught up in the most unlikely fake engagement... until his childhood enemy and Todoroki's classmate Bakugou Katsuki tries to catch him out, and they both end up discovering a lot more about each other than they'd expected.

Quirkless AU based on the film; endgame BakuDeku. -- Katsuki didn’t know when the change had happened: how he had gone from asking why Todoroki chose Deku of all people, to wondering why it was Todoroki that Deku chose. Troublesome Deku, who cooed like an idiot at cats, tripped at a random catcall and sang badly. Who, despite everything, proved that it wasn’t the quirk that defined a person. Deku, who was too much, not his, and undeniably off limits to begin with.

Update: Epilogue added

*This one has mature content. If you can, please, for the love of god, read this fic. It’s like, tied with my favorite bkdk fic perhaps ever. It’s based on the movie of the same title, a nineties romcom with Sandra Bullock, but Belkacaramelka has so effortlessly made it into it’s own story, fit it so perfectly inside of the bnha world. I definitely stayed up until 6:30am reading this one. It’s got such good badass Midoriya, who is also sweet, and really really good reconciliation between bakudeku.

All Gifted - fitzefitcher (39129 words)

Summary: The thing about gifts is that they're meant to be given, they're meant to be shared; so Izuku will take his gifts, so freely given to him, and share them with all he holds dear.

Izuku is born without any gifts, as his kind often are, to a witch mother and salamander father, on one sweltering night in July.

This one is unfinished...and I highly doubt it will ever be. But what has been written is incredible. Once again, I’m a sucker for the magic/mythical creatures aus. But the relationship is great! The characterization is great! The found family trope that was building up is great!

under a hollow sun - umbrage (40572 words)

Summary: Midoriya is cursed with emptiness.

Misfortune leads him to a man of ancient magic and endless rage.

To stop an unfathomable evil, their mismatched halves must become whole.

Uuuggghhhh this was so good! I don’t think it’s going to be finished either :( Once again, fantasy au, more amazing writing, on point characterization, incredible pacing, makes you hungry for more story.

all the savage soul requires - majjale (58032 words)

Summary: Bakugou seems to have exhausted his patience for words and no longer acknowledges that Midoriya exists, so Midoriya crosses his legs, stares down at his hands limned in firelight, and makes a list of things he knows.

One. His name is Midoriya Izuku.

Two. He is a Godmarked, future god of life, heir to the divine throne.

Three. The gods have been fighting Death for eons, and now he's coming for recompense with everything he’s got.

This is majjale, so of course, the writing is more than beautiful; it’s absolutely breathtaking. This may be my favorite fic ever - unfortunately I don’t think it will ever be finished either TT_TT There’s the gods/fantasy au, which you know by now I love. But the characterization of our two boys is absolutely perfect, and I mean that as literally as possible. And the story being crafted between the two, the memory loss, the obvious history muddled by it all, it was so dense, and the PINING, so incredibly written, flowing so naturally. It wasn’t even close to being done, but it was wonderful, still is wonderful.

My Writing: (You can skip this if you hate shameless self promotion)

You’re too damn flicking cute (1815 words)

Summary: Bakugou is certain his shitty boyfriend is instigating kisses. Maybe it doesn't help that he keeps giving them away like it's a damn going out of business sale, but the stupid nerd is too fucking cute. Either way, like everything else, this is a competition, and he's going to win it.

Please don’t read this unless you’re going to the dentist afterwards! I’ve been told it’s so sweet it’ll give you instant cavities >_>;;;;

Bakugou Katsuki, you smooth motherfucker (10118 words)

Summary: Everyone around him knows that Bakugou Katsuki has a very special way with words. To the untrained ear he is loud and crass; to those that speak Kacchan, he is caring and inspiring. Yet there are rare moments, moments so fleeting you blink and you miss them, where Bakugou’s words pierce straight through Midoriya’s chest, and surprise everyone around him.

Goddammit, if only he would say them to Midoriya’s face.

Or, the five times Bakugou said something nice about Midoriya, and the one time he said something kind to him (but that was too long of a title).

I think most would consider this my best published fic; it’s one of those snapshot fics, “the five times where x did this, and the one time where they didn’t.” The recurring comment I get on this one is both of them being super in character, so I think that’s it’s defining characteristic! Bakugou and Midoriya have never known a life without the other, and in a perfect world, they never will.

Here, let me fix that (11247 words)

Summary: Bakugou honestly never thought he’d see Deku ever again. And now that they were together in this tiny compartment, alone for the next two and a half minutes, he had no clue what to say. He’d just apologized, right? So perhaps he could leave it at that and carry on with the original plan to never see the green-haired man that reminded him of dense forests, late night adventures, and tear-stained faces, ever again.

Ha! Who is he kidding? These bitches are soulmates.

I’ve gotten some critiques on this one, so sorry in advance if it’s not to your liking! Basically, what if Midoriya never got his quirk? Obviously, life would find a way to put them together because, as previously stated, these bitches are soulmates.

Plenty of Time (16654 words)

Summary: Bakugou found what little sleep he got restless and filled with nightmares that he forgot the second he opened his eyes. Tonight was the first time in a long time where he just had a normal dream - and it happened to be about Deku.

How fucking typical.

In other words, two dorks realize they have feelings for each other but don't know what to do about said feelings.

Ah, my first fic. Very simple, boys being boys, kinda like a slow burn? Idk how to explain this one, just boys figuring out their feelings and trying to figure out what to do about them. Been told these two are a little stupid but I think that’s valid.

We’re all time bombs waiting to explode (39223 words)

Summary: We have now entered the slipstream of time, into an alternate dimension where it neither is, nor isn’t, the 80’s. Two teenagers, burdened with the weight of adolescence in the modern world, find themselves struggling side by side, in part because of each other.

Bakugou, the most popular boy in school, has everything he could possibly want; status, power, and an unbreakable will. Having been dragged along behind him all the way to the top, Midoriya can’t help but wonder how (and why) he ended up standing beside his childhood friend-turned bully-turned friend again, weighed down by their complicated past and present. As the tension between them grows every day, and the arrival of a new, pretty face causes it to peak, it won’t be long before something - or someone - snaps.

I am...very bad at titles, and summaries apparently. This was my Heathers au, but it very quickly diverges from the original (I don’t do sad endings....) *This one has mature content, including implied sexual activity, drug use, and underage drinking, along with other heavy topics; please read the tags! Though tbh Midoriya is 17 for a couple weeks before it hits his birthday halfway through, so keep that in mind I guess? I kind of went heavy with this one, but I think the pay off was immense. This is the one with the most amount of comments stating it’s their favorite bkdk fic ever (and I cry). It’s a rough start, with a rough journey, but so is bakudeku! There’s a lot of petty drama, and then all of a sudden it’s Not That Petty and very much Far Too Real. Many have cried reading the ending, I cried writing it. My sister says it’s her favorite of mine. Now, I did kind of push this out without polishing it so much because I was losing my willpower, so if it feels lacking, that’s one hundred percent my fault.

Okay that was a lot! It took me a couple days...I hope I wasn’t too annoying with all my opinions! Please have a nice day. and enjoy some good reads, even if they aren’t the ones in this post!

#bakudeku #katsudeku #boku no hero academia #my hero academia #mha #bnha #bkdk #fics #my writing #god i really hope i didn't fuck up any of this #i spent a long time on it alksdjflaskjdflkasdjf #this is 39 fics without my own #and 44 including mine #i can tell i've forgotten some but #idk it's hard TT_TT #anyways it's 2:30am #if i go to bed at 4am one more time i'm gonna throw myself down a flight of stairs #i hope this is good enough as is!#most of this was written very late so I hope it doesn't sound...crazed

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ultraintrovertedgryffindor · 4 years ago

Text

Don’t Leave - Cardinal Copia (Papa Emeritus IV)

This one is also based on dream I had.

My dream was that I was part of the church/ministry/clergy/whatthefuckever and I had to move to either France or Virginia (idk). I didn’t wanna go obviously and told Copia about it. I don’t remember him having that much of a reaction lol. But for the sake of fiction, he did. I moved away in my dream unfortunately, but I’ll make this have a happy ending.😇

Enjoy my subconscious!

~~~~~~~~~~

Everyone in the church gasped. Some cried out, some sobbed. But it was most of the same. The news had came.

Papa Nihil was dead.

We were already accepting the new Papa Emeritus the 4th. Everyone loved the Cardinal anyway. But everyone loved Papa Nihil, he was a soft spot for most people. Some members of the church even knew him when he was the first to run the church.

It was a sad day.

On top of that, I had just found out this morning that my parents and I were to move to a different state.

It seemed like it was going to be a week full of bad days.

I tried not to sob when I got dressed for mass this morning. I had no idea what I’d do without this church. It was like a second home to me.

I’d volunteer whenever I could to help the Ministry out. I��m so active in the church that even the Ghouls from the band project knew me! I would’ve become a true member of the church if it wasn’t for my parents.

It’s not like they didn’t approve, but they just needed me.

I was their only child. I wouldn’t want them to think I was leaving them. I couldn’t.

On the other hand, the Ministry has reached out to me and asked if I wanted to become a Sister of Sin multiple times. They love my enthusiasm and think I have the potential to so even more. Sister Imperator actually thinks very highly of me. And Papa Emeritus III, when he was alive, actually sought me out to see if I wanted to join the band (and maybe for other reasons of his own).

I wanted to...I really wanted to. It was even harder to turn down the Cardinal when he asked as well. I just knew my parents needed me.

Coming to this mass knowing it would be my last really hurt, then hearing the news about Nihil...I don’t know how I’ll be able to tell everyone that I have to leave.

After the service, I saw Sister Imperator in the distance, hugging a few people. They were probably giving her their condolences since everyone knew how much they cared for each other.

I trudged over to her sorrowfully, almost hoping that she would be too busy to talk to me. But the universe just had it out for me today, and she quickly noticed how pitiful I looked.

She quickly brought me into a loving embrace, much like a mother’s. I was quickly brought to tears when I thought that this would probably be the last hugging Sister.

“I’m so sorry, Sister.” I cried.

It had a double meaning for me, obviously. I was so sorry about Papa Nihil dying, but I was sorry about having to leave. But she didn’t know the other meaning yet.

“He lived a good life, Y/N.” She whispered, rubbing my back soothingly.

I pulled away from her and scratched the back of my head nervously, avoiding her eyes.

She sighed. “That’s not the only reason you’re sorry. What’s happened?”

“I’m...I’m moving away.” I choked out. Sister Imperator immediately frowned and gave me a sad look. “My parents told me this morning. We leave in two days.”

She quickly pulled me back into a hug. I held on tightly, trying to keep myself from breaking down in front of everyone. “Have you told Cardinal yet?”

I froze. That was the thing I was dreading the most...

I shook my head no and I could feel her loosing her grip on me. She pulled away from the hug, tears brimming her eyes, making me feel guilty. “He’s going to be so devastated. He really has taken a liking to you, dear.” She said, making me feel even more guilty.

I sighed. “I know...it’s just so hard knowing that he’ll be so sad.” I wiped a stray tear that was rolling down my cheek.

Sister brought her hand up and caressed my cheek, smiling sadly. “It has to be done, sweetie. Ripping off the band-aid.”

I nodded and placed my hand above hers. She quickly pointed out Cardinal Copia, now named Papa Emeritus IV, in the group of people and encouraged me to walk over to him.

I nervously approached him, seeing his eyes brighten with joy as he noticed me.

Damn...

“Hey, Cop- uh, Papa.” I stutter. I always called him Copia, but now he’s much more higher up now, taking on the role of Papa Emeritus now.

Copia smiled and shook his head slightly. “You don’t have to he so formal with me, dolcezza. Just because I’m Papa now doesn’t mean you have to call me that.” He told me in his endearing Italian accent.

Oh lucifer, I’m gonna miss him...

“I, uh, need to talk to you.” I said, and he gestured for me to continue speaking. But I looked around nervously at all the people close by, and he quickly realized that I meant in private.

He guided me over to the corner of the room, away from the group. “Now, what is it, cara mia?”

Come on, Y/N. Just like ripping off a band-aid...

“Copia...I’m moving away...in two days.”

My words hung in the air with a bitter silence. Nervousness filled me to the brim when he looked like he didn’t even hear me at first, so afraid that I’d have to repeat myself. The nervousness quickly turned into anxiety when his face finally contorted from shock to a frown. He didn’t say anything. Not even a sigh of displeasure, but his eyes never met mine. But if they did, they would be filled with heartache.

I was stunned into silence when Copia quickly walked off, not even saying so much as a goodbye. He pushed past all the people (and Ghouls), heading to his new office in the church.

“Y/N?” A warm hand was placed on my shoulder, Sister’s hand.

“He didn’t even say anything. He just...left.” I reached up and covered my mouth to muffle the hiccups caused by trying not to cry this whole morning, but a few escaped the sound barrier that my hand caused and reached Sister’s ears.

“Go find him.”

I turned around and looked at Sister Imperator in shock. “Find him? He couldn’t even look at me!”

“He’s in shock, dear. He probably just needs a few minutes to process it. Go to his office after everyone leaves. That’ll be enough time to mull his over. And if he won’t see you, I’ll go into that silly office of his and smack him in the head.”

I laugh tearfully. I love this woman. “Okay.” I agreed.

“Good.” She nodded. “Now, you might want to go say goodbye to everyone else.”

I sigh and look over to the group of people (+Ghouls) that I’ve made friends with and grew to care about for years now. This won’t be easy either...

After about a half hour of goodbyes, hugs, and more tears (and some sorrowful mewling from some of the Ghouls), everyone started to trickle off. Heading back home, going about their lives the same way it’s always been for them.

When I get home, I’ll have to start packing my life away into cardboard boxes.

I shook the thought away quickly.

It was eerily quiet in the church now the everyone headed out. It was time for me to confront Copia...again.

I walked out of the chapel and into the great foyer of the church, looking up to see the stained glass murals of all the previous Papas embedded into the wall. The sun shining on the glass from the outside making the hall glow in certain colors of the memorial pieces.

I’m gonna miss this place.

I reach the end of the hall where Copia’s office was. I quietly sigh and rap my knuckles against the wooden door. I heard a faint, “Who is it?”

“Copia...it’s me.”

There was no response, but I waited at the door.

“I want to talk to you, Copia...please.” I almost whined, leaning my head against the door.

I quickly took a couple steps back when I started to hear footsteps approach, quickly opening the door to reveal Copia. He was out of his Anti-pope robes and into his regular suit, his Papa paint almost completely off, but it still looked smudged in places.

If only he used the makeup remover wipes I brought him...

I stepped into the office, turned around and closed the door. Turning back, Copia was back at his desk. He was sitting on the desk top, his right leg swinging slightly, looking at me expectantly. “Well?” He said.

“Copia, I-”

“It’s Papa.” He deadpanned.

I sighed in frustration. “I never wanted this to happen, Copia.”

“Then why? Why are you choosing to move?”

“I...” I tried holding back tears, making my eyes burn. “It’s my parents...”

“Your parents are making you move?” He laughed bitterly. “I thought you were a grown woman who could make decisions for herself?”

I looked down, gravity forcing the tears out of my eyes, landing on the floor with muted thud.

I heard Copia sigh. The desk creaked slightly when he stood up from it, hearing his footsteps get closer until he was right in front of me.

He tucked his pointer finger under my chin and gently raised my head, making me look into his eyes that seemed regretful.

“Why are you moving, cara mia?” He asked softly.

“I don’t want my parents to think I abandoned them.” I whimpered.

“Oh, mia dolce, your parents aren’t going to think you abandoned them if you wanted to stay.” Copia cooed, now caressed my hair. “All the times you said you couldn’t join us, was it because of your parents?”

I reluctantly nodded. “They...they need me.”

“Come on.” Copia suddenly started pulling me towards the office telephone. “Call them. Tell them what you really feel.”

I blushed and started panicking. “W-what? N-no! I can’t do that!”

He sighed, and started dialing my parents’ phone number. “I know you parents, cara mia. They’ll understand. Trust me.” He said.

I was panicked as the phone rang, but seeing how confident Copia was about my parents made me feel a little less stressed. Him holding my hand the entire time helped too.

“Hello?” The cheery voice of my mom answered.

“M-mom?” My voice trembled.

“Oh hi, dear! We were just packing! Are you still at the church?”

I sigh, here goes. “Mom, I...I don’t want to move. I want to stay here. I love it here so much, and...I want to join the church! I want to become a member...are you mad?”

I flinched when my mom laughed loudly into the phone, making me furrow my eyebrows. “Honey, I was wondering when you were gonna break!”

“W-what?”

“You don’t think I know my own child? I knew you were going to stay at that church. Your father and I actually made a bet to see how long you’d put up with all this moving shit!” She laughed again.

“Wait...so, you’re not mad?” I asked, still shocked.

“Of course not, sweetie! I know how much that church makes you happy. All we want is for you to be happy, hon.”

“I thought you needed me.”

“Oh sweetheart, we’ll always need you. But if you’re happy, then we’re happy. We knew you weren’t gonna stay with us forever! You have a life too, as well as us. Plus, we’re not 90 year old people who need someone to carry us every time we need to take a shit! We can take care of ourselves.”

I looked over to Copia with a grin, and he smiled back softly and mouthed, “I told you so.”

“Now, come home and help us pack up all out shit!” My mom said with a laugh and hung up.

As soon as she hung up, I squealed in joy and jumped into Copia’s arms. He staggered back by sudden force of my happiness, but he laughed breathlessly. “Didn’t I say to trust me?” He said as he pulled away, looking at me with a goofy grin.

I don’t know what came over me, but I reached out and brought his face down to mine, shocking him still when I pushed my lips up against his.

I quickly realized what I was doing and pulled away. “Uh...I’m so sorry! I don’t-”

Copia cut me off mid-sentence, bringing me into another spur of the moment kiss.

I immediately relaxed and reciprocated his kiss, reaching up to tangle my fingers in his slicked back hair and him bringing his arms to wrap around my waist to pull me closer. I smile into the kiss, feeling his mustache tickle at my sensitive skin.

This moment was perfect.

We both pulled away. The heat of moment taking our breath away, making us both take deep inhales to get oxygen rushing to the brain.

“Cara mia, I’ve waited for this moment for so long.” Copia smiled.

I let him know that I felt the same way by giving him another peck on the lips. “Looks like you’re stuck with me from now on.” I grinned.

“That is not something to feel bad about, mia dolce.”

“Not at all.”

~~~~~~~~~~

Don’t really know how churches of Satan go about having services if they even have them, but in my dream we were in a regular looking church soooo...

What I actually saw in my dream: Copia not having a reaction to me leaving (what a heartless bastard) and the stained glass murals to the Papas.

#the band ghost #ghost band fanfiction #cardinal copia #cardinal copia fanfiction #i love my dreams

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riordanversephantom · 4 years ago

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So hi, since I’ve been crying for like... the past hour? (Lol future Phantom here, it’s taken me like an hour to compile this) here’s a collection of moments from my Riordanverse fanfics that I really like or made me chuckle because I need some feel good. These are all from my Ao3 and I’ll leave links.

“You know usually people show up at someone’s house when the person is home,” Nico said, starting to make himself a sandwich. Thalia laughed.

“You’re telling me that while you’re sitting here the same as me making a sandwich?” She leaned back on the stool, gripping the counter to keep her balance. Nico rolled his eyes.

“I don’t intend to show up while he’s not here.”

“You’re funny Nico.”

“Thanks, I get that a lot,” Nico raised one eyebrow, Thalia laughed again.

(Percy’s not home)

“Jason fractured his ankle...while on the rock wall…” Will looked up at Nico, “he can fly, how did he do that?”

“He’s silly like that.”

Will paused for so long that Nico thought he had finally fallen asleep.

“Cecil brought me some Zebra cakes today,” Will mumbled, “he wasn’t injured but they tasted good. I appreciated it. He probably stole them.”

(Just go to bed)

More under the cut

Nico couldn’t help but crack a small smile, “thanks Kayla.” He gently took the sweatshirt from her. This was one of Will’s favorites (and also Nico’s favorite to take).

“Since you’re practically a member of the family now, I wanted to look out for you,” she yawned and glanced behind her, “since things have been a bit quiet with Will visiting his mom.”

“Yeah,” Nico agreed.

She smiled, “I guess I’ll let you get back to bed.”

Nico nodded, “goodnight Kayla.”

“Goodnight Nico,” she yawned again and started to trudge back to her cabin.

(Miss him the most)

“Look at you, I think we still need to have that competition of who looks worse after crying,” Will smirked.

“I still think it’s you,” Kayla cracked a small smile.

“It’s probably still me,” Will sighed, “let’s get back before Austin gets worried and the harpies come kill us though.”

“Yeah…”

(I’m still here)

But Will, half asleep and frightened had somehow ended up on the front porch of the Hades cabin at four in the morning. When Nico opened the door he had stumbled into Nico’s arms, enveloping Nico into a huge hug.

“Oh,” Nico whispered, running his fingers through Will’s hair.

“I…” Will swallowed hard, “nightmare I… didn’t know… what to do.”

He wasn’t crying but the panic was evident in his voice. Nico nodded silently and led Will inside, shutting the door behind him.

(Understand that I love you, dear)

“It’s fine,” Leo wiped some grease on his shirt and shifted on the chair, “I know what I’m doing.”

Jason doubted that, but he crossed his arms in front of his chest and watched. Leo’s chair that he was standing on looked old and worn, it looked very close to falling apart. Jason got a bit closer just in case Leo fell.

“Are you sure you don’t want me to help you?” Jason asked again.

“Why? Are you worried?” Leo let out a sigh and turned to Jason, the chair wobbled and he threw his arm out to steady himself. Jason hissed and quickly stepped forward, his arms outstretched.

“Yeah, a bit,” Jason responded, “I don’t want you to fall. Let me help.”

(How tall are you)

“I’m thinking about hiding away in the woods for a while, maybe we could talk, maybe kiss,” Leo suggested with a shrug.

(How tall are you)

Will buried his face in his hands, tugging at his bangs. He didn’t say anything, Nico was too afraid to do anything at the moment.

Finally, Will let out a shaky sigh, running his fingers through his hair, “you know what,” he laughed without humor, “nope, it’s been a long week.” Will turned towards the desk and started to tidy up the papers he was working on.

“I’m going to bed, I can’t do this right now. I haven’t slept all week and I’m exhausted,” Will turned back to Nico and put a hand on his shoulder, he smiled but it didn’t reach his eyes, “I’m glad you’re back Nico. I’m too angry to actually welcome you home properly so instead I’m going to sleep for the rest of the day. Then come back to this conversation as a well rested organized individual.”

(Cause it hurts)

(like go seek out any other of his friends to alert them of his return, or iris messaging his sister to let her know he was all right) he sulked back to his cabin.

He did eventually do the second thing and Hazel was more than thrilled and relieved. Though when he first iris messaged her, she yelled at him so loudly Frank and a couple other kids actually came in to see what was going on.

(Cause it hurts)

“Did you come here for something?” Will finally asked, clicking his pen absently. He looked back over at Nico.

“Oh right,” Nico walked over to where Will was sitting and plopped himself right on top of the desk, “I came for you.”

“For me?” Will raised one eyebrow, leaning his chin on his elbow.

“It’s getting late, I was getting impatient for you to come back,” Nico said, crossing his arms in front of his chest stubbornly.

“Oh so you missed me?” Will smirked. Nico thought he shouldn’t look so smug.

“Don’t act like you don’t miss me too when I leave for a bit,” Nico huffed.

“I’m not going to act, I’ve admitted it before and I’ll do it again.”

(I trust you as my eyes)

“There we go, that’s my Will,” Nico mumbled, “sometimes nightmares are just nightmares. Nothing more.”

“No stupid prophecy or foreseeing of death,” Will squeezed Nico tighter.

“Just a normal old punch in the gut from your subconscious.”

“I hate my subconscious.”

“Me too.”

(My subconscious hates me)

“Oh, hello Sunshine.”

Kayla woke to her brother’s voice. For a second she thought he was going insane and actually talking to the sun. Then she remembered what happened at three am last night… or well, this morning.

(Not yet brother in law)

The two of them were quiet again. A leaf fluttered onto Percy’s face. Annabeth swiped it away without a thought. He licked her hand.

“Gross, Percy! Are you ten?” Annabeth cried out, wiping her hand on Percy’s shirt.

He laughed, “you asked for it, putting your hand too close to my mouth.”

“I was getting a lead off of you like a loving girlfriend.”

He stuck his tongue out at her. Annabeth furrowed her eyebrows, gathering a ton of leaves that were settled around her and dropped them on his face. He sat up spluttering, spitting leaves out of his mouth.

“That wasn’t nice!” He exclaimed, shaking the leaves from his hair.

(Content)

“You’re a whore,” Drew glared at Will.

Lacy gasped, she looked like she wanted to say anything, but she didn’t.

“ Wow ,” Will puffed out his cheeks before letting out a slow breath, “A whore ? I’ve been called a lot of things, but a whore ? That ones new.”

“Just like Apollo,” She crossed her arms in front of her chest.

“Oh yeah, that makes sense,” Will nodded in agreement, “but, well I hate to break it to you, but I’d like to think I’m pretty faithful to my boyfriend. Unlike you so, I think that the term ‘ whore ’ would better apply to you.” Will clicked his tongue and shrugged.

“Well,” Drew spluttered, obviously running out of insults, “at least I can get a date without even having to try.”

“Drew that is enough,” Piper spoke firmly, her voice cold, “you too Will.” She seemed a bit reluctant about that last part.

Will held up his hands in defense, “hey, I didn’t do anything. Anyway, getting a date with no effort doesn’t really sound like love.”

“ Will, ” Piper shot him a pointed look, Will shrugged.

(Nail polish is gay)

I mean obviously there are a ton more since I have so many fics on my Ao3 but this was just a couple (a lot) from some of my more “recent” fics. If you’ve made it this far, thanks and I hope you liked these small little bits. Check out my Ao3 for more riordanverse fics and follow me on TikTok for cosplay (@phantomxlegend for both).

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t4tvglow · 4 years ago

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okay some top surgery day talk real quick actually! because so much went so well and aaaagh

it really went SO well and everyone was BEYOND sweet and kind and even when i got misgendered it was all on accident and they tried really hard to correct it and my surgeon himself was like disappointed to hear that it happened at the front desk and whatnot and he called me personally a few hrs after i left? never heard of that, was v courteous.

and then after changing into my pajamas i went to say something to my roommate and i just like glanced in the mirror earlier and did a serious double take and started tearing up and smiling and they were losing it they just got up to fuss over me and we stood in the hallway just grinning sbbdkdbdkf.

and good news on their end too! they got called into the city to do a casting for MAC and! did that while i was getting my stuff done, and got to wander around the city and shop a little bit. they deserved that so much and i am so excited for them nothing but good vibes and crossed fingers for them!

and also MAN! okay. i don't talk about my DID on here much. but when i was in recovery, two of my alters played round fuckin robin and literally Talked To Me through my own human mouth just to tell me they were so proud of me and they think i need to get on T at some point? and that sort of thing has Never happened to me before it was overwhelming and i cried like a BITCH it was so kebejdjd like it's the type of shit that sounds fake as hell but i could not turn off elliot's shitty southern accent OR the crying it was a lot LIKDJSKRBKDBD

he told me "the girls had their turn and they fucked it, it's your turn now, you do what you need to do, man. i'm so fucking proud of you."

like when i say i cried like a bitch. it genuinely got me i was a Mess and the nurse came in like oh talking to yourself? and tbh i actually explained (in short terms) and she just kind of stared at me which hey i get it but my mom reacted so naturally when i laughed about it to her because she's actually said before that my whole system are her kids too and

that means a lot to hear from a parent

also she agreed to start using "son" for me for a while to test it out! and when she came into the recovery room she greeted me with "hey handsome!" and i fucking. can't handle this

you know i had someone send me the nastiest anon on my tma blog this morning about all this that stuck with me all day and i still do not understand what would have possessed them to. i don't need to share all the reasons why this Does benefit me and Will change things for me to justify the choice but good g-d some people are literally JUST trans. they deserve to do whatever they have to for their bodies to feel Right? fuck you man you act like i drop $10k on just anything as if i didn't spend 20+ yrs of life on the brink of actual death largely in part due to how i did not feel okay about my body. LOL.

SO ANYWAY!!!! all in all an excellent time! even if there were some setbacks like initially showing up at the wrong fucking hospital because they told me the damn address wrong (???? still do not know how they did that lol), the aggressive misgendering at first, the anesthesiologist being unable to get an IV in at first, and the whole surgery being delayed about 45 minutes (NOT bad at all, they said an hour and a half but they beat it!), the fact that i’m not going to be able to get chiropractic adjustments for a Hot Minute and therefore MAY die a little bit, and like. yeah, okay i am v bruised! so what!!!! that happens. i will be fine! i am fine!

and i really want to consider starting T so if anyone has any words of wisdom my DM is wide open

omg i typed wife open jhbknlm open for wife applications too...

#a.txt #:'-)#medical tw #but all celebratory!

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surveys-at-your-service · 3 years ago

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Survey #425

“evolution repressed by our backwards contest / breeding our torrential demise as we come to this edge”

Serious question, peanut butter or nutella? I think Nutella is a godsend, but I use peanut butter waaaaay more often. We don't even really buy Nutella because I will destroy the jar. Do you prefer baked potatoes or mashed potatoes? Baked. What is your oldest sibling’s middle name? Kathryn. I think. Do you like breadsticks? I just like bread, man. What are your favorite things to spend money on? Tattoos, uuuuugggghhhhh <3 Which would you rather have a new puppy or kitten? Neither, really. Most puppies drive me insane (even though they're cute as everliving fuck), and I don't want another cat. Mom actually talked about getting another, but I really just want my one boy. Roman would get SO jealous, anyway. I enjoy just having my baby. How old will you be on your next birthday? 26. Yikes. Do you ever feel self-conscious when you eat around other people? As "the fat one," I can be sometimes. I would say though that more often than not, it's sort of whatever to me because I'm a human that has to eat. When you opened your eyes this morning, what were your first thoughts? I thought I slept way later than I actually did. What is one thing in the room you’re in that reminds you of somebody? My stuffed meerkat Rebel. Jason got it for me for my first birthday that we were together. Could you ever be friends with somebody who was homophobic? Never again. I was once able to think "agree to disagree," but sometimes by doing so, you're siding with evil by not enforcing what is more than just a belief. It should come with being a human. Also given my own sexuality, it would be a slap in the face to me. Would you ever want to be a supermodel, or date one? Hell no. I'd date one though, if they were modest about their position. Honestly, have you ever made fun of somebody so bad they cried? Wow, no. Honestly, would you rather be complimented on your looks or intelligence? Quite frankly, nowadays, my appearance. I need it. My self-confidence is so far below "shit." Have you ever purchased a pregnancy test, for yourself or otherwise? Nope. You can get one thing, anything, for free right now. What do you pick? Why? Hm. I know I talk about it a lot, but it would still probably be a 40 gallon terrarium for Venus. She needs - and deserves - it. Honestly, have you ever danced naked? NOOOOOOOO. What was the first illegal thing that you did? Did you get caught? Downloaded music. My mom eventually found out, but didn't care much. What is the home page on the computer you’re on? Google. Do you like to write poetry? I do, but I haven't done it in a while. :/ Are your ears pierced? Yes. If so, were they pierced with a piercing gun, or with a sterile needle? Piercing gun. Which, by the way, do not do. There are many more risks with a piercing gun versus a needle by a professional. Do you wear makeup regularly? I never do. Did you eat cereal for breakfast today? No. I've been on a bagel kick lately. When was the last time you tripped over something? Last night, actually. The rug in the living room was slightly turned up, and I tripped in the dark. I didn't actually fall, thankfully. Any obsessive-compulsive tendencies? I'm diagnosed with OCD. I experience more ruminations and intrusive thoughts more than obsessive behaviors, though. Who was the last person you yelled at? Probably Mom. Why did you yell at them? I don't remember. Favorite type of apple? I like pink lady apples. I really enjoy any, so long as they're crisp. Ever seen live horse racing? No. To be totally honest, I don't really like the concept of it. Motivating a horse to run by hurting it doesn't exactly seem moral... How about live greyhound racing? No. What’s one thing, besides the obvious, that you couldn’t live without? The Internet, haha. Have you ever touched a giraffe? No. What does your mom call you? Britt. What stresses you out the most in life? I really don't think I could pick a top one. There are so many. Do you play any PC games? What is your favorite? Yeah. Y'all probably know WoW is my favorite. If you were pregnant, how would you tell the father? Well, that would depend on the circumstances. Did we want a baby? Was it a bad surprise, a happy surprise? I can't answer this with just one idea. What’s the hardest level you can play on Guitar Hero? I used to be able to slam out Expert easily with only very few songs I had to play on Hard, but now it's been YEARS. I've played less than once in a blue moon, and my skill's definitely faded some. It really depends on the song. What ever happened with you and your first boyfriend? He couldn't handle my depression anymore. What’s your favorite country song? "When The Stars Go Blue" by Tim McGraw, probably. What is the worst thing a former boyfriend/girlfriend has done to you? Fail to communicate what he was feeling with me and then make a dashing break for it very, very abruptly after three and a half years. It put me past a state of shock, but trauma with how no less than obsessed I was with him. What were you for Halloween last year? I didn't dress up. :/ I wish I had the money and motivation alike to. Are you feeling guilty for something? I always will. Are you usually quiet or loud? Quiet. How many hours do you spend on the computer a day? Like... uh... all of them, oof. What is the show that you watched when you were little, and you still do? Meerkat Manor. Do your siblings text you? Not really. Do you want a small or big wedding? Small. Have you ever searched for your own house on Google Earth? Not the house I currently live in, but I have before. Who is your ex dating/talking to? I don't know. Ever kissed someone who smokes? No. Does it take a lot for someone to annoy you? Frankly, no. Do you own your own computer? This laptop, anyway. Did you ever have to share a room with one of your siblings? Yes, with my younger sister as a kid and pre-teen. What noises in the room you’re in, do you hear at the moment? I hear the video I'm watching, as well as my fan. Have you ever dated someone with longer hair than yours? Yes. What’s the biggest upcoming event for you? Nothing. Not like that's a surprise. What do you typically order from Wendy’s? Son of the Baconator. @_@ Have you ever been given a lapdance by an actual stripper? No. Those are so awkward to me. What do you love most about yourself? I don't know these days. Have you ever received a hickey from the last person you kissed? No. What are you doing right now? This survey and re-watching John Wolfe play Outlast 2. What’s bothering you right now? I'm immensely nervous about tomorrow. I have my first (and I pray the fuck to God not only) session with my new personal trainer then, and I'm terrified by how my body and my mental fortitude is going to react. Y'all have no fucking idea JUST how out of shape I am, and the muscles in my legs seem basically non-existent by now. I have to do something about my health, though, and I'm determined to make this shit work. More than determined. I know the first day is going to be hard, but I need to do this more than I can explain. What was the last thing you drank? ... What great fucking timing, I have a can of Mountain Dew, lol... That's another thing that needs to change. I've gotta stop the emotional and boredom-eating and chill the fuck out with soda. Be honest, do you like people in general? Quite frankly, no. There are plenty of people I love and think are amazing, of course, but I think I lean towards humanity being too shitty to like "in general." Do you want your tongue pierced? I miss my snake eyes. :/ That was suuuuch a cute piercing. I just had to take it out for the safety of my teeth. I kept accidentally clamping down on one of the balls when eating, and it would cause tiny fractures. Do you change your phone background a lot? No. Have you ever made someone so mad that they broke something? No. Have you ever been strip searched? No. Do you have a funny last name? Does anyone make fun of it? It's not funny-sounding, no, I just think it's too manly for me to enjoy as part of my name. Ever have a drug overdose? What did you OD on exactly? Yes. Oddly enough, I don't remember what I OD'd on now... You'd think I would, given how extreme the situation was. It was some cold medicine. Do you get sick of people who call themselves bipolar all the time? I absolutely do. It's extremely insensitive to people like myself who legitimately suffer - and I do mean "suffer" - from the disorder. Describe your day so far in three words: Dull. Lazy. Anxious. What was the most stressful project you had so far/while in school? Probably my senior project and the presentation I had to do for it. I taught about the fallacies and misconceptions of snakes, and I made a PowerPoint and some drawings to color and crosswords for the special ed children. I was so, so very nervous, but I got through it fine and the kids seemed to enjoy it. I actually still have the recording. Choose one- Butterfinger, Milky Way, Snickers: MILKY WAY. FUCK I love those. Have you ever stepped in dog poop? UGH yes. What was the last thing you spent money on? My niece's birthday present. Have you ever slept in the same bed with the last person you kissed? Yeah. Is there a guy that knows a lot about you? I almost said "yes," but then I realized he doesn't know me at all anymore. I've changed so much, hopefully mostly for the better. He hasn't "known" me in many years. Is there someone you just can’t imagine your life without? It's terrifying to imagine my life without Mom; Sara, too. Do you prefer Starbucks coffee or small cafe coffee? I prefer no coffee. Would you ever consider getting a piercing in your septum? Nah. Do you enjoy being outdoors? If it's cool outside and I have somewhere to sit that's not the ground, yes. Do people tell you that you have an accent? Sometimes. Do you enjoy watching fireworks on the 4th of July? They're pretty, but I don't support their usage by this point in my life. They're a fire hazard, triggering to some vets with PTSD, and beyond terrifying for animals. What’re some unspeakable subjects for you? I get most heated about child molestation. You do not fucking touch a child like that. I don't even write any of my bajillion evil guys committing it in RP because I just can't stomach it. Even when my little sister (a children's social worker) is telling Mom about some stuff she sees at work, I have to not be present, 'cuz that shit isn't rare. It's nauseating. Is there anyone you would take a bullet for? A good number of people, honestly. Do you enjoy tanning? Hell no, I avoid the sun and heat at like all costs. Are you a virgin? This is going to sound weird, but I actually don't know, but I lean towards no. Who’s your celebrity crush? mARK EDWARD FISCHFUCK Did or do you get good grades in English class? I was always excellent in English. What part of your body are you self-conscious about? My stomach. But I'm self-conscious about everything else, too. Are you expected to help fix Thanksgiving dinner? No. Everyone knows I can't cook worth a damn. Have you ever lost anyone close to cancer? Truly close, no. Unless you include pets, actually. Then a few. :/ Do you personally know anyone who is transgender? Yep. When was the last time you got a shot? Earlier this year for Covid. Get your fucking vaccine, btw. :^)

#survey #surveys #random questions #lyrics: ''altaer" by 3teeth

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