#anti scar

[thefirstlioveyou]

if you think about it, because mike is under the impression el needs him and always will, the moment mike tells el he loves her, that's him deciding to stay in the closet for the rest of his life. that's him deciding to live the rest of his life in this lie just so he won't lose her again. he's willing to do anything and everything if it meant not reliving his trauma over again. that's him willing to stay in an unhappy relationship for the rest of his life just like his parents just to make sure the one thing that gives him some sort of normalcy and his existence a purpose doesn't leave him again.

[casurlaub]

Remus Lupin doesn't have visible scars

In the books Remus doesn't have any visible scars that we know of (don't talk to me about the movies). It's safe to assume that Greyback's bite/attack left a scar because Greyback scarred Bill without even having transformed, but we never see Remus's bite scar. Remus himself tells us that werewolf wounds are cursed and that he bit and scratched himself. But there's nothing to suggest Remus has scars on parts of his body usually visible to the public, let alone is covered in them.

In fact, it's far more likely that he doesn't have any visible scars, or if he did, that they were very inconspicuous.

Because - although Harry can be oblivious at times - Harry notices a great deal about his appearance. Forgive me for not using the exact quotes here, but:

Harry notices that Remus looks quite young, notices his hair color (light brown), but also that it's already flecked with grey, he notices the state of his robes, he notices his pallid skin (more than once), he notices how he looks as if he had a few square meals, he notices how he looks ill again, how his robes hang loosely from his shoulders, he notices his facial expressions in great detail (e.g. shaken and pleased), he notices throughout the years how his hair becomes greyer, and his robes more patched and shabby. But he never mentions facial scars or scarred hands. And when he calls Remus to him in the Forbidden Forest, Remus - in death - looks younger and his hair is thicker and darker, but Harry doesn't notice any sudden absence of scars.

So, it's one of two things... Either Remus cast glamour charms on himself regularly (but why wasn't his corpse covered in scars then?)... or he simply didn't have any scars in places that would be visible when wearing normal clothing. Considering Harry's astute observation (that sounds sarcastic, but for once I'm not), the latter is far more likely. After all, he notices Moody's scars right away.

Why does this matter, you ask? Let the man have scars! It adds to his tragedy! Well, I disagree.

It matters because it shows that the whole idea of him (werewolves) being dirty, contaminated, stained is linked to his very being. Nothing he does can change a thing about it, it is linked to him because he is a werewolf, not because he looks or acts like a werewolf or any certain kind of way. His 'dirtiness' isn't something that you can see from the outside, it isn't slammed into your face by his looks, meaning his appearance cannot be used as proof to justify prejudice against werewolves along the lines of 'oh, see, of course the violent werewolf is slashing himself'. It matters because it shows just how deep the stigma carries (not that discriminating against people who are considered physically unattractive is okay by any means - it's not!). People are appalled by him even though there's no visible proof of his alleged unhinged nature, they simply assume once they know because that's how werewolves are, right, and don't even give him a chance. Well, the thing is, Remus serves as proof that it - unhinged and feral - is not how werewolves are. In fact, the author made a great effort to make Remus as un-werewolf-y as possible. Yes, he's poor, his clothes are in a bad state, but that's due to the circumstances; he didn't discard basic hygiene and surrender to his wolfish nature like Greyback. He's not only fighting for the side that continues to oppress him (and ffs, he's even identifying with it!), dying a martyr for them, he's constantly narrated as talking 'mildly', 'softly', 'pleasantly', and 'quietly'. Yes, Remus isn't always nice and he's not naive; he's a real warrior. But covering him in scars takes away from that alleged contradiction, it takes away from how meaningful it is when he at times loses his precious self-control, because it is already putting him closer to the feral, unhinged being he is in society's eyes.

Also, the absence of visible scars puts much more weight onto Remus's character. He is mild and pleasant and quiet although he doesn't really have to be. There's nothing on the outside he has to make up for. He's not physically intimidating, there's nothing feral about him, nothing to give away his werewolf status at first glance. And he still does it because it's just so important to him not to be seen as the usual werewolf. That must never happen. If he had visible scars he would have much more reason to adjust his behavior. So, him doing it nonetheless hits harder, because it shows us, how much he himself really identifies with being a werewolf. He's not primarily acting like that because the expectation of others he wants to prove wrong, but because he himself sees it a necessity even before others can have any expectations of him. It puts a different weight onto his avoidant behavior and his self-loathing. Because he is shunning himself in anticipation of being shunned. It's not his appearance that takes the decision away from him. It really shows how deep his self-loathing runs, how deep the mere knowledge of being a werewolf, not looking like one, not acting like one defines him. And I think that's part of the point of his condition - his own view of himself and the view of others, both looking at him through the lens of 'werewolf' first and foremost although there's no real evidence to suggest he's different from other people - at least not in a sense that should matter to others.

Moreover, his scars might - would probably - serve as a reminder of how awful his transformations truly were. Without them, it - the pain - becomes invisible to a degree. Which is part of the tragedy. It is so easy to forget an illness you cannot relate to when it's invisible. And by forget I don't mean really forget, but forgetting what it truly meant for him. No matter your compassion - a reality that isn't yours might slip your mind unless it is constantly brought to your mind. But with a lack of scars it isn't.

Focusing on the scars as much as we do also seems to drag the focus away from one aspect of lycanthropy that is canon - him being weary, exhausted, drained of energy. He's constantly pale, pallid, looks as if he hasn't eaten enough, he sleeps through the train ride to Hogwarts in PoA despite the Sneakoscope going off, the trolley witch, Malfoy, Crabbe, and Goyle visiting, Ron knocking things over. Don't get me wrong, it's possible to show them both hand in hand - scars and exhaustion - (and I've seen it done well), but more often than not his scars/physical wounds take over the main focus. Suddenly the focus shifts to something that is cooler, more sexy instead of showing how unsexy a chronic illness feels. What should be a reminder of his suffering is used to glamorize his condition, hung as a medal of bravery around his neck, is at worst misused to serve for some sexy scar tending while other aspects of his lycanthropy are tossed out of the window. Because tiredness, exhaustion, queasiness, soreness, pain, patience running low and nerves stretched thin because of all that and feeling like a burden to those around you all the while pretending to be fine for fear of actually being a burden just aren't sexy. So... just no.

Sympathy is all good and well, but don't use his scars as an excuse to turn his condition into something cool.

[moldy-flowers]

Trying to find a Sasuke x Sakura shipper that understands the complexity of Sasukes character and the trauma he went through and doesn't write him as a stone cold bad boy Is like trying to find a needle in a dystopian world in which sewing is illegal.

[somewhereincairparavel]

[TW: grooming] Gentle reminder that Luke castellan was a 19 year old adult going after a 14 year old Silena, emotionally manipulating her and basically grooming her into giving him information. (Luke was said to have recruited Silena sometime after he left chb, which is basically the ending of TLT and Silena was 14 in TLT while Luke was 19) and continued to do so for 4 YEARS (the time between TLT and TLO is 4 years, and Silena only stopped falling into the trap after Charlie died, which was in TLO)

I hope the pjo timeline is an eye opener for the naive as fuck fans defending and justifying Luke's behaviour and having the audacity to deny that Silena was indeed groomed.

There's a difference between appreciating well written complex characters vs actually glossing and meat riding their problematic and questionable behaviour. A huge fucking difference. I think Luke is a good written character, but seeing the amount of fans justifying him being a creep scares me.

"Grooming" (I took the definition straight out of the internet for the detectives that will probably scrutinize and chew on my post lmao) is when someone builds a relationship, trust and emotional connection with a child or young person so they can manipulate, exploit and abuse them.

Luke took advantage of Silena to BOTH manipulate AND exploit her for information.

Don't even get me started on the "he had a terrible home life, he was traumatized as a kid, what else can you expect?" yeah he was, but how was that Silena's fault? She shouldn't have to be taken advantage of , suffer without even realizing it, and pay the price to Luke's insanity, just because Luke had internalized issues like other demigods did?? How is that a fucking excuse??

pls look me in the eye and tell me that Luke was "so hot because of how crazy, messed up and unhinged he is"

[gor3sigil]

Ngl I'm starting to get really pissed about ppl using top surgery scars as an aesthetic accessory, but who would rather die than have the character be a trans man.

Like, am I the only one who notices that most of the time, the characters with top surgery scars in queer comics are

- Background characters you'll know nothing about, being there just here to be here and to have ✨️the Scars✨️

- Non-binary but NOT trans men

- Transmasc but NOT trans men

And if the queer comic in question has feminist implications, these characters will be sorted in the exact same category as cis men and be out of this subject.

Can we PLEASE have trans men representation that isn't just to "be here" ?

[srdonix]

Stucky and kisses

[agentrouka-blog]

Sometimes I think GRRM is much more sensitive to Sansa than he is to Dany, regarding their dynamics with older men.

I think he's trying to say something about Dany by the way she perceives these men and their interactions, and not in an unsympathetic way.

The Stark children aren't somehow inherently better or "made different" than other characters in the series. We see them face horrible things, but often times we also see them magically spared from sharing a fate that is depicted happening to their mirrors. Take the miller's sons dying in the place of Bran and Rickon. Take the horrible tales of rape and murder that Arya only ever overhears. Take Lollys vs. Sansa during the riots. Some of it is happenstance, some of it is their noble status, some of it is prior relationships, some of it is simply plot armor.

But the key of their emotional resiliance lies in the fact that their parents loved them, modeled a reasonably stable and loving marriage, and raised them with attention and principles. They were not perfect by far, and utterly products of their time, but they were solid and they were present. The Stark children have a sense of how the world can work and they have a sense of self that is fairly secure, even through hardship.

Characters like Dany, or Tyrion, or Cersei, tend to become what they are because they are not spared in key ways. And they did not have that crucial foundation.

Dany is not raised lovingly. She is not spared marital rape. She has no home to cling to in her memories, no model of healthy family dynamics - and literally no one who ever bothers to try and genuinely help her for her own sake.

So she doesn't know what healthy dynamics are. Not true justice, not consent, not a relationship of equals, not genuine tenderness. She can't take refuge in her inner child, she killed her in chapter three. She has no healthy outlet for her grief and her rage. She has no concept of a happy future that isn't tied to power. She has no framework for a different reality. And that is what we see play out in her arc. And that is also why her relationships with men are depicted as they are. The misery she experiences in reality is unmitigated by even a sense of injustice and validation of her pain by anyone around her. So she erases that misery from her reality. She invents an uneasy pretense of equality based on her queenship and later her dragons that leaves her feeling empty and powerless without understanding why.

She may never ever understand why.

It's a tragedy. It's the tragedy, that, I think, GRRM is trying to tell through her. She should have been given help. Any scrap of love, and she may not have become what she did.

So when Sansa is spared and emotionally survives on a privilege of having been loved, we must also imbue her character with the obligation to pass it on, to show mercy, to love, to help. Same with the rest of the Starks.

And when they fail, like Robb did, they will not prosper.

[kanejbr3kker]

Okay I need to vent. This morning I saw this on my fyp:

(btw I'm choosing not to reblog the original post and instead just post screenshots because this is definitely a rant and since the creator and I clearly have different opinions, so I decided it's just better to leave them out of this)

Anyways, I saw this and I got pissed. Very very pissed. And so I spent 2 and a half hours writing a whole three page essay explaining everything wrong with this.

So here it is. (:

First of all, the Darkling does every single thing listed here for Nikolai, excluding cutting people’s fingers off, but he does commit mass murder, which I personally consider to be worse than cutting off someone’s fingers. 

Anyways, let’s first just address Nikolai’s reasons for doing each of these things and then the Darkling’s reasons for doing the same things.

Cutting the fingers off a man: Nikolai was a teenager who wanted to help his incredibly war torn country. He felt helpless, and even once he became a privateer, a lot of people still disrespected him because of his age, so he proved his ruthlessness by injuring one person, so he could help save his entire country. 

Usurping the throne: First of all, Nikolai was second in line to the throne, and after Vasily died, he would’ve been first. Also, the current king was an ignorant rapist who let the rest of the country go to waste to fuel his own luxuries. Nikolai wanted to rescue his country from war and a ruler that was doing nothing to stop hundreds of people (many of them kids) from dying in unnecessary battles.

Lying to Alina/hiding information from her: All Nikolai did was hide his identity from Alina to get her safely away from the Darkling who had just kidnapped her for the second time in less than a year. Kissed her without her consent: Okay, let’s just preface this by saying Malina was what got me hyperfixated on the Grishaverse, so seeing Nikolai kiss Alina did upset me, but he did it spread hope to the Ravkan villagers. They were also already spreading around a fake engagement, so while it was wrong, it wasn’t like he was trying to manipulate her. Nikolai was just trying to make their marriage more believable. (I’d also like to address a scene later in the book where Alina actually wants Nikolai to kiss her, and he says no, knowing that she just wants a distraction and isn’t really in love with him).

And now for why the Darkling did all the same things. 

Trying to usurp the throne: The Darkling hates the king, but not because he’s a terrible person, but because he’s ignorant and the Darkling knows he could be using the Fold to expand Ravka’s power. The Darkling usurps the throne so he can try and take over the country, not because he wants to save it.

Lying to Alina/hiding information from her: Unlike Nikolai, he wasn’t trying to protect her. The Darkling lied to Alina so she would believe that 1) he was in love with her and 2) he wanted to save Ravka. We know this isn’t true. When Nikolai lies, he does it to protect Alina, but when the Darkling lies he does it to manipulate her.

Kissed Alina without her consent: The Darkling tried to convince Alina he was in love with her so she would be easier to manipulate. Alina even says she doesn’t know how he feels about her, and that she doesn’t believe he loves her, but that she wants to be wanted by him. 

And now for everything else the Darkling does:

Mass murder: He destroyed an entire town just to prove a point. 

“Gifting” Genya to the Lantsovs, and then allowing her to be continually raped by them

for years. More than anything else, I feel like this proves just how terrible he is.

Killing his own mother: No explanation needed, that’s just awful.

Threatening to kill Mal to make sure Alina stays in line. He enslaved Alina. He put an unremovable collar around her neck that forced her to do whatever he wanted, and then promised to kill her boyfriend just in case that wasn’t enough.

Using kids as bargaining chips. Using grown people is bad enough, but kids. Sure, they’re Grisha, but they aren’t strong enough to fight back, especially after seeing their captor kill Ana Kuya, who helped care for them while they were in hiding. (Also just felt like adding that Nina was one of the students who he used as a bargaining chip. That’s honestly pretty unimportant, but if you needed another reason to hate him.)

Killing Alina’s mother figure: Again, he did this just to prove a point. He wanted to show Alina that he could hurt the people she cared about, and that was his only incentive.

So that the first 75% of my rant, but I also made the mistake of looking at the comments on that post and added a whole extra page responding to those.

Saying that the same thing can be applied to Kaz is so fucking disrespectful. Kaz is a traumatized teen. Is he violent? Yes. But he only hurts people who have hurt him, his friends, or other innocent people. Oomen nearly killed Inej, as well as the other crows, so Kaz hurt him because he cared about his friends and was mad that they were almost killed. When the Darkling kills people, it’s out of greed for power and the fact that he knows it’ll get a rise out of Alina.

And then this. Kaz calls Inej an investment because he values her. She said four words to him and chose to pay off her indenture. She ended up being not only an incredible spy, but an incredible friend as well. Kaz didn’t need to pay off her indenture, but he did because despite everything terrible that he does, he’s still a genuinely good person, and didn’t want to see a woman being exploited the way she was. An investment is something you value, which is why Kaz calls her one.

Also, Kaz makes a big point of Inej not belonging to anyone. He didn’t force her to get the Dregs tattoo, because he didn’t “want to be the one to mark her again.” He recognized that she was an independent person, and by not making her have the tattoo, he was giving her the freedom to leave Ketterdam when her indenture was paid off. Also, when Inej tells Kaz she wants to leave Ketterdam, he literally buys her a boat so she can leave. That’s not how you treat your property.

And as for the Darkling, he used Alina’s power to start a civil war. What he does is beyond redemption. The Darkling exploits and manipulates women. He abuses and assaults them to reach his own goals, most of which involve destroying the rest of the world so that Ravka stays in power. Comparing him to two kids who just do what they have to to survive is so disrespectful, and clearly you misunderstood the messages of the books if you think that Kaz and Nikolai are the same as the Darkling.

So that's my little anti-Darkling rant. I've already tortured my frienda with this, so if they didn't think I was insane before, they do now lol.

[stromuprisahat]

“Where is the shrine to my aunt? To Saint Harshaw? To Sergei or Marie or Fedyor? Who will worship them and light candles in their names?”

King of Scars- Chapter 14

My, my, my... all I care about are the people ~I~ knew personally, by name.

“Where is the shrine to Ivan's family? To Saint Ivan? To dozens of nameless oprichniki or Grisha slaughtered in pogroms following the expansion of the Fold? To hundreds of unnamed Grisha the Darkling was responsible for, who disappeared between the beginning of Alina's story and its end? Who will worship them and light candles in their names?”

Or better- who remembers them enough to mention their existence?!

[finifugue]

[voice of somebody who was far too deep in the one direction fandom in the 2010s] haha yeah lestappen haha they love each other. but they don't really right? like we all agree that they aren't actually in tender homosexual love with each other right? lol. haha yeah they're so in love with each other but we're not gonna ask one of them to take a paternity test to prove their child is theirs right guys. haha. guys. right?

[kitty-meowskers]

the answer is yes btw

[vampyriix]

finished my spooky!lads designs :D

[dcvina-claires]

“but the darkling’s mother abused him” literally shut up. wylan’s father abused him and he never groomed anyone. zoya’s mother tried to sell her and she never sexually assaulted anyone. genya was abused by the king and she’s not a manipulator. inej suffered inhumane treatment and she never wiped out a population. being abused isn’t an excuse to be an abuser

[carto0ncritter]

There's a difference between choosing to forgive your abuser (that is for the victim to decide) and choosing to be in a committed relationship with them. Just saying

[sunayyyy]

One AU that i think has major angst potential is jason todd and damian wayne meeting in the league of assassins, but it's not the way that you think.

Usually, these AU's show that jason and damian had a good relationship, but damian felt abandoned when jason left to become the red hood so he doesn't mention their bond at all, or jason forgets about damian when he gets dipped in the pit, or both of them escaping the league or staying in the league together. And yes, the angst from some of these is amazing, and some of the works are really cute, but what if the angst happens after they've arrived in gotham?

Jason tells damian that he's leaving the league to clean up gotham, and when damian gets upset, he tells him that it's so he can meet his father. And so you go through the whole UtRH arc, except damian goes to bruce before jason reveals himself. However, when with bruce, damian gets convinced that jason really was angry and reckless as robin and got himself killed (even though he probably knows how exactly jason died, jason would trust him with the thing with sheila. He'd intend it to be a lesson as to why you shouldn't blindly trust anyone, even family) After the reveal and the whole fallout from there, damian comes to the conclusion that the best way to get closer to his father and 'show his loyalty' is to bash jason.

Of course, he wouldn't really mean it, at first. I mean, that's jason, his brother, one of the only people who showed him unconditional love and kindness. But then he gets more and more invested in the whole blood heir thing, and it eases his guilt, just a bit. Then he starts rationalising it. Since jason isn't here, he won't care what he says behind his back. Right? This goes on until damian buries the version of jason he knew and replaces him with the failure robin. Damian stops seeing jason as his brother and statts seeing him as a burder or an unworthy predecessor.

Well, jason hears everything he says, since he has access to the security in the batcave. And it hurts, worse than when bruce or alfred or dick say those things, because damian KNOWS better. He thought that his love was reciprocated, that their time at the league meant something to both of them, but he thought wrong.

In my mind, this would make jason grow numb. He'd still do the outlaws thing, but he wouldn't try to get in contact with any of the bats. And if damian held these beliefs, would talia be the same? Would roy and kori? This would cause jason to self isolate and only come to gotham once every few months to make sure his empire is going strong, then dip and do whatever.

Since he prefers being alone and doesn't want any real connection to anyone, i think JayRose would be perfect here. In my opinion, jayrose is best when both of them are super fucked up but end up helping each other heal. They'd see themselves in each other, offering themselves up to their families just to be met with betrayal.

I previously talked about how a fully realised/healed jason could take on anyone in the batfam save cass, and once he finds this out, he just sets up full time in gotham with rose. Rose would be his right-hand woman, and they'd take over. I like jaytemis, i really do, but i feel like jason and rose would just be a better couple here. You could have artemis and bizarro help jason as well. In this au, i feel like jason wouldn't have a strong relationship with roy and kori, even though i love their dynamic, so i don't want to involve them here. Bruce fights jason for the first time since utrh and thinks it's gonna be easy, just to be laid flat on his ass with a broken arm while jason discusses what he wants to eat with rose after patrol.

Once the bats start to realise what's happening, and once they find out everything they've been fed by bruce and alfred was just bullshit, i think they'd get really angry. Jason todd, the supposed failure, managed to get control of gotham while fighting them all off, and has the loyalty of a superman clone and the shim'tar, not to mention slade wilson's daughter. His operation might even be deemed dangerous enough to warrant a justice league level interference. Things would grow really tense, and they'd try to reach out, but jason has moved on, and he doesn't want anything to do with them. The only thing that ties him to them is bruce wayne, and that's really not great for them.

When the illusion shatters, i think the most affected out of all of the bats would be damian. He allowed himself to disrespect and bash his brother just for his father, and it would haunt him. You can have them reconcile if you want to, but i don't. This thing with damian fucked jason up, and i don't think he would forgive him. He'd understand and have sympathy, but he wouldn't be able to trust damian again.

[louhilainen]

I hated how the Nikolai duology pushed Alina, Zoya and Alina into the role of victims. I’m not saying the girls didn’t have a reason to hate the Darkling and that their grudge should have been left out of the books, but I just hated how badly it was written.

Alina being the Darkling’s victim undermines her. She was a woman who almost buried the Darkling alive, left him on the mercy of volcras and in the end, killed him with her own hands. Yeah, the Darkling did fucked up shit and she has a reason to hate him. But she wasn’t just a victim. The Darkling saw her as a threat. I cannot say if he saw her as his equal, but he saw potential and grew to admire her (and want her, lol). But the books seem to forget that and treat Alina like some fragile thing that needs to be protected from the evil Darkling.

Zoya says straight up that he manipulated her (Do you… I look back and I hate knowing how easy I was to manipulate.) Well, I cannot see how he manipulated her??? She did have a crush on him, but the Darkling did nothing to encourage those feelings. Yes, Zoya has every reason to hate Darkling about the attack on the Novokribirsk, and those feelings should be explored. But please, Zoya, don’t make up a narrative where you were his victim. You aren’t that special (Honestly, if the Darkling manipulated me I would thank him on my knees, be grateful Zoya loooool).

I can understand Genya hating the Darkling for making the nichevo'ya attack her. But the fault of her rape cannot be entirely put to the him. I seriously doubt even the Darkling had the foresight to see the King raping her. Yes, the Darkling should have taken her away from the Little Palace, and not given her choice for revenge. I don’t doubt for a second that Genya’s choice was convenient for him, but the Darkling did give her the choice to leave. (And he didn’t make nichevo'ya mutilate her because she challenged him, but because she defied his orders, but let’s not go there.)

I hated the scene in the end where Genya gives a speech about growing stronger from her experience and blaa blaa. It’s just so…. Unnatural and forced. I’m going to repeat myself, that I don’t have a problem with their grudges or hating the Darkling, I have just a problem with the way it was written. There’s no nuance or not showing how the manipulation affected them. It’s just telling, not showing. When reading a book, I don’t want to be preached to. I want to be immersed in the characters’ emotions and experiences. I want to be made to feel what they feel. I don’t want the narrative to push some kind of “right” way of interpreting the book. It just makes me feel annoyed and takes me out of the experience.