#and when you do finally realise WHY

[fandomsnrambles]

The inherent tragedy in Wu and Lloyd unknowingly putting high expectations onto their first students because they experienced high expectations themselves and thought it was NORMAL.

The inherent tragedy in unknowingly pushing their kids away and making them think they’re not good enough i.e Lloyd saying Arin can be better and Wu believing that Morro is the green ninja

The inherent tragedy in them being GENUINE of these things because they don’t know how bad their kids feel. The fact that ‘you could be the green ninja’/ ‘you could be so much better’ stem from pride in their kids.

The tragedy in the fact that Lloyd and Wu genuinely believed their kids were the best and could be the best leading to their kids (maybe for Arin) downfall

Generational Trauma am I right guys…

Haha, no I’m not going crazy, Wdym

(Just a lil side note I do hope people are more forgiving of Wu for his failings in Morro if they’re forgiving of Lloyd for maybe carrying out the same mistakes in the future in regards to Arin.)

[total-drama-brainrot]

Alenoah, where Noah cares about Alejandro, more than Alejandro's family did:

Noah: I will now torture you.

Alejandro: Kinky!~

Noah: I think you are brilliant and beautiful.

Alejandro: Wait!

Noah: You deserve to be cared for and loved, despite your mistakes.

Alejandro: No!

Noah: Your feelings and needs are valid, and deserve to be heard.

Alejandro: I need a safeword! 😳

Real.

[aroaessidhe]

2024 reads / storygraph

The Sword of Kaigen

standalone fantasy set in a rural mountain village at the edge of an empire that still holds traditional values, with families of powerful water/ice magic warriors

follows a powerful young heir who begins to question his beliefs about the empire when a new boy comes to his village from the city

and his mother, a housewife who has tried to forget her youth as a warrior and vigilante in the city since she moved back home to a loveless marriage

when there’s a violent attack on their village that they’re unprepared for, everything changes, and she has to embrace her old skills to protect her family and people

[inkblackorchid]

Love how this outtro contains both the biggest slap in the face the show has to offer as well as arguably my favourite shot of all outtros, full stop.

[not-poignant]

Hi Pia! You said that you need another vacation after this vacation, so I am not sure, how puppy situation, even if it partual custudy, affecting you ( may be you in panic when he is there and then recovering when he is not, and then round and round? ), but really, If you need another vacation, I hope you know we will be here to support you for it!

It's been nearly 4 weeks now since we got Toby so I feel like I can talk about this with a bit of a clear head.

(Talk of like an actual PTSD meltdown beneath the read-more, including self-harm mention - nothing graphic. There's zero obligation for anyone to read this, especially for folks who don't think authors should ever be honest about being people with issues):

So, I've been kind of quiet about aspects of this, but I have like severe treatment-resistant PTSD and C-PTSD, and puppies specifically are one of my triggers (especially if I'm responsible for them). The reason for that is kind of awful, and I don't really want to talk about some of the things I've experienced/been through that led to that, so let's just move onto the next part. You're kind of right anon, there has been panic while he is here lol.

As a result, I had a severe meltdown the first time I tried to adopt a dog many years ago now. Could not last 24 hours, needed weeks/months to recover.

But I've always wanted to share my life with a dog and I've been in a somewhat better space over the past year or so, and I thought I could maybe handle it better. I told myself 'if I can just get through that 24 hours I'll realise it's okay and it will all work out.' Anon I cannot tell you where this thinking came from, but it was wrong. Idk why past me was kind of naive enough to think this way but here we are.

No, after that 24 hours, it got temporarily better, and then I slammed into consecutive meltdowns, each one worse than the next, until the people around me were afraid for my life. I am still recovering from some of the harm I inflicted on myself during the last three weeks and likely will be for some time to come. The combination of a really intense PTSD relapse, as well as not being able to handle (as an AuDHD person) intense changes to my schedule basically compounded and I broke.

I made the decision to rehome Toby, and first contacted the people around me. Glen's mum said she wanted a dog, and had been specifically looking into dogs like Toby anyway, and so we decided this would be best because then I could still be involved (I love Toby to pieces).

After getting some space, I finally started to adjust, and have gone back to having Toby about 4~ days a week, with a view to going to about 6 days, with one day spent with my mum, or Glen's mum.

Today is the first day I was able to handle having him on my own for around 9.5 hours. And I'm here and able to write about it, so that's progress. He'll be here all day Sunday, and then Tues-Weds-Thurs-Friday. And from there a decision will be made as to where I'm at with my mental health etc.

I'm a bit more hopeful now that I might be able to keep him, but my PTSD is still very very bad. I'm having some nights where I'm simply not sleeping until 7.30am (even if he's not here), and my hypervigilance is crazy. Like, I am having so many auditory flashbacks it's stupid. So this is why I've been saying this break hasn't been very restful or productive. Because my mental health tanked like I detonated a landmine inside myself.

I didn't actually plan the two week break for Toby! That was just a coincidence honestly.

Unfortunately I have a lot of health conditions that respond very poorly to stress, so I'm dealing with those now too. And then additionally, in all of this, I had a breast scan / mammogram / ultrasound that has confirmed a suspicious lump I found a couple of months ago (breast cancer runs in the family), and I suspect I'm going to need a biopsy. I'll find out on Monday if that's the case. That's been in the background and hasn't been helping.

There's some other stuff going on that's not really worth talking about because these are the main things, but that's a good picture I think. It turns out 'just getting through the first 24 hours' doesn't magically make a severe PTSD trigger go away. And that forced exposure is not 'exposure therapy' - that's just reinforcing a trigger.

Anyway! I feel like I'm through the worst of it, and I am seeing glimpses of how my life could be richer if I keep getting through this. But...that's why I think another break. *smiles tiredly.* I have to wait a bit now for the PTSD / C-PTSD symptoms to settle down, and I also need to see what's kind of worsened after this. Realistically, with a relapse to this degree, it could take between 3-6 months to really start recovering, or to at least get back to where I was before December.

I hope with all my heart I can get there with Toby by my side. I love him so much.

(I want to add that Toby has never ever been in a position of harm at any point, and in fact I probably put myself in harm's way for his sake, because I wanted to provide solid continuity of care - in case anyone was worried about that).

Er so yeah! But I've picked up my writing again this week and have been able to do some like...things I'd been neglecting, and I feel more human again, I just hope I get some sleep tonight

[thenwethrowitonthefire]

Shout-out to everyone who survived a "fun" easter with the family

[deus-ex-mona]

up next on chapter 36 of idol sengen… _(:3 」∠)_

[pynkhues]

I am very very curious about that tower scene because Sam said in an interview that he didn't think Lestat was at the tower voluntarily--so if Armand put him there, how much of Louis' memory of that scene is accurate? Lestat looks very well put-together for a prisoner, and how is he being kept there? So much about that scene felt intentionally odd (even, and you touched on this in your fic, that Lestat says that he wasn't kept in the room with the corpses/"disappointments", whereas he'd told Louis and Claudia that he was kept in a room with corpses).

I'm really curious too, anon! It definitely feels like one that's going to be revisited, probably in more ways than one given Magnus' tower is such a vital location across The Vampire Lestat, and it makes sense that Sam would say that too given Lestat's not there by choice in the book. Like you said, Armand takes him there after the trial (and pushes him out the window to debilitate him further) and I'm curious as to how much of that the show keeps. They've changed a few elements of that sequence already that I don't think can be reversed - like Claudia's dress ending up with Louis for instance, not Lestat - and the bigger fact of Louis seeing Lestat then at all when in the book Armand tells him Lestat died in the theatre fire even though he knows he didn't).

You're right though that it's an odd scene, both between how good Lestat looked (but then Louis' memories of how he looked at the trial too were coloured by other emotions given the revisited scenes at the end showed how unwell he actually looked) and that change in what Lestat tells Louis about where he was kept in Magnus' tower feels pointed given 2.08 spends quite a bit of time pointing out its own deliberate inconsistencies with s1 moments.

I think like a lot of these scenes, Louis' memory of it will be a partial truth, but it lacks the context that we have (and he now, at least, has some of). I also kiiind of imagine Lestat and Armand are probably talking to each other too with the mind link in that scene, but obviously we're not privvy to if that's happening or what it might entail yet.

I can't wait to see what they do with it.

[sisterdivinium]

Silence had always been her home — solitude.

Concentration shunned the noise of company and Jillian Salvius had long made secluded labs into sanctuaries.

Yet she found herself suddenly housing a nunnery — and suddenly she saw that presence was not all nuisance. Beatrice's step was light, Camila's voice low and Ava's laughter more song than hassle.

"If we can ever repay you..." Mother Superion said.

She was the greatest discovery, stern yet soothing: a partner whose every word was essential or unspoken instead.

Jillian smiled and shook her head.

She would not ask and risk ridicule — but they needed only stay.

[wherela]

one of those crying in the shower kind of days

[viktortittiforov]

the 2010s sure were a time in my life

[ivystitches]

you’re telling me that rory gets arrested and lorelai says nothing? what????

[princessmyriad]

Anyone with pokemon sword wanna help me out with some trades to fill out my dex?

I can offer any shield exclusives in return but ill need a bit of time to go catch them as i only have one of each so far but dm me for what youre looking for and i can make it a priority if youve got the ones i want to trade. I can even grab a shield dog if you wanted to do a dogswap. I have some shinies moved in from pokemon go too if thats something youre interested in.

I also need some that arent exclusive but need trading like aromatisse, rhyperior, escavalier and accelgor and so forth. I have a list so please dm if youve got sword or access to tradeable sword exclusives.

Thankyou!

[us-the-voices-and-more-voices-2]

me: wow, I uh actually am an okay person whoa.

also me: how is this possible it shouldn’t be why how why how why how why how why how why how.

[rubyarerosies]

lowkeyartist!sukuna who makes videos in his room to post on his instagram. Most of it is just him making new tunes that would most definitely be sampled by an artist sooner or later, while some are covers.

But I think what people mostly know him for is the different lady - or ladies - they see in the background sleeping in his bed. His name on twitter grows hectic whenever they see the girls in the back in some of his videos, slamming and dragging his name. Regardless, he stays radio silent on it.

It’s not until a song that had used one of his vids for a sample went popular and he begrudgingly goes live on instagram for his first Q&A due to popular demand. The questions flood in when his fans realise it’s not bullshit and he actually is there to talk with them.

And, like true Sukuna signature, there’s a mystery lady in his sheets behind him. The live notices immediately when he shifts a little to the edge giving them a glimpse of you, almost like he wants them to see.

“Does it wobble? Don’t make me end this live,” he says sternly, trying to subtly read questions that aren’t about you behind him in the chat. He finds it funny how the whole internet has been in an uproar this past year due to your constant impulse on making your hair look different every other month - different girls, like he’d ever, the thought makes him scoff.

“Why do you bring over so many girls? what do you mean? It’s just one,” he teases, his head turning over his shoulder to peek at you - yep, still sleeping.

His taunts to the questions have everyone on edge, and you’re just peacefully in dreamland. His scowl deepens when he sees many people question his honesty on the last answer, so he finally breaks and he reveals the long awaited truth.

“It’s just one girl because it’s my fiancé, we’ve been together since I started this shit,” he leans back in his chair, relief flowing through his veins now that everyone knows, “why does she look different all the time? My girl’s just impulsive.”

[birdylion]

Another red flag, in the later stages of grooming: 'others won't understand the special thing you and I have together so let's not tell them, okay?'

often followed by fake concern like 'I want to spare you their scorn - it would be so difficult for you. I don't want that for you'

It shifts the shame to the one being groomed and makes it hard for them to speak up for fear of (more) social hardship, while in reality most people will scorn the groomer and will be concerned for and want to help the other person

Grooming is when someone builds a relationship, trust and emotional connection with a child or young person so they can manipulate, exploit and abuse them.

Grooming Can Look Like:

ALT

1. "Is that your real name? I don't really like to call people by their usernames."

Asking for personal information right away - It gives a false sense of intimacy and can be used later to threaten or blackmail.

2. "I see you like Band. My parents hate them. 😂 Do your parents know your music tastes?"

Segueing quickly into private life, sometimes asking invasive questions about home, friends, family, etc - It tells them whether or not a person is isolated, unhappy, self-destructive, unsupervised, etc. The more vulnerable a person is, the more successful grooming can be.

3. "I like your fan art. Do you do nsfw? Nothing crazy, just flirty..."

Bringing up sexuality or other adult subjects in a general way - It pushes the person's boundaries gently, getting them to talk about nsfw things in a way that feels nonthreatening.

4. "That post made a good point. I would never guess you're 14. You're really mature and well-spoken."

Describing the person as mature, smart, wise, resourceful, street-smart, etc - It's flattering, and it gives the illusion of equality and respect in their interactions.

5. "People hate what they don't understand. You're just so unique. I get it."

Reinforcing that the person is unique, misunderstood, above others, etc - It increases isolation and forms a sense of dependance on the groomer.

6. "Omg look at this guy's outfit! It's so hot! You know, you could totally rock something like this!"

Sexualizing the person in flattering ways - It feels like a compliment and edges farther past typical boundaries, normalizing more and more sexual interactions.

7. "That guy was out of line. 😤 I couldn't help it, I messaged him and told him if he doesn't leave you alone I'll doxx him. He won't be back. He knows I'll do it. Please don't be mad, I just hate when people mess with my friends... "

Defending the person, often inappropriately - It's a show of devotion to the person, a display of the potential for aggression that serves to nudge boundaries, and can be used to threaten or coerce later.

8. "I'm totally with you on Ship X. It's so bigoted to break up Ship Y like that. We ought to try to get those freaks banned."

Creating an other to unify against, often inappropriately - It creates a sense of intimacy and serves as a way to push boundaries by encouraging inappropriate behavior.

9. "Idk why you let her waste ur time. U don't need phoneys like that. You have me!!! 😂"

Discouraging competing relationships - It increases isolation, vulnerability and dependence.

10. "Listen, don't worry about your phone bill. I got it. Sent it thru your Kofi, plus a little extra. You deserve it."

Giving gifts, money, or paying bills - It creates a sense of intimacy, and possibly financial dependence. And it can be used as a source of guilt.

11. "Where are you??? Tell whoever you're with that I miss my bff!!!!!"

Checking in, keeping tabs, tracking or asking for updates - It diverts the person's attention onto the groomer, interrupts their social life to further isolate, and creates a pattern of guilt and responsibility for the groomer's feelings.

12. "I can't believe you'd abandon me like this. You know I have depression. Are you trying to make me suicidal? The least you could do is give me a couple weeks to find a new therapist. I'm gonna need one now."

Threatening to harm themselves, or implying that they might if contact ends - It plays on that sense of guilt and responsibility and can be used long after abuse has happened, to prevent disclosure.

Grooming doesn't happen by accident. By definition, it's deliberate. When someone begins grooming, they have already decided to abuse. From that point on, interaction has one goal. It creates a situation where the person being targeted has conflicting emotions about what's happening, no one they trust to give advice, and no way to break out without being the bad guy.

The setup - the grooming behaviors themselves - vary. One abuser might use many approaches, and might even change methods if a target isn't receptive. I think we can all agree that guilt-tripping and displays of aggression aren't healthy under any circumstances, but many common behaviors are things that can happen outside of grooming, in other contexts, and be ok. (An old friend might give generous gifts purely out of friendship, but someone who's practically a stranger, giving generous gifts, acting like an old friend, is potentially predatory.) That's why it can be so hard to see. We can't simply ban their tools or latch onto keywords. There are no elements that are always present. There's no set pattern. There are few flags that are always red. It's not that simple.

The only reliable and realistic way to keep vulnerable ppl safe is to teach them to recognize potential grooming by looking at the entirety of the situation, to trust their feelings, and to speak up.