#and also the last year before the pandemic
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
Per Wikipedia
The first recorded epidemic affected the Sasanian Empire and their arch-rivals, the Eastern Roman Empire (Byzantine Empire) and was named the Plague of Justinian (541–549 AD) after emperor Justinian I, who was infected but survived through extensive treatment.[45][46] The pandemic resulted in the deaths of an estimated 25 million (6th century outbreak) to 50 million people (two centuries of recurrence).[47][48]
Medieval society's increasing population was put to deadly halt when, in the Late Middle Ages, Europe experienced the deadliest disease outbreak in history. They called it the Great Dying or The Great Pestilence, later coined The Black Death.[19] Lasting in potency for roughly six years, 1346–1352, the Black Death claimed one-third of the European human population, with mortality rates as high as 70%–80%.[19]
The plague resurfaced for a third time in the mid-19th century; this is also known as "the modern pandemic". Like the two previous outbreaks, this one also originated in Eastern Asia, most likely in Yunnan, a province of China, where there are several natural plague foci.[53] The initial outbreaks occurred in the second half of the 18th century.[54][55] The disease remained localized in Southwest China for several years before spreading. ... The third pandemic spread the disease to port cities throughout the world in the second half of the 19th century and the early 20th century via shipping routes.[57]
And those are just the pandemic-level event (that we know about). We have identified Yersinia pestis DNA on human teeth going back to about 5,000 years ago, so it has probably been a thing for humans at least that long.
And from the "Second Plague Pandemic" article:
The plague returned at intervals with varying virulence and mortality until the early 19th century. In England, for example, the plague returned between 1360 and 1363, killing 20% of Londoners, and then again in 1369, killing 10–15%.[16]
In the 16th century, the plague hit San Cristóbal de La Laguna in the Canary Islands between 1582 and 1583.[17]
In the 17th century, there were a series of European "great plague" outbreaks: the Great Plague of Seville between 1647 and 1652, the Great Plague of London between 1665 and 1666,[18] and the Great Plague of Vienna in 1679. The great plague of northern China arose in Shanxi in 1633 and arrived at Beijing in 1641, contributing to the downfall of the Ming Dynasty in 1644.[citation needed]
In the 18th century, there was the Great Plague of Marseille, which took place between 1720 and 1722;[19] the Great Plague of 1738, which occurred in Eastern Europe between 1738 and 1740; and the Russian plague of 1770–1772, which took place in Central Russia and particularly affected Moscow.
From "Plague (disease)":
Globally about 600 cases are reported a year.
From https://www.cdc.gov/plague/maps-statistics/index.html
Map of reported human plague cases in the United States, 1970-2022.
One thing people often forget about the Black Death is that the plague was still a major problem after the initial epidemic. There was a time before it and then there was a time after it. And it was always a concern. The last major urban outbreak was in Los Angeles in 1925. Only 100 years ago.
556 notes
·
View notes
Note
hiiiiiii i was reading your tags from the fic snippet and learned something new in that i did not Know ja’marr moved to dallas omgg 😀 can u provide some more info on this ✍🏿✍🏿✍🏿
Ofc! (This is long)
So from what I gather, after opting out, Ja'Marr went back home (Harvey, Louisiana - close to NOLA) until about November, when he moved to Dallas to get ready for the draft. In the Najee-Jaylen-Ja'Marr house thing they did (which includes what Pro Day was like post-COVID and has some other videos about the draft itself), Ja'Marr says himself that he hasn't actually been at the LSU campus ever since he opted out. (Also if you look at his twitter, he was live-tweeting LSU games lol).
Everything else below are articles mentioning Ja'Marr going to Dallas, as well as some other information regarding COVID-era Ja'Marr, sprinkled with my own little comments in between 🙂
So first off, the Dallas thing is specifically mentioned in this article by the Advocate (I'm going to include the necessary paragraphs bc some of these are paywalled smh)
There were more uncertain times, too. Chase opted out of the 2020 season during preseason camp last year, a time in which the pandemic was surging and there was tension in the football operations building after a mishandled team meeting regarding the team's player-led march amid national protests against police brutality. Chase told reporters at LSU's Pro Day that his decision to leave was because "I had a lot of stuff going on with my family at the time." Chase dedicated his time toward becoming a professional. From November until March, he lived and worked out at the EXOS training facility in Dallas. After almost a year out of public sight, he coolly ran a 4.38-second 40-yard dash at pro day — an impressive enough time that Jimmy said coaches and trainers told Ja'Marr he could shut it down. "I came here to put on a show," Ja'Marr told them, then proceeded to run routes and individual drills.
~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~ ·
The Athletic (which i honestly trust more) goes more into detail into Ja'Marr's exact location. Apparently, Ja'Marr moved from Baton Rouge back home (it sounds like it was about September). Then in November, he went to Dallas. This article also includes some more information on Ja'Marr's experience in quarantine. That quote by Ja'Marr's dad really opened my eyes, because Ja'Marr was never really alone before this. He was always part of a team, always surrounded by people until... well, he wasn't. (Also now that I think about it, Ja'Marr did say he started watching tape because of Joe and apparently spent most of this year -which was away from Joe- watching tape... maybe it reminded him of Joe 👀)
Ja’Marr stayed in Baton Rouge initially after opting out in August. He remained close with his teammates, especially the receiving corps at first. But once the season cranked up, Ja’Marr moved back home, feeling a sense of isolation without football... “We kept him close to home. We noticed that he was struggling a little bit. Life without football. Life without a team. His whole life changed. It was his first time not playing sports since he was a young kid. Gamedays were the hardest day.” One thing jumped out to Jimmy as they watched games together, though. He never fully grasped his son’s football IQ. “We watched the games with him,” Jimmy said. “He would call the plays before the snap was gone. And he would say how Terrace (Marshall) needs to do this because the defense is about to do this. And Racey (McMath) needs to do this so he needs to watch out for this. He’d call the play and I was like, ‘Damn!’ It would happen just like he said. So sitting out actually helped in that sense. He never really watched football. He was always playing. Now all he could do was watch it. He told me and I saw how much it helped him.” Watching games with Ja’Marr, his parents sensed his pent-up energy. He was healthy, but he wasn’t playing. The energy fed right into Ja’Marr’s passion for working out. He’d run to the gym often after games to let that energy free. The regimented workout routine really kicked up about six months ago. “He’s been at EXOS (A Dallas-based training facility) since November,” Jimmy said. “They had an opt-out session group that started out where they would work out three days a week. So he started out there at the end of October or early November. That lasted until the end of December. Then in January, he started getting into the more combine workouts. He’s been working hard and getting stronger. That’s really the only thing that’s been keeping him sane is working. That’s all he could do.”
~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~ ·
This Sports Illustrated article further confirms he was in Dallas for at least part of 2020-2021. It also adds that Ja'Marr was so pent-up that he apparently wanted to opt back in (probably bothered by LSU being kinda shit that year -that third game, LSU lost 45-41 💀).
He spent the off-year training in Dallas, studying film and watching his former college teammates struggle through to a 5-5 COVID-impacted 2020 season. What many don’t know, his dad says, is Chase nearly returned to LSU midseason. “People don’t realize how close he was to coming back,” Jimmy says. “After the third game, he was watching and jumped off the sofa after they lost. He said ‘I’m about to opt back in!’ It was killing him.” The family seriously explored whether Chase would have been eligible to return (Jimmy says Ja’Marr would have) and spoke to coaches at length about his reinstatement. In the end, Ja’Marr remained on the sidelines.
~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~ ·
This Washington Post article also goes more into depth about the impact COVID had on Ja'Marr's family and what went into the decision to opt-out (Ja'Marr apparently has a hole in his heart which SHOCKED me the first time I read it) (It also goes the most in depth into Ja'Marr's aghast reaction at Les Miles saying he should be a DB and why Ja'Marr didn't want to commit to LSU at first)
But that March, Jimmy Chase says, their family began suffering from flu-like symptoms, and older son Jimmy Jr. and Toleah would be hospitalized with what they later learned was covid-19. “I was like: Shake it off, man,” Jimmy Chase Sr. says. “I can’t die now.” During a most unpredictable spring, when the coronavirus pandemic paused sports and shut down the world, the Chase family survived but eventually learned about “long covid” and the heart and respiratory problems some patients reported. Jimmy Chase says his son’s heart problem has healed, but it remained a frightening preexisting condition and again placed the father and son on opposite sides of a tense debate.
~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~ ·
Last thing, if you were wondering about the team meeting in the first article, here's what information i found. Again, I don't know how reliable The Advocate actually is and unlike the article above, this is literally the only source I found that mentions this. I don't recall Ja'Marr or any other LSU players saying anything remotely negative about Orgeron - most of them say he was a great coach!
(At the same time, an old white guy giving ... maybe not racist, but tone-deaf advice to a bunch of college-aged black men, in the height of Black Lives Matter -it's not out of the question.)
Multiple sources told The Advocate that team morale turned south before the season even began, when a large group of players felt Orgeron mishandled a team meeting regarding the team's player-led march in August amid national protests against police brutality. The players skipped practice that day, met outside Tiger Stadium and marched to the university president's office without Orgeron, who later told reporters he didn't know about the protest before it happened. Orgeron met up with the players at the president's office and took part in a meeting that lasted about an hour. He later told reporters he and the players talked "about the things they're going through and how we can be a part of the solution." Privately, the meeting did not come off as productive as described. Orgeron and some players were upset during the meeting, multiple sources said, and while some players said the situation could've been handled better by all sides, other players left feeling Orgeron wasn't supportive. Three days after the meeting, star wide receiver Ja'Marr Chase announced he was opting out of the season, joining starting nickel safety Kary Vincent in preparing for the NFL draft. By the end of the week, starting nose tackle Tyler Shelvin opted out as well.
#let me know if one of the links don't work or if you have any questions#i think the third and fourth article aren't paywalled but whatever i included the quotes anyways#ja'marr chase#i probably included more sources than needed. whatever ig.#i do love research <3#covid-era ja'marr really gives me all the feels tho#🥺 all alone and forced to just WATCH lsu AND joe suffer (to a lesser extent justin)...#my personal headcanon regarding dallas (not backed by any articles btw): ceedee got drafted to the cowboys in 2020#so ja'marr heard about the training camp from ceedee (who's also from louisiana and was also probably feeling a little alone in the nfl)#(ceedee played against lsu in the 2019 peach bowl (semifinal) so that's how ja'marr knew ceedee)#sorry for taking a while btw!#i hope i answered your question!#covid era ja'marr#anyone: feel free to use any info provided and ask if you have questions about the sources#articles#lsu era ja'marr#information#my asks
22 notes
·
View notes
Text
the 2010s sure were a time in my life
#there's just....... there's just something about that time#it might have something to do with 2011 being the year i started high school and 2019 being the year i finished my BA#and also the last year before the pandemic#I DON'T KNOW I JUST. THINKING BACK ON IT THERE IS THIS MYSTIQUE TO THAT TIME. THIS STRANGE EXCITEMENT#which is most likely a result of me finally beginning to feel like i can shape my own life and who i am and daydreaming abt a better future#and like exploring myself. in 2010 i turned 14 and fully realised i'm bi and throughout the decade#i experimented with a variety of different like...... identifications and imaginations of who i am#some of those were quite consumer identities (e.g. i strove to be and was a very hipster teen) but nevertheless#i don't know dudes like. the pandemic took a lot from me in terms of ability to be excited about what's to come i think#even though my life is pretty good i'd say#but also maybe that's just what it's like to grow into adulthood and get a job etc. SIGH why am i writing an entire fucking essay#abt my 2010s teenagehood nostalgia#like majority of those years also SUCKED because i had zero real irl friends and was really lonely lmfao#it felt like life didn't really start for me yet#and i was constantly waiting to burst into it. maybe that's the mystique. constantly hoping i am on the precipice of smth extraordinary#is nostalgia for one's teenage yrs inevitable? even if you feel like you missed out on most experiences considered quintessentially teenage?#i only started having Teenage Experiences™ when i went to uni lmfao (i.e. early 20s)#but idk it's such a loaded period psychologically and it's horrible and frustrating when you're living it but then you think back on it#and you're like man..... sure was a time huh. wow#but idk my experience could also be influenced by so many other variables#e.g. smartphones and social networks becoming widespread and common#that was also a pretty significant thing that happened#anyway i think i'm abt to run out of tags so. that's it#sry this shoulda gone into my diary probably but i inflicted it on you instead#neptalks
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
one of my best friends is about to have a baby today........... so weird to be on the periphery of something so life changing. I want to go "life is going to change forever" as if it hasn't already
#I was thinking last night about how different we both are from the versions of us that were being young and active and busy and fit in pgh#before the pandemic and before her very targeted focused dating efforts yielded her the result she wanted (her now-husband)#[also I don't say that cattily lol she had the most coolheaded and down-to-business approach to dating bc she knew what she wanted.#and it worked!]#anyways I think back on that halcyon year of 2019 when we went to spin classes and spent every weekend doing something#or hanging out in her tiny mt. washington studio where we could watch downtown buzz at night#truly it was such a short period of time in retrospect. she convinced me to move here + then a year and a half later the whole world changed#and so too did we#I miss the her of those years (and I miss the me) but I'm making peace with not getting her back. it's cool to see her on this new journey#which she has worked so very hard for. like I cannot overstate the methodical and intentional way in which she has shaped her life to be#what she wants out of it. accounting for many bumps along the way that she's weathered admirably.#anyways within the next 48 hours she should be a mom. that's crazy#I feel weird when everyone around me is making lifechanging moves while I'm ''ho hum where should I go on vacation in the next 2 years'' lol#ay yai yai. strange to not want things other people want and being fine with that until you start losing touchpoints with your peers#then you're like. hang on now. what am I supposed to be doing right now
15 notes
·
View notes
Text
did she specifically make 34 versions of TTPD because shes 34 years old
#barry.txt#taylor swift#also to make money and keep her char position long term obviously but she can never just make money it has to be some numerology bullshit#what a swiftian concept#her relationship to capital and product as an aspect to her art is endlessly interesting to me#also how she sells every album like its gonna be the last one before everyone gets sick of her and her career ends forever#she sells like its the end of the world. mulling. whatever#if she drops another fucking varant then this post means nothing#this is maybe the most interesting headspace that taylor has ever been in during an album cycle and i hope it gets less interesting soon bc#honestly i am a little worried for her#and also a little sick of her shit. She needs to get out of the eras tour/career second wind bubble that shes been in for like 3 years now#im glad that leaving bmr means shes not trapped in the strict 2 year album to tour cycle that she was in technically until rep#but actually until the pandemic forced her to stop bc rep was 2017 tour was 2018 and lover was 2019 w loverfest being 2020#but i hope she knows that that doesnt just mean dropping multiple projects a year but also...not dropping anything for a bit#chilling...taking a breath...mb honing her directing skills on other artists MVs or short films before diving into a full feature projects#working on stuff and not releasing it. writing for other people. Enjoying a beautiful sunset etc#i just want her to enjoy life when she isnt charting#i always make a very simple post and then go crazy in the tags like this could just also be a post. alas
7 notes
·
View notes
Text
going insane (again) i have an exam in three days and i wanted to start studying and i went through everything we need to know in an hour. AN HOUR. pathetic excuse of a class holy shit
#how do i 'study and dont go on tumblr' in these conditions#also (complaints incoming lmao sorry) this is for the statistics stuff again and they dont give us any extra exercises than the ones we had#to do for the graded tasks so like. cool. ive got 7 exercises i can use to practice and ive already done all of them and after ive done-#them again i will know all the answers so i cant redo them. great! this is how you teach a practical class yes thanks professor :))))#i can go on about this shit show of a class forever im sorry we didnt even have classes where they explained stuff we had to watch-#videos from the pandemic! which would be fine if the software we have to use wouldnt have had seven updates in the last years! we got-#feedback moments every other week *after* we had to turn in the assignment that *might* be graded for a bonus point (which i did get!-#take that!!) but like. oh you didnt understand the complicated stuff we never really explained? you can ask after youve been graded on the-#stuff you turned in - which is NOTHING because you didnt understand the first question because it was bullshit!#my friend was very funny i gotta admit because she very sweetly called the professor over and went im sorry sir :( but i couldnt turn it in#this time :( i really didnt understand the questions and the videos we got werent enough and the handbook didnt explain it any further-#either and i wanted to practice a bit before doing the POSSIBLY GRADED assignment but it seems there are no other exercises we could use-#will there be some in the coming weeks? because i just dont understand it with the very limited amount offered :((#and my professor got VERY awkward lmao because it turned out that this assignment was the one he graded because it was the hardest :) and-#many people didnt understand it so only 34 people out of the 170 taking the class got their bonus point :)) this is fine :)))))#snail speaks
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
i love things that happen because of a specific thing
#like ok thats everything winter i hear you say#yeah but i love to think about it#especially when the thing that happened is objectively bad but the thing that youre ledt with you cant imagine your life without (pos)#like without 9/11 we dont have mcr#like the pandemic happening -> breaking my foot from going on too many walks -> ascending to true emo form#like ok yeah me being insane about some bands is Not worth all the lives lost#but like. i dont know if it would be the same otherwise?#also with listening to podcasts#which led to meeting my roommate from last year (who i hopefully will become better friends with this year GOD pls shes so cool)#but then like also. if we hadnt moved right before kindergarten i would very likely be fluent in spanish#so theres things like that too ig#the world is crazy and wild and i love it#like so often i think about my life if we hadnt moved where/when we did#bc ok so for my whole preschool life i lived in arizona#which. fun fact is not super great for trans ppl or latinos#we lived in a town that was… more or less liberal? i think. i dont really remember#but like would i be as trans now if i had grown up fully there?#i mean probably i had a stint as a toddler where i was a boy for like two months#so its always been there#anyway. crazy things#rambles#winter stfu
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
It's been so long since I've had to exist within a group of people consistently over many days and damn, I nearly forgot I was autistic. I found out yesterday that though I get along with almost everyone at work, most of my coworkers thought I was a huge bitch who hated everyone for a little bit (and one still does, which is how this whole thing came up at all). I was bewildered like. No I'm very often dizzy or in a bit of pain and I'm very focused on taking care of the dogs but I'm not - I don't dislike any of you? I've never been mad at you, you guys thought I was mad?? Just an alarming disconnect between the way I see myself and the way I come off to others. I have never once gotten the hang of behaving like a regular person, but it appears that time has taken me from "generally silly person with an offbeat sense of humor who doesn't take things seriously" to "stoic hardass who doesn't like you and thinks you're stupid also." I did not authorize this change. It's throwing me for a loop. I feel like I'm 6 again being told to stop talking over people's heads because I just learned a new big word and I wanted to use and share it. I like assholes with a heart of gold in media. I don't want to be one??
#Like I've essentially been locked alone in a room for three years almost four due to the pandemic#And before that my big job was working in a warehouse where we mostly worked separately#But I remember the times we did socialize I fit in#But I also remember my coworkers were all nerds and that helped#Like idk I feel like I've been sleeping for years and woke up to being a different person#I know it's been hard for me to manage migraines and such (though it's getting easier or I'm just in a good proud period)#But damn#Everyone I've talked to at work figured out pretty quickly that I really can be fun to talk to#But this one girl is avoiding me and I think it's because I was stressed on Thanksgiving day#And probably went from an unknown to a definite asshole in her mind#So I need to talk to her but having it explained to me last night like#'I told her it's not anything personal and you're just kind of like that with everyone' and I was like#Fuck! Am I awful to interact with initially?? Or worse - always until you adapt?
13 notes
·
View notes
Text
one day later and now i wonder if i even like him That much or if it only hurt me bc he's the only safe choice i can ever have and if i can never have him i can never have the life i want
#i don't think i know anyone else who is the perfect mix of church boy on the outside probably ok to come out to on the inside... chinoy...my#age...acceptable to parents and relatives bc of said church boyness...my good friend... genuinely lovely to spend time with... can talk to#for hours on end. He knows almost all of my personal shit and i dont know if i will ever know someone else who also fits all the above crit#ria who i can bare myself to like this again. how does anyone else even compete with 12 years of knowing#that 1 year in grade 9 where we were the closest of friends before abruptly stopping because of the pandemic and bc of my now exfriend#and that last year i had with him and the wildest most head over heels friendship ive ever fallen into#ive told him things i was afraid to even admit to myselt#he's the only person other than myself to have seen my admissions essay (deeply personal 1.4k about adhd suspicions)#i want love even if it has to be the kind my parents and the community around me approves of#a lot of times it really feels like he's the only chance I'll ever get to have it#so if i never get him then I'll never get that then I'll die alone and never get to experience marriage ever ever in my life#crushposting#Whatever
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
i don't know what it is about october that consistently makes it the busiest month of my year 🥴
#looking at my calendar and just realized i'm only spending one weekend at home this whole month#which also happened last year AND the year before#and probably would have happened in 2020 but pandemic so i spent all my free time that october doing election stuff#it's october 2 and i'm already exhausted :| NOT promising
9 notes
·
View notes
Text
welp, i tested positive for covid this morning, lmao. i had to cancel class tomorrow.
hopefully i can gather the energy to record a little lecture or something so that students get some of the background they're hoping for (basically this week was the "how to read middle english" primer/refresher course). overall it's fairly mild, so as long as i don't have a fever on friday, i'm going to go to class (masked, of course) and we can talk about the poems i'm having them read. i'm gonna struggle to be heard through the mask, but alas. we'll have to make do.
other than that, i have two students from my summer course who didn't submit their work by the extended deadline (last friday), which was the very last day i'm technically allowed to accept late work. one of them might?? maybe???? be submitting something by tonight?? she emailed at like 3 in the morning on saturday asking for a couple of extra days. i answered yesterday telling her that if she got something to me by 10pm tonight, then i would make it work (grades are due tomorrow lol), but if not, then she would have to file a petition for a term work extension with the registrar. the other one is... i think?? in the process of submitting such a petition.
i'm just here sitting on my couch surrounded by tissues and trying to get some of my shit together, lol.
#read more post#personal#pedagogy#whine whine complain complain#i was really hoping this was just a cold but nope#although it pretty much feels like a mild cold#or at least what i remember colds feeling like?#idk i'm never sick#last time i was sick was the other time i got covid in june 2022#before that it had been years (i'm talking years before the pandemic even)#anyway i'm gonna take another dose of benylin and maybe put on a silly show and do some crochet#actually before that i'm going to wipe down the bathroom sink & vanity#then i'll crochet in front of the tv#oh damn i should also fold the laundry 😔#i still can't believe i have to cancel the THIRD CLASS#we're off to a banner start
12 notes
·
View notes
Text
went to my first con in 4 years on Friday to meet Kaiji Tang and got a Dazai autograph + video recording of him reading to me. He was the sweetest person (as I knew he would be) and interacting with him was lovely, but also at the same time oh boy it sure was an extremely stressful, ugly wake-up call of what it feels like to live in a world now where everyone around you has blissfully moved on from covid and can enjoy things normally and happily, while you'll forever be trapped in a hellscape of perpetual fear 🫠🫠🫠
#like. to be clear this was the first time i've been literally anywhere but doctor's appointments in 4 years#not just because of the pandemic but because of mental and physical exhaustion#so it was a Big Mistake to go from 0 to 100 and not ease myself into it at all#but at the same time........ it was a fucking hellscape of people. i don't think any kind of buildup could have prepared me for it at all.#it was so much less crowded in 2020 (ironically the very last place i ever went; literally on the BRINK of covid)#and now idk what it's become. a monster con. it was unbelievable.#but i was only there for less than an hour but i was so so so terrified that i very nearly left before even seeing him#i couldn't even fully enjoy meeting him as kind as he was because i was so anxious and distracted#and when i got back to the car i just fucking cried.........#the last five days i've just been sitting in fear waiting to feel Any sort of symptoms#i wore two masks and again was barely there for long but Still#and everyone around me was so chill as if everything was normal and No One was wearing a mask :))))) it's not fucking fair man :)))))#insert the 'they don't know' meme; they don't know how much covid can destroy your body even if you get a 'mild' case#i would never want to be that ignorant even if i wasn't disabled and didn't have reason to worry (but everyone has reason to worry!!!)#but also. ignorance is bliss and it just really fucking sucks man.#it really fucking sucks. why do they get to be happy and enjoying life and not /me?/#why can't i do just ONE thing for myself without having it tainted by anxiety and fear that i'm going to die horribly???#while they get to do fucking EVERYTHING???#if they all just wore masks we could all enjoy ourselves much more comfortably than some of us are now#but no that's too much to ask from people 🙃🙃🙃#shit sucks man. the world sucks. something that should be a happy memory for me was simultaneously the most awful experience#and i don't know how to feel about it now that it's over#he knew that i was afraid and at the end he told me that he hoped to see me again at another event someday#and that made me cry because it felt like dazai telling me to live. and i want to. but i don't know how to when the world is like this now.#i desperately want to be able to see him again someday but right now after how terrifying that was i never want to go to a con ever again..#i wanted to ask him things about the manga and about dazai but i was being rushed and stressed so i couldn't ugh#(and doing that is hard enough anyway cause disability and i have to talk with my phone bahhhh)#at least i was able to give him my note *sigh*
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
okay I LIED (sorta)
#just got out of there#over 1 hour lol#while i was going to the interview i was thinking what lie i was gonna say#it was to be a teacher in an english academy#so i crafted this lie that i had given sporadic english classes to kids a few years ago before the pandemic#i even practiced my english cause i thought at least part of the interview was gonna be in english (that didn't happen)#but when i got there the interviewer was 'so... you don't have any experience'#and i chickened out and said i helped my sister and cousin with some extra english classes in the past (i did not)#BUT then she started asking me these questions and situations and i panicked so much#and when she asked 'what was the last time you put on a costume?' i said i dressed up as mexican with my family for carnival???#cause sure let's be culturally insensitive while we're at it#i did dress up as a mexican with my family once in a summer carnival but it was with like. ponchos and hats my mexican family had sent us#and like 6-7 years ago#not last year#again no idea why i thought of them#i also said i did theatre in school (i did not)#she then gave me a writing assignment???? i had to write a 250 word essay about computers#so yeah. it was definitely something
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
Re: the being immunocompromised and nearly dying of agony from shingles all over me at sixteen thing. I used to say that was the worst pain I've ever felt in my chronically ill life, worsened by the fact that weenie me refused morphine because I was fully indoctrinated by D.A.R.E. and terrified that I would become an addict as I lay in the hospital bed writhing in agony as I was damn-near actively dying. Even breaking my toes a few years later just warranted a mild "Fuck." in comparison.
Anyway I recently experienced three infected teeth (two wisdoms that apparently just grew in already rotted? and one cavity that got out of hand because I kept forgetting to call my dentist and couldn't afford it anyway) within a two year span and let me say that that knocked the nearly dying in agony thing right out of the park
#it had literally been a decade by that point since I ever cried in pain#the last time before that being when I had my first bowel obstruction that coincided with a migraine#I miss my tooth#not the wisdoms to hell with them. but I couldn't afford a root canal for the third tooth so it had to come out#the kicker is that as of a month ago Maryland Medicaid covers dental. again.#it used to cover dental even before that but they cancelled the coverage the year I moved to Maryland#I'm glad they are covering dental again and I have an appointment in May but I wish it had come a year earlier#because my options were between a two hundred dollar extraction or a thousand dollar root canal#teeth are a luxury in the U.S.#also when I had my wisdoms removed I went to a dental surgeon and had laughing gas#but when I had the third tooth removed I couldn't afford that again and went to my regular dentist and didn't even have valium for it#I was SHAKING in the chair trying not to freak out or faint#it was longer than it should have been too because the tooth shattered in the process and he had to dig out the roots and let me tell you#not. fun.#at least for two hundred dollars I got novocaine. If I had gone to the dental school for free they wouldn't have even given me that#cannot don't want to imagine that pain#I wish I could have kept my wisdom teeth like my roommate did when he had one years before#but the dental surgeon refused to give them to me because of pandemic protocols. I never even got to look at them#laughing gas is better than valium I think. both are great tho#I wasn't out of control loopy on laughing gas but when they were stitching up my gums I thought 'huh. hell of a time to floss my teeth'#teeth#toothache#Thou hell o' a' diseases
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
💭
#this girl I was close friends/roommates with during my last year of college just got engaged with her bf of 8 years#while I am happy for both of them… idk I have difficult feelings about her now and don’t see her as a friend anymore#she used to live in the same city as me during the first like year and a half or so of the pandemic#and in that time we got to see/hang out with each other twice#first time we got to catch up for a few hours and we had a good time but it was kinda bittersweet… idk how to describe it#the second time she asked me last minute to accompany her to pick up stuff she got through Facebook marketplace#during one of those two times we hung out/she basically told me to my face that it would be the last time I’d see her#i understood initially cuz she was about to start teaching and she wanted to focus on her relationships with her bf and her family#but not long after she started teaching/she quickly started going out a lot and making new friends#then she moved to another town like 30 ish minutes away cuz her aunt kicked her out in the middle of her first year of teaching#idk I never had a good feeling about things cuz of all of that stuff I stated above#but also since she’s been trying on working to improve her relationship with her mom after everything she’s done to her#cuz we both have shitty moms who’ve said and done shitty things to us and our families#i know it probably won’t happen or won’t happen for like a few years#but in the event she invites me to her wedding/ I’m gonna be deadass with her about how I’ve felt about her#and see if she’s willing to work on improving our friendship before I decide to attend (if she does invite me cuz idk)#oh I also forgot how after she moved after her aunt kicked her out#she had the nerve to randomly ask if I could watch her aunt’s dogs during the week I was starting 3 online summer classes#she didn’t even like say hi/make small talk or ask nicely either#she just straight up was like ‘hey can you watch my aunt’s dogs during (x) week?’#she recently congratulated me when I posted on my Instagram story that I passed my driving text and got me license but I didn’t respond#I just have a lot of difficult feelings about her now/wish I could unfollow her but I don’t wanna start shit & her be all in my face & shit#jazz uses curse! 💜
1 note
·
View note
Text
got another person into granblue fantasy, an old friend B)
#⋯ ꒰ა starry thoughts ໒꒱ *·˚#from SCHOOL !! we were just acquaintances before the pandemic but then uhmm#like last year...? suddenly started dming. fun! anyways super nice#oh i realize they are gay and trans too (as umbrella terms) im not as alone as i thought i was irl. nice <3#yeah ... silly we haven't interacted irl yet we forgor how each other looks but also i found out today my friend in class from last year#remembers me as a friend and all uhm bcs my friend and her were talking about final fantasy... sniffs..... people remember me. wow#so yeah. and then uhm. yeah#THEY DID get into it sometime back but only now super properly i think... i won't be surprised if they don't get too into it though bcs time#and all lol! anyway right my dad uhhh..... oops.......... i forgor me and lune often have speeches relating to the lgbtq community#like the sogie bill should be passed or lgbtq struggles or stuff like that. same-sex marriage?#and they hear us very clearly. the walls are not very soundproof aha and once they were right inside. how fun#YEAH anyway my dad is hinting i think he'll support me and lune no matter what since we are family and idk he's cool i think#mom i'm worried about still but. yeah. i think i'll try to find the chance to come out to my aunt and maybe to her gay friend as well
3 notes
·
View notes