#and then we can both learn something new!

[sleepycelestialprincess]

I'm a 36 year old woman, my wife is 33. I like my current field / job. I'm a picture framer. I design frames for art that people bring in, keeping in mind archival best practices, color, and design. I work with customers and do all aspects of production (except at my current shop I'm only a designer). Working as a framer works well with my background skills and my adhd as it has a lot of variety and requires problem solving, creativity, and attention to detail.

At two shops I worked at, we were almost doing ok as for income. 50% of our income went to rent. The one was in a different state but we had to leave for family reasons, and the other shop closed. The shop I'm at now pays less than my rent per month. Our current combined income puts our rent at 70% of our income. So I'm very thankful I'm privileged enough to have parents who can help. I just don't know where to go from here to make our situation better. I'd continue with framing if it paid the bills.

We have a small kid so one of us needs to be home with them. A baby sitter / daycare is the same cost as what we aren't making by both working full time. As it comes out equal, we'd rather be with our kid. Combined we work 5 days a week.

So on one income, we can't do it. If our income doubled, we'd actually be doing ok. as it would put our rent at 35% of our income.

We live in a mid sized city, that's big enough to be fairly progressive. This is very important to us as lesbian couple with myself being trans, to go out feeling safe. Our rent here is on the low end of whats available in the area.

Something has got to change! Rent control and wage increases are a must. I'm up for learning something new, if it will pay, if its semi-enjoyable, and compatible with my adhd. But I have no idea what that might be. I have plenty of other skills I'd be willing to put to use if I can make ends meet and its not making me miserable.

[the-flying-robins]

While thinking about the times we see Dick and Bruce physically fight I started thinking about Dick's motivations in those fights. When does Dick fight back, and when does Dick just take the licks?

I noticed a trend.

Fighting Bruce For Others

Two of the more infamous comics involving physical altercations between Dick and Bruce fall into this category.

Dick's motivations for fighting Bruce in both Nightwing vol. 3 #30 & Batman vol. 3 #138 are based around other people. In Batman Dick confronts Bruce over what he has done to Jason. In Nightwing once he understands what Bruce is asking of him Dick begins to fight back, citing their family and the recent loss of Damian as reasons why he can't.

In both of these Dick is fighting Bruce in defense of someone else.

(Left: Batman vol. 3 #138 / Middle & Right: Nightwing vol. 3 #30)

Fighting Bruce for Bruce

There are three "fights" that fit this metric.

A much more minor altercation occurs in Officer Down. Dick stops Bruce from going too far against a goon by getting an arm around his neck, Bruce quickly throws him off and leaves.

In Bruce Wayne: Fugitive? Dick (along with Tim, Cass, and Babs) confronts Bruce over his recent escape from police custody, after explaining that there will no longer be a "Bruce Wayne" Dick attempts to fight him. Batman mostly evades Dick in this confrontation. Dick is again trying to appeal to Bruce, trying to get him to rethink a decision that is going to hurt himself. Later Bruce apologizes to Dick saying "… I deserved it."

(Left: Robin vol. 1 #86 / Middle & Right: Batman vol. 1 #600)

The final fight in this section is a fight between a Bruce who has recently come into Superman's powers. Bruce has gone power hungry and violently attacks Selina. Dick attempts to fight Bruce, he doesn't believe he can win, but hopes instead that he can get through to Bruce, make him see that what he's doing is wrong. This fight leaves Dick seriously injured.

(Superman/Batman #55)

Taking the Hits

This final category is for instances where Dick does not fight back.

Dick goes to visit Bruce when he learns of Jason's death. Bruce turns the discussion confrontational quickly, putting blame on Dick for making him believe he could work with a partner. The encounter ending when Bruce punches Dick and yells at him before leaving. Dick doesn't attempt to fight back and accepts Bruce's accusations.

During the Court of Owls storyline it is revealed that Dick comes from a line of Talons and Bruce backhands Dick to knock a tooth out of Dick's mouth. Dick expresses no surprise by this, again just accepting it.

(Left & Middle: The New Titans #55 / Right: Nightwing vol. 3 #7)

In the first 2 sections Dick's main motivations for fighting Bruce are for someone other than himself, either his family or Bruce himself. His own feelings on the matter are secondary (Nightwing 30 & Bruce Wayne: Fugitive) if given a thought at all. In comparison when Bruce is only targeting Dick, Dick takes the hit and doesn't advocate for himself at all.

In Dick's eyes if Bruce finds him guilty then he must be guilty of something and he deserves the punishment.

[antivanwine14]

I see the posts asking what Rook brings to the squad. What is Rook good at when the rest of the Squad are experts in their fields? Rook isn't necessary to the rest. This isn't true.

A) Rook is probably the most skilled out of all the protagonists we've had. You can head canon things, but the truth is the HOF and Inquisitor were not masters in their fields before they got supremely unlucky and landed with a skill they didn't really want. Hawke really was just a person who developed over time. Rook starts as a hero who is very skilled in their craft. I'm going to speak on this from Crow Rook POV because that is who I know best, but this does apply to the others as well. Crow Rook took down 20 Antaam alone. That is not something the average Crow can do. That is skilled enough to impress Varric and get the role to work with him.

B) Rook knows how to get themselves into and out of trouble. Yes, Rook does know how to get into trouble, but Rook also sees opportunities others miss. In the opening, Harding's plan is to fire on Solas. She doesn't consider other options beside the one she is most comfortable with. Neve tells Harding no, but she also doesn't give a better solution either. Rook is the one who looks around to find other solutions.

Additionally, I wish this was commented on more but other characters acknowledge this skill of finding opportunities. Varric says to an unromanced Inquisitor that Rook is very good at Wicked Grace, a game all about cheating and opportunities. If Rook de Riva abandons Treviso, Viago also comments on this skill, that Rook would have found a way to help their city. Rook sees opportunities others miss. This is a very important skill that the other companions don't really have. There is a phrase, to a hammer, everything looks like a nail and our companions do that. Our companions are very skilled at what they do, but that means they don't usually look outside of the solution that fits their skills best, ie: Harding is always looking for the shot, Lucanis's solutions usually involve daggers, etc.

C) Rook has the soft skills to lead. Soft skills are completely underrated in life. Some people just assume that the person with the best skills at something should be the leader. This is how we get really awful leaders who have no people skills and treat their teams like crap. Leadership takes skills and none of the companions have those skills at the start. Davrin and Neve end the game as leaders, but both start having the same issue of being lone wolves who struggle to trust others. They need to learn how to trust others. Harding would probably be the best of the rest, but she is dealing with her own internal struggles with her new stone powers and the anger the titans are feeling. Rook might have some issues with confidence as being a leader, but Rook has great soft skills that allow the team to open up to them and trust them with the team's issues. Rook's confidence issues goes away with time as they get used to the role and it is the soft skills that make Rook so valuable.

Rook built the team. Remove Rook and the team would never have functioned as well as they did because of the work Rook did. Yes, they were able to accomplish a lot while Rook was in the Fade Prison, but that was because Rook had done their job. Rook had built a great team that knew what they had to do, were able to work together, and were able to do it until they could get Rook back. They trusted what Rook had done because they trusted Rook. I don't see them getting nearly as far without Rook and so Rook is absolutely essential for the squad.

[cece693]

A Bright Place in the Dark

pairing: spencer reid x gender neutral reader tags: first impressions, reader sees Spencer as innocent and too good to be true, pre-relationship, all knowledge of this fandom comes from Tumblr fics and personal opinion, not fact checked

By the time you arrived at the Behavioral Analysis Unit, you were practically reciting facts about Dr. Spencer Reid in your head:

Over 187 IQ

An eidetic memory

A heart too big for a world as harsh as this

Those whispers, however, never prepared you for how human he would be. No legend of brilliance or office gossip about his quirks ever quite captured the softness in his eyes, or the halting way he spoke when he was nervous.

Your first day at the BAU felt like entering another planet. The bullpen buzzed with conversations about suspects, horrifying details of cases, and the flickering overhead lights seemed to spotlight every anxious beat of your heart. And then you saw him—a lanky figure hunched over a precarious tower of files, as though he didn’t know quite how to balance them against his chest.

You caught him looking around, scanning for an empty spot to set the documents down. Except he chose the worst possible moment to shift his weight; the top of the stack slid, pages scattered in every direction.

Dr. Spencer Reid froze, a rush of panicked words tumbling out of his mouth. “Oh no—sorry, sorry. I’m usually not this clumsy. Statistically, people trip at least—”

You bent down to help, offering a friendly grin. “Hey, it’s okay. It happens.”

He paused, as though your small kindness were a revelation. Slowly, he lifted his gaze, and for a split second, you glimpsed the vulnerability behind those gentle hazel eyes. When you straightened up with an armful of papers, you noticed the shy half-smile tugging at Spencer’s mouth. His cheeks had gone just a little pink, and he quickly busied himself by reorganizing the files.

“Thanks,” he mumbled, more subdued than before. “I’m Spencer Reid, by the way…Dr. Spencer Reid. You must be the new profiler—”

“That’s me,” you replied, introducing yourself. “It’s my first day, so I guess we can both say it’s a learning curve.”

He nodded, an anxious laugh slipping out. Then, as if remembering his role, he cleared his throat and motioned to the files. “These are some old case studies. We…we keep them around for reference, though I try to digitize them in my spare time.”

“Sounds fascinating,” you said. And you meant it, curiosity tugging at you like an impatient child. “I’d love to take a look sometime.”

His eyes flicked from the pages to you, wide and a little uncertain. Then, almost imperceptibly, relief smoothed the lines of tension on his forehead. “Sure. That’d be…good. Really good.”

In the following days, you quickly learned that your new job was every bit as tough as everyone warned. Each morning, the team assembled to face tragedies as mind-boggling as they were gruesome. Photos, crime scene details, and psychological autopsies filled your laptop.

Amid all the darkness, there was always him, moving through the chaos with a gentle sort of efficiency. Spencer held a wealth of knowledge in that brilliant mind, quoting statistics, classical literature, and obscure references effortlessly. Yet, you noticed how he spoke as though he feared his own intellect would push people away.

You tried to reach out, offering a smile or a small joke whenever he started rattling off something about “differential equations” or “geospatial profiling.” Each time, his shoulders would relax a fraction, as if he was grateful someone was listening rather than judging.

It wasn’t long before you started working late alongside him. You’d catch Spencer hunched over his desk, stacks of books and case reports spread in front of him, a half-full mug of coffee growing cold.

“Hey,” you said one evening, easing into the adjacent chair. “Mind if I sit?”

He lifted his gaze, blinking as if coming up for air. “Oh, of course, sure.”

Silence settled, filled by the low hum of the overhead lights and the distant clatter of a cleaning cart in the hallway.

“How do you handle it?” you asked, your voice quiet. “All the darkness?”

Spencer leaned back, momentarily lost in thought. “I—well, I guess I try to understand it. If I can figure out why someone does something terrible, maybe it’ll help prevent the next tragedy. At least that’s what I tell myself.” He gave a self-conscious shrug, eyes darting away. “I’m not sure if that’s the best answer.”

You offered a gentle smile. “It’s an honest one. And I think that’s what matters.”

As weeks turned into months, you and Spencer found yourselves gravitating toward each other. Lunchtime in the break room became a quiet sanctuary, where his commentary on quantum theory or historical murder cases was punctuated by the sandwich you’d share half with him because he often forgot to pack lunch.

He’d fret, insisting you didn’t need to share, but you found a simple joy in seeing his face relax when he finally took a break. Sometimes, a ghost of a smile would linger at the corners of his lips afterward, as if he was unused to anyone caring enough to notice his hunger.

You don't know exactly when your interest in the doctor turned into adoration, but perhaps it could be pointed back to when the team was out on a case and you were stuck trying to piece together a spree killer’s timeline. You hit a wall and decided to take a short break—heading to the building’s small courtyard.

Outside, you found Spencer leaning against a concrete pillar, lost in his own world. The afternoon sun gleamed off his hair, painting him in soft yellows and gold. For a moment, you hesitated. He looks so peaceful. But then he glanced up, and the sun highlighted the hope in his eyes. He waved you over.

“Hey,” you said quietly, sidling up next to him.

“Hey,” Spencer replied, his voice warm.

You stood together, the hush of traffic and a distant bird cawing filling the space between you.

“I was thinking about that timeline you mentioned,” he began without prompting. “If the unsub is traveling by bus, then the times might not match traditional driving estimates, and—” He stopped himself, a self-conscious smile forming. “Sorry. Work brain doesn’t really shut off.”

You laughed softly. “Don’t apologize. It’s actually pretty helpful. I think I’ll re-examine the public transit schedules as soon as we go back inside.”

His gaze lingered on you for a long moment. Then, so softly you nearly didn’t hear, he said, “I’m glad you’re here, you know…with the team. With me.”

Warmth flooded your cheeks, and you hoped he couldn’t see it in the bright afternoon light. “I’m glad, too.” Silence settled, but it wasn't uncomfortable. Sometimes no words are needed to enjoy someone's company—so, as you stared at nothing in particular, you developed the courage to ask Spencer out.

“I, uh, know it’s not exactly typical, but I was wondering if maybe you’d like to grab dinner sometime? Outside of the office, I mean.”

The request hung in the air. Spencer blinked, seeming to mentally catalog the entire situation. You could almost see the wheels turning behind his eyes.

“I-I’d like that,” he finally answered, voice a little too fast. A delicate pink brushed across his cheeks.

You had heard the rumors. You’d been told about his genius and his gentle heart—how he deserved the world, though the world often failed to deserve him in return. Watching him now, shoulders slightly hunched as he mentally rehearsed how to do something as simple as dinner, you couldn’t help but think:

If the world won’t cherish him…maybe I will.

He deserved that much, at least. And from the way Spencer offered you a shy smile—a small piece of his guarded heart—you knew he was willing to let you try.

[satin-velvet]

‧₊˚ 𝒯𝒽𝑒 𝒲𝒾𝓏𝒶𝓇𝒹 𝒮𝐹𝒲 𝒜𝓁𝓅𝒽𝒶𝒷𝑒𝓉 *ੈ✩‧₊˚

note: gosh.. my writing motivation has been up and down and on the wall and floor.. well, it’s been just about everywhere but in my head. i hope this is a good peace offering and holdover until i post new chapters for my series and finish some requests i’ve been working on. i love you all and i appreciate the patience. <33

**ੈ✩ ‧₊˚ . *

A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)

Quite affectionate. Hand holding, small kisses, cuddling at night.. he’d try to match what you like. If he was leading you somewhere, he’d hold your hand. If you visited him in his office, he’d kiss you, maybe say something about missing you. He really likes giving and receiving compliments or general praise. His affections do rely on how receptive you are to touch.

B = Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?)

Well, he’d most likely meet you through Madame Moribble. You might intimidate him at first, especially if you were actually magical, as he doesn’t want his wizard persona to be figured out. It would be smooth sailing from there; you’d come visit often and he’d spend alot of time showing you his Oz of Tomorrow and all the ideas he has for it. You’d even get your own little figurine to go the palace with him, so even your mini versions could be friends.

C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)

At night, he’d love just wrapping his arms around you and holding you against him. Cuddling would probably help him fall asleep, and stay close to you. If he’s working, you could sit on his lap. If you two are meandering around the palace, he would have his arm around you or hold your hand.

D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)

Of course he would with you. He’d still have his wizard duties on the side, but he would be mostly devoted to you. Especially after putting a ring on it.. the best, most beautiful emerald ring money could buy. Nothing would keep him from the best ring in all of Oz for you.

I think he’s a decent cook, he’s had the time to learn, so he could cook up most basic things and learn some recipes you like to keep you happy and relying. Cleaning he mostly delegates to the maids and cleaning staff; “The wizard mustn’t get his hands dirty,” he’d explain.

E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

Oh, well, he’d let you down gently. Drop some hints about seeing different people, you’ve grown apart, things aren’t the same.. whatever would sting the least. He probably have your stuff already packed for you, “to save you the hassle.” He’d explain. It would hurt him to do so, but he’d try to seem more indifferent so he didn’t get emotional.

F = Fiance(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)

We know he has no issue breaking up a happy home, but his commitment to you and your relationship would change the longer you’ve been together. After a while, he wouldn’t feel so lonely, and wouldn’t want to lose you. If he did propose, he’d make it a very big deal. Fireworks, celebrations.. the Emerald City would be buzzing with the good news.

G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

Physically, he’s very romantic and gentle. He’d touch you softly and never without your permission. I think he’s very emotionally fragile, and little things can make him insecure or uncomfortable. He wants to believe he’s powerful, and wants others to believe it too. If you seemed uninspired or bored it’d hurt his pride, but some reassurance would help lots.

H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)

He loves receiving or giving hugs, mostly because he is a physical person at heart. He’d pull you against his chest, and wait until you shifted to move away to let go. If you were in a rush or saying bye, the hugs would be a little quicker but no less loving.

I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?)

A little quickly, since your really all he’s got. With past flings, he might’ve thrown the words around a little carelessly, but he might wait to say it with you so it means more and you know it’s genuine. If you say it before him, he’d say it back without hesitation.

J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)

I don’t think he’d be jealous often, but he’s not immune to the feeling. If you’re having too much fun doing something without him, for example, he might feel a little left out and jealous. Behavior-wise, he would thrown in a sarcastic comment or two, get a little manipulative and confrontational (think him trying to convince Elphaba that the monkeys aren’t spies) until you reassure him and he calms down.

K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)

His kisses would be very.. passionate, of course, especially when you two are alone. Cupping your face, a hand on your waist or shoulder, anything that adds to the intimacy. He kisses you on the lips mostly, but sometimes a quick kiss on the cheek suffices. For more intimate moments, he might indulge himself with neck kisses. He likes hearing all the little sounds you make, especially if he gives you a hickey. Veering back into SFW territory, he likes kisses anywhere, really. A kiss is a kiss, whether it’s on his face, body, lower area..

L = Little ones (How are they around children?)

He’d be good around kids, being able to play and entertain them. He wants to be a father himself, so of course he’d project that fatherly love when around kids. If you two had your own someday, he would be incredibly doting. (see my father!wizard headcanons for more on this.)

M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)

I think he’s a heavy sleeper, and might not wake up until later in the day unless manually woken up. If you got up before him, he’d try to coax you back into bed. For cuddles, mostly, but because he isn’t much of a morning person and because hes worried you’ll go off and have too much fun without him while he’s asleep.

N = Night (How are nights spent with them?)

Peaceful for the most part, mostly quiet conversations before you two doze off. Bedtimes vary, mostly whenever you get sleepy so he can fall asleep with you. If it wasn’t to hot, he’d wrap his arms around you. However you like to cuddle is okay, and if you don’t like cuddling, he’ll settle for holding your hand.

O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)

He has many secrets and a very big ‘web of lies’. If he really felt safe with you, he might reveal more and more, like his hometown being Omaha, Nebraska, or his name being Oscar Diggs. Perhaps he’d tell you.. he’s not magical at all. That he just floated here on a hot-air balloon. But you’d have to promise him you wouldn’t tell anyone, that you wouldn’t think less of him. If you were hoping he’d grant your wishes and cast some spells, you might be disappointed.

P = Patience (How easily angered are they?)

He’s more actions > words. He might not verbally state he’s irritated but subtle shifts in his demeanor would give him away. When things don’t go his way, when he’s losing his ‘power’ in a conversation, situations where he feels bested. I don’t think he’s an angry person, maybe a bitter one, but alot of his anger stems from feelings of inferiority and being a ‘fraud’.

Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)

He’d remember things about you, even if you said them in passing. Your favorite colors, little details you like on your clothes or hair, the foods or like or don’t.. he doesn’t have much to do all by himself, so thinking about you passes the time.

R = Remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?)

Confessing to you, however he decides to go about it. Fireworks and flower bouquets, a lovely dinner, whatever he thinks, no, assumes you’ll love. Another close second would be all the times he got to show you around the palace and tour the rooms. Impressing you and getting all your praise and undivided attention really soothes him.

S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)

Moderately protective. He would be distraught if you got hurt at all, so he tries to keep you within the Emerald City. If he couldn’t be there himself, he’d have a guard or two in your area to ensure your safety. He doesn’t want you to think he needs protecting, but he’ll usually delegate that to his ever faithful guards.

T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

He’d go all out. He loves to impress, especially you. Large flower bouquets, late night dinners, surprise gifts, etc. All green, of course. Whatever you wanted, he’d try to provide. Anniversaries he’d easily remember, and would plan them days in advance.

U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)

Would have to be manipulation. It’s something he knows works, and can produce positive results. If you seem upset at him, he’ll try to calm you down, maybe flip the blame onto you or someone else. If it plain doesn’t work on you or you start resisting, he’d get a little panicked and learn how to actually comfort you and get what you need.

V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)

Very! He definitely likes self-care and looking pristine, as it comes with the title of Wizard. He could spend hours doing his hair, or perfecting his suit. I think a-lot of it is paranoia, that he might get found out if he doesn’t look perfectly fine all the time. He cares about his outfit being immaculate, his hair expertly coiffed. It adds into his morning routine, but he really doesn’t mind.

W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)

Very. He’s used to loneliness and only having yourself, and the seemingly endless rooms full of fun, whimsical things are a bit of a testament to his attempts at entertainment. If you left, the void of loneliness would come back, but just be deeper and more intense. He tries to convince himself he doesn’t need anyone else, but being without you would be really hard for him, especially if he shared alot of secrets with you.

X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.)

I think with some time and love you could really ‘fix’ him. Convince him to care about the animals, or any cause your passionate about. He really needs someone to be there for him; more than a ‘best friend’ like Moribble. He wouldn’t admit it, but he does crave affection and affirmation from someone he loves. He likes validation and the fame that comes from being the wizard of oz. It just feels better when the praise comes from someone who really knows him, like you, who loves him even with all of his flaws and lack of magic.

Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)

I think he wouldn’t like people who question things or authority too much, because then he’d have to admit he only has political/social power and not.. magical powers. You can be curious, sure, but not curious enough to make him feel inferior as the wizard. Admitting he can’t actually read the grimmerie, that he needs a magical person besides Morrible to rely on. If you really cared about the animals, he’d be more panicked, because what would he do if you broke up with him because of his blatant disregard for them? It stresses him out.

Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habits of theirs?)

Taking up a lot of the bed by just spreading out. I think he also moves around in his sleep, which does mess up the covers and send them all about the bed. His bed is pretty big, so this might not be an issue for you if you don’t take up much space when you sleep. But the moving might wake you if your the light sleeper.

*ੈ✩ ‧₊˚

[phoenotopia]

Introducing Star Iliad!

We’re happy to announce our next game, “Star Iliad”! Now in development.

Star Iliad is a retro-futuristically themed Metroidvania that takes place inside a giant star whale.

See the teaser trailer!

In the game, you’ll play as Blythe Braves, a Star Ranger who patrols a remote region of the interstellar frontier. Heeding a distress signal, she investigates to find a curious large rock formation in the shape of a whale. Shortly after landing and locating a couple of castaways, her ship is destroyed by unknown alien creatures. Stranded and surrounded, but not outgunned, she joins forces with other castaways in a bid to escape. A big adventure ensues!

Where Phoenotopia had more Zelda-style leanings, Star Iliad dives deeper into Metroid territory with a larger, interconnected map and a stronger focus on gun combat. We’ve learned the correct lessons from Phoenotopia— which is… Guns are Good 👍 Bats are Bad 👎 (joking!)

The story won’t be taking a backseat. While Phoenotopia featured a large ensemble cast, Star Iliad narrows its focus to a smaller group of more thoroughly explored characters.

(Characters can leverage expressive portraits to drive emotionally charged scenes)

Some additional in-development pics. We have both very finished & very unfinished looking areas.

Legacy of Phoenotopia

Since Phoenotopia’s development concluded, we’ve received some really encouraging emails from fans expressing how much they enjoyed it and even sharing their concern about whether we were doing alright. This meant a lot, especially considering Phoenotopia was not a strong seller.

For a while now, I’ve felt the need to allay those fears and let everyone know that we’re alive and hard at work on something new. With Steam’s fourth anniversary for Phoenotopia approaching, it felt like the right moment to finally share an update.

True, Phoenotopia was not a strong seller, but it would not turn out to be as bleak as I previously believed. Long after sales should have dwindled to zero, the game found a small, but steady threshold—a lifeline that has kept us funded. We’ve also been able to rely on family (and the occasional side job or two) to stay afloat.

Lastly, I think the game got some organic word of mouth, so there would be random times here and there where a youtuber or renowned streamer covered Phoenotopia and we’d get an unusual sales spike out of nowhere.

So, to all the fans who supported us, whether by buying the game, spreading the word, or just sending us kind messages—thank you! You’ve sustained us in ways you may not even realize, and we’re incredibly grateful 🙇

Chronicling Star Iliad’s development with a new Dev Log! (on wordpress)

After Phoenotopia, there was a bit of wandering around and thinking about what was next.

I wanted to settle into a quieter pace of development for a while. With Phoenotopia, I had been doing long form dev log updates. I wanted to try something different – a smaller, but more frequent form of dev logging. And it appeared that the new dev blogging meta was social media like Twitter & Instagram.

But there was no point in starting right away. Because 4 years back, we didn’t know what we were working on. It would take about a year of exploring & feeling around before “Star Iliad” developed enough shape and form that it could be talked about. Then we started twitter (@StarIliad) and instagram (@StarIliad), and started posting. Not as regular as I thought I would it turns out – short form updates have their own unique challenges and dev logging is always easy to neglect.

Still, if you’re curious, you can look at the StarIliad twitter account and enjoy the past 3 years of short form dev log posts (it may keep you entertained for all of 10 minutes).

As for the instagram account, it never quite took off, basically dying right out the gate >_>

In any case, we’re in the midst of development. It’s difficult to see the finish line from here, so I can’t announce a release date. What I can announce is the return of the dev log, where like times of yore, I will be chronicling our thoughts and tribulations until we reach the finish line. I invite you to join us by subscribing to the new dev log on wordpress.

(Also, please wishlist on Steam! It helps with the algorithm)

[bienmoreau]

It might have been (hopefully was) just a very brief rogue comment by someone who doesn't like him and doesn't care abt the book/this story. (unfortunately I was seen a fair bit of that straight after publication last year) rather than more genuine criticism/blame but it sure stuck with me cause of how bs it was.

Apparently I wrote an essay?? Sorry abt that, you do not have to read it and this is moving away from my original post which was more intended to be abt the nuance of that one moment being foreshadowing of why it's a trigger for him.

I absolutely refuse to join in with discourse in this fandom. I am too exhausted by simply navigating this space these days already.

But as a response in a sensible conversation (which I feel like you'd be open to), I think it's worth noting that this moment happens before the beach revelation. And the moment with Jeremy is even earlier. And with Lisinski it's just a whole other situation. I don't believe Jean is touch adverse, or that the others are invading his boundaries all the time. I think he lashes out when he's surprised and is already in a state of internal reactive stress. With Jeremy it's because of him asking about learning french and Jean is thinking about the trouble it caused when Kevin asked. With Laila it's because he's just be told Grayson is in town and it was suggested he meet him. Importantly in both these situations the others don't know that what they've just said is triggering something internal for Jean.

But I think it's unfair to say they don't back down or learn from these. I think they do get better as they learn more of the things that are off limits and how to identify when it wouldn't be good to touch him. As well as plenty of times where they do touch him and he has absolutely no issue with it. (Also, but I think importantly, often when they physically intervene when it may not 'be fine' it's to stop him from unconsciously self harming.)

Also as much as they may talk about him the three of them (and especially extended to the rest of the floozies as we know they don't share his personal shit with the rest of them.) aren't a hive mind and they can each make the same/similar mistakes without meaning to or it being an intentional ignoring of a boundary they may not know yet.

I do think a big part of it is them learning a very different way of being with and supporting someone traumatised. We see how affectionate they are with each other and at least with Jeremy's background I would imagine it makes sense for him to seek out physical contact as comfort and the girls are also happy with that and don't think twice about it. So it makes sense to me that there's a steep learning curve for them. Laila isn't intentionally doing something wrong there. She's trying to tend to his wound. That's a caring gesture, it's just very badly timed and perhaps not as thought through as it could have been. But she isn't inside his head like we are so doesn't know where he's at mentally just then. I also think had it been, say, his arm instead of his neck, his reaction would likely have been different in that moment.

I also think it's important that he's not been put in bubble wrap. Of course I don't mean they should ignore his boundaries or expect unreasonable progress from him but if he doesn't get pulled out of his modus operandi and given some new expectations and experiences he's going to stay pacing the walls of his self sustained cell. It's a fine line and I won't pretend they don't cross it sometimes (or that I would expect them not to lbr. This is a random bunch of pretty privileged young adults in '07 California. Why would they be inherently good at dealing with all of his everything?) but I also think that it's important for those boundaries to be tested occasionally, and going both ways, so that he has the chance to learn that it's safe to test them too. Someone touching a wet cloth to his neck isn't a threat or attack. His instinct to lash out when stressed and triggered isn't going to cause him to be beaten. Moments like this while of course not ideal, and uncomfortable to read, are points in which he learns in real time that this place isn't the nest and what he's been conditioned intentionally and unintentionally by his time there does not serve him in the world outside that environment.

A huge part of healing is identifying the ways we survived that we cling to beyond their usefulness. Of seeing how sometimes the survivor in us is now doing more harm than good to our system and ability to move beyond our trauma in a healthy and functional way.

As much as I agree about him having the right to defend his boundaries I don't agree that violence is necessarily a proportionate response and that's also something he is learning by being with them. From the Jean I met in this book he doesn't like violence. He doesn't relish it or want to be subject to it or subject it on others but he is still learning how to not bite when he could just growl or when maybe he doesn't even need to do that and he would still be okay.

Back on my annotated reread of TSC and thinking abt how Jean's reaction to Laila when he hits her isn't just about being touched unexpectedly.

It's because it's his neck.

It is specifically because it's 'something warm and wet against his injured neck'.

It's because it's literally happening in the middle of a conversation in which Cat just suggested Jean meet in person with Grayson.

Like as much as people can be upset he hit her or didn't immediately apologise (also tho like. Did we read the same book? It literally has it right there that apologising is not how this kinda thing is handled in the nest. Why would Jean think to do that here??) can you really be surprised that those circumstances triggered his fight response? Like really?

[triptychofvoids]

kinda love that people genuinely come to you for health advice and you earnestly answer them, thank you for your work

aheh gern gesehen, its what im here for!

[shannonsketches]

something something foils moving in opposite directions Goku's always happy to seek and fight stronger opponents because he spent most of his life being the strongest guy in the room and Vegeta wants to be the strongest/is always exhausted to find stronger opponents because he spent most of his life having to navigate his survival around the whims of the strongest guy in the universe room and so Goku has a foundation of safety and stability and so spends his time craving challenge and adventure and Vegeta has a foundation of challenge and adventure and spends his time craving safety and stability and the overlaid section of their venn diagram is that the only way they know how acquire and maintain those things is through battle

[thatmooncake]

Me when I’m writing: Man it’d probably be easier to just draw this

Me when I’m drawing: Man it’d probably be easier to just write this

[brandthefish]

I DID THE THING!!!

[CLICK]

ARCHIVIST

Statement of Cameron McClain, regarding a training session at the public pool they worked at. Original statement given June 20th, 2008. Audio recording by Jonathan Sims, Head Archivist of the Magnus Institute, London. Statement Begins. 

ARCHIVIST (STATEMENT)

Hi, sorry for the smell. I wore this shirt over my work clothes and haven’t gotten the opportunity to wash it yet. So, I’m a lifeguard, that much should’ve been obvious already. It’s a good job, I make more than my friends who are working in fast food or retail, and we’re actually well-staffed this year, so the hours have been better. Let me tell you, a nine-hour shift in the hot summer sun is not something you can do for forty hours a week. I remember that once after coming back from a week-long vacation I was scheduled for six days straight. After the fifth day, I slept for fifteen hours and put my shift on the trade board. But, I’m rambling. You want to know why I’m here. I saw how your receptionist looked at me, and I can tell teenagers aren’t your favorite people to have in your workplace. 

This happened a few days ago, I’d say the 16th or 17th? Now, this is my first year as a Head Guard. Head Guards are partially responsible for the training of new guards, or people who need to renew their certifications, which expire after two years. We always do the water rescue portion last. Nothing seemed off from what I remembered. 

Then it was time for water rescue training. I already was feeling a bit off and anxious. Both because of this being my first time teaching this. and because I wasn’t wearing my chest binder. I’m sure you could tell by looking at me that I’m transmasculine. I don’t bind during any activity that would be too strenuous. And part of water rescue training is… quite frankly, one of the worst things I’ve ever done. 

We have a diving well at the pool I work at and it’s the deepest water we have at twelve feet deep. The exercise is relatively benign in concept. Swim to the bottom of the twelve, and retrieve an infant-sized rescue dummy named Timmy from the bottom. The part about this that always made it difficult for me, was the water pressure. 

Have you ever felt twelve feet of water pressure? It’s like the entire world is squeezing you. 12 foot deep water pressure has five point two pounds per square inch of pressure on the body. Which doesn’t sound like much, but it only takes 8 pounds of pressure to break your nose. I can feel my eyes and pressure being exerted on them. It feels like a vice is pressing on my skull from all directions. It feels like my ears are going to explode. It feels like the water is trying to squeeze the air out of my lungs and crush my ribs. That last point is why I didn’t wear my binder to this particular training session. 

The way lifeguards are taught to retrieve someone from the bottom of the pool is to do a surface dive, which is a fancy way to say, you’re already in the water, you go under while your body is still straight up and down, swim down either facing up or down, then grabbing the dummy and surfacing. Now they do give us a bit of grace, leaving a rescue tube with the slack hanging down at the water’s surface. But the water is still too deep to have the tube attached to you. So you’re twelve feet under, with the world trying to crush you, with only your own strength to get you back up, and a dummy to bring back up with you. 

But, I’m a professional and there are four other Head Guards, two managers and a small horde of new guards in training. So with my heart already racing, I got in the water, locked my ankles together, took a deep breath, and went down. It always starts fine. I like the silence of being in shallow water, like you’re fully under in the bath. But this kept getting worse and worse. I’ve learned over the years that when doing this, it’s best for me to have my eyes closed so I can’t see myself getting deeper and deeper. But as I swam further and further down, something was wrong.

The pressure was more intense than it ever had been. I could feel it compressing my joints. My spine ached like the water was trying to crush it. I could feel my fingers bending and I struggled to keep them in the cupped pose to go down as fast as I needed to. I’ve been doing this training exercise for three years now. I don’t think I’ve ever grunted in pain while I was going down. 

Against my better judgement, I opened my eyes. I don’t know where I was, but I wasn’t in the pool anymore. It was dark. So… so dark. It shouldn’t have been dark, it was noon-ish when I dove. I wasn’t anywhere near the bottom, but I still saw Timmy at the bottom, but it wasn’t a dummy anymore. I know the difference between a training dummy and a person. That was a child. An actual toddler lying motionless at the bottom of this new, dark pool. Against all my better judgement, I kept swimming down. 

I could hear my heartbeat in my skull, I felt like I was running out of air so fast. But I knew I wasn’t. I know how long I can hold my breath. I also know that water pressure squeezing your chest makes you think you’re running out of air faster than you are. I had just told all the new guards that. 

When I finally reached the bottom, I felt like the entire ocean was trying to crush me. I kicked off the side of whatever wall I was close to. Entirely too slow, I got to Timmy and grabbed him by the fabric of his swim shirt. I put him in a seat belt grab then kicked off the bottom to get up as fast as possible. Up seemed so, so far. I didn’t feel the pressure change, like I was swimming in place. I desperately kicked and pulled with my free arm, feeling my joints cramp up. I saw the surface but it was so far, and I wasn’t getting any closer. I needed to get back up. I wouldn’t drown. I wouldn’t die, I have so much life left to live. I wouldn’t let my summer job kill me. I reached the surface after far too long. I was out of air, I could feel it, I felt like my lungs were going to implode. Every joint in my hands cramped up. When I surfaced, it was night. Which I know, sounds impossible. I went in the water at noon, there was no way the sun had already set, I would’ve drowned if I was under for that long!

I looked at Timmy under my arm… he was the dummy again. I was done at this point and threw the hunk of waterlogged plastic, rubber and fabric onto the pool deck before I crawled out and collapsed. I still felt like I couldn’t breathe. I didn’t remember swallowing any water, but I coughed up water onto the concrete. 

I think I fell asleep there because when I opened my eyes, it was day again. One of the managers found me and asked why I was there. I told him that I didn’t know. That I just woke up there. I knew he wouldn’t believe me. He sent me home, highly recommending I go to the hospital. Turns out there was still water in my lungs and that by for all intents and purposes, I should have died. 

I don’t do that training exercise anymore. When I am on stand I don’t go on the stand that would put me by the diving well. I can’t go back in. The pressure will break me again, I just know it. I… I don’t think I’ll be going back next summer. 

ARCHIVIST

Statement Ends.

Interesting. Martin called several aquatic centers in London before finding the one Mx. McClain appears to have worked at. The LAC, London Aquatic Center, did have a Cameron McClain in their employ for four years. The manager he spoke to, Keegan Winters, corroborated some of Mx. McClain’s story. He found them on the pool deck the day before opening, ‘Timmy’ a few feet away from them, and showing signs of hypothermia. 

What’s interesting is that when looking for hospital records, the many other patients that had come from the London Aquatic Center. Marcus Golden, a lifeguard in training was admitted June 17th 1979 with a partially collapsed lung. Samantha Kane July 9th 1986 with damage to the neck and throat, which permanently changed the frequency of her voice. And Nathan Smith, June 16th 2016 with both his eardrums burst. All of these are injuries frequently caused by barotrauma, or more plainly put, water pressure. It seems the only reason Mx. McClain didn’t sustain any permanent damage in their incident is the frequency in which they performed this exercise. 

Though when asked for a follow-up, Mx. McClain informed us that they have developed chronic joint pain, particularly in their back, hands and legs, and they now walk with a cane. These could be unrelated. Mx. McClain informed us that they no longer work at the London Aquatic Center and as a ‘precaution’ they no longer swim in water more than six feet deep. 

Whatever's wrong with that pool, I suspect that all its victims got off lightly. And perhaps 'Timmy' is someone we should investigate further'

End recording.

[CLICK]

anyway it's on Ao3 now too...

Ya'll ever get the urge to write your own statement?

In my lifeguarding I've experienced water pressure without any barriers and MAN I could write a statement about normal 12 foot deep water pressure alone. I might just have to. For science.

[flyinglowdown]

i have a dream. and that dream is cressida/eloise/lord debling

[purbiworl]

I wish we could see these two interacting outside of the Advent Calendar (and one or two neogreetings) 😔 I want to see them being petty old men but still ending their day knowing that despite how often they quarrel, they still care for each other 🥺

[youraveragecatastrophe]

It kills me how little self-preservation Carmen has, how much she disregards her personal safety. She decides not to see Gray again not because of the reasonable concerns Player mentions, but because she fears putting Gray in danger. Her safety does not come into play in the equation.

And, sure, her "occupation" is always dangerous but she's never trying that hard to stay safe. Whatever is necessary to get the job done.

[juliareed]

Fandoms: Alias, Revenge Characters: Sydney Bristow, Daniel Grayson Song: Smother by Daughter Summary: Exploring some of the parallels between the Bristows and the Graysons, mainly between Sydney and Daniel. Content warnings: Character death, suicide attempt, self-harm, alcohol/drug addiction, violence, flashing lights

[gothsuguru]

ok. will scrap whatever i’ve written for “premonition of love” and start anew 🙂‍↕️