#and the last one im not telling the story very well
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oh my god please tell me more about practical effects i LOVE practical effects
hi anon i owe you my life. here’s some stuff i learned from the industrial light and magic docuseries i jusf finished watching & also the george lucas bio i finished recently (i recommend both to ppl who care abt star wars history or the docuseries if u care abt effects)
1. in order to do the shots they wanted for star wars they had to invent a camera that could do the things they needed. it’s called a motion control camera & they needed it so they could make composite shots. basically rhe camera needed to be able to follow the same exact path multiple times so they could film multiple elements. this took a shitton of time and money bc they had to invent it and then learn how to use it. and they did do it! but george lucas was pissed w how long it took & fired the guy who had invented the camera
2. i was really fascinated by the use of matte paintings for star wars...first of all one of the main people doing matte paintings was harrison ellenshaw, son of peter ellenshaw, who famously did the matte paintings for mary poppins. but like when obi wan is trying to turn the tractor beam switch off and he's over a bottomless pit in the death star, that background is a matte painting! they're really well done like i wouldnt have guessed
3. a lot of the less important/central models are just repurposed hobbyist models. like wwii planes and tanks and shit. they'd buy them in bulk and then break them apart and repurpose them for whatever
4. the death star trenches were like. they made these big rubber molds of all these different pieces that they had to then cut up and put in random patterns so it wouldnt LOOK like it came from the same like handful of molds, right. and it was everyone's least favorite thing to construct.
5. when lucas showed the rough cut of star wars to all his filmmaker buddies they were mostly like. hey, this is shit. but there was one effect, where 3po and r2 leave leia's ship in an escape pod. and they put like, mica powder on the model, so it would look like the escape hatch like sparked and fuses blew, basically. and THAT scene, people liked bc it looked cool and ppl who were filmmakers knew that that had to have been some like smart effect.
#under a readmore bc it got long#and the last one im not telling the story very well#but check out the docuseries light and magic if yr interested in effects i rly enjoyed it#asks
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Happy Sonic Prime Season 2 Day!!
#prince's art tag#shadow the hedgehog#sonic prime#sonic prime season 2#sonic prime s2 spoilers#sonic prime spoilers#sth#shadow sth#ok to reblog#this is the second time i've ever drawn shadow but the first time i've ever posted it#For this piece I decided to limit the color palette#and w/ the exception of the blue light ring I took the colors from two characters of a game the just got a port release recently#it was gonna be only one but the character didn't have the colors for the tech so i had to use two#im very surprised how well the character i used for Shadow's colors work well for him#also decided to make it lineless which is hard to do without using vector properties#but I did it!#I made this screenshot redraw for three reasons#1) I love Shadow and figured I was due to draw him#2) I binged watched season 1 of sonic prime and the first episode of season 2 and lost my mind over this screenshot#3) to tell the following story of what led me to binge watch this show last week#(and no it wasnt so id be ready for season 2. I didnt even know it was coming back this soon. that was a coincidence)#so when the trailer dropped for season 1 I was like 'oh this looks cool! I should watch it when it comes out' and then forgot about it#but recently someone I follow was reblogging and posting stuff about this show and it reminded me of this show but still didnt watch it#but then last friday I took a nap so I'd have energy to stay up the whole night doing something. I hadn't figured out what tho#and during my nap I had a dream that sonic and shadow were working together to take down a common enemy#and at one point in the fight Shadow got hit and slammed into a stone wall and there was a cracked indent where he slammed into it#so when I woke up I took that as a sign to start watching this show#and about 6 hours later I was head deep into this show and the tags reblogging everything in sight#(if you're a follower of mine and your dash was covered in sonic posts that night that was why)#and then it turned out the show was coming back today so that worked out great for me
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went into the notes of that poll going around about if people want more seasons of supernatural and was immediately slapped in the face with how different my priorities are in this fandom from. a lot of it. what are you talking about ‘destiel endgame’. girl the show has bigger problems to fix than that if it ever had more seasons. they taught a three year old that the best way to be loved was to continuously try to kill himself and then they made him god.
#i can’t honestly imagine any world where there’s destiel and its like. satisfying. in any way.#as in: your options here are a) ignore the last seasons of dean. not treating cas very well to put it bluntly. you’d just have to ignore#that and go straight to They’re Fine :) Happy Ending which is. what i am picking up that the people on that poll want.#or b) go all in and make this a horror story to the end. give them destiel and make it exactly as fucked and miserable as it would#realistically be. and then that whole side of the fandom would be mad because toxic gay people shouldn’t exist actually. too complicated.#and the thing is that neither of these are at all satisfying. the second one is better. but its still. bad.#im being serious here im not trying to beat down on this. i genuinely cannot see a way. with the last few seasons setting things up the way#they did. that destiel endgame would make anyone happy. or be good. at all.#anyway like i said there’s bigger problems. new god went through years of child abuse and believes he deserved it because he was born wrong.#look me in the eyes and try to tell me this will lead to a good outcome. jack is about to do godstiel arc 2 except he won’t explode from it.#he is about to kill so many people who are Bad. and not see why that would be wrong to do.#okay im done im done i swear
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it is interesting how different stories about showbiz try to depict a character as having star power like a common method in audio-visual mediums is music and lighting to try to make a fictional actor's performance in a fictional movie look transcendent (like in Babylon 2022 which I watched the other day) while mediums that don't have the benefit of audio or the moving picture like most comics will have something like a bunch of sparkly screentones all over the place or glitter in their eyes that kinda thing (like too many manga about the entertainment industry to name) but i still have a soft spot for Penguin Revolution's method of just hallucinating wings on everyone
#if ur not very good but have potential ur star power wings look like shitty little chicken wings <3#also my thoughts on babylon: i dont think id recommend it to like anyone it was 3 hours and the parts that were wack were REALLY wack#but the parts that were good were REALLY REALLY good so im conflicted HJKDSJKDSJDKS#i dont think i have a very favorable opinion on it but im glad i watched it. the sum of its parts is greater than its whole i guess#i truly madly deeply hated the grossout humor bits not just cause they were grody but also like. they were so far and few between they like#jumpscared me every time. just long enough between each bit that i forgot about the last one. guess thats why its 3 hours#but some parts were SO SO GOOD and so so well done. huuuurghghhguhghrhhhghh im so conflicted about that movie#but i do appreciate it as a movie thats so conflicting to me. part of me thinks maybe i should have been weirder#i know im biased cause i love my weird ass manga and my weirdass visual novels about the entertainment industry but i think maybe#maybe it should have gone weirder with it. get more heightened. can we get much higher (slowly morphs into a one piece cock edit)#um. anyway i do love seeing how different stories in different mediums try to depict a characters electricity and charisma#in scenarios where the audience would not be able to tell#its like fascinating
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John Crichton + Sloop John B
#I DID IT#literally spent like the last 3 hours on this lol#from collecting the screenshots to getting here#there was a couple more scenes i wanted to include that couldnt fit but oh well#i was gonna be like oh haha now thats its done it looks kind of silly doesnt it cause im insecure#NO i dont care i take it seriously >:(#this unironic to me#and it was very fun to make also >:)#especially looking through the episodes for scenes i wanted tehee i love this show so much#i love love LOVEEEE the story of a character who cant go home#im almost done with ds9 and soon as i finish i swear im watching this again#ALSO for that last screenshot idk if u can tell but i chose that one because its Talon!Crichton#realizing that he's going to die of radiation and will never make it home :')#farscape#john crichton#long post#farscape edit#sir i protest i am not a merry man
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oh god i havent looked at youtube all day today have they massacred my boy
#im SO afraid to look#im not going to go looking for it. if i come across it natrually well then maybe i will watch it. but holy shit#torn absolutely TORN between refreshing everything or just going i am looking away i do not see it#because LAST YEAR. i had to sit thru like a whole 20 minute video and then he was only in it for like.#a single line of dialogue at the very end.#hmmmmmmmmm#nobody tell me. but also i kind of want you to tell me. hows my boy is he ok is he covered in blood#im gonna sit in my 2 hr halloween night car ride and daydream abt us carving pumpkins and dressing up together in the meantime#head in hands. muffled screaming#happy anniversary. btw.#🔪#it has now been.... 7 years. holy shit#well. technically 5. but he has been in my LIFE for 7 years so im counting it . he was one of those insta-crush characters.#but i disnt know self ship was a proper thing until later#or. i did bc ive been doing it for like. forever#but i had a few layers of self inflicted cringe and also i didnt rlly know there was a community for it.#IDK. IM RANBLING CAUSE IM NERVOUS#i miss him. but also. i dont like the direction the story is implied to be going#((i say the word “story” so very loosely. but still. i miss 2016 era so bad))
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Some mama time sketchs too
#this are messy sorry#i still dont got all my ideas resolved about how to envision the outcomes of gray and dark#i want to see it as messy flings that willowpelt had in the past#that she prefers to move on#not that type of being heartbreaked forever#tho very deep inside she is :(#to me dark could be the outcome with a loner or a shadowclan cat#they have it well but sometimes they would fight and such i think#willow will start to distrust him feeling like he is just using her as his tool to spy her clan#a big fight is the last time she sees him.#and going with that option that he was a shadowclan cat#not even in gatherings she sees him#she makes her bittersweet guess#she tries to wash those feelings to care in darkkit tho#...then for gray outcome im thinking about being a kittypet for fun#i would like to write the all story but its just doomed relationship not that much of an angst heartbreak#the just part in different ways#in this two flings willowpelt never tell the toms that she was expecting#these later make sense with later whitestorm showing so openly that he is the father of her last litter#that storyline yeah happiness for her at least a little ❤️#also the weird draws are dreams that willow had one time about her two first kits#in my mind the ideas make sense#stinky gooffy nature mom#just babbles and ideas
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read asoue to weeman as a bedtime story he liked it YAYYYY
#i set up a oneblock mc workd 4 him bc hes been obsessed w them#took me a while bc im an idiot FJFBFNN but i got it. nd he was having fun but itsba school night#but he was in my room playing so eventually i convinced him to turn off mc (meryl my computer came in with an assist (battery low warning so#i could say I think meryl is getting tired....)) so then he helped me turn it off but was still so sad#so i offered for him to stay cozy in my room 4 awhile and we sat together and then i said we could read a story together#so he read his favorite book 2 me (not a box if anybody is curious) and then i relized my copies of asoue r in storage at current moment#Which was the bummer. but i checked out the ebook from my library in wa YAYY I LOVE LIBRARIES#so i was reading that to him :] and he was super into it asking me abt words i didnt know he even asked me Why is his last name snicket...#as if the name lemony isnt weirder NRNTJFNhes funny#but ya. and he was asking me questions abt the story (How did that fire start.... Maybe they left the oven on too long 😥😥😥) but he was#rly into it... i was a bit worried itd be a bit too sad 4 him But i underestimated him . he was very sad when their parents died but very#invested. we got abt midway through chapter 4 (klaus had just said the thing abt olaf only giving them one bed) and then he started#fake snoring. so i carried him to his room and then unfortunately he noticed that his phone was charged so he decided to play on that a bit#before bed . sigh . I did my best#nd then i told my mom and she had the gall to be like Sigh when i said he grabbed his ohone and its like. Well thatis bc you gave him a#phone to play on and whenever you dont feel like listening to him when he wants to tell you things you distract him with any screen in reach#like. yk. itis entirely your alls fault. and i feel bad#hes such a sweet kid and yes he does have a tendency to talk a lot bc hes . an autistic 6 year old who loves a lot of things and is excited#to share. yk. but most everyone just ignores him and i feel bad...#i try my best to listen sometimes i have trouble following but like. yk.#and a lot of the stuff is abt whatever youtubers hes watching which. sigh. but whtevr#idk. i worry abt him having a phone with internet access like. hes only got kids youtube and stuff but. well i dont love kids having access#to the internet so young <- guy who was doing erp with strangers online at age 7.#but. waghhhhhhfhfhrbfufbfjr. wtvr#anyways. im glad he liked the story at least im hoping i can get him into reading more#he likes reading but im gonna ask my mom if i can get all my books out of storage#theyre like. hes still quite young for most of them but ive got some old junie b jones#and i think tag would like a lot of them as well ... neither of them read a lot it makes me sad but its. understandable. my parents didnt#teach tag to read like at all and they still struggle with it#so i cannot blame them. but i think the books i liked at their age r things theyd like so ! yk.
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Hi guys guess who's literally shaking rn from excitement
#rat rambles#oni posting#beta moments. explodes.#now as expected not everything is fully implemented and I imagine theres going to be more logs and such when the main story trait of this#planetoid is fully implimented in the actual dlc when it releases#but there are still some new logs that can be viewed already and Holy Shit#ok ok so first of all we have confirmation that gossmann is her last name and her first name starts with an e#I also am amazed at my hc of harold being a dad being true like yo I actually nailed it with that hc#however that news is far outshadowed by the fact that pretty much all of my jackie childhood hcs being completely obliterated#and by completely I mean COMPLETELY like its not even like a detailed retelling or anything its just an email#but as I honestly kind of expected my hcs are completely dead and gone in the wind rest in peace jackie hcs#Im honestly completely ok with this tho as while I did like my hcs ot definitely was the sort of thing I did not want to be canon#like honestly the fact that this implies that jackie actually has a decent relationship with her family is perfect to me#I also like how it gives us another bit of insight on jackie's life outside of gravitas without her even saying anything directly#its going to be sad to move away from my old hcs but I am honestly kind of digging the new implications#wait a minute#ok now I need to know what the family tree here looks like jackie are those your parents and are they divorced this is important#WAIT I NOTICED A SECOND THING#ok well first of all one of the presumably jackie relatives is a colonel which like so fucking lines up with how jackie is#but also I think that some of the other new logs might also be abt jackie relatives#one of the new logs in fact directly mentions a colonel#in fact the log in question seems to be a part of another trio of logs that probably are abt different outcomes of the same event#they seem to be about an incident that either resulted in the injury death or successful recovery efforts of a crew of piolets#with the one that ended up being able to be saved being credited to the colonel (telling us they were almost certainly in the air force)#all three end with gravitas showing some form of hostility towards the vertex institute for some reason or another#and in the two where things go wrong stretches out an invitation for those affected to apply at gravitas instead#and the one where things turn out ok theres mention of claims of corporate espionage#which I find Facinating on so many levels in either direction this could go#to be clear these three logs are written in a very broken up manner as they seem to be corrupted radio programs or smth#anyways this is all to say that smth fucked up happened over there and it has the chance to make jackie so So much worse
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do you ever feel like talking to an older adult is like talking with a fucking brick wall with a stubborn fucking mouth
#my mom today flat out told me not to 'list what you think will diagnose you to the doctor tomorrow'#?????????#what the FUCK is she talking about????#she told me not to use certain words with them#THAT I NEVER EVEN USED EVER IN THE FIRST PLACE?????#how is that woman SO convinced im wrong about whats going on#IN MY OWN BRAIN#she says shit like 'i know you i know theres nothing wrong with you'#BITCH YOU HAVENT KNOWN ME IN 8 YEARS#THE EXACT SAME FUCKING SECOND I REALIZED YOU WERE NOT GONNA HELP ME WITH SCHOOL WAS THE SECOND I REALIZED#I COULD NEVER TELL YOU MY PROBLEMS AGAIN#this is a very long story#that hopefully will get some progress tomorrow#sorry for the rant but im way too anxious for the apointment tomorrow#i dont really know what to expect and i dont even know if ill be able to sleep well enough#by the way she is the one that didnt mention things to my last doctor trying to steer it to an specific outcome not me#and she failed by the way because the guy got to the exact same conclusion i got 5 fucking years ago#(things i didnt even know about btw)#ill probably update on something when im back tomorrow#we'll see#zux rambling#fuck
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many people were confused about some of my previous posts, so for the sake of clarity i am condensing everything! tumblr has extremely transphobic moderation practices, often flagging completely innocent posts as explicit, solely for containing trans women in them or mentioning transgenderism. while letting untagged porn in sfw tags (ive literally seen porn tagged as "sfw agere") and blatent hatespeech, especially twards trans people (just look at the "gender critical" tag) go completely unchecked recently the CEO of tumblr had a big public hissyfit about people (rightfully) calling him transmysogenistic, going into random trans womens dms to harrass them, and saying that predstrogen saying she "hopes he explodes with hammers and then explodes again and hammers fly everywhere" is a death threat and saying he is calling the FBI on her (repeatedly misgendering her and calling her "it") and many bloggers, apon speaking out about it or even making harmless jokes (one trans woman posted a picture of a car and a hammer with the caption "reblog to scare matt" and got nuked for it) and many are very very angry (rightfully) about this whole affair and tumblr in general. if you would like to look into it i reccomend scrolling the "predstrogen" tag as she is the case most people are talking about at the moment. So, what can we do? this is clearly an ongoing issue, and, dispite having lost a lawsuit about their transphobic moderation in the past (see : https://www.documentcloud.org/documents/21274288-tumblr-nycchr-settlement) its clearly not gonna stop with just user complaints, as staff members are perfectly content to just go scorched earth on users who even so much as lightly poke fun at them well if you want to help you should contact the human rights commision (i will give clear details further down) ! you dont have to be in the US, nor be an adult to file, and it only takes a few minutes. this is the best and most effective method to fix this, because it hits tumblr where it hurts. human rights acencies have a lot of legal and financial power and tumblr CAN NOT just ignore them, and given that this will be the seccond time this is happening, the commisions shouldnt be playing nice anymore eaither. its really important that AS MANY PEOPLE AS POSSIBLE FILE, and with different examples! while maybe your case might not be enough to prop up a lawsuit on its own, we need to prove a general trend. so every little bit counts! to respond to another question abt this ive gotten, as for what exactly to report, you should a) write about an act of discrimination youve recieved on tumblr that was eaither administered by a staff member OR that staff refused to give adequate moderation action in for example : a terf posted some blatent hatespeech targeted twards you, and you reported them, and staff looked at the issue and refused to persecute it. example 2 : you were unfairly flagged, deleted, or otherwise punished by a staff member and you are queer ( AND the post they banned you for has some kind of tie to your gender, ex : a sfw transition progress photo ) OR b) if you have not personally recieved something like that, please look for other peoples stories (THEY SHOULDNT BE HARD TO FIND, within the last couple of hours trans people have been being banned LEFT AND RIGHT for trying to speak on this. i would reccomend checking some of the tags related to what happened with predstrogen) and you should describe that incident as best as possible (be sure to disclose that you are speaking for someone else, ideally you should tell the story of someone you know, if possible.) you can also mention any reports you have made twards people posting blatent hatespeech that, opon reveiwing tumblr refused to prosecute dispite it being very obviously against terms of service. just so nobody gets confused about the filing process, im laying it out in more plain languadge!!
first you should email the SF HRC (san francisco human rights commision), at [email protected] and say something along these lines :
Hello, I am [full name] from [country or state] and I am filing a complaint against Tumblr, witch is owned by the parent company Automattic Inc. located at 60 29th St, San Francisco, CA 94110.
Tumblr has had previous issues with the NYC DHR for their moderation being unfairly biased against trans women (see : https://www.documentcloud.org/documents/21274288-tumblr-nycchr-settlement).
Despite a legally binding agreement with the NYC DHR, staff members still regularly harrass users based on their gender or sexual orientations. For example : on [date of most recent infraction] [describe incident] (if you are describing an incident that did not happen to you specifically, say something like) This incident involves the user [username] who I am not affiliated with (or/) who I am filing on behalf of.
I can be reached for further inquiries about this incident at [email you want to talk over] or [phone number you want to talk over]. (if you would like to be anonymous) However, In the event of legal prosecution against Automattic I would refer to be kept anonymous, where possible, in court proceedings. alternatively, you can also call the SF HRC at : 415-252-2500, you can use the above text as a starting point for this as well, next you want to fill out the form for the NYC DHR (new york city department of human rights) here : https://www.nyc.gov/site/cchr/about/report-discrimination.page for company you wanna put : Automattic and/or Tumblr for address you wanna put : 770 Broadway, New York, NY 10003 for phone number you wanna put : (646) 513-4321 and for category of discrimination you can put : Discriminatory harassment and basis of discrimination you can put : Gender; Gender identity you can then use a similar script on the written section of the form. when describing a specific incident, you should attach as many screenshots and links as possible! (for links, include both a live link and an archival link, so take a capture with the internet archive and have that as an alternative, incase a staff member gets petty.) this should only take a few minutes at most, and it helps alot! you can fill this out if you are a minor, and you dont have to be a us resident, please please take the time!!! and, just to clarify because there are many posts going around that are confused about this tumblr moved offices to san francisco recently, so their main HQ is at : 60 29th St, San Francisco, CA 94110 they DO still have an office in new york city, and thats where their PREVIOUS HQ was, the address is : 770 Broadway, New York, NY 10003
#art#my art#mspaint#rowens liddol guys#mspaint animations#the beast speaks#important shit#transgender#trans#predstrogen
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kinda funny seeing that last queued tf post with me gushing in the tags abt the comic bc i havent felt joy or even an emotional connection reading mtmte for a while
#idk man something just aint right. whether im just getting hit with another depressive episode or. idk.#the writing just feels... different. it feels weirdly cartoony? even though. the beginning was also really cartoony? but this feels worse#i liked the beginning so much more i liked the characters that cared so little about each other and the overall oppressive mood#idk part of it is i really dont like typical western superhero comic tropes and writing styles at aalllllllll#i cant stand the lack of foreshadowing and 'well just believe that it was secretly always like this' and the superpowers and trying to#raise the stakes by just Saying 'you might die' but its ok nobody does nor does the concern cross your mind#and i cant tell if the jokes are worse or more frequent but certain characters dont even seem like themselves anymore to me#the last thing i enjoyed was around when rewind killed a man. everything since has felt like some marvel movie type writing and it hurts#what happened to nuance and reading between the lines my good friends nuance and reading between the lines#'the one with sunder was good its a really good horror' <- why did you lie to me. are you mad at me#it wasnt even fun..... wasnt even interesting......#isnt this supposed to be a story abt attempting to adjust to postwar life and how fucked everything is. and how no#-thing is morally cut between good/evil? theres nuance? theres depth? whered all that depth go? maybe i imagined it this whole time#like.even the thing with skids gave me less of an impact when its surrounded by such. cheezyness. it deserves more consideration? respect?#good god its a very direct depiction of a very real horror dealt to rEAL PEOPLE#AND ITS CORRELATED WITH 'OTHERS RECEIVE SUPERPOWERS FROM THIS REVELATION' FUCK YOU#i feel bad for that plotline existing in that fucking situation jesus fucking christ you can't just do something like that#like. just. 'trauma gives you superpowers and also your suffering makes others stronger' how abt i go drink bleach.#maybe someone else will have a GREAT time if i do. <- kidding but like. christ man what the fuck#does this have to do with his whole 'i shouldnt have done red alert like that' idk what to tell you boss but that was nowhere near as bad#as the skids superpower giving scene.#red alert was fine it made sense it was severely relatable. it happens. but skids? no that fucking doesnt. what is that even trying to mean#beyond yknow. what guilt does to people. and cementing the worst of the war that um. isnt going to feel much justice at all it seems#sorry im in a very. tear everything apart kind of mood#dummy posts
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my masks
hey there buckaroos. due to all of the attention the TEXAS LIBRARY ASSOCIATION situation has gotten i am going to take a minute to talk about my personal way as an autistic buckaroo. im going to tell you about my masks.
im doing this for a few reasons, some are good FUN reasons full of love and some are not so great.
lets start with the GOOD STUFF. first of all, i am talking about this because speaking on my way can help other buckaroo feel more comfortable speaking on there own way, ESPECIALLY if they are good at ‘passing’ for neurotypical like chuck is.
unfortunately the NOT SO GREAT reasons im talking about all this dang stuff are two fold. reason one: i have been put into a position of having to explain and justify my needs and boundaries by the TXLA. this is not something that i WANT to be taking up all of my time, but when large organizations do not make space for those who they have pledged to support, it puts us smaller buckaroos into position where were have to defend our existence. it is not plesent but it is necessary.
the second NOT SO GREAT reason is that ‘passing’ bisexual and autistic people like myself are ALWAYS just seconds from being gatekept from folks both outside and inside these communities. there will probably be a day on chucks deathbed where i take off my mask and say hello to this timeline (mostly so you can all see how handsome i am under here but I DIGRESS). i KNOW with absolute certainty (the same way other bi and autistic buckaroos are probably nodding along right now) that when that day comes i will STILL be accused of ‘not being real’ and ‘faking’ because i ‘dont look autistic’ and i have a beautiful ladybuck partner in sweet barbara.
ALL THAT IS TO SAY, i am taking a moment today to talk FOR THE RECORD about my neurodigence and my particular needs. hopefully i will not have to keep diving this deep every time an organization takes a discrimantory action against me, but i will also say this: at least it is a good fight on an important battlefield
anyway buds, here is the story of my way on the spectrum
when i was a young buckaroo i knew that my thought process was different. i could socialize easily, which is unique in contrast to many autistic buds (it is a spectrum after all), but my social ease was for an interesting reason. I ALWAYS KNEW WHAT OTHERS WERE ABOUT TO SAY. it was like a strange ‘human game’ where someone would say one thing and i would think ‘well you actually mean something else’ in a sort of logical way (this is why i later related to DATA from star trek so dang much). at first i remember thinking ‘well i am just NOT going to play along with this human game’. i quickly learned neurotypical buckaroos do not like this, that there is a BOB AND WEAVE to social interactions that must be learned.
later i realized ‘actually if i WANT to make friends and prove love is real then i can do this like an expert because i can SEE the game where most cant’. this got chuck many buds and took me on many adventures. please understand, i am not saying these connections are not important to me, they are just different. they are full of love, but i express this in my own unique way.
HOWEVER, while growing up i felt disconnected from this timeline in other ways, like an alien or a reverse twin trotting along in a world that is not quite my own. i did not feel emotions the same way my buds did. they would get upset over the ‘human game’ interactions and i would not be moved at all, HOWEVER i could see the way sunlight hit a window and start crying my dang eyes out over the beauty. so my emotion was still there and VERY STRONG, i just felt it in more existential ways (like hearing the call of the lonesome train). these days that feeling has progressed to where i am pretty much in a constant blissed out state of cosmic emotional connection (make of that last sentence what you will, but it is the truth). when i make existential posts online i am not just FIRING OFF SOME CONTENT, i really mean every word. this is really my trot.
anyway as a young buckaroo these feelings made me worry sometimes. i thought about various mental health dianosises and marked the parts and pieces that matched with myself. am i this? am i that? sometimes, instead of just being’ different’ i worried i might actually be ‘wrong’.
when i saw david byrne on letterman in my younger days i immediately recognized something connected to myself. i thought ‘wow this is the mystery being solved before my very eyes.’ i could hear it in the music of talking heads too. i started doing research and realized that i might be on autism spectrum, something that was later confirmed by a therapist (back then the diagnosis was called asperger's). it was a glorious and fulfilling moment. i was SO EXCITED TO BE AUTISTIC LIKE MY HERO. i felt very cool because of it, and i still feel very cool because of it.
one of the big reasons i talk so much about being autistic these days is because i want to make sure OTHER buckaroos can have that same moment that i did. they can see chuck and think ‘wow i really like this autistic artist, maybe being autistic is cool’
so what does an average day WITHOUT wearing the pink bag look like for me?
my thought process is exactly like ROSE from CAMP DAMASCUS, which is part of why i wrote the book. we have the same stim (complex order of finger taps), we prepare for social interactions the same way, we analyze things in the same logical trot that neurotypical people might think feels ‘detached’ but for me feels natural (certain reviews of camp damascus are very funny to me in this way. you can tell when a reader is just very confused by existing in an autistic brain for 250 pages.)
from the outside you would not be able to tell that i am on the spectrum. in fact you would probably find me very socially adept.
the problem is, all of that masking can take its toll. i spent years trotting in and out the emergency room, talking to confused doctors who could not figure out the chronic phantom tension and pain that radiated through my body. i eventually accepted the fact that i would either live a life constantly on heavy painkillers or just stop living altogether.
eventually, however, i started noticing a correlation between the way that i felt, and the space that i allowed for chuck and the pink mask. i was exercising that tension, allowing my mental mask of neurotypical existence to take a rest. i started practicing physical therapy and this time THE RESULTS STUCK because i was approaching from two sides, MIND AND BODY. after a while, i got my pain down to about 5 percent of what it once was. i still have flare ups in times of stress, but the healing has been very real and life changing.
lets get VERY specific now. if i attended the TXLA confrence without a mask and gave my talk i can tell you this: i would do a dang good job. i can work the heck out of a crowd and (not to reveal too much about my secret way) I HAVE BEEN KNOWN TO DO THIS ON OCCASION VERY WELL. however, going home from this event i would very likely be in pain. i would likely need to do physical therapy. i would likely need to stim for a while. i would NOT be emotionally fullfilled in the same way. in other words, without my pink mask i can charm the heck out of buckaroos, but THE SPACE OF CHUCK TINGLE IS NOT THE SPACE FOR THAT. the pink bag is a place for me to not have to put up with that tension. it is a place for me to unmask mentally by masking physically.
this pink bag space SAVED MY LIFE and i am not going to risk blurring these lines. if and when that ever happens it will be MY decision, not someone elses. that is my boundary. the part of me that neurotypically masks could handle a library conference in a purely technical sense, but the part of me that chuck represents absolutely cannot and should not be asked to do that without the pink bag. unfortunately, the complexity of this point makes it even MORE difficult for me to think about and takes up even more of my time, because it forces me to START QUESTIONING MYSELF and my own needs. to be honest, that is the most insidious part of other people questioning your identify and refusing to accept your accommodation needs without ‘proof’.
the thing is, while all of this discussion of disability and accessibility is important, i have a much larger point to make by writing these words.
a conference should not uninvite someone with an unusual physical presentation or a strange way of speaking REGARDLESS of it being classified as a disability. it does not matter WHY i look the way that i look and wear what i wear. i should not have to spend all day writing this post instead of writing my next book, just because my sensibilities are unique and my presentation is unusual.
fortunately the solution is very simple: let other people be themselves. its not hurting you to simply accept and nod at the buckaroos you think look strange. let us exist
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Dating the Slytherin boys (+ Harry) - HEADCANONS
Requested: No
Characters: Mattheo Riddle, Tom Riddle, Theodore Nott, Draco Malfoy, Blaise Zabini, Regulus Black, Harry Potter (+ y/n)
Warnings: NSFW mentions, English is not my first language
A/N: I'm not sure I like this but here we go. However I have to say I like Regulus' one so I might turn his version into a one shot one day (when uni won't be killing me slowly). This will include also the pre-dating/flirting stage as well. SORRY FOR THE TYPOS. Comments and feedback are always appreciated. Enjoy! ^^
Tag list: @helendeath @im-jesus
Tag list for this story: @anawritez-posts @pumpkinchee @alwayslatetothefandoms
Mattheo Riddle:
His feelings for you probably confused him at first
If he falls first, he either won’t let you know or will do everything to get your attention (‘Hey, y/n, come sit here, the seat is free!”, “y/n, do you mind helping me with homework for Snape? I can’t bloody do it”, “How about we go to Hogsmeade, just you and me?”, “you look beautiful, y/n”)
Your love for him always calms him when he gets anxious or when he’s upset, especially after his father comes back
Will tell you things he never told anyone
Would rather spend time with you than with his friends
Is terrified something will happen to you because of his father
VERY jealous, but trusts you
Despite easily getting angry, he can’t get mad at you. Even during arguments
LOVES sleeping in your arms or when you just hold him
He's crazy about your body
Loves showering with you, and we both know how it often ends
HOT, passionate sex
Will randomly eat you out without expecting anything in return (doesn't mind if you return the favor, though)
100% calls you "baby" or "love" all the time
Doesn’t care about what anyone thinks of him as long as you love him
Your love makes him feel lighter and stronger
You're his whole world
Feels bad when he hears someone criticize you for dating him
Always makes sure you don’t overwork yourself, and makes sure you get enough sleep, water and food, and comforts you when you're anxious
Holds your hands when he's anxious or stressed
Will listen to anything you have to say
Crazy about your perfume
Theodore Nott:
Struggles to express his love or feelings in general, at least in the beginning
Has never done serious relationships before, and it may cause some trouble in your relationship, as you end up believing he doesn’t care about you
It causes many fights, and the last one will be the first time he says ‘I love you’
Always goes to you for comfort
Loves sleeping with you in his arms/on his laps, or cuddling, and with time he can’t sleep without you
Loves watching you sleep
Loves having you on his lap
Always gets you great gifts (even randomly)
“Well, it thought it was pretty, and…it reminded me of you.”
Will fight any guy who is rude to you or acts like a creep
Very jealous (trusts you, doesn’t trust others)
Doesn’t mind PDA at all, will gladly hold your hand or kiss you in public
Always has a hand on your waist or around your shoulders
Very supportive in everything you do, even when he doesn’t understand it/isn’t really interested in it
Isn’t very good with comforting people (mostly because he's not used to it), but will hold you and listen to you as long as you need, can even give you advice/reassurance
Every compliment/'I love you' you say melts his heart and means much more to him than he shows, same goes for anything you do for him
Loves doing fun things, even if it’s just throwing snowballs at each other during winter (which ends in loving kisses, just savouring the joy of being together)
Love getting in a pool with you and playing "childish" games during summer
Any form of intimacy means A LOT to him
He's used to hooks up and "fucking" but it takes him a bit of time to have sex with you (despite being crazy about you and your body) because you mean everything to him and with you it's really making love instead of just "fucking"
The first time is loving and slow yet passionnate (eye contact at all times, hands holding, desperate kisses from him), and it gets a bit rougher and passionate the next times (but aftercare, which he isn't used to, is always on point and keeps getting better)
Is secretly very insecure, and is terrified you will leave him (especially for another “better” guy)
Craves your touch and your love but won’t admit it
His boggart is probably you being dead alongside his mother
Will tell you sweets things in Italian
Very clingy in private - and also in public with time
With you he learns to be happier and discovers a happier side of himself he didn't know he had
Loves you much more than he actually shows at first
Will often say you're all he has (and means it)
But with time, you have no reason to doubt his love and he’s the perfect boyfriend
Blaise Zabini:
Probably will court you like the gentleman he is
He doesn’t trust people easily and might be a little distant (while always polite and kind) in the early stages of your relationship
But with time he becomes very warm and smiles a lot
Always kisses the top of your hand or your forehead
Doesn’t do much PDA except for holding hands and kisses on your forehead
However in private he’ll 100% cuddle you and hold you
Dates in parks or restaurants
Get you flowers at least once a month
Will always defend you against others
One of his love languages is acts of service
Lorenzo Berkshire:
You either were friends before dating or he fell in love with you at first sight, there is no in between
Takes you on fun dates (arcade, funfair, theme parks)
Can be shy at the beginning, which will make it a bit hard for him to talk about how he feels about you
Movie nights where you two eats lots of snacks and sweets while cuddling
Always smiles when you enter a room
So supportive
Loves when you're on his lap
He has no problem with PDA
Quickly willing to meet your family if you agree
He’s a great listener and mostly gives good advices
Loves taking naps with you
Always makes you sure you get enough sleep, water and food
Won’t let you get yourself into dangerous situations
Loves to go anywhere with you, no matter the activity and even if he just follows you around
Many pet names
If you're Muggleborn or grew up among Muggles, he will totally ask you questions about the muggle world
Passionnate sex, will get rough if he hasn't seen you in a long time or if it's angry sex after he got jealous
His aftercare is the best, and he's always thankful you trust him enough to have that form of intimacy with him
Draco Malfoy:
Won’t flirt at first with you but keeps wanting your attention
Tries to seduce you with expensive gifts, and is a bit taken aback when you say he doesn’t work
Continues to get you gifts, but will make sure they match your interests/tastes, and keeps expensive gifts for your birthdays and Christmas (even though he’d like to get them all year for you)
At first he doesn't show any weakness in your presence
With you he’ll learn patience and to focus of more positive things, and also to stand up to his father
Takes you on dates every chance he gets
Will ditch his friends to spend time with you
Probably makes Crabbe and Goyle carry your bags or do things for you
So proud to be dating you, it might even make him more arrogant
Gets grumpy when jealous but after a kiss on the cheek he’s back to his normal self
Will invite you to his home and write you nearly everyday during holidays
Hates it when Harry or any Gryffindor boy tries to talk to you
Surprisingly has no problem with PDA
Loves when you come to see him play during Quidditch matches
Tom Riddle:
Oh boy
It started with him admiring/watching you from afar, for a reason he can’t understand
SUPER confused by what he feels for you and why
Will probably try to get closer to you through homework or through books if he sees you read one
Will know everything about you, and will secretly follow you, saving you if you’re in danger with you never knowing who saved you
Crazy about your perfume, so much so that it makes him steal one of your clothes just to be able to smell it anytime he wants
After a while, he’ll spend most of his time with you without ever admitting he likes it
Will probably let you know his feelings for you after he cast a spell on a guy for being a creep with you
Won’t let another man touch you
Will ask Mattheo for advice to be better or to make you fall in love with him
Will do your homework without hesitation, even if he pretends that he hates it, and will leave explanations so you understand his answers/his work
No PDA except for holding hands or your hand under his arm, but will make sure to stay close to you at all times
Is a surprisingly good listener
VERY jealous, but surprisingly isn’t mad or suspicious at you
“Did you enjoy having his attention? Do you wish for me to show you how my attention is better?”
He doesn't stress over homework or stuff like that, so he finds it ridiculous when you do (learns with time to be more understanding)
Will let flowers in your room with a note on it
Pretends to not care about the gifts you get him for his birthday or Christmas but it actually means so much to him as no one ever got him any gifts before
Nothing the others say about him gets to him, but he gets angry when he hears someone say that you deserve better than him
Is secretly insecure about his background and the fact that he’s poor, and thinks you deserve better
As Voldemort: Might be torn between continuing his goals for power or spending a simple life with you; is aware you’ll leave him if he gets on a darker path
As Voldemort’s son: would do everything to protect you from his father, and if he’s forced to get the Dark Mark, he will makes sure you don’t know
Possessive kisses
Would hurt anyone who does you wrong
Borrows money from Draco to take you on dates or to get you gifts, as he feels like you deserve the nicest things, even though you keep telling him his mere presence is enough
May feel a little bit guilty that he can’t properly show you his love like “normal” boyfriends do
Won’t admit it but considers you the only good thing in his life, and if he ever lost you he’d get on a dark path
Won’t cuddle at first, but if you wake up first you’ll find him sleeping close to you, with at least one of his hands touching you
Always notices when you don’t eat, sleep or drink enough
You’re the first (and only) person he will feel romantic love for
He has a bit of sexual experience before, but with you it's completely different - once you guys have sex for the first time, he becomes obsessed with your body and how it makes him feel
Loves fingering you
"You like it, dove?"
Even if you guys don’t work out, he won’t ever be with somebody else
Would ask your parents for you hand in marriage, but honestly it's just out of politeness, the only answer that matters to him is yours
Regulus Black:
Like Blaise, he was raised the old fashioned way
Acts coldly towards everyone except you, his tone and eyes gets warmer and kinder when talking/looking at you, and you’re the only person he’ll smile at
You were his best (and only) friend and he has been in love with you for years
He hides his feelings very well, but one day you start dating someone else (thinking Regulus doesn’t share your feelings) but he can’t bear it and confesses his feelings
Always defends you
He’ll take you on restaurants or picnics dates, always bringing flowers
Mostly fine with PDA (holding hands, hands on your waist)
Thinks he’s very lucky to have you
Probably already starts thinking of marrying you during your last year at Hogwarts
A bit jealous, but can’t stand it when Sirius tries to talk to you
Will gladly do your homework with/for you
Loves it when you sleep in each other’s arms, loves feeling you close
Loves it when you call him “Reggie” (only you is allowed to)
Will literally do everything you ask him to
You’re everything to him
Can’t stay away from you for long
Will get worried if you’re five minutes late
Always calls you “sweetheart” or “love”/”my love”
Slow, romantic sex most of the time but sometimes he needs to be rougher
Thanks to you he’ll feel lighter and he will become kinder
You’ll even make him change his views on blood purity and stand up to his parents, and with time he gets closer to Sirius thanks to that (and you)
If that doesn’t change and he still joins Voldemort, he’ll leave you a letter before going to the cavern, saying how much he loves you and how much you mean to him
Harry Potter:
Don’t expect any pet names from him, but he might create a nickname with your name (like he calls Ginny ‘Gin’ in the Cursed Child)
His love languages are fierce protectiveness, loyalty and a patience he didn’t knew he had
Has no problem with PDA because he doesn’t care about what other people think
Loves cuddles
Rarely gets mad at you, and feels guilty when he does
Mostly gets mad at you when you hurt yourself (for example during Quidditch) but it's also because he was scared for you
Hot kisses in private
Will be jealous if he sees you with another guy
He’s passionate in a lot of things he does, and it includes you and everything you do
Will fiercely defend you again anyone, can even throw hands
Gets FURIOUS when Umbridge hurts you during detention, and will cuddle you for hours and do everything he can to make the pain disappear
Knows people are mean to you during fifth year because you're dating him and he hates it
During that year the only peace he feels is when he's holding you or when you sleep in his arms (it's also the only time he doesn't get nightmares)
Very supportive
Loves getting you gifts
You make him feel SO happy, he’ll just keep smiling for no reason
Gets more and more clingy with time
Always write to you during the holidays (you always invite him to come to your house)
I'm not sure about sex while you guys are at Hogwarts but he 100% feels lust for you, there will definitely be hot making sessions when you guys are alone in a dark corner of the castle and it often ends up with you against the wall with your legs around his waist while he kisses your neck and caresses your legs
However sometimes he just can't stop himself and will eat you out (even maybe finger you at the same time), and will be proud when you come
Any act of service you do for him means a lot
You're always worried about him when he's at the Dursleys but he reassures you that he's fine
Comes to you in the middle of the night if he has a nightmare and generally comes to you for comfort or to rant
Needs you more than ever after Voldemort comes back and after Sirius’ death
Misses you like crazy during his quest for Horcruxes, and he can’t bear the thought of something happening to you
Might struggle to show it, but he knows and is thankful of how patient and comprehensive you are with him, and that makes him want to be the best boyfriend he can be
Terrified Voldemort might hurt/kill you
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Ok a fic where reader and sylus are at a business meeting, she “offers” herself as payment (maybe as a joke or just to rile sylus idk) and he makes sure to remind her who she belongs to? Please???
Kindred Spirits
Word Count: 5.1k
Tags: sylus x fem!reader, possessiveness, ownership, spanking, hitting, slight blood mention, pet names like kitten & sweetie, creampie, rough sex, crying, slight fluff at the end :3
AN: Anon ur a literal genius. This has Sylus written all over it. Im so happy to be back posting another story for you all! Also happy to announce my masterlist is now complete and can be found in my pinned! Ty all! Enjoy and remember, my asks are open for any character, Sylus is just my husband LOL. Remember to read my pinned before requesting please! This is a bit tamer than my other stories but trust I am cooking up some deviant content as soon as I publish this one :33
“Finally…”
You nearly collapse near your front door. A whole week of your life. Gone. To what you ask? Dealing with wanderers on a special aid mission. Sure sure, the job paid well but it had been weeks since your last off day. Every time it seemed like one was around the corner here they go with some emergency call and a spill about how some rich politician needed help or something.
You were starting to get tired of cleaning up other people’s mistakes.
You fumbled with your keys, fingers numb from the biting cold. The wind whipped around you, making you shiver as you tried to fit the right key into the lock. Your breath came out in visible puffs, and you could feel the frustration building with each failed attempt. Finally, with a relieved sigh, you heard the click of the lock turning.
The still warm air is such a welcoming contrast to the wind and biting cold outside. You quickly shut your door and melt to the floor, your feet aching with relief as the pressure you had been putting on them subsided. Peace at last. Time for a hot shower an-
Your peace was cut short with the distinct tone of your phone ringing. And not just any ring tone. The one you had set specifically for a certain white haired man that only ever brought trouble. Wondering if you should even pick up, you bring the phone to your face, knowing that you were going to answer regardless.
“Sylus…I’m really tired. Can we talk lat-"
“Long time no see kitten. You should stop by for a bit, hm?”
You roll your eyes, suppressing the urge to scoff out loud. Arrogant prick, you think, irritated by his inability to let you finish a sentence without interrupting. How did he even know you were home now?
You sigh deeply, feeling the tension building, and rub your temples to alleviate the mounting frustration. No, you tell yourself firmly. You wouldn’t put up with this today. Maybe another day, but definitely not today.
"Actually, no. I just returned from a week-long aid mission. Not today," you say firmly, aiming to be clear and resolute in your decision to stay put. Sylus however, seems to sense the cracks in your resolve and only responds with a chuckle.
“I want to see you. I’ll have Luke and Kieran come get you since you’re so tired”.
“Hu-”
“See you soon. They’re en route. Ciao”
The phone clicks, signaling the end of the call. For whatever reason, your ever growing frustration simply dissipates, defeat taking its place. You should be used to this by now. Sylus always gets what he wants. And you always let him. It goes without saying that it’s the same way for you as well. At least, Sylus always gives you what you want if it doesn’t interfere with his need to lay his eyes on you at least once in awhile. He knew that you wouldn’t push this though. You both knew.
Deep down, you wanted to see him too.
You asked Luke and Kieran to wait outside for a bit while you took a brisk shower and freshened up. Those two had always been very patient and understanding. You felt bad “bossing” them around, and yet they always insisted that you could. Though Luke had admitted on one occasion that he never expected to be helping a girl find hair ties or carrying shopping bags while working for Onychinus.
The statement had made you laugh a bit. You finally finish dressing in some plain sweats and rush to the car. Luke and Kieran are waiting outside of a dark colored jeep. Not too flashy as to not draw attention, but it was still clearly very expensive.
“Actually miss, Boss wanted you to wear these” Luke says, holding out an expensive looking dress. Clearly designed by hand and tailored to your measurements. Kieran follows his lead, holding out a box containing a pair of earrings and a lavish looking necklace.
“Huh? What’s this for? A date?”
“Business. That’s all he said” Kieran chimed in. Although you couldn’t see their faces, you knew they had no reason to lie to you about this.
“Ah. Dragging me into more trouble. Got it”.
When the three of you finally arrived to the location, the sun had already set for the day. You darted your eyes back and forth, squinting above at the bright neon sign of the establishment.
“We’re not going to the N109 Zone? This is a nightclub…” you mutter, taken aback by the unfamiliar surroundings. When did this even get here? There were plenty of clubs in Linkon of course, but you never seemed to notice this one. Not that you knew much about the night life to begin with. People were lined up at the entrance, chatting, fixing makeup, or texting.
“Boss wants you here. He’s waiting inside. Enjoy your time miss” Luke said, amusement written all over his tone. He gets out of the passenger seat to open the door and lend you a hand. You rolled your eyes, not wanting to appear shaken up by the situation. Sylus was always full of surprises. This was no different, act confident.
At least, that’s what you tried to tell yourself. After getting almost immediate entrance into the club with just a simple nod from the guard, you enter. As you walk inside the club, Luke and Kieran not far behind you, you can tell this was no ordinary night club. Everyone here was dressed lavishly and sharp, clearly possessing power and ulterior motives. A few eyes lay on you as you walk in, and you feel your hands start to sweat.
Keep cool. This isn’t the first time you’ve been around high ranking individuals. This is probably some test he set up…right? Or some kind of joke to get a laugh?
Clenching your fists, your eyes dart and search for a tall figure with white hair, feeling more nervous by the second that you don’t see him. You’re about to turn around and ask one of the twins, but at last your gaze settles on him, sipping on a glass of Gin Fizz. He’s sitting in a velvety booth by himself, people watching. He’s wearing his black button up with red streaks across it, coat hanging on his shoulders per usual. As if he felt you staring, his eyes shift to meet yours. He sets down his glass, giving you you a small smirk. His eyes narrow, sending a very clear message.
Come here.
As if you were suddenly possessed, your feet seem to start moving on their own. You weren’t sure if you were relieved to see him or if it was just the relief of seeing a familiar face in an unfamiliar place. You take a few deep breaths as you approach, readying your witful replies to any of his attempts to make fun of you. Without making any sound or looking at him, you quietly slide in next to him.
“You look nice. Seems I was right about this look on you” Sylus says, taking another sip of his drink. His eyes wander up and down behind the glass, seemingly devouring you. You squirm under his gaze.
“Hm. Thanks. This gift is the least you can do after dragging me to do whatever you want on a whim once again” you scoff, eyeing the full glass that sits on the table. It’s another glass of Gin Fizz, probably for Sylus. There’s three other very empty glasses on the table.
This man can definitely hold his alcohol.
He chuckles, taking a finger and pushing the glass of Gin closer to you.
“Don’t be like that sweetie. Loosen up a bit, you’ll need it”
“For what exactly? Business?” you mock, picking up the Gin. You didn’t exactly like the taste of this particular alcohol of choice but Sylus was right about one thing. Some liquid courage was definitely needed for whatever shenanigans he was dragging you into tonight.
“Yeah. Figured I could use Linkon’s darling Miss Hunter as backup” Sylus chuckles, watching you nearly choke as you take three big gulps of the drink. You squeeze your eyes in disgust as you finish the rest of the glass, shooting a death glare in his direction as you set it down.
“You’re perfectly capable. Don’t mock me Sylus”. You grit your teeth in irritation, almost ready to rip him to shreds with your words. Clearly your tone has no effect on him though, as all you get in return is a soft smile. Sylus places a hand on your upper leg, slowing sliding his fingers under your dress. You gasp, the coldness of his fingers making you twitch a bit. The warmness of your skin mixed with his cold touch makes the sensation feel like icy fire.
“Or what? You’ll use this on me?” he smirks, tugging on the concealed gun strapped under your dress. “I’m all for it honestly”
You slap his hand away, the woozy feeling from the Gin Fizz starting to kick in. What was in this drink? It was strong. Too strong.
“Pervert. Always touching me, making fun of me. Maybe I will shoot you. Again.” you growl, turning your head away from him. You attempt to scoot away as well, but are met with a strong grip around your waist as you’re pulled into closer proximity with him. Sylus grabs your chin and lifts it towards his face. He leans down a bit, the smell of alcohol and his bourbon vanilla cologne making you feel even more dizzy.
“You can put your claws away now kitten. Don’t make me have to melt your little tantrum away” he coos, gently caressing your face with his thumb.
You stare at him, dumbfounded, desperately searching your sluggish brain for a comeback but finding yourself too flustered to form any words. The look in Sylus’s eyes shifts from a smug expression to a much softer, almost tender gaze, and you wonder what his next move will be. Your face starts to burn as you feel heat rising in your core, your heart pounding in your chest. Panic sets in as you consider the possibilities, your mind racing with the fear of what might come next.
Don’t tell me he’s going to…?!
"You're so...confusing" you mutter.
You’re just about to try and squirm from his grip, when Luke and Kieran tap on the table, catching yalls attention.
“Boss man, Val says he’s ready for ya” Luke says, nonchalantly ignoring the scene that’s displayed in front of him. Sylus releases your face, his face going serious again. He gets up, reaching out a hand to help you out of the booth.
“Time for business, sweetie”
You’re guided by the twins and Sylus past the sweaty bodies on the dance floor to a somewhat hidden room located downstairs. The area the stairs led to was blocked off by a singular rope, clearly only meant for a select crowd.
In the room there’s a long black table, cards and chips all over it. There’s a few prominent figures already seated, along with a few bodyguards standing near the door. Sylus pulls a seat out for you, before taking his own. You study the figure that’s sitting at the head of the table as you sit. He’s short, a bit chubby, dark hair, smoking a cigar. A scar sits angrily on his forehead and you wonder what kinda grudges led to such an injury. He notices you looking at him, and gives you a devilish grin. Some of his teeth are crooked or missing.
All that money and he can't fix his smile?
You shudder. Sylus looks over at you, and back to the man at the head of the table. He’s reading you, clearly sensing your nervousness. He says nothing, simply reaching a hand over to rest on your thigh.
“Was starting to think you were going to keep me waiting Sylus. Seems you didn’t run after all” he laughs, wheezing a bit as he takes another puff of his cigar. You wrinkle your nose a bit as the potent smell hits your senses.
“I couldn’t turn down a game of cards with my dear old friend” Sylus says, irritation coating the last word. “Let’s keep things civil this time, hm Valentino?”
Valentino bursts into laughter, clearly amused. Despite his laughter, you couldn’t ignore the murderous tension in the air. Something tells you this isn’t any regular game of cards. You gulp, trying to force yourself to look at everyone at the table and smile.
“Well hello little lady. Sylus, you didn’t tell me you kept such gorgeous company…” Val says, his eyes snaking all over your body. You feel Sylus squeeze your thigh, clearly irritated. He pulls out a coin from his coat pocket, seemingly trying to channel his frustrations into something else.
“You know I’m not really the type to share, Val. She’s all mine. Down to every single strand of hair”. Sylus ends, catching the coin and shooting a glare in the man’s direction. It was plain, but conveyed a message very well.
You feel your palms start to sweat. Was he being serious right now?? You side eye him, trying to piece out whether or not this was some kind of facade you’re supposed to play into. Valentino clearly takes Sylus’s words as a challenge.
“I’ll give you twenty million for her. Maybe fifty million if you make her give us a little strip show. What do ya say? She looks so soft. Probably makes cute noises too…~” he chuckles, likely enjoying the look of surprise that washes across your face.
Sylus remains quiet, his face unmoving, frozen in a pissed glare. You don’t know if it was the alcohol you drank earlier, or if it was some inkling of an attempt to dissipate the tension, but you clear your throat and begin to speak.
“Well Sylus? You can share can’t you? It’s quite the generous offer Mr. Valentino. I’m quite flattered actually.” you express, putting on your best smug look. Sylus stiffens, a somewhat shocked expression washing over him. Valentino erupts into yet another fit of laughter, seemingly unable to contain himself. Turning to look back at Sylus, you see it in his face briefly. An uncaged look of rage before it quickly dissipates.
Shit. Shouldn’t have said that.
Far too late to stop now though.
“You heard the lady Sylus. Why don’t you try sharing just this once? What I would give to taste that sweet little body of he-”
Sylus slams a revolver on the table, then calmly starts picking up cards from the deck.
"I'd suggest you stop talking and start playing the game, Mr. Valentino," Sylus snarls, his words dripping with venom. The fury in his voice is palpable, and it's clear he's reached the end of his patience.
You give Val a sly look, feigning pity. “Ah, sorry Valentino. Seems this one can’t quite let me go yet”. You don’t know what you were trying to achieve, but it’s certainly not working to dissipate any tension. Val doesn’t respond to you though, all his focus on Sylus now.
“My dear friend. You should know me by now. There’s something I’m much more interested in now than some money. Now I want the girl, or nothing”.
Valentino wears a shit eating grin on his face, soaking in the fact that he thinks he’s gained some control of the situation, unaffected by the gun on the table. Sylus simply sighs, rubbing his fingers against the temple of his forehead.
“I see where this is going then”.
You barely process what’s happening before everything and everyone starts moving. As soon as Sylus begins to stand, Valentinos guards start shooting. Sylus wastes no time flipping the large table, sending the cards and game chips flying everywhere. You yelp as he yanks you towards him using his body and the table to shield the oncoming attack of bullets. You hear Luke and Kieran joining in the frenzy, yelling obscenities as they begin shooting their own hidden weapons.
You swiftly reach for the weapon concealed beneath your dress, your fingers brushing against the cool metal as you draw it out. Turning to face Sylus, you ready yourself for his instructions, your body tense with anticipation. Instead of giving you orders, he locks eyes with you, his gaze piercing through you with an intensity that feels like it's reaching into your very soul. The silence is heavy, charged with unspoken tension as bullets whip past the both of you, and you can feel your heartbeat quicken in response.
“I need you alive for what’s coming sweetie. Pay attention, stay close”
You blink. Twice. Unable to process his words before he yanks you both up, one hand using his evol to send the table crashing into several bodyguards. The four of you fight your way through the onslaught of people coming into the door, before eventually dashing up the stairs. People are running in all directions, seemingly caught up in the chaos of everything. You all manage to make it out the door and into the brisk cold air, the twins quickly hopping into the car to whisk you away.
“Go on, I’ll catch up soon” Sylus states, hurriedly pushing you into the car and slamming the door before you could protest. He signals Kieran to drive off, and that he does.
“He’s…going to level the building. Isn’t he?” you sigh, sighing at the fact that Sylus seemed to conveniently forget that this was in fact not the lawless land of the N109 Zone. No doubt the Hunter’s Association would have to investigate for potential wanderer activity, and that would be a lot of paperwork.
"It's fine. He owned that place anyway. He'll just build another," Luke says, his voice calm and unbothered. Just as the words leave his mouth, a deafening boom erupts behind the car, shaking the ground beneath yall. The explosion's shockwave rattles the windows, and the sky lights up with a fiery glow, cutting off Luke's next sentence mid-breath.
You groan.
The twins did drive you to the N109 this time, swiftly helping you out the car and into Sylus’s private villa. When you entered the front door, a nightgown and lacy underwear were laid neatly out for you in his room, your arrival clearly anticipated.
It wasn’t more than an hour before Sylus waltzed in the front door, eyeing your slouching figure on the couch. You sit up as soon as you see him, still somewhat annoyed.
“What took you so damn long? Also do you have to level every building you come across?” you spat, glaring at him. He says nothing though, walking straight past you and into his room.
“Huh? Sylus?? What the hell…”
Not liking the feeling of being ignored, you hurriedly chased after him. You had never really been uncomfortable barging into his room. You had done it plenty of times at this point, the first time being when he had challenged you to steal the brooch from him. No point in being shy now. He’s fumbling with something in his drawer when you reach up to tap his shoulder.
“Sylus! Don’t ignore me, I know you ca-”
He swiftly turns around, grabbing your wrist before you can touch him. His gaze is unreadable, cold even. You start to sweat, trying to take your arm back. But he only squeezes tighter.
"I was hoping you'd leave me be so I could calm down. But of course you're as petulant as ever" he says.
"Let go! What's wrong with you!?" You attempt to remove his hand from your wrist but he doesn't budge.
“Go to the bed. Place your hands on it” he says, face unchanging.
“Huh??”
“I don’t like to repeat myself”.
You freeze for only a moment before quickly moving to the bed. You meticulously put your hands where instructed, something deep in your core telling you that it’s likely best to listen for now. However, you can’t help to look over your should to quip at Sylus. You’re slightly bent at an angle, trying your best to keep your balance.
“What’s this about? I’m not that upset that you reduced the building to rubble”
Sylus snakes his way behind you, quietly, as if thinking of what to say. He reaches out a hand, grabbing the ends of your nightgown and moving the soft fabric around in his fingers. You feel the heat rise to your face, the skin of your ass feeling a slight gush of cold air.
“You like playing games with me, don’t you? Testing me” he says coldly, fingers trailing up the back of your legs slowly. You shiver, attempting to squirm away. His evol appears around you, its tight grip making you cry out.
Oh. This was about that.
“Huh?? No, I was just playing along. Just friendly banter yknow?” you say, voice wavering. You’ve clearly pissed him off. A part of you knows it’s a slight lie. You didn’t want to admit it out loud but it was kind of amusing to see Sylus get so riled up over something. Over you especially. But you hadn’t exactly done it fully on purpose. It was the alcohol.
But you knew he wasn’t buying it, as observant as he was.
“Sure. You were just pretending to act like a stray kitten trying to find a new owner?” he smirks, his fingers beginning to trace circles over the cloth of your panties. You let out a small whine, his touch just barely grazing your already wet cunt.
“Owner? I don’t belong to you. Or anyone” you scoff, the resolve in your voice wavering with every little circle he completes on your skin. You almost whine in disappointment when he pulls away.
“And yet…” Sylus trails off, leaving you with aching curiosity before you’re met with stinging pain on your ass. You cry out, unable to move with his evol still snaked around you. “You did exactly what I told you to do just now, wear the clothes I leave out for you, and practically melt everytime I even barely touch you”.
“Sylus?! What the hell was that…?!” you exclaim, trying your hardest to process his words and the situation at hand. He doesn’t respond, proceeding to gently caress the spot where he smacked you. The stinging pain gently eases away, and you feel yourself relaxing with his touch once again. He once again trails his fingers down to your clothed pussy, rubbing slow and meticulous circles around it. You start to whine, attempting to push yourself into his fingers for more friction. He pulls his hand away, making a disapproving sigh.
“Acting like you’re in heat per usual” he chuckles, watching as you wiggle around under the grip of his evol. “This is a punishment”.
“For what? Cause I let some sick and ugly looking crime boss think he had a chance with me?”
Sylus wastes no time bringing his hand to your ass again, earning another painful whine out of you. You feel tears forming in your eyes that you can’t wipe away. He’s certainly not holding back his strength, and yet you know this isn’t even a third of the force he could use on you.
“For entertaining him” he says plainly.
Another smack.
“Another for stupidly handing over your life, body and soul for a measly twenty million”
An even harder hit, this one fueled by rage.
“And lastly…”
You nearly choke as he delivers the final blow, your ass definitely bruising by now. Sylus offers no comfort this time, instead leaning down next to your crying face, breath hot against your ear.
“For forgetting that you belong to me, just as much as I belong to you. Kindred spirits remember?”
You have no chance to respond before he’s flipping you on your back, your nightgown flying up to reveal your wet panties.
“I-im sorry, Sy” you choke, tears blurring your vision.
“Show me then, sweetie. Spread your legs. Wide” he instructs, reaching up to brush your tears away. This isn’t done lovingly, more like calculated and cold.
This is far from over.
You silently but shakingly open your legs, your ass still painfully aching from his assault. You’re surprised when he doesn’t rip your underwear in two, choosing to rather peel them off your legs slowly. You notice the hunger in his eyes as he does so, as if savoring the view of your cunt at his fingertips. A small drop of arousal pools down your ass, and Sylus scoops it up with one finger.
You watch as he puts his finger in his mouth, savoring the drop of you with swiftness. His piercing gaze never leaves yours though, and you want to suddenly run away and hide. This is beyond thrilling, but you try your best to remain as still as possible, scared that he’ll think you’re enjoying it too much and punish you accordingly.
You suddenly can’t take the tension anymore, and close your eyes. You hear the sound of Sylus removing his belt from its loops, then the loud clang as it hits the floor. You feel the bed shift as he lowers himself over you, his face stopping just inches over yours, indicated by the sudden feel and warmth of his breath. He grabs your face in his hand and squeezes your jaw. Hard.
“Look at me kitten” he commands, his tone filled with unkempt rage and anger. Your eyes fly open, terrified.
“I’m the only one that will ever taste you. Repeat it” he says. Before you can get a word out, he’s pushing the fat tip of his cock in your entrance. You cry out in agony, nowhere near ready to have been penetrated. But he doesn’t stop filling you.
“Repeat it. Or I’ll hit you again. Do you want that?”
“You’re t-the…ah!” you whine, his cock halfway inside you at this point. Your poor cunt feels like it’s being impaled, splitting pain soaring through your core.
“Try again”
You let out a whimper, trying your best to push through the pain and put thoughts into words.
“You’re the oh-only one that gets to taste me” you choke out, voice wavering and your eyes teary. Sylus gives a hard thrust, pushing the rest of his length inside you. You cry out again, feeling like you’re on the verge of passing out. Sylus seems unmoved by your outbursts though.
“And?”
You stare at him, barely able to see his face through the tears. What? What does he mean and? He didn’t say anything else did he?
“Hu-what?”
You hear him sigh with disapproval, giving you yet another hard thrust. And another. And another. You’re clinging onto his back now, nails digging into his skin as the sound of the bed creaking and your pants fill the room. Blood has probably been drawn on his back, not that he’d even notice. You can hear him grunting in your ear, clearly enjoying the feeling of you tightening around him when you tense from the pain. Although it still hurts, you can feel yourself accumulating to the shape and size of his length, and the pain lessons a bit more with each thrust. He stops once again, tilting your face in his grip.
“What did I say you forgot? Or is this kitten filled with too much cock to think straight now?” he mocks. You can hear the smile on his face despite not being able to see him clearly. Heat creeps up on your cheeks as you wrack your brain for answers.
“I-you…we’re kindred spirits?”
“Before that sweetie”
You blink the tears on your face away, your vision becoming a bit more clear. Although he’s still gazing down at you, his expression is not as angry as before. Seems he’s gotten a bit of his pent up anger out now.
“I belong to you, Sylus” you say, voice small and whiny from crying. That’s definitely what he wanted to hear, as he began to pepper kisses on your neck, on your cheek, and eventually resting on your lips. You greedily return his affection, leaning into this feverish kiss, the both of you only periodically stopping to pant for air between kisses. He stops, resting his forehead with yours, gazing into your eyes once more.
“And I belong to you. What’s mine is yours. All of it”
You don’t get a chance to respond before he’s thrusting again, this time with a continuous and steady pace. You cling onto him, the exchange of flowery words and rigorous thrusting already bringing you on the verge of ecstasy. Sylus already noticed long before you did though, as he brought his hand between the two of you, circling your clit further your stimulation.
“Go ahead, come undone for me” he whispers, voice strained for nearly being at his end too. Your body obeys, unraveling and writhing with pleasure as Sylus continues to pound into you. You ride your orgasm to its end, till the touching of your clit becomes too much and you whine from overstimulation.
“Sylus…!” you moan, and he stops, already at the start of his own climax. You shudder as you feel him spill into you, his seed immediately beginning to pool down your cunt and to your ass. He pulls his heavy cock out of you, a feeling of emptiness taking its place. For a moment nothing is said, just the sound of the both of you catching your breath.
You decide to break the silence.
“Sylus…I’m really sorry” you start, looking up at him. He simply chuckles, placing a kiss on your cheek before getting up to grab a rag from the bathroom.
“You’ve taken your punishment quite well, why are you apologizing again sweetie?” he says from the bathroom, coming back to wipe you clean. You scoff, slightly tensing from the coldness of the cloth.
“Hmph. Fine, I take it back then. I’m holding a grudge anyways for how hard you hit me”
He simply sighs as he finishes wiping you up. “Back with the infamous wit already? Can’t a man catch a break?”
You sit up, feeling emboldened once more.
“Nope. Maybe don’t hit me with the strength of a thousand suns next time and we’ll see”
Sylus tosses the rag in a laundry basket, making his way back to your side. He pulls you into his arms, embracing you in his warmth. You can’t help but smile against his chest.
“Well, good thing I have all night to make it up to you”
You lightly pinch his side, giggling into his embrace. A question crosses your mind.
"Did you mean it Sylus? We belong to each other?"
Sylus took your face in his hand, giving you a slight smile.
"I don't say stuff I don't mean. You know this"
That's the furthest he was willing to explain it. At least for now. Who knows what kind of power trip would ensue if you truly knew how much you had the big bad leader of Onychinus wrapped around your finger.
#umi writes ♡︎#sylus x reader#love and deepspace#sylus#sylus x reader smut#love and deepspace smut#love and deepspace sylus#l&ds smut#lads#lads smut#lads fic#lads scenarios#l&ds sylus#l&ds#love and deep space x reader#l&ds x reader#sylus x reader fic#love and deep space smut#lads sylus
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there is only one sentence you need to know as a manifestor:
the 3D/physical world isn’t real. only the mind is.
disclaimers:
this is slightly rant-y though i don’t attack you, i uplift you
excuse any grammar errors!
credit to all the artists whose art was used!
let’s get into it.
you do not exist/live in the 3D, you simply perceive your own mind and assumptions in three dimensions. the 3D is an illusion. it isn’t real. the phone you’re reading this on, your surroundings, me writing this post, “other” people, they’re not real.
this will literally answer all the questions you have about LOA. examples include:
“what if what i’m doing won’t make anything manifest in the 3D?” then boo-fucking-hoo? it wouldn’t even matter because that’s not where you live. you’re 4-dimensional. if it’s happened in the 4D, it’s fucking happened! put it in your success story list. rejoice now that it’s happened. because it has! the 3D is NOT real, the 4D is so you should be checking the 4D! think about this question: “what if it doesn’t manifest in the 2D (a world of only length and width)?” i bet you’re like “womp womp? the fuck would that have to do with me? i don’t live there!” give that SAME energy to the 3D. you live in the 4D.
“where is it in the 3D?” why do you care? it’s not where you live. CONSCIOUSNESS is the only reality. you heard me. you shouldn’t give a fuck about whether it will manifest in the 3D or not because the 3D doesn’t determine reality, YOU do. why do you want confirmation from an illusion when you can have confirmation from what’s actually real (the mind)?
“but if i stop caring about whether it’ll manifest or not, it might not manifest!” first of all, womp womp then? you don’t live in the 3D. second of all, that’s literally impossible unless you directly/intentionally assume that it’s the case. the 3D literally EXISTS as a reflection/limited perception of the mind. it’s LAW that it will come. and the last time i checked, “i don’t care whether it comes or not” and “it won’t come” are different statements. but what i just find so hilarious about this one specific doubt is that you’ve literally just PROVEN your THOUGHTS create the 3D.
“i can’t manifest abc! it goes against the laws of physics/circumstances etc” lemme just get this straight. the MIND is the only reality yet you are lying and saying it has limits based off of 3D “law”? and the 3D is not real meaning the “laws” of the 3D aren’t either? the 3D doesn’t and will never be able to tell the mind what to do. that being said, you can manifest pissing a million bucks, teleporting into a villa in italy or becoming wanda fucking maximoff and developing superpowers. you can manifest hulk hogan flying across the pacific to your door and proposing to you, hell, you can even manifest BECOMING hulk hogan. you can manifest your SPs buying you three million bentleys then making out with you in each of them. you can manifest going back in time. you. can. manifest. ANYTHING. you. can. manifest. anything. you. can. imagine. you’re OMNIPOTENT.
this one is very interesting cause it’s a response to doubts! “if i keep doubting, it won’t show up in the 3D!” the reason your doubts persist is because your mind thinks they actually mean shit and are an issue worth addressing. so what if it doesn’t show up in the 3D? it’s already happened.
“but what if im one of the odd ones out? what if i can’t manifest?” despite the fact that it’s scientific law, the rebuttal for this doubt is very simple. you wouldn’t be alive lmao. being alive is a constant act of the 3D reflecting your mind, that’s literally its only purpose. it’s an inanimate, mindless, limited perception of your mind that instantly conforms to your beliefs. you are CONSTANTLY manifesting. what you’re doing is just learning how to control WHAT you manifest. (just to set the record straight. this doesn’t mean you are to blame for your problems since you didn’t consciously choose them).
“the 3D isn’t showing me what i want!” well it isn’t real lmao? why the fuck would that matter?
one of the WORST beliefs you can have as a manifestor is that the goal of manifesting is changing the 3D. i know you (probably) came in thinking that but i want you to shed that belief. the 3D is not real. the goal is to get it in the 4D, where you live. when you accomplish that goal, rejoice and move on.
this is why i very, VERY heavily dislike the statement that “an assumption persisted in will harden into fact”. no, an assumption IS a fact. only regarding something as real when it manifests in the 3D (which isn’t real) is fallacious.
“thoughts create reality” i bet you’ve heard this before in this community but i don’t like this either for this simple reason: thoughts (that you accept) ARE reality.
my biggest piece of advice to you as a manifestor is this: realize that the 3D doesn’t mean shit.
when you DO get your manifestation in the 3D, it’s perfectly fine to be happy but don’t jump up and down saying “it’s finally happened (in reality)!”. NO. it happened in reality ages ago, the 3D just caught up.
i’m gonna link some really sexy posts that will help you understand this better. most of these are scientific.
https://www.reddit.com/r/NevilleGoddard/s/AmlHe5oipA (the post is up, i don’t understand why tumblr won’t embed it)
if you liked this post, leave a like, reblog, engage, follow, let me know if this helped 🫶😭
#law of assumption#manifestation#loassumption#loa tumblr#loa blog#neville goddard#dream life#manifesting
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