#3) to tell the following story of what led me to binge watch this show last week

[killjoy-prince]

Happy Sonic Prime Season 2 Day!!

[wordsoncloudnine]

My Queens. 👸

I didn’t know I could be the happiest until I discovered the drag community in the Philippines.

I came to know about drag queens in 2023 but never got the chance to immerse myself in the different shows here and there. I knew they existed and appreciated their art, but I wasn’t really into it back then, until I came across some clips of Drag Race Philippines Season 3.

There’s this undeniable charm in each queen that led me to binge-watch the first few episodes, and I eventually got hooked until the finale. I never thought I’d fall so in love with drag culture, especially here in the Philippines.

I love how each one of them has a unique story to tell. Each of them represents a community, and with their stories, it’s as if I was introduced to another spectrum. As I watched and followed along the journey of the queens, my love for them grew more each day.

I don’t actually know where this is coming from, but I’m just so glad that I got to know their stories through Drag Race Philippines Season 3. This is one of the best highlights of my life that I treasure the most, and I will definitely share it with the generation that comes after me.

Now that Drag Race Philippines Season 3 has come to an end, I hope to be one of the people who strive hard to rally with the queens and create a safe space for all aspiring queens in the future. This doesn’t stop with fangirling over my S3 queens. My love for them extends to all the drag queens in the Philippines. I couldn’t thank God enough for leading me to those few clips of S3.

I am excited to learn more about their community and to be one of the allies in creating a safer space in society.

Oh, what a joy it is to have known these queens and to witness them touch the lives of many.

I love you so much, my queens. 💕

[matan4il]

Idk if you're watching Lone Star but I am LIVID and if you've seen it I'm sure you have very eloquent thoughts??

about the (SPOILER AHEAD)

Nazi bar thing with Owen

Hi lovely! How are you? I’m giving you BIG hugs and I hope you’re taking care of yourself, my darling! *cuddles*

So I tend to binge watch shows. I know, 911 OG is a glaring exception for me (in part so I can write weekly meta posts for everyone interested), but binge watching at the end of a season is what I’ve been doing with LS. For you, however, I went and watched 401.

Well. Yeah, I can’t say that I’m feeling too great about it. As you know, I was already critical of 911 LS’ Jewish representation with TK (and his mom, Gwyn). To me, doing a storyline like this is touching on REALLY sensitive matters, and before you can do that, you should “earn” some credit. Based on seasons 1 through 3, LS has not yet earned that “credit” by showing us it is fully committed to handling these issues with the required care and sensitivity.

On the other hand, I’m also not livid. So, let me try and share my thoughts, in the form of bullet-points to give each one its space, and I hope they can explain where I’m at right now when it comes to this storyline:

First off, it always troubles me when people refer to ‘Nazis’ past 1945. After that point, it is only correct to refer to ex-Nazis or to neo-Nazis. Let me try to explain why this distinction matters. The Nazis might have started as an extremist ideological fringe group, but they rose to be a political party with considerable influence in Germany (responsible for the murder of several individuals and the corruption of German justice even before they came into power). Once they became the ruling party, which then led Germany and used all its resources to launch a world war, occupying as well as collaborating with countless countries, that increased its strength tenfold. They had power the likes of which today’s neo-Nazis never had (and hopefully never will), and they used that power to commit an actual genocide against the Jewish people, as well as persecute and murder members of many other groups. We mustn’t dilute these heinous crimes by conflating the Nazis with today’s neo-Nazis, who are still just a pitiful extremist ideological fringe group (again, hopefully they’ll never rise to be more than that. That’s on us to prevent). And we must also not absolve the neo-Nazis of what it means, that they CHOOSE to follow the ideology which was responsible for those crimes against humanity. Today’s neo-Nazis can’t claim ignorance about the meaning of this ideology, not when its history is so well recorded. The fact that 911 LS is referring to these guys as ‘Nazis’ rather than ‘neo-Nazis’ is already a bit troubling to me.

Another thing is the humorous reveal. TBH, I’m not bothered by the fact that Owen rode with these guys for a week without realizing they’re neo-Nazis. It does ring true to the way such groups indoctrinate new members, which is indeed gradual. If anything, it’s the sudden and complete reveal that they’re neo-Nazis which rings false. They would not have sprung that out of nowhere on a potential new recruit. It’s done this way to bring humor into the situation, which is 911 LS’ way of telling stories, but this is just too serious of a matter, which means once again the credit to use humor here has to be earned IMO. First show us that you’re not taking this lightly, that you are integrating this storyline because you actually care about things like the current rise in antisemitism in the US, and only then do you get to inject humor into it. The fact that this was not a throwaway joke, the fact that they will develop it into a whole storyline where they might yet show us that they are taking this seriously, is the main reason why I’m not livid right now. But it doesn’t mean that this is okay, it just means that I’m reserving judgment until we get the whole storyline and have a better, fuller idea of how they’re treating it.

One of the reasons why I’m giving 911 LS credit that it might still do this storyline justice is because I know that Rob Lowe is married to a Jewish woman, and their kids are, in terms of ancestry, half-Jewish (and in terms of Halacha, the Jewish law, they’re Jewish. Period). One of those kids actually works (I’m assuming he’s on board for s4 as he was for seasons 1 - 3) as a scriptwriter for 911 LS. Even just based on Rob’s involvement as a producer for the show, and assuming he cares about this issue as a man who’s married to a Jewish woman and raising Jewish kids, I’m willing to assume the intention was good. It doesn’t necessarily mean they’ll do this subject justice, but I am willing to believe they brought it up because it is something that does bother them.

Speaking of doing this right, Owen is actually not a likely candidate for this neo-Nazi group. I’m not saying it’s impossible, there are always exceptions, but such groups usually prey on people who are young and disenfranchised, feeling cast out and unwanted by their own societies. Young people who are likely to be patriotic towards their country, but angry towards its chosen government, which they blame for their own failures. Owen is older, less likely to be easily malleable to their ideology, he’s successful in his profession, and while as a firefighter he can be assumed to be patriotic, they have no indication that he harbors any animosity towards the American government. If 911 LS was gonna tell this story, it has no way of really doing this one right, ‘coz none of the 126 members is a likely candidate for a neo-Nazi gang. Which makes sense, that’s the cast diversity they were proud of and even integrated into the actual plot in s1, right? I can only once again assume that they took on this storyline because it matters to them, and in spite of not having the right cast to tell the story as it usually unfolds. They can still “fix” that if in the following eps they’ll have someone (like maybe the FBI agent we saw) address the fact that Owen doesn’t fit the usual profile.

Which brings me back to what I said earlier, that to a great degree I feel like my final judgment of this storyline, whether it’ll make me just slightly uncomfortable or downright angry, is something I’ll only be able to properly address once I’ve seen the whole storyline play out.

I hope this helps? I’m here for you either way, you can always talk to me about whatever upsets you, regarding this storyline or anything else. Sending you so much love, hon! xoxox

(more of my posts about Jewish rep can be found here, and my other ask replies here. xoxox)

[x-atlas-x]

Writer Q&A: 1,3, 11 Also, just finished reading 'The Exchanger'. I don't have any way to properly comment on that fic that isn't in the language of keyboard smashing or screams. I'm still waiting for the ball to come out of the sky, and omgwtfasdgfs how can you leave it hanging like that?!?! Please, PLEASE tell me you have a follow-up in mind!!

Hello, my friend!! Thank you so much for the asks <3 This'll probably be a long one, so it's going to be under the cut~

1.) What led you to start writing fan fiction?

I'm not entirely sure. I've been basically writing for my whole life (ever since I was a wee lad) and my roots started in... Sonic fanfiction... Not my proudest moment, but we all have to start somewhere. I was my own worst nightmare when I was merely seven >:)

(I still have the god awful notebook with one of the first fics in it... No, I can't decipher it-)

3.) What experiences/influences have shaped your writing the most?

The last fandom I was in truly brought out my absolute need to be writing constantly and my love for AUs. Upon joining the Yugioh fandom, though, I started to learn how to shape my fanfics and build them up with more emotions (also, I learned how to write smut! which is such a huge accomplishment because I used to never get that far). It's always baffling to look back on my first posted Yugioh fic and my most recent one.

I suppose one experience that I can recall that has truly influenced me and my writing is when I was forced to join a literature contest once and I won first place. It wasn't anything spectacular, but that was the first time that I had officially won something. I forget about it a lot, but I know that gave me an ego/confidence boost of sorts at the time to pursue writing more seriously.

11.) What attracted you to the fandom(s)/media you write in?

Oh, yes, the story about how I accidentally fell into the world of Yugioh. Around the beginning of quarantine, I was still writing for my old fandom. There was an artist on Instagram that did fanart for that fandom, but also did art/talked a lot about Yugioh 5D's. One night, I got bored and I put it on my TV while I was falling asleep. I woke up the next morning, started paying attention, and... Well, here we are.

I replaced 5D's with DM and I actually didn't start properly watching that one until the middle of season 3. I know, I'm insane, but it's difficult for me to get into something from the very beginning. I spent most of quarantine writing fanfiction while binging all of the Yugioh shows (I stopped at VRAINS, but I've watched enough of that to have a vague idea of what happens). And yeah! That's how I got here :)

As for The Exchanger...

I'm so glad you enjoyed it! That ending was definitely something, wasn't it? >:) I do have a follow up floating around in my head, but I'm currently drowning in projects, so... Hopefully I'll be able to get there at some point amongst all of them (and maybe when I get an actual idea of where I'm going with things).

If anyone else would like to send an ask: Questions

[skullsandwineglasses]

Remembrance of Things Past - Eps 1-10 Impression/Rant

Not really a first impressions post since there are only 2 episodes left, but as I’m waiting on the last few episodes, I thought I’d rant a bit about the drama here. 

First of all, I agree with everything that AvenueX said in her review of the first 6 episodes. Her review is what prompted me to start the drama. I needed a realistic slice of life drama to balance out the idol drama that is You Are My Glory (which I’m also waiting on for new episodes), and ROTP seemed to fit bill. ROTP is just so good.

I binged ROTP in 3 days. It could have been 2 days, but I started it at 2am on a Wednesday night, so I didn’t get very far the first night. Each episode is about 75 minutes long, so almost the equivalent of 2 regular lengthed episodes, but not quite. 

I cried during the first two episodes. The character development is just phenomenal. You really feel for Jing Jing’s character even though you’ve only seen her character for an hour. There are little moments throughout the drama that made me tear up too, like when the girls were celebrating Nan Jia jie’s 36th birthday and I got emotional over how close their bond is, or moments when the girls reflected on their aging parents and how we often take our parents for granted. 

Plot pacing and structure

The plot is tight and well-paced, and each girl’s storyline is interwoven well. Sometimes they’d cut between simultaneous scenes between the girls to compare and contrast what they’re each going through. For instance, when Xu Yan is having an argument with her boyfriend, the drama will also cut and flip back and forth to Qiao Xi Chen going through problems at her workplace. When Xu Yan makes up with her boyfriend, the drama cuts to QXC and Nan Jia being romantically pursued by Jian Yi Fan and Ou Yang. It’s interesting to see how their lives mirror and differ from each other. 

Because the storylines between the girls are so interwoven and keep flipping back and forth between each other, it makes it hard to skip scenes because you can’t just skip an entire segment or else you’ll miss something important in all 3 storylines. I can see that this might be a little annoying if you have a preference for one of the girls and want to skip someone else’s storyline. But I actually like seeing all 3 of their stories play out, so I’m not bothered by it. 

Another aspect about the plot’s structure that I appreciate is how they use the mystery behind Jing Jing’s suicide as a throughline for the drama. Up until episode 8ish(?), each episode ends with a question about Jing Jing’s life prior to her suicide and the next episode opens with the girls trying to find an answer or a clue to it. The girls and we the audience learn more and more about Jing Jing with each episode. However, episodes 9 and 10 deviate from the structure a bit and so the drama has recently been less and less focused on Jing Jing’s story, especially after they found out that she had depression. The drama seems to imply that her depression due to the stress of living in Beijing was the main factor that led to her suicide, while the successive unfortunate events that happened on her birthday was the trigger. 

Characters

I like all the main characters in the drama, albeit some a little more than others, which I’ll explain. I think the 3 male love interests are a little too perfect though, and so I guess this slice of life drama is actually a little idealistic after all. 

Xu Yan - My least favourite of the four girls. She’s materialistic, but not as spoiled as I though she would be. But it does annoy me how she keeps picking fights with Shen Zi Chang, when he’s just trying his best. He’s so tolerant and patient with her. He apologizes, they make up, and then the cycle repeats. It’s just a very unhealthy relationship, and I’m tried of seeing them fight and make up. 

EDIT: So, I started writing this review when I had only watched up until episode 9, but now that I’ve finished episode 10, um, wtf?? Xu Yan made a bad choice and got scammed of all her money, her friends try to comfort her, loan her money, and tell her not to repress her emotions like Jing Jing. And then she just lashes out at them saying they have no right to comfort her because they were the ones who caused Jing Jing’s death. Xu Yan starts off blaming QXC for not knowing that Jing Jing had a crush on her boyfriend, and then she blames Nan Jia for being a bad older cousin. She blames both of them for being ignorant of Jing Jing’s depression and only caring about themselves. QXC (rightfully) retorts back than Xu Yan knew all along that Jing Jing had a crush on her boyfriend, and yet Xu Yan never told anyone, so she’s just as guilty as all of them. Honestly, I was sympathetic towards Xu Yan before, but she was just so ungrateful and entitled in that scene. What right does she have pointing fingers and assigning guilt to people? And to weaponize Jing Jing’s death against them? That’s just cruel. The argument between them in that scene at the end of episode 10 just felt so random and out of place. All of a sudden, Xu Yan points out all of these problems she has with QXC and Nan Jia, when all they’ve ever done is pamper her. Also, you can’t blame QXC for dating Lin Rui even if Jing Jing liked him first, and not to mention that QXC wasn’t even aware. QXC might not have even chosen to date Lin Rui if she had known. But it happens all the time between friends where your friend might date someone you like. All’s fair in love and war, and there’s no first come first serve rule when it comes to dating.

Jing Jing - She becomes more complex as you learn more about her. She puts her friends first and is fiercely supportive and protective of them. We get a glimpse of how far she’s willing to go for them she pulls a butcher knife from the kitchen and points it at QXC’s debt collectors in the first episode. Her friends see her as being really open, expressive, and bubbly. She’s the first one they each go to whenever they need help with a problem or want to show off an achievement. But in reality, she’s really secretive. She hides her feelings to keep her friends happy, and when they slowly uncover her secrets, she becomes less and less recognizable to them, as though she’s been living a double life all along. 

At the end of episode 10, Jing Jing is described as the “hole in the tree” that everyone goes to to share their secrets, but they forget that she’s also a person with her own secrets to share, and she’s not just a tree hole to serve others. Can we blame the friends for not paying enough attention to Jing Jing and only using her for emotional support? Yes and no. It’s complicated. We should always do more to try to care for others and to be more attentive to them, but at the same time, it’s impossible to completely know a person. I purposely hide parts of my life from my friends because I don’t want them worrying or judging or commenting. So I would never expect them to be able to figure it out, and neither do I want them to figure it out. I think it’s interesting that the drama is exploring the friends’ self-imposed guilt, but I don’t agree that Xu Yan should be the one to point it out them and to be Jing Jing’s spokesperson. Xu Yan positions herself as Jing Jing’s heroic and righteous advocator, when really Xu Yan is the most problematic person out of the three remaining friends. 

Also, after seeing how the friends interact, they don’t feel narcissistic. Yes, they each readily vent about their problems to each other, but they also ask about the other person. It’s not one-sided. Xu Yan talks about her problems with her boyfriend, but she also asks and cares about what’s happening in QXC’s life and vice versa. Nan Jia is more mature and is busy with her business, but she always takes the time and effort to help her friends. All of their conversations are reciprocal and they are genuinely interested in each other’s lives. So, I don’t think they have a major communication problem or that they don’t care or that they’re ignorant. Which again, makes Xu Yan’s accusations in episode 10 feel even more unfair. 

Ji Nan Jia - Jing Jing’s cousin and also the oldest of the three girls (about a decade older). Sassy, witty, unapologetic, confident. She’s who you’d think of when you imagine a successful, independent, career-driven woman. She’s extremely annoyed by her mother’s nagging to get married. But she herself is trying to figure out whether she actually wants to find someone to settle down with or if she just wants to beat her biological clock and have children while she still can. She’s pursued by Ou Yang, ten years her junior, and he’s absolutely enamoured with her. He seems to be unconditionally in love with her, which is what I meant when I said that the male leads in this drama seem too perfect and idealistic. But I like Ou Yang though. He’s adorable. 

Qiao Xi Chen - The main character of the four main characters. Like Nan Jia, she’s also quite sassy. In some ways, she’s like a younger version of Nan Jia. QXC is also very career driven and competitive. She’s confident and believes in her abilities, but she also gets easily overwhelmed and emotional (like when her stress and nervousness prevented her from being able to give her proposal presentation and she ran out of the room. I’ve definitely felt that way before my committee meetings). QXC is a character you can self-insert as because she represents the everyday employee who struggles with the long commute to work and tries to stand out and make a name for herself in the company. QXC is also extremely paranoid, which is understandable when you’re a woman living alone in the city. I know what it’s like to have to briskly walk home late at night and constantly having to look over your shoulder to make sure no one’s following you, or having to check your hotel room before you change, or having to make it seem like you’re not the only one living in your apartment. QXC is smart, logical, helps people when she can, but is also reasonably selfish when she needs to protect herself, like when her co-workers try to take advantage of her or throw her under the bus. She’s a character everyone can relate to.

She and Jian Yi Fan also make such a cute pairing. I love all their interactions. I love how Jian Yi Fan can’t help but smile when he’s with her, but he tries hard to clamp it down. I love how QXC is aware of her own attraction and easily admits to to Xu Yan that she does have feelings for him instead of beating around the bush. And I especially love the awkward but adorable confession scene in episode 8. Such great banter and play on words (”你是什麼意思” “沒意思” “你對我是不是有意思?”). The drama did a great job of depicting the frustration of trying to guess whether someone likes you when they seem to be sending mixed signals. A lot of dramas that don’t focus on romance seem to do a better job of showing romance than idol dramas that focus on nothing but romance. I grew up with TVB dramas, and in most of them, romance is usually secondary to the main plot, but I always loved the romances in those dramas.

Like Ou Yang, JYF is such an idealistic love interest. He’s so supportive of and attentive to QXC. I haven’t watched too many slice of life dramas, but To Dear Myself and My Best Friend’s Story both had flawed (and sometimes even irredeemable) male love interests. This drama’s rose-coloured glasses definitely reduces the amount of performative angst, but it also makes the drama a little less realistic. The men in Jing Jing’s life aren’t villainized either even when you expected them to be sinister. I think the most antagonistic character is Lin Rui, but even he’s made to be sympathetic. In fact, nearly all the characters in the drama are sympathetic characters because many of the choices they made were forced because of the situation they found themselves in, and what they did was an act of self-preservation. And so, you can’t hate them or blame them. 

Acting and Dialogue

I mean, what’s there to say? The acting and dialogue just sucks you right in. I love it so much. The characters are so animated and charming because of how well the actors delivered their lines. I’m not a mandarin speaker (I’m a cantonese speaker but learned mandarin afterwards), but even I was able to notice the colloquialism and slangs and idiosyncratic ticks in speech that made the dialogue feel so real and alive. The actors had great comedic timing, and when they cried, you could feel how vulnerable they are. 

Lastly, I also like the little “life lessons” they include at the end of the drama where there’d be a voiceover by one of the actresses and they’d muse about life. One of my favourite musings when when they talked about what it means to have a sense of security. For some people, having a sense of security is about having a certain amount of money in your bank account, or having someone waiting for you to come home, but a sense of security isn’t something tangible or physical that you can achieve or possess. It’s a belief. It’s a belief that you’re able to face any problem and that life will go on. It’s a belief that the one that you love will be faithful and supportive. It’s a type of belief that allows you to be confident to face uncertainty. And thus, a sense of security is something that only you can give yourself. I really like that little food for thought because it’s a great reminder to be self-dependent and to not rely on external gratification. Que sera sera. What will be will be. Don’t get too hung over on failure and don’t let stress dominate your life. 

Note: Watching this at the same time as You Are My Glory is extremely humbling. YAMG is an idol drama, and so they make the romance look so easy. Heck, idol dramas make being a protagonist easy. The protagonist is destined to stand out from the crowd. It’s easy to be noticed. It’s easy to cause a change in the status quo. But ROTP is a reminder that we’re all practically nobodies in the big city. It feels impossible to make an impression when there are millions of other people living almost the same life as you are. There’s nothing special about you, and it’s hard to find meaning and purpose. Obviously, the drama shows that even when it feels like you’re trying to swim upstream in a big city, we each have a life worth living. We may feel insignificant in the grand scheme of things, but to our friends and family, we’re their world and they’re ours. I think it was Camus who said that we should find meaning in the face of absurdity. Live in spite of how absurd and meaningless things feels. Anyway, this drama gives you a lot to think about, even though I don’t really like the melodrama they’ve recently added to drag the plot (*cough cough* that explosive argument scene at the end of episode 10 that I keep ranting about). You’d think that a 12-episode drama wouldn’t have filler, and yet here we are. 

[solo-23]

I'd debated about whether or not to post this because it's definitely a rant and there is definitely a lot of negativity, but I need to vent after last night's episode (with some leftover issues from earlier this season, too). If Betty is your favorite and you don't like to read anything negative about her, you will not like this post.

1. The way the voicemail has been blown completely out of proportion by the writers, reviewers, and some shippers is ridiculous. We keep hearing about how it was terrible, emotionally abusive, toxic, and something that Jughead definitely needed to apologize for, but nothing he said was actually out of line. There is absolutely nothing in that voicemail that Betty should have been surprised about, let alone treating it like it somehow turns her into the victim in the fall of Bughead.

It's not surprising that Jughead has now apologized twice for the voicemail, even if he doesn't actually remember all of it, because he knows that it hurt Betty. He can also probably guess what he said because he knows what he feels and how it can be exaggerated when he's feeling depressed or under the influence of drugs and alcohol. Generally if you actually admit what you're thinking or feeling when you know it would hurt someone, you feel bad about it. It doesn't matter if it's true or not, or if you're under the influence. A good person apologizes if they know they hurt someone. Jughead is a good person.

Just a note here, I've seen other people saying that Betty's actions while high should be excused just like people have said Jughead's voicemail should be excused because he was under the influence. Being under the influence DOES NOT excuse the voicemail.

The fact that Betty cheated on Jughead, did continue to sneak around with Archie while debating whether or not she wanted to "officially" pursue him, hid the whole affair until Jughead actually caught on and she had to make up a direct lie to his face or confess, never actually explained anything to Jughead (things like she was the one who stopped the affair, she wanted to stay with Jughead, etc.) even after he asked if they could talk about it, stood him up at Pop's a year later, and then stood him up again at the book release party justify Jughead's voicemail. And he has apologized for it twice.

2. That is why it was so intensely frustrating for Betty to just brush off his apology (again) and then turn the conversation to her, but without actually apologizing for anything. When Jughead mentioned not really being able to remember the voicemail, she could have brought up what bothered her in it so (a) he would know and (b) they could actually discuss the issues, which could have led into Betty actually explaining what happened with the cheating, including how the affair ended, and she could have apologized for that. It still wouldn't have been fully satisfying because Betty never apologizes first for her actions, but it would've been better than nothing. She also could have apologized for standing him up, although at least she explained why she didn't make it to the book release party.

3. However, she still didn't admit to or apologize for giving away Jughead's manuscript. The entire reason Jughead relapsed into drinking and almost plagiarized Cora is because Betty gave Jessica his manuscript. No, Betty does not get credit for "saving" Jughead because she was present when he got a phone call from Samm and admitted that he wasn't the author. She's the reason he was in that position in the first place. Yes, she had been drugged. Yes, Tabitha was present and didn't stop her. No, neither of those things excuse it. It also doesn't excuse her from sharing the voicemail with Tabitha and Jessica.

Why not? She and Tabitha were still shown as functional when all of this happened. Jessica admitted that she drugged them to try to get the manuscript. They were both capable of thinking and arguing. Betty chose to give the manuscript to Jessica. It wasn't until afterward that Betty and Tabitha started being really impacted by the drugs. Jughead's manuscript wasn't Betty's (or Tabitha's) to give away and doing so completely screwed Jughead over.

There are some questions here--did he switch over to his typewriter and that's why there was no backup? did he forget to save a copy on his laptop? did his laptop crash or get lost? who knows, but in the story it doesn't matter. There was one copy and Betty gave it away, placing Jughead in the position of losing his agent or plagiarizing another author.

Also, for playing the voicemail, Jessica had just brought the drugged fries to the table. No one is shown as having felt the effects of the drugs until Tabitha made a comment about being warm after the voicemail is over. Betty had been reluctant to help from the beginning, before Tabitha mentioned the "don't be a Betty" line, and made fairly rude comments about Jughead throughout the episode. I don't think she needs to apologize to Jughead for sharing it, but I also thought that playing the victim and having some people blame it on "being high" was ridiculous.

4. You cannot convince me that Betty cares about Jughead in the slightest when he was telling her he was an alcoholic and he's trying to get better and he's clearly drinking alcohol right in front of her and her response is "I'm an addict, too. I'm addicted to serial killers." She's struggling, yes, and it's good that she's opening up, but if she cared about Jughead at all an appropriate response here would be "So, why are you drinking?" or "are you okay?" Show some sort of concern for someone who is relapsing in front of your face. Jughead does it for Betty when he suggests she should take a break, even though he's in a moral quandary caused by Betty, depressed, and drunk.

Also, no, chasing serial killers is not an addiction in the same way as drugs or alcohol and it's insulting to say they're the same. Chasing serial killers could be described as a compulsion for Betty, or a hyperfixation, but it's not the same. It's difficult, but you can choose to not follow a compulsion without experiencing the often severe physical side effects experienced by actual addicts. I'm glad Betty recognized that she has a problem, but no, that is not an addiction.

5. The entire conversation is extremely awkward. It's clear that it isn't what Jughead had in mind, but his life that he had just been starting to get back together fell apart. He sank to new (or at least different) lows. Betty seemed like she wanted to leave as soon as she got there (understandable given how awkward it was, even secondhand) and disappeared once Jughead was distracted by a phone call. It's understandable, but disappointing. The part that was really frustrating, though, was that after talking to Jughead about how unhealthy her serial killer obsession is and how she's worried about her mom, she still goes out. Alice was passed out on the couch, which Betty paused to acknowledge. That should have been a turning point for Betty and it just wasn't. Screw these writers.

6. I loved that Tabitha and Jughead had mutual apologies, discussed their issues, and genuinely seemed to care about each other. I also loved that Jughead still cares and worries about Betty (frustrating as it is when it seems unreciprocated) because it's so true to Jughead's character.

7. It is absolutely fine and understandable if Betty has moved on from Jughead. She seemed to believe that if he found out about the cheating in their senior year, it would be the end of their relationship. She started shutting him out and trying to move on the next day.

However, as a Jughead fan, it's intensely annoying to see him still struggling with the lack of closure and continuing to have feelings for Betty after all of that. I would have preferred to see either both of them move on, then rediscover each other later (or not, depending on where the show is going), or have Betty be the one who still clearly has feelings for Jughead and have her regret blowing up the relationship.

8. Overall, I hate a lot of what the writers have done this season. I don't particularly like any of the backstories for the characters during the time jump, I don't like each character following a separate plot line(s), the lack of interaction between characters, and how disjointed everything feels.

The mothman plot was interesting, but seems destined for a disappointing end. There have been a lot of missed opportunities to bring storylines together (Jughead went missing while Archie was looking for escaped prisoners, he could have found Jughead; Jughead hitchhiked with a random trucker, even without the trucker attacking him he could have seen clues or found Polly; Sweet Pea or Fangs could have seen Betty playing hooker and organized an intervention instead of having the weird cult plot line; I'm sure there's more). Maybe it'll be better with a binge watch, but I'm having trouble maintaining interest in the final three episodes, let alone rewatching this mess of a season.

BONUS: I was relieved that the Bughead talk did not go with my worst case scenario. Based on the possible B/A return, I was a little bit worried that Jughead would apologize for the voicemail and remember what he said, then talk about how he always knew Betty had feelings for Archie. Betty, who said she'd been "wanting this since high school," would then nod along and say she was sorry for hurting him, but acknowledge those feelings. Then Jughead would ask why they never acted on those feelings after the breakup, Betty would talk about the FWB, and Jughead would go full B/A cheerleader and tell her to give it a chance (like the Pacey and Joey chat about Dawson at Mitch's funeral in Dawson's Creek). I was dreading that possibility and I'm so glad the show didn't go there. I'm sorry if I've given anyone nightmares.

[hockeyboysiguess]

Countdown

a/n: what’s up everyone? i’m new in town because i found one stupid hockey boy which led me to another and you know how it goes. let me know if you want me to continue writing!

warnings: some swearing, a little bit of drinking.

Your feet were killing you, and you’d definitely had a couple more than you set out to have when the night started, but it was New Year’s Eve, you told yourself. It was the kind of night you could have a little too much. You rocked a little forward on your heels, trying to relieve some of the pressure on the arches of your feet, but it threw you off balance. Luckily, Mat was there with a steady arm to keep you to your feet. You could’ve done without the chirping that immediately followed the incident.

“You know, you could just take the shoes off if they’re bothering you that much,” he said, with a laugh edging at each word as he spoke.

“I’ve definitely explained this to you before,” you sighed. “You look at the shoe, you look at your feet, you tell yourself that your shoes and your feet are married tonight and nothing in the world will separate you. You can’t get divorced after two hours, would look bad for my next husband.”

“You are more committed to those shoes than you were with your last boyfriend,” Mat retorts, never the one to stop the banter first.

“He couldn’t support me like these babies can.” You point your toes and jut one foot out for emphasis, “He didn’t make my legs look this killer either.”

Mat rolled his eyes at you and laughed, a constant combination in your friendship that had become one of the most crucial in your life this past year. You’d met him towards the beginning of the year, and you got along instantly due to your identical senses of humor. Your friendship solidified with his willingness to try practically every restaurant in New York City with you and the fact that you always let him be the DJ whenever you were together. You tried to go through the timeline of your friendship, trying to find the moment something shifted and he stopped being your friend Mat and started being the reason you said no to dates with other guys when they approached you and why you refused to let any of you other friends set you up with anyone. You glanced over at the clock to distract yourself from your thoughts, 11:50pm. Ten minutes to midnight.

“Hey, I was just thinking about the day we met,” Mat told you, a smile on his face carrying over to yours as you remembered the first time you met him.

Ten.

- Months ago, you were at a party pretty similar to this where everyone was a little less dressed up and the alcohol was a lot worse. You were standing with two of your friends, debating on if you wanted to stay longer or head out to the bars when a ping pong ball landed in your cup.

“Hey! My buddy needs a partner for pong. Can you play? Doesn’t matter if you’re shit; he’s probably worse.”

You shrugged, said, “Why not?” and stepped up to the table next to him. You set your cup down on the table and turned to your new partner for the evening, “If I have to carry this team, now’s the time to let me know that you’re dead weight.”

His face was a little taken aback for a second, but then a wide smile formed across his face. He nodded softly.

“I like you,” he said. “You’re right, I am totally about to be dead weight. My name’s Mat by the way.”

You introduced yourself to him and proceeded to win the next two rounds of beer pong with Mat making three cups the entire time. You made fun of his accent. He pretended to be upset that you got away with breaking the elbows rule because you had boobs and they distracted Tito, but the distraction was to his advantage so he said he’d let the rule breaking slide as long as you promised to be his pong partner for the night. You agreed to take him on as charity case for the night if he tried a Thai-Greek fusion brunch with you tomorrow morning that none of your other friends we’re willing to go it. He took the deal and your friendship began.

Nine.

“– seasons of How I Met Your Mother? Jesus, is this even going to be worth it?” Mat complained

“Get the popcorn, sit down, and shut up,” you told him. “I cannot believe you haven’t seen this before. It’s a classic.

“Friends is a classic,” he sighs as he sits down on the couch, dropping the popcorn bowl between you. “This is a cheap imitation. Besides, I thought you would hate this. Isn’t Barney like very anti your whole super feminist thing or something and doesn’t Ted just suck?”

“If you don’t realize you have to take everything in this world with a grain of salt yet, then you are beyond help, Barzy.”

You binged it in under three weeks. While you’d lived the last episode premiering live with your family, you didn’t think you’d ever seen anyone as pissed off at the ending of the show than Mat was. Your sides hurt from laughing so much at his insane ranting about how they could have possibly done that to him, with all of the time he invested in this show. He took it personally and swore he’d never watch another episode again. You still couldn’t bring it up without making him start a whole diatribe. It was your party trick together even though Mat wasn’t quite in on the joke.

Eight.

- Days in Spain in June. Mat insisted on you joining him on his post season tour of Europe. By tour he meant never leaving Spain but going on a lot of wine tours and pretending he knew a lot about wine even though he couldn’t tell the difference between a three-hundred-dollar bottle of age merlot and a bottle of Barefoot if his life depended on it.

“Oh, isn’t this a fabulous red vintage?” Mat said to you, doing an impossibly bad British accent in an attempt to sound fancy. “I can taste floral,” he sipped the wine again, smacking his tongue against his lips loudly, “and citrus notes in this one. You’ll quite like it, madam.”

“You’re gonna get us kicked out,” you sang softly to him as you noticed the daggers he was getting from your tour guide.

Mat slung his arm around your shoulders, pulling you in tight to him. You could feel his muscles tense under his thin t-shirt, and your breath caught in your throat. Some part of you had known he was attractive this whole time; you’d just never been forced to pay attention until this exact moment when you were pressed up against him. You pushed the thoughts to a far corner of your mind. This was your friend Mat and you didn’t need anything more than that from him. You didn’t want it, you told yourself.

Seven.

- Seconds left on the clock. You were pretty sure you hadn’t breathed for the last 5 minutes of the game and you were gripping your seat so hard that your knuckles were starting to go numb. The Islanders were down by one going into the last two minutes against Tampa Bay. Tito had scored to create a 3-3 game with just over a minute on the clock to play. You didn’t want this to go into overtime and neither did the guys. They wanted to complete the comeback win here and now.

You watched as Mat shifted the puck side to side on the ice. You saw him glance up at the clock for a brief second, then he looked back towards the net and he saw his shot. He took it without any hesitation. You were on your feet before the puck hit the back of the net. Mat was immediately engulfed by his teammates, swallowed up in a sea of blue and orange jerseys. His games practically gave you a heart attack, but you’d never turn him down if he asked you to come and he asked you to come a lot.

“Hey there, superstar,” you said, the smile in your voice obvious as you met Mat in the tunnel after he’d finished up his interviews and changed.

“Hey there,” he laughed, giving your shoulder a little shove

You looked around as you walked out with him. He was walking you through that final shot, second by second, but you couldn’t focus on his story. You saw the girlfriends, fiancées, and wives of the other players greeting their respective partners and for a split second you let yourself imagine that with Mat. You hadn’t really thought about it before, but as soon as let that wall down and the flood gates opened, and your feelings for Mat hit you square in the stomach. You wanted to be like them, have what they have, and for a split second, you let yourself want that with him. You wanted him to look at you like the other guys looked at their girlfriends and wives.

“Um, hello?” Mat’s large hang waving in front of your face pulled you out of your moment.

“Oh, sorry. Can you start over? I got a little sidetracked.”

“You okay?” he asked, concern coating the words and his brows furrowing.

“Super-duper, superstar. Try me again.”  

Six.

“-Entrées is way too many. Look, I know you’re practically a championship level competitive eater for fun, but this feels like an exercise of your skills we don’t need to practice.”

“Two things. One, calling pancakes an entrée is a little much. It’s just pancakes,” you retorted, “and two, they serve six different kinds of pancakes here, so I’m getting six kinds of pancakes. Join me or get the hell out.”

Mat’s nose scrunched up as he laughed at your response. God, you loved his laugh. You loved it most when you were responsible for it, not the girl he met at the bar last night who was definitely responsible for the marks peeking out from under his shirt. Seeing those when he sat down made you felt like all the air had left the room. You shrugged off your thoughts as best as you could. Mat wasn’t yours to be possessive of, but that didn’t make the pit in your stomach settle either. You took a sip of your orange juice as Mat’s laughter slowed.

“God, how do I still think you’re cool even though that was super lame?” he asked you, stealing your water since his hungover self practically chugged his when he arrived

“Barzy, some things in the world are magical and they’re better left unexplored and unexplained.”

“Like all women,” he said proudly, like he’d discovered something profound.

You rolled your eyes at him. Even when he was an idiot, you still wished he was your idiot and not some girl at the bar’s idiot, but you wouldn’t risk this. This friendship was too important to you to jeopardize for your stupid middle school girl pinning. You put your feelings back in the box they’d let themselves out of just as the pancakes arrived.

Five.

“You think you’d had five drinks tonight?” Your eyebrow is arched as you look back at an incredibly hammered Barzy. You knew he had to be at least eight deep, more like ten, but instead you said, “Are you sure it’s five?”

Mat nodded profusely, looking more like his bobblehead then himself in that moment. You turned your palms up at him and shrugged a bit, giving him a look of complete disbelief. He proudly put down his beer and yanked his sleeve up to show you his wrist. On his wrist were five incredibly smudged tally marks of various lengths. He hadn’t even managed to realize you were supposed to cross the last one across the other four for every set of five, so there were just five incredibly crooked lines drawn on his wrist in Sharpie.

“See? Five tally marks, five drinks,” he told you, like you were the idiot in this situation.

You nodded in fake understanding as an incredible drunk Mat reached for you. He was significantly touchier with you when he was drunk, his large hands always finding your skin and making a series of thoughts you shouldn’t have run through your brain as your heartbeat picked up in your chest. His hands rested on your upper arms this time as he lined himself up with you, forcing you to make eye contact.

“I’m fine. Don’t you worry about ol’ Barzy here,” he slurred.

“You’re twenty-two,” you laughed. “Hardly makes you an old man, my friend. Come on, I called an Uber. Let’s go.”

You took on of his hands from your arm and held it, dragging him slowly out of the party. He had the attention span of a golden retriever puppy when he was drunk, so it was a good thing you had some practice with this and started your journey to the car ten minutes before your Uber was supposed to arrive. By the time you made it outside, it was already waiting for you. You gave him one small shove and he practically fell right into the car.

“You know,” Mat told you as the car started to roll away from the party, “you’re a really good friend, ya know.”  

You smiled at him but turned your face away quickly as you felt the tears start to sting in your eyes. Maybe it’s the few drinks you’d had yourself, but Mat calling you a good friend was definitely supposed to feel good, but all it was make your heart clench inside your chest. It confirmed everything you were feeling. You and Mat were friends, good to great friends even, but that’s how he saw you, his friend. You never wanted to be the kind of person that complained about someone not liking them back, but you finally understood where everyone else was coming from. This feeling was awful in a way you couldn’t quite describe. It was like a hand had reached into you, found the place where your feelings for Mat where, and squeezed hard, except that hand wasn’t actually all too careful to target that one spot and instead squeezed everything inside your chest until you could barely catch your breath and the tears were rolling down your cheeks. Thank god that Mat had way more than five drinks and was already asleep against the opposite window because you couldn’t keep it together the entire ride home.

Four.

“You really want four dogs at once?” The disagreement coated Mat’s voice. “That’s a lot of dogs at once. I think you need to reconsider this part of your life plan.”

“Four is a very reasonable number,” you replied, not even bothering to look up from your phone. “And this is my twenty-year plan here, Mat, not yours. You don’t get a say.”

“I’m your best friend. I deserve a say here if I think you’re going to screw up part of your life,” he countered. “You’re going to be beholden to these creatures. And you’re gonna have four of them! They’re going to need you constantly. You’re not going to have time for anything else.”

“I do plan on like, having someone around at some point,” you reminded him. “Step nine of this plan was to find that man, finally, and one of the key criteria is that is likes dogs, so he’ll help share the workload.”

“And then you really only have two dogs,” Mat mumbles under his breath as he start to nod in understanding. “Okay, okay, I concede. You’re right, four is the correct number of dogs.”

You laughed in response to his agreement, “Now I’ve just got to find a man and convince him like I convinced you.”

“Took you all of a minute to get me on board with your plan here. I’d sign up to co-parent four dogs with you. You’re gonna be a killer pet parent. I’m sure you can get some other schmuck to agree with you. He’s not going to be as hot as me though, so that’s going to be a downgrade for you right there.” You didn’t let his words sink in. You let them flow right out of your head as soon as they came in. It was for the best, you told yourself.

Three.

- Hours into your co-worker’s engagement party and you were about ready to scream. If one more platter of engagement cookies with their initials and faces came past you, you were going to explode. The only reason you’d make it this long was Mat and the fact he tipped the bartender big time when you got your first drink, so he was making you doubles and triples when he was only supposed to pour singles at the open bar.

“This sucks,” you sighed to him, taking a swig of your drink.

“This party is fucking pathetic,” he said to you. “How are people this boring before they’re thirty? I just don’t understand. If I ever get engaged to someone who wants to have cookies with our faces on them at our engagement party, please shoot me.”

“I expect you to do the same if I ever think that’s a good idea,” you laughed as your spoke.

“You know what,” Mat paused only to down the remaining third of his drink in one go, “it’s time to blow this popsicle stand.”

“Jesus, Mat, they haven’t even made a toast yet or anything. We can’t leave yet,” you tried to remind him, even though it was completely half-assed since you might have been more miserable than him.

“Oh, come on, be irresponsible. Let’s go do something actually fun,” Mat said, leaning into you as he spoke. “You’re in a killer dress. You look incredible. There’s this cool bar down the road I’ve been wanting to try, and we’re dressed for the occasion.”

You scrunched up your nose as you thought. You wanted out, but you also really didn’t want to be rude since you’d have to show up to work on Monday regardless. Mat took your drink from you as you thought, taking care of the rest of your glass with ease even though the bottom quarter was definitely straight vodka due to how slow you’d been drinking. He looked at you, his eyes softly begging for you to get the hell out of here with him. You sighed and grabbed one of his hands, making your way towards the back exit. You couldn’t see the smile on his face, but you felt his fingers slide between yours as he gave your hand an appreciative squeeze.

Two.  

- Times that you’ve almost told him how you feel in the last month. The holiday season had you feeling particularly emotional in general due to a combination of Hallmark movies and the holiday parties’ people were having were giving you a few too many opportunities to be drunk around Mat. Drunk you was a little looser lipped than sober you. Both times started and ended the same way.

“Hey, Mat, can I talk to you for a quick sec?”

You placed your hand on his shoulder as he spoke, pulling him slightly so he’d turn to face you. Each time he agreed and followed you away from the crowd, tucked away in a less traffic area of the party.

“What’s up? Are you too drunk? Do you need to head out? I can call an Uber. Or should I call a Lyft?” he asked in rapid succession.

“No, no,” you shook your head. “I, uh, I wanted to tell you something actually.”

“Okay, shoot,” he replied instantly. “You know you can tell me anything.”

Your mouth went dry as the desert and your carefully rehearsed speech dissolved in your mind. You looked at him, his eyes dark as his traced over your face, trying to figure out what could have been important enough for you to pull him away from the party. Your eyes danced across his face, his strong jawline, his kind eyes, his soft lips. You wanted him. You wanted him so badly it hurt, but the idea of losing him from your life kept your mouth shut both times.

“You know what. Actually, it’s nothing. I figured it out myself. Let’s go get another drink.”

One.

You snapped back to the current moment, pulling your head out of the past. You watched the clock turn to 11:59pm.

“Sorry, I zoned out there,” you told him.

“It’s alright. Tito dropped in when you faded off, so no hard feelings,” he laughed as he spoke, “Um, actually, there’s something I’ve been wanting to talk to you about and I guess, why not start the new year off with a bang?”

You took a deep breath in as you looked over Mat’s face curiously. He was nervous. His hands were fidgeting with his cup. He was shuffling from side to side, foot to foot, transferring his weight with each movement. He looked down at the ground, unable to meet your eyes and mumbled something you couldn’t hear. The countdown for the last twenty seconds had already started, so there was too much background noise to catch his words.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t hear you?” You had to shout to make sure he heard you.

“I like you!” he screamed back. “Fuck that, I’m in love you with and I really, really fucking don’t want to see you kiss anyone else at ten seconds because I’m pretty sure it’ll break me at this point.”

Ten. Your mind was racing. Nine. Mat wanted to kiss you. Eight. Mat liked you like you liked him. Seven. No, Mat loved you. Six. He took a step closer to you. Five. He was so nervous, nervous he’d just ruined everything because you still hadn’t said anything. Four. Your feelings burst out from the box you’d put them in, running through your body, making your heart rate kick up in your chest. Three. Mat leaned his face closer to yours. Two. Your eyes locked with his. One. You rocked up on your toes and pressed your lips against his.

His hands found your hips, pulling you desperately closer to him, practically crushing you against his chest, but his lips were soft and gentle against yours. The room exploded into cheers around you, everyone celebrating the ball drop and the new year, but you barely noticed them, until you pulled back from Mat. His eyes scanned your face, trying to figure out exactly what you were feeling.

“I love you too, Mat.”

“Thank God,” he chuckled to himself as he leaned down to kiss you again, “and happy fucking New Year to me.”

[modecaisnow]

Fitness Roommates

**This story contains topics suitable for 18 YEARS OR OLDER! Read at your own digression. This story contains themes of realistic(ish) weight gain (ie. 150 pounds – 800), mentions of challenges being overweight. This story is 3360 words, and 6 pages long, was gonna be part 1+2. This was a story I had saved for a bit. ENJOY!**

[This story follows Tyler and Zach, a dynamic duo of health and fitness. Zach, a bodybuilder with all the know how of exercise, and Tyler, a healthy and fit nutritionist, have teamed up and opened a business together. However, their business has gotten slow and not as many people are getting memberships anymore. As a marketing experiment, Tyler agrees to pack on some weight with the ultimate plan to lose it all following their dieting and exercise plan. But, it turns out gaining weight is a little more enjoyable than Tyler expected.]

Zach and Tyler have been friends for years. They first met in their freshman year of college, and Zach and Tyler were both fitness buffs. Their bodies were toned with dense muscles, but Zach was much larger. Zachary studied Athletic Training and Tyler studied Nutrition over the years. After 4 years of college, they decided to open a gym together and become business partners. Zach would help train people and show them how to exercise, and Tyler would teach them about nutrition. However, a couple of years later things have changed. Zach walked into the living room of their apartment. His face was akin to a greek god – high cheekbones, square jawline, and a strong nose. He was a tall, tan-skinned, with a body covered in rippling muscles. From his thick neck and massive traps to his softball-sized calves, which everyone used to tease him and call them ‘steers’, Zach was the personified ideal of fitness. His broad shoulders and flared out lats created the classic ‘V’ shape all bodybuilders aspired to get. His arms were absolutely massive, with cannonball-sized biceps, horseshoe triceps, and forearms that were as large as a normal man’s biceps. Zach’s torso and legs were just as impressive. His barrel chest must’ve been 60 inches and was covered in brown hairs. Beneath his meaty pillows that were his pecs was a wall of abs that looked like bricks. A dark trail of hairs led down his carved abs and into his boxers, which were being stretched from both ends. Zach was blessed with large junk in the front and a lot of junk in the trunk. His bubble butt was made of pure steel and bounced along everywhere he walked. Further down were two thick quads with equally powerful hamstrings. Bellow the knees were the most well defined and muscular looking calves anyone has ever seen. Tyler, on the other hand, was not nearly as much of a ‘greek god’ as Zach. He was very toned, but also on the skinny side. His face was square with a pointed chin and a sloped nose. His hair was cut short, and he didn’t have much facial hair. Being a nutritionist, he knew all the ins and outs of healthy eating and dieting. He was part of the reason why Zach looks the way he looks. He kept Zach on his meal plan. Tyler has helped countless gym-goers reach their goals faster and easier with the help of his dieting plans. Tyler looked up at Zach. He stood in his boxers in front of the TV, blocking his view of it. Zach crossed his arms, causing his large slabs of chest meat to squeeze together. Tyler grabbed the remote and turned the TV off. “Is everything okay, man?” Tyler asked. “We have to talk about business.” “What’s up?” “It’s been slow recently-“ “-Yeah-“ “-and I have an idea,” Zach sat down on the brown, cloth couch next to Tyler. Zach widened his eyes and tried to look innocent. “Well, …what’s the idea?” “Well, bro, what if we have an experiment where one of us puts on some weight, and then we both work together to try and get that person back to a healthy weight?” “That might be good, but it might take too long. We need people to join now, not after months of gaining and months of losing weight.” “Well, with our expertise, we’ll be able to lose the weight pretty quickly,” Zach snickered. “Also, I’m sure you know of some quick weight gain techniques.” “I mean…I guess,” We both sat there quietly for a moment. Zach continued to stare deeply into Tyler's eyes. “So…do you want me to put on the weight?” Tyler hesitantly ask. “…Do you mind?” “I mean…I guess…” Zach jumped up. His face brightened up and he fist pumped into the air. The two immediately started to plan out how this would work, and Tyler got to work researching foods and gaining techniques. He started planning out a grocery list filled with unhealthy fats, carbs, protein, sugars, as well as a plan for minimal movement for himself. Zach started to create exercise plans so when Tyler finishes putting on the weight they’ll be all set to take off the pounds. Before starting it all, Tyler stepped up on the scale to take the initial weight. He was 154 pounds. At first, gaining was an awkward feeling. Tyler’s flat abs slowly started to look more and more like a gut. He was continuously shoveling food into his mouth, even while at work. It made it difficult to work with new patients, given that their nutritionist was eating junk food, and had a little bit of a belly while trying to give tips on staying healthy. After explaining the experiment to every single patient, they all seemed to understand. After the first week of constant binging, eating even while Tyler was stuffed in order to expand his tank of a gut, he had managed to pack on 15 pounds. His flat wall of abs had officially become a rounded, flabby belly. When he sat down, it would flop over the waistband of his pants. Tyler’s hips were stretching his pants to their max. The waistband would dig into his hips, and his thighs actually ripped the seams of one of his favorite pair of pants. And still, Tyler continued to gain weight. He added more meals into his daily diet and doubled the serving sizes. Tyler added two snacks between meals, as well as a “weight gain” shake between snacking. All this food, along with his restricted movement, helped him gain weight exponentially. Tyler’s face was looking rounder and fuller. His arms were softer and would stretch the sleeves of his tightening shirts. The once toned chest started to sag down over his belly, which was spilling down lower and lower towards his crotch. Even his pubic area was softer – a layer of fat was forming and starting to creep towards his junk. Everything about Tyler was getting flabbier. This continued for weeks. Tyler had to expand his entire wardrobe. One day, when he went to sit down, his shorts gave in and ripped all the way down his ass cheeks. From that day on, Tyler only wore stretchy pants – no more khakis, or dress pants, just the stretchy kind. His shirts also went from XL to XXL, and then just as quickly to XXXL. Tyler was officially 330 pounds. His chest continued to sag lower and lower as his belly continued to get larger and larger. Tyler had patients who were as large and some who were much, much larger, and they used to tell him what it was like to be big. However, now he lived it. The sagging breasts slid and rolled over his belly, which seemed to weigh him down. As Tyler walked, he needed to lean back a little bit so his substantial belly wouldn’t pull him down to the ground. Even sitting in chairs, which now had to not have armrests so his hips could fit, he needed to slouch and lean back so his belly could spill over his lap. It was quite the feeling. After a while, Tyler started to like it. It felt nice to be big, but he didn’t feel big enough yet. Zach asked him if he was ready to start their little experiment. Tyler told him that he wasn’t ready, and Tyler asked for a couple more weeks – business picked up anyway since it was about a month away from New Years. Tyler continued shoveling fattening treats into his mouth. Serving sizes became even larger, he went from 6 meals a day to 9, and he started doubling the size of the gainer shakes. This was to help break out of his weight plateau. His arms started to feel even heavier, and Tyler’s thighs always brushed against each other. His feet also started to get fatter, to the point where he needed to purchase ‘wide-fit’ shoes. At night, he would slouch on the sofa, which started to feel slightly smaller, and he would balance a 60ounce cup of soda on the crest of his soft belly, and slurp it down. All while lazily watching whatever was on TV. After chugging the entire soda, Tyler would rub his belly to help with all the bubbles. His blubber was warm and malleable. He could no longer see his belly button, or feet as a matter of fact, but Tyler could still poke a finger in the deepening cave that was his belly button. When he waddled onto the scale, it showed he was about 423 pounds. Eating only got easier and easier as the holidays came. Zach and Tyler usually went their separate ways to see their respective families, since Zach’s are out west, and Tyler’s are up north, but this season they had decided to just relax and focus on the experiment. Tyler continued to bloat up and shovel food into his face, and now that holiday cookies were out and on sale, he made it his goal to eat at least 3 boxes of cookies a day. Zach would tease him and say that Tyler surpassed ‘Santa-size,’ and Tyler laughed along with him. Deep down, he was excited to see how far he could push this. Tyler’s neck had officially disappeared into the fat on his shoulders and chins after a couple days of gorging. Actually, his chins were now flopping onto the crest of his flabby chest. Tyler’s moobs hung down, almost as far down as his elbows – not quite, but close. His fat arms started to feel very heavy. Despite always being hungry, after hours of grabbing for food, it started to feel like an arm workout. When sitting down, he would have to spread his legs far apart to give his substantial belly room to flop down. On the topic of his belly, a fold had started to form above his belly button, creating the double-belly look. Tyler’s belly was getting hard to contain in shirts, so instead, he started to get even larger pants to pull the waistband over it. Speaking of, Tyler’s pant sizes went up a lot faster than his shirt sizes did. He needed extra stretchy, 6XL pants in order to try to contain his growing belly. The fat over his junk also grew, making it hard to reach down there, as well as use the bathroom. However, he figured out how to manage in both areas. Tyler started to just sit on the toilet when he needed to pee, and just reach around and push his fat pad down towards the toilet bowl. Tyler also started to sleep on his side at night, it was much more comfortable, and whenever he’d need to shift his belly, Tyler could just dig a finger in his belly button like a hook, and shift it manually. After the holidays went, Tyler stepped on the scale for the first time in a few weeks. He was officially 546 pounds. Zach was proud and impressed. He asked Tyler when he would want to start buying healthy foods and start training. Tyler told him to instead buy a larger scale. Zach looked a little concerned at first, but Tyler explained that in order for them to make a bigger impact, they would need a bigger test subject. Zach eventually agreed and continued to go along with everything. He even did buy a larger scale, one that went up to 850 pounds. At this point, food became really expensive for them to afford on their own. In order to eat a meal every hour, on the hour, the two needed to dip into their company’s profit. It would be fine since it would all work out in the end. Thanks to their excellent accounting skills, Tyler was able to eat as much as he wanted, when he wanted. Tyler truly blew up in size after this. Walking became really difficult…well, if you can call it walking. It was more like a waddle. Tyler mostly spent time sitting on the couch, eating, watching TV, with the occasional trip to the fridge, or to the front door to great the delivery boy. After a while, Zach mentioned it would be best that he didn’t walk too far, so he moved the fridge into the living room, and anything else that was needed, he would get for Tyler. Tyler rarely went to the gym anymore to meet patients in person. Instead, Zach set up an online messaging system for him to reach out to their “premium” customers. That way they wouldn’t be able to be turned off by what a huge blob of lard Tyler was becoming. His ass cheeks started to take up a considerable amount of space not only on the poor little couch but in his bed as well. Tyler was just about as wide as his full-sized mattress, so Zach thought it was best to buy him a larger one. Zach was about to buy a larger sofa too but figured that he didn’t need to since he never really sat on it. Zach was rarely in the living room anyway, unless it was to drop off Tyler’s next heap of food. He was always working or working out. Shirts and pants both struggled to contain all of Tyler. Folds and rolls of flab started to ripple and slide over one another as he walked, hiccupped, or burped. His breasts had become so large that a pillow of flab had connected his moobs to the wings of back flab. This gave Tyler’s arms more support, which made it less work to shovel food into his fattening face since all he needed to do was just bend his elbow. Tyler’s cheeks were very fat and flopped down his face and onto his shoulder flab. Sweat almost constantly dripped down from his brow, and he was almost always out of breath. When Tyler finally stepped on the scale, he was up to 623 pounds. He still shoved on…well, he still shoveled more food in. At this rate, he was just eating one large, nonstop buffet of food a day. Tyler was always ordering pizzas, Chinese takeout, donuts, and delivery from every fast food joint in a 10-mile radius using those new food delivery apps on his phone. Tyler continued to gorge, slurp, and chomp down food for a few more weeks. As it got closer to the end of January, he had officially changed his wardrobe to 12XL shirts, and God only knows how many X’s for his XL sweat pant shorts. It was interesting to wear them because, with each day he grew fatter and fatter, one could see the ends of the drawstrings slowly disappear, as they were pulled deeper into the expanding stretchy waistband. As Tyler’s stomach grew so did his fupa. It became impossible for him to reach even close to his fat pad anymore. Whenever Tyler used the bathroom, it came to the point where he would have to just sit and pray that it went in. His old technique of digging into that deep belly button to shift his mound of a gut had officially been rendered impossible. Tyler couldn’t reach down that far anymore. Tyler sat on the ever-shrinking couch, with his ass cheeks spilling outward on both sides and behind him by a foot, and shoved more food into his deep mouth. His moobs had officially started to hang lower than his elbows, which were now a series of folds of flab. Tyler’s arms were incredibly flabby and even when he raised them over his head, some of the fat would still be weighing down against his torso. That massive belly of his hung down, past his knees as he leaned back. Tyler’s fat feet didn’t fit in normal shoes anymore, and Zach had to measure them to get custom made ones. Tyler was a mound of flab, and he loved every soft, wobbly inch of it. When Zach finally brought the large scale into the living room, Tyler placed his feet down and rose up off the couch. He was officially 710 pounds, and he was not quite done yet though. Tyler had one more goal he wanted to reach– to officially take up all the space on the couch. Zach, after trying to convince him that enough was enough, finally caved in and agreed to help Tyler gain even more weight. To do so, Zach raised the price of their gym membership. He told people it was for “marketing purposes,” and most people thought it was a good idea. Little did they know, it was to stuff Tyler’s fat face with food. It only took a couple weeks before he met that goal. It was hard to increase the frequency of Tyler’s feedings, so instead, he increased the amount he stuffed in at one time. Since his cheeks had bloated up, Tyler found there was more room in his mouth to hold food. As a result, he ate multiple pizza slices at once, instead of one at a time. He also would dump food in by the containers. This included containers of french fries, chicken nuggets, candy, Twinkies, devil dogs, breadsticks, bowls of pasta, you name it – Tyler just dumped it in. It must’ve been the sight to see. His downstairs neighbors hated it though. They had started to leave complaints about an “elephant” walking around, making their ceiling rattle. Tyler used that as more fuel to his fire. He continued to stomp around his apartment like the whale of a man he was, in order to get to his next source of food. The ground would groan and the couch would creak with every little shift of motion. Tyler’s folds and rolls of flab rippled and jiggled as he chewed, burped, hiccupped, scratched, pretty much any type of movement caused him to undulate like a waterbed. Tyler’s arms were extremely heavy and tremendously difficult to move. However, his insatiable desire to eat and feast gave him all the strength Tyler needed. As his hips started to finally touch the armrests of the couch, he called out for Zach. Zach was thrilled. Not only for Tyler, but also for the publicity this would get the two of them and their business. Tyler couldn’t help but smile and think about how much larger he could get. To celebrate, Zach went all out and hired caterers for the evening. That night, Tyler went all in on the food. The caterers pulled in carts, and tables of food, and set them up all around Tyler. They all circled around him, and he would eat from whichever one was in front of his fat mountain range of a body. As Tyler finished off one table, they wheeled the emptied table away, and immediately wheeled in the next one. He just ate and ate and ate all evening, until there was absolutely nothing left. Tyler probably could’ve eaten a little bit more, but his arms were incredibly tired. As the caterers all funneled out of their place, Tyler’s stomach gurgled and growled for more. He rubbed and pat his fat sides with his hands sending tiny ripples reverberating through his gelatinous form. Tyler leaned forward and moaned as he felt his heavy love handles slide against the armrests of the couch. His folds all glided against each other, and the two massive ass cheeks seemed to rise up out of the deep crater they formed in the cushions. He was massive. Zach quickly grabbed the massive scale and placed it right under Tyler’s fat feet. His massive thighs made it hard to keep his feet close enough to stand on the scale. Zach grabbed Tyler’s fat fingers and pulled him up onto his feet. Tyler’s bulky flab slid off of the couch and flopped downward. As he stood up, the scale buzzed. “What…does it…say?” Tyler huffed, out of breath from standing. “It says ‘Error.’ Damn…” Zach muttered and smiled. “What’s the…weight limit?” He wiped the sweat from his brow. “850 Pounds.” Tyler was massive…and he loved it… -THE END-

[scandeniall]

Playing Games

Pairing: Iwaizumi x Reader, mention of akaashi x reader

Request from @mel-melona: hi! I saw that you opened song requests and thought I’d drop one here if you’ve got time. So here’s the vibe, Playing Games by Anna of the North 

wc: 1642

summary: A story in which you and iwaizumi break eachother’s hearts again and again.

Breaking your own heart. It was something Iwaizumi never considered. Throughout the years he’d thought heartbreak was at the hands of others. But, to an extent, he was right. As he scrolled his instagram a simple picture completely shattered his own heart. You had been seated on the lap of none other than ex fukurodani setter, Akaashi Keiji. What stood out even more was the way your hand extended to show the shiny diamond resting on your ring finger You were officially gone, and it was all his fault.

“Let's get married.” It was the first thing you’d ever said to him. You guys were 8 years old. The way You’d ran up to him at recess caught him off guard. The flowers held tight between your fingers couldn't have been for him. The dirt staining your outfit was an indication that you’d just picked the flowers. “No.” It was the first thing he ever said to you. The way your eyes filled with tears made the young boy uncomfortable. However, before he could apologize, or cry because you were crying a voice interrupted. “Iwa-chan, you made them cry.” That was how you wound your way into Iwaizumi’s life, and the first time he broke your heart.  

----

The sun had started to set when the three of you started to make your way home. You stayed after school to watch the practice of Kitagawa Daiichi’s boys volleyball team. Your friends had made the team with ease years ago and as the three of you were almost with junior high you took every chance you could to see your boys play. “You didn’t have to wait on us you know.” You only shrugged. “I like watching you play Iwa. You're really cool” Had the golden hour sun not been illuminating you guys, you might’ve noticed the redness that crept up his ears. “Aren’t I cool too (Y/N),” your third party exclaimed. “You’d be cool if you stopped overworking yourself shittykawa.” You couldn’t help but laugh at the scold, and it was the first time Iwaizumi noticed how amazing the sound was.

“Besides, I’m gonna really miss you guys.” The words came out quietly, both boys brows furrowing with confusion. “I thought you were applying to Aboa Johsai too.” Iwaizumi covered the frantic tone with a cough. He remembered how he blamed it on dirt flying into his mouth. Even at 14, it seemed weird but you let it pass. The reality of what you were able to tell your best friends settling in. “I’m moving to Tokyo after this year ends. I’ll be going to Fukurodani Academy.” That was the first time you broke Iwaizumi’s heart.

----

He promised. He promised he’d only be a phone call away, and that nothing would change. You would talk or text everyday and it would be like nothing changed. The tears that drowned your pillowcase currently made you feel like otherwise. It was halfway through 1st year and not only was it harder to make friends in Tokyo, but you couldn't even turn to your best friend/ After All, he was the reason for the tears.The summer before you left you and Iwaizumi found yourself in your first relationships with one another. Shortly after you admitted that you would be moving after your last year, Iwaizumi admitted to having a crush on you. The awkward conversation consisted of him telling you that he thinks that he likes you. “Or I just really like your laugh and your smile, and jokes.” 

The two of you ended junior high and went into your first years of high school despite living in two different places. The promise of taking the train every weekend to see one another sounded good in the head of two early teens who were still in the honeymoon stage. However, the distance wore and as Iwaizumi and Oikawa began getting more and more involved with one volleyball there was no time for you. “Someone at school confessed to me today. I don’t know how I feel.” The admission not only led to a breakup, but the second time Iwaizumi broke your heart.

----

“Shhhh your parents are home,” you laughed against his lips. You were met with the hands on your hips sliding upwards and fingers beginning to move rapidly along the skin of your waist. The legs you had tangled with his began to twitch and you had to slap your hand over your mouth to keep from laughing loudly at the way Iwaizumi’s hands tickled you. The two of you had made up shortly after your “‘breakup”. If you could even call it a relationship given how young you were. Now halfway through your third year, you tended to travel to Miyagi twice a month to see your childhood friends. You always told your parents that you were staying at your cousin’s for the weekend, however would always sneak out with their help. You tended to find yourself sharing whispered jokes and soft kisses with your first love. 

“Are you sure you have to go back tomorrow,” The groan vibrated against your neck from where Iwaizumi had his lips rested. “We can always just skip school and stay like this.”  Your hands lightly thread through the soft strands. “Our parents would absolutely kill us. Besides I promised I’d help Akaashi, with some science problems tomorrow.” You didn’t notice it but something kin to jealousy flickered through his eyes. It was lightning fast, and he composed himself even faster. The two of you weren’t dating by any means, the distance not being worth it. Those were his words not yours. However, he didn’t know you were that close to the setter. “Is that the setter?” Iwaizumi knew the answer. Afterall, you helped with the volleyball on occasion, and could be seen hanging out with them on snapchat sometimes. Your nod of confirmation only prompted home to continue. “I didn’t know you two were that close.”

“I’ve gotten close with everyone on the team.” He doesn’t miss the way you stress the word and has to force himself not to sound like a jealous asshole. “Besides, he has the same teacher I had last year and I still have those notes.” The warmth on his body fades as you sit up, eyeing him silently. “You know, you two resemble each other. Dark haired, pretty eyed. Handsome. Maybe I do have a type.” The last words come out as a tease. However, at the slightest indication of you being interested in Akaashi, you broke Iwaizumi’s heart for the second time. 

----

Iwaizumi remembered how you cried when he told you that he was going to college in California. Your puffy eyes and reddened face made his heart ache, however he still found you to be the most beautiful person in the world. The night before he left he gave you a necklace. Just a simple silver chain that had been his, but he rarely wore. He told you it was to remember him by and for you to still feel close to him. The two of you promised to keep in contact, an unspoken promise to pick things up one day.

However, that never happened. You’d visited him once down in California and he took you to a few parties, at which he ended up ditching you halfway through the night. It wasn’t intentional, but his new life without you just seemed more appealing. The crack in our heart so tiny it was practically unnoticeable.The following days he’d apologize, with  a gentle caress along your jaw and a sweet kiss to match. Still the two of you had no title. When you returned back home, you’d two worked out a time schedule in which you two would talk. Slowly his calls became less frequent and you found out he’d be out living his new life. Your face time Netflix party dates with Iwaizumi eventually dissipated. As the cracks in your heart continued to grow, you began to find solstice in your old friend Akaashi. However, whenever you seemed to start moving on in your own life, your first love found his way back into your life.

A simple text checking in to tell you that he missed you. To a random call while it was 3 am for him, because he wanted to hear your voice. And then he got too busy again. Too busy to confirm that he was out safe, or to remind you how much he cared. Each time the once tiny crack grew bigger and bigger. Although it was unintentional, his arrival and departure served as a silent reminder to not move on. Too keep waiting on someone who just wasn’t willing to keep you. At least not in the moment.

Eventually texts turned into once a month, and then once every few months, and then only on holidays and birthdays.However, Iwaizumi would miss the subtle mentions of Akaashi and the way the relationship began to blossom. He’d waved it off as the two of you just being friends as his chance slowly diminished. 

----

As Iwaizumi read the caption, he’d found out the two of you had been dating for the last 3 and a half years. You looked so happy. The two of you are 25 now, and he had every intention of returning back home for a while, hoping to reconnect with old friends, including you. As he observed the picture, he picked up a tiny detail that anyone else would have bypassed. Zooming in, he noticed you still wore the silver chain of his. His heart briefly raced, but another look at the way your eyes shined brighter than all the stars in the sky said it all. He had lost you. Maybe not as a friend, but as a lover. For the last time you broke Iwaizumi’s heart.

a/n: i just binged this out and now its 3am but im gonna post it now anyways. This was fun and I hope i did it justice bc obviously this isnt a happy ending type song. But it was also fun to just write. Anyways thank u for requesting and song requests are open: check this post for rules (ish)

[h2ojustaddmako]

My Thoughts After Re-Watching Season 2

Hiya everybody. Sorry for the long times between posts. Working two jobs and keeping a social life, while also trying to sleep, eat healthy and get hydrated is taking a toll on this account. Bright side is, that because of the whole Corona situation, I might spend a lot of time home soon. So head-up, another headcanon/theory is coming this week, but just to break the hiatus, I decided to write today.

Every now and then, I decide to re-watch one of the three seasons of the show, just so I could have something to fill my time. So, recently I decided to watch season 2 again, and, as I like, pick up on some details, ideas or thoughts I didn’t get during previous binges. I’ve watched this season, like the others, around four or five times now since release, maybe more - and yet I’m still genuinely surprised at the things I notice or realize every time. So I figured I might turn it into a list of the good, the bad, and the plain interesting.

This list is in no particular order, I just write my thoughts as they go.

1. I am still BLOWN AWAY by how good the writing is on this show. It may not be an Oscar-winning script, but for a teen show of the early 2000′s it’s amazingly deep and well thought of, from every angle. That what makes my theories so fun to make, because they planted so much information throughout the shows that I genuinely enjoy picking out details and information from it.

2. To go into more depth, I really enjoyed all the different storylines they brought in throughout the 26 episodes. Look, twenty-six episodes is a lot for a TV series. Most shows release around 10, since long storylines are hard to follow and are easy to get messy. But while they added so many side stories (Max and the original mermaids, Ash and Emma, Cleo and Lewis’ breakup and Charlotte getting in between),. each of these stories merged with the main plot so well, and actually added depth to the story, making it more complicated for the characters, and more interactive for the viewer.

3. While the main focus for the season was the Cleo-Lewis-Charlotte  relationship, both Emma and Rikki had their romantic paths taken as well. But unlike season 1, where the couples fought for screen time, this time those relationships were put to the side in favour of the main plot, which made them more slow-paced and interesting to watch. I enjoyed the fact that Emma and Ash stayed in the dark throughout the entire season, and that Zane only appeared when he was needed. Both are good characters, but not needed every time.

4. On the other hand, Cleo and Lewis’ relationship was handled very maturely all through the season. From when they dated, through the post-breakup, and all the way to managing being friends, the relationship was very well looked into and explored.

5. Might be a side thing, but I loved that Ash was actually figuring out something was off about Emma. One of my favourite lines by him was, “You realize none of this is natural. But you already knew that.” (Ep. 26) Mostly in shows like these, the character either never questions the weird occurrences around them, or the curiosity fuel the storyline (like Zane in season 1). The writer really wrote out of pure logic and not out of plot requirements, and I dig that little detail.

6. This one is felt throughout the entire show, but was most dominant during this one. The show is not about mermaids at all. This is written as a show about three girls and their coming of age process, and the things they have to deal with, one of them being turned into mermaids. But it’s far from being the only problem these girls have, and it’s showing when some episodes really struggle to squeeze in scenes of the girls in their tails for pure rating, even when the plot is not in need of any mermaid action. The girls have a very full and normal lifestyle aside from being mermaids. They go out, go shopping, have other friends, work, study and fail, deal with personal issues at home or with partners. The tails are just another part of their lives and I love it.

7. Episode 23 is a turning point for Charlotte’s character arch. I’ve spoken greatly before about how I feel like Charlotte is seen in our minds as the “bad guy” while she was a nice character most of her time on the show. And she was! Up until episode 23 when was never trying to hurt the girls. She may have acted out of jealousy before towards Cleo, but she was insecure and worried about her boyfriend. What should she think when her boyfriend spends a whole lot of time with his ex and fails to explain to her exactly why? The show did a great job showing the point of both sides in the argument between the girls and Charlotte, and showed the entire process of how their relationship turned into what it was.  A lot of ego, assumptions, and false worries, and a lot of unfortunate events. Episode 23 was really a turning point because that’s where both sides of the fight were really right in different ways, things that led Charlotte to want to go on her own, and the girls to stay away from her. Charlotte acted the way she did because she felt like the girls were treating her badly (which she was wrong about sometimes, but they too hold the blame, mostly Rikki). From episode 24 and on, she started acting as the “bad guy” the show built her to be, and even then I can see her side. But enough on that.

8. Lewis is hot. Idk what’s up with Charlotte’s eyebrows.

9. One thing that feels off every time is how quickly Lewis started dating Charlotte. I don’t blame a guy for moving on quickly, I do find it weird that during the post-breakup from Cleo, he not only protected Cleo’s respect and jealousy by not flirting with any other girl, but also didn’t really seem like he was into Charlotte at all. She was a good friend at the beginning, then Cleo got in the middle, and for some reason, Charlotte did her best to rub it in Cleo’s face that she wants Lewis. But he never, for once, showed interest back until Cleo gave him permission to move on, and all of a sudden they’re dating. What I'm saying is that Lewis never seemed to like Charlotte romantically, like she liked him. So that was weird, they just never felt right together.

10. The reason Charlotte mastered her powers so quickly, at least in my eyes, is because that a) she had the girls to explain her at least the basics, and b) she didn’t put herself into a box of ‘this is what I was given’, bc she wanted to be better than Cleo at every cost. Her will power helped her master her powers. While the girls dealt with learning their boundaries and abilities and adjusting into the new life they got, Charlotte learned about mermaids before her transformation and knew what she was getting into.

11. The show never shied away from real-life issues, that may be considered inappropriate or harsh to the audiences the show is targeted at. Handling with divorce (and the outcomes of it!) and parents starting dating again (true story, Cleo’s way to handle with Sam’s introduction into her father’s life helped me cope when my mother started dating men a couple of years ago), while also showing signs of LGBT references (Nate mentioned people think Lewis is gay, in other words) or even sexual harassment and consent (both when Rikki was mad at Zane for kissing her against her will, and when Ash’s apology to Emma when he believed Lewis thought he was trying to have sex with her/spy on her showering, which to remind y’all, she was 16 while he was 18). It’s so brief I never noticed it before, but once I did, it was hard to miss.

12. And lastly, I just love how this show treats science. So much real life and true scientific information is included in the lines of the story, mainly by Lewis, but also by other characters like Will, Cleo, Lowrey, Max and Dr. Denman. When they wrote the entire base to what mermaids are and how they exist, they didn’t care it was a show for goddamn 9-year-olds, and that what makes it so interesting. If you’re not into science, let me tell you that every scientific blurb or word you hear on the show is 100%% real and makes sense within its context. From talking about marine biology, to referring to mermaids groups ‘pods’ (which is a group of marine mammals in scientific terms), to the science of “magic” and mermaids as a whole, the show knows what it’s doing is within the realms of possibility from a scientific point of view, meaning none of it is real, but it could be, in another life.

Anyways, if you have anything else to add, feel free! This is your list as it is mine. I just really love this show and I wish people appreciated it the same way we do. When I tell people I like this show they remember it as just another kids TV show, and it’s so much more than that.

Hope you’re having a great day, be safe, and wash your hands (just not in front fo people, keep the secret safe!)

Until next time, maybe not as far as you think. xx

[human-trash-fire]

Shot Through The Heart CH6:

Alright beautiful humans this is the last set up before the smutfest coming up. I hope y’all enjoy! Thank you to everyone for reading/sharing/commenting I can’t tell you how much I love you <3 Shoutout to @nalgenewhore​ @highqueenofelfhame​ @starseternalnighttriumphant​ for always letting me throw ideas at them!

Two months passed slowly for everyone, all struggling in their own ways...

For Fenrys it was filled with excitement. Each day brought him closer to *finally* being able to touch the girl who had been his every thought. Their conversations were so easy it was as if he’d found his best friend in a woman he’d yet to meet officially. They Skyped when they could, Snapchatted daily, and shared nearly every part of themselves. It was wonderful, and yet… 

For Rowan it was agony. He was, on the outside, the same as he’d always been. Indifferent, ruthless, focused; Inside he was burning. Every time he saw Aelin on their now regular group-Skype chats, when he saw a new picture of her effortless form on Instagram, when Fenrys went on and on about her… He felt like he couldn’t breath. He had no right to feel anything but happy for his friends, and yet… 

For Aelin it was pure confusion. She loved her growing relationship with Fenrys, he was someone rare. A bright light in the darkness of her heart, a smile on a bad day, a joke at an inopportune moment, a shoulder to lean on. He had, by some miracle, become someone she could trust completely. He filled a hole in her heart that yearned for an easy friendship. Fenrys was undoubtedly the most simple part of her life, or he should have been. They flirted constantly, that was their way, and she knew he had gone into this arrangement harboring feelings. It was that knowledge that twisted in her gut in the early hours of the morning when she found herself staring at a picture of green eyes, imagining what it would be like to know the man behind him. She adored Fen, and yet…

HOMECOMING:

Aelin:

The ball wasn’t for another few days. The Cadre, Fen had informed her, had to debrief first (checking in equipment, finalizing reports, etc.) before they’d sign out for leave. Knowing their list of post-deployment requirements didn’t stop the girls from demanding to know when it was the boy’s plane landed. And so she found herself wearing a simple outfit, high-waisted skinny jeans, white KEDS, and a white crop top, standing alongside Lys and Elide in the airport. They held a giant sign, complete with glitter and lights, that read “We finally met, the wait’s been crazy, get your asses over here & hug us maybe?” It was so stupid they were still laughing, and yet it felt like the only way to welcome them home. 

“Their plane just landed!” Aelin squealed while reading the arrivals board for the hundredth time. “How’s my hair?”

“Flawless,” Elide responded before adjusting her bra. “Do these look perky enough to you?”

“You could see them from space El,” Lys laughed and threw her a knowing look. 

“It’s not too much is it? I want him thirsty. I brought a jacket if you think it’s too much?”

“Babe, he is going to fall to his knees and worship at your feet the moment he sees you, regardless of how much breast is showing,” Lysandra assured her.

“No jacket,” Aelin added.

A new wave of people were shuffling through through the entryway to baggage claim. A number of them began pulling out their phones upon seeing the 3 famous women and their adorably large sign. This whole endeavour, like much of their lives, was popular knowledge in Orynth and the crowd gathered to watch. Aelin was bouncing on her toes, eyes scanning for a glimpse of, THERE-

The crowd before them parted and 6 gloriously tall men in uniform, duffle bags slung over their shoulders, looked up at the same time the gathered crowd began to clap. Smiles danced across their tired faces, that was all it took. Aelin took off running, her long golden hair streaming behind her as she made a b-line for Fenrys. With a screech, she jumped onto him, legs locked behind his back and arms thrown over his shoulders. He had dropped his bag just in time to catch her lithe form, and he spun her around laughing. Aelin pulled back from his shoulder and smiled brightly, “Hey you.”

“Ace,” Fen shook his head. “This is- Gods, this is amazing!” Aelin threw her head back and laughed. As she righted herself her eyes drifted just over his shoulder and found Rowan’s, his jaw was clenched. For a moment she thought she saw a flash of something flit across his face before he wiped it clean with an easy smile. She slid out of Fenrys’ grasp. And looked over in time to see Elide walk right up to Lorcan and smile in an almost lethal way.

“Salveterre,” she purred.

“Lochan,” he grinned back, his eyes sliding to her chest and back up to her lips in a way that made Aelin wish she could have a shower.

A small and slightly awkward silence followed the exchange as the remaining members of the group seemed to realize they were still in the center of a crowd of onlookers. Aelin tossed her hair over her shoulder and turned from Fenrys.

“Let me grab your bags, we have our cars out front. I know you’ll have to go back to base soon but would you care to have a beer first?” She asked reaching for Fenrys’ duffle, which he promptly tore from her hands and swung over his shoulder.

“Boys?” he asked behind him, and was met with a chorus of “Gods yes”

They made their way towards the doors, the crowd parted with cameras flashing and the girls smiled demurely. The Cadre, unaccustomed to such publicity waved and smiled, though the Moonbeam twins and Vaughn seemed to be the most at ease. Aelin, her left arm linked with Fenrys, chanced a look over her shoulder and found Rowan already staring at her. She smiled and jerked her head, Rowan made his way to her other side. Her stomach dropped.

“ Welcome home Buzzard,” her voice coming out slightly breathless, her eyes were still lost in his. Rowan smirked, a slow and sensual thing, and leaned down towards her. 

“ Thanks princess,” his voice was smooth like aged whiskey, and his breath was hot on the shell of her ear. Fire shot straight from her flushed cheeks to her core. She looked down at her feet before she turned back, only to realize he’d fallen back in line with the others behind her. Breathe. Fenrys was telling Lysandra a funny story involving a port-o-potty and a helicopter when she tuned back into the conversation. Aelin laughed, and led the boys to the cars, all the while she felt Rowan’s gaze searing through her back. 

They helped the Cadre load their bags into the back of the SUV’s and found seats. Elide was driving Lorcan, Connall, Vaughn and Lysandra to the bar, the others found themselves with her. Fenrys in her passenger seat, and Gavriel behind him, which meant that Rowan with his unending gaze was directly behind her. Aelin took a steadying breath as she moved the car into reverse, using the camera in the dash to avoid her rearview mirror. 

“Where too?” Fenrys asked when they’d finally pulled onto the main drive from the airport.

“Mistward okay with you? We haven’t eaten yet and I need fries,” Aelin laughed looking to Fenrys for approval.

“Gods yes, you know it’s our spot,” he winked.

She turned her eyes back to the road for a moment, then to her rearview mirror. Rowan was already staring. Shit.  Eyes locked on her, his thumb tracing slow lines along his bottom lip, he quirked an eyebrow in question, and Aelin looked back to the road, heart racing. 

Be. Fucking. Casual. Gods. she silently reprimanded herself, even though she thought she may be burning out of her own skin.

“Fen, find some music yeah?” she asked, reaching up to adjust her mirror as nonchalantly as possible. A chuckle rumbled just behind her head. Apparently not as casual as I thought. 

Fuck. 

I need a drink.

Fingers white-knuckling her steering wheel, Aelin drove on to Mistward…

************************************************************

THE BALL:

Rowan:

The military trains special forces in the art of withstanding torture. Rowan had been waterboarded, put in stress positions, kept awake for days at a time, and starved. He passed every test of will doled out by his trainers with top marks, never once did he break, remembering only to state his name, branch, and ID number like a mantra: 1SGT Rowan Whitethorn. Terrasen Army. ID #8675309.…. But this? This was something new.

They had all met at Fenry’s place to await the limo the women had sent to fetch them for the ball.In typically dramatic fashion, the girls informed them that they’d meet them there. Apparently they wished to “make an entrance.” When the limo rolled up the Cadre piled inside, a chorus of “fuck yes” coming as they saw bottles of expensive champagne waiting on ice inside the stretch SUV. Dressed to the nines in their uniforms (white pants with a green stripe down the leg, a black coat featuring their medals, white dress shirt and black bow-tie, a “Cadre Cord” of braided green rope adorning their right shoulders) the men turned up the 80’s rock and binged on champagne. 

Rowan had 2 glasses before they even pulled up to the event center, he knew he was going to need it. The building was tall, glass covering the entire side the vehicle pulled up too. Inside they could see hundreds of their fellow men and women in uniform bustling with their dates through the reception line and standing at the windows to watch the scene before them. Because it was a fucking scene. 50 paparazzi, cameras flashing, greeted the Cadre as they made their way outside to await the girls. Rowan felt positively overwhelmed by the number of questions being thrown their way and found himself praying to the Gods that the women would show soon, I just need to get the fuck inside and get a drink, he thought. With a flurry of movement the cameras spun from the Cadre as a black stretch SUV the same as the one in which they arrived pulled up to the curb. Rowan could feel hundreds of eyes on them inside the building, the knowledge made him uncomfortable. His entire job was based on stealth.

His heart already beating out of his chest, Rowan fixed his eyes on the door the driver opened and as if in slow motion the girls made their way out. Lysandra was first, her stunning curves were painted in a deep green velvet. The sweat-heart neckline fitting perfectly around her breasts, a luscious diamond and emerald necklace at her neck. The color made her eyes so bright, Rown found himself nodding appreciatively. 

“I’ve got this one, boys” Gavriel’s said as he adjusted his tie and made his way to link arms with Lysandra. She smiled, and thanked him as they stopped to pose with Connall and Vaughn for the photographers. 

The next out of the limo was Elide. Swathed in a positively sinful black lace gown with a slit high on her thigh, she tossed her long dark hair over her shoulder and held out her hand. Rowan choked on a laugh as Lorcan nearly fell over himself trying to reach her, and as she wrapped her arm in his she winked, that blush Rowan had seen only once in his life making a second appearance. Oh, he is so fucked. 

Rowan held his breath as a long tan leg emerged from the vehicle, Fenrys waiting at the ready. Rowan stood back, not allowing himself close, and doing his best to look nonchalant as Aelin stepped out. His stomach hit the floor nearly as fast as his jaw. She was a fucking vision, bathed in gold sequins. Her wavy golden hair falling loosely around her shoulder, dripping diamond earrings hanging from her ears. The camera flashes playing off the dress seemed to make her catch fire. Rowan didn’t think he could breathe. A red lipped smile stretched wide across her face as Fenrys hugged her. Rowan’s jaw clenched at the contact, that lucky fucking bastard.

The couple turned away from him to pose for the cameras, and that’s when Rowan died. Where’s the fucking rest of it? He thought. How the fuck am I going to do this. The gold clinging to her body like liquid metal stopped at her sides, coming to a point so low he could see the dimples above her perfectly shaped ass. Breathe. Rowan told himself as his eyes traveled the expanse of bronze skin. He wanted to taste her. He wanted suck bruises into the skin as he bent her over the table in the middle of the ba- Not. Your. Date. Think of anything else. Naked old ladies. Dead bodies. Water boarding. FUCK.

“Buzzard!” He was pulled from his thoughts by the voice that haunted his every waking moment. He lifted his gaze to find Aelin smirking, one eyebrow hitched in challenge. He’’d been caught staring at her ass. Fuck. “Get your ass over here.”

He slowly walked up to Aelin’s other-side, and did his best to calm his nerves as the cameras continued photographing the group. I forgot about the fucking cameras, he thought just as Aelin slid her arm slowly into the crook of his elbow. He felt his breath catch and his skin burn through the jacket he had on. 

“And who’s this?” a voice yelled behind the wall of flash.

“Oh just some old man Fen here found in the desert. The stairs going into the event looked a little steep I didn’t want him to break a hip, so I figured I’d offer him my hand. It’s my patriotic duty.” Aelin laughed, Fenrys snorted, and Rowan sapped his head to look at her. She was already staring back at him, teeth biting her bottom lip, she winked. Menace…

The party eventually made their way inside, the women signing autographs and posing for pictures alongside other guests. They ate a lovely dinner at their table and listened to numerous speeches. They stood to toast the country, each other, their fucking ancestors, the sun, the Gods and like 12 other things, before finally the night began. Music picked up, lights dropped lower, and the Cadre found their way to the dance floor. Rowan sat at their table on the edge, whiskey in hand, content to sit until they made their way to the after party. Try as he might, he couldn’t help staring at Aelin as she moved her body against Fenrys. Rowan had never been so jealous in his entire life, Fen’s hands low on her hips as her ass was grinding into him. Lysandra and Elide performing nearly the same risque ritual with Gavriel and Lorcan, Rowan shook his head watching the men’s wet dreams come true. As one the three girls facing each other slid down to the floor, laughing as they slowly dragged their way back up their dates; hands on the men’s legs. Fucking tease…

As if she’d heard his thoughts Aelin’s eyes caught his own. He knew what she saw. His tie was loose around his neck, nearly full drink in hand and legs crossed. He looked like an asshole, watching his freinds have the night of their life. She smiled, a small thing just for him and extended her hand finger curling in a “come hither” motion. He shook his head. This was Fen’s date, and the way she was dancing wouldn’t help the growing itch he felt below the belt. 1SGT Rowan Whitethorn. Terrasen Army. ID #8675309.  1SGT Rowan Whitethorn. Terrasen Army. ID #8675309. 1st- fuck it.. he finished his drink in one gulp, fire burning his throat.

He stood up and stalked directly to the woman made of wildfire and clothed in gold. With Fenrys still at her back, he met his brother’s eyes. You good with this bro? He asked in that way men do, Fen mouthed back a “Fuck yeah.” Rowan nodded. The hand she had extended to call him to her grabbed the front of his shirt and tugged. He looked down at her grinding, her head leaned back against Fenrys’ shoulder, as her arms snaked around his neck. Fenrys moved his hands slowly up her sides and around her stomach making room for him to place his hands on her swaying hips. 

The three of them were lost in their own world. Aelin writhing tightly between the two brothers, her eyes locked on his, tongue grazing her lip like a porn star. Keep it up princess, and I’ll take you on this fucking floor in front of the whole world. I don’t give a shit whose date you are. His lust addled brain was fighting for control. She was extraordinary. She was trouble..

...1SGT Rowan Whitethorn. Terrasen Army. ID #8675309…

Her nails digging into his neck and shoulders.

...1SGT Rowan Whitethorn. Terrasen Army. ID #8675309…

Biting her bottom lip.

...1SGT Rowan Whitethorn. Terrasen Army. ID #8675309…

Rubbing against his groin, in smooth practiced movements. 

Rowan was in heaven. 

Rowan was in hell. 

Rowan Whitethorn, was fucked.

*******************************************************************

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[wrongwiredmind]

Before I start saying anything I'd like to warn that the content of this post is both gore and contains suicidal thoughts, if any of that triggers you, please do not read, I care about whoever is reading but I can't hold any responsibility for anything that might follow, stay safe, and remember that no matter what, what comes next in your life will be better, one way or another.

This post is rather long, but that's kinda the point of this page, here we go, then.

So, I had almost my weirdest dream to date, right now, and then I thought, to heck with it!! Let's share something!

So first of all, I need to set some points straight before writing so it might explain a few things, hopefully, without giving a lot away about my personality:

(I have no idea how to put them on order, so they're pretty much a mumbo jumbo. Ah~ My favourite type of writing~. Kidding, of course, I actually prefer reading well written stories and articles)

Anyhow:. 1- I have a really deep unexplainable fear of the vast beast called an ocean (or a sea, or really anytype of deep water), I still go to the beach and pools and whatever, but there's always some sort of an icy grip tightening around my non-existent heart.

2- I love IronMan! So so much, and I kinda adopted Tony Stark!! (no one tell him, please!).

3- my adoration of a certain supernatural series made me love batman! (well, not entirely true, I always loved him, but kinda from afar, you get me?)

4- want me to get hooked on something? Give me a fanfic of it!! (of course like a series or a book, not a substance, you bad bad people!!), that's how I loved Bilbo!! (imagine me saying it in my adorable voice, the one I use when I try to sound cute 😉)

5- I binge read a certain fanfic about those two amazing superheroes saving the world, and themselves!! (I refuse to give up the name since if you think this is me oversharing? You've got another thing coming, honey!) that had a cruise and another prototype of the IronMan suit (don't ask which mark it is but it's so fast it broke the sound barrier!!)

6- I'm a little bit under the weather, (not corona, folks!) and my throat is kinda itchy, to the point that I lost all my vocal prowess for a little more than 24 hours a few days ago, still kinda annoying, and my stomach rebelled so much yesterday (before and during sleeping) that I thought she should take the rebellion symbol from Mr. Che Jivara!! (with all due respect to him, I'm only joking, so please no one takes it seriously).

7- I'm a little bit of a spacetoon (and all that's good and beautiful in our childhood) encyclopedia, want a name of a cartoon or a song you can't remember? I'm usually your best bet, after the second mother, google, of course!!

8- this week is so dead that if you want to see zombies come to our lectures any time in it, seriously we're so under a lot of exams, thank God and the doctors for postponing our tasks and assignments' due-date.

9- if I was a little more of an extrovert I might not have had to write most of these strange snippets about me in a freaking post!!!

And finally, on with the dream! (another thing you probably know by now, that I kinda take you around and under and left and right before I say what I want to say).

So, it was an assignment to some sort of subject (don't ask me which, since as far as I know, not a single thing in our curriculum will make me do what I'm about to do here, or at least, I hope so!!!), we made some type of fall-body suit that needed analysing (who am I kidding, it was the IronMan suit!!), and guess who was picked as a pilot? That's right! Yours truly!!

Anyway, good thing to bad, we had to make the prototype test in the middle of the (as I said above) the vast beast! Mr. Oceanus (I know that that is a Mr. Titan, but who am I, the lowly mortal, to deny his decision to appear in my paragraphs? And no, he didn't show up in the dream, thank God! [ours, not any of the others]),

So, I was put in the cruise, in the middle of the ocean, with the IronMan suit, and a seriously sick stomach, can you guess where we're going with this? (I'm actually kinda enjoying writing this since it reminds me of a certain mad superhero/not superhero who finally joined the XMen!, of course he joined a few years ago but I only watch the second movie circa a month ago) no? let me tell you, a bit of dizziness, seasickness, and an already rebellious stomach? Not a good combination, and remember that I really, really fear the ocean (just remembering the dream and the images in my head is traumatising, let alone living it vividly for a few hours), so, I fell, and strangely enough, I was a good swimmer (ah~ I really count my blessings here since no matter who or when someone taught me to swim, I still can't manage), I was able to stay close to the ship, but couldn't really pull myself up, so all I could do was keep a good hold on a rope tied around the ship and keep my legs in a calculated, slow what feels like a walking-in-place exercise,, (I can still feel the water around me, and the gentle waves of the ocean, it was both a calming feeling and a horrible one) and then...

Something touched the soles of my feet, and it kinda hurt, and it continued to move under me till something hit my toes, it was a shark fin, that's right, a shark choose me as his next meal, how honoured I was!!! Kidding i was kinda terrified, but all that YouTube survival videos came to mind, I left the rope of the ship and kinda dipped under water (triple scare, here, yikes!) and I... pushed.. his muzzle?

Yeah, so not really what they taught you in the videos, my polite nature rears its ugly head again (politeness is not as good as it seems, people! actually once a stray dog entered our home and jumped on the couch, and I was asking nicely and politely if "Mr. Dog would pretty please leave us be", and no, I wasn't scared but mom told me not to touch it, and it kinda was a cute, if a mangy mutt)

I didn't really want to punch the shark, even if my life kinda depended on it here, for a few reasons and actually at least one of them was pretty reasonable, which is, my punch is pretty weak, guys!!

Anyway, of course since its skin kinda scratched my feet there was blood, so it didn't leave me alone, two things I concluded here, first, Mr. Shark was either a lazy guy since he was coming to me slowly as if he either was a giant cat coming for pets no matter how many times you push her, or he was playing with his food, aka, me.

The second thing I discovered was that I was really sick in real life since my imagination couldn't conjure another family member of my guest here (again with the small mercies, can you imagine being alone around all these carnivores? And I bet not all of them will be moving so leisurely!!)

So, I finally decided to be the champ of my cruise and punch the thing in the face, so I pulled up all the power I can in my fist and punched him in his snout!!!

And let me tell you, it's not as easy is they make it sound, first, his nose is actually pretty hard, not the sensitive area they led us to believe, second, my hand really hurt and his skin scratched my knuckles, and I believe it kinda broke a bone in my hand, third, and worse, it actually enraged the mister so much that it left me, J-squared again and this time, flew! in my direction and I swear I still feel his teeth sinking in the shin of my right leg, but before he tore it apart, I actually did the right thing to defend myself, I (and I apologise, Mr. Dream shark, but you really hurt both my leg and my feelings!!) poked his eyes, which made for a very awkward stretch to my body, but finally, I was left alone!! With a mangled leg, of course, but hey!! It's not real life, so let's be glad.

The saltwater stinging my feet, still sick, and more dizzy from blood loss, you have no idea how glad was I that I was still near the ship, a little bit more than a meter but still floating, and then, the bad became worse, I actually goT SWALLOWED WHOLE BY A WHALE!!!!!!!!, YUP!! THE WHALE IN THE PICTURE!!!

And then god with his mercies again, it swallowed the ship but opened his mouth for me to leave, neat, ain't it?

But let me tell you what happened in a little more details, I felt a ripple in the water beneath and around me, and the ship started to sway, and a faint sound of something between a roar and strange song-like-sound, feeling the rumble under me was what made me look, and lo and behold!! The mighty animal wanted the meal that the shark didn't get, bye bye world!! Bye bye the suit that I still didn't to get to wear! And bye bye the report I needed to write for this freaking assignment that because of it I might fail and my friends will rail me when they see me!!

The ship and I couldn't help but enter the mouth of the humongous fish, the sounds of the wood, metal, glass and whatever is the cruise was made of was deafening, so loud and cruel, and I got a more than a few bruises and abrasions, and the feel of his teeth behind my back, sharp and huge and bigger than my own size, was something I don't know how to describe, and suddenly between all the breaking and suffocating water and absolute darkness, something caught my eyes, the slits in the helmet of the suit were lit, I'm sure it was a malfunction because of all the destruction on Mark, but it took all my fear, as if sucking it from my own eyes, and as sudden as it glowed, it vanished, but the calm remained, I closed my eyes, since it didn't matter, and just stopped everything, even trying to hold my breath, but not breathing as well, as if all body functions just... Stopped.

And then my eyes flew open again, not because I woke up, but because of an almost crushing change in the water pressure, it just pushed me forward more inside the huge mouth, and when I thought that this is it, I found the whale mouth moving further away from me, taking the ship and Mark with it, and leaving me alone, in the middle of the ocean that I wanted to say "c'mon!! If you ate me it'll be a win-win situation!!!!" but the second I opened my mouth water rushed inside that I tried swimming up to breath (even though not knowing which way is up was problematic, since something similar happened in real life before I wasn't worried, but that's a story for another time), breaking the surface was a godsend, I tell you! But my misery wasn't in any way over, I was so thirsty I actually wanted to drink salt water a again (and then death, oh wow, how smart?), and once the adrenaline deserted me, my leg returned to trying to kill me, and I don't know if it was a real thing if it happened in real life but it actually stopped bleeding, which was both fantastic, since it means that I won't die of bloodloss, and horrifying since I'm not going to die because of bloodloss, at least then I would have been able to calculate an approximate time for my death, but no, I have to wait and see what kills me next, I almost wished that I just had my previous stomachache and be done with.

Anyway, moving was not really an option, and staying was not either, and the breeze was making me so cold my teeth almost broke from all the shattering they were doing, I wasn't really sure when the others might decide to check on me, and I'm not really sure if I was still in the place they left me at, and I really didn't know what to do, I was so helpless, and cold, and thirsty, in so much pain and so so tired.

I cursed the whale again for not ending my misery, and cursed the shark for being a coward and not finishing what he started and cursing the assignment for being so impossible yet important, and most of all cursing myself, though I don't know why, but my self-loathing decided that now is the time to remember how horrible I am.

As physics does, the water raised me till I was floating on my back, which made me feel even more cold but I didn't have any energy to do anything about it, and strangely, I fell into some sort of doze, not asleep yet not really awake and aware, my whole body half above half into the water, though my right, injured leg, was bend in the knee into the water, which made my pained scream when something took hold of it in its mouth the more agonizing since it made my upper body enter the water, and the thing holding my leg left it alone, and I was able to right myself and look around me for the next threat, the fear was immense that I thought I might get a heartattack, which, admittedly would be better than the pain going to be inflicted upon me any second now, looking around finally led me to what attacked me, and for a moment, with my blurry, and fear filled eyes looked like Mr. Shark has indeed returned to finish what he started, he even returned to his play-with-my-food attitude, but when my eyes finally focused they detected differences, from the lighter shade of colors, to the more smooth curves of the fin and snout, and the gentle, warm (even if it looked sleepy) strange brown tone of the mammels eyes,

The dolphin was about two meters away, and looking at me with intense, twinkling eyes (if they were blue and he wore glasses, or at least marking that looks like it, I would have thought that the dolphin was Dumbledore' animagus and I really wouldn't have hesitated this time to punch his already crocked nose.. err.. snout [which it isn't, the dolphin's snout was perfect] with my broken hand!!) and moved slowly towards me, he pushed me gently with his nose in my abdomen, swam back a few inches, then entered the water and moved towards my leg, not touching it, but he was close enough to feel with my already almost destroyed sensitive nerves, he did all of that while I'm standing/floating, stupefied, hardly even breathing, and then he left, and pushed me again with his snout on my back, this time with more pressure that my body couldn't help but move to the dolphin's right side to let him pass, with my hand just above his back, when my hand touched his prominent back fin, he pushed my hip gently, as if telling me something, and pushed his fin into my hand again, it felt like rubber, and I couldn't help but ask "you want me to hold you?" he made a strange clicking noise then kinda slapped the water with his side fin in the other side of me, and bizarrely, his actions made me feel as if he was saying "are you stupid? Why else would I offer you my magnificent dorsal?!!" I stared, flummoxed, at the creature and couldn't help but throw my head back and laugh, I'm certain that it was the tension, fear and hysteria that made me do it, but for me, the whole situation was so hilarious that it seemed like it made Mr. Dolphin look at me and think "alright, the pathetic, hurt, star-shaped blemish is, indeed, stupid and needs help from my majesty" and then, using his right fin, slapped me non-too-gently on the side of my left hip, squeaking something as well and pushed his dorsal in my left hand again, but when he noticed my wince, he actually kinda rubbed his slippery appendage on my thigh while honest-to-god cooed at me that I couldn't help but smile at him, "it's okay, big guy, and thanks; you know, you kinda remind me of flipper!" and then I petted him a couple of times (which he purred at, I think I need a cat! 🤔🤔) then grabbed his fin in a tight but non constricting grip, my right hand was swollen by now so my only hope was to keep holding using my left hand, after shaking his body a little as if to check my hold, he dove with me into the water!! I almost screamed in fright but then he broke the surface and jumped about three meters high into the air!!!

Hello, there, adrenaline, didn't see you since a few!!

He dove again into the water and this time gradually moved towards the surface, with the water flowing into my hair and pushing me from my saviour, my left leg moved on its own violation and moved around the body as if I was riding a horse,

"WOOHOO!!", I shouted once we were in the air again, it was exhilarating; cold, but thrilling, though the warm body beneath me was perfect, he took me in a straight if slightly curvy line, and when I noticed that, I also noticed that his right fin was not moving as his left, I even thought he was injured for a second, but then a sharp sting in my leg and a slight jerk from him made me understand, my injured leg was beneath his wing-like appendage, and he was being considerate, as a solution, I flattened myself on his back, kept my left leg dangling as if in the horse saddle, my right one, as gently as possible, bend on the knee above the dolphin's back, my left hand gripping the top fin with it touching my shoulder, and my broken right hand above Mr. Flipper's cousin head, and then I came into a a sudden realization!! "does that mean I'm Lopaka????" I asked Flipper the second, and he made a sound suspiciously almost like a snort, but my change of position made him move in a much more pronounced straight line; the speed decreased as I started to doze again, as if he was worried about dislodging me, though the annoying feeling of the salt crusting on my skin woke me up, no idea how much time had past, except that the sun was on either the verge of descending or rising, and finally, finally, I saw land and buildings and what not from afar, and I certainly moved to another continent all together, let alone another country, after reaching the area where I could stand comfortably on the ground beneath the water, people started to come to see what was happening, I ignored them for the sake of my silent companion, suddenly he actually stood on his tail fin, and kinda sort of awkwardly leaned on me without trying to put too much pressure, I didn't understand what was happening though it seemed sorta like a hug?

Anyway, I pat his back again, (and again with the weird purring noise), when he released me I felt buzzing in the back pocket of my jeans, I actually still have my phone!!!

Pulling it out and snorting that after everything that happened my phone was still working!! all I could say is "well, it seems like the time of a picture, Mr. Flipper, sir!" and after an awkward kneeling so I could put my injured arm around him and trying to stretch my bloody leg (both meanings are accurate here, tbh) so it wouldn't interfere with the selfie, I positioned my left hand.

And the last thing I remember is the picture of my (Lopaka the second 😂) wide mouth grin and an equally wonderful grin from Mr. Flipper the second!!!

The End.

It really was a dream I had, with all these details, the only thing that's not entirely true about this post, is saying that this is the weirdest dream I had.

[the-writers-fandom]

Obey Me Fic: No Matter How Much Time Passes

Here’s the first half of a fic I wrote, “No Matter How Much Time Passes.” It’s 3.6k words, and can be read as a standalone fic. The second half will be coming out 6 PM 4/18, CT. It will be released 3 hours later on my AO3 account, CrazyEyebrows I hope you like it!

The boys finally decide to visit MC in the human world. The only issue is that it's been 60 years, and MC isn't doing their very best.

Mammon can't handle what's going on, but he stays strong through it all.

Mammon stared at his reflection. Hair? Perfectly styled. Outfit? An amazing choice, a black leather jacket with a simple white T-shirt underneath. Freshly showered with one of Asmodeus' manicures to match.

So why did he feel like garbage?

Every time he thought about seeing the human- his human- again, it made his stomach twist into knots. He hadn't eaten dinner last night, and didn't think he could stomach breakfast today either.

It had felt like a thousand years since he'd last seen the human, when in reality it had only been 60 or so. Mammon still looked exactly the same, with maybe a bit more of a gut, if anything. He noted that he really should start working out like Beelzebub, and not rely on running away from his problems as a form of exercise.

He stepped out of the bathroom and shut the door behind himself quickly. He had managed not to change his entire outfit and restyle his hair for the 30th time, and decided that this was it. This is how he'd look when he met eyes with the love of his life again for the first time in sixty years and Oh god maybe I should wear something el-

"Mammon! Hurry up, Lucifer won't wait for your sorry ass forever!" The sound of Levi pounding on Mammon's bedroom door brought him out of his stupor.

"Right! Coming!" He hadn't the mental capacity to argue anymore, and simply agreed. He then opened the door, taking a deep breath and faking his usual cocky grin.

"Thank you, my lady in waiting." As Mammon walked away, he heard Leviathan sputter and yell about how he's going to kill Mammon. Mammon ignored this in favor of going down the hall and the grand entryway stairs to meet with the rest of his brothers. They all looked equally nervous, beside maybe Satan and Lucifer, who'd found ways to hide their intense emotions long before the human entered their lives.

"That's everyone, then. Let's get going." Lucifer popped a small top hat onto his head and opened the doors. He pushed each of his brothers out before him, and before Mammon could go through, stopped him.

"I want to talk to you." Then, pushed him out the door and followed behind. Belphegor led the group now, sitting up on Beelzebub's back and giving tired directions. Mammon gulped, walking slow so they wouldn't be heard.

"What is it Lucifer? Can'tcha see how excited I am?" He smiled and laughed a bit, to which Lucifer sighed.

"Yes, of course. What I wanted to say, Mammon... You know how fast human's age, correct? Much faster than either of us, or any witch or sorcerer." Mammon had expected something like this and rolled his eyes.

"Course I know, Lucifer. It's like how dogs age."

"You know that they will be very different than you remember-"

"Yes Lucifer, I know. I know that they'll be weird lookin' with more wrinkles and weird scars and ex boy or girlfriends and I know that they might not remember us but that doesn't matter. Because they will."

"You have a lot of faith in an 80 year old human."

"80's like, nothing."

"Yes, for an immortal councilman of the demon world. For a human, it's... 80 is nearing the end of their lifespan. They may not have much time left."

"Then they can come visit us when they're back in the Devildom."

"You know their soul is too polished to be a demon, in limbo, or otherwise. Surely they'd become a celestial being."

"Then... Maybe they can join the program again and-"

"Mammon. We're almost there. I just wanted to let you know that this may be your last chance to say anything you need to say, alright?"

That really helped the knots in Mammon's stomach, making them tighter and making him nauseated. Mammon frowned, coming upon the portal spot. Each of his brothers stood there, waiting for Lucifer to open the portal to the human world.

And then he did.

Mammon winced at the great big light, forgetting how blinding this whole ordeal was. He stepped in, and found himself somewhere unrecognizable.

"Wait, where are we, Lucifer?" Satan asked for him.

"We're in America."

"This doesn't look like anywhere in America I've ever been." Belphegor frowns, seeing the small houses lined in rows. They were all individual, a story each to its own.  

"Because you went to New York, and LA, and Orlando, this is just some small town in the Midwest. Of course it looks nothing like you're used to. C'mon, let's go." Lucifer started walking, staring down at his D.D.D. Mammon assumed there might be directions on it, and he found he was right when a small voice emitted from it,  

"Turn right in 200 feet."

"What a weird way to measure distance. What kind of feet? Human's?" Beelzebub asked aloud, and nobody answered. They were all quiet as they came upon the small nursing home, taking in the look of the outside.

“This is it. Now, all of you, stay quiet until we get to them. I’m using a fake alias, as these humans may realistically die hearing that my name is Lucifer.” The boys just nodded, everyone nervous and not wanting to show it. Lucifer headed in first, taking his hat off.

“Hello, my name is John. I’m here to see MC.” Lucifer smiled sweetly at the woman at the counter.

“Sure, you called earlier, right? Follow me.” She got up and started walking towards the back of the large room. Mammon looked around, seeing many older people doing various activities. Watching TV, playing checkers, knitting. He had expected them to be old, but hadn’t really internalized that they’d be this old.

“Now I do have to warn you, this specific patient has Alzheimers and isn’t lucid very often. In fact, the last time their children were here, they had to recollect of even being married.” They’re married? Oh. Mammon didn’t expect that to be what hurt him the most out of all of that. “But maybe you could help out. We’ve been hearing some… strange names from them that’s been alarming the other patients here.”

“Names? Like what?” Lucifer asked politely.

“Some pretty strange ones. I remember… Levi? And a couple different words for the devil, just off the top of my head. Nobody can tell who they’re trying to talk about.” “W-Was Mammon one?” Mammon spoke up sheepishly. The lady hummed and shook her head,

“No, I don’t think so. But I’m not here all the time, so, maybe. Anyway, here you are. MC? Hey, you have a few visitors today.” “No thank you Lucifer, I’m trying to study.” The patient spoke without looking up from the desk, doodling and scribbling on a piece of paper. Lucifer was slightly startled, hand resting on his chest now.

“That’s uhm- ahem- that’s what they would know m-”

 “Lucifer? I said no thank you.” Mammon watched as MC turned around, and everything seemed to hit in slow motion. Their hands were shaking, they looked brittle. Mammon feared even the slightest touch might make them crumble underneath him. He sucked in a breath, and then, they caught eyes. MC gazed into Mammon’s eyes and, for a split second, they seemed to get insanely excited.

 “Chistopher?” They asked, and suddenly Mammon’s entire world broke down around him. He started to cry, shaking his head. Beelzebub put an arm around him while the nurse spoke,

 “No, Darling. Chistopher can’t visit today. Very sorry about that, they’ve been asking about their husband a lot. He hasn’t visited in months. I think he knows… Ahem. Anyhow, I’ll leave you all to it. I’m sure you have a lot of catching up to do. Just try not to get frustrated.” She smiles and goes back to her post. Leviathan goes to sit next to them.

 “Hey, MC. How’ve you been?”

 “Well, if I could finish this task, maybe I could get some sleep. Levi-chan wants to binge a new anime tonight, so I have to nap before then. I haven’t seen him in so long, he’s been locked up in his room. Isn’t that terrible? Ignoring his true friend. True friend… what a friend he is…” They mumbled and mumbled while Mammon watched tears gather in Levi’s eyes.

 “I… I’m sure he wishes he could’ve seen you more, even if you are a normie.” MC then laughed loudly, startling all of them. It was an intense, deep throated laugh.

 “That’s exactly what he’ll say, too. I know it.” Asmodeus pushed his way next to them.

 “Oh Darling, you skin! Your beautiful skin! Next time I see you, we must do a regimen together. I know just what will help.”  “Oh, thank you Anne, but no thank you. I’ve gone natural, can’t you tell?” MC laughed again and ran their hand through the little amount of hair left on their head. “Trust me, I’m loving it. It feels so good not to worry about how I look, I know he’ll love me just the same.” Asmodeus frowned, but then smiled meekly.

 “I… guess you found someone very special then, didn’t you?” He asked quietly, and Mammon’s lip trembled again.  “I did… I think I might marry him. So sweet. I can’t believe I met him during an exchange program. I really should write a letter.” Leviathan pulled Asmo away, who was sniffling sadly. They both stepped outside to get some air.

 For a moment, nobody moved. Then, Belphegor did.

 “Do you remember me?” He asked, and Lucifer interjected,

 “Belphie, really-”

 “Of course I do. Who do you think I am? I made a pact with… a pact with…” Their eyes glazed over, not remembering quite what they were going to say. Instead, they smiled, “Would you like to order?” Belphegor’s brows furrowed at the sudden change, and Lucifer sighed.

 “They’re not at all lucid. They’re probably remembering something or another. Please, all of you, I told you not to get your hopes up.”

 “That’s rich, coming from you, Lucifer.” MC stood, and Belphegor helped them, barely touching them as he tried not to hurt them in any way. “Really, I’m not that stupid.” They moved over to Lucifer, who dropped his hand. As if in shock, he couldn’t move, just stared at them. MC took Lucifer's hands in their own, and started swaying gently. Lucifer just slightly reciprocated the dance. He recognized the way they moved to a beat in their head, and remembered dancing like this all those years ago.

 Mammon couldn’t watch. He knew he had to wait, it wasn’t his turn yet. They hadn’t tried to talk to him yet. He wasn’t sure he could even say anything if they did.

 “Where’s Solomon? We were supposed to have tea tonight.” That made Mammon almost angry, why did his human seemingly remember everyone else, except him? Had they really hated him that much without saying so? As quickly as it started, their dance ended, and MC stared at the other three brothers. Mammon watched as they tried to work it out in their head.

 “I told you, I won’t do any more pranks on Lucifer. He might skin me, if I do. We all got off easy last time.” They crossed their arms, frowning. “And trust me, if I get skinned I’m using that pact of ours and I’ll have you skin yourself alongside me.” Satan smiled sadly.

 “Yes, of course MC. Though, I think  it would be fun to pull one final prank.” MC seemed to think it over, and Lucifer stood over them from behind.  “MC. ” He said, and they shrieked. They shrieked, and then laughed, stumbling forward.

 “Lucifer! I-I didn’t see you there!” Satan made sure they stayed upright, laughing heartily. Beelzebub put his hand on Satan’s shoulder, and so he moved away. MC turned back to face them.

 “Oh, oh, oh. Is this your little boy, Anne? He looks just like a friend of mine. Don’t tell me you cheated on Anthony, did you? Look at that hair, you’ve grown so tall since I last saw you.” MC finally recognized Beel, and now only Mammon was left. Beel laughed while they doted over him, hugging him and kissing his cheek. Mammon could only find himself jealous. They sighed into Beel’s arms for a moment.

 “Okay, thank you Lucifer, you may all leave now. I have somewhere very important to be tonight. Except you.” MC pulled away from Beel and stared directly into Mammon’s eyes. “We have a lot to talk about.” Mammon gulped, and pulled a chair over next to MC’s. Beel helped her sit back down.

 “Beel, Satan, Belphie, let’s go check on the others. We will have plenty of time later to stay.” Belphegor looked hesitant, but they all eventually agreed and walked out. Mammon stared at MC, waiting for them to say something first. They took his hands in theirs.

 “Did I tease you well enough?” Mammon wasn’t sure at all what they were saying, and his face promptly expressed so. They sighed. “I… I remember you.” A moment of clarity, Mammon decided, and he smiled.

 “I remember you too. It’s been so long.”

 “It has. Please, make yourself at home. Christopher and the kids will be here any minute.” Mammon frowned.

 “You have kids?”

 “Things change in twenty years, Mammoney. I missed you. But I moved on. I’m happy now.” Twenty? So, maybe not full clarity. Mammon could work with that.

 “I… I’m glad. It’s not like I’d be jealous of some human.” MC smiled and pressed a kiss to Mammon’s hand.

 “Why didn’t you visit me?” They asked out of the blue, and Mammon sputtered. He didn’t have an answer. He knew anything he said wouldn’t be a good enough reason. “Mammon, tell me. My heart ached so badly for you. I need to know.”

 “I… I was scared.” He admitted, head hanging low. He leaned closer towards MC, and found that they smelled entirely different. He didn’t like that, at all.

 “Of me?”

 “Of change.”

  A long pause went over the both of them. Mammon slowly looked up, making sure that they hadn’t fallen asleep. They hadn’t, but what he found was even worse.

 Tears streamed down their face silently. They were staring at Mammon, a frown pulling at their lips. He wished he could take back all of the missed years. He knew it was too late to do anything about it, and so even through his cowardliness, held their hands strongly.

  "Mammon.” They wiped the tears from their face. “I need your help.” He was confused, but nodded.

 “Anything.”

 “I’m going somewhere special tonight. I want you to be there. I want you all to be there. So meet me there. I need to find something special to wear…”

 “Where is it?” He asked, confused as ever. He feels as though there hasn’t been a moment of clarity for him this entire time. MC smiled and stood up slowly.

 “I’m coming home. I need a welcome home party. And a pretty dress, or outfit.” They dragged Mammon away from the desk and towards a hallway of rooms. He grimaced at the hospital like setting, but put those feelings aside as they entered a room. MC closed the door behind them.

 “Please, can you find me something to wear?” They sat down and gestured to the closet. Mammon nodded and moved towards the closet.

 After a few minutes of looking through the small closet, he came across a pretty jumpsuit. It was a dark navy color, and he smiled at the thought of his human wearing it. He sat next to MC on the bed.

 “How about this?” MC felt the material, hands brushing over his slightly. He couldn’t help the grin that formed alongside MC’s.

 “Oh, perfect. Do help me put it on.”

 And so he did, careful as not to hurt them when he helped slip the outfit on. MC’s large smile never once faltered, and once it was on, Mammon’s breath hitched.

 “All these years, and I still make The Great Mammon falter?” MC laughed and looked themself over in the mirror. Mammon stood behind them, blush evident.

 “I don’t age like you do.” He whispered, hand on their shoulder. “These feelings are still new for me.” He hummed. “You need one more thing.” MC turned to look at him, confused.

 “Yes?” They asked quietly, just barely above a whisper. Mammon wordlessly took off his leather jacket, and helped slide them into it. They looked back into the mirror.

 “Oh, That’s perfect. Thank you, Mammon.” They laid a gentle kiss on his cheek, before laying back in bed.

 “I thought you were going home? What are you laying in bed for?”

 “Finally, there you are. What are you doing in their room without us, Darling?” Asmodeus’ voice suddenly rang through as the door opened.

 “Asmo.” The human smiled again, and Asmodeus looks as though he was just shot. He ran to their side.

 “Hello! Hi dear, you remember me.”  “Of course I do.”  “Guys, they’re in here.” Beelzebub walked into the room, and suddenly all of the brothers were around the bed. Mammon took their hand in his own.

 “Oh good, you’re all here. How do I look?”

 “Magnificent.” Lucifer answered. MC closed their eyes.

 “Thank you. I’ll see you at the party.”  MC said finally, and the brothers all looked confused.

 “Party?” Belphegor asked, to which he got no response. Mammon started shaking.

 “MC? What party? Where should we go?” Satan asked as well, with still no response.

 “Boys.” Lucifer said sadly, “Come on now, say your goodbyes. It’s time to leave.”

 “But we hardly got to talk to them!” Levi nearly shouted, almost angry. He looked down, staring at the person laying in bed. “That’s not fair! I want to talk to them more!” His eyes welled up in tears, and Mammon stood up.

 “C’mon Levi. It’s time to go.” Mammon tried pulling Levi away, and he only got an elbow in his side as a response.

 “No! I don’t want to! It’s not time yet, I want to talk more!” He sobbed now, standing next to MC. Mammon was about to angrily pull him away again, but Lucifer stopped him.

 “Let him have his time, Mammon. We’ll all need it. Come now, let’s get going.”

 Mammon and Lucifer walked out into the hall, letting the other brothers say their goodbyes. Mammon then moved then further, outside, so he could light a cigarette.

 “You know those are mostly illegal now, Mammon.”  “I don’t care. I need one.” he held it shakily to his lips, and inhaled the smoke. Lucifer nodded.  “I understand. Did you have a nice time with MC?” He asked, and Mammon stared at the ground.

 “They… They kept sayin’ somethin’ about a coming home party they had to go to. Kept sayin’ that they wanted us there. What do you think that means, Lucifer?” Mammon looked up at his older brother and frowned. Lucifer tossed the idea over in his head a few times.

 “I think… I think that just means they weren’t lucid, Mammon. Nobody is, that close. I’d take it with a grain of salt.” Mammon sighed.

 “Yeah, I guess.”

 After probably an hour of standing around, the brothers all came out one by one. They alerted the nurses of what happened, and took their leave. The long trudge home was quiet, and sickeningly sad for all of them. Asmodeus clung to Satan, sniffles being the only sound they all heard. Belphie was on Beelzebubs back again, this time taking the back of their line. He fell asleep shortly after leaving, and Beelzebub made sure to keep him safe. Mammon, Levi, and Lucifer all walked together. Levi with his headphones on likely blaring music, Lucifer with his D.D.D in his hands, staring at directions, and Mammon with nothing to distract himself but the gentle breeze against his face and the sun in the sky. Eventually they made it back to the portal, and then back home, none of them saying a word.

 About a week carried on like this, the brothers stumbling around, all mostly quiet and not wanting to disturb each other. They were all carrying the grief of their beloved friend and none of them wanted to talk about it.

That is, until Barbatos appeared at the front door, knocking loudly over and over and over until finally Lucifer came and answered it.

 “Barbatos, it’s two in the morning. Can this matter not wait?” “It’s extremely urgent, sir.” Barbatos was straight faced, but Lucifer was scared of what may have happened.

“Alright, let’s go then.” “You need to collect your brothers and make our way to the student council office. There’s an important matter to discuss with Lord Diavolo. That’s all I can say now. Rush yourself.”  Lucifer was worried, but nodded.

With major struggle, Lucifer got his brothers up and they made their way quickly to RAD. The brothers seemed to finally be settling into some form of normalcy, a bit of tired quipping between the six of them. Eventually, they all made their way to their chair, waiting for Diavolo. They all shifted and spoke among themselves uncomfortably, Belphegor nodding off again. Diavolo stepped in slowly, grin across his face.

 “Hello, all. It’s good to see you.”  “What’s this about, Lord Diavolo.” Lucifer asked, arms crossed. Diavolo frowned.

 “Why, you don’t look excited at all. We’re celebrating tonight.”

 “What for?” Mammon asked, confused and almost concerned. Knots formed in his stomach again. Diavolo crossed his arms.

“A coming home party.”

[artiemoonqueen]

Baby

By: Monica Lebron

I was part of a family that had very few pets. We had a turtle that was always there since I can remember but was never...never named. We had doves that my dad once built a coop next to our garage. We would have them in the house as they would sit on our shoulders and often lay unfertilized eggs everywhere. My brother and I were definitely too young to take care of doves. One perished from a night in said coop by a predator, the other was wounded and healed inside the house. We somehow...crushed this one during one of our rough housing. I know I know, we are heathens and should be sent to Peta jail but we were children. Being only three years apart from one another at ages 8-10, we were wrestling and playing on the couch with a comforter and one thing led to another. Our last friend from a pair seems to have gotten tangled up with us. We were very very mournful I swear to you all. After that, our parents had divorced(not because of the doves) and I was left to entertain myself without any responsibility to a pet. It was another story for my brother and mom but this isn;t about their many adventures with pets. This really isn't about the ‘previous’ pets we had in the past. This story is about Baby. In the year 2018, long before my 28th birthday I had to figure out a living situation.

1)find roommates that I knew

2)find roommates that I didn’t know

3)move back with my dad

4)live on my own

Since I had lived two years with roommates that I knew and some I knew too much. Before that I was living with my father that would sometimes ‘break my soul’. And I was a bit hesitant to move with people that were strangers at that time, I took the opportunity to live on my own for the first time. $650.00 for an apartment that has high ceilings, beautiful lighting that I will admit that I am currently kicking myself that I didn’t take enough selfies. Furniture and decorations of my own taste and pretty chill neighbors, the location was a little out of ways from anyone visiting and just down the hill was a large pharmaceutical company that was the ‘leading biotechnology company that invents life-transforming medicines for people with serious diseases’ in other words, high possibility that they are working on zombie-endulced material that a friend of mine who once worked there, would swear that that wasn’t happening but promise to text me ‘code red’ as a warning to get my ass far away from that place in anything were to happen.

So I was alone finally and I had really fucking felt it. I went through a winter before looking through websites for adopting an adult feline. I had no preference other than friendly, pettable, I pick up and hug when I need it, but independent. Spoilers(with tears coming down my face I was able to find that. Sorry I thought this was going to be easier) Before our paths would tangle as the dove with my brother and I’s wrestling match, I first looked on the local humane society website to look for potential companions. While I knew I wanted an older cat because of less time training and the idea of giving an older cat a better life, I saw a green eye, black cat with the christen name ‘Monica’. Now if you want to take this moment to go back to the top of this tale and look at the author’s name, I too am named ‘Monica’. What kinda psycho names a cat with a human name like ��Monica’? I’ve heard names like Sprinkles, Scooby, Donut, Ringo, Chucky, and just about any reference to a greek god/goddess or dessert. Who was the previous owner that watched too many episodes of ‘Friends’ that decided to name a kitten Monica? I quietly laughed in my lonely one bed-room and moved along the website until the next day, on May 21, 2018. A week before my 28th birthday, my little cousin and I drove our way to the adoption center to look at cats that I had no idea whether I would go through with it or not.

“There’s a cat there named Monica?” my cousin had asked after I told her the musing I did the night before.

“ Yeah, she was cute but I can’t take her! I’d look insane.”

“ You don’t know Monica, maybe she is the one.”

“ Hell fucking no.”

We got out of the car and walked in. The front desk had a box of kittens that needed to be processed in. Their mewls were delightful to hear but were too young to be adopted out. I had signed in and asked ‘what’s your most friendliest outgoing cat here right now?’ The person attending us was quick to say all the cats were great but in her time there she had gotten to like a cat named...Monica. I could feel my cousin's smirking gaze on me. I was not going to subject myself to ridicule for having a cat with my same namesake thank you very much. There were many potential companions to see anyway. Some very old and very young. One with just an eye that I was close to choosing and others with large ears that reminded me of season 1 of ‘Girls’ Adam Sackler. But in the room with both a ‘mr and mrs. Incredible’ was also the notable cat named Monica. Let me tell you a little about the cat that will soon be renamed ‘Baby’. She knew how to get ya’ to want her affection. She knew that being present, unafraid. In the open, fluffy with hints of grey and a rich reddish brown coat along the black, open wide green eyes and a meow that was certain. She was her own saleswoman. In a true cliche, I was ‘hook, line and sinker’.

After $90.00 in cash, in a cardboard ‘cat carrier’ and her meowing away, I took a female, domestic longhair, black, eye color that was the color green. Birth Date 10/2009, formerly named ‘Monica’ home. Our first week, I thought she wanted to get close to me at night so when I awoke to a bat that brushed across my face and not her, that was fun. Eleven shots and two weeks of follow up maintenance shots for rabies, we had gotten familiar to one another. I would feed her half a can of wet food at 5:30 am before my morning shift at my part time job at the dmv and feed her the rest at night after my shift from my salon job. She lay on her back sometimes when we were both in the living room while I enjoyed binging on tv. And meow when I say ‘what?’ when we would eye at each-other. She will follow me to a basement apartment that I shared with my close friend David. We call her ‘pizza’ baby because of the time she climbed alongside the back of the couch while we were eating pizza from Pizzaroni. I felt a tug on my left arm that was holding up my cheese slice. When I looked, she was leaning far to reach my pizza to eat it. Not a successful attempt that time but she will try again. She constantly wanted the attention of David to which he would gladly and promptly pet her while she purred and then quickly turned around to bit his hand away. He always gave her the attention though. For that I am grateful for David. You made sure she ate and loved. You affectionately talk about her to your parents on your long distance phone calls with them and tell your two ideal brunch buddies about your time with Baby. You were the best coparent for her when I would leave for a week long trip to Europe or weekends away to work conventions. She loved you. You had to know that, and you Mike. She loved you too. But she didn’t love the dogs that would shit all over the backyard on the walkway to the trash. Those assholes.

Her next adventure with a month long excursion to my dad’s house before the final move together. While I worked my last few weeks at the salon to save for the time that I would become a true ‘City’ woman. She would find ways to break into my dad's room to lay on the middle of his bed and sleep. His heater would be right in her direction, while we sat unknowing in his recliner in front of his tv. He didn't want to like her. I know this. But who could meet a cat like Baby and not love her. Who would not love seeing a black cat go on her hind legs to look out the window that you have looked through to see the ongoings of the gentleman club next door. Yes, from grades eighth to age 26 I had lived in an apartment that was a stone throw away from a gentleman’s club that late at night, my dad would wake me up to see out the window and watch as the patrons would take pictures of topless dancers on the sign of the establishment before a game of ‘catch me if you can’ through the usual busy main street formerly known as The Bowery before 1867 however that should be left for another drawn out tale. Baby will have a final destination and despite her short time here, my dream of her sleeping peacefully near me while I lay on my bed on a raining day did come to fruition. Super Bowl LIV, February 2, 2019. Both my birth mother and I are hungover from separate nights from each other. She picks up my stuff, Baby and I. And we head to my current apartment in Brooklyn, New York. A dream that I have had besides the many others that will be done and accomplished, I swear. Baby is free to roam the car but she opts to explore little and sleeps most of the way to hear and then to Long Beach for two nights of rest. She walks around like the fearless cat that she is in any space she is in. Never cowers. Never shows fear or intimidation. She is fucking awesome in all her glory and we live together here for another six months until she seems to not to be herself.

As I live in a time of fear for my health during a pandemic, I don’t realize that Baby could be going through a decrease of quality of life with some kind of kidney failure. It was all too quick the deterioration in her appearance and behavior. I was quick to get her to a vet but the results showed more than we had thought and I had to bring her to an emergency vet. They were so kind but when the doctor told me the treatment that would be done to her, I agreed to then going to reception to find out that I would even have enough money to keep her there for a day of treatment. I paid for blood work, exam fees and medicine just to try and figure a way and she seemed to perk up again and walk her way to her favorite rooms to look out the windows or spy on us watching another extructating episode of White Lines. But she wouldn’t eat. For almost three weeks she wouldn’t eat and I had to force feed her food but she didn't want it. I would just get frustrated and I’m sure she was frustrated with me but why wouldn’t she just eat and take the medicine and be like another girls cat that has had kidney failure for years but the cat was still going? Why?

I knew what was going to happen if I made another appointment. I knew and I didn’t want to know. I just had to make the appointment because what if? What if, despite the week before she was back to her ‘old self’ she got even worse the following week, and couldn’t even walk in a straight line. What if her constant sleeping was just her trying to heal herself? What if I bring her one more time and they have a better option that I can afford and I can bring her home and she could lay right beside me on the bed like she use to and look at me with her beautiful green giant eyes that a kid once said were evil eyes but your are dumb kid, really dumb. What if? That’s not how it goes though. We know in our souls when it’s time to say that horrible and final goodbye. So we push through, kiss them more and hold them close and bring them to the vet. We will wait and listen with tears already shed for the answer we didn’t want. The answer that didn’t fit with the what ifs. And you try to say your goodbye while uttering so many I’m so sorry. This isn’t a mom in hospice or a phone call from the police saying your sibling has passed. It’s nothing close to seeing the numbers of people dying from a virus or you dad getting in an accident and obtaining horrible injuries. Those pains are harsh, and grasping air. Those pains affect the heart, and brain for the rest of your life. Baby is like one in a million pets that people have lost. There will be millions of pets to come and go after my time here. However Baby was mine for a short time, but mine. I love her. I miss her. I feel her but I know she can never be here with me again. Feeling her not in the room with us but still having her body left was eerie. She made me happy, and loved like a familiar to its owner. Her snores by my head will be missed. Her purrs and weight on my chest. Her constant knots in her long hair. Her allowances of my kisses on her head. Goodbye Monica, Goodbye Baby.

END

[calliecat93]

Top 5 Things I Liked About RWBY Volume 1

(Top 5 Dislikes)

Well, got the Dislikes out of the way. So let's move on to the Likes! While V1 is my least favorite volume, I still adore it. I mean it is the volume that got me and many others into RWBY and without we, well... we obviously wouldn’t have a show. I can forgive many of the issues that I listed, as well as things like limited animation and amateur voice acting since it was V1 when they had a smaller budget and were figuring stuff out. ANd there were still plenty of things to love, especially now.

So let take a trip down memory lane and look back at some of the best parts of the beginning of our journey with RWBY Volume 1~!

#5. The Character Trailers

Okay, this might be cheating since they’re technically not part of the volume. But they were made to lead-up to it like the later trailers were for later volumes and they have story relevance later, so I’m counting it! Plus I want to talk about them somewhere because I freakin’ love these so much~!

These trailers are what got me into RWBY. I remember looking up stuff about the show when I started getting interested in it back in late 2013, and I went to watch them when I found out about them. Making these was a very smart move. They introduce us to our characters early on, gave us a feel of each aspect of the show, and of course created hype to ensure that people tuned in when the actual show started. The Red Trailer shows off the amazing fighting animaiton, White shows off the epic soundtrack, Black introduces plot elements and shows that there will be more than just cool fighting, and Yellow brings 'em all together in one badass package. When I binged through all four of these, I became a fan very quickly. I started the show that night, finished the next afternoon as V1 had practically ended just before I started, and I haven’t looked back ever since. And when parts of them came back into the plot later like the bar that Yang trashed in V2? That made me even happier cause it made them have a point outside of just hype.

The trailers were all fantastic. RT was clearly betting a lot on this show to allow Monty to do these, and the gamble paid off. All four of them have their own unique style and aesthetic and still looks amazing even now. It’s why whenever I see anyone ask where to start with RWBY, I tell them to watch these first. They do a great job of introducing you to this world, and with us going into the seventh volume, their impact is still being felt. I couldn’t not put these on here, but since they aren’t technically part of the volume, I left it at Number 5. But still, these are great and if you skipped them, go and watch them. Now. The list will still be here when you get back.

#4. Fight Animation

...what? Are we surprised that this is on here? Monty’s fight animation is amazing. Even years later, they still hold up. Monty got his start at RTwuth his fight animaiton in RvB, which truly brought that series to the next level. Then he got his won show with even more freedom to go crazy, and boy did he deliver. Sure it didn’t always work well, like when he did it for Penny in the finale and gave away the reveal s a result. But it’ still a badass sequence. All fo the major fights are. The trailer fights, Ruby in Chapter 1, the Nevermore fight in 8, everything else in between and after, it all looked incredible. They were fast, creative, and just so much funt o watch. while I am one fo the people who strongly disagree that the fights went downhill after V3, Monty’s style cannot be duplicated. Nor should it be. We may never have Monty’s fights again, but they will forever live on. That’s honestly for the best.

#3. Weiss Development/Rewatch Value

I was a little harsh on Weiss in the Dislikes post, so let's fix that! I love Weiss. She is my second favorite character and one of the best developed. While I complained about her writing int he finale, outside that? She was good. She was snooty and bitchy, but we saw in Chapter 8 that she is aware of her flaws and did save Ruby as well as give her a pep talk... kinda. But The Badge and the Burden is where she really shines. She’s mad about being led by a childish girl who pretty much got allowed into Beacon, Port gave her a stern but encouraging talking to, and Weiss began to try and improve herself as both a teammate and as a person. It’s simple, but for Volume 1, it was nice and made her likable after how mean she was in the first half of the volume.

Then the rest of the series happened, and Weiss in V1 becomes even better.

It makes Weiss’ attitude make sense. She had to work and fight to earn her way into Beacon. Her father outright forced her to fight a Grimm Knight to earn the right to leave and almost lost an eye due to it. Then she meets this careless girl who rushes into fights, gets in her way, and as far as she knows did nothing to get into Beacon while she had to fight tooth and nail. Then the same girl got to be leader despite generally goofing off and not taking anything seriously, and it makes Weiss being angry 100% understandable. She still acted poorly, hence why Port’s talk was necessary, but it isn’t Weiss just being a stereotypical mean rich girl. She has reasons why she acts the way that she does, and she can recognize those flaws and work to fix it. Even with my complaint about her in the finale she DOES follow it up and improve her attitude towards Blake, Faunus, and her team.

Weiss is a fantastic character. V1 gives you many reasons to dislike her, but over time you grow to love her. This volume was the first step in her breaking out of the toxic and hateful environment and mindset that she was raised in, and she took that step in spades. Rewatching her in this volume makes you appreciate her character so much. Again, her development here is simple, but important and overall solid outside of a few spots. I think that Weiss’ arc has the most rewatch value in this volume, and I appreciate it so much. It is a little spotty though, so I put it at Number 3. But we have another good character arc to talk about, one that I think is underrated to be honest.

#2. Ruby Development

Ruby is my favorite character in the entire series. She was since I started the show, and she still is to this day. Many call her a flat and boring character, and it annoys me. But I do see the complaint that up until recently, she hasn't developed. That she is the exact same as when she started. Ugh... yeah, no. I know that V1 was a while ago and that a lot has happened since then, but she developed greatly in this volume and beyond.

In V1, Ruby is just a girl who dreams of being a Huntress. But it’s kinda like a childish fantasy. One that she’s genuine about, but one that she isn’t truly prepared for. She thinks that all she needs is her badass scythe, and she’ll be fine. She’s reckless, charging into battle to prove that she is capable fo being at Beacon. SHe’s awkward and doesn't want to make friends or teammates. Not because she’s anti-social, but because she’s an awkward girl who is already feeling pressure due to not wanting to be received as special when she got let into Beacon early.

This volume greatly sets Ruby on the right path. Her recklessness gets her into trouble, and she only survives because of characters like Weiss helping. She isn’t able to truly take on Grimm until she starts working as a team with the others, in which she stands up and takes the reigns. She starts channeling her recklessness into crazy plans, like the slingshot, which shows her out-of-the-box thinking that becomes a major asset to her. The Badge and the Burden shows her acting childish, goofing off in class and not paying attention. But we also see that she’s anxious in her new role as leader and if she truly belongs in Beacon or if Ozpin made a mistake in letting her in. But Oz gives her a nice pep talk and we later see that she fell asleep while studying, showing that she is trying to put effort into her studies and into her new position. Encouragement that she later gives Jaune, showing that she took ti to heart.

As with Weiss, it’s simple stuff. But it’s still major progression for Ruby. While her goal of Huntress is still somewhat of s childish fantasy, it’s genuine. She is genuine about wanting to help people and make their lives better just because she wants to. Not out fo any personal goal or thrill, just because she wants to do good. We see that she’s learning as she tarts to put her anxiety aside to work with her teammates, learn to take school seriously, learn to not be so reckless and not be so worried about proving that she can do this, and of course begin to take her first steps in becoming a leader. Steps that will lead to great things for her, especially in V6. I can’t properly gush about Ruby in this post, but I love her growth here so much, and it’s one of the best things in the volume for me.

#1. Players and Pieces

So... you’re probably wondering why this is Number One. Well... it’s because while the trailers got me to watch RWBYm this was the episode that convinced me that it was worth something. I enjoyed Chapters 1-7, but I was kinda waiting for that moment that made me see why it had gotten so popular so quickly. I didn’t watch RWBY when it started I hadn’t even heard of Rooster Teeth at that point. I just saw my friends talking about it, got curious, and started watching it. It was nice... but it didn’t really impress me or get why people were loving this so much. It just felt like a slightly above average web series.

Then I got to Players and Pieces.

This episode wowed me when I watched it. You know how I said that the trailers introduced certain aspects and yellow brought them all together? Well, this chapter did that for something within the show. Awesome fight animaiton? Check. Weiss development? Check. Ruby development? Check. It had good humor. It was paced well. It felt satisfying. And the soundtrack? Holy crap the soundtrack. Yeah, I had to force myself to not put ‘Jeff Williams Music’ on this list because it would be redundant, and putting it on every list would get old. But the moment that Red Like Roses Part II kicked in, everything ramped up. Especially when Ruby slayed the Nevermore. That scene is outright iconic.

This chapter took everything that the first seven was building up to and it delivered an amazing payoff. The characters were great. The animaiton was great. The tone was great. It was funny, heartwarming, and badass in every single way. This was when I realized just how amazing this show was going to be. This is when I decided to hop on board the hype train. This was when I became a real fan, and I am still going even six years later. It’ crazy to me that we’re going into V7, cause whenever I rewatch the moment where Ruby is launched at the nevermore and urns up that cliff, I remember when I first saw the scene. And I still feel the same awe that I felt the first time. When I need to remember why I love this show, I turn to this. It was amazing then, and it’s still amazing now and will always be something that I treasure.

And that’s a wrap! My Top 5 Things for RWBY Volume 1~ It was so much fun to go back through this volume. It’s still a fun ride from beginning to end, and will always have a special place among RWBY fans. So now it’s time to prepare the lists for Volume 2~ Thank you all for reading, and I hope you’ll check out the remaining posts for the remaining volumes~!

[kylosrehn]

Pick 5 shows, then answer the following questions, don’t cheat. Tag 10 (or however many) people.

I was tagged by the lovely @handsomestarlord

1. Good Girls

2. Orphan Black

3. Agents of Shield

4. Money Heist/La Casa de Papel

5. Humans

1. Who is your favourite character in 2?

Beth Childs. lol. And even though she dies literally within the first few minutes of the pilot episode I’ve always loved her, loved filling in the gaps, theorizing about her past and whether or not she’s secretly still alive or whatever. And then S4 gave us Beth flashbacks and it felt so rewarding and satisfying, like the writers acknowledged how important she was to the show and recognized that a lot of people do love her and want to know more about her, so that was nice. Also, Sarah Manning. I mean, c’mon. She’s awesome.

2. Who is your least favourite character in 1?

Boomer. He’s vile. Wish they’d just let him die.

3. What is your favourite episode of 4?

I don’t really know... Either 1.01 because it sets the whole thing up or 1.13 because of the famous “Bella Ciao” scene and the cliffhanger “oh shit they’re done for” ending. 

4. What is your favourite season of 5?

I liked both Season 1 and Season 2, but I’m gonna go with Season 2.

5. Who is your favourite couple in 3?

Skye and Ward (Skyeward)

6. Who is your favourite couple in 2?

Sarah and Paul

7. What is your favourite episode of 1?

1.03. The whole thing with going across the border to Canada was cool, I loved that we got a look at Rio’s money laundering business, it introduced me to a great song, and it was the de facto beginning of Beth/Rio. 

8. What is your favourite episode of 5?

2.04, because of that whole Astrid/Niska trial scene. It’s so heart-wrenching and it’s one of my favourite scenes of the entire series. The dialogue is so beautiful. 

“And all this from a brief affair?”

“Sometimes a person just touches you.”

9. What is your favourite season of 2?

Season 1. I binge-watched it in one day and I instantly fell in love with the show. It’s got humor, action, romance. Each episode ends on a mini-cliffhanger that just makes you click onto the next episode asap because you have to know what will happen next. Plus, I have so many fond memories of that time in fandom. 

10. How long have you watched 1?

I started watching it during the hiatus (December, I think?) between S1 and S2, then watched S2 as it was airing (March - May.) 

11. How did you become interested in 3?

My best friend recommended it to me back in...2014 I believe. She started shipping Skyeward and encouraged me to watch the show, too - for their dynamic, if nothing else - and I ended up really enjoying it. And then a lot of shit happened that ultimately led me to drop the show completely. 

12. Who is your favourite actor in 4?

Oh gosh, I don’t really know, Maybe  Álvaro Morte? I love his portrayal of The Professor. He’s incredibly intelligent and astute but so nerdy and dorky at the same time. lol.

13. Which do you prefer, 1, 2, or 5?

I’ll be honest, my interest kinda started waning after a while, but still I have to say Orphan Black, because the concept is fascinating, the score is fantastic, and Tatiana’s acting is insanely good. 

14. Which show have you seen more episodes of, 1 or 3 ?

Hard to say. AoS just has more episodes overall, but I haven’t seen anything post-6.06 because honestly that episode just made me feel sick, disappointed and angry and completely turned me off the show. lol. I’ve seen all episodes of Good Girls, but there’s just less of them overall. 

15. If you could be anyone from 4, who would you be?

Raquel Murillo, I guess.

16. Would a crossover between 3 and 4 work?

I’d like to see it, yeah. I feel like La Casa would work best with S1 AoS because of the whole spy thing. Maybe someone from SHIELD going undercover as a member of The Professor’s team?

17. Pair two characters in 1 who would make an unlikely but strangely okay couple? Ngl, Annie/Rio could be kinda interesting. I’m not sure it’d work, but I know it has a small fanbase. 

18. Overall, which show has the better storyline, 3 or 5? 5. AoS dropped the ball after S4. It doesn’t resemble the show it once was - the show I fell in love with - at all anymore. The writing is lazy, formulaic and repetitive, the plot is riddled with plot holes and inconsistencies, the new characters are forgettable at best and insufferable and underdeveloped at worst, and it’s kind of obvious that at this point the writers are more interested in throwing in things for the sake of fan service and doing things they feel are “cool” rather than telling a good story. 

19. Which has the better theme music, 2 or 4?

That’s a hard one because honestly, I love both, but argh, I’m gonna go with My Life is Going On from La Casa de Papel.

I’m tagging: @captianstevens, @thomas-holl, @onlystony, @iwillmissyoutoni, @ilosttrackofthings and @secondchaircellist