#and the dopamine from people telling me they like my writing

[malachitezmeyka]

I was gonna say that it seems the only way to get my brain to go write rn is to hold a gun to my head, but at this point if someone did and was like “go write you lazy fuck” I’d just tell them to shoot me

[kubota-crackhead]

brainrot

[seneon]

INTERTWINED GAZES ──── katsuki bakugo

about. in which, everybody's watching her, but she only has eyes for him. romantic fluff. wc of 700+

notes. inspired by "this is what you came for" by calvin & rihanna. okay maybe katsuki is interesting to write too... forrr @seumyo aka katsuki's girl and @angeliicheartt my pooki

you took a trip down to a memory lane ingrained and portrayed with the best moments in your life back in UA. it all started with the very first step you took into hero class 1A, and it all travels to your final year in 3A.

it has been a journey. to grow in your quirk and to grow in your friendship with your classmates. for whatever reason, your love for katsuki seems to grow as it has with the other aspects that bring your whole life up.

now you're standing amongst all the other future heroes who danced and reveled in the pool of their sweet graduation. the bass of the party song finds a funny comfort at the back of your ears as the colourful lights run around in every direction, painting your skin whatever hue the light shines.

the emcee announces for a time where the next song will be the momentary dopamine boost for the students, a dance with a partner. by now, most of the students have their own partner. you can tell, they've grown on each other. they've fallen in love. they've locked their fates together.

not that you aren't a fan of romance, but the eyes of every other student that darts to you right after the implication of a partner dance has your eyes locked onto one boy, and only him.

every soul is watching you, but you're looking at katsuki. dear sweet katsuki who stands at one corner with a fruit punch in one hand, and his other hand stuffed into his pockets. he takes a sip of his drink before his scarlet eyes shoot to your direction and he freezes.

katsuki freezes because the girl he's always admiring from afar is looking at him. she's on the dance floor with so many other boys, but her sights are set on katsuki.

your heart starts to speed up as your hands are gently pushed against your chest to stop the rapid beating. even under the blaring colourful lights and the music that is almost ending, you looked like the ultimate beauty to katsuki. even though your eyes are taken off from him, his gaze is still fixed onto yours.

“dance with her,” midoriya breaks katsuki out of his trance and glances at his friend who shot him a smile. “you’ll never have this chance again, kacchan.”

midoriya’s words seemed to puncture some sort of idea in his mind. katsuki walks towards you, pushing his way through the crowd while setting his drinks aside so he could tap on your shoulders to get your attention.

when you looked at him, he lost all his confidence. it's all because in this moment, he feels so vulnerable under your gaze. your eyes that hold some kind of beauty in them and they see through all the imperfections of katsuki.

and though there are many people special to him, you are the only soul who can touch his cool heart with your warm smile that surfaces.

“i want to dance with you,” the blond blurts out with a murmur, the colour of roses painting his cheeks and you couldn't help but feel your blush own deepening. “i’ll dance with you, katsuki.”

everything was so sweet. the way his hands held yours so gently, a monstrous contrast to how aggressive he usually is. his touch is so warm and it has you falling in love all over again with this boy. you had your first dance with the first boy you liked.

and when you look back at it, you've always wondered why it took three years for you to confess your love to katsuki. you still wonder until now, years after the graduation party where you're now a pro hero, just a few ranks under katsuki.

“are you looking at our graduation picture again?” the voice of your husband asks as you pull your gaze off from the photo album and nod at katsuki who takes off his costume gears.

“it was on this date where you asked me to dance with you, and we ended up confessing to each other,” you said as he walked over to you sitting on the couch and gave your cheek a peck.

“of course. i still remember."

katsuki will never forget about it. because if a genie grants him a wish, it will be for him to ask you to dance with him over and over again.

© SENEON 2024 ♰ do not repost, alter, or translate.

[fluff-n-cookies]

Thinking about yandad Dabi and his child who's now around 9-11 years old. Your writing has absolutely captivated me <3

Dabi starts getting more possessive, more protective, and certainly more assertive. He's your dad, after all—you HAVE to listen to him, no? It's too dangerous to go outside without him keeping an eye on you, you're still so tiny and fragile. He'll be damned if his kid steps foot out of the apartment without his say so, no ifs or buts.

After a long day of setting people on fire and committing various crimes, Dabi just wants to scoop you up into a bone-crushing hug and plop down onto the couch to snuggle his baby, paying no mind to your complaints.

While he's soft and affectionate towards you, it's a completely different story when it comes to others. Dabi is ruthless and aggressive, destroying anyone and anything that may try to take you away–much less harm you. It doesn't matter how small, Dabi will turn it into ashes without remorse. If you somehow figure out about his actions and try to make a run for it? He'd be crushed, obviously–Dabi can't stand the thought of you fearing him. Rest assured, he'd track you down and bring you back home, suffering you in cuddles while scolding you. He's your dad–you need to listen to him.

(Btw sorry about how long this became didn't realize I was ranting)

omg hi???? thank you for gracing me with this masterpiece??? wtf???? (lovingly)

For those who don't know, this post is related to these

Pt 1, Pt 2

and this is all so fucking true. I plan on making a longer fic on this (sorry to say that I haven't drafted it yet, I'm working on overhaul posts)

but he's so paranoid, so utterly terrified 24/7, he dead bolts all the doors and windows at night and only lets you go outside between 11 AM and 5PM unless it's for school.

speaking of which, he hates them for giving his baby so much homework and taking away from their time together buuttt he genuinely believes you need to get your education, don't skip out on highschool like he did.

and he does this thing, this god awful thing, after dinner, after your daily shower, and after getting you all nice and snuggly for bed and into your cat pajamas. he'll do this thing where he'll hold you tight to his chest while he flicks through the news channel.

now normally this would be fine, perfectly fine, if I weren't for the fact he either goes to true crime channels where they display the horrific acts of villains (himself included) live. he tells you that the world is a horrifying place, that that's how he burned himself, how painful it was, the scorching flames. he doesn't mean to traumatize you, it's just to warn you!

either that, or he'll go to news channels covering endeavor's problems, scandals, recent missions, interviews. please don't ask who that strange man with eyes like yours is. he'll hold you tighter and say in the lightest voice possible. "he's a bad man, don't you dare go near him, he'll hurt you like he hurt me."

don't say anything else after that.

he's just tired, so tired, and you're there, right when he gets home after running "errands". you're his reminder of what he's working towards, this future with no heroes and no pain that he's trying to build. the revenge he longs for and the aftermath where you thrive. really, you're the reason he gets up in the morning these days, the reason he stopped smoking in the house, the reason why there's no more beer in the fridge, only tenderly made lunches that he makes every Sunday to prepare for the week.

you're like this stress ball, this hit of Serotonin and Dopamine and what not. every time you smile he can feel his heart clenching. when he looks at you, he sees the boy he once used to be, happy. you're so happy, so pure.

he refuses to let you go out much, his reasoning being that the world's a terrible place. when you ask what's his job, what he does at "work" every day, he only chuckles.

"Oh baby, I'm trying to makes this world a better place, my job is to try and stop all the bad things from happening. I'm a type of... Freedom fighter, really."

and he so, so, so so so so so so sweet to you. you have never known Dabi, ruthless arsonist and serial killer. you have never known Touya, a boy lost in his own insanity and deprivation of paternal love. both are vicious, people, downright insane. one's a criminal the other's incapable of ever recovering from his own madness and fury.

the only person you know is your Dad, Dad's a nice guy, he plays doll house and dress up with you and watches cartoons with you every morning before school. he lets you wear his jacket when you're cold and left yours at school in your cubby, and he takes you out for donuts or ice cream monthly. sure, he doesn't have money, he can't buy you that many toys and sometimes they turn the light off because he missed too many bills, but he loves you. that's all you need to know.

Dad is a kind person, he's not Dabi or Touya, he's definitely not a hero. he's your dad.

And Dad does the best job of gas-lighting you to hell and back. you want to go outside after 5 or before 11? welp, he's not coming with you, sorry honey, maybe tomorrow. what do you mean you'll go anyway? the boogeyman'll get you! (it's him, he's the boogeyman, he knows you won't last a second out in the real world with your loving father's help and he's going to exploit it the moment you start to show independence.)

but it's very unlikely that Dabi would ever even get the chance to do this when you're 9-11 years old, you know why? because you'll be in Endeavor's custody by then. I refuse to elaborate since then I'll be spoiling the plot of Part 3 and I don't want that.

P.S. you wanna be tagged?

[sorrowfultales]

Coming down from my dopamine high over durgetash to write this one for the people I have seen complaining about the new lines:

First, the addition of said lines for Durge make sense. The coronation scene is already different for a Durge and the alliance/fight talk being the same was rather out of place. It's a good step towards making the origins feel less like Tav+ and more like their own thing (Still a long way to go tho).

Second... You know you don't have to interpret this as romantic, right? The dialogue is very vague on purpose. The Dark Urge and Gortash canonically known each other from before the memory loss; they've worked together and were the master mind behind it all. The friendship is and has always been there.

It's all vague. Larian isn't forcing durgetash romance on you, they're adding more scenes that confirms a friendship, which we know about since launch. In canon, Gortash cares about the Dark Urge, but the nature of it is up to you. I like to make it romantic, but it works just as well if you make it just a friendship.

For all we know, Durge was his only real friend, the only one he considered his equal. He thought you were dead, of course he's elated to be wrong. Are you gonna tell me that if you thought your best friend was dead for God knows how long you wouldn't be relieved to see them again?

Durge saying "I liked you too" doesn't have to be romantic unless YOU WANT IT TO. There's no romance being forced onto you. And saying "why would they add it when not everyone plays that way?" is dumb btw. If we only made games based on what everyone would play, we would never make a single game.

"My Durge wouldn't be romantically involved with gortash". Good for them??? The game isn't forcing them to. They just added a handful of lines to make a durge moment more unique + made references to them being close.

The nature of said closeness is up to you. Hells, say Gortash had a unilateral crush, if you want. Or don't. Because again: The nature of the "like" has always been up to you.

Since launch.

Or did we forget "I tolerated orin, but I liked you."?

[thatbitchery]

BTW I tell y'all I have severe ADHD once every ten seconds because i want you to know I'm a low performer. I procrastinate on important matters for months and sometimes, most times really, it costs me opportunities and relationships and peace of mind because I'll know I'm supposed to do X but have no willpower whatever to do X. I want you ladies to know that's sometimes I hyperfixate on things with no importance whatsoever and that takes away my energy from things that are important. Hell, just last week I spent 8 hours on my laptop reading on bears and watching beat videos when I had work to do. That I have time blindness and sometimes am extremely late or extremely early or just get days mixed up and do Thursday things on Wednesday because I thought it's Thursday or forget it's Friday and not do Friday things and it costs me, dearly. Expensively. That I am inconsistent as they come and even a machine gun to my head can't get me to do something that my brain rejects. That sometimes I cry for hours because I feel pathetic and sad and too small with dreams too big. That somedays I wake up with the energy of a thousand Suns and start 58868 projects, create a brand new goals list for things I'll do in my life and go strong for three days then just- dump it after the energy falls. Then hate the hell out of myself because what the hell. That everytime I want to pick a new hobby or buy something or make a decision I hesitate because , do I really want this or is it dopamine and I'll dump it after 6 working days, because I have too many WIPs that Im yet to complete but can't bring myself to. That I need 168979 watches with alarms and a digital to do list and a manual to do list and sometimes I'll still get nothing done. That I try, so hard, and sometimes, just can't. And everyone that's supposed to help has the same recycled tips that just will not work for me. That I had medication for a while that worked but my body got used to it and overpowered it, so now even the option for medication is out of the picture - so I have to live like this for the rest of my life. That sometimes I run purely on ego because my self esteem is on the floor. That everytime I get a new opportunity I panic a little because what if I give up midpoint and ruin my reputation?? What if? That I self isolate because when I have too much energy I can't sit still and I interrupt everyone and need to run or I'll combust. That I self isolate because I have low social awareness and could easily say the wrong thing at the wrong time. Because I'm not normal and that feels shameful sometimes. That even CBT hasn't been able to set me straight, but I worked so hard to make money for therapy and medication and it's not working so I've also lost my will to work because what is it even for?????

I could Grammarly and AI my posts and have them professional looking but I want the ADHD girls with a brain faster than their hands to know it's okay to leave some words out because your brain is 6 words ahead of your hand and you're trying to keep up. I want the dyslexia girlies to know you can still write even when you're not sure if that thing makes sense, the people that mind do not matter and the people that matter do not mind. Because I want the 'english is not my first language' girls like me that struggle with adverbs and nouns and tenses and spelling to know hey it's okay, just write. You want to write, write. Do it for you. Forget the rest. I could polish all my posts, I do it for my work and official documents but if I do what will the girlies that need to know they're not stupid, English is just a language and spellings don't matter that much and you can communicate outside perfection see to reinforce their desire?? What will the autistics that want to try blogging but feel scared because they can't arrange their thoughts in a comprehensive manner and get lost in side stories sometimes look at and go oh my god- we exist and it's okay because we can still influence.

I tell you ladies every three seconds that I am a dark skinned black 5'4 slim immigrant in a white supremacist country because I want the girls that fit neither the beauty standards or the stereotypical standards to know they can chase their dreams and it doesn't matter. So the girlies of color that watch news and movies and social media and see people that look like them being murdered and disrespected and read the comments to know yeah, you can still do it, get on that plane. If I don't what will the girls that know for a fact that was unfair treatment look at when they need to know they can still rise above and make it??? If I dont tell you that actually I'm not where I am because I'm the hardest working in the room- I'm actually hella lazy- I'm where I am because I manipulate cheat claw gaslight blackmail my way how will the girls that work hard and still not achieve know that it's not because them it's because the world is unfair and you win by being unfair. I could play good girl , I could, I could tell you just work hard and go for it but then what will the girls that did all that and still failed look at to make sense of the world around them? Justify how things got here when they did everything they were supposed to? I say be a bitch so the girls that are demonized for not taking it lying down can be bitchier. I say learn the patriarchy and fit the beauty standards as much as you can and cosplay what's likeable not to conform but to cosplay and manipulate so that the girls that know it's wrong realize that you should just play them the way they play you - that's real feminism. That's real equality, learning the game to learn how to cheat and win because you were born to lose, the rules aren't made with you in mind so why would you stick to them, and fighting them is futile, you'll lose. I say being feared >> than being loved for the girls that got manipulated used trashed in the name of love. I tell you people are animals that survive by low balling each other so you can make a little sense of your trauma and forgive yourself for what you had to become to survive.

This blog is for the outsiders, actually. The girls that do not see content made that make sense for them, the girls that are born into a world that has no space for them and couldn't fit in if they tried because it's impossible. I'm here as proof you can make it. Autistic dyslexic ADHD black female , ticking all the wrong boxes and still making it. That's why I'm here, to show you how. To show you, you can. It's okay, you're okay. In fact, you're- better.

[physalian]

There’s this unskippable Google AI ad on YouTube where this girl consults the robot about how to cancel dinner plans with the people across the table in the most annoying voice (likely because I have seen this ad now and had to listen to her asinine questions 20 times at least) and this ad, right here, speaks to my frustration around AI:

It disincentivizes critical thinking.

I know the ad is a joke and meant to be lighthearted and I’m only this annoyed because it’s unskippable and irritating af, but every time I see it all I can think is “if you can’t manage enough creativity and critical thinking to come up with your own excuse to cancel on your friends, maybe you shouldn’t have those friends.”

I have a relative who is firmly in the ChatGPT camp and, for example, yesterday I was trying to figure out how to compress a video file and was venting to them about it. They sent me back something I didn’t read from ChatGPT. Meanwhile, I looked up a YouTube video and figured out how to do the rest on my own, and getting the file compressed was immensely satisfying. Far more than mindlessly and thoughtlessly consulting the robot.

“It’s just like a YouTube video!” They’d told me.

No, a real person put time and effort into that video. That robot stole their content without their consent, didn’t credit them, and spat it back out. I used to patronizingly refer to ChatGPT as "the magic conch" and now I can barely do that anymore because that metaphor is becoming all-too real.

While I can understand the barriers it lowers—like if you struggle with writing the robot does it for you, or if you need a piece of art and are too poor, you can generate it for free. Mindless, repetitive tasks that eat up creative juices that can just be automated by a robot, too (even though everyone can tell when a response is canned and artificial and no one appreciates talking to a machine).

If you keep consulting ChatGPT for how to articulate what you want to say, or just straight-up having it do the hard work for you, you’re never going to learn. Yes it’s taken me 8 years to reach the quality and skill of writing I have but as another Tumblr post out there said: The time will pass anyway.

I can’t draw to the skill level that I’d like to. Doesn’t mean I’m not going to keep practicing until I get there. I thrive off that sense of accomplishment. There’s no little hit of dopamine from typing in a prompt and clicking a button and I certainly don’t appreciate the final product scalped without consequence from real artists.

Or, like when I had to fire a beta reader for flagrant abuse of AI in her work: I can copy-paste my manuscript into ChatGPT, too. I’d paid her for a human response, not garbage feedback that couldn’t understand what I was writing beyond that there were words on the page. I wanted so badly to ask her why she does a job in a creative field if she's just going to have a robot do all the fun parts? I beta read at a great loss of profit because I enjoy beta reading and it's a fiercely competetive market. Surely if she wanted to scam people, she could have done so in so many other ways. You don't need to know how to pen complex prose in your every day life, but by god, you do need to know how to effectively communicate, contextualize, and argue your perspective and this ridiculous ad joking about cancelling dinner plans sure is funny, until it isn't.

And I know the people who made AI probably did so with the best of intentions but people can be lazy and cheap and we love taking shortcuts to save money and I stand by this: "Your scientists were so preoccupied with whether or not they could, they didn't stop to think if they should."

So. Yeah. This is a writing advice blog and this post has almost nothing to do with it, but that ad annoys me to no end and I had to say something somewhere about it. Bottom line: Robots were supposed to make the hard jobs, the monotonous jobs, the overcomplicated jobs, the belittling jobs easier, not make us all into pudding-boned Wall-E people. If you want to write, learning is absolutely free - write on the back of your grocery receipts for all I care. If you want to draw, pick up a notebook and pack of pencils from the local dollar store and start drawing.

What you made will always mean more to you than something that didn't cost you time, effort, brain power, or even money to obtain.

[britcision]

Hey by the way Dungeon Meshi gang, I have noticed that we seem to be pretty heavily stuck in “people hit like instead of reblog” gang so I just wanna throw this out there

Hitting “like” on Tumblr is basically a nod across a crowded room to OP. It doesn’t share it, doesn’t increase reach, nobody is gonna see it from your likes

If you wanna actually boost a post and encourage OP to make more of the same, you gotta hit reblog, maybe go a little feral in the tags, maybe just hit the same tags the post had before

Cuz again: nothing happens when you hit “Like” except the heart turns red and it adds it to a list on your profile

(You cannot meaningfully search this list)

Now this has absolutely nothing to do with anything I post, because this is about fan artists! Because we have some goddamn INCREDIBLE artists blessing us every single day in this fandom

And every time I see and share some of this goddamn majestic pieces and see “3 reblogs 1500 likes” it makes my heart sad, both because the majestic art deserves so much more acclaim and also less of us will get to see and enjoy said art

This is a goddamn tragedy

Imagine if you just… never saw that absolutely bangin’ Laios-dragon with his tiddies out because you just… weren’t following the artist because you didn’t even know they did Dungeon Meshi art, or weren’t browsing the tags right when it was posted

And listen, I want you to feel encouraged to interact with every post you even vaguely feel like tagging with a key smash! Even if you don’t tag at all and just silently hit the reblog button!

But seriously guys you gotta reblog all the fanart and go full feral in the tags if you don’t want to go in the comments or hype it in a full post, because while I am a full proponent of “you gotta create for yourself”

We

We want them to share their creations, right? We want to see them on our tumblr?

So we gotta give them that good good dopamine on the tumblr

Cuz lemme tell you I’m sure as shit not gonna stop or even slow being feral and unhinged in the tags and text posts and shit posting, but I might not bother posting fic here first and just toss it on AO3 if only 3 people are gonna see it here

(I’m also not gonna stop or slow writing unhinged fic or sharing it all on AO3 it’s just… not gonna get posted here separately?

Cuz yeah for real hype your own stuff, reshare and gas yourself up and all that and keep tossing it out there for shits and giggles, but it does take extra time energy and effort for me to double post and I am a Lazy Bitch and perpetually busy on a new unhinged project

There’s no real number I’d look for, it’s more the near complete lack of reblogs even when something gets liked, it’s the ratio that’d tell me it’s worth it to y’all for me to put the work in)

And also if enough people reblog a post you get to see the super cool viral explosion of all of the reblog chains and where people saw it and they’re awesome

Go find a well noted post and check it out

[lawva-girl]

It’s not even 9 and I’ve seen like 5 TikTok’s about how jjk actually sucks and well everyone is silly for liking it cause it’s not revolutionary. (Yap session down below)

BRO

are you joshing?

Do things have to be revolutionary to be liked? Can we not just sit and enjoy these specific characters? Sure the writing Might be iffy here and there… but overall, it was a fun and captivating story to read. It might not be the first of its kind, or the last, but it was interesting enough to become mainstream. This is my opinion (that it became mainstream) and I can understand arguments against that, but this is arguably the first anime to really blow up in America.

Besides that why are we all saying these *controversial* takes right before the leaks for the final chapter come out? I hate leaks so much, I cannot go on TikTok for the rest of the day because I feel like I’ll be spoiled, and not even from panels but rather a bullet point list of what is roughly happening in the chapter. No other fandom has this obsession with finding out what happens as soon as possible, not one piece, not spyxfamily, at least that I’ve seen. Reading these leaks does nothing for the fandom but spoil people, I truly don’t understand why it’s so popular on TikTok. This is me being upset but it feels related to capitalism in a way I can’t articulate, like some how getting the information sooner is so much more superior, even if the information is as informative (of the story) than waiting. Like part of me almost wants to say that all these people who say jjk is the worst written shonen just read leaks… I have a friend who only reads leaks, never actual chapters “because the leaks tell me what matters”.

What matters?? If I play only the audio of a movie do you get the full intent behind the costuming? If you have a reading assignment and you only read a synopsis and base it off that, where is your personal (your actually brain’s) interpretation? And genuinely he doesn’t care about jjk or how it ends anymore. Totally fine! Doesn’t matter! But when him and I started reading it together, he was desperate to talk about it, and interested in what would happen. Now he only reads leaks? It feels (heavy on feels) like a bastardized version of jjk that exists to be something people get their dopamine from.

Then when they don’t get that dopamine (drawn out battle with Sukuna, gojo dying and not coming back) suddenly jjk is not good.

ARGH thanks for reading I’m so normal about jjk I promise 🫶

[heraadora]

You're the epitome of a bitter lesbian LMAO. Let me guess, male figure in your life hurt you and now anything male adjacent makes you repulsed? Trauma reeks out of your posts and trying to make heterosexual women detach from men because of YOUR personal issues is so funny. It really does read as a 16 year old girl who never truly grew out of that black-white mentality. Seeing a whole rant about how PIV sex is "evil actually" and "needs lube" when sufficient foreplay and a gentle hand is all that's needed as the fluids that come out with arousal is PLENTY. You disconnect the inherent emotional weight sex comes with.

There's a reason why women and men who get raped have a stronger psychological reaction than if they were beat. Sex comes with a million barriers that directly wire to your brain that drastically alters when it's taken without consent. You can easily delve into research that doesn't abide by your inherent biases by saying "it hurts!" When it easily can NOT hurt. Or adjust with, again, the gentle hands of a partner.

Let me guess, you advocate for women and men to whore themselves out with no clear direction? Having meaningless one night stands that leave them devoid and hungry for more, an ACTUAL relationship? Humans are social creatures. Much of the real pleasure is found in that connection, and sex is like a physical manifestation of a love between two; callously removing that makes you no better than a wild hedonistic dog with no grasp of conscience. Mindless pleasure that just brings a brief, superficial boost in dopamine that subsides in an instant when you're just using "a self warming toy" 💀

(Also, telling women not to have PIV sex while suggesting toys that serve to directly mimic PIV sex is genuinely so fucking stupid and defeats the entire purpose??? were you ACTUALLY thinking a thought or was past trauma that you can't glam up for Tumblr hitting your face again sweaty?)

Statistically, 75% Woman experience pain in PIV:

And I am not at all triggered. Foreplay and natural bodily fluids still won't help with the fact that PIV will start to hurt right after the threshold of 5 minutes in and you will need additional lube to take care of that or else you will end in serious Vaginal wall injury.

If you penetrate with mere bodily fluid it will start to hurt while inserting as you will be able to feel the rough skin texture and inside of Vaginal wall is sensitive and can cause irritation. Depending on your hymen size it will hurt from a little bit to downright bleeding and excruciating kind of pain. If you have a naturally big opening at birth it might slip easily or else you will have to do manual exercise for at least a couple months before actually pursuing it.

Also, You are the one writing coke rant on my month old Tumblr Post where I am showing people the reality of PIV Sex. If anyone is showing signs of clear trauma it's frankly you. And I am not traumatized by any man. I never fucked them. I am a Lesbian. I just know about how sex actually works and the people I fuck manage to get me off without making my vagina Bleed out in a insufferable level of pain in order to jerk their pee pee inside my hole and treat me as a broodmare rag doll.

Maybe you are a trad wife straight woman with insurmountable and parasitic level of attachment to the phallaus even though you never knew how it feels to have your mind going high at the moment of your 20th orgasm and that makes you bitter at lesbians who simply tell you to grow a spine and try alternatives like rose toys and vibrators. In that case you should get over your personal past trauma of being called a cock sucker whore for being such a ardent defender of PIV by some random terf tumblr account so that you can make peace with the fact that majority of woman and their body isn't accommodated enough to deal with PIV sex and there are plenty of sexual activities that are objectively much more erotically and physically pleasurable than PIV, and much more safer, healthier, better, and things that actually make you come, if you are a Female.

Either this or the last portion of your writing sort of gives off this weird impression that you are a straight man. So in case you are a straight man, umm..... your ex gf or gf or wife or whatever woman that bothered sleeping with you- lied about loving it and having a orgasm. She probably just wanted to be nice. You probably saw her releasing body fluids and then basically thought that is the marker of orgasm. When that's not even how orgasm works. The physical marker of orgasm is something only the woman who experienced it can tell. Majority of straight woman don't even know how a orgasm is supposed to feel because they never experienced it in the first place. You seriously think you made her climax? Really? LOL.

And about that sex toys comment,,,,,, I think you should know how sex toys actually look like. Since you are illiterate and that's probably because you are a man , here are a couple pictures of female accommodated sex toys. They range from vibrators to rose toys to Vagina Shaped Flesh Light for the purpose of Vaginal Scissoring and sensation of oral sex.

Anyways, It was a very sudden message. Putting radtwt tags on my post so that Our Radfem Ladies, Lesbian Girls, Femmes, Dykes and Knight in Armor and Prince Charming Butches can read it and have a good laugh out of it.

[basilthesnakingthing]

I’ve been thinking of Monstrous Children AU Jekyll and Victor and their dynamic. (I think I’ve decided on the name “Van Helsing Boarding School For Monstrous Children” for the setting.)

First and most importantly, Jekyll is social, polite, cares about his reputation, and does a pretty good job establishing it from the get go. Quickly becomes well liked by the other children (besides Dracula and his friends), and gets all the teachers to be fond of him. He doesn’t go out of his way to seek attention, but it matters to him that people find him easy to get along with. Cause of how the original Dr. Jekyll was so concerned with making sure people thought of him as saintly, generous, and pleasant to be around. It’s not going to be problematic from the first episode though, he’s just likable. While Victor is none of that. He doesn’t enjoy company. (He described himself as being naturally unsuited to it in the original book.) He couldn’t care less what people think about him, they already tell him he’s way too intense when he’s focused, so he knows he can’t trust their judgment. (He was described as being vehemently interested in all the things he liked as a child in the book.) He likes Jekyll’s company because he wants to talk about the same stuff as him. But he will just leave if Jekyll ends himself up in a conversation with some other person. He also has a chronic illness that leaves him bedridden a lot, (it’s Victor Frankenstein, you know he does) so that adds another layer of “socializing is hard” on top of how unappealing it is. It’s also part of why his parents didn’t know how to take care of him.

So it’s like, the “manageable” child and his best friend, the autistic one.

Meanwhile, I’m characterizing Hyde as the personification of ADHD symptoms. The supernatural resilience and level of energy. The euphoric zest for life that you feel out of nowhere, but still have anxiety through. The way you can understand the consequences of your actions, but can’t really bring yourself to care because of this thing that gives you dopamine. The way we live off of intense competitiveness and spite. I promise it fits.

Now Jekyll doesn’t want anyone to know why he was admitted to the boarding school. He tries to keep people from finding out about Hyde and to their credit, the teachers who know respect his privacy. I’m wondering when Hyde should come out on screen for the first time. Since I’m writing this as a naturally occurring case of DID, that implies there was some sort of situation (before he came to the school) where the only way to survive was to do something that Jekyll couldn’t, but Hyde could. Some sort of thing he was forced into that his conscience couldn’t tolerate. So Hyde emerged in order to be a version of him that didn’t need to operate with a conscience. I’m thinking we meet him when somebody dares Jekyll to do something against the rules, which could be a negative trigger for him and/or a positive trigger for Hyde.

I don’t know where I’m going with this after that, Hyde ends up meeting Victor and being exposed to all the other kids. Something happens. I don’t think anybody is actually shocked by or scared of Hyde like Jekyll expects, it’s literally a school for kids that are deemed “wrong” or defective or dangerous. But he can’t help feeling deeply ashamed about it (again, this is me projecting. I am crushed by shame and self hatred about the consequences of my executive disfunction and other ADHD symptoms whenever I have a moment of lucidity.) And after that, he sees Hyde as a fact he has to deal with. (He can’t)

(And another thing!)

[robin1729]

creation is wrong?

As someone who has always been into telling stories, I was obviously instantly fascinated with the idea of being an influencer. So, I started watching interviews of influencers I admire. And they talked about how to create a reel that grabs people's attention, that keeps them glued to the screen till the end, that makes them want to see more of your content.

And then, I saw a lot of the same influencers talk about how addictive social media has become, with its endless scroll and constant dopamine hits. And I was like, what do you mean? Aren't you part of the problem? You are the ones designing your reels specifically so that they give people that dopamine hit, so that they keep coming back for more.

So maybe some creation is wrong? Even shows today are made to be binged. Ten episodes released at a time, every episode ending with a cliffhanger, so you don't close the app, switch off the tv, shut down your laptop.

You could argue that people who are rotting in bed all day (not always a thing to look down upon; depression is real, people) will simply find something else to rot with. They'll binge watch movies, youtube, or a million other things we have now. Did people not rot in bed all day before the internet? They definitely did, right? Does that make it okay to make it easier for them to do that? To create with the explicit purpose of keeping them hooked to their screens?

You can always just throw up your hands, cite free will, and say "hey, creators will create, we are not forcing over-consumption on anyone." You could argue that I am doing the same thing right now. Maybe you, and yes I am talking to you now, my dear reader. Maybe you are doom-scrolling through Tumblr right now, and I am contributing to it. I did write a title that I thought was attention-grabbing. I am writing this post in a way that I think is the most interesting, hoping you'll read till the end. I could say, we definitely have way too much content available to us now, and you would simply reply "But isn't that a good thing? You can write, shoot a movie, make music from absolutely anywhere in the world, and if you are good (and sometimes even when you are not), there is a chance that people will see it! It's why you have an audience, albeit a very very small one, in like 4 days of making this account, Robin." Though I don't know why you would call me Robin, that is obviously not my real name.

I don't know what the answer is. We desperately want things to be either black or white, the world would be so much easier to understand then. But most of the time they're just grey. They have good things and bad things about them. And you can't really stop the world from going down a path, can you? So I guess you just roll with the punches.

[ahoyimlosingmymind]

I’m glad you like my adhd Marella headcanon—do you have any additions on how that affects her everyday life and how Fitz helps her 👀

She likes hands on learning. So with school assignments, if she's stuck sitting down and reading a book or writing a long paper with very little creative freedom she feels super boxed in and bored to tears. So studying is not one of her strong suits.

When she has a big test coming up or books to read, Fitz will read them out loud to her and come up with niche conversational points on the topic they're reading about to keep her engaged. She'll usually be training to control her abilities and work on her combat moves as he does.

She can be forgetful when it comes to taking care of herself, a byproduct of always caring for her mother and not putting herself high up on her list of priorities, but also just general executive dysfunction.

Fitz leaves color coded sticky notes all over the place for her. Some of these have flirty little quips written on them, mixed in with a sincere "Alchemy test on Friday. Let me know if you need help studying." and "Please drink water today" (He often has to be the one to fill up her water bottle for her, or it won't happen.)

Some days he offers to come over and help with her mom so she can just take a break. Because sometimes she gets such bad task paralysis she can barely move. It's like her brain is running a loop of 'Do this. You need to do this. Get up. Get up. You'll be less anxious If you do it" and she just cannot move. He'll help her clean the house and fold the laundry she's left in a pile on her bed.

When she gets really excited about something and her brain is going a million miles a minute, her fingers will spark literally. She set a curtain on fire once because she was ranting to Fitz about how much she loves baking and creating new recipes with him.

It's happened in public a few times. Her hands sparking with excitement.

It also happens when she's really nervous/anxious. Fitz has a small burn on his hand from quickly grabbing hers to hide it when they were at school and people were whispering about her being 'talentless' Because the last thing Marella needs is to be outed as a pyrokinetic.

She felt awful about it after but he insisted it was okay, that it hardly hurt.

Marella is an external processor. The brain to mouth filter is almost non-existent. Which is part of the reason Fitz loves talking with her so much. There's no secrets. She has to talk to realize what she's really thinking and feeling, and Fitz is great at listening and stopping her from spiraling too hard

She has many hyperfixations, but often not enough time to really indulge in them. She loves to bake with Fitz, read poetry and collect oddities and trinkets from small shops in Mysterium. When she can't really get into her hyperfixations, she gets antsy. They're her outlet.

So- like your idea- he's constantly dropping little dopamine boosts any time he can. He'll tell her a cool fact about one of her trinkets, share human and elvin poetry with her and set up days where they can just bake together.

[paingoes]

Questions for any/all/however many of your OCs because I'm bored and curious.

How have they changed throughout their development? (I don't mean in-character --- like how do they differ now from the previous versions? How are they different now from the very first time you thought of them?)

How would the story differ if a character/s were in the position (societal, emotional, etc, any or all) of other character/s?

What's something (or multiple things) that they'd never, ever tell anyone?

What's something they'd never tell anyone, but really want to?

What do they think of when they hear the word "home"?

Are they religious? What are their thoughts on religion?

ooooo this is so much fun thank you for sending!!! okay!!!

1.) How have they changed throughout their development?

i wanna say that delta has been pretty watertight since inception. the story was created with him in mind. honestly i didnt always know where the plot was going and a lot of that was improvised, but his character and the way he reacts to things are fundamentally what holds the whole thing together. living weapon-whistle blower dichotomy was always there. thats my boy :)

paris and lorelai were both like. they invited themselves in and havent left basically id say that was their effect on the plot. ive said this a lot but the early paris characterization is kinda weak, he was just meant to be a kind of controlling and cruel whumper. and he was always supposed to be close to delta in age. that was basically it. i feel like the first time i really "got" him was when i wrote him in Moonshine blacked out and sobbing on the floor. and even now when i reread it im like. Oh there he is.

lorelai i guess ive also had her characterization down for a while. she has a good heart and despite her sheltered upbringing she has a very strong revolutionary spirit! shes kind of an idealist and she has a really rigid moral sense which is a good contrast to paris's ability to justify literally anything.

i planned to write rubies before crash out or to have crash out be like. a side story to rubies. but i remember the exact moment i realized when i wanted to do with paris and lorelai and it hit me in the head really hard. i was like. they neeeeeed to do fear and loathing in las vegas.

2.) How would the story differ if a character/s were in the position (societal, emotional, etc, any or all) of other character/s?

gonna hold my tongue on this one because the roleswap/princess delta AU is coming!!!!! no spoilers hehehehe

3.) What's something (or multiple things) that they'd never, ever tell anyone?

hmmmm. i feel like delta would really try to avoid talking about times where he was like. gleefully and proudly complicit in hurting and destroying other people. "glee" is definitely a strong word but he takes pride in his work and he knows hes the fucking best at it. he really enjoys the dopamine rush of hitting targets on a purely mechanical level and he enjoyed being The Favorite at the institute. hes knows its wrong now but at the time? he lived off the validation.

one thing lorelai would never tell anyone is that she thinks the living weapon thing was hot.

lorelai: omg poor delta :(((( thats so sad lorelai: it shouldve been me

while lorelai is pretty morally upright she defintiely has a thing about violence and control CTRL. lorelai is a foil to paris but she is a parallel to delta and i think she also really really wants to feel useful in the same way he can be. this doesnt mean shes okay with what paris did to him AT ALL but she is very. captivated by the concept to say the least.

4.) What's something they'd never tell anyone, but really want to?

i cant think of anything tbh! lorelai is mostly an open book and she says what she's thinking. if delta felt strongly enough about anything to confide in someone, and he felt safe to do so, i think he'd cave to that too. i feel like i should have an answer here for paris because he's definitely in the business of "i can't admit this even to myself" but i think if he really wanted to say something he would just say it. i dont think any of them are really good at keeping secrets.

5.) What do they think of when they hear the word "home"?

paris thinks of thales, which is silly. it's not like he ever spent that much time there.

loreali thinks of absalom! she loves her home and its kind of incredible she ever left. she made a big sacrifice doing it and she doesnt regret it but she does get homesick a lot.

delta has no immediate associations and that is something that definitely eats at him. minor spoilers for rubies i guess but he will eventually come to associate Galatea -- and especially Levon -- with home.

6.) Are they religious? What are their thoughts on religion?

i think it would be funny here to say lorelai's family is southern baptist. delta was raised atheist and in fact i think Martino was probably a total snob about it and made him read Space Richard Dawkins. none of them are particularly spiritual but paris and lorelai are both weirdly superstitious. paris believes in the afterlife.

destroyer does not have good religious lore but i did once canonize Space Catholicism so i could make a dick-sucking joke

[fruitybashir]

it's been 3 minutes since i read the last chapter and i just wanna ask how are our boys doing right now? will they eventually tell kris' parents that they were fake-dating but are together now? was the first officially-in-a-relationship sex good? how long has bojan been in love with kris? did he realize it during their whole friends-with-benefits thing or earlier?

okay okay okay lets get into it

1. how are they doing right now? well timeline wise, currently they are suffering. but right after the end of the fic? doing fantastic. im imagining since its a friday, kris takes another sick day and bojan skips his classes just bc fuck that, and they just went through a lot and finally have each other again and theyre both not willing to let the other out of their sight again for even just a second. kiki has probably noticed kris has not been doing so well lately, so he gladly covers kris' shift. they're gonna just lie in bed a little bit, answer texts from the other guys making sure the others know theyre doing fine, and then they take jans advice and fuck like rabbits.

on saturday they go to band practice together again and maybe just bc kris is a little shit hes gonna go "yeah the song was nice but the guitar could use some improvement" and maybe thats when they start working a third guitar into songs instead of just kris taking over bojans parts? who knows?

2. will they tell kris' parents that theyre fake-dating but together now? i think kris would want to keep that one a secret, mainly bc he knows theyre never gonna let him live it down and maks definitely wont, but he (very begrudgingly) does tell them. and they have a good laugh about it. for all eternity. bc i think miha and chantal are the kind of people who would find that shit hilaaaaaarious and bring it up all the time, they think its very very funny

and they also obv love bojan and are very glad to have him properly in their family now <3

3. was the first in-relarionship sex good? it was the fucking best. they didnt have to hold back anymore and enough "i love you"s were said to fill a book with it and then some. it was incredible.

4. how long has bojan been in love with kris? god i wish i knew. i just write the guy, i dont know what the fuck is going on inside his head. i think hes had a mild crush on kris for a while, over the last few years, not very deep or meaningful, mostly when kris picked up jan or smthn bojan would go "damn hes handsome" but that was the extent of it - also bc he was still struggling with his sexuality then.

i think over the holidate timeline .. hm. i imagine that crush skyrocketed when kris just slammed him against the wall that one night and then proceeded to give him the best head hes ever had lol. and i think he definitely acknowledged it as a crush then and it slowly developed into more. i think he maybe realised he was in love shortly after kris stayed with him when he was sick? the major factors there being that kris didnt just take care of him, but actually cared for him. he didnt just drop off some meds and left, he actually took the time to stay with bojan, took a sick day just to be with him, cooked for him, made sure he ate and drank enough, kept him company, everything. thats already an admission of love if you ask me. (both platonically or romantically) but that really did a number on bojan.

i even think bojan let himself admit that it was love pretty early on, but always had the safety layer of "we're just doing this for fun, so its okay if im in love with him bc the "only" consequence is having my own heart broken lol" but then when kris wrote him dopamin and bojan realised this could all be real, suddenly there were more potential consequences to deal with and well you read the last chapter lol

[vikersund]

Hi! I hope this post won't flop </3

first of all I wanted to finally reveal myself on this platform - many of you know me as Himbeertee_ on tiktok and twitter, Hello! Yes, I'm also here :P

I felt like last few days were like a fever dream - so I decided to write a summary/recap of my journey to Stozice.

It was not my first Joker Out show, last month I was in Żalec and both times I traveled by train and bus, so if anyone wonders how to get to Slovenia from Poland - the cheapest way is by Flixbus, but the fastest is by plane. I spent 5 hours in train and 11 hours in bus and it was only one way ride.

Me and my friend arrived at the arena around 4pm and we were 24/25 in the queue and we ended up at barricade in front of Kris, thanks to long catwalk and very long barricade. (I wanted to be at Kris' side, because duuuh i'm a Kris girlie).

If it comes to new merch - there were new winter beanies, new shirts, hoodies, socks, UM and Demoni CD's, condoms, new notebook (juhuhu hahaha), new tote bags and if you ask me... well.. those shirts didn't look good at least for me, but the rest of it was fine. I bought baby boos socks, because (to the unpopular opinion) I love the name xD

If it comes to the show alone, I will try to describe few songs. As you might have seen on twitter I managed to get the setlist (which was leaked at least day before - and unfortunately i saw some of it so I didnt experience the surprise).

The live-from-backstage intro was so cool, like I had chills, the screen was turning from the backstage to black screen or to joker out sign with the music that made your heart beat to it, it definitely built an atmosphere, we saw Jo getting ready to rock the stage, Kris leading the 5 of them to the stage from backstage, then they finally came from behind drums, which was such a cool entrance!

First song was Sunny Side of London - and now I understand that they picked it as an opener because of the "welcome" at the beginning, but when I first heard it i was kinda sceptical why is this the first song. People from the brass band joined them for the iconic balcan solo (dare I say - Kris outwhored himself during the solo).

Then we screamed for the record and we beat it, but honestly I think that the result should be higher, but because it was such an open space, the device didnt gather the sound as good as in smaller venues.

Then gola and bele sanje - honestly don't remember much of it because I was enjoying myself, maybe a little too much, but the guitar transition from bele sanje to plastika was sooooo good.

Plastika oh plastika! This song is made for concerts, everyone were screaming their lungs off and Bojan was everywhere, including the cat walk.

Proti toku - what can I say other than justice for Proti Toku! Like i dont understand why they abandoned this song at the shows...

As you already know I was at Kris' side and I had the best view on him, let me tell you. This man didn't hold back during dopamin, his moves were electric and there should be another twitter account "Kris shuffles to:"

Padam - Bojan sang the song laying on the catwalk for the entire length of the song and for a moment I was so confused where he went, because I didn't see him at first.

Then after Padam we had a small break, that included screenings of pre-eurovision clips from their vlogs and during that everyone was lying on the stage (not sure about Jure tho).

Then demoni happened and the Iconic scream was... well... demonic xD Bojan ended up almost on all fours in front of 12k audience. You're welcome or something.

Katrina - is another song which was made to being played on stage. I loved the red and white lights especially, bojan was very slutty and we were introduced to releasing fumes from the pyro stuff (not real pyro or fire on their show in Stozice).

ASTP - AMAZING intro played by a dude with trumpet, I had chills, Bojan was sitting on his knees on the stage, listening to it. I'll try to upload it to tiktok later! It is one of my fav songs. Great vocals from Bojan and Kris, the second one was very slutty af during the song (who is surprised at this point?). No Janace ending, Jan ended the song playing at the end of catwalk, nice moment between Nace and Bojan.

Omamljeno Telo - well this is the only JO song that I am not that much a fan of, but they definitely delivered their perfomance, especially when everyone went to the catwalk. We had Kris/Nace moment during the song.

Kot Srce Ki Kri Poganja - will you banish me If I tell you that I have never heard any of their unreleased songs?

Anyway I LOVED THIS SONG, can they release it on new album please? I already knew that Martin will join them because I saw pics from backstage before the show, but I was surprised to see Matic there. This songs slaps and I fell in love with the vibe martin gave while playing the bass. I couldnt stop staring at him, he was magnetic and so happy to play with others. I might cry a little when Nace gave him his bass. I loved how everyone was hugging each other before and after the song. Such a heartwarming moment, even if Martin doesnt play anymore, you could definitely see that he is still part of the family <3

Metulji - amazing perfomance, again they delivered, love the song, also amazing Jan solo at the end of the song, kinda improvised i think? At least I have never heard those sounds before.

Vse Kar Vem - well, you know who I was focused on xD I guess I have a new Vse Kar Vem iconic video for you xD

NGVOT - before the song I was wondering if they will do Tavastia 2.0 with ngvot and the scream i I let out when I saw that Bojan was far from the mic, far enough to be late to start singing the song if he had to, and then I turned to look at Kris and I already knew. This is all I've been asking for. I'm so glad that Kris is more comfortable to sing the first verse, his voice was more relaxed, less shaky than in Tavastia, I loved the way he sang "ti pa barvo las" the way Bojan does. But I still think he has to work a little bit on his voice, because I know he CAN sing (from other videos). I wonder if they will leave this song as a duet for other shows in the future or If it was like one-time thing.

Vem Da Gres - all I remember was Nace on our side and how handsome he looked. I'm not a Nace girlie, but I can definitely see why others are, and his new hair and the outfit... asdfgrew

Ne Bi Smel - this time Jan joined our side and he had a nice moment with Bojan

Ona - Another time when men from brass band joined and it was the song which had changed arrangement. I loved it. the whole vibe of the song stayed the same, but the brass instruments elevated it. (If i think about any fuck ups during the show - it happened here - the mic of the Saxophone guy didnt work at first, I've heard him from the front row, but idk if people in the back have heard him). During this song they also showed me and my friend on the screen and i cant stop thinking about how the hell it happened xD Now i am immortal in joker out stozice lore xD

Tokio - honestly don't remember what was happening - probably I was just screaming and singing.

Umazane Misli - i loved it. I LOVED IT. The way Bojan was demanding the audience who and when should they sing, and then he came down to us and let 2 people sing, and he received the THREE KAKSI ANANAS LONKERO shirt and he loved it so much, he was so smiley and took this shirt with him on the stage.

Novi val - I almost cried. This is my fav song, and thanks to Joker Out Subs and Spela the project came true, the coloful lights flashed beautifully above boy's heads. We and them were touched and it was such a special moment. At the beginning of Novi Val Jure came to our side and we could see his outfit from the closer proximity, and dare I say it was second best after Kris'.

Last but not least - Carpe Diem. After novi val they left the stage, but everyone knew it wasnt over. The break was too long and It just clicked in my head that what if they are changing into their Eurovision clothes. AND THEY DID. I just predicted it seconds before it happened. It was unreal - like i just travelled back in time 5 months.

Overall it was the best night of my life. Everything was perfect. The lights were amazing. The stage was amazing. Clothes - god, the amount of details on each outfit! Personally I think Kris and Jure had the best outfits. I couldnt really see Jan and Nace outfit details, but the looked GOOD. But if I have to complain - not a fan of detachable sleeves on Bojan's shirt.

They all delivered their performances. Not a single mistake - i am so impressed because thats a skill.

We all agree that Kris outdid himself that night. The way he moved, the way he sang, the way he was SO CONFIDENT. Like he was born to be in that exact moment.

I also loved every single interaction between boys, the group ones, or the doubles. Maybe there was no Jan and Nace astp ending but they had few moments. It was so nice to see Jan and Bojan jamming together, Kris and Nace doing their thing, Bojan and Kris' little shenanigans and even Jure and Jan had their moment when Jan ran to him at the beginning of the show.

I also love how they had movie-like credits. Everyone from their crew was credited, every person who worked on the show, team of photographers etc.

Other thing was how nice it was to being supplied with water all the time. The people behind barricade were giving us cups with water all the time, and even at the end of the show we got whole bottles.

Please don't take this post as a proper review - these are just my thoughts of the show <3