#and the communication on it was unfortunately shit

[mothmans-left-buttcheek]

This fic is just a treat, I’m dropping my in-time-reactions to it just cause I had a great time reading it😂

“His stride was casual as one could be, whilst battling both midwestern humidity and pit sweat in a white hand-me-down Jimi Hendrix shirt and sleeveless denim vest.” Oh my god… oh, my god.

“until one day your mother caught him by the ear and brought him in to mend his tattered jeans and offer up a hot meal.” HAHAHAHAHAHA!! Go mom!

“and making Stanley Kubrick films your new big boy personalities.” And some people never grow out of it oh my fucking god, on a personal note I went to film school and the film bro stereotype is so real. Now in this fic the reader is fem and there really isn’t a stereotype for women in film to fit into, so there’s hope that she’ll recover and allow Stanley Kubrick to be one of her interests and not her whole personality when she grows up😂

“You had wanted to write about Caligula so you could use the word ‘orgy’ in the report without getting in trouble” oh no

“but Eddie had insisted he had a better idea when he discovered a two years tumultuous ruling of brothers from 209 AD to 211 AD.” Oh no

“Also, here’s a better word for you to learn: fratricide.” OH NO

“Yes! Or the syph!” DOES SHE MEAN SYPHILIS??? WHERE WOULD A MIDDLE SCHOOL BOY GET SYPHILIS FROM????

“The kiss with Cindy was real, unfortunately. It happened way before Cindy was kept home with mono, and you remembered the incident well.” So then where did Cindy get mono that lying little eleven year old bitch???

“and that pretty soon he’d be popping girl’s cherries left and right.” BRO DOESNT GET LAID TILL HIS (first) SENIOR YEAR OF HIGH SCHOOL PLEASE SOMEONE BRING THIS BABY BOYS HOPES DOWN BEFORE HE GETS LOST IN THE STRATOSPHERE

“Yet Cindy and Tommy Hagan swapped spit once, and both were out of commission.” SHUT THE FUCK UP TOMMY HAGAN??? That ass kisser the plot completely forgot about by season three??? Yeah of course he’d get mono in middle school that fucking cuck

“But no one would ever say anything about Tommy Hagan getting mono.” I WOULD!! SHIT I WILL, LEMME PICK ON A MIDDLE SCHOOLER PLEASE

“In a world of traitors— where brothers stabbed brothers in the arms of their mothers, or where violent men disowned each other with drug laced milk bottles to the face, you would always pick instead to be Eddie Munson’s loyal droog.” Okay that went hard af

“I HAVE SHARED OF THE COOTIE WITH A WOMAN-” KANGKANDISJDJDJ

“GOD SANCTIONED DROOG MARRIAGE CO-RULER ULTRA-VIOLENCE! MAZEL TOV!” L’chaim!!

“THE IMPERIAL HUSBAND NOW DEMANDS TO KISS THE DROOG BRIDE!” Eddie screamed, “PLANT ONE ON ME, GODDESS DIVINE OF THE REPUBLIC OF HAWKINS!!” No way, wait, you’re lying

“… when— without warning— you took off towards Eddie, and planted a fat wet kiss on his mouth. He froze for a moment, but returned the kiss with fervor, making an obnoxious hum and wet smack when you pulled away.” Oh my god kids are so gross😂 (this is a really cute moment though)

“Chessie had long since taken off for the gated community of Loch Nora on her bike.” I KNOW THATS RIGHT

“Hey… Only the best and finest gems and refreshments for Empress Droog the First of Hawkins, Indiana.” Eddie said with a confident smile.” Oh my lord I just know that’s gonna stick around till their married and own a house

Who knew a film about freewill, conditioning, and the conscious choices between good or evil could elicit such a sweet romance? It’s so innocent and wholesome, while taking inspiration from a film that’s anything but. But isn’t that just like Eddie and an MC who takes after him? Enjoying dark and taboo subjects while still being pleasant🖤

Be My Wife: Eddie Munson x Fem!Reader

Summary: A “friend” freaks out when you split a Coke with Eddie the Freak.

Warnings: references to A Clockwork Orange, bullying, STI/STD mention, backwash drinking

A/N: So… I know this isn’t a Christmas fic. But I wrote this because I had those times in my youth where someone spread horrid rumors about either me or my friends, and I had to make those split second decisions to determine my loyalty. I always try to be loyal as best I can.

Thank you to @writhingg for giving the green light on this fic. And big thanks to @rxqueenotd and @melodymunson as well. And big thanks to viewers like you. Thank you. ❤️

Resources: @strangergraphics-archive for the dividers.

Taglist: @ali-r3n @melodymunson @twihard28

“Hey droogie, can I have a sip of your Coke?”

You looked up from where you were perched on the pony wall by the Seven Eleven bike rack. You had been chatting with a classmate, Chessie Hagar, about purchasing a purse from her mother’s Avon Colorworks catalog. It was a new collection for the year 1977. Said eye catching magazine with its spread of rainbow themed products was currently held between the two of you, and the pages began to rattle as Chessie shook in fear upon hearing the deep voice.

A flutter-smack sounded from the girl dropping the catalog when Eddie The Freak approached. His stride was casual as one could be, whilst battling both midwestern humidity and pit sweat in a white hand-me-down Jimi Hendrix shirt and sleeveless denim vest. As one of the middle schoolers who had been blessed with a growth spurt, his lanky height, shredded second hand clothes, and shaved head often made those in your grade— and some of those above— piss their pants.

You alone did not fear him.

The Fates had elected to weave you both in a tangled web of coincidences: you had been his project partner in every shared class since you started at Hawkins Middle School together, and you just so happened to live in the same neighborhood on occasion. The distance from Al Munson’s janky two bedroom home to yours was but a hop skip and a jump. Eddie used to ding dong ditch your house when he was six, until one day your mother caught him by the ear and brought him in to mend his tattered jeans and offer up a hot meal.

To any other rando, he was an unstable pariah. But to you, he was just Eddie Munson— the cute boy next door who sometimes ate at your place. And you had become his droog after spending winter 1972 sneaking into the Hawk Theater, and making Stanley Kubrick films your new big boy personalities.

Without thinking, you handed the soft drink over. His fingers brushed against yours as he took the Coke out of your grip and went for a swig, with plush pink lips wrapping around the transparent jade glass of the lip and neck. His protruding Adam’s apple was bobbing with the rhythmic gulping, and you couldn’t stop staring.

“Thanks.” He belched out.

“You said a sip, not half the goddamn bottle!” You whined.

Eddie grinned sheepishly and backwashed a good mouthful. Giving a half assed apology and a promise to pay you back mumbled under his breath, he handed the bottle back.

“Still up for doing last minute project prep?” You asked, swirling the leftovers he’d saved for you.

“Nah, let’s take a break from the train wreck brothers. Catch you tomorrow, though?” He said, scratching a blackhead off his nose and snorting a bit, “I had an idea for the oral report that might earn us a little extra credit. Think you can mimic a British accent?”

“Eh. Can’t do an accent without sounding like fucking Alex DeLarge.” You groused.

“We can work on that. Leave your milk-plus at home, though. Don’t want me own droog reenacting some Roman ultra violence on me.”

“Just don’t go popping out from behind your curtains at me again, that’s a good way to get stabbed in the neck with my mom’s kitchen scissors.” You snorted.

“Ahhh, the droog’s no fun. I guess I can tone down the surprise pop ups, though. If you insist. Catch you later?” Eddie said, waving.

“Later. Peace out, man.”

Chessie let out a shaky, sobbing exhale when you made to drink the dregs of your soda, and you turned and raised an eyebrow.

“Whassamatter?” You asked.

“Are you nuts?! You just shared your drink with the freak!” She blurted out.

… since when the hell was sharing with Eddie a crime?

“Yeah, so? It’s hot out. He looked thirsty.” You said.

“Did you seriously forget everything we’ve heard about him?!” She whisper-screamed, “Don’t you care what everyone talks about?!”

You rolled your eyes. Everyone talked about Eddie. If you hadn’t heard at least one rumor from a faceless student whenever he walked by, you were either stupid or living under a rock. They said he was a bad boy— yes, even with a full vocabulary of slurs and insults available, they still called him a bad boy. Like if he was still in diapers drawing with crayon on the wall, and needed a spanking.

Depending on who you asked, Eddie either did or sold drugs, it was never clear which. Some of the other trailer park kids said he was a mean scrapper when he went to his uncle’s on alternate weeks. Women’s restroom lore stated that he carried a switchblade in the back pocket of his Wrangler jeans, and that he used it to torture animals for his Satanic rituals.

A million and one things were said about him on the daily, but you knew none of them were true in the slightest. None of the talk deterred you from spending time with him. Sometimes he came to your house, more often than not you went to his.

Every other day found the two of you parked in front of his mom’s turntable, jamming to Deep Purple and putting together an elaborate poster board with some spray painted fake leaves made into laurel crowns, along with a block of text about your chosen co-emperor of the early Roman Empire.

You had wanted to write about Caligula so you could use the word ‘orgy’ in the report without getting in trouble, but Eddie had insisted he had a better idea when he discovered a two years tumultuous ruling of brothers from 209 AD to 211 AD.

“As much as I love a good sex party on paper, you just know that’s what everyone else is gonna write about. Let’s write about this nut job Caracalla instead! Dude killed his brother in the arms of his mother, and struck his name from the record. That’s like, the most metal shit ever! Also, here’s a better word for you to learn: fratricide. Apparently there’s a whole list of technical terms for when you kill a family member.”

“… what’s the rumor mill gotta do with my Coke?” You deadpanned.

“If you drink after him, you’re gonna get mono like Cindy! You gotta throw it out!”

Cindy Bishop in your science class had told everyone that had functional ears— swearing up and down on her life— that Eddie Munson had kissed her and given her mononucleosis. A dreaded affliction whose nickname to you sounded like one of the variations of sound formats for any sort of audio.

“Mono…?”

“Yes! Or the syph!”

You knew Eddie had to have heard Chessie’s vitriol. Turning around, you could see him staring at the two of you from across the parking lot, one leg over his bike. There was a stinging look of betrayal on his face. Telltale signs of a wet cherry nose and shameful red cheeks gave away his mistrust; as if he was expecting you to do as your friend told, and throw the bottle he drank from in the trash.

His imaginary affliction was just that: imaginary. You knew that to be gospel.

The kiss with Cindy was real, unfortunately. It happened way before Cindy was kept home with mono, and you remembered the incident well. Eddie had come running to your house just to brag that he’d finally gotten his first kiss, and that pretty soon he’d be popping girl’s cherries left and right.

Just learning about the simple kiss had pissed you off, because the closest you’d ever gotten to kissing Eddie was sharing the same fork whenever you both roasted Vienna sausages on the gas burner in his kitchen. Eddie hadn’t been sick when Cindy stayed home, he came faithfully to school to trap you on the playground and speculate about the thousand and one hidden meanings behind the kiss.

With all the excitement, he never noticed the smallest details like you did. One of the guys in your PE class had been sent home with a rash and a high fever, and it was only a month after Cindy was rumored to have also kissed the collapsed boy that she got sick. You had always shared cups, utensils, and other things requiring mouth use with Eddie and had been fine. Yet Cindy and Tommy Hagan swapped spit once, and both were out of commission.

But no one would ever say anything about Tommy Hagan getting mono. They’d always redirect every disease outbreak to the poor loser who split time between Cherry Street and Forest Hills Trailer Park. The same poor loser who had the misfortune of wasting his first kiss with Cindy; a girl who frenched behind the portable classrooms with anything that had a pulse. People could be so blind and stupid, they failed to notice the sickness timelines were not matching up.

No one deserved their first anything to be with Cindy. Not with the way she stabbed people in the back.

You took a long, hard pause as you stared into Eddie’s wet brown eyes. He was asking you a silent question you already knew the answer to: were you a stinking traitorous droog, or a loyal one? Were you, his one friend in the entire world, going to stand against him?

Without saying a word, you looked at Chessie, then looked back again at Eddie.

In a world of traitors— where brothers stabbed brothers in the arms of their mothers, or where violent men disowned each other with drug laced milk bottles to the face, you would always pick instead to be Eddie Munson’s loyal droog.

You lathed at the lip of the bottle and stuck your tongue down the neck, and shotgunned all of Eddie’s backwash.

Chessie’s mouth dropped open as she began to gag, and Eddie opened his mouth in an obnoxious and breathless laugh as you chugged the entirety of his germs. The carbonation caught up to you, so you let a belch rip before turning back around to face him.

“I GOT YOUR MONO NOW, MUNSON!” You screamed out to him, “NOW YOU GOTTA MARRY ME!”

“IS THAT HOW IT WORKS, DROOGIE?” He shouted back, a shit eating grin stretched across his face, “YOU SHOULD HAVE LET ME KNOW BEFORE I TOOK A SWIG, I WOULD HAVE MADE SURE I GOT YOU A RING POP FIRST!”

“IT'S GODDAMN ROMAN CONFARREATIO LAWS, EDDIE! YOU GAVE ME MONO INSTEAD OF SPELT BREAD, NOW YOU GOTTA MARRY ME!” You joked.

You noticed from the big, smart ass grin that he was about to do something outrageous, and your heart began to sing. He immediately got to his knee on the asphalt, everyone in the Seven Eleven parking lot watching as he began to scream like an orator in the colosseum. He used your full government name and everything when he called out to the small parking lot audience.

“HEAR ME, CITIZENS OF HAWKINS! I AM BUT A VESSEL FOR THE GODS, A BEARER, A MESSENGER OF THAT MOST HOLY WORD FROM MOUNT OLYMPUS! I HAVE SHARED OF THE COOTIE WITH A WOMAN, AND THUS OUR MARRIAGE BETWEEN EMPEROR AND DROOG IS SOLEMNIZED-…!”

“SHUT THE FUCK UP, FREAK!” Someone called out, immediately flinching back when Eddie rounded on him.

“THE GODS. HAVE. SPOKEN!” Eddie screeched, a glob of spit flying out of his mouth and onto the hot asphalt.

He was wide eyed. Deranged. Eddie lifted up the hem of his denim vest and held it out and to the side, to look like wings unfurling, screaming to the heavens as you began howling with him.

“YEAH!” You screamed out, raising your bottle and shouting every bit of nonsense you could think of, “GOD SANCTIONED DROOG MARRIAGE CO-RULER ULTRA-VIOLENCE! MAZEL TOV!”

“THE IMPERIAL HUSBAND NOW DEMANDS TO KISS THE DROOG BRIDE!” Eddie screamed, “PLANT ONE ON ME, GODDESS DIVINE OF THE REPUBLIC OF HAWKINS!!”

You looked at Chessie, who looked as if she was going to throw up or scream. It wasn’t immediately clear which. Instead of ending the joke, you grinned. Shrugged. The glossy magazine paper pages of the forgotten Avon Colorworks catalog ripped under the tread of your shoes when— without warning— you took off towards Eddie, and planted a fat wet kiss on his mouth. He froze for a moment, but returned the kiss with fervor, making an obnoxious hum and wet smack when you pulled away.

“Yum.” You gushed, licking your lips and changing your cadence to the unhinged Kubrick Cockney, “Them’s tasty cooties, they are, brother sir!”

“Yeah? Them false cytomegalovirus germs are what taste good to ya, droog?” He laughed, wrapping his arms around you and putting on his own terrible accent.

“That they are, sir, that’s what gives all me food and drink that plus flavor.” You grinned.

The two of you cackled, thoroughly enjoying throwing out random quotes and various insanities that to the normal person would put them off of your insanity and edge-lord humor. Chessie had long since taken off for the gated community of Loch Nora on her bike, but you didn’t care. You could live without a selection of eyeshadows, a rainbow tote purse, and all of your false friends if the choice came down to choosing them, or Eddie.

“Wanna go into the gas station and split another bottle of mono before we blow this joint?” You asked.

His grin could have rivaled that of Malcolm McDowell.

“Now, how can I say no to my new wife?” He grinned, holding out his arm for you to take, “But I am a man of my word, so you’re getting a new Coke, plus that Ring Pop so’s we can make this thing official.”

“Spare no expense, huh?” You grinned, and he pulled you in closer. Both of your hips knocking together.

“Hey… Only the best and finest gems and refreshments for Empress Droog the First of Hawkins, Indiana.” Eddie said with a confident smile.

You smiled at him, nudging one another with your bodies all the way into the gas station, until he pulled you in for another sloppy kiss in the middle of the snack aisle.

[confessionsofa-roleplayer]

I recently found a blog from 2012 that I once wrote with. Twelve years ago when I first started roleplaying on Tumblr. It was an adult fandom with heavy adult themes. We used language that's 'unacceptable' today, we wrote plotlines that are easily 'cancelled' today, we spoke to each other only through Tumblr asks and fanmail (remember that??). Going through the blog, I had a wave of nostalgia and happiness like I've not had in a long time. The comradery and goofy plots, not one person bothered by the mad shit we wrote. For me, that was the best time in roleplay. I know that there were a few rotten apples and I know that discord and IM are great for active plotting and communication. But back then, things were just different. You wrote on the fly and you wrote in character which prompted you to think on your feet more and wing more plots. The only partners you spoke to ooc were the ones who you really grew close to. You didn't just blindly add every partner on social media. You weren't worried about what you posted because people didn't care back then about words - it was much harder to offend people then as it is now. I miss those days so desperately and when it comes to rp, what I wouldn't give to experience that fandom and that feeling once more. It can't ever be recaptured unfortunately, but it was heart warming to see a little reminder of it. Wherever you are now, writing partner from twelve years ago in a small, numbered title of a popularish game series, I hope you're doing well and thank you for the memories.

[the-owl-tree]

what are your thoughts on lion king as xenofiction? it's obviously one of the most accessible and largest media that's xenofiction and i think it shares similarities w warriors with it's more rightwing undertones esp regarding divine right of kings/rulers and an honor code system that leans fascist when u think about it.

(None of this disclaimer is directed at you anon) Before I get any yelling at me for reading too deeply into this, (1) you are on the Reading Too Deeply Into Things blog and (2) watch this podcast episode about nazi furries where the Lion King was used as intro material and had the Circle of Life rewritten to be about being proud of being white (skip to 29:47 if you just want that bit).

"But Deer, that's not the Lion King's fault that they rewrote the song!" Okay but why did they use the Lion King? What themes, unintentionally presented, could people in this community pick up on that they use this movie as recruitment material? What choices in the casting of the hyenas and ideas about some species being destined to rule might appeal to a certain demographic? No, I am not trying to ""cancel"" the Lion King, I am trying to make people think why the Lion King has (unintentional) right wing themes and who that attracts.

"But that's not the writer's intention!" Meaning is made through the act of reading as well, there is no such thing as one true interpretation. You can read something and have a wholly different takeaway than what the author intended. Animals as an allegory for human relationships and structures are going to take that weight regardless. Analysis and making meaning is not an indictment on the writer, it is a part of engaging with art. Right-wing voices already shit themselves at the Washington Post's article trying to talk about this, please do not make me relive that era or I'll make fun of you.

Sorry for the hefty disclaimer, people get really mad about topics like this, especially when it comes to something so beloved.

The Lion King is decidedly not about lions lol the lions are a shorthand to signify royalty, it is Hamlet with animals! They are visual shorthands for the audience to understand the character's relationships with one another with the lions, lead by a king, as our royal family and utilizing hyenas, lions enemies in nature, as an antagonistic force. It's similar to how Disney's Robin Hood is also not about animals, it is using animals as visual shorthands for the audience to understand these characters (Robin is the sly and clever fox, Prince John is a scrawny lion signifying his royal status but the lack of mane implies shortcomings, and so on; also not without its shortcomings, man I wonder why Lady Marian is a fox and not a lion in this, what sort of implications were you trying to avoid, Disney?).

The Lion King is uninterested in the perspective of an actual lion, of a creature that does not share human morality and concepts of death and yada yada. Which is fine! It's pretty straightforward about this, but that doesn't erase that animal allegories still come with loads of baggage, especially with the voice direction of the hyenas and how that reflects with the overwhelmingly white cast of the original (there's like four major black voice actors in the cast with james early jones as mufasa, robert gullaume as rafiki, madge sinclair as sarabi, and whoopi goldberg as shenzi. minor roles that include black actors are jason weaver as young simba's singing voice and niketa calame as young nala's singing voice.)

So while I don't think the Lion King in itself is as intentional as Warriors can be about their right-wing themes, I do think that it's not an invalid or even that big of a stretch to read said themes in the Lion King. I actually quite like this video that discusses themes of Judaism in Lion King 1/2, it touches on the unfortunate implications and undertones that the Lion King 1/2 builds up from the basis that the Lion King set down.

I actually find it really interesting how the Lion Guard, a school for preschoolers, tried to engage with a lot of these criticisms. Whether or not they succeeded, up to you, but something about them engaging with "lion supremacy" and even the unfortunate subtext of the hyenas later on is really fascinating to me.

Okay, I've rambled a lot, hopefully I've made some sort of point here lmao but yeah! I agree, I can absolutely read a lot of the unintentional themes and subtext the films have when it comes how they utilize animals in relation to power dynamics. There is a concrete analysis to be made here, even if that's not the intention. I'd say as a piece of xenofiction, the Lion King is not actually that interested in animals, they are merely actors for a human drama. Which, you know, is what a lot of people seem to think xenofiction is unfortunately.

[heartru]

my least favourite thing from the watcher discourse has been people saying “WE never asked for higher quality” or “your most popular shows are where you just sit around and talk!!” - babes its likely not what THEY want to do for the rest of eternity lol. they’re allowed to want to grow as creatives and make things they are proud of?

[idolomantises]

How it feels writing an angel/demon character that’s into violent/scary people and you get a bunch of “Valentino wants to know your number” comments

[bbbbbbbbatman]

When Bruce is feeling petty he'll arrange an interview with the Daily Planet and specifically request Clark, then spend the entire interview in character as Brucie, refusing to break no matter how many times Clark tells him to knock it off, and then Clark has to write an article on whatever inane topic Bruce could come up with.

[knifearo]

ultimately when it comes to shipping and fandom space treatment of aspec characters i just don't accept "aro/ace people can still date/have sex" as an answer from nonaspecs. like yeah. mhm. okay. now i think we both know that you're not saying that out of real interest in the diversity of aspec experiences. so you can turn in your seventeen-page essay on why and how you plan to examine this character's aspec identity within the context of a romantic or sexual relationship complete with evidence from canon and peer reviews from multiple aspec people within the next week or i'm putting you in the pit from the edgar allen poe story

[softgothbabe]

Messy

[pluralhottakes]

Weird opinion as an endo myself, but;

Not all "anti"-endos are bad

Im sorta friends with someone who doesn't believe in them and to me thats okay, because they are letting me use the term

Its only when they harass people that it's bad

Just because we dont agree about endos doesn't mean we can't talk or we cant be freinds, its just means that endos are a touchy subject or something else, because to be fair, no one can know it all about neuroscience, no one can know every little thing that can lead to an endo, so not everyone needs to believe in it.

to clarify i am VERY pro endo myself, im just saying that not all anti-endos/endo nonbelievers are harmful and hateful

.

[beneathsilverstars]

siffrin post-canon h/c is like "dw you're not actually mean, we love you!" and loop post-canon h/c is like "yes you are mean, and we still love you!"

[garden-of-infinity]

"We need more diverse queer representation in dbd" half of ya'll can't even handle someone headcanoning your fave as aroace

[lightbulb-warning]

i used to freehand comics all the time as a child and since the part i liked was the drawing part i would just draw panel after panel because i didn't want to stop drawing to think about icky icky words, plus the story TOTALLY still made perfect sense! to me! and noone else, but 'whoooo caaaaares omgggg its not like comics and sequantial art are a communicative meeediummmm lmaoooooo'. i spent my entire childhood telling myself stuff like "oh pfft I know this story by heart- ill SIMPLY remember the dialogue and write it later" ...and. I can't help but admire baby maiora's (call that a minora ba tm tsk) fucking audacity? hubris? confident wrongness? kid couldn't even remember to finish the comics in the first place? INCREDIBLE levels of unearned self assurance, wish that were me, genuinely- what an icon!!! anyway i think i have forever cursed myself

[nebulo-philiac]

Stop interacting with minors jfc

OHH I KNOW WHO EXACTLY THIS WAS SENT BY LMAOOOOO, THE ANON AIN'T EVEN HELPING ATP (also I don't go out of my way to interact with minors?!?!)

[angorwhosebabyisthis]

honestly it's been really healing being back to actively contributing things and writing out thoughts on tumblr the last week or so, because while twitter tends to be easier for me to write out Thoughts on without getting overwhelmed, the environment in the twitter fandom circles i'm interested in is not only infested with antis but cliqueish in a way that is caustic to the fucking soul if you try to express a thought that's more than three sentences long--a hundred times over if you're autistic in slightly the wrong way--and it's incredibly reassuring to come back to an environment where the very kindest and most inclusive people toward you are not clearly thinking the r-slur the entire time they interact with you lmao

[thegreatyin]

The Silverer lazily reclines in the Scoundrel's bed. At first, it is unclear where she came from, but the mirrors in the room look recently tampered with- so the answer is easy to arrive at.

"Fingerkings." she says. "Your semi-loyalty to cats has always been a mystery to me; you've never been the kind to be loyal to any army. Why is it that you scorn my friends so?"

The Scoundrel stops in their doorway for approximately one straight minute. They blink once. Twice.

They promptly skip over and flop beside the intruder with a huff, resting their head on her shoulder as they study their claws in abject boredom. It's surprisingly cuddly, all things considered. They almost seem content in this position.

"One," they hold up a finger, "The cats provide an essential service. They pay us for our time at Port Carnelian. We pay them in kind. We have long-since established a working relationship. It would be a shame to break that establishment now... and thus, their enemies are our enemies."

"Two," yet another finger, "As persons- tja, animals- of noble status, it is only right that they rule Parabola. It's merely the natural order of things. The Fingerkings refuse to recognize that claim, and they should be punished accordingly."

"Three," they bring this finger over to tap at the Silverer's nose, "Your beloved serpents are duplicitous and vile and cats are adorable, delightful creatures, who have never done anything wrong in their lives. Ja, even regarding the Sixth Coil."

Before the Silverer can retort, the Scoundrel raises a fourth finger- and then their thumb, just for the apparent hell of it, patting her cheeks with a satisfied purr. "Four. It is a bother to you in particular. And we do love the faces you make..."

They trail off, meeting her gaze.

Their cheeks flush. Their ears twitch. They blink furiously, then turn away and shove their heel against her shoulder.

"Which is all to say, get out of our spire already!!" they point towards the door with a chirp bordering on a shriek. "You have a perfectly good paramour to steal a bed from!!! He wouldn't even complain about it!!!! This is our room!!!!!! Out!!!!!!!!"

A productive conversation, this was not.

[queerstudiesnatural]

mothers. oof.