#and that’s been true in every fandom I’ve been in for 20+ years

[doublel27]

I love all your takes on fandom, ships, queer media, so I want to ask, what do you think about writing fanfic of real people ie. Thai BL couple? I'm coming back to fandom (K-pop to Thai BL specifically) after years and I'm having this urge to write fanfic of this branded pair that I like, like an AU version of them some sort. I have always wanted to write my own romance novels so I figure this could be a way to practice writing, but when I was still in K-pop fandom on Twitter, I was constantly told that writing fanfic shipping real people is weird. Honestly the thought of writing about a ship in this K-pop group I like still weird me out (although I do ship them) and is not exciting. But I have no problem putting the Thai BL pair into the stories I have in my head. I have spent hours consuming fanfics of them on Thai novel site using Google Translate. Also, Thai fandom has this thing where instead of the actor's name, it usually would be character's name with their face attached to it, like they are acting and the fanfic is a script, which make reading them more fun, open up more possibilities and dynamics. Would love to hear your thoughts. Thank you and sorry for the bad English. 🙏🏻

Hi Nonnie,

Thanks for the complement and coming here with this ask. I appreciate the kind words very much.

As far as real-person fanfic (RPF)I think it gets a lot of hate from a lot of people, but also it’s super common in the world in general and not just in unpaid fanfic circles. While I don’t write RPF myself, I’ve always had friends who did and do, and I see no real problem with it. As long as you’re not tagging the real people in it, I have no problem with its existence.

A huge problem and conflation with RPF being a huge toxic problem is that it assumes that everyone writing RPF is a toxic fan (tin-hat, sasaeng, etc) who is out there demanding that those real people get together and that by writing about the possibility of them potentially being together you are removing their agency and are being creepy and forceful. The reality is that most people who read and write RPF are normal fans with normal boundaries who know it’s all fiction and all in good fun, and it’s just a few bad apples that ruin the fun because they cannot separate the person from the object that has been created and is being packaged as a commodity (which is what the personas of famous people are).

I think in Thai BL fandom there’s an added layer of ease because they’ve already adopted an RPF model of promotion to sell their pairs and shows. Now whether any of those men are actually together in real life, there is a performance of a level of intimacy they perform in front of crowds and social media. Because the imagined couple or branded couple or CP already exists as a fantasy for fans to enjoy, there’s a level of implicit buy-in from the artists that doesn’t necessarily exist in other fandom spaces. This may be why it’s easier for you to enjoy it in Thai BL fandom than in another.

But real people write and profit off of RPF all the time. Every biopic in Hollywood tells an imagined story about a real-life figure and their real life events. People win whole Oscars for their depictions of RPF!! Hamilton is an excellent example of a viral musical that is an RPF story come to life, especially the Hamilton/Angelica storyline as she was already married long before they met. Evita is another classic RPF musical that is beloved by the people. The myth of Anastasia and the beloved 1998 animated classic is a hopeful bit of RPF that has existed in some form or another since the fall of the Russian royalty (though the grand duchess receiving girls who pretended to be Anastasia is a real event so…RPF). The Crown on Netflix is RPF. I think time and distance helps people not feel it’s less weird, like if the person isn’t going to see it then maybe it’s fine.

I think RPF also gets a bad name because it’s largely what tabloids and gossip blogs have long traded on. Especially as tabloids and gossip columns trade in stories that are aggressive and accusatory and demeaning, and are meant for the personalities in question to see and are reported to be true. A lot of people conflate the two things.

My best practices for RPF run about the same as general fanfiction: keep it to fan sites like the one you’re currently reading it on (or tumblr, or AO3, or any of the many options out there), if you’re going to share it on Twitter or Instagram (which I’m old and wouldn’t because I belligerent in a healthy level of separation - the way I can’t with people just casually adding omega verse comments and retweets to pictures on public forums) don’t @ them and even be careful using hashtags because if actors want to read that they should go looking for it like the rest of us, and generally just be respectful of the artists and their life and their personal boundaries. General rule of thumb for interactions with everyone: if it’s not something they can change in 5 minutes or something wildly not okay, don’t comment on a persons actions or decisions.

And that’s about it. I hope you write what you want to write. What you’re talking about, using them almost as a dream cast for your original fiction is also barely in the RPF category. I hope you have fun. Your English was fantastic (said as a lifelong English speaker who has taught the language and am unsure how proficient any of us are with this creole of a language).

Oh and if you’re messing around in Thai BL RPF just know that Joong Archen may find whatever you write and read it. We have a deal, Joong, I know you’re out here somewhere but I would like to keep my old lady sensibilities and pretend that my fandom life is still kept relatively separate from the artists.

[a-bit-too-critical]

I-Is Ayylmao trying to suck up to the critical community now???

(Don’t harass Ayylmao of course please!!! I just saw this and freaking died laughing, I knew I had to call him out on this crap)

Literally saw that profile picture and thought “why the fuck are you even here-“

YOU ARE THE ONE MAKING THE YOUTUBE SHORTS YOU IDIOT 😭

I’ve seen bro make the same short over and over about how “did you know that Alastor died being mistaken for a deer???? Vivzie said this at timestamp 4:20:00 in a livestream 10 years ago!!! W O W!!!!!!!

This so far genuinely just feels like someone sarcastically poking fun at him I can’t actually believe he wrote this 100% seriously himself 😭

“They’re just going to be put on blast by the fandom”

Bro added the twitter part to save himself cause like

Calling the V@lAngel situation “silly” is freaking insane, and this is just the first example I could find 😭

Didn’t screenshot but he recited Viv’s tweet about how “Val isn’t real ahah you can like evil characters lmaoooo”, said the drama was silly, and then said people shouldn’t harass Joel for voicing a character.

That’s… that’s not the issue??? We’re not mad that he voices Val, we’re mad that bro tagged it as V@langel and Viv went right up there to say that Val isn’t real and to stop being mad :/

Obviously I don’t support anyone who directly harassed or went after Joel but criticizing him is totally fine. And guess what? Ayylmao framed us all as harassers and put us on blast so the fandom could yell at us in the comments :////

Don’t have much to say about this part, no issue with it but it’s so insane coming from Ayylmao who laughs and deep dives into every freaking sex joke 😭

This was all from the comments of Flazefire’s video btw, I mostly agree with the vid up until where he denies the Viv wage allegations briefly, like even if the accusor’s accusations weren’t true that doesn’t mean the countless people who backed them up are just insignificant and clearly been proven wrong :/

The Erin frost situation too, like there’s not much evidence but others have come out and evidence hasn’t really been refuted

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

Hi. I’m sending this anonymously but if tumblr glitches and it isn’t anonymous please don’t post this because I’m absolutely completely entirely mortified.

I’m 20 FtM. About a year and a half ago, when I moved out and started at college, I discovered fandom, and began to get really into reading fics on AO3. My parents had heavily restricted my internet access growing up, and as new adult I began to discovered the barrage of content online.

Soon enough, I was spending about an hour or two every night reading smut fics. I never thought anything of it, because, well, it’s just words, it’s not *actually* porn, right?

Recently I did start watching some explicit videos but tried to limit myself to only once or twice a month because the shame I felt as well as the strange dissatisfaction just wasn’t worth it.

After doing some research, I found a study that said that watching porn for more than an hour a week was unhealthy. I thought, yeah, okay, fair enough.

Then I realised: does my fanfiction reading count as pornography?

I kept thinking to myself that because it was text it didn’t count, but —does it? Is that the reason that lately I’ve been feeling strangely dissatisfied and empty after reading/watching? Will I feel like this when I eventually have sex?? (still a virgin, mainly for dysphoria reasons)

I found all this stuff online that says porn addictions can screw you over for life, that you can’t find sexual satisfaction with a partner.

Should I cut back?

I don’t normally masturbate while consuming porn. I feel too ashamed. I normally just sit there and read/watch.

Am I a porn addict?????? Should I quit reading smut? Help.

If you can’t tell, I wasn’t raised in a very sex positive environment and I feel very ashamed. I don’t really know who to talk to and I just feel very guilty so I’m resorting to an anonymous ask on Tumblr.

If you read this, thank you for taking the time. I appreciate it.

— Jason

hi Jason,

I don't think you're a porn addict. I think you're probably just an anxious 20 year old from a pretty restrictive background and now that you have a little more freedom you're kind of nervous about it, which is very normal.

I want to be super clear: written porn is porn. porn is any sexually explicit material designed to titillate; it's existed since WAY before the moving picture existed and it will exist long after the internet has crumbled to dust. people like porn! and it's okay to like porn. the text-based stuff is particularly high on the list of porn that's pretty unambiguously fine, morally-speaking, because you never have to worry that the performer you're watching has had their video stolen by pornhub or that, god forbid, anyone onscreen isn't a willing participant, but I want to be super clear that liking sexually explicit photos or videos of real people is also 100% fine.

obviously I have no idea what study you read, but I'd be cautious about any study being boiled down to such black and white, attention-grabbing headlines. you can interpret a study to mean virtually anything if you want to, and there are a lot of interest groups with a vested interest in demonizing porn. if reading smutty fan fic makes you happy and isn't interfering with the rest of your life, you should do that.

unfortunately it sounds like it's not making you happy lately, dissatisfied and empty feelings. in the kindest way possible, I don't think much of that is being caused by the porn itself. it sounds like it's coming from your gnawing worry that you're a porn addict. maybe it's best to take a little step away from porn and smutty fic for a while, if only until you feel able to engage with it without feeling bad.

also, speaking of porn addiction: that's a very dubious condition, and one that's not scientifically or medically recognized. to be certain, people can develop a reliance on porn that disrupts their daily function and can wreak havoc on their lives, but that's true of anything that causes your brain to spit out happy chemicals. anything that become a maladaptive coping mechanism, including and especially things that are fine and even necessary in small doses. sleeping, exercising, and going shopping are all things that can be life-ruining if done to harmful excess, but that doesn't mean you're doing anything wrong if you like to sleep in, go for runs, or browse your favorite online stores every once in a while.

if reading smut isn't causing you to skip out on your more important obligations, fail to take care of yourself, or bringing on bankruptcy, I think you're probably alright. the biggest danger I see here is you beating yourself over the head with your own anxiety about this, which may be a sign that it's a good idea to take a step back for entirely different reasons than you were worried about.

[livwritesstuff]

heyo! loving the steddie dads. was wondering if either of them suffer from nightmares or ptsd after everything they've been through? and how they might deal with that on a day-to-day/anniversary basis.

Hi friend -- took some time on this one because this is a Topic for me.

Short answer – yes, 100%. I don’t think any person on the planet could experience that kind of thing and not come out of it with some serious issues to work through. 

Longer answer, and not to abuse my psych degree, but it’s really tough to say how they would be affected 10, 20, 30, etc. years down the line because PTSD and trauma are both so unbelievably complex – for many reasons, but in part because PTSD can do two things (sort of) simultaneously.

Wane over time

Completely and permanently alter the “wires” (neural pathways) in your brain

I think that there’s sometimes this perception in the ST fandom that every character in the show who experienced a trauma would have PTSD by default, but that might not necessarily be true. Stats actually show that the majority of people who experience trauma in some capacity will in fact not display PTSD symptoms. I think Mike and Dustin at the onset of season 2 are a fantastic example of how two people can go through the same events together and come out of it affected very differently.

(Sidebar: I think Stranger Things has a fantastic opportunity to show how varied the effects of trauma can be. Granted, I don’t think that’s the story they’re telling, but they totally could.)

Experiencing a traumatic event is not necessarily a one-way ticket to PTSD symptoms and/or a PTSD diagnosis – to be clear, this doesn’t mean that there are not lasting negative effects from that traumatic event, but it is still distinctly different from PTSD (in its official definition) – and right now it’s not clear why this is the case. 

I have individual thoughts about each character as it relates to what they specifically experience and how I think they would be affected by it long and short-term, HOWEVER I also recognize that I haven’t answered your actual question, so I digress.

Rather than dive into whether or not I think Steve and/or Eddie have PTSD, we’re just gonna call it capital-T Trauma and move along. You’re welcome.

Anyways, by the time Steve and Eddie (as they exist in this ‘verse) are in their fifties, I doubt that any residual effects of their Trauma would still be anywhere near debilitating. Generally speaking, they can go about their day-to-day lives without thinking about what they went through all that much.

I do think that those effects may temporarily worsen around anniversaries, but even that really isn’t all that noticeable by the time they hit the 2020s.

They’ll still occasionally have nightmares and I don’t think Steve ever fully lets himself believe that it’s truly done in a way that Eddie doesn’t relate to because he never had to experience what it’s like for it all to come back.

(Small potatoes, but I also don’t think Steve could ever own a dog no matter how much his daughters campaigned for a puppy when they were in elementary school).

I think the Trauma that Steve experienced shows itself in his adulthood when it comes down to raising kids. 

I’ve talked before about how Steve has a moment when Moe turns ten where it kind of clicks for the first time just how young Erica had been when he allowed her to get caught up in everything. He hadn’t been able to see it until he was a fully-fledged adult raising a ten-year-old, but he gets really hung up on it, and then he spends the next few years being like – Moe’s eleven, that’s how old Eleven was when she broke out of the lab; she’s twelve, that’s how old Will was when he got stuck in the Upside Down; she’s thirteen, that’s how old Dustin was when he almost got eaten by demobats in those tunnels. 

Then the girls start hitting their high school years and Steve starts realizing – oh, it wasn’t just the younger ones. I was also a kid still and put in a really fucked up position. It’s the thing that makes him truly see how few adults he had in his corner.

Eddie has a similar moment when Moe graduates high school and he realizes that his oldest daughter is as old as Chrissy ever got to be.

That being said I also don’t think Eddie gets as torn up over Chrissy as the popular opinion suggests but i’m a little afraid to voice that one lol

I definitely think Eddie and Steve never let themselves forget how Max, Chrissy, Patrick, etc. were vulnerable to Vecna’s curse because of a very specific circumstance – they were grappling with something internally that they didn’t feel they had the resources or people they trusted enough to address outwardly. Sure, they know that their kids aren’t at risk of being possessed and murdered by an evil monster, but the notion of bad things happening when people don’t have the support that they need is a very real phenomenon with very real consequences. By no means was that exclusive to Hawkins and it certainly didn’t go away with the Upside Down. 

I think that this becomes the crux of Steve and Eddie’s mentality behind parenthood – to make sure that their kids never feel like they can’t go to their dads for support, to never allow their children to be in a position where they have to suffer in silence. That, to me, is absolutely rooted in the parts of their Trauma that re-wired their brains irreparably.

Anyhooooo this is really just the tip of the iceberg imo but this is long enough already lol (but if anyone wants to hear more about the Stranger Things-Trauma paradigm, let me know because I could probably talk about it for hours).

[olderthannetfic]

Re: ‘most big fandoms are dominated by male characters so there’s less f/f’ - I think the conclusion that there’s so much more m/m and m/f out there because media with big fandoms include fewer women as characters and we are ‘just writing about the characters [we] connect with in the media [we] enjoy’ removes some of the agency involved in how we choose the media that we potentially end up fannishly enjoying. Yes, if there were more characters who are women in media with huge existing fandoms, we might see more f/f, but I think that many of us gravitate toward new media (and if we click with that new media, then new fandoms) based on our established interests from prior media/fandoms. I’ve been in online fandom in various capacities for over 20 years and in the first decade of my fannish ‘career’ I largely shipped m/m and wrote m/m. I was therefore, unsurprisingly, often drawn toward new media with m/m potential.

About a decade ago my personal interests began to shift and I found myself more drawn toward women characters and f/f. If I’m interested in women and f/f, I’m not going to keep focusing on new-to-me media with a whole slew of men and a couple women who barely interact. I’m keeping an eye out for media with several prominent female characters, media with lots of women, media with f/f potential. Luckily, that isn’t as hard to find across a variety of genres and formats as it used to be. It doesn’t always click — I enjoyed watching She-Ra and Ahsoka, for instance, and saw the f/f potential, but neither were id matches that sparked fannish creativity for me personally — but if I’m not checking out media with women and am instead continuing to watch/read/play media where the characters are largely men, then yeah, I’m going to get frustrated by the lack of f/f i those fandoms pretty quickly. That’s on me though, not on the fandom at large. If I’m not looking at what’s out there, trying to find the media that hits those iddy places and sparks the fannishness I crave, then am I really that interested in f/f in the first place? I don’t think fandom ‘hates women’, but I do think a lot of fandom just isn’t that fannishly interested in women for a plethora of reasons, and that’s fine! I do wish we could just admit that though.

There’s also…look, there are assholes in every corner of fandom. There are plenty of people out there who write posts that criticize unrealistic m/m smut, but that doesn’t seem to drive away the m/m fans from writing that super unrealistic m/m smut they want to read. Why then do a few jerks criticizing what they believe to be unrealistic f/f smut get blamed for driving people away from f/f? Did you really want to write that f/f smut to begin with? It’s okay if you didn’t really want to write it! But also, there is fantastically unrealistic f/f smut out there on ao3 with an appreciative audience. Unrealistic smut always has its place.

--

Yuuup.

I do think the few loud jerks on whatever topic have a disproportionate effect on things that people are already insecure about or that there's already less content about. Criticism from inside the house also seems to hit harder than from outside, for various definitions thereof. But I agree that there are bullies or just loud assholes everywhere, and it doesn't stop the juggernaut ships and fandoms. I think "the meanies made me not write f/f" is not a good analysis of the overall trend even if some specific people really did get bullied quite badly.

I do see people acting surprised that they don't like any f/f, yet not checking out media with multiple female leads. This is silly and we should move away from this along with ditching "There are no interesting female characters".

But another pattern I see is that, for the most part, really big fic fandoms come from things a ton of people consumed in the world overall. (The reverse isn't necessarily true: something can have mass mainstream popularity and no fic.) So even aside from willful blindness on the part of individual fans or personal reactions to gender, the overall lopsidedness of media does still matter for the big meta discussions that look at the ratio of stuff on AO3. If someone isn't really into small fandoms, they're going to have to go where the crowd is already going.

The top fandoms, according to tag search, are these (counts are different from current AO3 works if you click through, but they seem inflated by roughly similar amounts):

Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling ‎(664365)

Marvel Cinematic Universe ‎(389476)

방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS ‎(289493)

Original Work ‎(273412)

Marvel ‎(233004)

Teen Wolf (TV) ‎(219504)

Haikyuu!! ‎(215127)

The Avengers (Marvel Movies) ‎(208509)

原神 | Genshin Impact (Video Game) ‎(207259)

Star Wars - All Media Types ‎(188548)

Sherlock (TV) ‎(169092)

Batman - All Media Types ‎(137281)

Captain America (Movies) ‎(118954)

Minecraft (Video Game) ‎(117892)

Stranger Things (TV 2016) ‎(117489)

Video Blogging RPF ‎(110169)

Voltron: Legendary Defender ‎(105117)

Miraculous Ladybug ‎(104003)

Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan ‎(103914)

魔道祖师 - 墨香铜臭 | Módào Zǔshī - Mòxiāng Tóngxiù ‎(101819)

文豪ストレイドッグス | Bungou Stray Dogs ‎(95606)

Merlin (TV) ‎(88893)

僕のヒーローアカデミア | Boku no Hero Academia | My Hero Academia (Anime & Manga) ‎(86484)

NCT (Band) ‎(85868)

Dream SMP ‎(83222)

Stray Kids (Band) ‎(82711)

One Direction (Band) ‎(79490)

呪術廻戦 | Jujutsu Kaisen (Manga) ‎(78975)

Homestuck ‎(77676)

Game of Thrones (TV) ‎(77361)

Good Omens (TV) ‎(76805)

陈情令 | The Untamed (TV) ‎(73444)

DCU ‎(71054)

ジョジョの奇妙な冒険 | JoJo no Kimyou na Bouken | JoJo's Bizarre Adventure ‎(70648)

Undertale (Video Game) ‎(68959)

A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin ‎(67854)

Star Trek ‎(67221)

Doctor Who ‎(65172)

Doctor Who (2005) ‎(65166)

呪術廻戦 | Jujutsu Kaisen (Anime) ‎(65109)

Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett ‎(63727)

Once Upon a Time (TV) ‎(62211)

Avatar: The Last Airbender ‎(61743)

Hetalia: Axis Powers ‎(61343)

Star Wars Sequel Trilogy ‎(59581)

Iron Man (Movies) ‎(59158)

EXO (Band) ‎(58948)

Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types ‎(58055)

Hannibal (TV) ‎(56796)

Thor (Movies) ‎(56604)

I'm seeing some truly gargantuan franchises and their network of metatags, top Weekly Shounen Jump manga that are mega bestsellers far, far beyond how much any shojo manga sells in Japan, some of the biggest musical groups and most popular youtubers in the world, etc.

Some of these do seem a lot more popular with the AO3 crowd than the world in general, of course. It's not an exact 1:1 causal relationship between media's audience/impact and how much fic writers care or how much fic writers on AO3 care. It's certainly possible for fandom to make fetch happen with a relatively less popular canon; it's just not the default and not driving the big overall numbers.

I look at The Untamed and (often mistagged) MDZS) being on this list and I think of all those hot fanvids for f/f Chinese dramas.

I keep seeing fans watch one, go "Okay, I have got to watch that next!" only to be disappointed that the canon is a handful of 5-minute episodes, not some epic 50-episode thing like the censored m/m ones and the bromance ones and the het ones get. They want The Untamed-but-with-ladies, not the reality of those canons. I suppose there are some nominally-straight series with two female leads and not a heavy focus on a het romance with just a single female lead, but the one I'm thinking of was reportedly godawful and the people who saw potential between the women had no interest in writing fic about it.

Do any of those f/f c-novels have good translations? That's not what brings the big fic crowds (it's the adaptations that do that), but maybe I should try reading a few. I just keep getting turned off of Chinese webnovels in general by dodgy translations.

[starstruckodysseys]

20 questions for 20 writers !!

thank u to @localdisasterisk for tagging me in this! i honestly do not know how many writers i follow so um. ill tag my pibe fic besties @wheelsupin-azarathmetrionzinthos @angelwiththeblue-box @fatestitcherr @incorrect-play-it-by-ear and the rest of u can fight amongst yourselves

1. how many works do you have on ao3?

48. i don’t know if its more concerning that almost half of them are from the past five months or that almost half are play it by ear. its the same almost half but still

2. what’s your total ao3 word count?

143,389. woof

3. what fandoms do you write for?

obviously play it by ear. everyone knows that. also d20 occasionally and project sekai. unfortunately

4. what are your top five fics by kudos?

toya and mizuki’s step by step guide to romancing a shinonome — i will be so real with you guys i specifically crafted this one to be popular. and then i fell in love with it along the way. but it did start as a science experiment

let me take you with me (just like this) — WHY. this is my second pjsekai fic and my fourth fic ever posted. it’s not at all reflective of my current style. help

kiss it better — yeah. same issue as the other one. this one’s better though lmao

say you miss me (say you want to kiss me) — honestly? just impressed a honakana fic made it up this high. love my girlies

the moon is crumbling (but that’s okay) — yeah everyone pretend to be surprised the ruikasa fic got this high up. it was a new concept for me, though, so i’m pretty proud of that

5. do you respond to comments?

i used to, but not really anymore unfortunately. to be fair, i will point you all to the fact that most of my recent fics are pibe, and then to the discord where we all scream about them together

6. what is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

i don’t usually. write sad endings. bc i don’t like them. okay that’s not true i just usually don’t. i guess the moon is crumbling?? if i had to choose?? it’s more bittersweet than anything, but people did say they cried, so…

7. what’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

99.9% of my fics are getting together fics. it’s just the same ending a million different ways. you tell me

8. do you get hate on your fics?

not publicly!

9. do you write smut? if so, what kind?

i would simply be too powerful if i could. this is for your safety actually

10. do you write crossovers?

in the sense of characters across universes/media interacting? no. in the sense of “i am going to put my blorbos in every single other setting i slightly enjoy”? absolutely. putting them under a microscope. researching and recording how they react to their surroundings

11. have you ever had a fic stolen?

not to my knowledge!

12. have you ever had a fic translated?

i simply do not think there is a demand for my fics in other languages. not in like a depressing way, it’s just that i’m writing for like five people including myself, so. yknow

13. have you ever co-written a fic before?

no, but if someone wanted to… 👀

14. what’s your all time favorite ship?

i’ve never written for them (yet, at least), but by sheer volume and span of time i have to say souyo persona4. my silly boys. i’ve never scoured the entire tag for a ship multiple times on ao3 like i have for them. i have so many thoughts about them that have never seen the light of day but they exist!!

15. what’s a wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

stares awkwardly at feed your anger like fire… i’ve tried!! but it turns out that sometimes you get stuck on clothing designs and stop writing and then lose passion for the project and then stop updating for three years because you were too ambitious and also you hate your old writing style. not that i would know anything about that

16. what are your writing strengths?

i think i’m really good at dialogue, or at least banter. unfortunately this makes me very judgmental but that’s not important. also i can create a vibe well i’ve been told

17. what are your writing weaknesses?

in general? i SUCK at character description, or at least knowing where and when to place it. i also always worry about characterization and if my characters sound too similar

18. thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

i used to read so many fics that centered around using another language (shoutout bmc fandom when i was. in that. a dark period of my life, but alas) and honestly if it’s done well i think it’s cool!! i’m not going to get into the intricacies of bilingualism on account of being an english only speaker but it is rad to me

19. first fandom you wrote for?

wrote for? probably warriors. yes the cats. i had a whole fanfic for my oc. shoutout to… honestly i don’t remember her name but she was a real one! wrote for and posted is another story, by which i mean i don’t remember At All. probably bandori tbh, bc i don’t remember if i posted fanfic on my wattpad

20. favorite fic you’ve written?

either the venn diagram of curses and crushes (which is still my favorite fic title ever) or soaking in the glory. one of them is a 3k word expedition into the play it by ear canon space and the other is a 7k word fever dream i went into a fugue state to write in two days. honorable mention to the like the sweetest cup of chai series which i hold so close to my heart. silliest besties of all time

[autisticlancemcclain]

fic rec friday 23

welcome to the twenty-third fic rec friday! where, on friday, i rec five of my favourite fics.  

1. lucky i’m in love with my best friend by @nezueye

“I really wanna kiss you right now,” Lance murmurs, staring at Keith’s lips.  

“So kiss me."

Lance scrunches up his nose. “In front of all of our friends? I thought you were allergic to PDA.”  

Keith shrugs. “You’ve been sitting in my lap for the past 20 minutes and I’ve been basically groping you the entire time.” He punctuates this statement by bringing his hands back to Lance’s ass and squeezing just a little, as a treat. “Some more PDA is okay, I think.”

yes i know i recced one of nez’s fics last week and i’m here doing it again. they’re amazing okay. every single time the devotion settles heavily in my lungs im ALLOWED to be obsessed with them. this one gets to me especially bc its established relationship, which is my favourite dynamic always, and its as funny as it is sweet!! double blamy!! also the title is from possibly the most klance song ever, and if you would like to hear jeremy shada (lance’s VA) singing a cover of the song... you’re in luck

2. the meaning of donuts by @katranga

The next few days were filled with Lance informing everyone, multiple times, of their “new” friendship. “We’re friends now, did you hear? Keith and I are friends.” Over and over, big smile, loud voice. Looking between Keith and whoever he was telling like he expected a round of applause. Or confetti. Or a parade. What he usually got was somebody making a crack about bonding moments, which prompted a tight, put-upon sigh on Keith’s end. And Lance would look at him fondly, and Keith would have to bite his cheek to distract himself from how much he wanted Lance to lean over and kiss him. -- Keith realizes he may, potentially, possibly have some feelings for a certain blue paladin and he is Not Thrilled about it.

14k words of keith being exasperated by himself by being disgustingly in love with lance and lance being increasingly more in love but lowkey being oblivious about it??? hell fucking yeah!! lance is so bright in this fic bc thats how keith (begrudgingly lol) sees him and its so true and wonderful

3. perish the rest, this thought is yours by @moonguilt

“Lance? Lance can you hear—” Keith's voice crackled unintelligibly. “—big hit. Are you—” More crackling, and—silence.

Lance frantically pressed his comm button. “Keith? Keith, hey, uh, small problem maybe—”

The control panel flickered a few times, then sputtered out, and suddenly Red was falling—eerily slow at first, then faster than a bullet. Lance bit back a scream, smashing buttons and yanking at the controls desperately, but Red just kept falling, falling, falling, and all Lance could do was watch as she turned belly-up in the air, giving him a perfect, horrible view of Black taking several heavy shots directly to the cockpit.

This time he did scream. But it did no good, and Lance was forced to watch as Black—as Keith—careened toward the moon's surface, a faint trail of purple dusting his wake like the tail of a comet.

————–

Lance and Keith are sent on a mission to answer a distress signal from the desert moon of Xat-lor VII. They get more than they bargained for, both in enemy numbers and in feelings. They have to fight to survive long enough for the rest of their team to arrive, and in the meantime, Things Happen.

i will Never get tired of flirty keith. somehow in the first couple years of this fandom we forgot that keith is the one with game and lance is the one whos freqently getting flustered and tongue-tied, and god bless finn for reminding us. this fic has post s7 but only the good parts (and fuck s8), black paladin keith red paladin lance, bamf co leaders who are in love and also stupid, and (im mentioning it again bc Duh) flirty keith. loml.

4.  feel it in the space in between by angelbolt

“Coffee champagne, in my opinion, would be carbonated coffee with a shot of white wine. Does that sound like a good time to you?”

“It sounds like a great time.”

Adam leaned in, his nose wrinkling with a smile as he whispered, “Junkie.”

“You love it,” Takashi dismissed, kissing the wrinkles. “You think it’s endearing.”

Adam drummed his fingers over Takashi’s scalp, “I find too many of your flaws endearing, my love.”

“Even my dad jokes?” ✦ takashi and adam get engaged.

prekerb adashi does NOT get enough attention!!! at all!! i love them in love and happy with baby keith!!! this fic is sweet and sappy and gives both shiro and adam some much-needed dimension. shiro is a DOG and i love that for him. the big hero six scene made me cry. 

5. two bros, chillin’ in a space pool by angelbolt

Harrumphing, Lance paddled to the edge, heaving himself to sit on it, one foot extended to point at Keith, "Fine! Then if you believe yourself to be so much better than me—"

Keith seemed distracted, mouth slightly open, "I never said—"

"I challenge you to a duel! A swimming duel!"

He looked wholly unimpressed once again, "Wow, that's new." ✩ My take on why they were both shirtless.

i will never in my life get over angry pining. the idea of being down bad for someone and FURIOUS about it will never not be funny to me. this entire fic in general made me laugh out loud and in particular this fic used the word ‘ah-HOOGA’ unironically which is not only ballsy but also beyond my words to properly appreciate. lance is a menace. early s1 fics my love

that’s it for today!! i’ll see y’all back next friday for the next fic rec post!!!  

[cure-orchid]

I’ve still got some strong hyperfixation going on for one of my newest fandoms ‘The Ghost and Molly McGee’ (which I will eternally regert not watching sooner) and wanted to share some of my headcanons I’ve come up with over the last four months.

* There are a few months between ‘Jinx vs the Human World’ and ‘The End’, enough for a third season to take place. Most of the leaked scripts occur with a few exceptions: They do not find the ‘Williams’ lunchbox, by extension ‘Scratch from the Past’ doesn’t occur, Dead and Breakfast was revealed to be getting cut before the cancellation so it also doesn’t happen. And ‘Forever Home’ occurs after ‘The End’ (more below)

* I already posted my headcanon conclusion for the Chairman Ollie arc. I was going to post more on that but I’ve decided to wait (more at the bottom of this post)

* Molly is remaining positive for Scratch’s sake after he leaves. She is sad and talks about it with the others when she can…

* Then ‘Forever Home’ occurs (with Geoff in Scratch’s place) a month after Todd leaves. Patty dying and not becoming a ghost hits even harder since the loss of Scratch is still fresh. Molly allows herself to grieve in front of the others but her positivity is noticeably shaken for a week or two after. A movie hits too close to home during date night with Ollie and Molly finally breaks down and fully opens up about her sadness and fear of losing people and being alone. Ollie is the second person she’s ever opened up to about this, Scratch was the first. After that she is truly able to start healing.

* Todd visits Brighton a year later. One scheme and a hug from Molly later and his memories from his time as a wraith return! He remembers Molly first but slowly the rest come back to him.

* After remembering everyone and having a true reunion. One of the things Scratch does on his last day in town is have a one on one talk with Ollie. Scratch figures he’d understand how he feels best since they both suffered memory loss for a time and both care deeply about Molly. Ollie tells him how hard it really was on Molly and how they’ve all been looking out for her.

* Molly and Scratch keep in touch, and Adia is let in on the truth about Todd and ghosts. They have yearly visits to Brighton.

* Scratch and Adia do get married, which may or may not be motivated by tax benefits, and have a quick ceremony at a courthouse. Best Man Geoff brings wraith Molly through a portal so she can be there as their flower girl, she’s already making the joy flowers anyway.

* Molly and Libby go to college in Brighton, while Ollie goes to college in Perfektborg. Being long distance besties with Scratch has prepared Molly for a long distance boyfriend so she’s not freaking out as bad as she would have at 13. They meet every other weekend and video chat frequently.

* Mollie get married once they finish college. Scratch and Adia take an extra trip to attend and the former is the best man. Libby and Andrea are the maids of honor. Libby realizes that with what Molly is planning, Andrea will find out about ghosts one way or another. They break the news early and introduce her to Geoff and Jeff, she’s freaked out but it gives context to some early events.

* Scratch and Adia die in a hang-gliding accident when Molly is in her early 20’s. They don’t reunite right away but Molly figures, and gets Geoff to spill, that Scratch is waiting to make a grand entrance at the funeral. He and Adia scare everyone not in the know at said funeral when they emerge from their graves. Molly and Ollie present the ghost couple with a large dollhouse and they move in with them.

* The girls future’s are pretty obvious, Molly becomes mayor of Brighton, Libby writes novels, June is a scientist, and Andrea marries Alina and her vision board becomes a reality. As for the boys, Ollie becomes a therapist with patients living and dead. Darryl is part of some government task force, that is all he is able to divulge.

* Mollie have their first daughter a few years later, Piper Chen-McGee. She inherits the swoopy hair and living with ghosts her whole life gives her a hyperfixation on the paranormal. From the moment they met and she grabbed his snoot, Scratch has been a doting uncle to her and the two are really close.

* Five years after comes Joy Chen-McGee. I haven’t thought too much about what she would be like but for sure she continues the legacy of enhappifying/engoodifying, enhappigoodifying if you will.

* Once they die, Ollie becomes the chairman for good. He has a white robe made for Molly, it doesn’t have any special powers but she’s already got her unique joy energy.

So I was already planning on writing a Ghost Friends one shot, I was going to save it for Halloween but I’ve decided to move it up and release it in around a month.

In addition, I’ve got two other fics that will be released after; one will be an anthology fic focusing on Ollie, exploring his character, his interactions with different characters, and going through his chairman arc! The other will be Molly and Scratch reuniting, because these two are family and it’s cruel to keep them apart.

I’m not sure how long it’ll take to churn these out, but the Ollie fic should start in June once I finish the Ghost Friends oneshot.

[aloysiavirgata]

Thanks to @numinousmysteries for tagging me! I had never checked these stats before!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

92

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

484,620

3. What fandoms do you write for?

I’ve written for Hannibal, Battlestar Galactica, The Fall, and The X-Files, but only The X-Files at this point.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

The Parting Glass (smut)

Animus Possidendi (dark smut)

The Common Fate of All Things Rare (casefile, cowritten)

Lacuna (casefile)

This Her Fever (cancer arc)

5. Do you respond to comments?

Yes and no. Not like I should. I am so deeply, truly grateful for every single one.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Well, I killed William in Inhaling the Different Dawn, but that wasn’t at the end.

Maybe Where The Vines Cling Crimson? Scully’s cancer comes back and her fate is ambiguous. And I had Scully kill Emily in Alabaster Stones. But I think that was the right ending for both of them.

As a mother? A Basket of Reeds, where Scully gives William away. I can’t even reread it without a lump in my throat, man.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Tent of Shelter is fluffy and lovely gets a lot of love, and was inspired by a STUNNING manip by @avocadoave but I personally think In The Gale. It’s the one that, to me, feels the most like a grownup relationship of two people processing some trauma. I think that’s an ending that’s happy and also real - like “I don’t love being broken, but I can survive being broken with you.” Two abeyances that lean…

Foxfire for similar reasons. I real love that little story, which I wrote thanks to @perplexistan

I’m 43. I’ve been married for well over two decades and let me tell you that young love is a gift and mature love is a craft.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Some! And that’s really great too, that people read words I wrote and felt so passionately that they left me words about those feelings. What a strange but profound compliment!

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I do. PWP isn’t my personal taste so even though I wrote a LOT of smut for the old pornbattles at LJ I wanted the smut to still tell a story.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

I can’t say it’s especially crazy, but Fern Hill is a Mulder/Stella Gibson crossover. There are a few little ficlets with XF/Silence of the Lambs crossovers in my Inbox Prompts series.

Oh fuck! Wait! I wrote a Fall/Hannibal/XF crossover called Anthemoessa where Stella, Scully, and Bedelia all meet. Okay that’s it. That wins.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Years ago. God, isn’t that sad? To need positive reinforcement that much?

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes! It was SUCH a compliment!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I have - The Common Fate of All Things Rare

14. What’s your all time favorite ship?

Mr. Virgata and me. Followed by Fox Mulder and Dana Scully, who literally invented the word. ❤️

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

The Fisher King

16. What are your writing strengths?

I think I do pretty good banter and my education makes me pretty good at the sciencey bits.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

I get too lost in descriptions and I try too hard to be clever. I do my best to self edit but sometimes I reread things and I’m like oh my GOD SHUT YOUR PRETENTIOUS ASS UP.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I’ve done it for Bedelia and Hannibal in Italian. I’m not sure I understand the question?

19. First fandom you wrote for?

TXF, my one true love.

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?

I don’t know that I have a favorite per se. I am most proud of the ones that challenged me to do something outside my comfort zone. Samson is one of mytop fives even though it’s Mulder/Diana. I think I did a nice job. I also wrote Pair of Aces/Double or Nothing which is Scully/Byers.

But I do really love the world of Petrichor and Singing of Mount Abora, and I like the cases.

[selkie-tea]

My special interest timeline and ranking score bc why not

Note: ages listed only describe when these fixations were Loudest in my brain. I still maintain interest in most of these subjects even if they are not front and centre.

Earliest I can remember — Fish: 10/10

legally I have to score this one a 10/10 bc it literally came in first

Circa 7-10ish years old — Cetaceans (whales and dolphins): 8/10

Following on the marine biology thread, I was enraptured by the social behaviour and intelligence of these fellas. Also learning of the vast scope of dolphin species unfamiliar to the general public was terrific enrichment for my little autistic brain. I distinctly remember a book in my elementary school library that listed dolphin species of the world and that was my absolute favourite thing. I am genuinely saddened not to remember what it was called. Unfortunately this special interest hit me at a particularly annoying age so I’m giving it a lower score for just how bothersome I was about it

Tweens/early teens — HTTYD book series: 10/10

Can’t possibly imagine why a socially outcast protagonist with a particular interest in a certain type of animal spoke to me at this age. Also giving this one a 10/10 because of not only what a great series it is, but the role it has come to play in my life. These books grew up with me, moved me, but also came to save my ass from depression much later. Cannot express my love for these books enough

Early/mid-teens — Avatar: the last Airbender & The Legend of Korra: 8/10

An absolute classic, both are incredible shows. Only reason it’s not getting a higher score is because it didn’t have the same lasting impact on me as the httyd books. Korrasami did make me a lesbian for a time though*

*Gender and sexuality are fluid don’t @ me with deterministic shit

Mid/late teens — Steven Universe: 6/10

Great show still, don’t get me wrong, but I have no idea why it grabbed me as much as it did. Actually wait, I do know. It was a gay cartoon pioneer and I was just coming into my queerness. Which is still pretty cool, but my current assessment of the show just doesn’t line up with how thoroughly obsessed I was. It also gets a knocked down score because of all the teen angst I associate with it. Not the show’s fault, but this is a list about my experience so it does have an impact.

Late teens/Early 20’s —

Look, every interest in this era was fleeting and not particularly strong so everything here gets a 5/10 given that none of them can really be considered *special* interests, just interests. I was incredibly depressed so my brain just didn’t latch onto things in the same way. Interests in this era include the care and keeping of parrots, snakes, and other reptiles. I was also interested natural history as a whole. Very interesting subjects, but they hardly count as special interests given where my brain was at.

Early/Mid 20’s — Httyd books 2: electric boogaloo: 10/10

Oh would you look at that, a relapse. Not complaining though, this bad boy gets full scores once again. Given this was my first time experiencing a true special interest again after a very rough depression it was a very exciting ordeal: I genuinely wasn’t sure if my brain could do that anymore. I got involved with an incredibly based fandom and made some great friends. I’ve been having an excellent time here.

Mid 20’s/current — Danmei/yaoi/BL: 8/10

The score is getting knocked down a peg for the sheer humiliation factor of having this as a special interest. Still, this shit made me an MLM gay the way korrasami made me a lesbian* so we can’t deny the impact it had. Humiliation factor aside though, I learned a lot about myself with this one and also unlearned a lot of biases about the genre that I had no idea were mostly terf propaganda. This one also helped me work through a lot of personal gender and sexuality issues so it will almost certainly hold a special place in my heart going forward.

*same note as before about ~fluidity~ but if you must have a more thorough explanation I’m also trans. Hope this helps.

Current/emerging — Sherlock Holmes: ????

Too early for a ranking. It’s also too soon to tell if this will become an actual special interest or just a short-term passing fixation. This one definitely holds promise though so we’ll see where my brain goes with it.

Anyways, feel free to reblog with your own timeline I’d love to see it :)

Actually, I’ve decided I wanna make this into a tag game. tagging

@bayofalgecirascranes @jusiri @sox-rok68 @zephsthings @it-me-rain @aarie-mudpuppy @jam-ham @wickedcriminal and also literally anyone else who feels like it

[foxes-that-run]

Boyfriends

A self aware take on Boyfriends, including Harry and boyfriends of those he cares for. The lyric video features a lone swan, a symbol of commitment. Harry was with a swan in every image for his May 20 2019 Gucci Campaign, released the week Boyfriends was first written. Harry and Taylor were pictured with a Swan on her birthday when they went to The Lakes. Harry who has spoken about the song with pride and deference. Let's start with the gorgeous first take:

Harry said to Zane Lowe it was written at the end of Fine Line:

"There was an extra week where we wrote some stuff, wrote Adore you, TPWK and we were recording Lights Up. [...] At the end of that session everyone left and I started writing Boyfriends and it almost felt like OK there is a version where we get this ready to put on this album, and I think there was something about it where it felt like it's going to have it's time. [...] I am learning so much by saying it [...] It is both acknowledging my own behaviour, looking at behaviour I have witnessed and looking at I grew up with a sister, so it's like watching her date people and watching friends date people and you know people don't treat each other nicely sometimes. And it turned out about boyfriends because I started paying it and saying boyfriends. [...]Just say what you think of boyfriends.

Harry was in the studio from 15 May 2019, the Swan Gucci Campaign was released on he and Taylors anniversary that week. It was also 2 weeks after Me! Was released. When speaking about Boyfriends Harry constantly mentions these other songs. They have a common theme about the impact of the behaviour of others on his relationships and self, true his nature it is subtle and gentle:

Adore you's video asks fans to respect the partner(s) of his choosing, in contrast to fan reaction who he dates.

TPWK, as the title says, Harry told Rolling Stone " It made me uncomfortable at first, [...] I feel like that song opened something that’s been in my core.”

Lights Up - to Rolling Stone Harry spoke about stepping out from 1D on his own, the lyrics of "I'm not ever going back" and "All the lights couldn't put out the dark running through my heart", link the experience of the band and fandom to mental health and knowing who he is, rather than who others want him to be.

To me, coming at the end of that session adds to Harry taking ownership his role in failed relationships in that time by being unaware of the impact his 1D persona. fan treatment of his partner(s) and emotional unavailability. Taylor has also described her anxiety dating him in Slut! and Gold Rush. However, as Harry said, it is not limited to himself. On its release at Coachella, (3 years after it was written) "To Boyfriends Everywhere, F*** you". This was weeks after Taylor wrote You're Losing Me about Joe. His face to the end of this is everything:

Setlist and Tracklisting

Harry placed Boyfriends on HH between Satellite and LOML. Harry stopped playing Boyfriends after November 15 2022, when he played it live with Ben Harper at the end of the L.A. Forum residency. It was only played once in 2023, at Wembley June 16. The next night was the only time he played Sweet Creature since 2018. When it was on the setlist it proceeded LOML or Lights Up.

Ben Harper

To Variety Ben Harper said: "It was a wonderful recording session — one of the most memorable and most musical I’ve ever been a part of. [...] Harry invited me to stick around because he wanted to finish the song right then and there. To get to watch Harry in his process was eye-opening, and I learned a lot. [...] Yeah, I mean, he orchestrated the vocal harmonies like a classical composer, spot on, note for note. He just stacked them perfectly in pitch, one better than the next, and it was really eye-opening to see somebody step on the mic and have the parts orchestrated in his head. I’ve never seen anything like it actually."

Lyrics

Hoo Niaga ti ta kcab er'uoy, loof Boyfriends They think you're so easy They take you for granted They don't know they're just misunderstanding you You, you're back at it again

The opening is Backwards 'Ooh Fool, you’re back at it again'. Sunflower Vol 6 also opens with 'Sunflower' backwards. I think of this as about a backwards life, success followed by a normal life.

The first verse describes how boyfriends take their partner for granted and misunderstand.

Weakened When you get deep in He starts secretly drinking It gets hard to know what he's thinking You love a fool who knows just how to get under your skin You, you, you still open the door

The second verse describes where partner has met their guard down some boyfriends withdraw, and start drinking. Harry has sung of this before in Half the world away “I’ve started drinking”. Harry has mentioned drinking in other songs, but HTWA has a similar meaning, of drinking in secret to cope.

Harry touches on common themes in his discography:

Not communicating, similar to MMIH “we don’t talk about it”

Not getting over this person - Getting under you skin is a reference to Taylor’s The Lakes: “What should be over burrowed under my skin in heart-stopping waves of hurt” and IWYW “You always knew how to push my buttons”

Doors - here Harry's muse is opening the door, Harry has 7 songs that refer to knocking, opening or not opening doors. Taylor also has 13 songs about Harry and doors.

You're no closer to him Now you're halfway home Only calling you when Don't wanna be alone Oh, and you go Why? You don't know

While the first 2 verses the Boyfriend was uncommunicative, emotionally unavailable and didn't consider their partner. In the third verse the boyfriend and partner are learning from failed relationships, but still no closer. Now the boyfriend is only calling when they want company, rather than to be there for their partner.

Halfway home: The X Account 'I am Halfway Home' was started to promote HH. The term could have several meanings:

a Halfway house is a place to reintegrate into society from an institution.

The song is a play on words of having no more emotional closeness despite being physically halfway home, and

Halfway home is the name of a documentary about the toll war takes on veterans and their families.

Home is an important theme to Harry's work, Home meaning being with the right person rather than a physical place. To me, this lyric is Harry is saying that despite his growth since leaving the band and break down of this relationship they are still not emotionally closer.

Boyfriends Are they just pretending? They don't tell you where it's heading And you know the game's never ending You, you lay with him as you stay in the daydream You feel a fool You're back at it again

The closing of the song is a sense that the boyfriend is being a player, not communicating.

But Harry's muse gives in, wanting to stay in a dream. Slut! has a similar idea of choosing to stay in a love haze when you know it's not going to last "Got lovestruck, went straight to my head / Got lovesick, all over my bed / Love to think you'll never forget / Handprints in wet cement". Harry also says this in Daydreaming: "Livin' in a daydream"

Harry and Taylor have both used 'fool' in reference to their relationship before (in Fools Gold, Cardigan, Illicit Affairs, Joker and the Queen and in Long Pond Taylor said it 7 times about James in Betty.)

Finally, it refers to the cyclical nature of their relationship with 'back at it again' as OOTW 'built to fall apart and back together' and Style "when we go crashing down we come back every time' and many other songs.

[whimsicallyenchantedrose]

Christmas Reruns 2024–Day 1: A Christmas Miracle (1/3)

Merry Christmas if you celebrate it and happy holidays if you don’t!  One of the things I love about Christmas is watching reruns of all the old classic Christmas movies–Christmas is a big time for nostalgia.  A few years ago, I decided to incorporate that tradition into my fandom life and post my CS holiday reruns.  So here you go!  Enough holiday (mostly) fluff to get you to New Year’s Day. (With a new story posting on Christmas Day.)

Rating: G

Word Count: 1868

Other chapters: 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Note:  This story was originally written in 2013, at the very end of the Neverland arc.  It fits within my “A Wish Your Heart Makes” universe, so when there’s talk about “the second curse” or Camelot, it’s referring to that, not canon events.

A Christmas Miracle

“No offense, Mary Margaret,” Emma said skeptically, “but that sounds like a terrible idea.” She walked quickly beside her mother, her head down and her gloved hands in her pockets. It was cold!

“Oh come on, Emma,” Mary Margaret coaxed, “It’ll be fun! And it’s Christmas; families should be together.”

“Yeah,” Emma answered with a sidelong glance, “normal families should be together, but what we have…well we should be the poster family for ‘dysfunctional’.”

They continued walking through Storybrook’s main street. Emma looked up into the sky. It looked like snow. Great, just what she needed!

“Now Emma,” Mary Margaret said, “you know that’s not really true. Look how well we’ve all worked together lately. First Neverland and then the new curse. I think we’re all starting to meld together.”

Emma sighed. “Let me get this straight. You want to have a party on Christmas Eve with the whole family…me, you and David, Henry, Neal, Regina, Gold and Belle?”

“Yeah!” Mary Margaret said looking eagerly into her daughter’s face. “I’ve thought it all out! We’ll rent out Granny’s. We can decorate a tree and have a white elephant gift exchange and sing carols and just…you know…follow all the Christmas traditions!”

“There better be a lot of eggnog at that party,” Emma muttered, “because we’re gonna need it.”

The two women turned the corner and headed toward Granny’s. Emma sighed again. It had been a week since they had broken the Camelot curse and everyone had come home to Storybrook. A festive atmosphere pervaded the whole town. Christmas was only a few days away, and it seemed Storybrook’s residents planned to celebrate with a vengeance this year. They had put up the largest Christmas tree Emma had ever seen in the town square. Everyone had contributed their own unique ornaments, and Regina and Mr. Gold had used their magic to deck the upper branches, too high for anyone to reach…even with a ladder.

Emma should be happier, she knew she should, but she couldn’t help the feeling of dread that covered her like a blanket. She kept waiting for the other shoe to drop. She didn’t trust the calm and the peace. Between the original curse, she and her mother being transported to the Enchanted Forest, Henry being taken to Neverland, and the new curse…well, it seemed that every time they had a chance to take a breath something else terrible happened.

“What on earth is that all about?” Mary Margaret asked laughing as she pointed a gloved finger toward Granny’s. Emma peered in the direction her mother was pointing and couldn’t help the laugh that burst forth from her. There stood Grumpy dressed in a Christmas elf costume, complete with hat and pointy boots. He sang “Jingle bells” at the top of his lungs while somehow simultaneously scowling with all his might.

“Grumpy,” Mary Margaret said through her laughter, “what are you doing? I’ve never known you to be overflowing with Christmas spirit.”

“Let me tell you sister,” Grumpy said frowning in their direction, “if Happy ever offers to make a bet with you. Run. As fast as you can. In the opposite direction.”

Emma laughed as she opened the door to Granny’s and gestured Mary Margaret in. Mary Margaret headed to their favorite booth and Emma followed. She glanced quickly through the diner as she slid into her place opposite her mother. She refused to admit, even to herself, that she was looking for him, but she couldn’t deny the wave of disappointment she felt when she found the diner completely lacking a certain leather-clad pirate. They had worked so closely together over the past few weeks, first in New York, then in the Enchanted Forest, and finally in Camelot. He had become such a normal part of her life that it felt weird if a day went by when she didn’t see him. Surely that was the cause of her disappointment at not seeing him; surely there was nothing more.

But the fact was, she had wondered those last few days in Camelot whether…something…was starting to develop between them. He had been so, she didn’t know, devoted to her. Sometimes she would look up and see him gazing at her…and his gaze was as tender as a caress.

He had as much as told her he loved her in Echo Cave on Neverland, but then they’d gotten back to Storybrook, and he’d been so distant. It was almost like he was pushing Neal on her. She just didn’t get it. How was she supposed to figure him out? If she couldn’t even figure him out, how the hell was she supposed to figure out how she felt about him?

“So,” Emma said, idly picking up a menu from the rack near the window, “is David meeting us here?”

“Yeah,” Mary Margaret said glancing at her own menu, “He said he’s running a little late, but he should be here soon.”

The radio blared “Santa Baby” as several more people rushed into the diner, each clearly in a hurry to get out of the cold winter wind.

“Emma,” Mary Margaret said hesitantly, “you don’t really mind, do you? I mean about the family Christmas party.”

Emma dropped her eyes. “No, I guess not,” she answered, “Just don’t get your hopes up, ok? You get this group of people together, there’s bound to be fireworks.”

“Well,” Mary Margaret said with a smile, “that’ll just be more decoration for Christmas!”

“You are such an eternal optimist!” Emma said shaking her head. She couldn’t stop the small smile that draped her lips.

“Eternal optimist,” David said as he slid into the booth next to Mary Margaret and gave her a quick kiss, “you must be talking about my wife.”

“The very one,” Emma said unwrapping the straw Ruby had just brought with her iced tea.

“Henry not coming today?” David asked after giving Emma a hug.

“Nope,” Emma answered, “he’s with Neal today.”

Her parents exchanged a quick concerned glance.

“How’s everything going,” David asked, “you know, between you and Neal?”

Emma looked down. She supposed she might as well tell them. They’d been subtly…and not so subtly pushing her toward Neal for the past week. Why did they insist she be with him?

“There is nothing between me and Neal,” she said looking straight into her father’s eyes. “We had a talk the day after we all got back. I’m sure there’s a part of me that will always love him, but I’ve moved on. We’re both different people now. We had our moment, and now it’s gone.”

“Are you sure, honey?” Mary Margaret asked, reaching over and taking Emma’s hand. Emma smiled at her mother. After a lifetime of being on her own, it was nice to have someone care about her…worry about her happiness.

“Yeah, mom,” Emma said. The joy on Mary Margaret’s face at her use of that one little word was well worth it. “I’m sure. I’ve seen true love. I see how you and Dad are together, and, well, that’s not how it was with me and Neal.”

“But..” her mom tried again. Why was she so insistent?

“Mom,” Emma cut in, “If we’re going to have a Christmas party the day after tomorrow, we better start planning.”

Mary Margaret looked up at her for another moment and then slowly nodded. They talked and laughed throughout their meal. It was wonderful to just have a nice normal dinner with her parents. No curses, no lost boys, now evil shadows, no life-or-death catastrophes, no imminent danger.

“So then Archie slipped on the icy sidewalk,” David said, “he managed to stay upright, but he dropped his grocery bag, and it spilled all over the road. Before he had a chance to pick anything up Pongo shot past him, grabbed his deli meat and had a nice little feast!”

“Hm,” Emma said sipping the last of her iced tea, “I guess I better get on city management to put down some salt on the sidewalks.”

“Yeah,” David said glancing out the window, “looks like it’s starting to snow.”

“Ugh!” Emma groaned following the direction her father was looking. “I hate snow.”

“Oh, come now love,” came a silky voice from her right. Emma’s heart skipped a beat at the sound of his voice, “surely not.”

Emma looked up into Hook’s blue eyes and smiled in spite of herself. She scooted to her left and patted the seat next to her. He smiled and took the seat she indicated.

“Yep,” she answered him, “detest it. Snow means traffic accidents, icy sidewalks, and general headaches for the sheriff’s department.”

Hook turned toward her and smiled. His hook brushed her hand, and a jolt of electricity shot from the spot throughout her whole body. What was wrong with her? “No, love,” he said, “snow means snowmen and sleigh rides and snowball fights.”

“I don’t have time for any of that,” Emma said, looking up at the handsome pirate.

“Perhaps you should make time,” he said. Was it just her imagination or had he put a little emphasis on that last word?

David cleared his throat, and Emma started. Had she really just been looking deeply into Hook’s eyes? In front of her parents? What was wrong with her? She needed to get a grip!

“Hook,” David said with a nod in the pirate’s direction.

“Charming,” Hook answered with an identical nod of the head.

“At any rate,” Hook said to the table at large picking up the conversation where it had left off, “with Christmas only a few days off, it is only right we should get some snow.”

Emma glanced up at him and saw a small wistful expression on his face. Did he have anyone to spend Christmas with or would he have to spend a lonely day by himself? The thought hurt her somehow.

“Speaking of Christmas,” Emma said before she could think better of it, “we’re having a little family celebration the day after tomorrow. Would you like to come?”

Now where had that come from? Wasn’t the party going to be awkward enough as it was without adding Hook to the mix? Did she really want him there? Yes, said the small, honest voice in her head. The fact was, it seemed he belonged with them. With me the voice insisted. She gave her head a tiny shake as if to clear it. What was wrong with her?

He smiled down at her, but shook his head. “I don’t wish to impose on a family celebration.”

“Oh come on,” Emma cajoled smiling up at him, “after all you’ve done for us, both in getting Henry back and in helping to break the new curse, you practically are family”

“We really would be happy to have you,” Mary Margaret said, reaching out to pat Hook’s arm.

His smile grew. “I wouldn’t miss it for all the rum in the Caribbean.”

NEXT CHAPTER->

[bleue-flora]

20 Questions For Writers

One as tagged by @x-i-l-verify and I’m a sucker for answering questions. :)

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

7 (and since it’s not many I’m going to color code them) - Wow that’s actually crazy, can’t believe it’s only been a little over a year since I first posted.

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

129,165 - Yo, I’ve written a couple novels worth in words let’s go!

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Dream SMP. (though I have a real angsty fic idea for MCU’s Loki that I’ve considered doing…)

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

(Poor B is for Betrayal is at a disadvantage with only coming out this week lol)

Crow’s Nest

Which makes sense since it is the longest finished work and the most diverse in content, but it’s pretty wild since it’s only been since October. (I’m going to try and not assume it’s just because of all of the co-author, @midnight-fangirl01’s readers lol<3 :)…)

Dreamcatcher

Which I am probably the most proud of as far as my individual work, especially because the concept is really fun to explore. Hoping to finish the sequel soon but we’ll see.

Good Cop ‘Bad’ Cop

This is the shortest non-one shot by like half, so it’s interesting that it ranks higher. I do make some kinda cool graphics for it so I’m glad people like it. Not gonna lie though, a combination of positive feedback and projecting has made it go much farther than the one shot I had originally planned. And since I usually do a lot of planning for stuff it’s no wonder that I have non idea what I’m doing lol. :)

Misery Loves Another Idiot With A Jukebox Where His Soul Should Be (Or umm Misery for short)

(Every time I have to type that out I wonder why the heck I made the title so long, I means its perfect but also you can’t even do a good acronym because that’d still be long…) To be fair the kudo count is really close between Dreamcatcher, Good Cop ‘Bad Cop and this one, which is interesting…

Back in the day, when I first posted this as my blooper reel I did not expect people to like it this much, but I’m glad I’m not alone in my affinity for torture box madness. >:D I still can’t decide which is more unhinged the hopscotch or the crucifixion… like my mental health this year was suffering for real… lol

If The Crown Fits, Wear It

I mean c!Techno should always rank top 5 so it makes sense. ;) As someone who doesn’t love to read one oneshots because I get too attached and sad when it ends, I can’t say I’m overly surprised at its ranking. But also still surprised. Regardless,it was really healing for me and I’m glad it seems to have been for others too.

(Ok though for real my first fic Hell in a Box being the lowest makes me kinda sad not gonna lie. Like it’s true that I think I’ve certainly gotten better at writing, which is actually why I edited it this summer, but it is the one that started it all and while it’s not my favorite work at his point it does have some really cool scenes and holds a special place in my heart.……)

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Always. Every one. They took the time to make me smile so the least I can do is share the love or fun. Especially when I spend a maddening amount of time on specific details it makes me so happy when someone noticed and enjoyed. <3 :)

6. What’s the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Yes. Oh wait lol I mean technically it would be Misery since there is both no ending and it’s more so a complication so technically it probably won’t get one. But if we are talking a finished work with an actual ending then probably Dreamcatcher I guess, because it’s kinda a sad realization, though technically it would have been Crow’s Nest if not for the co-author spoiling my plans lol >;)

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

I mean easily Crow’s Nest… I mean the ‘epilogue’ is like 13,000 words so that’s how you know it’s good. ;D

8. Do you get hate on your fic?

No not really. And honeslty my self esteem is low enough I’d probably quick if did. :) I did receive a hurtful but also wild accusation (from what I discovered to be a bot) that Good Cop ‘Bad’ Cop was written by AI, which is funny because honestly that fic is really uniquely formatted with literal nutrition facts I designed at the end, like heh? An AI doesn’t come up with this.

9. Do you write smut?

Nope. And I do not read it either. In fact, I originally thought that all fanfiction was smut but after reading my first one that was recommended by a friend I was pleased to discover there is plenty of fanfiction that isn’t.

10. Do you write crossovers?

Haven’t yet? But I wouldn’t be the most opposed to it…

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes, someone is translating Crow’s Nest into Russian, which is pretty cool.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic?

Yes with @midnight-fangirl01 and it was pretty fun. Though the short timeline and time difference made it difficult as well as my canon compliance extremism. But overall, I think we made a really good pair and I certainly got some new writing skills. It is by far the longest fic I have worked on so I’m pretty proud of it and certainly couldn’t have pulled something like it off without her.

14. What‘s your all-time favorite ship?

Umm I don’t really do ships, but Drunz is one that is cute, and I always try and keep my fics kinda open and up for interpretation for anyone who does ship them. I think in general my opinion on their relationship doesn’t change much on whether they are platonic or not.

15. What’s the WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

I intend to finish everything I post whether it’s how I planned or less so, because it makes me sad when works are unfinished, and I like closure, however sad or open-ended it is. At the moment I’m struggling with Good Cop ‘Bad’ Cop because my writing is based on projection and spurs of creativity so I guess I’ve struggled to project onto c!Bad recently. I will say I actually wrote most of the end the other day, so worse case scenario I just post it, but I do have ideas for chapters before then. It’s just whether or not I get inspired to.

16. What’s your writing strengths?

I’d say despite generally disliking writing it, character/actual person sounding dialogue. Also my detailed descriptions that help you visualize the scene.

17. What’s your writing weaknesses?

Probably pacing, like I don’t seem to cover a lot of ground in my fics. And for the Dreamcatcher sequel I’ve been struggling a lot with exposition.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

If you mean because the character speaks it then yes that’s fine I love character accuracy but there should be translations. Otherwise it ruins my immersion and it’s rude to make me switch screens on my phone and get blinded by the light just so I can translate. Like lots of people don’t translate for Ranboo and it’s really annoying.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Dream SMP.

20. Favorite fic you’ve ever written?

How dare you ask be to choose between my babies! XD lol… I mean… I don’t know Misery is the most fun to write because I get to just be unhinged and I can stop or start wherever I want. Crow’s Nest is the one I’m probably the most proud of since it look a lot of lost sleep, research of characters I hadn’t done yet and we basically wrote it in a month and that just blows my mind. But I don’t know my favorite? Maybe Dreamcatcher I guess…

Hmmm tagging: @midnight-fangirl01 @elmhat @catsandgoodbooks @mistythedritten @draconixiaa @swordfright @the-final-sif … umm I don’t know I have no wifi so trying to figure out people to tag is hard but if you’re a writer and you see this consider yourself tagged and feel free to participate I’d love to see your answers. <3 <3

[kai-ninjago]

for the ask game you just reblogged

all of them

every question

:)

First of all, THANK YOU SO MUCH this is literally a dream come true I love talking abt myself

1) phones Lock Screen: a drawing of myself and one of my main F/Os :3 art by @4i-i0v3-y0u!! One of my best friends here on tumblr :0

2) cheese or chocolate: cheese!! I love cheese soooo much

3) nicknames: just from my math teacher, which is kind of embarrassing— he calls me Kai Guy

4) last song: love me, normally

5) have I ever written fanfiction: yes! I have written LOTS of fanfiction. I even have a fanfiction request blog, @randoms-fandoms!

6) discord: nope! Not on discord. It’s kind of a not fun subject to talk about actually— not for any bad reason, I just got so heavily excluded by all my irl friends on there that I decided to leave

7) piercings: nope :0

8) what says the most about a person: compassion and patience for others.

9) cookie: cherry 🍒

10) dog person!

11) headphones!

12) last thing I said out loud: “we’ll go on an adventure later,” because I was going to take my dog out to get French fries with me but I called ahead and the cook was out for another thirty minutes, so we’re waiting now.

13) a weird fact that I know: horses can move their skin independently from their body, to an extent

14) I am a night owl

15) favorite place to nap: my moms bed lol

16) are you queer: yes, rn I ID as trans, arospec, achillean, and bisexual

17) three words I would use to describe myself are: thoughtful, caring, and morose

18) sweat pants!

19) whatever seasonal drink they have— like lemonade or cocoa :) I don’t drink coffee

20) a color I can’t stand is gray

21) prized possession: just a silly little stuffed animal I got as a gift from my mom

22) tea!

23) aquatic dinosaurs— i dont know which one but I like them all!

24) I’ve been on tumblr for six years :)

25) desert island item: I’ll chose another one this time— a comfortable bed :)

26) my aesthetic kind of varies depending on my mood— but generally i like a subtle lovecore academia vibe, if that makes sense? When I’m manic I like kidcore though

27) dream job: in home caretaker or nurse for a nursing home

28) relationship status: single, but I’m having fun (selfships)

29) my favorite outfit is when it’s wintertime and I can wear my cute pink terry cloth sweatpants and a sweater— along with my cow hat of coarse, and a scarf because I get coooold 🥶

30) a song I know all the lyrics to is Bennys Dispatch from in the heights— my favorite theatrical production!

31) my hair is brown, but since I’ve been on T it’s actually darkened to almost black

32) I do talk to myself— mostly people ignore me because they know what I’m doing, but recently I was on a camping trip with my school and my teachers kept overhearing and responding to me, so that was kind of embarrassing

33) I do not wear makeup

34) best compliment ever? Probably just my grandma telling me that I’m the best at taking care of her

35) my favorite blog— outside of friends, it’s got to be @earththings! I love scrolling through their blog whenever I feel stressed or sad, it always cheers me up ❤️ (sorry for the random tag btw)

Thanks for the ask miles, I feel like you already know me so well bc I really do love answering questions haha

[phantomato]

Tom Riddle and the Circuitous Path

A friend recently wrote a wonderful reflection on The Charioteer and Pnin and the trope of a character taking a “circuitous path” through life in order to reach their desired endpoint: lifestyle, career, romance. To excerpt:

There is a trope that I love to read in fiction and especially in fanfiction: characters living the life they were meant to live… but via a completely new (and often more circuitous) route. This happy realization is accompanied by a profound grief over the more direct path not taken.

(“profound grief”! @mademoiselle-red you speak my language 💖)

And I was shocked on two counts when I read this:

(1) It made me excited to think about Voldemort again, because (2) This is the theme which underpins so much of my Voldemort fic!

I started thinking about these ideas earlier this year, when I stumbled across a few comments on the trope of reunions within romance. I love reunions—spot them in my fics across fandoms—and particularly the sense of finding someone again at a better time in life. It could not have worked out in the first go round because circumstances were against them. For Tom Riddle and Thoros Nott, this usually takes the form of Tom’s insecurity (financial, societal, emotional), and Thoros’ hesitance (shyness, shame, prejudice). When I make them reconnect, I try to show how they’ve individually overcome at least a few of these roadblocks during the intervening years, and how they’ve made progress on others. The reunion works because neither man is the other’s project, and they can make a relationship work given those improvements in their situation.

But I’ve also often considered myself a writer of grief, and that’s the element missing from the “reunion” trope as I’ve otherwise seen it defined. Because it is not purely a happy reunion which tickles my fancy—I want to see the sorrow of those lost years apart, of knowing that this happiness together was hard-won and wishing it might have come about more easily. If only, if only. Knowing that it could not have! That the time was necessary, even as it means less to spend together. But not so that the grief is thrust in a reader’s face, taking up space as the forefront of the story. I want the grief as a texture in the background of the entire piece, so that every bit of beauty is slightly colored by it, so that there isn’t anything straightforwardly and uncomplicatedly happy in the story.

Enter the profound grief of the circuitous path! And along with it, my awareness of this beyond a shipping context.

I’ve talked in the past about viewing my fic as in conversation with the wider fandom, and that remains true, where a fandom exists. For Voldemort, one of the earliest tropes I felt compelled to push against was that of the young, powerful Tom Riddle, Dark Lord: Tom at 20, fresh out of school, with a circle of devoted (and Marked, sometimes!) followers. The Knights of Walpurgis becoming the Death Eaters—hell, the Knights of Walpurgis existing. I hated all of this because it wasn’t how I saw Tom’s early life. Eventually, I sat down and worked out the timeline which we get from the series so as to explain why my middle-aged Voldemort wasn’t merely headcanon but rather textually-supported, but the bones of that intuition had been in place from the first time I tackled a fic about Tom Riddle.

But textual support only means so much (not much) in fandom, and rightly so. It’s not an argument for why certain types of stories are emotionally satisfying to me and why others are not. The emotions result from the journey, and what the journey of those Dark-Lord-at-twenty fics lacked was the set of obstacles and the time and the self-reflective grief of taking decades to begin working on your life’s goal. I titled that post “44, starting a war,” after all.

What middle-aged Voldemort offers is an opportunity to dig into the parts of his character that I love. If he doesn’t have success until later in life, if his campaign for personal power doesn’t begin until the 1970s, then we have so much to look at in the lead-up:

His childhood, of course, and the difficulties of being raised at Wool’s, of being a child raised without magical awareness before 11, of being an outsider at school for his name, his (presumed) heritage, his finances, his (lack of) social graces, and more, which ends in the ultimate embarrassment of not securing his dream job teaching at Hogwarts

His young adulthood working as a shop clerk at what might be the most respectable store on Knockturn Alley, but is still a secondhand shop—something between an antiques dealer and a pawn shop—in what is clearly an under-resourced and socioeconomically challenged district within magical London

His lost decade spent away from Britain, without known support from any friends or acquaintances, very probably including difficulties supporting himself as he had left his job in order to pursue it

His return to Britain and the efforts spent gathering his earliest followers, trying and failing a second time to achieve an appointment as a Hogwarts instructor, and whatever stresses marked the rising first war

These form canon Voldemort’s circuitous path to becoming the Dark Lord we know and fear. They’re what I most enjoy reproducing, reconstructing, and recontextualizing in fic. I’ve hit each of these periods at least once (Sieidi, my primary take on the lost decade, was the hardest—I find that era difficult to access in part for research reasons), and they each offer rich veins of possibility for examining the obstacles in Voldemort’s life and asking what it would take for him to reach some kind of happiness, contentedness, satisfaction. What would he grieve if he quit his pursuit of power partway into his travels abroad, or before murdering Hepzibah Smith, or after he’d gathered the initial core of his Death Eaters? What might trigger him to question his choice to kill his father? What might a growing romance, or a self-destructive sexual relationship, reveal to him about relationships past? What contrasts might he see between the spaces occupied by Tom Riddle and by Voldemort? Can these parts of himself be reconciled—does he want them to be?

I want the characters that I love to be content at the end of my stories, for the most part. I want Voldemort to find centeredness, to forgive himself some of his mistakes, to commit to not reproducing the worst of them, for his own sake. This is what defines a compelling character arc for me. So the language of the circuitous path allows me to access this desire in a new way, by asking myself about the endpoint someone has been striving towards, and what circumstances forced them to find this uneven road towards it, and what they will mourn when they reach their goal. For Voldemort, I will change my answers to these in every fic—it’s the joy of having a favorite character, getting to write them over and over again in new ways—but rarely have I wanted him to have a straightforward path to recognition. There is no teenaged gang leader or young-adult Dark Lord in my heart. Now I can put it into words: for me, the charm of Voldemort is that he fails, repeatedly, and readjusts, in response to many mundane challenges resulting from the context into which he is born; he is so often older when he reaches any sort of endpoint; I write to see his success tinged with grief, and his obstacles to lead him to unexpected forms of happiness.

[roleplayfinder]

Hi, you can call me Storm! I'm 30 and the mom of a loud and demanding cat ❤️

I’m a multiple paragraphs/novella style writer. I love to write detailed descriptions and delve into a character’s head/emotions as well as surroundings. I compare it to writing a novel together. Not every reply has to be novella length, however. If there are action or dialogue heavy scenes, I tend to do a shorter back and forth to keep the momentum going. 

I only do MxF (with me writing the female role). I don’t double, but I’m more than happy to write side characters of either gender to help move the story along. I only want female authors writing male characters as I’ve had bad experiences with cis male authors. (Trans men and nonbinary pals are exceptions).

I'm really hoping to find a friendship, someone who can add to our story, and most importantly, someone who wants a long-term connection. It's difficult for me to write with someone if I don't feel that genuine bond. It's also important to me to have a high level of activity, with at least one reply a day. 

If you suddenly stop replying ic and ooc, I'll drop the story after 2 attempts of gauging interest spaced a week apart. But feel free to message me if you want to pick the story back up again, even months later. 

Searching For: 

20+ partners only 

An excellent grasp of grammar, punctuation, spelling, and capitalization. (Literate to advanced writers only, please. I'm not looking for newbies)

Plot before smut. While mature themes will be in my writing, there needs to be chemistry between our characters. I normally do a 60/40 plot to smut ratio and my characters tend to be subs/switches depending on the circumstances 

 An older male character (early forties to mid-late fifties). I love the gruff and tough men with dark pasts who secretly have a soft heart. I also love grumpy, hypermasculine men being intimidated by sweet but fiery women. My characters are mid-late twenties to early-mid thirties so the age gap is legal. 

Enthusiasm to chat about our character and ship, how to crush them and then gushing over fluffy moments. I love crying over characters and what the heck they’re doing. I want my heart ripped from my chest from angst, then feeling like it’s going to burst from overwhelming cuteness. I want us to love these characters and the world we create. I want to make pinterest boards, spotify playlists, graphics, and toss headcanons back and forth until late at night. 

Have an idea for a scene? Found a picture that inspired you? Send it to me! Be invested when it comes to plotting/worldbuilding. There’s nothing worse than receiving one sentence in reply to two paragraphs of ideas, or having a doormat partner who says “sure” to whatever I ask. Building ideas one on top of the other, watching them snowball into amazing plot threads brings me joy. But having to pull plot ideas like I’m pulling teeth makes me think you’re not interested, and I will lose interest in return.

Interests: 

Modern fantasy, monsters, sci-fi, omegaverse, southern gothic/midwest gothic (i’m a sucker for that southern/texas drawl), horror, height/size difference, cheating/affair, enemies to lovers, slow burn romance, spooky small towns, post apocalyptic/dystopia, crime/mysteries, emotionally charged/dark and gritty, bodyguard x assignment, forced proximity, opposites attract, fated mates, anti heroes/morally gray characters, traumatic pasts, grumpy x sunshine, one bed, men who simp over their women, touch her / him and die, and more.

I have lots of original plot ideas in mind as well!

Fandoms (OCs ONLY) 

Star Wars, Stranger Things, Mercy Thompson Series, True Blood, The Last of Us, Hunger Games

I write only on discord using servers with organized channels. Like this post or add me on discord (magicofrain) if you’re interested. The most effective way to grab my genuine interest is by messaging me as if we've been friends for years. Please let me know which interests you liked from my ad.

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