#and that you get to keep your job

[totally-normal-guy]

Sentences that are both relieving and terrifying at the same time.

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

I love you Safety Wizard.

(Inspired by @keroascrazy)

[beebeedibapbeediboop]

Chained

[bacchuschucklefuck]

while teen while goblin while aroace while injured while doing your best

[skunkes]

[turtleblogatlast]

Love the thought of Leo just casually being well traveled to absurd degrees. Like one day they’re facing their new Big Bad of the year and like, Draxum or whoever says that the key to their fight is located somewhere in, like, Latvia or some place, but no one knows where to start.

Then Leo’s like “oh I know a place” and when asked how the heck he could know of one it smash cuts to Leo falling through the ceiling of said place due to a portal mishap.

Also love the idea of Leo, being as accidentally (and then later, purposefully) well traveled as he is, sometimes taking his family on outings to different places all over, maybe to some new Yokai spots he found along the way.

In these places, Leo 100% lets his bros get scammed by tourist traps.

[halflifebutawesome]

anyone wanna be boy bestfriends in a scary research facility and get increasingly concerned for eachothers well-being?

[makorragal-312]

*Gerrard existing*

Buck: I'm gonna fucking kill this guy.

Eddie: DON'T. He's not even worth it.

*Gerrard gerrards in his general direction*

Eddie:

[yuwuta]

Your thing about katsuki losing his shit when u don’t answer his calls is hilarious to me bc he definitely would and since that’s just roommates that implies that when you’re actually like together he’d be so much worse (And eren does this too I can’t help but bring him up)

he takes it so so seriously it’s comical. ever since katsuki started at ua, he’s acted like he’s your government assigned bodyguard, too. and through all the attacks and shit that happened while he was in school, he really doesn’t take any chances, so he needs you to pick up the damn phone when he calls. you guys only became roommates because he was one missed call away from having a heart attack, please he does not play around when it comes to you. showing up to your place of employment at 2pm in full hero gear and dirt on his face because he called you thrice between 11am and 1:32pm and texted twice and you still didn’t answer so he’s coming to check up on you himself.

missing a call from him while you’re on way home from work bc you were underground on the subway, and not even realizing until you open the door and there’s katsuki standing in the entryway with his arms crossed and a scowl on his face and looks to your phone sticking out of your bag, taps on it, and dramatically goes “oh, so it does work!” to which you roll your eyes, and earn a poke to the nose and katsuki grumbling, “answer when i call, dummy,”’ before going back to the kitchen to finish dinner. he’s such a brat about it (and the only reason he didn’t go collect you from the train station out of panic is because you two have each other’s locations now—in an effort to stop dynamight from interrupting your work meetings).

when you two finally start dating, honestly it calms a bit. naturally, you’re spending more time together, and less virtual communication is needed. his panic really only sets in when there’s an attack or a villain on the run. he calls you before and after missions—sometimes he calls during them, he’s got to make sure that you’re okay, that you’re safe, that he can come back to you when it’s all said and done. all his friends say he’s whipped but katsuki really couldn’t care less, he needs you to be there. and let the record show, that when you call him first, he always comes running

[blackbatcass]

listen I know it’s kind of corny and inaccurate to act like every single person in the dc universe knows each other and is besties but it IS endlessly funny to me to follow the web of connections and see how many degrees removed from each other everyone is.

like look at the arrowfam okay. ollie and dinah are together, ollie is homoerotic best friends with hal, dinah is homoerotic best friends with babs. roy is dating dick, has a kid with jade, and is basically an adoptive father to both grant emerson and rose wilson. connor is dating kyle and is constantly followed around by eddie fyers. mia is friends with a lot of the second gen teen titans kids, had an on-again-off-again thing going on with steph for a while, and is currently dating sienna. emiko is besties with courtney and some of the other recent teen titans. sin has a small army of protective aunts from the birds of prey. the real question is how far does it go before ollie puts a cap on the number of people who are invited to family brunch on sundays

[ratatatastic]

every new paul lore drop we get we just learned hes just been the worlds punching bag ever since he was a wee lad

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Remember: The burning sensation is part of the process.

[sergle]

yall are about to piss me off by not having any PASSING basic knowledge of the way the u.s. military manipulates its recruits into joining by typing up one of your uninformed, unresearched, unempathetic, individualistic, unbelievably annoying posts about how 100% of the people in the military ended up there because they just Love America So Damn Much! they're extremely mature and informed at time of recruitment, they can totally leave anytime they want, they totally had tons of other avenues in life they could've taken, there was no rush at all to get income as fast as possible, and everyone in the military also totally is part of the combat divisions and personally enjoys being IN the military very much, big believers of violence. everyone in the military is shooting guns all day, that's how that works. they LOVE BLOODSHED. also I love the "amewicans haha" twang to this type of shit because you're actually TOTALLY stealing our Thing, which is turning systemic issues into Individual Issues. Instead of talking about the powers that be, it's so Personal Choice up in here. It's, "well you shouldn't have done it then. I totally wouldn't because I know better." you don't wanna talk about the military industrial complex as a whole, and you don't want to talk about recruiters, you just want to pin the blame on Specific Individual People one-by-one, as if they're responsible for the system that they're being ground up in. someone was in the military? bad person, no matter what. it's easier to believe that, I guess, than to acknowledge that Normal People (with high school educations) are manipulated and incentivized into joining a system that is Bad. at like age 18. but yeah no that 18 year old should have just been smarter lol haha anyway here are some screenshots for no particular reason

side note this reply of someone going "umm just get loans and go into a high paying field it's easy XD" as a direct response to someone trying to explain how most americans joining the military are being funneled in that direction out of a need for money.

and another person who Decided that americans join the military just CLENCHING their teeth thinking of other people, and not thinking completely selfishly about their own selves and their own income/housing/healthcare.

[pixlokita]

When you be disabled, making less money than the previous year and have the medical records to prove it and the government denies you insurance assistance because you don’t have kids …. wha….

[overtake]

Hi!!!! I can't get over how much I love this fic and I was thinking about the first time they meet in the locker room at the practice rink. You wrote "Max looks up, cheeks flushing in surprise to find someone else in there. His eyes go big at seeing Daniel." and I was wondering if there's a chance we can read about Max's point of view sometime in the future ♥️ I would really love to read anything you want to share with us about this fic algjkshd ♥️

So late on answering this but I’d love to provide you with Max’s POV!

The first time Max talked to Daniel Ricciardo, Daniel was commanding attention in a cluster of hockey players at Max’s rookie season All-Star Game. To date, Max isn’t sure if his ears are just innately tuned to the frequency of his bright, honking laugh, or if his joy was truly louder than the announcement and subsequent crowd cheers for the start of the hardest shot competition.

Daniel’s helmet and gloves were carelessly abandoned somewhere. He was leaning his chin on the butt of his carelessly taped stick, and his curls were toeing the line between handsomly tousled and unruly. He was giving everyone who spoke his undivided attention, the bags under his warm brown eyes gently crinkling in time with his smiles. Max didn’t care that some annoying reporter kept trying to grab him over to the side for an interview. He had just wanted to know what it felt like to be in Daniel’s orbit.

Between Daniel and Lewis Hamilton was a space big enough for Max to worm his way into, and he didn’t care that he was crashing the conversation. Daniel wouldn’t care either, probably. Max knew lots of people who played with him, and everyone said the same gushing things about Daniel’s kindness.

Most of the guys just nodded at him and didn’t break their side conversations, but Daniel had flashed his bright white teeth at him. “Max Verstappen,” he said. He said Max’s name funny, more like Maksh Vershtappen, and grinned a little wider after Max scrunched his face up at it. “Nice of you to join us, but aren’t you in this competition?”

He nodded over at where Sebastian Vettel was lining up a shot. Max just shrugged. “Maybe if I hide in this circle, they won’t be able to find me.”

“Aw,” Daniel said. “Shucks, Verstappen. Too nice to show up Seb?”

“I could’ve been on a beach,” Max said mournfully. “And instead I am here.”

Daniel laughed again. He doled them out as easily as breathing, but Max still let himself glow at the reward of being its cause. “Normally people wait until at least year two to start complaining about the All Star Game.”

“Well, they keep saying I’m ahead of my peers, first overall pick and everythint,” Max joked. Daniel opened his mouth to respond — some chirp about Max being cocky, Max would’ve bet — but his name was being announced as the next competitor, and he was forced out of the circle to perform like a show pony for the crowd.

“Save my spot,” he told Daniel, who winked.

“Only if you win.”

Max had won, and by a solid few miles per hour over Seb’s previous record. By the time he returned to the circle, Daniel had been warbling some terrible version of the American anthem, and Lewis had kindly explained the Fergie backstory to him, and then Daniel darted off toward Sebastian before Max could grab his attention back and make the joke he’d been trying to formulate about winning.

Up until the day Daniel walked into the Leafs practice facilities, Max never spoke to Daniel again, but he’d remembered the way Daniel’s attention had made him feel.

He’d mentally separated sex and hockey long ago. It wasn’t even a conscious choice he needed to make. He was in the locker room to win, and attraction was a distraction. He’d always known that he was into guys, as easily as he recognized that his name was Max and his eyes were blue, but that had nothing to do with hockey.

Hockey players weren’t a dating pool. A hockey team was an ecosystem so delicate that one chirp gone too far could throw off the entire chemistry of the team and lose them the season. The opponents were the guys trying to stop them from winning, and Max would be damned before he let there be a single earthly chance that he fucks one of them and they somehow use it against him to win. Thus, hockey and sex did not co-exist. It wasn’t even a consideration. Like his name, and his eyes, and being gay, it was a fact of life that Max never had to consciously think about.

Daniel was the first time his stomach flipped being nearby a hockey player, and he’d allowed himself the guilty pleasure of a youtube deep dive when it hit two weeks after the All Star Game and Daniel hadn’t left his mind. It resulted in a shame-ridden jerkoff session over bad commercial acting and an orgasm over a compilation of Ricciardo game-winners.

Daniel wasn’t even in the Leafs conference, Max had told himself after that first time. Max could have this. It wasn’t actually combining sex and hockey, and he’d still smash Daniel against the boards if he ever tried to get near Max’s puck.

Then Daniel was in Edmonton, still the other conference but in Max’s country, and everyone was calling it lights out on Daniel’s career. In the faceoff circle, face framed in orange fabric and dark circles, Max saw that all the free joy Daniel had once doled out had soured into pungent melancholy.

Max only had a few games against Daniel as an Oiler, but one stood out. It couldn’t have been more than two weeks before Daniel entered the assistance program, but there was a steely scrap of fight in his eyes that Max hadn’t seen in the past year and a half.

Max had won the only faceoff he had against Daniel that game, but Daniel stole the puck from him five seconds later in a motion so smooth that it slotted perfectly in the highlight reels Max had rabidly consumed and that everyone claimed were a ghost of Daniel past. He was focused on racing Daniel down the ice to try and prevent the breakaway, but his first thought when he heaved himself over the boards at the end of his shift was that he couldn’t fathom how anyone could consider Daniel done after a move like that.

He only understood when he heard their dipshit coach ream out Daniel a second later. It was a strain to hear from their bench, even with Zak’s loud-ass voice, but he was lecturing Daniel for attempting the shot. Zak was stabbing his stubby pointer at a whiteboard and screaming himself red to argue that Daniel should’ve passed to a guy that had been covered by two defencemen. The useless rookie he was referencing hadn’t even caught the rebound of Daniel’s shot on net, but fucking genius idea: don’t let your open guy go for the goal that Esteban had stopped only by the luckiest glance off his goalie stick.

Max understood, then. Daniel’s talent wasn’t gone. It’d just been suffocated. He was trying to change his game to conform to a system of hockey that constrained him to a set of plays. They weren’t allowing him to trust his gut, to capitalize on unexpected chances and make the right plays. Daniel would leave, or they would trade him, and Max knew he’d be better for it.

And then it was June, and Max had a surprise call from Cyril and a contact card for Daniel Ricciardo saved into his phone. He let himself be excited instead of apprehensive, even though letting himself combine hockey and sexual desire, all by using the desperate justification that the guy was a conference away, was clearly Max daring the universe to make this happen.

Max is here in his locker room in the heart of summer, and Daniel Ricciardo walks in with a slight stumble of hesitancy that betrays his uncertainty at finding Max in his new surroundings.

He looks back to the guy that keeps the sun a willing hostage in his smile. His curls are long and shiny, his under eyes no longer hollowed, and Max can see muscle on his body where there was once only bone. Max is struck dumb with the reckoning that his stomach still churns the same way at the sight of Daniel, even when he’s picking at his cuticles and looking the closest to nervous that he’ll probably let himself show.

This, Max grimly considers, could maybe be a problem.

[teyrnacousland]

Just a compilation of times Illario worries about and cares for Lucanis in The Wigmaker Job ♡