#and that way I’ll KNOW if it’s smth I want.

[maburp]

I’m in my early 20s so sometimes I forget I don’t live in a vacuum. If I fail here, if I pause here, there is so shame or rush, there are people around me that can help break my fall and I’m so lucky for that. My only job is to explore and figure out what will leave me with a fulfilling life and how my friends and family fit into that.

[inumbrapugnabimus-maybe]

But not green.

You know the song Mr. Jones? Yeah.

[puppyeared]

If I close my eyes and concentrate realllyyy hard I can pretend im in my animal crossing room

[alaskan-wallflower]

how my parents feel after always reminding me how much better my older brother is than me

[justmwahstruly]

I am not mentally well

(I'm sorry)

no no no! I’m still eating the worms!!!

[narugen]

keep thinking abt hoshina and mina GOD.. (spoilers for manga and kn8 bside)

given what hoshina said about his previous division treating him like a burden/parasite just because he can’t handle firearms and specializes in his swords… how tiring must it have been to have to work with those people each mission despite having a common goal?

and how tiring must it have been to be constantly told off by his own father for wanting to continue his family’s tradition, or to be told to give up on being part of the jakdf by his own teacher -

before mina, a high ranking commander personally reached out to him, to recruit him into her team?

the fact that she didn’t see him during joint trainings and think: why bother with that? why bother with blades when bigger kaiju will appear? when she personally deals with bigger kaiju herself.

but she instead saw him and thought: he can help me, he can cover my weaknesses (mina not being able to handle a vegetable peeler is hilarious) and he’s someone i can trust

she sees potential in him, she sees how he can excel within her division, she saw hoshina and as captain - has probably heard everyone talk shit about him but she was still certain that he’d be one of her division’s greatest asset

(and even when platoon leader ebina refused to let hoshina help out, mina stood firm on her decision and her claim that hoshina would be useful. when she asked him if he could take down the big kaiju, and he could only promise saving the child within it - she believed him, took his word for it and waited until he carried out his promise.)

and now hoshina is the vice captain, putting faith in a new recruit whom most people wouldn’t have believed in… full fucking cycle..

tldr: it makes me rly fucking emotional to think about how hoshina was given a reason to continue improving with his swords after being told to give up all this time… and how mina had never once thought his abilities were useless 👍

also makes me crazy how protective he is of his position as vice captain, as the person who stands by captain ashiro’s side…

[samuraisharkie]

the thing about living in the world is that it is filled with hopeless anguish and despair and evil and there’s no way for anyone to defeat it all. but you have to keep on living

[www-pinkhearse]

I’m sorry

[kimetsu-chan]

I don’t think I should be allowed to move out lol

[kavehater]

Man I just give up.

[doyeons]

i looove how there’s some of this stuff i’m studying tht’s clicking with me and i’m looking forward to learning it and i love how i’m excited to learn more and move up to more complex subjects and i love looking forward to the social aspect of working in a science field and doing research w/ others. peace and love on planet earth

[hum--hallelujah]

it's Crab who does the saving. of course it is, the nurse, the silent, confident, so very calm one of them. the one who loves Benzedrine more than he could ever speak. of course it is. but he's not calm, and he's not confident. he is not the doctor. he's not meant to be. he's always been meant to be the support. that's where he thrives, where he was born to be. of course he would be the nurse. his heart is pounding and he's breathing fast, too fast, and sweating, he can feel it. he's terrified that he's wrong, that he's going to be wrong, that he's going to do something wrong and kill Benze instead of save him. he can't get the moment out of his head. the split second, not ten minutes ago, walking into the station and Benze on a chair, slumped over the table, unresponsive. he thinks his heart stopped, but it's beating too hard for asystole right now. he knows diagnostics. Benze taught him this. he knows what an overdose looks like not because of books the way Benze learned it but because he's seen it happen before. not often, but when partiers in the Zones get their hands on City drugs, they're prone to taking it too far. this isn't party drugs, though. that isn't Benze. the bottle on the table, empty but for a drop, reads morphine. Crab thinks of this morning, before they'd left for the track. Benze had been down, and hard, with a headache. he said it was normal. he said it was fine. but he hid under a blanket and groaned whenever Sandman or Donnie talked too loud. he'd been in pain. how long has this been happening? how bad has it gotten to warrant this? how desperate must he have been the first time to stop the pain? how hadn't Crab known? he'd sat on the edge of the bed before leaving and kissed Benzedrine's temple. he's morbidly glad for that. fatalistic, but if that's the last interaction they'll ever have had, at least it was that. his hands are shaking when he signs at Sandman and Donnie, either or, whoever has more presence of mind, to find- he doesn't have the time to fingerspell it. Benze's lips are turning blue. he's not responding to- the word is stimuli. the sign is a mimicry of poking someone. so it's Crab who retrieves the medicine, of course it is, of course it's Crab. this vial is labeled kloxxado. Benze called it naloxone when he found it in their inventory the first time. Crab's hands are shaking as he preps a new injection. most things work fastest intravenously. the blood does it. the heart does it. his heart is thumping out of control. his heart is beating just to keep Benze's the same. his best friend doesn't even respond when he sticks the needle into his arm. Benze might be the one who’s dying (he can’t die, Crab won’t let him, of course he won’t, he can’t-) but Crab thinks maybe he’s only alive for Benze. like maybe if Benze dies he will too. like maybe the only thing keeping his heart beating is the fluttering pulse he can feel as he holds onto Benze’s wrist. he feels like he’s gonna pass out but he does all the right things, keeps his best friend alive despite himself because of course he does. he’s the caregiver. he’s the nurse. his heart is beating for this. (his heart is beating for Benze)

[lightblueminecraftorchid]

Me, yesterday, 5:30 PM: wow I’m honestly doing so great at my adult tasks; I’ve gotten some homework done, I went grocery shopping, my laundry is almost dry. I spent so many spoons and I barely feel tired! Maybe I’m finally fully recovering from burnout!

Me, yesterday, 6:00 PM: oh.

[malachitezmeyka]

Honestly I’d really like to make some kind of MLP AU or redesign/rewrite or whatever else of the sort because MLP was essentially my first fandom and it’s extremely nostalgic to me, but I’ve seen so many people do it already and have found myself physically incapable of producing something that isn’t blatantly copying what other people have done :/

[victory-cookies]

trying to branch out! trying to connect with others! I am not scared!

[sanchoyo]

unrelated to anything but ….the way I’ve been rotating my ocs around for months now nonstop might be the hardest and longest period I’ve ever obsessed over them and I keep thinking abt it and like. The plan was to do a fanfic with illustrations each chapter. I LIKE writing! But I don’t think the story’s suited for it the more I think abt it. There’s shots I can see so clearly, character expressions that words won’t do justice and I don’t think I could do justice in general without art. But I tried a webcomic twice and failed so hard and the idea of starting and failing a third time is such a bummer!!!! But I really do think it’s the medium it would work best in 🫠

The story in my brain is like, 50 chapters long (I have a notebook with rough outlines already so that’d be the Ideal Length) even if I was to go wild and do a chapter per month (which would be an ungodly amount of work…I’d have to keep the chapters kinda short to do that, too!) it’d still take four years to finish if I was doing 50 chapters and one a month. And it’s not like I’m mad I quit the other times bc I’ve reworked so much this year alone!!! I think the ideas and concepts I have now are better but… lord the amount of work and time it’d take. Would it even be worth it?

I’ve played with the idea of a patreon for it, where I’d release behind the scenes stuff and early pages (the comic wouldn’t be paywalled, just early access yk I’d never entirely paywall a fan comic lol) but it’d be really really disheartening if no one was interested. Even when I was just putting it out on dA the lack of feedback or interest hurt sm bc these are My Personal Blorbos. My Babies 🫠 and this story is like. Everything to me… I know I know not everything good is supposed to be marketable or popular to be good and I shouldn’t worry abt that kinda thing but I DO!!! I like getting feedback and nice comments when I work hard on stuff 🥺